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What. The. Fuck. Did. Just. Happen.
A random girl followed me on social media. She looked nice and intelligent so I followed her back.
Started to chat about some random stuff. She told me she works at the HR department of an international company and asked me what's my job. Told her I'm a software developer.
Right after that she sent me a selfie. Obviously I said she looks nice, she thanked it and asked some more about my job. After a short discussion I received another selfie but somewhere in between she lost the outer layer of her clothing.
She still looks nice but now I'm sitting here utterly confused and cant tell whether it was my sarcastic humour and moderately handsome facial features which charmed her or she just needs to recruit someone for a new project and willing to do everything to reach the quota.68
Me: *hours of coding, develops a feature*
Code: I'm working..
Me: Oh good.. will monitor you for sometime.
Code: Ok, I'm done. I'll stop working now.
Me: *sits for hours to solve bugs*
And when almost done,
VPN: Someone's having a good day, I'll disconnect you now.
Me: *tries switching on/off VPN couple of times..*
When it starts to connect,
WIFI: Oh wait!! It's my turn to bid goodbye now. Have a nice day sir
Me: Of course !! The wifi
Me: *restarts router/ troubleshoot etc*
When wifi says connected...
Battery: Good job with wifi.. I'm down now..what you gonna do?
Me: Are you fucking kidding me???
Me: *connects charger, wait for laptop to switch on*
Me: *jumps out window*17
Root ain't givin' no fucks no mo'
My boss just demanded that I join a conference call. So, I call in, and there's three other people there.
He starts chewing me out for talking with some vendor directly (their VP emailed me directly and asked for a few things, and i was instructed to make him happy). Apparently I used "confusing wording" and "did not talk his language." Bossman was really getting into gear for a ten-minute berating.
It turns out that the guy in question only read half of my first email, and totally ignored the second email where I told him everything was finished and live and working. I told my boss quite bluntly that the guy should have read what I had written, and that he was an idiot. The boss's defense of the guy? "Well, he's a sales guy." I just laughed at him.
Later, bossman started in on me (once again) for not making enough progress on this ridiculous shared-spreadsheet sales tool he wants, saying "We discussed this a week ago!"
I casually reminded him that we had talked about it for the first time ever on Friday night (today is Tuesday), and he had said it wasn't going to be a priority for the next three weeks(!). Again he stopped in his tracks. Again, I laughed at him.
Guy's a tool and I'm so done with caring.
Root's going to be flippant and angry. Root's going to have fun (:
What's he gonna do, fire me? 😂34
At job interview.
They: What would you describe as your biggest character flaw?
Me: *rolls d8* I pretend not to understand the local language in order to avoid interactions I would rather not have.
Windows, you fucking idiot! You scheduled that damn update and now you have the balls to ask me what happened?!11
I just had a client complaining on the phone that she read my database design documents and that they are all wrong and need to be done again. Because things like varchar and int are confusing. And nobody understands what they mean. She asked around and nobody understood it.
Ooh, and I should place the customer name in more then one table because it would be handy to have in several places.
Spend a hour on the phone trying to explain that these documents are not intended for her. They are not for her to understand.
I make these documents to build a stable product and in case something bad happens to me its easier to pick up for another developer.
Long story short.. I'm currently making a document that explains the database design... Getting paid for it..... But fucking hell. Somebody save me.10
So a friend of Mine asked me to check their Mail server because some emails got lost. Or had a funny signature.
Mails were sent from outlook so ok let's do this.
I go create a dummy account, and send/receive a few emails. All were coming in except one and some had a link appended. The link was randomly generated and was always some kind of referral.
Ok this this let's check the Mail Server.
Let's check the mail header. Nothing.
Face -> wall
Fml I want to cry.
Now I want to search for a pattern and write a script which sends a bunch of mails on my laptop.
Fuck this : no WLAN and no LAN Ports available. Fine let's hotspot the phone and send a few fucking mails.
Guess what? Fucking cockmagic, no funny mails appear!
At that moment I went out and was like chainsmoking 5 cigarettes.
It hit me! A feeling like a unicorn vomiting rainbows all over my face.
I go check their firewall. Shit redirected all email ports from within the network to another server.
Yay nobody got credentials because nobody new it existed. Damn boy.
Hook on to the hostmachine power down the vm, start and hack yourself a root account before shit boots. Luckily I just forgot the credentials to a testvm some time ago so I know that shit. Lesson learned: fucking learn from your mistakes, might be useful sometimes!
Ok fucker what in the world are you doing.
Do some terminal magic and see that it listens on the email ports.
Holy cockriders of the galaxy.
Turns out their former it guy made a script which caught all mails from the server and injected all kind of bullshit and then sent them to real Webserver. And the reason why some mails weren't received was said guy was too dumb to implement Unicode and some mails just broke his script.
That fucker even implented an API to pull all those bullshit refs.
I know your name "Matthias" and I know where you live and what you've done... And to fuck you back for that misery I took your accounts and since you used the same fucking password for everything I took your mail, Facebook and steam account too.
Git gut shithead! You better get a lawyer16
TL;DR: Teacher wants to invest in my company 😲
So, just this morning as I headed to class (still in school, 17 years old, from Germany) someone tapped me from behind - a female teacher whom I've only seen a few times (She is a really nice and friendly teacher who teaches economics)
She asked me: Aren't you the young businessman? I've seen your interview, fantastic! (Background info: I recently founded my second firm (Webdevelopment, Design and Marketing) and was quite often in the media (local newspaper, television, radio))
Quite unsure, I responded: "yeah, right".
Promptly she asked: "Is there some way I can invest in your company? Perhaps in stocks?" (Of course we can't offer stocks, we're just a small local company lol)
Me: "There always is a way I guess?" (I was extremely grateful but didn't know how to respond)
Her: "Great! Would you mind sending me an email with your contact info?"
What the fuck just happened. 😂17
Me: good morning, what can I help you with?
Client: I THINK REMOVED SOMETHING AND NOW ALL MY EMAIL IS GONE. HELP.
M: okay sir, do you have the domain for m....
C: HEY WAIT IT'S BACK NEVER MIND THANKS BYE
M: Oh tha....
So at school the teacher gave us a MONTH to write a sorting algorithm in Java. I asked the teacher if that wasn't a little too much time.
Her answer:" I want to give the weaker people in class a chance."
Okay so far so good.
The day we had to turn in our code I asked around what algorithm others had choosen and if they had any problems with it.
Classmate A: "yeah we didn't know how to program it so we copied it from the internet and I modified it heavily."
Me *raised eyebrows*: "can you show me?"
Me: "but that's exactly the same like the first Google result?!"
A:"No look there , I added this line so that it works with my code"
That lying bitch just added bucketSort(myArr, maxVal);
In the main method.
Me"How is that heavily modifying?"
A:"Also I asked the teacher and she said it was OK to copy the method from the internet"
What the flying cunt is wrong with people. So you give us a month to copy and paste from the internet.
Yeah great teaching.
You are the reason why half the class can't program shit.
Thanks for nothing. 😒😒
First rant hope you enjoyed it.12
Boss: I need to know how much resources a server would need to serve 20000 users at the same time
Me: Sure, can I see the webapp?
B: There's not one yet
M: Ok, can I see its documentation then?
B: There is none
M: But ot depends on the programming language, libraries used, what kin-
B: It's an e-commerce. Try browsing Amazon and see how much they nees to handle the page requests.
Me: *still processing* wh-
Boss: I have to give an estimate to a client within 30 minutes. Hurry.
So.... Uh... I guess i have to hack Amazon now?7
After it was revealed that the Equifax hack was even bigger yet again, the US government said something that really made me say/think something in the trend of "WHAT the actual FUCK?!"
"This data is in the hands of cyber criminals anyways".
You run the biggest mass surveillance program in the world, sucking up more than a million terabytes every hour, then at least could you PRETEND to care/take interest when the personal data of about all your citizens appears on the Internet?!
Me : hey, why have you taped out your webcam ?
Him : shhhh, they are watching.
Me : what ?
Him : what ?16
TABLE BASED WEB DESIGN
I was surprised there were no rants about this topic before I realized it was more than a decade back 😳
We've never had it better! So to help add a little perspective for all those ranting about what is unarguably the golden age for web developers... let me fill you in on web dev in the late 90's;
HTML was simple and purely a markup language (with the exception of the marquee tag). The tags were basically just p,ul,ol,h*,form inputs,img and table and html took 10 minutes to learn. Any style was inline and equally crude - anything that wasn't crude could not be trusted and probably wouldn't render at all in most browsers (never mind render correctly).
There were rumors of a style TAG and something called a cascading style sheet which were received with much skepticism since it went against the old ways and any time saved would be lost writing multiple [IE version specific] style sheets for each browser just to get it to work - so we simply didn't.
No CSS meant the only tags you had to work with to create a structured layout were br, hr and table... so naturally EVERYTHING was in nested tables! JS callback hell can't touch this! - it was not uncommon to have 50+ nested tables all with inline style in a single page which would be edited without any dev tools or linting.
You would spend 30 minutes scanning td tags until your eyes bled to find something, make a change, ftp the file to the server, reload the web page and then spend 10 minutes staring at the devastation on your screen convinced you broke
the internet before spotting an un-closed td tag with your bloodshot eyes.
Tables were not just a silver bullet - they were the ONLY bullet and were in the wild west!
Q: Want an inline form or to align your inputs left?
A: Duh table!
Q: Want a border with round-corners, a shadow or blur?
A: That's easy! Your gonna want to put that table in the center cell of another table then crop a image of the border into 6 smaller images to put in the surrounding cells... oh and then spend 10 minutes fucking with mystical attributes like cell-padding and valign to get them flush.
...But hey at least on the bright-side vertically & horizontally centering stuff was a breeze!23
I am bloody sick of being on my own.
I was the sole dev at the last few jobs I've held, with the exception of API Guy -- who didn't really help much, and who got fired / quit six months after I started. Every other job I've either been the only dev, or the only web dev. (Exception:My boss at my previous job was a Rails dev, but he has zero time to code, and was significantly less experiened so he could only rarely help anyway.)
But now I'm in a company with a bunch of other devs, and they're all ostensibly senior devs, so you'd think I should be able to ask questions, right? And get answers? that actually help? like "Hey, you built this; how does it work?" No bloody way.
So far every time I've asked someone for help, they've been incompetent. I asked about what a few flags did, and got an answer that basically said "you just gotta know. oh, and the labels aren't up to date, so don't trust what they say." I asked the head of the "product team" about a ticket that he wrote, and he changed what it meant four times within two days. I asked about another, and he said "oh, that isn't reproduceable." Thanks. I asked about mailers, and got two very different, very incompete walkthroughs from the more senior devs (9+ years on this codebase) that didn't help. I asked two people about how users and roles work, and still have no idea what kind of user (there are like twelve?) is what, what roles even exist, or how to check for permissions. `@current_user` is a thing, but idfk what it holds since that can change considerably, and there's an impersonation feature that changes how it works, too. I ask the product guy again about where to link something, and he has no idea. I ask said product guy about what this feature needs to do, and he doesn't know. I ask what the legal team needs, and i get nothing. I ask the designer where the goddamn CSS lives, and he doesn't know; he apparently just puts it wherever he feels like, even if it's a completely unrelated stylesheet. As long as it works, right?
