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Stop f*cking calling me minority or part of a underrepresented group. Yeah I noticed I am one of the only women on a conference. I DONT CARE, I AM A PROGRAMMER NOT A SPECIAL SNOWFLAKE. Hire me for my work, not because you want you company to be more diverse.50
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Things I've learned throughout my 5 - 6 years as a programmer.
- StackOverflow is full of assholes.
- CMS's are for weaklings.
- The best feeling about waking up in the morning is figuring out how to solve that error in your code.
- You no longer think about normal people things. Your mind is full of code.
- You're practically a computer.
- ALWAYS backup and save your stuff or you WILL regret it. Enable autosave if possible.
- RIP your social life (if your friends don't know squat about programming)
- Darkness is better.
- Being a programmer is amazing.26 -
A man was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will tell everyone how smart and brave you are and how you are my hero" The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will be your loving companion for an entire week." The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and returned it to his pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for a year and do ANYTHING you want." Again the man took the frog out, smiled at it, and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a year and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?" The man said, "Look, I'm a computer programmer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is cool."11
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Something which I felt inspirational.. As a programmer or as a Human being, it's our duty to teach others what we know well !
(My Personal opinion)
37 -
I got my first job as a programmer... for a salary twice as big as we had at home for four people. I'm f***ing excited!
Wish me luck :)15 -
A programmer is walking along a beach and finds a lamp. He rubs the lamp, and a genie appears. “I am the most powerful genie in the world. I can grant you any wish, but only one wish.”
The programmer pulls out a map, points to it and says, “I’d want peace in the Middle East.”
The genie responds, “Gee, I don’t know. Those people have been fighting for millenia. I can do just about anything, but this is likely beyond my limits.”
The programmer then says, “Well, I am a programmer, and my programs have lots of users. Please make all my users satisfied with my software and let them ask for sensible changes.”
At which point the genie responds, “Um, let me see that map again.”4 -
A programmer and a business analyst are sitting in the break room one day eating lunch when suddenly the microwave catches fire. Thinking quickly, the analyst leaps up, unplugs the microwave, grabs the trash can, fills it with water from sink, and dumps the water on the microwave to put out the flames.
A few weeks later the two are again having lunch in the break room when suddenly the coffee maker bursts into flames. The programmer leaps up, grabs the coffee maker, shoves it into the microwave oven, and then hands the trash can to the business analyst, thus re-using the solution developed for the previous project.4 -
!Rant
Thought this was kind of funny for us lady devs/programmers, and something we can relate to.
The lady in the image is an engineer/programmer and is getting married but doesn't have any girlfriends (since she works in a mostly male oriented field, like us). So instead of having female bridesmaids she had her close brogrammers / college classmates stand up in her wedding with her. I mean, it was probably less drama, anyways! 😂
I'm the only girl on my team so I def relate!
*not my pic*
27 -
A physicist, an engineer and a programmer were in a car driving over a steep alpine pass when the brakes failed. The car was getting faster and faster, they were struggling to get round the corners and once or twice only the feeble crash barrier saved them from crashing down the side of the mountain. They were sure they were all going to die, when suddenly they spotted an escape lane. They pulled into the escape lane, and came safely to a halt.
The physicist said "We need to model the friction in the brake pads and the resultant temperature rise, see if we can work out why they failed".
The engineer said "I think I've got a few spanners in the back. I'll take a look and see if I can work out what's wrong".
The programmer said "Why don't we get going again and see if it's reproducible?"1 -
A programmer puts two glasses on his bedside table before going to sleep. A full one, in case he gets thirsty and an empty one, in case he doesn't.5
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im a programmer.
Moms : Son, please fix my phone
Me : what the...
Moms : Cmon ur the IT guy right?
Dad : My laptop must be broken, can u fix it ?
Me : i can't..
Dad : ur degree is useless
Me : ....
Friend : hi, ur the IT guy right ? can u help me ?
Me : Sure ...
Friend : please hack my BF facebook account..
Me : *face Palm.18 -
Being a programmer:
If you ain't questing your life from time to time, you are not doing it right.4 -
I am a programmer, and if you ask me to fix your pc, I accept the challenge... After all, I can Google a problem and implement a solution like no other, you are right to have come to me.5
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I saw a guy wearing a hoodie saying "trust me, I'm a programmer" recently. and I immediately not trusted him. Does anyone who really codes actually wear something like that?29
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I am a hobby programmer. I just got rejected by the biggest crush of my life. I guess I'm stuck with my stupid wothless fucking life writing code. How fucking exciting....24
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A programmer was walking along the beach when he found a lamp. Upon rubbing the lamp a genie appeared who stated "I am the most powerful genie in the world. I can grant you any wish you want, but only one wish."
