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Search - "what"
What. The. Fuck. Did. Just. Happen.
A random girl followed me on social media. She looked nice and intelligent so I followed her back.
Started to chat about some random stuff. She told me she works at the HR department of an international company and asked me what's my job. Told her I'm a software developer.
Right after that she sent me a selfie. Obviously I said she looks nice, she thanked it and asked some more about my job. After a short discussion I received another selfie but somewhere in between she lost the outer layer of her clothing.
She still looks nice but now I'm sitting here utterly confused and cant tell whether it was my sarcastic humour and moderately handsome facial features which charmed her or she just needs to recruit someone for a new project and willing to do everything to reach the quota.72
Me: <ranting about work at dinner>
Wife's Cousin: You need a new job. You should go back to school.
Me: lol And do what?
WC: You could be a... oh what's that called? It's like a... a computer engineer!
Me: <tilts head> You... mean a software engineer?
WC: No, it's called a computer engineer.
Me: <tilts head even more> What does a "computer engineer" do?
WC: They like, write programs and stuff.
Me: <ok now I look like a goddam owl but sideways or some shit> That... that's what I do.
WC: What? But you're not an engineer!
Me: My title is software engineer...
WC: Why's it called that? I thought you were just IT!
Me: If I told you I do full stack web dev, would you have any idea what I'm saying?
Root ain't givin' no fucks no mo'
My boss just demanded that I join a conference call. So, I call in, and there's three other people there.
He starts chewing me out for talking with some vendor directly (their VP emailed me directly and asked for a few things, and i was instructed to make him happy). Apparently I used "confusing wording" and "did not talk his language." Bossman was really getting into gear for a ten-minute berating.
It turns out that the guy in question only read half of my first email, and totally ignored the second email where I told him everything was finished and live and working. I told my boss quite bluntly that the guy should have read what I had written, and that he was an idiot. The boss's defense of the guy? "Well, he's a sales guy." I just laughed at him.
Later, bossman started in on me (once again) for not making enough progress on this ridiculous shared-spreadsheet sales tool he wants, saying "We discussed this a week ago!"
I casually reminded him that we had talked about it for the first time ever on Friday night (today is Tuesday), and he had said it wasn't going to be a priority for the next three weeks(!). Again he stopped in his tracks. Again, I laughed at him.
Guy's a tool and I'm so done with caring.
Root's going to be flippant and angry. Root's going to have fun (:
What's he gonna do, fire me? 😂35
Windows, you fucking idiot! You scheduled that damn update and now you have the balls to ask me what happened?!12
At job interview.
They: What would you describe as your biggest character flaw?
Me: *rolls d8* I pretend not to understand the local language in order to avoid interactions I would rather not have.
So a friend of Mine asked me to check their Mail server because some emails got lost. Or had a funny signature.
Mails were sent from outlook so ok let's do this.
I go create a dummy account, and send/receive a few emails. All were coming in except one and some had a link appended. The link was randomly generated and was always some kind of referral.
Ok this this let's check the Mail Server.
Let's check the mail header. Nothing.
Face -> wall
Fml I want to cry.
Now I want to search for a pattern and write a script which sends a bunch of mails on my laptop.
Fuck this : no WLAN and no LAN Ports available. Fine let's hotspot the phone and send a few fucking mails.
Guess what? Fucking cockmagic, no funny mails appear!
At that moment I went out and was like chainsmoking 5 cigarettes.
It hit me! A feeling like a unicorn vomiting rainbows all over my face.
I go check their firewall. Shit redirected all email ports from within the network to another server.
Yay nobody got credentials because nobody new it existed. Damn boy.
Hook on to the hostmachine power down the vm, start and hack yourself a root account before shit boots. Luckily I just forgot the credentials to a testvm some time ago so I know that shit. Lesson learned: fucking learn from your mistakes, might be useful sometimes!
Ok fucker what in the world are you doing.
Do some terminal magic and see that it listens on the email ports.
Holy cockriders of the galaxy.
Turns out their former it guy made a script which caught all mails from the server and injected all kind of bullshit and then sent them to real Webserver. And the reason why some mails weren't received was said guy was too dumb to implement Unicode and some mails just broke his script.
That fucker even implented an API to pull all those bullshit refs.
I know your name "Matthias" and I know where you live and what you've done... And to fuck you back for that misery I took your accounts and since you used the same fucking password for everything I took your mail, Facebook and steam account too.
Git gut shithead! You better get a lawyer17
I just had a client complaining on the phone that she read my database design documents and that they are all wrong and need to be done again. Because things like varchar and int are confusing. And nobody understands what they mean. She asked around and nobody understood it.
Ooh, and I should place the customer name in more then one table because it would be handy to have in several places.
Spend a hour on the phone trying to explain that these documents are not intended for her. They are not for her to understand.
I make these documents to build a stable product and in case something bad happens to me its easier to pick up for another developer.
Long story short.. I'm currently making a document that explains the database design... Getting paid for it..... But fucking hell. Somebody save me.10
Me: good morning, what can I help you with?
Client: I THINK REMOVED SOMETHING AND NOW ALL MY EMAIL IS GONE. HELP.
M: okay sir, do you have the domain for m....
C: HEY WAIT IT'S BACK NEVER MIND THANKS BYE
M: Oh tha....
TL;DR: Teacher wants to invest in my company 😲
So, just this morning as I headed to class (still in school, 17 years old, from Germany) someone tapped me from behind - a female teacher whom I've only seen a few times (She is a really nice and friendly teacher who teaches economics)
She asked me: Aren't you the young businessman? I've seen your interview, fantastic! (Background info: I recently founded my second firm (Webdevelopment, Design and Marketing) and was quite often in the media (local newspaper, television, radio))
Quite unsure, I responded: "yeah, right".
Promptly she asked: "Is there some way I can invest in your company? Perhaps in stocks?" (Of course we can't offer stocks, we're just a small local company lol)
Me: "There always is a way I guess?" (I was extremely grateful but didn't know how to respond)
Her: "Great! Would you mind sending me an email with your contact info?"
What the fuck just happened. 😂20
So at school the teacher gave us a MONTH to write a sorting algorithm in Java. I asked the teacher if that wasn't a little too much time.
Her answer:" I want to give the weaker people in class a chance."
Okay so far so good.
The day we had to turn in our code I asked around what algorithm others had choosen and if they had any problems with it.
Classmate A: "yeah we didn't know how to program it so we copied it from the internet and I modified it heavily."
Me *raised eyebrows*: "can you show me?"
Me: "but that's exactly the same like the first Google result?!"
A:"No look there , I added this line so that it works with my code"
That lying bitch just added bucketSort(myArr, maxVal);
In the main method.
Me"How is that heavily modifying?"
A:"Also I asked the teacher and she said it was OK to copy the method from the internet"
What the flying cunt is wrong with people. So you give us a month to copy and paste from the internet.
Yeah great teaching.
You are the reason why half the class can't program shit.
Thanks for nothing. 😒😒
First rant hope you enjoyed it.11
Boss: I need to know how much resources a server would need to serve 20000 users at the same time
Me: Sure, can I see the webapp?
B: There's not one yet
M: Ok, can I see its documentation then?
B: There is none
M: But ot depends on the programming language, libraries used, what kin-
B: It's an e-commerce. Try browsing Amazon and see how much they nees to handle the page requests.
Me: *still processing* wh-
Boss: I have to give an estimate to a client within 30 minutes. Hurry.
So.... Uh... I guess i have to hack Amazon now?10
After it was revealed that the Equifax hack was even bigger yet again, the US government said something that really made me say/think something in the trend of "WHAT the actual FUCK?!"
"This data is in the hands of cyber criminals anyways".
You run the biggest mass surveillance program in the world, sucking up more than a million terabytes every hour, then at least could you PRETEND to care/take interest when the personal data of about all your citizens appears on the Internet?!
Reinstalled my dedicated server and realized (afterwards) that I just erased my entire openvpn/mysql auth setup and I don't have an entirely working copy.
Okay, nothing I can do about that afterwards, setup csf right away, monitored the auth log for a minute and noticed one ip which had just connected and found it weird somehow. Blocked the ip.
Then, one second later, as my console stopped responding and that ip address suddenly looked veeeery familiar, I realized I just blocked myself. (the blocks persist across reboots)
Went to the control panel and hit the reinstall button. Confirmed, and two seconds later I realized I could just have connected to any of my own fucking vpn services to unblock myself.
What in the living fuck is wrong with me @_@32
Me : hey, why have you taped out your webcam ?
Him : shhhh, they are watching.
Me : what ?