I ask very simple and straighforward questions, and it takes them forever to get back to me saying what amounts to "idk, ask someone else."
This feels like the same crap all over again, except now there are a bunch of devs I can ask that give me basically the same answers as the sales people always did. Always "idk" or a confusing mess of an 'answer' that skips most/all of the important bits. At least these people don't [usually] contradict themselves.
So, @Root is all alone, again.
And currounded by incompetence.
For fuck's sake.
Can't I catch a break?22
!rant but a story
This happened today. Sorry for long post. A manager from another team in development team, I'll call him junkfellow, called me very very late last night to help them solve an issue in our application's test environment that blocking them from doing testing. They apparently doing integration testing with our application. Now said test environment is not even prepared by our team. We are development team and this test environment prepared by our application's support team. So I politely told junkfellow to get in touch with our support team counterpart as I am from development team. And he began shout at me
junkfellow: "WHY DO YOU THINK I'M FUCKING CALL YOU? IT'S BECAUSE I CAN'T FUCKING REACH ANYONE FROM SUPPORT!"
me: "With due respects sir I have no instructions to assist you and your team in your testing"
junkfellow: "THEN WHAT GOOD ARE YOU? IF YOU DON"T GET ONLINE NOW I WILL FUCKING ESCALATE YOU TO CW!!!"
We all know who CW is and he can make some people life very hard and I didn't want to call my boss so late so I quickly went online and spent the next 4hrs supporting their testing. Next morning I told my boss what happened and he scolded me for not calling him last night. He dropped an email to junkfellow's boss about junkfellow being "unacceptable attitude, disrespectful and threatening to escalate my team mates". My boss always refer to us as team mates, not his staff or his team member.
Then in few minutes, someone walking like a school bully with his chest out came to my boss place and announced himself (he is junkfellow). I say announce because he talking like he wanted everyone to know who is he. My boss stood up promptly, greeted good morning, introduce himself, shook junkfellow hand and sat down. Still young, maybe in late 20's or even younger than me. junkfellow talking to my boss loud enough for most of us to hear. Everyone's neck suddenly long like meerkat and listening:
junkfellow looking down to my boss who is sitting down: "How dare you send email like that to my boss? We are both managers you should act like one, you have a problem with me then you talk to me. You don't bypass me and go directly to my boss. You didn't even give me face!"
my boss sitting down: "So you didn't even ask your boss before picking a fight."
*junkfellow suddenly look confused*
my boss still sitting down talking calm with poker face: "I did give you face. You think by going to your boss I bypassed you and went one level up? No I went one level down!"
junkfellow still look confused and then slowly realized what my boss meant. Now he is staring at floor and can't look my boss in eye after he realized he is screwed!
my boss now standing up: "You treat my team mates like that againi or ask them to do something without my knowledge and I will talk to your boss' boss about it"
boss to me: "Hey tollywood! junkfellow here sincerely regrets what he did last night and wants to apologize to you in person" and boss' poker face turned to his familiar smirk
junkfellow immediately came to me, said "it's ok you no need to stand up", he sat down in a squat and apologized repeatedly. He really looked like he was about to cry and for a moment I pity him. But then I remember what he did and I just enjoyed the moment! Was pure gold :D :D :D13
Someone at work trying to impress me: I recently got a really nice PC! It runs Microsoft 10 and has an i5 graphics card and a high performance case!
When you're hard at work on an algo but forgot to take your ADHD medicine so the squirrels are fighting outside but need to check Facebook statuses and having a dance party to Cotton Eyed Joe is a great coworker on LinkedIn which is now coded in Ember JS is weird compared to Python and my pencil is a funny color and my keyboard is shiny. I forgot the punchline. I'm gonna have a bowl of cereal. What was I doing?8
So what do you do for a living?
- I fix shit. While i do that, i break some other shit and then i fix that shit.2
I have to share because I'm so confused at the moment. After troubleshooting for months trying to figure out why my laptop would randomly go into sleep mode, as I was typing. (Imagine my frustrations working on exam projects to have the screen just go black on me every 30 seconds.)
Today I found a post on the Dell forums by another person with the same problem. Apparently a magnetic closure on my bracelet triggered a sensor to think I had shut the lid on my laptop. What. The. Fuck. Guess that explains why it would only happen sometimes, as I don't wear this bracelet often 🙃🔫 definitely the funniest and weirdest problem I've ever had with a laptop.12
Root rents an office.
Good thing I don't work for a company that handles sensitive data! /s But at least I don't have access to it, or any creds that matter.
So, I've been running my phone's connection through a tor vpn and sharing that with my lappy. It works, provides a little bit of security, but it's slow as crap. GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER, REGUS.
AND WHILE YOU'RE AT IT, CLEAN THE SHIT OUT OF THE FUCKING BATHROOM FFS.
Ugh. $12/day to work in a freaking wind tunnel (thanks, a/c; you're loud as fuck and barely work), hear other people's phone conversations through two freaking walls, pee in a bathroom that perpetually smells like diarrhea, and allow anyone and everyone within a 50+ meter radius to listen to everything my computer says.
Oh, they also 'forgot' to furnish my office, like they promised. Three freaking times. At least I have a table and chair. 🙄
Desk? What desk?
Okay so about a year ago these FUKKING IDIOTS decides, against my recommendation, to do this quick-ugly-hack and ninja it into production.
I tell them its a FUCKING BAD idea that will blow up in a year or so...
But no, just go go go!!!!!!!
Now a year later, shit blew up badly. A total FUCKING derail. These new idiots asks me to "fix the problem", the same fucking problem I predicted and warned them about a year ago. So now i have to clean up their ducking mess because "Nobody else knows how to fix it".
What the FUCKING HELL do we pay them fuckkkers to do?!!
New idiots you ask? Yep, because 3 out of the 4 original fucktards already left the place in order to go and make some other new collegues lives fucking miserable.
FUCK YOU FUCKING MOOTHERFUUUKKKEEERRRRRSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!2
I now know another person's password without even wanting to.
He was sitting in the row in front of me, logging into our course page and then *brrrrraaaaapppp* - ran his index finger along the top number row and hit enter.
I don't even know what to say.13
OMFG it happened again. I'm always very explicit with recruiters that I don't take full time employment while I'm studying. This one was very understanding about it and said he found a great match for my skillset.
I just had a meeting with the CEO of this great match of a company.
- "No, we only seek people who can work full time, let's keep in touch when you've graduated".
What the fuck, way to waste everyones time.10
I find it funny to see how people very often go into defense mode (of those companies) when I call them (a select amount of companies) mass surveillance companies.
I mean, when you search for the definition of a surveillance compatible (or, surveillance) and see what those companies (Google, Microsoft, Facebook, Twitter, AOL, Yahoo, Paltalk), it outright matches that of (a) surveillance company/companies.
Then, when you look at the scale they perform this at (mass scale, mass amount of people/users), it fits the definition of a mass surveillance company...
No matter how you turn it, those companies are, per definition, (mass) surveillance companies (apart from the fact that they're integrated within worlds biggest created government powered mass surveillance program ever).3
We found out today that one of our customers uses our cloud software through a remote desktop with IE on Windows XP. What the fuck? They are a multinational corporation with God knows how much revenue a year, and they still use XP???
We found out because logging in didn't work anymore for them, so they sent a screenshot. 😶7
Every single time I try to find a solution to a problem I'm having....
Who were you? What did you see?4
> le server suddenly stops working, no boot, no POST, no beeps, no video
*le frantic cursing on how perhaps that's why the fucking thing was only €60 🤬*
*takes out RAM*
> le server still not booting
*places RAM back without doing anything else*
> le server boots up again
Is this what they mean with things like "compile it again and somehow the compiler will not complain anymore after a while"?17
Someone call a dev, this website is sick!
I'm talking about the website of the German train company (Deutsche Bahn).
Their ticket information and selling module has not being feeling well for a couple of days now.
- error 500 pages when trying to find a connection through their search
- not being able to book tickets
- being able to book tickets, but receiving them twice
- being charged twice for one ticket
- not being able to download tickets you bought
Suggested treatment: If you were charged too much, you have to send them a letter by postal mail to get your money back.
Or buy a ticket directly at the train station.
What year is this? 🤔😐7
Y'know what I can't understand? People who knock and literally immediately come in. THEN WHATS THE FUCKING POINT OF KNOCKING9
Me when typing in dark on my non-backlit keyboard:
"Hiw tp di tjid tjing "
Me when typing in light on my non-backlit keyboard WITHOUT LOOKING AT IT:
"How to do this thing "
I mean what the fuck mr.brain !!12
Just wow. I am amazed by what just happened.
A year ago my parents decided to switch from desktop to laptop for convenience. Knowing their needs, i bought them one without an OS and installed Ubuntu 16.04 on it. The thing is that if you do a regular maintenance of the laptop once a year at their partner company, you get additional 4 years of warranty (this offer is amazing).
So today was the day I brought the laptop for this maintenance for the first time. They make you a profile on their support website where you can track shit regarding your device, super convenient. First thing I notice that the login page was not https. Awkward, but there is no sensitive data here so i let it pass. Naturally i forgot my password, so I requested a new one and guess what? I recieved it in plaintext via mail. A tech repair oriented company does this, my god.
I went there, gave them the laptop in question and got a piece of paper, where they wrote that the laptop is in their hands now, and the current physical state of the laptop, and blabla.
I got home and I read what the guy wrote among other things: THE OPERATING SYSTEM IS NOT LEGAL.
How the fuck is Ubuntu not legal??? What the fuck is this shit? I sure as hell didn't torrent it or bought a booteged copy on the streets.12
A story about an Android TVbox which decided to become an iPad
Several years ago we've bought an android tv-box.
It served me and my family well for several years.
Specs are not that important in this story, but there they are:
Amlogic quadcore 1.4HGz
This device served us well - online TV, browsing, music, file sharing and so on. But recently cheap Chinese memory deciteed to take a break and damaged ROM. Because of that device won't boot. The only option was to take it apart and "short circuit" certain legs on memory chip and make it boot from SD card and install new firmware. After such operations tv-box worked well again.
Hoverer, memory glitched again and again and this algorithm was repeated for several months.
But that is not what is this story about.
One day memory went completely crazy and there was no way to install new firmware on it. It just hanged on install. (BTW, it was official firmware for this device)
But after countless attempts it finally worked! It installed the firmware and booted into launcher and connected to WiFi!
But now comes the most interesting part.
It was not android anymore.
It decided to became an iPad.
My dad logged in to his Google account via tv-box and got mail that someboby connected from our IP via iPad (we don't have an iPad) and using safari browser! Stock browser is not safari browser.....
"Ok, nvm, crazy glitch." - we thought.
But preinstalled play marked wont launch. Because he told us, that we're trying to connect from iPad.
And Google chrome page suggested to download chrome for iPad
And everything was acting like it is an iPad.
OK, downloaded iTunes, why not??? ._.
Tried to install elixir for android via apk from flash, but then memory glitched one more time, everything went black and tv-box had damaged ROM again...
After that we decided to not torment it anymore...