The programmer pulled out a map of the Mediterranean area and said "I'd like there to be a just and last peace among the people in the middle east."
The genie responded, "Gee, I don't know. Those people have been fighting since the beginning of time. I can do just about anything, but this is beyond my limits."
The programmer then said, "Well, I am a programmer and my programs have a lot of users. Please make all the users satisfied with my programs, and let them ask sensible changes"
Genie: "Uh, let me see that map again."1 -
"Programmers are persons that convert caffeine into code". Every time i see this quote, i ask myself: Am i the only one? (non-coffee drinking programmer)31
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Before marrying a programmer, give him a computer with low internet speed.
Then you can understand his real behaviors and ethics. :))
3 -
I know a guy, about 50 years old. He is a self-taught programmer since he was young, and he has always used Visual Basic (never anything newer than VB6).
He once needed to interface with a web application I wrote, so I asked him to send me a POST HTTP request. He didn't know what I was talking about. No notion of REST, sockets, HTTP, nothing.
The he showed me his code. Actually, his codes. He had multiple copies of the project, one for each version, and he even kept multiple variations of the software in different separate folders. He probably doesn't know what "version control" even means.
You think this is messy. You didn't see the actual code (it's a huge application!).
Spaghetti all over the place. Meaningful variable names, what are they? Default names for the controls, like button1, button2, etc, with forms with more than 30 buttons and text fields. This was the most incomprensibile code I have ever seen.
You might think that this guy is just a hobbyist.
No.
He sells his applications. To companies. They are obviously full of errors, but they buy them.
Now, if you're still with me, two questions come into my mind:
- why?? I hate this, because it's impossible to prove to a non-technical person that this is *not* software development.
- how do I know that, to someone else, I am not like him? How can I be sure that I know and will know what needs to be known?5 -
Saw an add on my fb feed:
"We will make you a programmer in 6 weeks" - course in programming.
6 f*king weeks! I've been studying 5 years, wrote down butt loads of code, debugged billions of bugs, read hundreds pages of documentation and I wouldn't call my self a full developed programmer.
But hey, those fu*kers will make you a programmer in 6 weeks!15 -
The Absolutely True Story of a Real Programmer Who Never Learned C.
I have a young friend named Sam who is quite a programming prodigy. Sam does know C! I need to make this clear: he’s not the titular programmer.
But a couple years ago Sam told me a story about a different programmer who never learned C, and I liked it so much that right on the spot I asked his permission to repeat it. (I could never just steal such a tale.)
Sam wasn’t always a programmer—actually he started in his later teens, in part because he was more of a jock, and in part because he was related to programmers and wanted to do his own thing. But, like all great programmers, once he was bitten by the bug he immersed himself completely in it.
One day Sam happened to be talking programming with his uncle, who was also a programmer but from way, way back.
“Hey,” said Sam, “I’m learning this language called C. You must know a lot of languages, did you ever study C?”
“No,” said the uncle, to Sam’s surprise. “I am one of the very few programmers who never had to learn C.”
“Because I wrote it.”
Oh, Sam’s last name is Ritchie.
What I love about this story is the idea of Dennis waiting Sam’s entire life to deliver this zinger. Just imagine sitting on a line that good, watching your nephew grow up and waiting, waiting until the one day he finally starts learning to code. Did he work on the line in his head at night? Like, “Hmm, how should I word it so I can deliver the punch line perfectly? Should I say ‘I never took a class on C?’ Nah, too awkward…”
The great thing about geniuses is how much effort they put into everything.
Courtesy : Wil Shiply.5 -
Scrolling on Medium I came across this article, about a girl dating a programmer.. 😂😂 😂
https://hackernoon.com/dating-a-pro...23 -
You notice that you're a programmer when you automatically put a semicolon behind a closing bracket in an email instead of a dot.4
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Hunted a bug for 8 hours, thinking it was a problem in my code....
Found out it was someone else's code generator that injected the bug...
Contacted the concerned dev... Had to convince him for another 3 hours that it was his change to the code that caused the issue. He is still sure that his change can't break the code...... What the fuck are you..? A fucking God programmer who never makes mistakes??