Him : what ?17
Someone at work trying to impress me: I recently got a really nice PC! It runs Microsoft 10 and has an i5 graphics card and a high performance case!
!rant but a story
This happened today. Sorry for long post. A manager from another team in development team, I'll call him junkfellow, called me very very late last night to help them solve an issue in our application's test environment that blocking them from doing testing. They apparently doing integration testing with our application. Now said test environment is not even prepared by our team. We are development team and this test environment prepared by our application's support team. So I politely told junkfellow to get in touch with our support team counterpart as I am from development team. And he began shout at me
junkfellow: "WHY DO YOU THINK I'M FUCKING CALL YOU? IT'S BECAUSE I CAN'T FUCKING REACH ANYONE FROM SUPPORT!"
me: "With due respects sir I have no instructions to assist you and your team in your testing"
junkfellow: "THEN WHAT GOOD ARE YOU? IF YOU DON"T GET ONLINE NOW I WILL FUCKING ESCALATE YOU TO CW!!!"
We all know who CW is and he can make some people life very hard and I didn't want to call my boss so late so I quickly went online and spent the next 4hrs supporting their testing. Next morning I told my boss what happened and he scolded me for not calling him last night. He dropped an email to junkfellow's boss about junkfellow being "unacceptable attitude, disrespectful and threatening to escalate my team mates". My boss always refer to us as team mates, not his staff or his team member.
Then in few minutes, someone walking like a school bully with his chest out came to my boss place and announced himself (he is junkfellow). I say announce because he talking like he wanted everyone to know who is he. My boss stood up promptly, greeted good morning, introduce himself, shook junkfellow hand and sat down. Still young, maybe in late 20's or even younger than me. junkfellow talking to my boss loud enough for most of us to hear. Everyone's neck suddenly long like meerkat and listening:
junkfellow looking down to my boss who is sitting down: "How dare you send email like that to my boss? We are both managers you should act like one, you have a problem with me then you talk to me. You don't bypass me and go directly to my boss. You didn't even give me face!"
my boss sitting down: "So you didn't even ask your boss before picking a fight."
*junkfellow suddenly look confused*
my boss still sitting down talking calm with poker face: "I did give you face. You think by going to your boss I bypassed you and went one level up? No I went one level down!"
junkfellow still look confused and then slowly realized what my boss meant. Now he is staring at floor and can't look my boss in eye after he realized he is screwed!
my boss now standing up: "You treat my team mates like that againi or ask them to do something without my knowledge and I will talk to your boss' boss about it"
boss to me: "Hey tollywood! junkfellow here sincerely regrets what he did last night and wants to apologize to you in person" and boss' poker face turned to his familiar smirk
junkfellow immediately came to me, said "it's ok you no need to stand up", he sat down in a squat and apologized repeatedly. He really looked like he was about to cry and for a moment I pity him. But then I remember what he did and I just enjoyed the moment! Was pure gold :D :D :D13
TABLE BASED WEB DESIGN
I was surprised there were no rants about this topic before I realized it was more than a decade back 😳
We've never had it better! So to help add a little perspective for all those ranting about what is unarguably the golden age for web developers... let me fill you in on web dev in the late 90's;
HTML was simple and purely a markup language (with the exception of the marquee tag). The tags were basically just p,ul,ol,h*,form inputs,img and table and html took 10 minutes to learn. Any style was inline and equally crude - anything that wasn't crude could not be trusted and probably wouldn't render at all in most browsers (never mind render correctly).
There were rumors of a style TAG and something called a cascading style sheet which were received with much skepticism since it went against the old ways and any time saved would be lost writing multiple [IE version specific] style sheets for each browser just to get it to work - so we simply didn't.
No CSS meant the only tags you had to work with to create a structured layout were br, hr and table... so naturally EVERYTHING was in nested tables! JS callback hell can't touch this! - it was not uncommon to have 50+ nested tables all with inline style in a single page which would be edited without any dev tools or linting.
You would spend 30 minutes scanning td tags until your eyes bled to find something, make a change, ftp the file to the server, reload the web page and then spend 10 minutes staring at the devastation on your screen convinced you broke
the internet before spotting an un-closed td tag with your bloodshot eyes.
Tables were not just a silver bullet - they were the ONLY bullet and were in the wild west!
Q: Want an inline form or to align your inputs left?
A: Duh table!
Q: Want a border with round-corners, a shadow or blur?
A: That's easy! Your gonna want to put that table in the center cell of another table then crop a image of the border into 6 smaller images to put in the surrounding cells... oh and then spend 10 minutes fucking with mystical attributes like cell-padding and valign to get them flush.
...But hey at least on the bright-side vertically & horizontally centering stuff was a breeze!23
Don't know what is worst: that they offer to teach Visual Basic on 2018, or that they "invented" Visual Java.
When you're hard at work on an algo but forgot to take your ADHD medicine so the squirrels are fighting outside but need to check Facebook statuses and having a dance party to Cotton Eyed Joe is a great coworker on LinkedIn which is now coded in Ember JS is weird compared to Python and my pencil is a funny color and my keyboard is shiny. I forgot the punchline. I'm gonna have a bowl of cereal. What was I doing?8
Today I was searching Android docs and found something interesting:
To write Android log statements, you use the android.util.Log class with the following methods:
According to Google it seems to mean "What a Terrible Failure".
So what do you do for a living?
- I fix shit. While i do that, i break some other shit and then i fix that shit.2
Okay so about a year ago these FUKKING IDIOTS decides, against my recommendation, to do this quick-ugly-hack and ninja it into production.
I tell them its a FUCKING BAD idea that will blow up in a year or so...
But no, just go go go!!!!!!!
Now a year later, shit blew up badly. A total FUCKING derail. These new idiots asks me to "fix the problem", the same fucking problem I predicted and warned them about a year ago. So now i have to clean up their ducking mess because "Nobody else knows how to fix it".
What the FUCKING HELL do we pay them fuckkkers to do?!!
New idiots you ask? Yep, because 3 out of the 4 original fucktards already left the place in order to go and make some other new collegues lives fucking miserable.
FUCK YOU FUCKING MOOTHERFUUUKKKEEERRRRRSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!2
I have to share because I'm so confused at the moment. After troubleshooting for months trying to figure out why my laptop would randomly go into sleep mode, as I was typing. (Imagine my frustrations working on exam projects to have the screen just go black on me every 30 seconds.)
Today I found a post on the Dell forums by another person with the same problem. Apparently a magnetic closure on my bracelet triggered a sensor to think I had shut the lid on my laptop. What. The. Fuck. Guess that explains why it would only happen sometimes, as I don't wear this bracelet often 🙃🔫 definitely the funniest and weirdest problem I've ever had with a laptop.13
I now know another person's password without even wanting to.
He was sitting in the row in front of me, logging into our course page and then *brrrrraaaaapppp* - ran his index finger along the top number row and hit enter.
I don't even know what to say.13
I find it funny to see how people very often go into defense mode (of those companies) when I call them (a select amount of companies) mass surveillance companies.
I mean, when you search for the definition of a surveillance compatible (or, surveillance) and see what those companies (Google, Microsoft, Facebook, Twitter, AOL, Yahoo, Paltalk), it outright matches that of (a) surveillance company/companies.
Then, when you look at the scale they perform this at (mass scale, mass amount of people/users), it fits the definition of a mass surveillance company...
No matter how you turn it, those companies are, per definition, (mass) surveillance companies (apart from the fact that they're integrated within worlds biggest created government powered mass surveillance program ever).3
OMFG it happened again. I'm always very explicit with recruiters that I don't take full time employment while I'm studying. This one was very understanding about it and said he found a great match for my skillset.
I just had a meeting with the CEO of this great match of a company.
- "No, we only seek people who can work full time, let's keep in touch when you've graduated".
What the fuck, way to waste everyones time.10
Every single time I try to find a solution to a problem I'm having....
Who were you? What did you see?4
Me when typing in dark on my non-backlit keyboard:
"Hiw tp di tjid tjing "
Me when typing in light on my non-backlit keyboard WITHOUT LOOKING AT IT:
"How to do this thing "
I mean what the fuck mr.brain !!12
> le server suddenly stops working, no boot, no POST, no beeps, no video
*le frantic cursing on how perhaps that's why the fucking thing was only €60 🤬*
*takes out RAM*
> le server still not booting
*places RAM back without doing anything else*
> le server boots up again
Is this what they mean with things like "compile it again and somehow the compiler will not complain anymore after a while"?18
Y'know what I can't understand? People who knock and literally immediately come in. THEN WHATS THE FUCKING POINT OF KNOCKING9
Just wow. I am amazed by what just happened.