That's it. Poor Android TVbox that all his life dreamed to become an iPad. Rest in peace.2
My mentor is a GOD. He's a workaholic. He knows everything. The only fucking thing he doesn't know is that his MENTEES ARE NOT HIS FUCKING SLAVES.3
teaching myself pointers right now
here is my learning process right now:
1. what even is this
2. wow this is neat
3. why does this even exist
4. what even is this
Oh my fucking god... I am looking at this code written by a previous developer and he put the passwords in plain in an array in a PHP file, like WHAT WHERE YOU THINKING? (btw that's also how he checks the password, just check whether it's in the array)
Just set a cron on a coworkers machine to play "What does the fox say" at max volume at 8 when he's the only one here.
May need to review the security footage in the morning.2
Our PM is on vacation. And our CTO/CEO takes control of the PM role.
So today he decided it was time to just start a customer change request. Regardless of the customer not having approved the actual solution and estimate.
He just said that he did not want to waste any more time talking to the customer. Now they are gonna get what ever he thinks they want.
I predict this to backfire in a fabulous way. What could possible go wrong🤔4
Disclaimer: searching for a self hosted Spotify alternative but haven't found one yet so suggestions are very welcome!
I really don't get how spotify's music algorithms or whatever the fuck you'd call those (you get what I mean) work.
- Whenever I click on the button which should make a song not appear in my daily mix anymore, I hear it again within a fucking day.
- how the fuck does the getting you new songs which you might like work?! I'm a huge rawstyle fan and mostly listen to, surprise surprise, rawstyle.
Then why in the living fuck keeps Spotify coming up with euphoric/melodic hardstyle tracks?! I like those sometimes but only *sometimes*.
More and more often I have to skip through 20-30+ songs to get one raw song instead of a fucking euphoric one.
Replies from their support are non existent.
It's getting so fucking annoying.21
Dad: [this company] is coming to town soon.
Me: I know
Dad: yeah maybe you can get a IT job
Me: I dont do IT
Dad: You never know what you do until you do it.
Me: *getting an aneurism from sheer ignorance*
I DO IT EVERY DAY HOW WOULD I NOT KNOW WHAT IM DOING THAT I EVEN WENT TO SCHOOL FOR?17
Got a new job this week with a huge raise at an awesome new company! It's wonderful being paid what you're worth! Now if the current company can just fire me so I can have a two week vacation, that'd be great.11
Tutorials on the Internet.
They say you have to enter a 12 Character long hexadecimal number.
AND THEN THEY PUT A "G" IN THERE?
WHAT? ARE YOU STUPID OR SOMETHING?3
I don't go to the doctor and tell him what tools to use. I was just told to delete the .scss files because they were taking up too much room and to put all partials and images at root instead of in descriptive folders.3
Boss: Hey, want a job?
Me: No, i don't feel qualified or comfortable to do your job, it's best for you to hire someone else.
Boss: It's fine you'll have time to learn!
Me: Fine, i guess it's a good opportunity.
Boss: Very well, would you work with this database that is what holds our company together and also work with other people's credit card information, oh by yourself of course.
Me: I don't feel comfortable working with that, but i can link your site to your database, since it's something you wanted.
Boss: Well that's ok, you start next week.
~Middle of next week, had a reunion to talk about making the site from the start, using none of the old site (which runs with Joomla!).
me: I can use a ready HTML template to speed things up (i'm a beginner, and i have experience only with backend), and editing it is easy ~showed them the models i've made.
random employee: I have the design of the site all ready, you'll only need to code.
me: Ok, in which format it is? Did you use a IDE or something?
ramdom employee: It's on .psd, i made it on Photoshop.
me: ok... so i'll have to write down all the frontend?
random employee: yes you'll only have to code.
me: Ok, so we'll need to write down our priorities.
Boss comes up with never once discussed feature, and asks me to take care both of their database system (which, as stated by him: "If that systems fail our whole business is gone") and the site, all by myself, and asks how much time for the site to be ready.
me: If i get it online with only a few features and updates it as times goes by... i say maybe 2 months.
Boss: What, all that time?
EXCUSE MOI WHAT THE FUCK
I know how important a first job is, but they're going to pay me R$5.4/hour (1.4U$/H), and i have NO TEAM! How would that even count as experience, without teamwork? or git? and for god's sake they want me to do and take care of everything! They didn't even let me start working at all, since even the reunions is just me explaining how everything works.
I'm sick of it already, but i keep telling myself i can't lose the opportunity. I'M GOING TO BLOW UP!20
What manner of imbecile writes a password reset function that passes the email and password as god damn query parameters, in the email link....1
I have a VPS for under a year from Digital Ocean. No idea what to do with it.
Debian 8.9 x64
A spare domain from Namecheap
Me: So, tell me more about what you want me to code.
Friend: Well... Do something nice.
Friend: I don't know, I thought you're the expert...
Me: You motherf...1
*finishes university exams*
*gets to code after a long time*
*cannot remember what the code does that was written a few weeks back*
What. The. Actual. Fuck.
My co-workers just tried to convince me that the following is a secure password:
Just... I mean... Why? *sigh*
Their argumentation is based on the new NIST guidelines.
If they've read these guidelines CAREFULLY though... (not only the appendix) it actually states "Don't use words from the dictionary". Passwords like these should even be rejected right away.15
Friend: Hey, so what do you do?
Me: I build backend systems and apis. I work with java/mongodb. I dable into some elixir and kotlin on my free time.
Friend: Cool, can you build me an Android app?11
Me : *writes a clean class to write logs into event viewer with different categories, and useful information for debug*
Boss: “I’m not a developer but I think that’s useless, just create a log table on a sql server and put everything there.”
I’m asking myself what keeps me here. What, the holy Christ’s butthole fuck, keeps me fucking glued to this chair.8
I enjoy listening to Metalcore while coding. It really helps me calm down and focus/concentrate (the irony of that whilst having someone scream right into my ears 😂). It also helps me chill and regulate my emotions better. Am I weird? What helps you focus and code better?32
GUYS I HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT TO MAKE:
Apparently Windows Explorer is an internet browser and a lot of websites only work on it
I fucking hate this dude, he CLEARLY doesn't know what he's talking about9
What if we were the AI created by God to automate repetitive tasks and now we are making AI to automate those repetitive tasks and this goes on and on until the world gets a stack overflow.9
The FCC Chairman is going ahead with his plan to repeal net neutrality despite objections from fellow commissioners, the CTO, more than a hundred members of Congress, senators and of course, the people.
What the fuck is wrong with this guy? How far up your own fucking ass does your head have to be to ignore basically everyone's vote against you? What the fuck. This guy is a really piece of fucking work. I hope this bounces back to bite him in the ass real hard.27
Hey guys I just installed Arch Linux and a desktop environment, I don't know what to do with my life now...10
Asked my boss what a public and private key is. His response?
Boss: A private key is the key to your house and a public key is a key to the toilets.3
So I've got this raspberry pi 3 and no inspiration what to use it for.. and it bugs me, just sitting there taunting me: -"you aren't very creative are you?" So.. ideas and suggestions?22
What if devRant made this app just to see how to improve their own company without looking like shit?1
Coworker: We you have to estimate these tasks.
Me (thinking): This task should take one day, but I'll add 4 hours in case something unexpected happens again.
* Estimates 12h
Coworker: Alright, the tasks for this sprint have been selected. Please start to work on them.
Me: * Starts working on certain task
* Sees time available for task
2d 4h (=20h)
* Writes coworker
Dude, that much time is overkill for that task!
Coworker: Yeah, the client said something similar.
Me: Then why did you estimate it that high?
Me: Ok, what am I gonna do with all that extra time? 😑
Around 4 hours in and almost done. What should I do with that extra time?
Task in question: Add a mutually exclusive field to a database table, add it to the form, test it and update the docs.
Enjoy the unrelated, clickbait cat15
Back then, whatever finished tasks I have done, our CTO always contradicts my idea and finds a way to humiliate me. I don't get the point why he did that. Probably, he didn't want me to excel at something or he really does have crab mentality. I already reported this issue to our CEO because I was being harassed and submitted my resignation letter.
And boom! Guess what? It looks like our CTO just stepped a chicken manure and treats me nicely like a princess.
P.S. To be honest, it took him like a couple of months to step down and act normal like nothing happened. Really appreaciated the A-ffort, though!10
Client: How many for basic website?
Me: this much $$$
Client email to a partner: I got the better option/price for our global multilingual multi cloud e-commerce native webapp social network for Android and iOS .
Me: wait! What?2
Told juniors about coding guidelines that don't put another if-else just to fix a bug. Think through about it and see if you can come up with better solutions.
Today one bug was filed, they asked what happened, one junior said that he [my name] asked me for no if-else in code. He kinda deleted all if-else in codebase and started using same implementation for everything.
I'm standing with a WTF face.
Teacher requests help with projector. I go to the classroom.
Me: What seems to be the problem?
Teacher: Yes, I just can’t get this projector to show image from the computer! I’ve hit every single button on the remote!
Me: .. The computer isn’t on?
Me: There is no power on the computer? Have you turned it on?
Teacher: .. What?
I thought maybe she had accidentally shutdown the PC, but no. She had just walked to the classroom and just turned on the projector.. Didn’t even touch the computer..
Heard the students snickering when I left the classroom.1
Started a new job this week.
Just learned that my manager strictly prohibits while loops and "if else" statements.23
I had the weirdest dream. Michael Cera was a developer I was working with. I had a meeting with him and discovered that he spoke 3 different Indian languages fluently.9
Was just told by a guy in my class proudly, “yeah, I’m pretty good at typing. It comes in handy for when I code stuff in class.” Awesome, that’s cool. I ask what he’s doing in the class. “We learned Scratch last semester and now we’re starting Java.” -______-6
So I have a chrome extension, and someone reviewed it. At first she gave me one star, and wrote "extension is not working, bad UI, not good!" And ten minutes later, she gave me five stars and wrote "good extension, good features, working fine, good UI, loved it".
I saw this a week after, and I wonder: what happened in these ten minutes?6
I'm working on a ticket that touches a lot of areas of the codebase, and impacts everything that creates a ... really common kind of object.
This means changes throughout the codebase and lots of failing specs. Ofc sometimes the code needs changing, and sometimes the specs do. it's tedious.
What makes this incredibly challenging is that different specs fail depend on how i run them. If I use Jenkins, i'm currently at 160 failing tests. If I run the same specs from the terminal, Iget 132. If I run them from RubyMine... well, I can't run them all at once because RubyMine sucks, but I'm guessing it's around 90 failures based on spot-checking some of the files.
But seriously, how can I determine what "fixed" even means if the issues arbitrarily pass or fail in different environments? I don't even know how cli and rubymine *can* differ, if I'm being honest.
I asked my boss about this and he said he's never seen the issue in the ten years he's worked there. so now i'm doubly confused.
Update: I used a copy of his db (the same one Jenkins is using), and now rspec reports 137 failures from the terminal, and a similar ~90 (again, a guess) from rubymine based on more spot-checking. I am so confused. The db dump has the same structure, and rspec clears the actual data between tests, so wtf is even going on? Maybe the encoding differs? but the failing specs are mostly testing logic?
none of this makes any sense.
i'm so confused.
It feels like i'm being asked to build a machine when the laws of physics change with locality. I can make it work here just fine, but it misbehaves a little at my neighbor's house, and outright explodes at the testing ground.5
I've been wondering what tech will be like in 50 years time,
I can only imagine it will be insane compared to today's tech.