I mean how hard is it to just accept when I just proved it to you??6 -
So... I was watching this ad of this University offering a software course... Can you notice something weird about the code? Hahaha
The subtitles say: "I'm a Programmer"
7 -
1. Decide to learn optimisation algorithms
2. Realise that you have forgotten calculus
3. Decide to learn from the beginning
4. Search for tutorials
5. Go through the introduction parts
6. You know that you can't complete
7. You watch other entertainment things on YouTube.
Stories of a lazy programmer...12 -
One of my friend's was watching me code. When I got an error, this is what he said.
"You got a big error, so you must be a bad programmer"6 -
So I work for this European startup and we are hiring new members. Few days ago a CV arrived from a guy who applied for a full stack dev position. Now You know how a standard CV looks like right? It has a header, education part, list of skills, hobbies etc. - simply said a CV should have a logical structure. Now this guy's CV had no structure at all. The whole document was more like a letter that you would send to a friend or some kind of motivational letter - it looks like this:
"Dear sir or madame, my name is ... and I am ... years old. I am writing to apply for ... I was born in ... and I have 3 siblings. My programming skills include ... When I am not programming I just try to relax and play with my cat ..."
Our HR girl showed that to me and I was like "he must be a genius, i think we should interview him in person". So the guy arrived and at the end he was just an ordinary programmer who just forgot to enclose his CV to an e-mail.
I just wanted to say that some people nowadays think that if somebody is weird then he must be super smart or exceptional. Thus more and more people try to behave this way like nerds/geeks in order to attract that attention. However they had not think of that this behavior is like a double edge sword because people also tend to except more from a "genius"2 -
So apparently I am not a programmer because I turn tea into software. :(
Anyone else feeling discriminated by this definition? :D
11 -
Well, i have a few stories i would like to share with you :)
My neighbour asked me to fix her webcam.
I told her: But I am a programmer, not a repair service .
Next time my neighbour forgot her Skype password. Se asked me to hack it for her.
I told her: But I am a programmer, not a hacker.
My sister asked me to help her out in her program, because of some bug. Well, she is in the other part of the Country. But, i said, lets give it a try.
Well, it turned out to be some kind of mechanical remote scanner, with needed that exact same remote locally.
I told her: But I am a programmer, not a fictional remote signal scanner repairer.
My grandpa asked me, to copy his old gmail emails into his new laptop.
Well, i told him to log in. He logged in. Than i told him: It is done :D
Thanks for reading it :)6 -
So you think it's bad when your friends, family, strangers and others ask you to fix their phone or computer is bad when they hear you're a programmer, IT or good with computers?
You think it's bad when they ask you whether you're hacking when they see code or terminal on your screen?
You think it's bad when they ask you to fix a cracked phone screen because you work with computers?
Well, think again because today my teammate was asked to fix a vending machine by X from another department because, according to X the vending was not accepting X's other dollar bill. The first dollar bill was accepted so why wouldn't it accept the 2nd one? Because the 🤬 dollar bill is crumpled. That's it.
What wows me is what made X think this is an IT issue.
According to X.... "because it has power, lights and touch screen so IT can fix it That's what you guys do, right? You can fix anything".
Me: wait!?, what?, uhhh..., are you serious? Wtf? Why? Grrrr4 -
Why is it so important to some people to claim that "HTML and CSS are not programming languages"? I get it, you're a REAL programmer working with arrays, maybe tuples, objects and possibly direct memory management. Who the fuck has a right to call themselves a programmer for writing some brain dead markup or poorly designed selectors, right? Who fucking cares for semantic tags or nested selectors?
Just think for a few seconds about when you were taking your first baby steps to becoming the GOD ROCKING MEMORY HANDLER THAT WRITES _REAL_ CODE that you are today, and how good it felt to be able to create something that appeared on your screen. It felt pretty awesome, yeah?
Now imagine if someone much more experienced than you told you "You're not a real programmer, that is not real programming. You should see what I do, I do real programming".
I think you get it. Why spend your energy spreading bad vibes when you could spend it on something more productive. Like reading up on the new CSS4 specs ;)18 -
You know you're a programmer when you type git instead of gut (good in German) and autocorrect thinks it's ok...9
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It's easy to multitask these two things.
"Being" a programmer and "being" single.
Trust me, there are no easier ones than these.1 -
By looking at our source code, I see what makes a bad programmer. I see "invalid data" in error logs, guess which of the following 3 conditions caused this:
function somefunc() {
if(condition_1) {
throw "invalid data"
}
if(condition_2) {
throw "invalid data"
}
if(condition_3) {
throw "invalid data"
}
return some_response;
}4 -
You know that you are a Programmer when you do code mentally and when testing it it works at first try
5 -
There are 2 kind of programmer.