A year ago my parents decided to switch from desktop to laptop for convenience. Knowing their needs, i bought them one without an OS and installed Ubuntu 16.04 on it. The thing is that if you do a regular maintenance of the laptop once a year at their partner company, you get additional 4 years of warranty (this offer is amazing).
So today was the day I brought the laptop for this maintenance for the first time. They make you a profile on their support website where you can track shit regarding your device, super convenient. First thing I notice that the login page was not https. Awkward, but there is no sensitive data here so i let it pass. Naturally i forgot my password, so I requested a new one and guess what? I recieved it in plaintext via mail. A tech repair oriented company does this, my god.
I went there, gave them the laptop in question and got a piece of paper, where they wrote that the laptop is in their hands now, and the current physical state of the laptop, and blabla.
I got home and I read what the guy wrote among other things: THE OPERATING SYSTEM IS NOT LEGAL.
How the fuck is Ubuntu not legal??? What the fuck is this shit? I sure as hell didn't torrent it or bought a booteged copy on the streets.12
A story about an Android TVbox which decided to become an iPad
Several years ago we've bought an android tv-box.
It served me and my family well for several years.
Specs are not that important in this story, but there they are:
Amlogic quadcore 1.4HGz
This device served us well - online TV, browsing, music, file sharing and so on. But recently cheap Chinese memory deciteed to take a break and damaged ROM. Because of that device won't boot. The only option was to take it apart and "short circuit" certain legs on memory chip and make it boot from SD card and install new firmware. After such operations tv-box worked well again.
Hoverer, memory glitched again and again and this algorithm was repeated for several months.
But that is not what is this story about.
One day memory went completely crazy and there was no way to install new firmware on it. It just hanged on install. (BTW, it was official firmware for this device)
But after countless attempts it finally worked! It installed the firmware and booted into launcher and connected to WiFi!
But now comes the most interesting part.
It was not android anymore.
It decided to became an iPad.
My dad logged in to his Google account via tv-box and got mail that someboby connected from our IP via iPad (we don't have an iPad) and using safari browser! Stock browser is not safari browser.....
"Ok, nvm, crazy glitch." - we thought.
But preinstalled play marked wont launch. Because he told us, that we're trying to connect from iPad.
And Google chrome page suggested to download chrome for iPad
And everything was acting like it is an iPad.
OK, downloaded iTunes, why not??? ._.
Tried to install elixir for android via apk from flash, but then memory glitched one more time, everything went black and tv-box had damaged ROM again...
After that we decided to not torment it anymore...
That's it. Poor Android TVbox that all his life dreamed to become an iPad. Rest in peace.3
In my current work, I have two systems to work on (let's name em Systems A and B). Both basically do the same thing; both allow users to book facilities available to them.
System A is already in production. My job is to fix any bugs that come up on said system. System B is an improved version that they wanted me to develop. This would follow a different framework etc. I am already halfway through this system.
Now, here's the fucked up part. The code for system A is a massive clusterfuck. It has unused commented code dated back to ancient times where men had the brain of an ape.
And don't get me started on the fucking logic. One part of the code was to retrieve and display the timeslots available for a chosen facility. The code to do that alone takes up 500++ fucking lines, filled with ajax commands, html manipulation and commented, unused codes..AND THAT'S JUST THE FRONTEND!
The fucking backend was not a problem of smelly code anymore. Nope. It was like a programmer had code diarrhea and shat his backend code all over the project. If I had a pin board, I would have made a crazy wall just to understand what some fucknut was trying to achieve.
Anyway, my supervisor told me to fix some bugs on System A. Knowing how the code was, I told her that I could refactor the code. Since I've already achieved that function on System B, with a shorter and cleaner code, I could just copy that and use on System A. But nope. She SPECIFICALLY told me to just "do whatever to fix the bugs. I don't want to waste time on System A." Okay. Makes sense to me. Whatever. I didn't wanna fuck my head up looking through that mess of a cesspool. So, I came up with a few hacks, not thinking of clean code and fixed whatever bugs there was. I then just pushed to the repo (after testing of course).
This bloody morning, supervisor came in and gave me more bugs to fix. When I thought she was done, she said "Hey. I saw the fix you made to the system. The bugs are fixed but the retrieval of the timeslots is now pretty slow. Could you see what is the problem?"
Slow.. She said that it was slow. And asked if I could fix it. I already told her what the problem was and she did not want me to waste time on it. But she wants me to fix it. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG IN HER BLOODY HEAD! I SWEAR TO GOD... UGHHHHH I swear I was already waterboarding her in my head. YOU WANT FAST?? How bout fucking allowing me to refactor the code?? Fucking shit head. I think I should take up yoga.1
teaching myself pointers right now
here is my learning process right now:
1. what even is this
2. wow this is neat
3. why does this even exist
4. what even is this
Can you hack facebook?! (been asked this by classmates in CS class, multiple times by different people)
(Needs to quickly research something)
A = me
A: Can I borrow someones internet (hotspot)
B: Yeah sure, but it's only for facebook
A: -_- *sigh*
Can you pirate Windows/Word/Adobe thing for me? (asked gazilions of times even by family members, fuck off! Will you?)
A = me
B = my grandpa
*TV looses signal because fucking blizard outside*
B: A! Stop fucking with my TV, come and fix this!
A: What's the problem?
B: I can't find *some channel*.
A: B, there's a blizzard outside.
B: No it was you fucking with it.
A: *sigh* (proceeds to fix his crap, oh wait I can't) It's gonna be fixed tomorrow.
(I didn't even look at the TV more than 2 minutes monthly)
Guess what, it fucking works again.
Here's a different scenario:
B still can't access the channel because he's been fucking with the settings, again.
B: A! Come here, right now.
A: What is it this time!
B: You broke it, now fix it.
A: *silent uuuuggghhhhh*
A: *does a channel scan* *waits 30 minutes waiting for it* Done!
B: Don't fuck with my stuff ever again!
....so this is the kind of people I have to tolerate, every single day.
A = my dad (who knows a bit but not too much, you'll see, buisness guy 9000, does paperwork every day)
B = me or my brother
A: *comes raging at A's door, looks like he's gonna ground A* STOP PUTTING FUCKING GAMES ON THE FAMILY COMPUTER!
B: Why do you have a problem with games?
A: Cause I need to do *some important shit, probably that needs a basic spreadsheet software*
B: Can't you do it on the mac?
A: It doesn't have Word©®™!
B: But it does Libreoffice, right?
A: I can't. *he can, he's just being lazy with learning new stuff*
B: Can't you use my laptop?
A: It's Linux.
B: Can't you use my brothers laptop?
A: It's filled with games.
(he hates games with a burning fucking passion)
B: Fine, let me take a look at the computer.
(A uninstalled crap that took me multiple hours to install, but not only that he deleted some of my work)
B: *silent what the shit?!*
A: WHAT WAS THAT?!
B: nothing, phew.
(A also installed shadyware that some random coworker suggested him from a random ass ad, meanwhile I keep the PC's pure with known stable software (which are gone btw))
B: *Spends the whole day removing the fucking disgust that one program fucking caused (sometimes even the fucking registry, eww)*
A: I had to wait all day for this shit. Don't fuck with my the PC ever again!!!
Fucking hell am I just unlucky or what?13
Our PM is on vacation. And our CTO/CEO takes control of the PM role.
So today he decided it was time to just start a customer change request. Regardless of the customer not having approved the actual solution and estimate.
He just said that he did not want to waste any more time talking to the customer. Now they are gonna get what ever he thinks they want.
I predict this to backfire in a fabulous way. What could possible go wrong🤔4
Disclaimer: searching for a self hosted Spotify alternative but haven't found one yet so suggestions are very welcome!
I really don't get how spotify's music algorithms or whatever the fuck you'd call those (you get what I mean) work.
- Whenever I click on the button which should make a song not appear in my daily mix anymore, I hear it again within a fucking day.
- how the fuck does the getting you new songs which you might like work?! I'm a huge rawstyle fan and mostly listen to, surprise surprise, rawstyle.
Then why in the living fuck keeps Spotify coming up with euphoric/melodic hardstyle tracks?! I like those sometimes but only *sometimes*.
More and more often I have to skip through 20-30+ songs to get one raw song instead of a fucking euphoric one.
Replies from their support are non existent.
