How ironic.

Started a new job this week.

Just learned that my manager strictly prohibits while loops and "if else" statements.

Enki invite code: RETUR242

Limited to 3 people.

The company I work for wants me to create an app to compress "foxit phantompdf" files, so that they are still readable after compression.

(referencing my last rant)

pm: our client wants a proprietary pdf compression app.
me: Okay gimme 3 days and some sample PDFs.
pm: they won't supply any sample PDFs because they contain confidential information.
me: okay fine, I'll download some from the interwebs.

** 3 days later **

me: here is the pdf compression app. all done and works with all of about 100 PDFs we tested with.
pm: okay great I'll have the client take a look.

** half and hour later **

pm: the client said that the compression app errors out.
me: okay I'll go look at the server logs to see what's up.

** 10 seconds later **

me: what the shit is a "foxit phantompdf" file.
pm: it's the proprietary pdf format that they are using.
me: oh joy. I'll go try to find some sample files and see if I can fix it.

** 1 hour later, no sample files found **

pm: got anything?
me: *sobs obnoxiously*

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Sitting through useless Friday meetings thinking "I need a goddamn drink".

I read somewhere that 3 out of every 2 developers suck at math.

Request: Devrant package for atom/sublime.

Just looked at my last rant and realized there is an obvious and annoying typo in it.

Had lunch with my girlfriend today. After we had eaten I was just browsing Devrant and she (without looking at what I was doing) she said "Let's go, you can rant about coding somewhere else".

I hate sharing something that I made and that I think is super cool with my non-dev friends and then they're like "yeah so? doesn't look that hard."

😒😒

Happy sysadmin day everyone!

My coworker (the safety officer of our department) came into my cubicle today and after standing there a few minutes with his phone out, I asked him what he was doing. He responded by saying "I noticed theres a Caterpie in your cubicle. As the safety officer, it is my duty to remove it, as it is causing a tripping hazard". I thanked him and we both went back to what we were doing.

Just finished my first project at my new job. I was supposed to finish in mid August... oops.

In a meeting with my new team I asked if they had a preference between tabs and spaces. None of them cared.

#notrealdevs

First day of a new job.

Just found out that I am locked in to using Internet explorer on an ancient desktop running Windows 7 and I can't download any text editors that I want (atom, sublime, Android studio).

All because they are "security focused".

probably gonna die from smashing my head on the keyboard before the week is over.

Here's what I'm working with.