The first kind is the kind who love to create useful software/product, they would use the same tool/language/technique over and over again but focus on the use case. They end up having few really good softwares.
The later kind have more tendency about clean code. They are passionate about algorithms and design patterns. They can write a todo list app in 100 of different ways. They often pick up new technology, they rarely have something made coz they feel superior knowing different kinds of framework.
Which one is better software developer? Either one is better than the other, coz it's different pursuit. Like Thomas vs Tesla, we need these 2 kind of people in the industry.3 -
A group of programmers and marketers were traveling to a trade show on a train. Each of the marketers had bought a ticket, but the programmers had only bought one ticket for the lot of them.
One of the programmers was keeping a lookout, and when the conductor neared their car he called out "The conductor's coming!" and all of the programmers piled into the train's lavatory and closed the door. The conductor took the tickets of all of the marketers, and then knocked on the lavatory door and called "Ticket please." The programmers slid their ticket under the door, and the conductor took it and left.
The programmers were laughing at the marketers for the rest of the trip, and the marketers felt like idiots.
On the way back, the marketers decided they would use the same trick and only bought one ticket for them. But this time, the programmers didn't buy a single ticket! Again, one of the programmers kept a lookout for the conductor. When he called "Conductor coming!" all of the programmers piled into one lavatory, and all of the marketers shut themselves into another lavatory.
One programmer came back out of his lavatory, knocked on the other door, and said "Ticket please!" -
!rant
Is it just me or does being a programmer sometimes feel like being a magician. It's such a weird profession. You're living in a bubble, nothing you create is physically tangible, yet anything is possible, and there is always more learn.
Most of the time it's art. Commenting out dead or obsolete code instead of removing it just because it feels like you put a little bit of yourself into it, even though it has no use anymore.
I sometimes wonder if there is any other profession out there that makes you ride the same rollercoaster of satisfaction, frustration, glory and defeat we've all been on.3 -
The senior programmer at work commits so rarely that in 3 months I committed more than him in 3 years (e.g. 0 times in September)...
What’s the point of having a repo on bitbucket if most of the time the latest code version is only on his machine?
And why I have to recreate and repopulate the db every fucking time because he made so many changes to the structure, which of course conflicts with mine?5 -
**noob alert**
Hi all, I'm new to this community. I found it out couple of days back while downloading some apps on play store. And I don't know how much time have I spent here since then... Damm, I've an interview after 2 days.
My query is, I am stuck/confused. I have so many ToDos. ToDos to learn new things, from UI to other langs to machine learning to database to etc etc. And I keep on postponing it because I can't decide which way to go first. There is so much fuzz about BigData/AI which sounds cool. Sometimes I want to build UI for my imaginary idea, then somebody says a man must learn linux and DB. Top of that I'm preparing for interviews, so I think I should get a job first and then start learning. But when I get a job, I get *busy* with job. It feels like Captain America, all he does is official work. I sometimes feel like trying open source coding, but quit the idea because I get scared or overwhelmed by imagining the big community behind it and I won't be able to make a difference or I might get bashed by others as I get bashed in StackOverFlow :-(
I'm unable to get help from friends/family/colleagues, not because they are bad. It's just they don't get it. People think just because you have a job which pays the bills and save money, everything is fine because there are lots of people who dream to get a job, so be thankful for what you have. I'm thankful... But it's not helping. I really want to do things more than what my job asks me to. The kid inside me is awake since I became adult.
Have you been in this condition or is it just me? Or is it too confusing? Could you please help me out. Thanks a lot. Sorry for serious post. I'm a java programmer by the way.9 -
rant.
when you're a programmer surrounded by designer friends, it feels frustrating sometimes.
people appreciate what they do more because they can clearly see the end product: beautifully designed ui, animated splash screens, clean colorful themes. even though it probably does squat other than to print statements.
then they look at your overly simple design and cant see the beautiful underlying code within.
end rant.3 -
An ex of mine broke up with me when I changed my career path to programming. She said she wouldn't want to date with a programmer, I said 'ok bye'.
Guess who has a better career and dated with smarter, nicer, more funny and more attractive people since then 😎9 -
When I am telling non-tech people that I am studying Software Engineering:
They: What do you study at university?
Me: Software Engineering
They: Oh, so you're an engineer! My *some random person* is also an engineer!
Me: No, not that kind of engineer. I am a SOFTWARE engineer. I don't build things.