It's getting so fucking annoying.21
Oh my fucking god... I am looking at this code written by a previous developer and he put the passwords in plain in an array in a PHP file, like WHAT WHERE YOU THINKING? (btw that's also how he checks the password, just check whether it's in the array)
What the hell @Apple
I know autocorrect / suggestions is getting worse every day but this doesn’t even remotely come close ☠️4
Just set a cron on a coworkers machine to play "What does the fox say" at max volume at 8 when he's the only one here.
May need to review the security footage in the morning.2
Usually, I work that way :
1. Read the documentation
2. Try stuff
3. Fuck it doesn't work.
4. Oh no 😢
5. THIS THING IS HORRIBLE I DON'T WANT TO WORK WITH IT SOMEONE HELP BEFORE I COMMIT SUICIDE
6. - "You should look at this :"
7. "WOW THANKS GOOD IDEA"
8. Yeay it works!
9. Oh wait, why does it work?
10. What the f*ck 🙃 it doesn't work anymore
11. Oh I get it
12. THIS THING IS AMAZING I SHOULD USE IT MORE OFTEN5
I don't go to the doctor and tell him what tools to use. I was just told to delete the .scss files because they were taking up too much room and to put all partials and images at root instead of in descriptive folders.3
Dad: [this company] is coming to town soon.
Me: I know
Dad: yeah maybe you can get a IT job
Me: I dont do IT
Dad: You never know what you do until you do it.
Me: *getting an aneurism from sheer ignorance*
I DO IT EVERY DAY HOW WOULD I NOT KNOW WHAT IM DOING THAT I EVEN WENT TO SCHOOL FOR?17
Got a new job this week with a huge raise at an awesome new company! It's wonderful being paid what you're worth! Now if the current company can just fire me so I can have a two week vacation, that'd be great.11
I have a VPS for under a year from Digital Ocean. No idea what to do with it.
Debian 8.9 x64
A spare domain from Namecheap
Tutorials on the Internet.
They say you have to enter a 12 Character long hexadecimal number.
AND THEN THEY PUT A "G" IN THERE?
WHAT? ARE YOU STUPID OR SOMETHING?3
*finishes university exams*
*gets to code after a long time*
*cannot remember what the code does that was written a few weeks back*
Everytime I hear "there's a problem" in my office I cringe so bad I have the impression I'm making holes in my teeth.
I hate this "janitor" / "plumber" role I have here, so insulting in terms of brain power.
** randomly codes something **
** colleague breaks silence **
C: Phlisg? There's a problem.
Me: what now?
C: Well when I enter a title that is 500+ characters for my blog post, it breaks the layout.
Me: obviously the title is too long. Shorten it.
C: I can't because [reasons] (unfortunately true reasons)
Me: ** deep sigh ** yeah, will look at it... ** proceeds to hide anything longer than 10 characters **
--- 3 days later
C: Phlisg? there's a problem.
C: the text is too short, can you make it longer
Me: ** FFS ** guys, you should've asked for a "Word-type" website if you just wanted to do any kind of layout. No, can't, sorry. Choose either between broken layout or shortening your damn text.
-- 1hr later, pm comes in
PM: Text is too short
Me: Yep. Any longer will break everything visually
PM: can't you fix this?
Me: Yes I can, but it'll be a whole CSS revamp because it was not MEANT that texts should be so long.
PM: How many hours?
Me: ** overestimating ** 10 hours (2.2 days of work)
PM: nah, okay, just add it as a side project
** me, inside : WOW, WHAT A FUN PROJECT OMG **10
Him: you know, I can recommend you a book, if you're into reading?
Me: well, I don't have that much time to read, I prefer online tutorials
(We're interrupted at that point)
(Later at dinner)
Me: which book were you gonna recommend me btw
Him: there's this psychology book I'm reading...
What. The. Actual. Fuck.
My co-workers just tried to convince me that the following is a secure password:
Just... I mean... Why? *sigh*
Their argumentation is based on the new NIST guidelines.
If they've read these guidelines CAREFULLY though... (not only the appendix) it actually states "Don't use words from the dictionary". Passwords like these should even be rejected right away.16
Me: So, tell me more about what you want me to code.
Friend: Well... Do something nice.
Friend: I don't know, I thought you're the expert...
Me: You motherf...1
What manner of imbecile writes a password reset function that passes the email and password as god damn query parameters, in the email link....1
Me : *writes a clean class to write logs into event viewer with different categories, and useful information for debug*
Boss: “I’m not a developer but I think that’s useless, just create a log table on a sql server and put everything there.”
I’m asking myself what keeps me here. What, the holy Christ’s butthole fuck, keeps me fucking glued to this chair.8
I enjoy listening to Metalcore while coding. It really helps me calm down and focus/concentrate (the irony of that whilst having someone scream right into my ears 😂). It also helps me chill and regulate my emotions better. Am I weird? What helps you focus and code better?32
Friend: Hey, so what do you do?
Me: I build backend systems and apis. I work with java/mongodb. I dable into some elixir and kotlin on my free time.
Friend: Cool, can you build me an Android app?11
GUYS I HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT TO MAKE:
Apparently Windows Explorer is an internet browser and a lot of websites only work on it
I fucking hate this dude, he CLEARLY doesn't know what he's talking about9
The FCC Chairman is going ahead with his plan to repeal net neutrality despite objections from fellow commissioners, the CTO, more than a hundred members of Congress, senators and of course, the people.
What the fuck is wrong with this guy? How far up your own fucking ass does your head have to be to ignore basically everyone's vote against you? What the fuck. This guy is a really piece of fucking work. I hope this bounces back to bite him in the ass real hard.27
What if we were the AI created by God to automate repetitive tasks and now we are making AI to automate those repetitive tasks and this goes on and on until the world gets a stack overflow.9
So I've got this raspberry pi 3 and no inspiration what to use it for.. and it bugs me, just sitting there taunting me: -"you aren't very creative are you?" So.. ideas and suggestions?23
Hey guys I just installed Arch Linux and a desktop environment, I don't know what to do with my life now...10
Asked my boss what a public and private key is. His response?
Boss: A private key is the key to your house and a public key is a key to the toilets.3
Tldr; make sure what you study is relevant to the field and you enjoy it otherwise don't waste your time.
BTW: devrant is awesome it gets me through the day.
So I am almost 3/4ths through a master's in cs and I am contemplating why I went to school in the first place/dropping out.
My program is basically an extension of the bs I got from the same school meaning we learn very general cs topics. There is only one ai class for example.
I had a junior developer position before I even got my bs so now that I am this far along and looking at job openings I'm wondering what why and how my school is able to get away with teaching us this shit.
After all my schooling I learnt more on my own and through Google. I have little to show for my school work other than a degree that says I did a bunch of busy work. And the specific things that I did learn I will never ever remember. Seriously. Who here knows what a MIB and OID are and have actually used them?
I wish I tried harder to get into a school like Berkeley but just looking at their applications is depressing. I always had issues with school and they expect my to have the grades, extra curriculars and other shit. I'll build you a robot or make you a website but I'm not doing that nonsense.
And then there's Google and apple and all these big tech companies expecting me to have written full Enterprise software and know every single algorithm and programming language because everyone uses something different. Sure I wish I had experience in all 50 languages that are popular right now but I don't. And I'm not gonna learn it from school that's for damn sure.
Who here actually went to a good school and can say it helped them in the real world? How many employers actually care about school over actual experience?
Who knows how to burn a school down and get away with it? Or at least make teachers with Phds stop reading off slides all lecture. I know how to fucking read for fucks sake. Not too mention they use shitty software made in 2003 that's no longer supported. And I could go on about the teacher last quarter who graded the midterm on final day while he flirted with the 3 girls in class. And I could go on and on and on but I feel like I need to start being productive so I don't waste away.
Just so done.4
Back then, whatever finished tasks I have done, our CTO always contradicts my idea and finds a way to humiliate me. I don't get the point why he did that. Probably, he didn't want me to excel at something or he really does have crab mentality. I already reported this issue to our CEO because I was being harassed and submitted my resignation letter.
And boom! Guess what? It looks like our CTO just stepped a chicken manure and treats me nicely like a princess.
P.S. To be honest, it took him like a couple of months to step down and act normal like nothing happened. Really appreaciated the A-ffort, though!10
What if devRant made this app just to see how to improve their own company without looking like shit?1
So I have a chrome extension, and someone reviewed it. At first she gave me one star, and wrote "extension is not working, bad UI, not good!" And ten minutes later, she gave me five stars and wrote "good extension, good features, working fine, good UI, loved it".
I saw this a week after, and I wonder: what happened in these ten minutes?6
Told juniors about coding guidelines that don't put another if-else just to fix a bug. Think through about it and see if you can come up with better solutions.