I mean we have only really had 30 solid years or so of computers in people's hands. And the world is.. absolutely different . And really 20 years of internet (when it's been properly mainstream)
If your 20 now you have about a 50-60% chance of being able to see 2070
I think I really want to see that.
I promise I ain't high 🤔6
Just got AWS free subscription, had fun for 30 mins. Now I don't know what to do with it. Can someone give me idea for something to do with it.17
"Never assume that data useless to your application is useless to all others - we are asking it different questions"
Privacy is dead because we could disseminate valuable data from crap if our lives depended on it, discarding simple key values for over analysed crap metrics every time.
Oh, and it's also screwing us over... if your keen know more about getting fucked go take a look at @linux 's rant about the matrix.org hack
So I had to implement something which I didn't know as a part of my internship. What do you think I did?
15 hours worth video lectures in two days :x3
When you face the dilemma of wanting to share devRant with your friends but face giving up your anonymity....also, what if you forget you ranted about them and they find out? Hmmm.....4
Why in the world IT work is so stressful?
I never been like that since I start developing code professionally, 8 years ago.
Since then, I had many health problems due stress, and some were really scaring (heart problem).
I'm trying to adapt to a healthier way of work, but I'm starting to doubt if that is possible.
Work in technology seems cruel and soulless sometimes. The constant pressure to learn new things all the time, to specialize in a lot of skills, simultaneously. The urgency nature of ALL tasks - even a simple form field slightly out of place seems to be an issue of life and death for clients.
Easy and quick communication made some people lost boundaries and respect. Many times I received calls and messages after midnight, about things like elements alignment.
And the worst is when clients blame you about their business problems. If they are not selling well this week, it's fault of the website you did ( which they are using for months now).
This actually happened to me today, first thing in the morning. After I slept just 3h, because I worked until late yesterday (oh yeah many more of these life/death updates).
What happens in this industry? Will this ever be different some day?6
At what point can you say you are a programmer of a language? Is there an exact amount of lines of code carved in stone somewhere? I call myself a Python Programmer because even know I am self tought, I have been working with the language for years and I am very good with it. "Professional" level by some accounts, though I wouldn't go as far to say that myself. I have been working with Java a couple of weeks and it has been going very well, but I wouldn't call myself a Java programmer, but should I? At what point does one pass that line?
Idk.. Just a little shower thought for ya. What do you think?29
"How do we share access to two-factor authentication."
What you mean is "how do we defeat the purpose of multi-factor authentication."4
So this just happened. Some background before I begin: We're understaffed, my desk is in the back of the building, and there's no one really at the front to greet people. No security either...
Guy walks in wearing a flannel jacket (no shirt under it), pajama pants, and sandals. He looks like hell. Explains he was just released from a hospital and his apartment is locked. I let him use my phone to call his sister.
When I talk to his sister, she barely wants to speak with him. Tells me his apartment is locked for a reason and he's not allowed back. I'm just like: "So... what would you have us do for him?" At this point if his sister won't help, I was going to ask him to leave. Oh, and that hospital was a drug rehab.
So it ends with him waiting for a ride, but he ends up napping on the couch in the front of our office. CEO/Owner and his business partner walk right past and say nothing. They go into a meeting. I'm trying to figure out if I ask him to leave, wait outside for his ride... I'm a developer, this isn't my job.
A good 45-60 minutes later, after the guy walked outside and then came back in and laid back down on the couch, he leaves with his ride. Shortly after the owner walks out of his meeting, so I ask him what to do in this situation - more hoping he'd realize the need for more security.
If this story isn't crazy enough, the business partner pipes up - absolutely serious - and says he didn't say anything because he thought the guy was a developer.
So I've learned that we've got extremely low hygiene standards for developers here, with a relaxed dress code and are allowed nap times on the front couch.
Thankfully our CYBER security is better than our PHYSICAL security. :|1
met a client yesterday to discuss about the coming task. After discussion, we agreed that I will develop the API for the system in one month. I did the planning and posted the upcoming tasks in Trello. Today, he told me some of the tasks have been done by his staff and asked me if I can continue the remaining tasks and get it done in one week. Hey, bro, what you want!? it is not what we agreed! do you think i can understand the code that your staff wrote, with poor documentation and structure, in few hours and immediately start working on it, yet deliver everything with high quality? come on...5
An IT guy told me during a phone meeting set up to talk about how he builds these web forms on a dumb CRM for a client of ours that he has been an IT professional for 25 years.
He says he doesn't know much about the codey stuff.
What do IT professionals do again?8
I fucking hate people that talk bad about things they know nothing about.
The best thing that I have learned is to always keep my mind open.
From "Linux sucks because there is no software" to "MacBooks are just for rich morons" to "All Microsoft tech is shit" to "CS degrees are just a bunch of useless math" to "Bing sucks".
Fuck, what do you know?? You never spent 5 minutes to try them or get informed about them. You have your shitty ideas and will keep having them because you don't care about the truth... You only care about your comfort zone.
Yes, Bing sucks. I tried it. Google shows me better results.
iPhone might suck. I don't know. Never had the opportunity to try one for long enough.
Whenever you're throwing shit at something, stop and ask yourself: do I know the whole story?11
My father calls me very worried: hey, do you know your mother's email login username and password? We need it
Me: no? Why would I?
My father: well, she sent it to you on email when she created it, so you'd remember!
I finally got to updating my old laptop when I saw a post about Ubuntu 18.04 being released. What do you guys think of it?8
Before I was unceremoniously laid off by a shit company in which they tried to blame shit on me I was working on a opencv implementation of a proprietary document scanner.
I finished the Android prototype and was working on the ios implementation. It was left unfinished in the ios version because I was building it in swift and obj c to compare code bases.
They launched a shit unfinished Android app of their product without the scanner (they could not add the scanner lels) and have not been able to do shit on the ios version.
I did not give them the Android prototype. There was no binding contract that specified that what I developed was theirs. There is no record of anything.
The scanner? Is still in my phone and I still have the built project in my mac.
Unless them cheap assholes decide to pay another engineer for the opencv implementation, their vbscript php non theory knowing shit lead will have to figure out the required mat obj c swift java cpp code needed to build it.
On any given morning, when I"m not quite sure what to tackle first.... there's always:
sudo apt update
Ahh, now I feel like I did something.
"dude! are you hacking!?"
shutup, haven't had coffee yet.
Part 2 of this rant: https://devrant.com/rants/933393/...
Today I received the source code of the application, it has like four views but guess what, all four views have their controllers in one controller.js file that is about 1400 lines of code.
Also all their data models are in one file,
everything is in one file.
Does anyone know how to make it through that shit :(16
I'm currently working in call center. Making them a management system for agents. I'm the only developer there. No one asks about the progress even the owner doesn't know a thing about softwares. This gives me a freedom to do work when I want and how fast I want. But because of this I don't care anymore about the little things. and I have adopted some bad programming habits during my stay. Should I quit or what?6
Password too long - only the first 8 characters will be used
Does anyone know what the Boolean Pythagorean Triples problem or the Ramsey Theory? I read about it while reading an article on brute reason, a kind of compliment to brute force...8
Hey all... I have a question...
So, I m really burnt out of coding (C++ guy here)... I have always been learning something but never built anything... I really wanna make some game or something but it jst takes soooo long... M really lacking motivation and m soooo through learning stuff for now...
Please suggest what do i do? (Cant change language... I find all others boring... No offense)12
I had a USB WiFi dongle installed and working great. Then someone pulled it out of my computer, without talking to me, so they could use it. I found another in the office...exact same model...plug it in. Drivers don't work. Can't update them. Reinstallation crashes. Try to restart computer, it crashes. Restart computer and now Outlook won't even open. No idea what to do now, but this is going on an hour and counting of no productivity.
WTF Windows? You can't even handle a WiFi dongle right?3
Today I was working on a laptop. I needed to uninstall a program because i had to install the newest version of it. That process usually takes 2 hours, but 3 hours passed and the uninstall was still at 35%. I went on the task manager to see if I could figure out what is running on the laptop, that's when I saw this.... This laptop has been on for 314 days. This cannot be a normal thing to do on a laptop specially when running Windows. Why do this?7
When a client sends you an email with multiple question marks "????" Just because you havent answered an email solely stating "ok thanks" in the past 24 hours.
What am I even supposed to do with that dude?
PS we need to fix some stuff on his wordpress website thingy to which we agreed literally a day ago. First of all do you really expect we magically fixed everything today even or ehm at least try to be friendly instead of just sending a bunch of question marks thank you very much3
Now that the Phone has a custom rom with root, with only a little issue with some split screen nonsense I'm finally ready to use my phone like a normal ph- OH MY GOD WHAT IS THIS? WHERE THE HELL ARE MY BLOBS? WHAT THE FUUCK!?
Good thing that I rooted with Magisk and I could flash the blobs https://forum.xda-developers.com/ap...9
After 2 years in a small company as an all around software developer (started with xamarin for Android/iOS, then Unity, then OpenXML, augmented reality, virtual reality and .Net MVC...yeah all that and lots more) I changed to another company and I'm here 1 month and some days. I am super enthusiastic and I like it here!! They're more specific and professional, exactly what I need at the moment.
What is the problem, you might ask?
I was given some projects, I have done most of the work but now an issue arrived. I did almost everything and now we're waiting for some answers needed before closing the projects. And I get bored. I want to work!! I need to continue the streak! Just give me something and I'll make it happen!! I am boreeed!!
What is wrong with me? Am I buggy or something?2
Long time no rant from me. Sorry guys, has been a tough time for me.
Little background: I'm an apprentice and as such definitely not a fully trained professional. I'm working in a big company with people who have very let's say interesting ideas what I should be able to do.
This whole disaster begins shortly after I started my apprenticeship. I was offered to choose my first little project. "Something from the backlog, not very challenging and a nice beginner one. It's just about a PoC" ok, le me thinks. I choose to make a weather display.
Basic functionality was provided within the next 3 weeks. My direct boss (let's call him Jo) liked it and talked to his boss (Hugo) about it. Hugo was so excited he called our product manager to get my plugin into our software asap and began to think about where else we could use this.
This is where shit went downhill. Hugo told me it was my task to implement it on a totally different platform and to "host it in azure". I don't know much about azure and I never used it. I told him that I'd need time and some kind of sandbox to try and learn how things work. He promised but nothing ever came through. Not even Jo could do something about this.
They told me I should write this asap because "every customer would LOOOOVE this" and I honestly can't think of a way to meet all their requirements without access to our azure system/ sandbox. (There are a lot of requirements)
Am I wrong? Should I be able to do this? I'm a fucking trainee. I don't know everything.9
I don't know if I should cry or laugh...
Our CMS is a CMS as a Service. So, our providers, for me they all suck, everytime they make a development, everything breaks.
Today's flash news?
Well, basically any page containing some user-made dynamic objects are **empty**
But not only on our site, on their whole network of clients that use their CMS. Everything is broken.
They release new features (I should call them bugs rather) every week, and yesterday's update concerned these pages.
And for the record, they don't test. They wait that we come back and complain to see if their shitty development worked or did not.
This CMS is even worse than your first project in HTML - I mean, your first word document on your mama's computer when you were 3.
Seriously. What kind of non-quality is this?8
I see you did this raspberry pi project and this is why we called you in for an interview.