They: huh?
Me: I write code. Programs. For computers. I a programmer.
They: oh, great, very perspective! Will you fix my *PC/printer/whatever has on/off button on it*?
😶😶😶4 -
So, I told my programmer friend to bring food for us while you are out.
He has still not came, Should I be worried ?2 -
Being a Programmer:
My mom said:
"Honey, please go to the market and buy 1 bottle of milk. If they have eggs, bring 6"
I came back with 6 bottles of milk.
She said: "Why the hell did you buy 6 bottles of milk?"
BECAUSE THEY HAD EGGS!!!!3 -
Someone posted a rant referencing a story out of The Pragmatic Programmer about "duck debugging". I've leveled up with a duck.
3 -
Being an apprentice programmer in a Ludum Dare (Create a game in 72h) that knows more than the official programmer, and have an artist in the group who makes THIS PIECES OF ART!
She didn't even had a computer to work with it, neither she asked for one to the event, so eventually she used mine... And I could not do my work.
Did I mentioned that she used PAINT to color the images?
This is a long, looong story, I'll do the complete version soon...
God.
13 -
Fuck this shit.. I don't fucking know shit about using Facebook or Google+... I'm a fucking programmer, just because I work with computers I don't have to know how you're supposed to go about making your fucking Facebook page...damn this gets on my nerves.1
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I think,
Every programmer when Starts learning programming:-
'I am the one who is gonna lead the world'
But ends up saying:-
'What the fuck I was supposed to do?'🙃4 -
Real programmer facepalm-
When you argue with a shopkeeper for giving you an expired product because it was dated six months back according to you! Then in between the argument, you realize it follows different date format i.e. dd/MM/yy.
The moment was a real facepalm. 😶1 -
Interviewer: "Is studying computer science the best way to prepare to be a programmer?"
Bill Gates: "No, the best way to prepare is to write programs, and to study great programs that other people have written. In my case, I went to the garbage cans at the Computer Science Center and I fished out listings of their operating system." -
When I say "I'm a programmer", Please, don't ask me to install windows for you. It it isn't my full time job.10
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!rant
Is a bachelor's degree worth it?
Context:
Up until yesterday, I was planning on not getting a Bacherlor's degree related to programming. I'm currently an intern and I believe that they'll want to keep me afterwards. Even it they don't, my old boss has a junior developer position opening soon and he asked me if I was interested.
I think I'm a good programmer, but I'm not here to boast, but rather, I want to know your opinion:
Is getting a bachelor's degree in software engineering worth it?
I know this topic is not new and has been asked in many forums, but I noticed a repetitive trend: people who have the degree say it's worth it and people who don't say it's not.
TL;DR:
Is getting a bachelor's degree in software engineering worth it? Why?19 -
What is the condition to join two tables ?
Programmer: primary keys match.
Non-Programmer: The tables height must match.😐1 -
Friend: Is this Nvidia GTX 440 a good graphics card?
Me: idk
Friend: if i get it how do i put it in my computer
Me: idk
Friend: but you are a programmer
Me: exactly, i am not an engineer9 -
Friend: what do you do?
Me: I'm a programmer
Friend: could you fix my computer ?
Me: Kill Me(Thinks). -
As a programmer doing sports, the only thing I think is: Shit, when my MacBook falls down, I will lose 13 unpushed commits.
11 -
Day 3 : without seeing a monitor and programming.
I caught an eye infection and stopped my world and I could literally do nothing but sit tight. I have unfinished tasks but health is imprortant.2 -
Mind of a programmer in an Interview be like:-
Interviewer:- What's your name?
Programmer:- My name is Alice. (In mind printf("my name is %s ",name);)
Interviewer:- Where are you from?
Programmer:- India. (In mind location = &India;)16 -
Alright. This is going to be long and incoherent, so buckle up. This is how I lost my motivation to program or to do anything really.
Japan is apparently experiencing a shortage of skilled IT workers. They are conducting standardized IT skill tests in 7 Asian countries including mine. Very few people apply and fewer actually pass the exam. There are exams of different levels that gives you better roles in the IT industry as you pass them. For example, the level 2 or IT Fundamental Engineering Exam makes you an IT worker, level 3 = capable of working on your own...so on.
I passed level 1 and came in 3rd in my country (there were only 78 examinees lol). Level 2 had 2 parts. The theoretical mcq type exam in the morning and the programming mcq in the afternoon. They questions describe a scenario/problem, gives you code that solves it with some parts blanked out.