Today one bug was filed, they asked what happened, one junior said that he [my name] asked me for no if-else in code. He kinda deleted all if-else in codebase and started using same implementation for everything.
I'm standing with a WTF face.
Was just told by a guy in my class proudly, “yeah, I’m pretty good at typing. It comes in handy for when I code stuff in class.” Awesome, that’s cool. I ask what he’s doing in the class. “We learned Scratch last semester and now we’re starting Java.” -______-6
Started a new job this week.
Just learned that my manager strictly prohibits while loops and "if else" statements.23
When you face the dilemma of wanting to share devRant with your friends but face giving up your anonymity....also, what if you forget you ranted about them and they find out? Hmmm.....4
So I had to implement something which I didn't know as a part of my internship. What do you think I did?
15 hours worth video lectures in two days :x3
Fun drinking game: work on a legacy system for a few hours. Every time you say "what the fuck?" equals 1 shot.5
Client:we want dynamic mapping of network and packet flow visualization like;packet tracer simulation
Us: is 2D visualization enough.
*fast forward after first demo*
Client: now make it 3D with pipes representing cable.and packets flowing through them like water.
I had the weirdest dream. Michael Cera was a developer I was working with. I had a meeting with him and discovered that he spoke 3 different Indian languages fluently.9
Just got AWS free subscription, had fun for 30 mins. Now I don't know what to do with it. Can someone give me idea for something to do with it.21
So this just happened. Some background before I begin: We're understaffed, my desk is in the back of the building, and there's no one really at the front to greet people. No security either...
Guy walks in wearing a flannel jacket (no shirt under it), pajama pants, and sandals. He looks like hell. Explains he was just released from a hospital and his apartment is locked. I let him use my phone to call his sister.
When I talk to his sister, she barely wants to speak with him. Tells me his apartment is locked for a reason and he's not allowed back. I'm just like: "So... what would you have us do for him?" At this point if his sister won't help, I was going to ask him to leave. Oh, and that hospital was a drug rehab.
So it ends with him waiting for a ride, but he ends up napping on the couch in the front of our office. CEO/Owner and his business partner walk right past and say nothing. They go into a meeting. I'm trying to figure out if I ask him to leave, wait outside for his ride... I'm a developer, this isn't my job.
A good 45-60 minutes later, after the guy walked outside and then came back in and laid back down on the couch, he leaves with his ride. Shortly after the owner walks out of his meeting, so I ask him what to do in this situation - more hoping he'd realize the need for more security.
If this story isn't crazy enough, the business partner pipes up - absolutely serious - and says he didn't say anything because he thought the guy was a developer.
So I've learned that we've got extremely low hygiene standards for developers here, with a relaxed dress code and are allowed nap times on the front couch.
Thankfully our CYBER security is better than our PHYSICAL security. :|1
I've been wondering what tech will be like in 50 years time,
I can only imagine it will be insane compared to today's tech.
I mean we have only really had 30 solid years or so of computers in people's hands. And the world is.. absolutely different . And really 20 years of internet (when it's been properly mainstream)
If your 20 now you have about a 50-60% chance of being able to see 2070
I think I really want to see that.
I promise I ain't high 🤔6
met a client yesterday to discuss about the coming task. After discussion, we agreed that I will develop the API for the system in one month. I did the planning and posted the upcoming tasks in Trello. Today, he told me some of the tasks have been done by his staff and asked me if I can continue the remaining tasks and get it done in one week. Hey, bro, what you want!? it is not what we agreed! do you think i can understand the code that your staff wrote, with poor documentation and structure, in few hours and immediately start working on it, yet deliver everything with high quality? come on...5
An IT guy told me during a phone meeting set up to talk about how he builds these web forms on a dumb CRM for a client of ours that he has been an IT professional for 25 years.
He says he doesn't know much about the codey stuff.
What do IT professionals do again?8
Why in the world IT work is so stressful?
I never been like that since I start developing code professionally, 8 years ago.
Since then, I had many health problems due stress, and some were really scaring (heart problem).
I'm trying to adapt to a healthier way of work, but I'm starting to doubt if that is possible.
Work in technology seems cruel and soulless sometimes. The constant pressure to learn new things all the time, to specialize in a lot of skills, simultaneously. The urgency nature of ALL tasks - even a simple form field slightly out of place seems to be an issue of life and death for clients.
Easy and quick communication made some people lost boundaries and respect. Many times I received calls and messages after midnight, about things like elements alignment.
And the worst is when clients blame you about their business problems. If they are not selling well this week, it's fault of the website you did ( which they are using for months now).
This actually happened to me today, first thing in the morning. After I slept just 3h, because I worked until late yesterday (oh yeah many more of these life/death updates).
What happens in this industry? Will this ever be different some day?8
At what point can you say you are a programmer of a language? Is there an exact amount of lines of code carved in stone somewhere? I call myself a Python Programmer because even know I am self tought, I have been working with the language for years and I am very good with it. "Professional" level by some accounts, though I wouldn't go as far to say that myself. I have been working with Java a couple of weeks and it has been going very well, but I wouldn't call myself a Java programmer, but should I? At what point does one pass that line?
Idk.. Just a little shower thought for ya. What do you think?29
On any given morning, when I"m not quite sure what to tackle first.... there's always:
sudo apt update
Ahh, now I feel like I did something.
"dude! are you hacking!?"
shutup, haven't had coffee yet.
"How do we share access to two-factor authentication."
What you mean is "how do we defeat the purpose of multi-factor authentication."4
I finally got to updating my old laptop when I saw a post about Ubuntu 18.04 being released. What do you guys think of it?8
Ok, so I already asked when junior is no longer a junior..got mixed answers. Now I'd like to know what defines seniority level in your country?! Years of experience, having wide range of knowledge, great leadership skills, having boobs (joke).. ?!? But seriously, I have no clue what the standards in my country are, and internet is full of different opinions & examples that are making me wanna go cry in a corner.. o.O
Figured some answers from real people might help me get my head around this, so if it's not too much to ask fellow devs here, please answer this questions to help me grasp this better with examples..& non dev folks, you are welcome to comment too!!
A) What country are you guys from?
B) How is seniority defined there?
C) How are you placed by others?
D) If different, where would you place yourselves? Why?13
Does anyone know what the Boolean Pythagorean Triples problem or the Ramsey Theory? I read about it while reading an article on brute reason, a kind of compliment to brute force...8
Now that the Phone has a custom rom with root, with only a little issue with some split screen nonsense I'm finally ready to use my phone like a normal ph- OH MY GOD WHAT IS THIS? WHERE THE HELL ARE MY BLOBS? WHAT THE FUUCK!?
Good thing that I rooted with Magisk and I could flash the blobs https://forum.xda-developers.com/ap...9
Password too long - only the first 8 characters will be used
Part 2 of this rant: https://devrant.com/rants/933393/...
Today I received the source code of the application, it has like four views but guess what, all four views have their controllers in one controller.js file that is about 1400 lines of code.
Also all their data models are in one file,
everything is in one file.
Does anyone know how to make it through that shit :(16
I fucking hate people that talk bad about things they know nothing about.
The best thing that I have learned is to always keep my mind open.
From "Linux sucks because there is no software" to "MacBooks are just for rich morons" to "All Microsoft tech is shit" to "CS degrees are just a bunch of useless math" to "Bing sucks".
Fuck, what do you know?? You never spent 5 minutes to try them or get informed about them. You have your shitty ideas and will keep having them because you don't care about the truth... You only care about your comfort zone.
Yes, Bing sucks. I tried it. Google shows me better results.
iPhone might suck. I don't know. Never had the opportunity to try one for long enough.
Whenever you're throwing shit at something, stop and ask yourself: do I know the whole story?11
Before I was unceremoniously laid off by a shit company in which they tried to blame shit on me I was working on a opencv implementation of a proprietary document scanner.
I finished the Android prototype and was working on the ios implementation. It was left unfinished in the ios version because I was building it in swift and obj c to compare code bases.
They launched a shit unfinished Android app of their product without the scanner (they could not add the scanner lels) and have not been able to do shit on the ios version.
I did not give them the Android prototype. There was no binding contract that specified that what I developed was theirs. There is no record of anything.
The scanner? Is still in my phone and I still have the built project in my mac.
Unless them cheap assholes decide to pay another engineer for the opencv implementation, their vbscript php non theory knowing shit lead will have to figure out the required mat obj c swift java cpp code needed to build it.
