Skillsc#, js, ts, sql, html, css
Joined devRant on 7/11/2016
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Remember that old Wyclef Jean song "911"? It got stuck in my head.
Why? My app threw an expection at line 911...
Evidently, I really need to refactor that file...
Whenever I open a project and see a file named "Common", I promise myself to never open it. But, without fail, I have to break that promise every day...
Day before easter holidays, a few years ago. It was evening and almost everyone had gone home. I finished a task, and immediately set off to do the next one, stressed as fuck, as usual. One colleague was left at the office, who asked me to at least eat something before I continued. I said I didn't have time, but after some negotiations sat down at the table, and realized I couldn't physically move the fork to my mouth.
I was having a panic attack. My colleague helped me with breathing excercises, gave me some pills and when I started to calm down a little, I said I'd better go back to work.
"No", she responsed, "we're going to the emergency"
I refused, since I had work to do, but she told me that I needed a person in a white lab coat to tell me that I shouldn't work for a while.
We went. The doctor gave me 3 weeks of sick leave, where I learnt a new word: No.
I thank the universe for not letting me get burnt out. I'm thankful for that amazing colleague.
I now work without stress, doing one thing at a time and saying no when my body says no.11
"Is that a script or a hand job?"
A friend's colleague (who's pretty bad at English) that refers to manually typing in to the console as "a hand job".16
A previous boss forgot to pay us salary in time a few times. When this happened, we spent the time until cash came in (usually around lunch the same day) to just watch YouTube videos and slack around. But the third time, one of the devs decided to step it up and spent the morning printing memes that were put on the boss' desk, along the lines of:
"It's payday. Doesn't pay" (Scumbag Steve)
"One does not simply... Get payed on payday"
Boss was so ashamed. But that was also the last time our salary was late. :)3
At my first job, me and another dev had the same way of thinking and often finished each other's thoughts.
This meant that we never had to fully complete our sentences while we were talking, so the conversations went something like this:
"What if we took that thingy..."
"...and then we could..."
"...so that we fix the..."
"...awesome, cuz then..."
"Nice! Let's do it!"
This totally annoyed the other devs who had no fucking idea what we were talking about!5
I think WPF is like art. It's probably totally amazing, but its beauty is too complex for me to even comprehend.5
When PM runs to you in panic: "Client says startpage is not working!!!"
Me: "The whole thing or just some parts? Any error messages?"
PM: "Client just said startpage. Hurry!"
Me: *checking site. all good. checking site on each server in cluster. all good. clears all caches. all good. tests on mobile. all good.*
Me: "Can't find any problems. Can you ask the client again?"
PM returns later, with a more detailed error description: apparently the error was on another page, but it was linked to from the startpage...
Response from a support desk regarding an issue I've had with their service:
"Our development team has verified that it looks broken. Can you tell us why it's broken?"5
Client (of a recruiting company): "Oh, and we need statistics!"
Me: "Of what? What data is relevant to you and how do you want it presented?"
Client: "Well, you're the developer, you should know. But make it look cool."9