I passed the morning exam and not the afternoon. As a programmer I thought I'd be good at the afternoon exam as it involves actual code. Anyway, they give you 2 more chances to pass the afternoon exam, failing that, you'll have to take both of them the next time. Someone who has passed 1 part is called a half-passer and I was one.
A local company funded by both JICA and my government does the selection and training for the Japanese companies. To get in you have to pass a written exam(write code/pseudocode on paper) and pass the final interview in which there are 2 parts - technical interview and general interview.
I went as far as the interview. Didn't do too good in the technical interview. They asked me how would I find the lightest ball from 8 identical balls using a balance only twice. You guys probably already know the solution. I don't have much theoritical knowledge. I know how to write code and solve problems but don't know formal name of the problem or the algorithm.
On to the next interview. I see 2 Japanese interviewers and immediately blurt out konichiwa! The find it funny. Asked me about my education. Say they are very impressed that self taught and working. The local HR guy is not impressed. Asks me why I left university and why never tried again. Goes on about how the dean is his friend and universites are cheap. foryou.jpg
The real part. So they tell me that Japanese companies pay 250000/month, I will have to pay 60% income tax, pay for my own accommodation, food, transportation cost etc. Hella sweet deal. Living in Japan! But I couldn't get in because the visa is only given to engineers. Btw I'm not looking to invade Japan spread my shitskin seed and white genocide the japs. Just wanted to live in another country for a while and learn stuff from them.
I'll admit I am a little salty and probably will remain salty forever. But this made me lose all interest in programming. It's like I don't belong. A dropout like me should be doing something lowly. Maybe I should sell drugs or be a pimp or something.
But sometimes I get this short lived urge to make something brilliant and show them that people like me are capable of doing good things. Fuck, do I have daddy issues?25 -
"You know what really grinds my gears?":
Please stop saying your a coder!!!
Also don't say others are 'coders'…
This irritates me so much...
Sure you write code... Your a programmer not a coder...
Damn horrid term coder! The correct terminology is programmer!22 -
The problem with being a designer and a programmer is that Photoshop and Illustrator is on Windows and I code on Ubuntu.
You have to restart and boot a different OS everytime goddamnit13 -
Travelled for some hours today.
While i was on it i remembered a PDF "The Pragmatic Programmer" resting in my phone.
Opened it and read it until the bus reached the destination.
I entered the bus a complete idiot and upon exit i was half Socrates of programming habits.
Had read some chapters though.
Why didn't i know about it before ? -
!rant
As a programmer I feel that i write instructions for the machine's heartbeat.
Single repetitive pattern to be performed for gazillion number of times.
And all that matters is how that heartbeat goes. As long as this one is fine, the next one should be mostly fine. -
How many hardware problems do you need to change a programmer?
One! It's a light bu... eh... the client makes you responsible for anything anyways.1 -
Being a programmer and had to read scientific papers is the worst. the way they name variables in the pseudocodes making me puke.3
-
A programmer is a person who fixed a problem that you don't know you have in a way you don't understand.
-
"You're a programmer, dammit!" Damian Conway
I'm at a seminar given by Conway right now, so much stuff I wish I had heard before about how to be more productive and how to stay "in the zone" while programming without distractions. If any of you ever gets a chance of following one of his seminars (he also wrote books), it's highly recommended.4 -
Wondering how many of you have ADD/ADHD, diagnosed or not. I've heard people say that many programmers have ADD or ADHD and that it generally makes them a better programmer. I myself have ADD and I feel like it makes me a better programmer, but I have to work harder at paying attention to my wife/social life.24
-
Programmer OAth. Just read on a github repo
0. I will only undertake honest and moral work. I will stand firm against any requirement that exploits or harms people.
1. I will respect the learnings of those programmers who came before me, and share my learnings with those to come.
2. I will remember that programming is art as well as science, and that warmth, empathy and understanding may outweigh a clever algorithm or technical argument.
3. I will not be ashamed to say "I don't know", and I will ask for help when I am stuck.
4. I will respect the privacy of my users, for their information is not disclosed to me that the world may know.
5. I will tread most carefully in matters of life or death. I will be humble and recognize that I will make mistakes.
6. I will remember that I do not write code for computers, but for people.
7. I will consider the possible consequences of my code and actions. I will respect the difficulties of both social and technical problems.
8. I will be diligent and take pride in my work.
9. I will recognize that I can and will be wrong. I will keep an open mind, and listen to others carefully and with respect.4 -
While we mourn this dark future of the internet, let it not hamper International Developer Day!