Today I was working on a laptop. I needed to uninstall a program because i had to install the newest version of it. That process usually takes 2 hours, but 3 hours passed and the uninstall was still at 35%. I went on the task manager to see if I could figure out what is running on the laptop, that's when I saw this.... This laptop has been on for 314 days. This cannot be a normal thing to do on a laptop specially when running Windows. Why do this?7
I'm currently working in call center. Making them a management system for agents. I'm the only developer there. No one asks about the progress even the owner doesn't know a thing about softwares. This gives me a freedom to do work when I want and how fast I want. But because of this I don't care anymore about the little things. and I have adopted some bad programming habits during my stay. Should I quit or what?6
Hey all... I have a question...
So, I m really burnt out of coding (C++ guy here)... I have always been learning something but never built anything... I really wanna make some game or something but it jst takes soooo long... M really lacking motivation and m soooo through learning stuff for now...
Please suggest what do i do? (Cant change language... I find all others boring... No offense)12
That moment when you're dragged to a meeting with a group planning a dating app with custom avatars, discuss about what art style to use (realistic vs cartoonish) and the guy in the suit casually mentions he doesn't understand how there are people attracted to "hentai" and its related art styles.
Long time no rant from me. Sorry guys, has been a tough time for me.
Little background: I'm an apprentice and as such definitely not a fully trained professional. I'm working in a big company with people who have very let's say interesting ideas what I should be able to do.
This whole disaster begins shortly after I started my apprenticeship. I was offered to choose my first little project. "Something from the backlog, not very challenging and a nice beginner one. It's just about a PoC" ok, le me thinks. I choose to make a weather display.
Basic functionality was provided within the next 3 weeks. My direct boss (let's call him Jo) liked it and talked to his boss (Hugo) about it. Hugo was so excited he called our product manager to get my plugin into our software asap and began to think about where else we could use this.
This is where shit went downhill. Hugo told me it was my task to implement it on a totally different platform and to "host it in azure". I don't know much about azure and I never used it. I told him that I'd need time and some kind of sandbox to try and learn how things work. He promised but nothing ever came through. Not even Jo could do something about this.
They told me I should write this asap because "every customer would LOOOOVE this" and I honestly can't think of a way to meet all their requirements without access to our azure system/ sandbox. (There are a lot of requirements)
Am I wrong? Should I be able to do this? I'm a fucking trainee. I don't know everything.9
I don't know if I should cry or laugh...
Our CMS is a CMS as a Service. So, our providers, for me they all suck, everytime they make a development, everything breaks.
Today's flash news?
Well, basically any page containing some user-made dynamic objects are **empty**
But not only on our site, on their whole network of clients that use their CMS. Everything is broken.
They release new features (I should call them bugs rather) every week, and yesterday's update concerned these pages.
And for the record, they don't test. They wait that we come back and complain to see if their shitty development worked or did not.
This CMS is even worse than your first project in HTML - I mean, your first word document on your mama's computer when you were 3.
Seriously. What kind of non-quality is this?8
I had a USB WiFi dongle installed and working great. Then someone pulled it out of my computer, without talking to me, so they could use it. I found another in the office...exact same model...plug it in. Drivers don't work. Can't update them. Reinstallation crashes. Try to restart computer, it crashes. Restart computer and now Outlook won't even open. No idea what to do now, but this is going on an hour and counting of no productivity.
WTF Windows? You can't even handle a WiFi dongle right?3
I see you did this raspberry pi project and this is why we called you in for an interview.
Have you done any projects that's relevant to the company? Because your pi project isn't exactly what we're looking for
I know we advertised back end and front end roles for this position. You would be ideal for the front end position ...but our team is backend and the front end position would be at another office
I am so frustrated with companies like these
When a client sends you an email with multiple question marks "????" Just because you havent answered an email solely stating "ok thanks" in the past 24 hours.
What am I even supposed to do with that dude?
PS we need to fix some stuff on his wordpress website thingy to which we agreed literally a day ago. First of all do you really expect we magically fixed everything today even or ehm at least try to be friendly instead of just sending a bunch of question marks thank you very much3
A new administrative assistant joined the company I work at. I presented myself and told her that I'm doing devops. After a couple of days she sent me a massage asking for my assistance. Very curious of what could that be I approached her workstation, and then she told me her mouse is not working and asked me to fix it.2
Rant time. So, me and a few classmates finally finished and handed in a website for a web development class a few days ago. Before we handed it in, we had a meeting with the professor to discuss what we still needed to do.
Us: Are we missing anything?
Prof: Nope. Looks good. Just make sure you have stylus implemented.
Us: Cool, thanks.
We got our grade back today. We didn't do as great as we'd hope, and here's one of the comments that the professor left us:
"You forgot to implement all of the CRUD operations. -4"
WHAT THE **** IS THAT? We asked you if we were missing anything, and you said no. You reminded us about stylus, which we looked at ONCE in a 13-week class, but you failed to remind us that we needed all of the CRUD ops?2
After 2 years in a small company as an all around software developer (started with xamarin for Android/iOS, then Unity, then OpenXML, augmented reality, virtual reality and .Net MVC...yeah all that and lots more) I changed to another company and I'm here 1 month and some days. I am super enthusiastic and I like it here!! They're more specific and professional, exactly what I need at the moment.
What is the problem, you might ask?
I was given some projects, I have done most of the work but now an issue arrived. I did almost everything and now we're waiting for some answers needed before closing the projects. And I get bored. I want to work!! I need to continue the streak! Just give me something and I'll make it happen!! I am boreeed!!
What is wrong with me? Am I buggy or something?2
Co-worker: At my last job "I was technically lead dev", so don't mind me telling you what to do and criticizing every line of code you write. (He said that in finger quotes. I am also paraphrasing the last part, but you get the gist).
Me: So the fact that we are both level 3 programmers means nothing?
Co-worker: Exactly! See you understand!
Me in my mind: What a prick!
Just a little context there aren't any lead devs at our company, our boss doesn't want any. Also we have been working at this company together for 3 years, and this co-worker just said that to me today, WTF?16
if false? if false what? (false is just not defined, but this is the sort of shit I come across in the twig-theme-saas world, makes me angry)5
How many bits are in a nibble?
....I did not know, nor did I know what a nibble was...WITHOUT LOOKING IT UP.....any takers?4
You know, I really like my Redmi 4x. It's a nice and inexpensive phone and perfect for me. Now I wanted to get the most out of my phone by rooting it, which was going to be easy.
I thought. And lord almighty was I wrong.
First of all, to even get to root it you have to unlock the bootloader. To do that you have to use a tool that they've made. Good! An official way to do so would surely be good, I thought. But to actually use the tool you have to be logged in to their service on both the tool and your phone. Then, and get this, you have to submit a written application as to why you would want to unluck the bootloader.
Ohh but it didn't stop there. I did so and months passed without me getting any info from them what so ever. When trying the tool it would just tell me that they hadn't reviewed my application.
Today I tried again, and something new happened. It told me that I hadn't synced my accounts. Which I promptly did because it's progress.
I tried for what should be the final time, aaaand I get this. This according to the forums means I have to wait 72 hours to be able to do it.
But it's progress, right?
So, on Wednesday (2018.2.28) I went to the local buddhist temple for some Zanzen lessons for beginners. Let me just say, that I am in love with it.
Zanzen is quite relaxing and makes you learn about yourself from the inside. It teaches you self control. The meeting at the temple felt quite different from a typical sunday morning at the church. At first, there was no person blabbering on about something and I didn't feel like I was about to fall asleep of boredom. There was also no feeling of urgency, like we're hanging on a string above a botomless firepit.
The buddhist monk did not tell us what to believe in, which was quite unusual. When I think of a religion, I usually think that the first thing that they would teach you about, is what to believe IN. But, it was never the case. They just told what not to do when performing Zanzen and told us that we should repeat it often to get better at it. Self discovery is important.
From now on, I will be attending these Zanzen sessions every week, cause I am very interested in them.1
A one of my co-workers today said he once witnessed a 20,000 line SQL query. Is that even a thing? What does it do?9
Hey there 👋
I am more or less throwing any burden (WhatsApp, Facebook, Google etc.) out of my life. Of course I will continue using the Google account for YouTube and some games that need it.
That's what it looks like right now:
Raspberry Pi 3B+
- forum - complete (atm just for me)
- blog - no ideas and just installed october cms and nothing done yet
- nextcloud - complete and filled with my porn... eeh... data
(missing spamassassin, clam or sth. like this but it's working 😂)
(as an additional alternative to messengers)
Raspberry Pi 2
✅ catches dust
Of course, many more configurations and the like are necessary before everything is ready... but what then or what else is there?