Have you done any projects that's relevant to the company? Because your pi project isn't exactly what we're looking for
I know we advertised back end and front end roles for this position. You would be ideal for the front end position ...but our team is backend and the front end position would be at another office
I am so frustrated with companies like these
Rant time. So, me and a few classmates finally finished and handed in a website for a web development class a few days ago. Before we handed it in, we had a meeting with the professor to discuss what we still needed to do.
Us: Are we missing anything?
Prof: Nope. Looks good. Just make sure you have stylus implemented.
Us: Cool, thanks.
We got our grade back today. We didn't do as great as we'd hope, and here's one of the comments that the professor left us:
"You forgot to implement all of the CRUD operations. -4"
WHAT THE **** IS THAT? We asked you if we were missing anything, and you said no. You reminded us about stylus, which we looked at ONCE in a 13-week class, but you failed to remind us that we needed all of the CRUD ops?2
A new administrative assistant joined the company I work at. I presented myself and told her that I'm doing devops. After a couple of days she sent me a massage asking for my assistance. Very curious of what could that be I approached her workstation, and then she told me her mouse is not working and asked me to fix it.2
So, on Wednesday (2018.2.28) I went to the local buddhist temple for some Zanzen lessons for beginners. Let me just say, that I am in love with it.
Zanzen is quite relaxing and makes you learn about yourself from the inside. It teaches you self control. The meeting at the temple felt quite different from a typical sunday morning at the church. At first, there was no person blabbering on about something and I didn't feel like I was about to fall asleep of boredom. There was also no feeling of urgency, like we're hanging on a string above a botomless firepit.
The buddhist monk did not tell us what to believe in, which was quite unusual. When I think of a religion, I usually think that the first thing that they would teach you about, is what to believe IN. But, it was never the case. They just told what not to do when performing Zanzen and told us that we should repeat it often to get better at it. Self discovery is important.
From now on, I will be attending these Zanzen sessions every week, cause I am very interested in them.1
How many bits are in a nibble?
....I did not know, nor did I know what a nibble was...WITHOUT LOOKING IT UP.....any takers?4
You know, I really like my Redmi 4x. It's a nice and inexpensive phone and perfect for me. Now I wanted to get the most out of my phone by rooting it, which was going to be easy.
I thought. And lord almighty was I wrong.
First of all, to even get to root it you have to unlock the bootloader. To do that you have to use a tool that they've made. Good! An official way to do so would surely be good, I thought. But to actually use the tool you have to be logged in to their service on both the tool and your phone. Then, and get this, you have to submit a written application as to why you would want to unluck the bootloader.
Ohh but it didn't stop there. I did so and months passed without me getting any info from them what so ever. When trying the tool it would just tell me that they hadn't reviewed my application.
Today I tried again, and something new happened. It told me that I hadn't synced my accounts. Which I promptly did because it's progress.
I tried for what should be the final time, aaaand I get this. This according to the forums means I have to wait 72 hours to be able to do it.
But it's progress, right?
if false? if false what? (false is just not defined, but this is the sort of shit I come across in the twig-theme-saas world, makes me angry)5
Person: I need documentation for your program.
Me: Program isn't done yet.
Person: We want it anyways.
Me: Everything I document in dev will be drastically different once it's completed.
Person: Yes, we want documentation of what doesn't work so we can refer to it later for help.3
I'm a fresh school dropout (against my will) without any diploma. I've learned programming from self teaching since three years; mostly doing web and apps development with golang, and c#.
I've already done some small projects, helped a lot of people with code, do some freelance and I'm now trying to build a SAAS.
I don't know what I'm supposed to do now, I'm completely lost for my future. What would you do if you were in this situation ?4
[SERIOUS ADVICE NEEDED, PLZ HELP]
I am going to school again for like 4 days from tomorrow (don't ask me why, blame the government) and I feel a bit depressed. I just don't know what I have done in the last 2 years.
What I learned:
- Bunch of stupid facts from devRant
- C# stuffs
- Games are expensive
- Music production
And.... that's it, tbh
I don't really have "PERSONAL PROJECTS" that everyone is bragging about, I just have bunch of empty projects with a cool name but just Program.cs in it.....
I am worried of what to do now.
I just feel I made the wrong choice going with C#.
I just feel I should have went with JS.
With JS, you can do
- React Native + Cordova + Titanium + etc and make native android/ios/wp apps
- The WWW stuffs
- Electron --> Cross platform desktop apps (win/mac/linux)
- UnityScript (deprecated, but whatever) --> Games
So, what I am seeing now is a thick fog in the way to my future + career etc.....
I am stuck rn.
Should I continue with my pace and learn more C# and the things I do rn, or change the language and start from scratch, or as a last resort, leave the "make stuff by coding" industry and go to music industry, or just go to the airport and do planespotting and upload in youtube to earn money?
Serious advice please, and no jokes about C# and JS. These languages may suck, but YOUR language may suck more.11
On a doomed project. Nobody seems to know what anyone was suppose to have done last week, or the plan for this week.
I've warned them more times than I can count.
I could help, but I'll just sit here with my feet up, eating a snickers and watch them panic1
What do you do for a living? I mean, since we're all in devRant, we are all programmers and developers here. But what do you specialise in and which language do you recommend for use in your field?17
Co-worker: At my last job "I was technically lead dev", so don't mind me telling you what to do and criticizing every line of code you write. (He said that in finger quotes. I am also paraphrasing the last part, but you get the gist).
Me: So the fact that we are both level 3 programmers means nothing?
Co-worker: Exactly! See you understand!
Me in my mind: What a prick!
Just a little context there aren't any lead devs at our company, our boss doesn't want any. Also we have been working at this company together for 3 years, and this co-worker just said that to me today, WTF?14
A one of my co-workers today said he once witnessed a 20,000 line SQL query. Is that even a thing? What does it do?9
customer to one of my colleagues, after he is nearly done implementing his cookie banner: "So, what do I actually need this thing for?" - Eh, you never wondered this earlier? o.O
-- What if HTML was a programming language?
-- What if our data online isn't abstract but physical?
-- What if geeks have their own country?
-- What if humans exist and we are the aliens?
-- What if the internet is state-owned?
-- What if we could download food just like every other downloadables?
-- What if my VSCode won't kill me when switched to light theme?
-- What if there was no gender and the word "female" is just an alias for "male"?
-- What if bugs could find and fix themselves?
-- What if there's no need for an account password?
-- What if Linux was owned by Microsoft?
-- **What if I could tell my boss that I'm tired of his fucking job without actually telling my boss? This is the actual what if.**27
Got a new motherboard today, a Asus crosshair vi hero, AM4 for amd ryzen.
Bought is as broken / defective, it supposedly works except 2 ram slots should not get detected.
On a closer look, the story of water-damage didn't seem right.
Disassembled everything and took another look.
😲😨 "Is that solder tin? What the actual fuck?"
*Scratche it with tweezers
*"Supposed solder tin" becomes liquid and moves
😱 "The fuck that's liquid metal"
😵 Who the fuck sprinkles liquid metal all over a board?
😳Ryzen is solderd why the fuck should someone use liquid metal?
What the heck16
Got this in Slack from the owner of the firm I work for...
I mean, you already pay me half of the average salary I should be making, but yeah, let me get right on that...
To be fair, I work with this guy because he is a really good guy to work for, is very hands-off (no micro-managing), doesn't expect me to work on the clock or any overtime and lets me make all the calls with our directions in development. Plus he pays me all he can afford, so it's not like he's trying to screw me (he shares the books with me to prove it).
But still, the dude has to realize you get what you pay for. You don't go to McDonalds if you want a gourmet burger...2
My friend wants me to post a question on SO coz he cannot as he is currently banned from asking too many questions(dats what he says). Moreover, the question he wants me to ask was already asked by him a month ago. He wants me to ask again as he didn't find a.solution.9
Convo with me an my friend today (i purposefully left out my opinions and reactions):
Friend: i want to learn c#
Me: sounds good, but I'd go java if i were you
F: yeah but i want to do unity
M: sounds good, but I'd go with unreal engine if I were you
F: what language is unreal engine?
M: C++, but if you want to make apps, go with unity
F: yeah I want to make an android app
M: sounds good, but I'd try out renderscript if I were you
F: yeah I've used that before
M: oh really? What does it do?
F: I don't know
M: its for gpgpu because android game devs needed better performance
F: yeah I've used that
M: what does gpgpu stand for?
F: umm… i know what gpu stands for
M: okay dude, you didn't use it
F: yes I did, I made a cypher
M: dude, you didn't use it
F: yes I did!
M: what does gpgpu stand for?
*five minutes later*
M: *checks phone*
M: *sees text from friend*
Text from friend: dude it was general purpose gpu1
-----------Jr Dev Fucked by Sr Dev RANT------
Huge data set (300X) that looks like this :
( Primary_key, group_id,100more columns) .
Dataset to be split in records of X sized files such that all primary_key(s) of same group_id has to go in same file.
Sde2 with MS from Australia, 12 years of 'experience' generates an 'algo'. 70% Test case FAILED.
I write a bin packing algo with 100% test case pass, raises pull request to MASTER in < 1 day. Same sde2 does not approve, blocking same day release.
|-_-| What the fuck |-_-| Incompetent people getting 2x my salary with <.5x my work2
One of the colleagues I am close with is changing teams. They will still be around the company, in fact the office of the team they are going to is right by mine. It just sucks to lose a good developer and friend from the team.
Get up early to try to figure out how to get my personal business off the ground.
I guess the first thing is respond to the stupid IRS and file my late tax returns as their estimation of taxes is just ridiculously incorrect.
Then figure out exactly why I incorporated and what to build.
Guess I am doing this backwards.2
Man I currently have a burning hot passionate desire for physics. It actually gets me so damn excited. I mean it is basically damn magic ya know. But then I have a passionate desire for programming and that gets me excited. And then I have a burning desire for Math and that gets me excited as well. But I don't know what to push my life towards because I want to focus more on my ultimate goal. It's like having to choose between 3 amazing girls(not that I would know how that feels)4
Just found this today in the Terms for a VPN provider...
ARE YOU FUCKING JOKING?!? GO BOIL WHAT SMALL MAN JUNK YOU HAVE AND EAT IT.2
I've never been in the work place environment of a development company. What happens when there is a bug no one can solve, do you all huddle together and cry?6
I think I've found the worst API and documentation ever. Not because it isn't complete, no, because it is WILDLY confusing.
I present to you: https://developer.here.com/document...
And now an example of the API response:
What in the fuck? I can't even find any record of more than half of these acronyms? And why use acronyms?! Why not REAL WORDS?!9
!rant. Just trying to make people feel a bit better.
Ever thought "Ah crap, I have no idea what's going on with this code?" - then immediately second guessed your abilities?
You're not alone.
It's not just tiny projects in there either. Gnome is on the second page :-)1
What if an enormous asteroid hits the entirety of earth and all our codebase, hardwork, passion, and js frameworks get wiped out?7
Last year I wrote a sudoku program which did solve easy sudokus but messed up on harder ones. I had got bored after a bit and forgot about it until today I thought I'd rewrite it using new stuff I've learned since and make it work properly.
So I opened it up and look and I'm like 'WHAT!?' because I don't understand what I wrote. After a bit I start to get the idea and see that it was kind of smart even if long and complicated.
If anything, it shows how much my documentation skills have improved.
Now I just have to work out how to redo it in a way I understand.7
I'm not sure what to answer...