Happy Day of the Programmer Devrant!
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/...3 -
A non programmer friend sends me this with exitment "Its you! Its you!"
https://youtu.be/9RpwbIN0r2U
friends--1 -
One @burgirghoval asked on a different rant how can one be the best programmer in the world.
My answer is simple. It's by creating a community like @devrant.
Thank you guys for this amazing platform.1 -
working as a freelancer,. one thing my family should learn is that,. no one should ever disturb a programmer on full concentration.3
-
The next level of "but you are a programmer"
Presenting you: the butt hurt format
FRIEND DOES HW
@
MUSIC
@
ASKS YOUR HELP
@
"OK BRO I'LL TRY"
@
WHAT IS *INSERT MUSICAL TERM*
@
"I DON'T KNOW MAN"
@
BUT
@
BUT...
@
BUT YOU ARE A PROGRAMMER AREN'T YOU?8 -
If there is anything worse than a bad, not willing to learn programmer is a so called plugin programmer.
Who only knows how to install plugin over plugin to do a simple task.
Just had to fix something on one websites (wp site, I know, just kill me) where the guy had like 25-30 plugins (some where disabled). And most of them were for adding new widget positions.3 -
Hi I just joined this great Community and here is my thoughts about programming tap "++" if you agree if not then change your mind.
For me programming is like becoming wizard of next generation. Like wizard you can control or create anything because in future you will find electronics containing programs written by a wizard (programmer). We are not people who can repair computer but greater then that because a pc is just a box without programs (software)
You are reading this article because you loves challenges and you are hard working too.1 -
I'm a hobby programmer and i don't hav any programming ideas! How do you all get programming ideas?7
-
How do you identify a programmer with just one question? Ask him to pick a number from 1 to 100.
(Disclaimer: 1% of margin of error).5 -
You might not think that programmers are artists, but programming is an extremely creative profession. It's logic-based creativity.”2
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Thinking about freelancing, any freelancers here who can help me get started?
I have a bit of experience freelancing being a designer but not yet as a programmer. Im currently a student but have made a few programs.
What do you guys think?5 -
"Programming is a craft. At its simplest, it comes down to getting a
computer to do what you want it to do (or what your user wants it to do). As a programmer, you are part listener, part advisor, part interpreter, and part dictator. You try to capture elusive requirements and find a way of expressing them so that a mere machine can do them justice. You try to document your work so that others can understand it, and you try to
engineer your work so that others can build on it. What's more, you try to do all this against the relentless ticking of the project clock. You work small miracles every day.
It's a difficult job. "
- The pragmatic programmer -
"A programmer was arrested for writing unreadable code. He refused to comment."
H/T: (@Mr_Drinksonme)1 -
Listening to rain sound or pleasing sounds while coding helps me think straight and sets a good mood for me to complete a task.Music sets me straight.
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When you impress your peers because you have grown in a year as a programmer. Still there is a long way to go but I feel very confident I can achieve my goals. Any tips for project management and how to grow soft skills. I lack in that area.3
-
What would happen if a programmer and a PM had to cut down a tree...
https://twitter.com/i/moments/...
Wouldn't be so funny if it weren't so true... -
My code worked without any error, now I am sure there is something perky, if not now, then there will be an issue because of this module... Yes, there will be a problem.1
-
somewhere in every spaghetti code there is a mysterious CTRL + C and CTRL + V that just can't explain itself2
-
//Met an old friend
So I heard you're a programmer now. I need some help from you.
*write something on paper
HACK this fb account unless you are a big fat phony.6 -
When you realize you were born when it was 4:04 AM on the clock...
I think I was born to be a programmer... Or maybe not? Am I an error?6 -
As regular as it is, it's pretty hard to be a programmer and a pc gamer at the same time... You need a good easily portable laptop yet you want a powerful rig so you get a gaming laptop and curse yourself everytime you need to get somewhere with it cause it's fairly heavy and also curse yourself when you paid so much yet you can't play on that much of a high config...