At the moment I still use WhatsApp. Just wanna take time before sending everyone a message about changing the messenger and that it should be important for thinking about the own privacy, which alternatives there are bla...
Edit: For passwords I'm using Myki - didn't hear anything bad about it yet and it's very easy to use (Firefox add-on, Android app).
I love my passwords with 200 characters 😂
Maybe someone's knowing more about them?
Hope I didn't forget a thing... thanks in advance aaaaaaand... I'm gone. ☺23
Person: I need documentation for your program.
Me: Program isn't done yet.
Person: We want it anyways.
Me: Everything I document in dev will be drastically different once it's completed.
Person: Yes, we want documentation of what doesn't work so we can refer to it later for help.3
On a doomed project. Nobody seems to know what anyone was suppose to have done last week, or the plan for this week.
I've warned them more times than I can count.
I could help, but I'll just sit here with my feet up, eating a snickers and watch them panic1
[SERIOUS ADVICE NEEDED, PLZ HELP]
I am going to school again for like 4 days from tomorrow (don't ask me why, blame the government) and I feel a bit depressed. I just don't know what I have done in the last 2 years.
What I learned:
- Bunch of stupid facts from devRant
- C# stuffs
- Games are expensive
- Music production
And.... that's it, tbh
I don't really have "PERSONAL PROJECTS" that everyone is bragging about, I just have bunch of empty projects with a cool name but just Program.cs in it.....
I am worried of what to do now.
I just feel I made the wrong choice going with C#.
I just feel I should have went with JS.
With JS, you can do
- React Native + Cordova + Titanium + etc and make native android/ios/wp apps
- The WWW stuffs
- Electron --> Cross platform desktop apps (win/mac/linux)
- UnityScript (deprecated, but whatever) --> Games
So, what I am seeing now is a thick fog in the way to my future + career etc.....
I am stuck rn.
Should I continue with my pace and learn more C# and the things I do rn, or change the language and start from scratch, or as a last resort, leave the "make stuff by coding" industry and go to music industry, or just go to the airport and do planespotting and upload in youtube to earn money?
Serious advice please, and no jokes about C# and JS. These languages may suck, but YOUR language may suck more.12
My friend wants me to post a question on SO coz he cannot as he is currently banned from asking too many questions(dats what he says). Moreover, the question he wants me to ask was already asked by him a month ago. He wants me to ask again as he didn't find a.solution.9
I was just told why the company's code has no documentation...
Quote: "It enforces devs to write simpler/better code"
Oh and added bonus - the whole backend is PHP with a bunch of tweaked libraries.3
What do you do for a living? I mean, since we're all in devRant, we are all programmers and developers here. But what do you specialise in and which language do you recommend for use in your field?17
I label all packages I know are coming as being for a company: Derp Industries. This is from an old in-joke between my friends and I. This tells me whether a package was something I ordered or not from the label (as I often forget I have a package coming.) However, I just got a call from a DHL driver asking me how long we'll be open. I, uh... I told him we close at 8. He said that's perfect, as he has to pick up from the local holding station at 5 and i'm his first stop.
I'm tempted to call back and tell him I'm just a dude living in a trailer...2
I've never been in the work place environment of a development company. What happens when there is a bug no one can solve, do you all huddle together and cry?6
Convo with me an my friend today (i purposefully left out my opinions and reactions):
Friend: i want to learn c#
Me: sounds good, but I'd go java if i were you
F: yeah but i want to do unity
M: sounds good, but I'd go with unreal engine if I were you
F: what language is unreal engine?
M: C++, but if you want to make apps, go with unity
F: yeah I want to make an android app
M: sounds good, but I'd try out renderscript if I were you
F: yeah I've used that before
M: oh really? What does it do?
F: I don't know
M: its for gpgpu because android game devs needed better performance
F: yeah I've used that
M: what does gpgpu stand for?
F: umm… i know what gpu stands for
M: okay dude, you didn't use it
F: yes I did, I made a cypher
M: dude, you didn't use it
F: yes I did!
M: what does gpgpu stand for?
*five minutes later*
M: *checks phone*
M: *sees text from friend*
Text from friend: dude it was general purpose gpu1
I'm a fresh school dropout (against my will) without any diploma. I've learned programming from self teaching since three years; mostly doing web and apps development with golang, and c#.
I've already done some small projects, helped a lot of people with code, do some freelance and I'm now trying to build a SAAS.
I don't know what I'm supposed to do now, I'm completely lost for my future. What would you do if you were in this situation ?4
Got this in Slack from the owner of the firm I work for...
I mean, you already pay me half of the average salary I should be making, but yeah, let me get right on that...
To be fair, I work with this guy because he is a really good guy to work for, is very hands-off (no micro-managing), doesn't expect me to work on the clock or any overtime and lets me make all the calls with our directions in development. Plus he pays me all he can afford, so it's not like he's trying to screw me (he shares the books with me to prove it).
But still, the dude has to realize you get what you pay for. You don't go to McDonalds if you want a gourmet burger...2
customer to one of my colleagues, after he is nearly done implementing his cookie banner: "So, what do I actually need this thing for?" - Eh, you never wondered this earlier? o.O
Got a new motherboard today, a Asus crosshair vi hero, AM4 for amd ryzen.
Bought is as broken / defective, it supposedly works except 2 ram slots should not get detected.
On a closer look, the story of water-damage didn't seem right.
Disassembled everything and took another look.
😲😨 "Is that solder tin? What the actual fuck?"
*Scratche it with tweezers
*"Supposed solder tin" becomes liquid and moves
😱 "The fuck that's liquid metal"
😵 Who the fuck sprinkles liquid metal all over a board?
😳Ryzen is solderd why the fuck should someone use liquid metal?
What the heck16
One of the colleagues I am close with is changing teams. They will still be around the company, in fact the office of the team they are going to is right by mine. It just sucks to lose a good developer and friend from the team.
Just found this today in the Terms for a VPN provider...
ARE YOU FUCKING JOKING?!? GO BOIL WHAT SMALL MAN JUNK YOU HAVE AND EAT IT.2
On the most serious of notes, and i need yall to think hard about this.
What makes you a good developer whether Backend or Frontend or Web or mobile.
What qualities actually make you a good developer?
I mean, we all use google, github, stack overflow etc. So what makes Programmer A better than Programmer B.
and in a more practical sense, ive been coding for two years now and i have deployed an API written in node and an instagram automation tool in PHP (which is down now due to lack of funds), i lack frontend knowldge (but i want to make up for that) and i have projects that when i finish, with my connections can and will blow up in terms of income. now you on the other hand, what makes you better than me?
and lastly, how much code do you have to change from an existing project, lets say from github for you to comfortably say, yes this is mine.8
Worked 2 weeks on hunting a memory leak on a product.
Ended up writing object tracker to find the leak(ironically it was in garbage collector). Found the leak and fixed it. It sounds cool but what I pushed was 9 lines commented out 1 line added for 2 weeks work..
Doesn’t feel very fulfilling to work for 2 weeks to comment out few lines. Only silver lining is that I might turn my object tracker into a library for colleagues to use.
P.s: not a linux or windows environment so tools like walgrind aren’t available.2
Man I currently have a burning hot passionate desire for physics. It actually gets me so damn excited. I mean it is basically damn magic ya know. But then I have a passionate desire for programming and that gets me excited. And then I have a burning desire for Math and that gets me excited as well. But I don't know what to push my life towards because I want to focus more on my ultimate goal. It's like having to choose between 3 amazing girls(not that I would know how that feels)4
Last year I wrote a sudoku program which did solve easy sudokus but messed up on harder ones. I had got bored after a bit and forgot about it until today I thought I'd rewrite it using new stuff I've learned since and make it work properly.
So I opened it up and look and I'm like 'WHAT!?' because I don't understand what I wrote. After a bit I start to get the idea and see that it was kind of smart even if long and complicated.
If anything, it shows how much my documentation skills have improved.
Now I just have to work out how to redo it in a way I understand.7
- assignment is to display a paragraph fit within a rectangle
- takes maybe 10 minutes to write
- 1 error preventing Xamarin Forms solution from building
- googles error and seems to be a version issue with a single package
- upgrade that single package
- 43 errors preventing solution from building
- reverts back to previous package version
- 76 errors preventing solution from building
- angrily turns off laptop and packs away things into laptop case
- talks shit about xamarin and all the annoying nuisances ive dealt with for this stupid mobile app class
- takes laptop back out because deadline is tomorrow and i have to make the solution build even though i want nothing to do with it
- laptop takes 2 hours and 14 minutes to load up Windows (no update or anything. Just me signing in like every other normal day)
- code builds first try without errors
- wait what the fuck
- concludes that i need only verbally intimidate electronics into submission from now on7
Since I have the most multi-use role in development I have ever seen its been so long since I've had to use actual JS that I've completely forgotten what I'm supposed to be doing with it.1
What if an enormous asteroid hits the entirety of earth and all our codebase, hardwork, passion, and js frameworks get wiped out?7
Get up early to try to figure out how to get my personal business off the ground.