Found on SlimSocial for Facebook - Windows 10 Mobile (latest update😜)
i just saw a macbook pro 13" for the first time in my life irl in a shopping mall
1) what the fck
2) how the fkc can someone work on a screen This small, my fckin dick is bigger than this screen
3) who the fkkk buys such a small screen laptop at a price of $3777 !!!!!!!12
I woke up today to work more on my project. When I looked at my code, this thought ran through my had "What the hell was I thinking yesterday? I don't even drink!"3
Me: What if I use navigation props in EF Core, what might go wrong?
*tests API call*
*120 seconds later finally got result*
Me: I better undo my changes and stick with 2 seconds response time O_O
Found a Junior Dev position for fresh graduates but requires 5+ years of Java programming. Hope I started Java when I was in high school.10
Has any of you reached a point that you want to resign from work because of a client?
We are dealing with a client at work that uses the app for prototyping instead of making designers create wireframe, imagine the amount of code to write,edit, remove, write it again and yet there is always something isn't right from the client point of view.
What is even worse backend guys screw the server and I am the one to be blamed for errors: 5xx
I even get blamed for error 400 (bad request) when that request passes tests but out of a sudden server returns 400, when you hit refresh the exact same moment of error and server decides to return data and stop throwing error 400.
I also get blamed for server fails to return data from a search endpoint, and if server throws 403 for a public endpoint.
This isn't a rant or getting out of my system but I need opinions, I've been working on this project for a year, with complete mess from either client or backend team, if any of you is instead of me, what would you do?
I'm not a complete guy either, but that situation is just beyond my abilities to handle.6
Worked 2 weeks on hunting a memory leak on a product.
Ended up writing object tracker to find the leak(ironically it was in garbage collector). Found the leak and fixed it. It sounds cool but what I pushed was 9 lines commented out 1 line added for 2 weeks work..
Doesn’t feel very fulfilling to work for 2 weeks to comment out few lines. Only silver lining is that I might turn my object tracker into a library for colleagues to use.
P.s: not a linux or windows environment so tools like walgrind aren’t available.2
The content of this file is called code or algorithm or instructions or coderithm or algode or instrude or algostruction2
Since I have the most multi-use role in development I have ever seen its been so long since I've had to use actual JS that I've completely forgotten what I'm supposed to be doing with it.1
So, my current company builds a ERP system hand has a far to complicated database with one k tables and over 2k procedures. I started working there 3.5 years ago, well, first 2.5 years were educational. But I was mostly doing support work. From time to time I was tasked to do some interfaces ( around 15 currently I think) but since a few month I am just completely fucked up and don't know what to do. I still don't really get how this fucking huge database is supposed to work. I have 2-3 interfaces alto implement at the same time. Then I should create a app to allow users to stamp the personal and assignment times. Also I was tasked to create a html5 webpage ( never did something like this before) for also stamping times and some additional data to create a service report for customers on the fly. And finally I should create a asp.net based website for a dashboard overview which should be customisabke by our customers, which I also never did before. In the meantime I also have around 10-15 support tasks a week, and I don't see myself getting anywhere near finishing anything. But I am getting constantly approached by the boss and my team leader for not really getting anything done, even though they have no idea what the other one told me to do. And my boss has no idea if time management, he asked me how long a feature of the app would take and I told him at least two days and somehow he told my colleague I would be done in 4 hours. So currently I am permanently stressed and slightly depressed and I have no idea what to do, and I am just afraid of losing my job, because I am not able to finish my tasks.1
So I have a question regarding what I should learn next. I am going to my 3rd year in college and you can say that I am sort of baby MERN stack developer. Baby because I don't have a lot of production/real world experience. Now I need to decide whether I want to continue to work with JS in web dev. Or should I go to some other language for web dev like . NET or python. Or should I start learning GraphQL, or Machine learning. I am quite interested in blockchain and devops also, but I need to make a decision and please give me advice as to what you think will help me in the future.
I know I am all over the place but that is literally my brain since last few weeks.
Thanks in advance, I'll do a ++ as a form of my thanks.14
I woke up this morning thinking "what if Trovalds doesn't GPL-released Linux" and i got like all:
*Shooting stars music
Not a rant... But I have a question guys...
I am currently a student in 2nd year of college.
I have been using and learning C++ since like 4 years now and it is my truely favorite language. It just is a joy to work with. Tried others but couldn't handle them (no offense. Just a personal preference) so here is the question:
What should I do in future? Like which field would be most enjoyable?
Currently, I feel game programming is it... I do enjoy whatever puny game like thing I make way more than anything...
I also specifically enjoy creating backend stuff...
(I always end up creating mechanics for working of game engine but never creating the actual game... Like creating an asset manager or something but not using it).
By backend stuff, I mean something which requires me to think a lot as to how can I implement something and then implement it (again, in C++). And then another developer could make use of it.
I heard game development has a very low scope for growth and is very very tedious... Is it true? What route should I go to?
Btw, I enjoy building stuff from ground up, although ofc that doesn't happen haha...9
WTF?! I just dunno how to handle this error message.
Eh What!? I mean what?!
Will someone please catch that? I'll throw it to you...5
What the fuck is this piece of shit called Ubuntu? I was writing an automation tool on my local PC (ArchLinux) in c++ 17 (c++1z or whatever). Finished it today. Working and compiling so everything is fine. Went to my server, git clone, make.
Okay some errors because I havent installed my networking libs yet. So I installed them.
Error because I was using a c++ feature only available in c++ 17. But wtf. I told g++ I wanted to compile with c++ 17 support. I mean... On arch it compiled fine. On centOS it at least told me that it doesn't know c++1z (it was some really old centOS). BUT JUST TELLING ME ITS BECAUSE I SUCK AT PROGRAMMING?? THAT IS SO NOT OKAY. MY CODE IS LEGIT ISO C++ 17. FUCK UBUNTU. Installing Arch on my server now because I can't handle this shit anymore...16
So, I've been asked to build a tool that scrape's one's Facebook friends and their friends. I (surprisingly) managed to get it done.
I don't know what to feel about this.3
So today's conversation with my co-worker who built our build system...
Me:OS X build server is not building valid installs.
Him:What's the problem?
Me:The KEXT is not rebuild... I think that Jenkins isn't capable of updating the file because of the permissions the script set when you test compiled it manually... Could you please add Jenkins user to sudoers file or something?
Him:Yes of course, but what should I google?
WTF dude? Do you even think yourself? And for some reason no-one has acces to the build servers configs exept for him and he shows up like 3 times a week...
So... I let people around me who see me programing assume what they want to about my abilities, so when they asked if I could hack I decided to play a joke. I said "give me your phone and I'll show you your files and make your phone display a white for a few minutes" (phone was an Android with no lock on it), I do all that as I had an app that closed itself already built for other reasons... They said "cool, now hack that guys Facebook" .... people are gullible...
So my girlfriend was trying to find another word for "whispered" and I just had to screenshot this ad...
Could someone tell me what its trying to actually scam people into?6
So I've been in this dilemma.
I'm a senior like around 10 days from graduation. And I know I wanna do programming but like I dont know what area I want to do..
And I've always wanted to make a game (I have a few ideas tbh) but I feel like if I do I'll be sucked into that only and not ever really program software or web apps..
Am I going to succeed? How can I be good enough to be a professional if the best thing I've made is a bit that barely has original code?3
aagh fuck college subjects. over my last 4 years and 7 sems in college, i must have said this many times : fuck college subjects. But Later i realize that if not anything, they are useful in government/private exams and interviews.
But Human computer Interaction? WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THIS SUBJECT???
This has a human in it, a comp in it, and interaction in it: sounds like a cool subject to gain some robotics/ai designing info. But its syllabus, and the info available on the net , is worse than that weird alienoid hentai porn you watched one night( I know you did).
Like, here is a para from the research paper am reading, try to figure out even if its english is correct or not:
Looking back over the history of HCI publications, we can see how our community has broadened intellectually from its original roots in engineering research and, later, cognitive science. The official title of
the central conference in HCI is “Conference on Human Factors in Computing Systems” even though we usually call it “CHI”. Human factors for interaction originated in the desire to evaluate whether pilots
could make error-free use of the increasingly complex control systems of their planes under normal conditions and under conditions of stress. It was, in origin, a-theoretic and entirely pragmatic. The conference and field still reflects these roots not only in its name but also in the occasional use of simple performance metrics.
However, as Grudin (2005) documents, CHI is more dominated by a second wave brought by the cognitive revolution. HCI adopted its own amalgam of cognitive science ideas centrally captured in Card, Moran & Newell (1983), oriented around the idea that human information processing is deeply analogous to computational signal processing, and that the primary computer-human interaction task is enabling communication between the machine and the person. This cognitive-revolution-influenced approach to humans and technology is what we usually think of when we refer to the HCI field, and particularly that represented at the CHI conference. As we will argue below, this central idea has deeply informed the ways our field conceives of design and evaluation.
The value of the space opened up by these two paradigms is undeniable. Yet one consequence of the dominance of these two paradigms is the difficulty of addressing the phenomena that these paradigms mark as marginal.
Debug buddy/geeky trinkets thread, because I'm bored, I guess. Here are mine, from left to right:
> Dane-Elec (256 MB, DDR4) RAM stick that I have pretty much every time I go out. School, church, you name it. 256 MB shall always be with me.
> micro:bit (a development board aimed at schoolchildren) that acts as my debug buddy when I debug micro:bit code.
> Another micro:bit that I fried the USB chip on (I think it serves that purpose, might check the specs later) because I wanted to connect an LED to it (I know there's 25 red LEDs to use, but 26 never hurt anyone).
This one just sits in my drawer.
What do you guys have?6
I signed up for a web developer job... I am now making programs in VB.NET
This was not what I was expecting, however I am completely fine with it.
Crash course learning is fun. Just know that the first hundred programs i write will be really unoptimised.
Our company got bought over from a global private entity 3 months back (advent international) and the reciew process started and it turns out, im part of the bunch that may be getting retrenched as per the meeting we just had, our positions being redundant and just last week had a over the top performance review.. Now i need to figure out what to tell the family when i get home. This Fucking sucks im not going to lie2
Hey guys ! I'm currently working on a project to implement a simplest version of TinyDB on Z1 motes 😀
And you, what project are you currently working on ? 🤓11
Holy shit this is creepy.
So I just got back from a team event today from a location that was a few hours away and, while we were at the hotel there was a little cardboard box on our breakfast table with an ad on it. The slogan on the ad was “Bada book Bada boom” it was really dumb and I almost forgot about it, but just now I’m listening to pandora on a completely separate network, many hours away from the location and an ad comes on with the SAME SLOGAN for what I assume was the same company.
Now I’m just wondering how they managed to do that.... I really do not believe it was a coincidence considering I have never heard that ad on my pandora before....
This is fucking creepy1
I had the Fox Sports Go app on my Roku TV.
A few weeks ago, I noticed it was changed to the Fox Sports with a whole new design.
"Cool deal I like this."
Fast forward to today, I'm looking for a game that I know I have access to and I should be able to see. (I also check the Fox Sports Go website to see it there.)
Turns out, some dumbass fucker thought it'd be a fan-fucking-tastic idea to take a few of the TV channels and put them on their own app, while leaving the others in a separate app.