The only good alternative is if you're rich enough to get a slim laptop and a powerful desktop at once16 -
Got scolded by teacher for not putting semi colon on the right place😒
I conquered saying that its the mistake that even a professional programmer can do😂2 -
It's a difference between a real programmer and a programmer. One knows how to code and one knows how to google.1
-
Being a programmer it is not easy.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Because you always have null pointer expression!!4 -
Seriously why does Android studio lag so badly.I mean it's beefed up version of a text editor( I love studio for it's innumerous IDE features).It eats away my RAM and you might have guessed it right,I do have 4 GB RAM. The application takes memory that is sometimes more than that of games.3
-
I thought putting up a !ctags -R in .vimrc would help me use ctags in all of my code and I wouldn't have to do it manually but sadly that was a bad decision like.But I didn't know tags that generate to a 220 GB
4 -
Before: why the hell my code isn't running?!! FML 😬
After: How and why the fuck is my code running!! -
#bonfiretalk
Why did you want to become a programmer? Spending alot of my Teenage years on online games I always had a fascination for those 1337 haxxors that just appeared, did some awesome neverseen stuff and sometimes suddenly disappeared, never came back and became urban legends ("I heard h4xor1337 got caught by the FBI"..."I heard he was a CIA Hacker".."He was from Russia").. I started universe, picked some C/C++ Tutorials and 3 years later I am a freelancing Android developer . Today I am Downloading the source code of that old mmorpg (which is still played by alot of people , especially in the private Server scene) to practice my C++ -
So we got this new teacher last year. He is a decent programmer but has never made anything using C#.
When he had to start teaching it to the first year students he wanted to practice.
He made 1 cli program that only used 1 class besides main and that wasn't even used properly.
His words after he was finished: "I'm now a C# expert"
What!? No you're not! Why don't you just take the student course so you know what you have to teach next week!? -
So I have noticed if I think I know much of logic in programming and I can solve this problem better way I actually code better.
And when I think no I'm just a noob programmer I ask stupid question to myself and get my self confidence blown.
Thing is don't think you are bad, think of just you'll put all the experience all the knowledge you got in this program (according to its requirement) -
Yesterday a longtime friend asked me if I finally become a programmer.
Is it really being a programmer looking for solutions on stackoverflow?1 -
!rant
Guys, could you please give me some gift ideas for a programmer? I was thinking about an IntelliJ Idea subscription, but it's too expensive for a present.17 -
So I heard to get a job as a programmer you need a degree in computer science. I looked it up and apparently computer science includes alot of math courses. I'm not good at math and as far as I can see complex math is not needed to be a programmer. Is there any other degree I can take to get a job as a programmer that doesn't require as much math as a computer science degree does?14
-
Suddenly Programmer becoms Doctor so he said to patient :- Your x-Ray showed a broken rib,but we fixed it with photoshop3
-
How good is "The Pragmatic Programmer - by Andy Hunt and Dave Thomas"?
Any positives, to motivate me.2 -
As a programmer I solve my life problems using programming too..
<?php
$problemSolved = “Fuck Life!!!”;
echo $problemSolved;
?>4 -
!rant
I used to use quora for most of my programming related trivia and tips but of late I'm glued to devRant.3 -
Hosted my very first project, developed back in Aug18.
It has been a wonderful journey as a programmer.
Link to my first web development project(I should say web designing cuz it doesn't have any db XD):
https://nitinsautomobilewebsite.herokuapp.com/...
More projects developed by me:
www.github.com/globefire -
Confession:
I've been working as C# programmer for an entire year, and I wrote desktop app as well as win services, but when it comes to practice (cause I moved to PHP about 7 months ago) on Codewars I go completely wrong, and it's even worst on Hackerrank.
Have to admit, feel so dumb and lost2 -
Its just frustrating being a person who learns tech or any other stream from the internet.As much as i love the huge amout of information we have access to, it becomes difficult to sort through the tons of information and learn something.When i was a kid , there was a text book which had concepts which i had to understand to increase my knowledge but now without a proper sylabbus and no single source material i'm consuming everything and i end up re-reading same concept again , except this time its from another book.How do u devs get a proper sylabbus and focus yourself when you are reading about a particular subject?3
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Guys I have to write a CV for school as homework(yep), could you make me one or tell me cool stuff to add to make me look like a super duper crazy programmer?5
-
!rant
Reading The Pragmatic Programmer and Clean Code.
Any other suggestions on books thats not specified to a specific programming language that is worth reading?2 -
It is so frustrating that browsers had to keep the open developer tools as Ctrl+shift + C.I work with a ton of terminals and lot of browser tabs and when I try to copy text , I automatically type Ctrl + shift + C and boom , the developer tools opens up.I know we could change the key bindings but who the hell kept the "open developer tools " shortcut as Ctrl + Shift + C.That is a serious flaw!!! Fucking hate it..
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I'm not doing this for money but what's the average salary of a front-end web developper or a programmer ?
(How much do you earn ?)1
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