- This presentation will show how you can increase your productivity with the new tools that we develop!

Spends the next 50 minutes showing results of VERY specific cases and the last 10 minutes actually describing the tools. Last remarks:

- The tools are now in beta so some features are not yet available.

Thanks?

To all the Ubuntu users... Couldn't install Debian,uh?

jk 😏

Today at lunch we were talking about the bathroom conditions. At some point I commented:

"I don't go to the one closest to my office, the WiFi reception is terrible there."

*dead silence*

I can't be the only one, right? (posting this from the bathroom, BTW)

Wait, what?

All credit to the creator: smbc-comics.com
But yes, this is hell.

I think I do this face more often than I realize.. specially when non technical people start giving me suggestions.

😂😂😂😂😂😂

Not a rant, just a gag I do from time to time. Today a new colleague arrived. He presents himself and after sometime he asks me:
- so how long are you working here?
I look at my watch and say
- oh just about six years now.
They always look so confused 😂

In a test software that I'm working on, there is a variable at the very beginning which has a comment "Don't change this variable!".

Hidden within the code is function to check the value. If the test user change it, a giant ಠ_ಠ appears on the screen.

No one will complain, but I can hear the gasps and the sudden chair movements... 😈

Seriously? There isn't a "no pants" option? Seriously? come on @dfox, we all know how stuff really gets done 😉

today I learn the command...
cd -
little things like this just brights my day.
#justDevThings

That strain that you get on your pinky from stretching it to hit Ctrl and Shift while coding for to long... great feeling.

Starting the day with Management complaining about budget and how R&D spends a lot. I start talking about the form to get a machine to a developer, that requires detailed information about the specs, proper justification, provide price comparison, fields of text which I know their departments will not check or fully comprehend BUT administration type departments always get the latest MacBook when their work literally involves little more than read emails, PDFs, write word documents and not high demanding software tools. R&D colleague suggests that a Raspberry pi would suffice for what administration personal needs out of a PC.
Management didn't comment.

Pro tip: when recompiling code there are no miracles. If garbage goes in, garbage comes out.

Fatal problem in weekly rant 4: Segmentation fault
No further messages available
Core was not dump for reasons unknow

- Hey, have you heard of devRant?
- Look I have been a developer for more than 20 years; new IDEs, editors, languages or whatever that is, appear every week and they all just die. I'm sticking to my guns and nothing you can say can convince me to even look at this devCrap or whatever it is.
- Oooooookay...
#devCrap

Company is about to move. Fellow developer jokes on a general meeting that people should delete stuff on their computer to make then easier to transport.

I'm not sure everyone got the joke....

Pro tip: preserve your job by not documenting it.

Update log: performance improve, API rewritten, fixed all bugs reported, new features implemented, general cleanup of code, documentation and comments update
Feedback: love the new background colour!
😞

You know when somebody complains about a bug in your software at a meeting to everybody, you go to their office, find out that the bug is actually an user problem, and then on the next meeting, when asked about the bug the person reports "we fixed it" and you correct them, explaining in detail how there was nothing to fix because the problem was completely user driven?
I love these moments

Don't you just love it when a department buys a software for the company without consulting IT and Data Management departments? You know to discuss integration, flexibility, compatibility and all that?

Don't you love it even more when the users of this new software then complain about the different tools that have to learn and the workflow being completely scattered?

But hey, they work in administration, so I'm sure they know what they are doing. ⚡⚡⚡

out of curiosity, what phone do you have? 📱

I myself have a One plus one, first generation (w/ cyanogen logo on the back), won via a Python script that I wrote 😎 I also use the TugaPower ROM 🇵🇹

that feeling when you start looking at code after dinner, correct a bug or two, start implementing new features, tweak the code a little bit, you are really focus in your coding... then look out the window and realize the sun is about to come up. it's great 🤓

If you are one of those developers that always complains that you would do it better, complains after decisions are taken, complains for missing features and refuses to actually do something about it...

You are a dick.

ok, advice time!

The best way to learn a language is to set your mind into developing a specific program and then do it in that language.

I have always thought that lazy people make the best developers. If something is too routine/type consuming/redundant, create a program/function/app that takes care of that.

Share your favorite born-out-of-laziness story.

Remember people:

If you never make mistakes, nobody will know what you do in a company.

New feature request:
when viewing just one rant, swipe left/right to go to the previous/next rant. I generally like to read the comments that follow rants, so this would make the navigation quicker.

Yay or nay?

A videogame that I play has an achievement for getting all the achievements.

Has a developer, this just reads as an always false condition.

what type of developers do we have here?

this_kind or thisKind?