What the fuck was the point of this? I genuinely want to know what the end goal was, because it's fucking retarded to have two apps to do what one can and DID do.2
I am a student of Computer Science Engineering (Bachelor of Technology). I am 3 years into this 4-year course. I am strong in Data structures and Algorithms, and passionate to add more stuff to this list.
I am really done with this University coursework, and want to explore more (specifically, want to do something that is practical, and matters). I, obviously cannot leave the Uni, but I want to make my time at home more productive. Not just to me, but everyone.
1. I don't know where to start.
2. I teach myself everything, and hence, there is much difference between what I know and what people need, and I'm kind of scared of ruining/wasting other's time.
If there is someone out here who has the time out of his/her busy schedule to guide and set me on a path, please do help me. It's getting weird in my head.
Things I have done before:
* Developed a fullstack website for Indian Railways (going live in May 2019) [used Python for back end]
I have a sincere need from within to do this, and I am going to learn whatever more I need to, in order to fulfill your requirements. Please just show me WHAT and from WHERE.
Kindly do get back.3
Oh no guys. I can't get into work!
I can't see other humans! What shall I do? Oh no! My social interaction quota!
People wonder what would happen if internet went down while all it takes is npm repository and the dev world goes to shit xd
Well, I just made a Telegram bot that allows you to slap people with a mention. This is what my life has become.
Wonder what tomorrow will bring?
Monday I fuck up by duplicatung some emails.
Today my colleague accidentally sent emails in our test system out which in turn reduplicated the same emails I sent.
My boss is going to love it when he's back in.
How the fuck are you supposed to read the Nobody: shit? What does it mean? It doesn't make any fucking sense.20
what libraries, frameworks, third-party stuff, etc. does Python have? I need to know some and I will dive deep on it!8
Won an Amazon Echo Show in a Hackathon where we spent most of the time integrating with Google Home.
I don't know what to do with the thing. 🤔3
Client had me implement an exit intent modal on their website, inviting visitors to sign up to their mailing list when they moved to close the browser tab.
Client then had me implement an on page load modal which displays the poster for their upcoming event.
Client just emailed "Double popup happening!" with a screenshot of their website with both modals displayed at once.
Kicking myself for replying and explaining that this was expected behaviour in light of what they'd asked for instead of responding, simply, "Yes".1
Yeah ok. I went to bed extra early yesterday but i kept waking up at night and now i am tired anyways but thats ok. i have to go to work now but thats good. yeah this is great. now when the sun is up and i have to go to work, my body feels like it could sleep 10 hours straight but hey, i think this is just what i need right now before work.1
It's a great start of the week when your general manager asks you to get in to touch with a guy to ask about their return merchandise authorization system. And when I reply, sure, what would you like me to accomplish. You get the reply, I don't know, don't bother me with the technical details, they told me it should be super easy.
I don't know what 'it' is, but I'm happy that the man who can hardly use his macbook says its super easy.1
I really love coding, like a lot. I code a lot of Web related stuff at work and I also learned a tiny bit about Java. But the problem is I only code at work. I never feel like coding at home just because I dont know what to code. I would love to start coding more at home, for fun obciously. Any suggestions?4
You have all this power your ancestors never ever dreamed about to command every machine that uses a random bunch of characters at your fingertips and you do what?
A dating app!4
Ah, npm... Lots of packages use ES6 syntax because it's nice to write, and then transpile to node-compatible code either with CI or a precommit script. Just spent a whole day trying to figure out what was wrong with my project, when it turns out I just had to tell webpack to ignore node_modules *except* for this specific package. Sigh.2
co-worker : "hey, have you listened to this cool rocking song"
*Absolutely no idea about what he's talking about*
Me : *internally screaming* no I haven't
CW : well you should check it out, it really blah blah blah
I lost interest mid-way.
Protip : never intimate your colleagues out of their interest
This indicates what I often ask myself when posting a rant.. but could be used for example for feature requests, too. 😋
The song is quite horribly though.. was kind of a running gag during my studies. A friend reminded me of it a couple of days ago and my mind directly associated it with @dfox 😛3
What can I do with my spare Android devices/boards? Could I use the board with a custom OS for a Pi/Arduino analog?
I have 2 tablets that I have no use for. Googling suggestions are pretty simple and nothing that repurposes the hardware.7
It's a bit late but what do these specs mean?
The f and the 16/20.
I thought I was getting 20mp but all the camera apps say maz is 16.
And for RAWS, dinner say 13, OpenCamera says 16.9
In our company, "UAT".
We using staging environment and most of the data is either missing or corrupt. They don't refresh the data, saying it can impose some security issue.
How the hell are we supposed to complete UAT when there's no data that's in production!!!!1
Hey did you know that I was supposed to have Linux/Git lessons which I really looked forward to get because I'd like to switch to linux in the next months? Guess what, my school don't have any teacher for it! It means : until they find one, lessons are cancelled.
I know I can learn everything with Google (just like I did with git, Python, JS, etc) but it would be greatto have a real teacher to give me a feedback on what I'm doing.
They are still looking for a teacher so if anyone wants to become a teacher~1
I have an onsite technical interview test tomorrow. I have no clue what to expect as I have always done it online.
Should I expect it to be the same system but me just doing the online test in their offices 🙄?
NB: After the test I have an interview with the hiring manager.3
I'm currently a PHP Developer and I want to learn a new language soon.
I have thought about learning .Net or C# or something third?
At the moment I'm also working with NodeJS and have a basic knowledge about that, should I just continue mastering that?
What should I go with? I don't really care much about how much money it can give and so on, just wanting to learn more :D15
In the middle of the semester, my class and I are going to have a class about threads in Java. The teacher is at his normal days, 10 minutes later he just looks at us and says "Do you want to teach? Do you want me to teach today? You know what? I won't teach today. Let's talk about each other, I want to know you more. Tell about your hobbies, what do you do besides your student life?" 😂
!rant - well maybe
I really wonder what is going to be the end product concerning Deno and TypeScript when it deals to managing dependencines. Thus far the general idea is to have a deps.ts file for which the dependencies required are fetched through a url, cached into the project and then imported from that file onwards.
This seems interesting to me, and I would venture to say that it eliminates some of the pain points from running Node applications, we all know about the dread caused by overly large node_modules folders, but would y'all say this is the right approach? rather than stopping people from generating a large pool of dependencies, it seems that the issue would continue to persist, but it would just come from the internet during runtime rather than from living in the file system of the application.
Either way, I still remain a big fan of Ryan Dahl and his creations and can't wait to see Deno stable enough to test out on a couple of projects.2
Upgraded our internal samba fileshare. Was getting too old. So updating the apt sources list and push the dist-upgrade: what could possibly go wrong?
Somehow the locale went astray, updating the manpages gave too many errors and now finally everything's fucked up, because it somehow deleted the sudo binary and root is locked or we don't have password.
But samba was updated and it's still serving our files.7
I always enjoying snacking on some popcorn while people argue so, what are your thoughts:
Comments in your code - good or bad?4
This comes up when I search on Google 'what is code' lol this looks like a bob the builder remake all about code
Basic requirement of every Data Science college internship:
1) 2-3 years of experience... God damn it
2) Research and publications...(yeah right! in 2 years of college in which you taught me how to "work with" C on Turbo-C... I should have god damn publications... Well worked my ass on and have 2, but guess what campus internships says.. " no fucks given man", solve those damn segment tree question first then we will talk)
Its an infinite recursive while loop
I've got into an impasse.
I'm working as a mobile developer for one of the well known multinational corporations. I am working here for 1.5 years, it's my first job and I'm already a team leader. It doesn't mean that this is my programming experience. The problem is that I'm feeling that this job stops me from growing on personal plan. I have no more time to work on my personal projects, i have no real portfolio, projects made for the company cannot be included in my portfolio and so on. And also the payment isn't real good so i can't quit and allocate my full time to my own projects. And without a good portfolio i can't get my own customers.
What do you guys would do in my situation.3
Yesterday I tried Rancher on a DigitalOcean droplet.
Rancher itself was easy to startup and use. But I couldn't manage to find the Container Volumes on my NFS Server. Even the NFS Server was up and running.
I really felt like a monkey in front of my PC not understanding what Im doing.
A developer just followed me on twitter and their description stated their game had 'FPS quality visuals'... What the fuck does that even mean?1
A customer of ours not to say names trains people for infosec certs upon investigating their website I noticed they don't have forward secrecy enabled.
Why? What? Even?
Turn it on you baddies.2
Today I discovered trial and error driven development for myself:
Me, reading spec..
Spec: „Do something with an CSR“ (not the exact wording :D)
So instead of just googling C# + CSR and copying the code examples,
I went like:
What means CSR -> Certificate (Something Something)
-> could be this namespace (Something with „Crypto...“ in its name)
-> could be this class (Something with „Certificate“ in its name)
-> take the easiest overload (string is always nice)
-> try filling in the parameters from the spec
-> start debugger and inspect properties
-> repeat if necessary
I don’t know if this is the correct pattern to proceed my project with...
But hey, today it worked and now I also know, what „distinguished“ means
Worst coding mistake was assuming that the NameCheap domain API was an update and not a replacement. I went to added a test sub domain to our company domain and it cleared out 40 unique sub domains taking down our sites and email until I could manually add them back.1
How is the quality of life for the average web developer?
I've been doing a bit of research and it seems quite common for people in the field to have no life outside of work. This is not what I want. I work/study 7 days a week and I would ideally like to work for a web dev company, not freelance.
Is it naive to think that a standard 9-5 is realistic for me when I graduate?8
I always liked to go through recruitment pipelines, to see what other companies do.
So today I had a meeting with a "talent recruter".
He asked to present myself, my history and what I did in the last three years... In 10 minutes...
So, obviously I did it in 20 mins.
The final response was "not good vibes, and synthesis problems".
WTF? How can I presente a big restructuration, recruting, process, formations, architectures in less thant 15 minutes... Did he wanted that I made drop naming.2
Doing magical things and hacking the world. They don't understand it maybe never will but it's ok because they respect what I do :)
I needed to install an extra Ethernet card on my machine at work. The process of getting it from the IT department was fairly easy, but the damn things didn't have the small screws you need, in order for the card to not hang on the PCI-E port...
Turns out finding that kind of screws is way more annoying than the card itself. :/ I don't get why they were not included, if they are essential for the operation of the card...5
What i'll minded cocksucker decided it was a good idea to let the web application cache MySQL login credentials..3
What exactly is a full-stack developer/engineer? I'm confused.
Basically, it's a lame mvc framework I wrote which heavily relied on AJAX and bootstrap modals.
I built from mysql <=> PHP -> UI
I Also built an android app that communicates with the php api
I worked for 4.6 years and they were kind enough to give me the designation "Full Stack Engineer" so I could put that on my resume. Alright, cool.
Then I go to this interview and one interviewer took offense. He told me that, there are 3 tiers of web dev; Database, Backend shit and UI. And I'm not a full-stack engineer. He then asked me if I worked with frameworks like laravel, symphony etc. [I did but not in this project]. I didn't know what to say. The other interviewer tried to help me, "Do you know what it means? Or have you ever worked with React.js or Angular?".
Didn't get the job and I'm so embarrassed and just feel like I'm a fraud. How could I not know what full-stack is? And why did I put it in my resume? Fuck!
Anyway can anyone tell me what "full- stack *" is?
Just fuck my shit up fam6
Way of wasting time:
generating csv and importing in Open Office Calc, mysteriously what should be ",-," shows as "-0".
I thought some strange fucking time function was responsible of generating a "0" after my "-", until I discovered that for some fucking reason, Open Office Calc decides to add the fucking "0" by itself.
And they say that computer do what they are told to. I just said to import a fucking "-", it's called "Minus". do you fucking understand Calc?
Back to something useful.1
Fuck undocumented shit!
I was wondering how to use this one method of the "interface". Googled the name of the program and the specific method.
Got two results.
From the same page.
It's a comment complaining that this shit is undocumented and doesn't work.
If you build something that others use, please, motherfucking please, document your code.
At least some auto generated javadoc, how hard can it be?
You are using the atlassian suite for everything and you have confluence so use it already! The only documentation that actually exists it about a hundred years old, totally useless and covers about 1% of what your product can do.
I like your product but fuck me sideways your documentation sucks balls! Fuck!
That needed to get out.
Started working at a new company recently, like a week later me and my girlfriend decides to move in together at her place(6hour drive from my current work place).
So since im there during my trial period i contact another company looking for a job to have some kind of security in case they Fire my ass since im moving.
End up with a new better offer from another company and when breaking the News for the boss - a possibility to work on distance for my current position..
What to do, stay or take the better offer?1
To start of I'm a student in the Netherlands, I have just finished finished a support management study and I'm currently starting with a IT Management study on MBO 4 lvl.
At the moment I'm in conflict scout doing the IT Management study or doing a application development study as I just don't know what to do. I kind of want do development as I do it in my free time and I like it but I also want to do data center engineering as I also like to work with the hardware.
Should I take a month break of my study and try to get in contact with company's to work there to finalize my decision or should I just drop in the towel and do this study without knowing if I'm going to like it in the end.
And if you work at a company in the Netherlands do you think i can do some orientation internship at your company or do you guys know some places to look at.
Ugh. Where to begin!
If you gotta make a standard for everyone to follow, you better make it readily available. Even though you barely have any users, but if it's a standard, anyone can try to follow it tomorrow. Or else take it down completely.
There's a standard for learning tools handled by IMSGlobal (Don't ask who they are, no idea). So if you want to build a tool to integrate with different learning platforms, follow this.
OK now, to read the documentation you have to register for an account. As if this is bad, ....... wait for it ........, sign up has to be approved by an admin. My request is already weeks old but not approved.
OK. Google around and try to see if some alternative can be read than that shitty website. Apparently, they have a Spring plugin on GitHub that can be used as a Maven dependency. It has a small readMe attached so I can get something out of it.
And I'm using Spring, golden right? Not quite...............
turns out the stupid readMe is outdated. If you follow those instructions, you get errors. WONDERFUL!!
Now I have to dig through all the code files and try to make sense of what I'm supposed to do.
Not really developer related, but today, my girlfriend was trying to convince me why taking the stairs was better then the elevator. She decided to not mention the health benefits, not talk about safety risks. The argument she chooses is that "stairs have less steps" like what? Out of all the things you could have said, that is literally the worst argument. I can't think of a single statement less true! Like she could have stated pretty much any fact and that would have been a better argument. I don't understand what's going on in her head sometimes.3
Got an interview at a financial tech firm. I asked them what I should wear:
Engineering is a casual environment, so we encourage you to wear whatever makes you feel most comfortable. We are focused on your knowledge and skillset, not your outfit, so please come as you are.
Not a suit, OK... but not sure if I should wear weekend casual or my usual business casual/work clothes...5
$ git clone some/shit.git dir
$ cd dir
$ npm install
[literally ages later]
$ du -sh node_modules
So, I've just been offered two jobs that are basically the same. It is impossible to do both. What do I do?15
Yesterday our company CEO gave a presentation on the plan for our company's growth.
Let's just say that I'm not too sure that the goals he's set might not be met because I know the way we work.
But if those goals are met, it'll be a huge hit. Provided all the stars align and the PMs decide to do things right for once.
Can't decide what to do in terms of asking for those better projects that have been mentioned or just lay low and stay sad because the work that I'm getting sucks (no actual development just site support for the past 6 months).2
at a Weezer concert watching Rivers Como and it clicked why I want all the stickers.. We all just want to be rock stars!2
A lot of the skills I use at work are actually learned on my own time. And a lot of the time, it feels like I trying to drag the team forward but everyone else does things that drag them, and thus me as well, backwards.
There's always work but most of it is low value and there's just less and less time to make things better because no one else has any opinion of how things should be...
Maybe I should just give up... Again....
I really need to find a better job or at least one without so much technical debt.
Feels like actually my PM is exactly like the name of in Phoenix Project... But I guess he'll never take any meaningful action.
But when I'm not sure what that is... Guess it really is hiring the right people and doing things right from the start, it at least fixing them immediately.
**END internal monologue and summary**
My employer is a subcontractor on a big and rather complex project, that already is way behind schedule and over budget (as these monsters tend to be). To get back some confidence from the client our principal moved an important milestone up two weeks. Which we protested against vehemently because the projected workload was already a very tight fit for the original timeline, without any reserve to speak of left. They wouldn't listen though...
The result? The whole team has to work the next weekends to have even the slightest chance of making the earlier timeline. Which is exactly what we told them would happen when they moved the milestone.
The worst? This isn't the first time this has happened while I worked on the project 😑5
My co-worker X and I worked late nights for a project every single day including weekends, and our fucking senior manager invites X to his party and not me. Seriously.. does he even know I'm in the same fucking team?.
I mean yeah X did a great job working hard and shit.. but so did I.
I really hate my manager.
Ooh this project.. So I was put in charge of creating new pages, and general maintenance as the site was already built by a previous dev on the team before i joined the company. I take a look at the design, fairly strange forward quick analysis most of it bootstrapable, some custom code is needed for some parts so no issues there.
Looks at the code, only the bootstrap grid system is being used, the rest is custom code, an additional 9K lines of CSS and 526 lines of JS. What the hell is this.2
I'm building a website with Django just to learn, so far I have login/sign up and even a chat I cloned from github, I don't know what else to do with it, any ideas?4
Doing some SendGrid integration with suppressions via their API. I changed around a bit of my own code today because what I had before wasn't working well. Something I didn't touch suddenly stopped working. The response body from their one API endpoint no longer matches what their docs say and I swear it did yesterday. So I've been swearing thinking I broke something for the last four hours.4
What is everyone's opinion on companies/organisations 'too big to fail'...?
I was just pondering on how 'just Google it' has become so 'natural' as a way of saying search the Internet. The more I think about it, the less I like it.
I know the chances of them failing/crumbling are neary zero (hence the name) but if an org, Ie Alphabet, made some shit decisions and bankrupted their company, what would happen then? Any ideas? I don't mean in terms of social fallout, economic etc.
I mean in terms of network infrastructure, them being such a central part of 'the web', all their Dns services, their backbone links, Google drive, Google fiber etc. What would happen to all user data? Just be destroyed?
I've never 'seen' a large tech company collapse, but just wander as to how that process would work for such a huge organisation, and the literal mountains of data they have which will need destroying or relocating.
Inb4 watch Mr robot hurrr7
I just felt like saying as I'm not sure how prevalent this is but the reason I got into computing and programming is essentially this, I want to change the world and make a better society and to quite frank I honestly believe that what you make and it's impact on people is far more important that your personal character5
I swear, I swear this is going to be the last (the best, also, but mostly the last) webdev gig I'm gonna do. SO. FED. UP.
When I end this, I have one month I want to spend in refining some other tech related skill. The main two points needed: a decent pay, a fair amount of free time (I have to study along that: math major, my singing/piano/maybe other stuff too during the year). What do you suggest? Linux sysadmin is a thing I can reasonably become in that windows of time or at least compatible with my needs? Because it catchs my eye. 😵
Am I the only one that didn't the use of not after a something incredibly triggering?
Eg. "Ask not what..."
I know the meaning but I interpret it as "ask how(?) [ inverse of what]... "2
Hope you guys dont mind me asking this here. Does anyone know what library this datetimepicker is using?2
Hi, as a developer turned tester I was wondering if anyone here would hear a talk about what on earth testers actually do in a project and how they contribute to the product? I mean besides writing automation scripts or checking if all the requirements are met (the latter is really the most boring part of testing).
I am thinking of doing a talk on this but don't know if Devs might be interested and which conferences I should target.2
I think I was around the age of 11, and got a brand new C64 with 1541 floppy. The manual of the included floppy disc with some programs described the program startup with 'load "name",8,1'
So I typed (exactly that) 'load "name",8,1' and got '?FILE NOT FOUND ERROR', did it again, same error.
After half an hour of reading the manual and trying it several times, I gave up and went to a friend with a C64. I told him the disc doesn't work, if he could help me out.
He put the floppy disc in and typed 'load "frogger",8,1' and seeing the command I realized what a tremendous idiot I was.
Surely it worked, he could play frogger.
Went home desperate and broken with my disc and from that day on I could operate that machine.
I soon started to play around with basic and a bit of assembler.
A question for all of you. What is the best way in CS to earn enough money for a comfortable life standard and where can people go for this?3
Gradle gradle gradle
You're made out of C
Gradle gradle gradle
The community doesn't seem to appreciate thee
Gradle gradle gradle
A blowjob is what comes after coffee
What the fuck is gradle?
I do it pretty regularly maybe once or twice a week depends when I'm working on something interesting and want to get it done. Not very hard when you have coffee, headphones, good music, and enjoy what you do.
As for a story i don't have much of one unless you want one about implementing jwt tokens with a rest api along with trying to implement an 2FA system that would support otp and u2f. Then nuking it from orbit two days later cause it looked like garbage from trying to abstract everything
Why is laravel quickstart guide's default files are so fundamentally different from what I got, when I run 'laravel new myApp'? It's so frustating!3
It can't be as simple as comparing geocoded locations. It just can't be there has to be other factors as well I have data for and can use as well. It cant be this easy what the hell am I missing
I got an old laptop from my girlfriend that I can use for whatever I want.
As a programmer and computer nerd you can't deny that you wouldn't do anything with it, but what to do?
I want to use it for something, but can't figure out what. Maybe you have some ideas :D7
Just found a production project that has good portion of it's Composer dependency tree listed in .gitmodules.
Deployment builds are prepared with --recursive clone.
So I have a few projects that I've been planning out for a while. Looking to start one over Christmas, build it up and launch early-ish next year.
I would say I'm well versed in RoR. Not great at explaining things but in terms of writing code I got that. Just not that great of a speaker haha more of a doer.
I also use JS a lot and some Node.
But I think I want to challenge myself at least for one of the projects. I've jumped around languages and frameworks alot job wise as I've had too. Never had the opportunity there to focus and hone in on the one language or stack. Which I do want to try and try and focus on a stack or language in 2020 to hone it in, focus on only a few things.
So I was thinking of using TypeScript and Vue with firebase. But that seems close to what I've been doing already. If I was to build the first project with RoR I can get a production ready app within a few days maybe even less because how easy it is to use and previous experience of course.
The first project is just a simple jobs board similar to we work remotely.
I've also heard good things about go and rust, asp.net. I'm open to all ideas.
Okay so I calming down now. All is well. Great now I have iphostor syndrome! What will come tomorrow?! I can't wait... 26s till I can rant. now1