I guess the first thing is respond to the stupid IRS and file my late tax returns as their estimation of taxes is just ridiculously incorrect.
Then figure out exactly why I incorporated and what to build.
Guess I am doing this backwards.2
am i getting grumpy and old? what the fuck does PRE_ORDER mean to you? you see, i thought it meant i ordered something - and it'd be sent to me on the release date. back in mYyYyyYYyy day - you paid for something, suppliers had it in stock before the release date, and then on release date you would get what you paid for. amazon (of course it's amazon, fuck amazon. fucked me over so many times in the past 2 years) says they dont have my item in stock. then WTF DID I PREORDER IT FOR? to top it off, even though they've been horrible 50% of the time for the past couple years, they offer me $10 off on my "order". ya, sure, okay. nope : $10 off future order. i don't wana fucking order from you! i actively avoid you!
fuck this world. why is everything shit anymore? why can't something just fucking work as fucking in-fucking-tended?
am i cursed? i've been good for a while. it's not karma. complete bs, why bother.6
Me: What if I use navigation props in EF Core, what might go wrong?
*tests API call*
*120 seconds later finally got result*
Me: I better undo my changes and stick with 2 seconds response time O_O
-----------Jr Dev Fucked by Sr Dev RANT------
Huge data set (300X) that looks like this :
( Primary_key, group_id,100more columns) .
Dataset to be split in records of X sized files such that all primary_key(s) of same group_id has to go in same file.
Sde2 with MS from Australia, 12 years of 'experience' generates an 'algo'. 70% Test case FAILED.
I write a bin packing algo with 100% test case pass, raises pull request to MASTER in < 1 day. Same sde2 does not approve, blocking same day release.
|-_-| What the fuck |-_-| Incompetent people getting 2x my salary with <.5x my work2
WTF?! I just dunno how to handle this error message.
Eh What!? I mean what?!
Will someone please catch that? I'll throw it to you...5
I woke up this morning thinking "what if Trovalds doesn't GPL-released Linux" and i got like all:
*Shooting stars music
Hey guys ! I'm currently working on a project to implement a simplest version of TinyDB on Z1 motes 😀
And you, what project are you currently working on ? 🤓11
So, my current company builds a ERP system hand has a far to complicated database with one k tables and over 2k procedures. I started working there 3.5 years ago, well, first 2.5 years were educational. But I was mostly doing support work. From time to time I was tasked to do some interfaces ( around 15 currently I think) but since a few month I am just completely fucked up and don't know what to do. I still don't really get how this fucking huge database is supposed to work. I have 2-3 interfaces alto implement at the same time. Then I should create a app to allow users to stamp the personal and assignment times. Also I was tasked to create a html5 webpage ( never did something like this before) for also stamping times and some additional data to create a service report for customers on the fly. And finally I should create a asp.net based website for a dashboard overview which should be customisabke by our customers, which I also never did before. In the meantime I also have around 10-15 support tasks a week, and I don't see myself getting anywhere near finishing anything. But I am getting constantly approached by the boss and my team leader for not really getting anything done, even though they have no idea what the other one told me to do. And my boss has no idea if time management, he asked me how long a feature of the app would take and I told him at least two days and somehow he told my colleague I would be done in 4 hours. So currently I am permanently stressed and slightly depressed and I have no idea what to do, and I am just afraid of losing my job, because I am not able to finish my tasks.1
The content of this file is called code or algorithm or instructions or coderithm or algode or instrude or algostruction2
I woke up today to work more on my project. When I looked at my code, this thought ran through my had "What the hell was I thinking yesterday? I don't even drink!"3
I'm not sure what to answer...
Found on SlimSocial for Facebook - Windows 10 Mobile (latest update😜)
What language do you use in production? I'm asking, because I heard of some Haskell based backends and I wanted to know if more non-mainstream languages are semi-comminly used in production?10
Has any of you reached a point that you want to resign from work because of a client?
We are dealing with a client at work that uses the app for prototyping instead of making designers create wireframe, imagine the amount of code to write,edit, remove, write it again and yet there is always something isn't right from the client point of view.
What is even worse backend guys screw the server and I am the one to be blamed for errors: 5xx
I even get blamed for error 400 (bad request) when that request passes tests but out of a sudden server returns 400, when you hit refresh the exact same moment of error and server decides to return data and stop throwing error 400.
I also get blamed for server fails to return data from a search endpoint, and if server throws 403 for a public endpoint.
This isn't a rant or getting out of my system but I need opinions, I've been working on this project for a year, with complete mess from either client or backend team, if any of you is instead of me, what would you do?
I'm not a complete guy either, but that situation is just beyond my abilities to handle.6
What the fuck is this piece of shit called Ubuntu? I was writing an automation tool on my local PC (ArchLinux) in c++ 17 (c++1z or whatever). Finished it today. Working and compiling so everything is fine. Went to my server, git clone, make.
Okay some errors because I havent installed my networking libs yet. So I installed them.
Error because I was using a c++ feature only available in c++ 17. But wtf. I told g++ I wanted to compile with c++ 17 support. I mean... On arch it compiled fine. On centOS it at least told me that it doesn't know c++1z (it was some really old centOS). BUT JUST TELLING ME ITS BECAUSE I SUCK AT PROGRAMMING?? THAT IS SO NOT OKAY. MY CODE IS LEGIT ISO C++ 17. FUCK UBUNTU. Installing Arch on my server now because I can't handle this shit anymore...16
Holy shit this is creepy.
So I just got back from a team event today from a location that was a few hours away and, while we were at the hotel there was a little cardboard box on our breakfast table with an ad on it. The slogan on the ad was “Bada book Bada boom” it was really dumb and I almost forgot about it, but just now I’m listening to pandora on a completely separate network, many hours away from the location and an ad comes on with the SAME SLOGAN for what I assume was the same company.
Now I’m just wondering how they managed to do that.... I really do not believe it was a coincidence considering I have never heard that ad on my pandora before....
This is fucking creepy1
!rant. Just trying to make people feel a bit better.
Ever thought "Ah crap, I have no idea what's going on with this code?" - then immediately second guessed your abilities?
You're not alone.
It's not just tiny projects in there either. Gnome is on the second page :-)1
Found a Junior Dev position for fresh graduates but requires 5+ years of Java programming. Hope I started Java when I was in high school.10
So... I let people around me who see me programing assume what they want to about my abilities, so when they asked if I could hack I decided to play a joke. I said "give me your phone and I'll show you your files and make your phone display a white for a few minutes" (phone was an Android with no lock on it), I do all that as I had an app that closed itself already built for other reasons... They said "cool, now hack that guys Facebook" .... people are gullible...
I am a student of Computer Science Engineering (Bachelor of Technology). I am 3 years into this 4-year course. I am strong in Data structures and Algorithms, and passionate to add more stuff to this list.
I am really done with this University coursework, and want to explore more (specifically, want to do something that is practical, and matters). I, obviously cannot leave the Uni, but I want to make my time at home more productive. Not just to me, but everyone.
1. I don't know where to start.
2. I teach myself everything, and hence, there is much difference between what I know and what people need, and I'm kind of scared of ruining/wasting other's time.
If there is someone out here who has the time out of his/her busy schedule to guide and set me on a path, please do help me. It's getting weird in my head.
Things I have done before:
* Developed a fullstack website for Indian Railways (going live in May 2019) [used Python for back end]
I have a sincere need from within to do this, and I am going to learn whatever more I need to, in order to fulfill your requirements. Please just show me WHAT and from WHERE.
Kindly do get back.3
I signed up for a web developer job... I am now making programs in VB.NET
This was not what I was expecting, however I am completely fine with it.
Crash course learning is fun. Just know that the first hundred programs i write will be really unoptimised.
So my girlfriend was trying to find another word for "whispered" and I just had to screenshot this ad...
Could someone tell me what its trying to actually scam people into?6
So, I've been asked to build a tool that scrape's one's Facebook friends and their friends. I (surprisingly) managed to get it done.
I don't know what to feel about this.3
So today's conversation with my co-worker who built our build system...
Me:OS X build server is not building valid installs.
Him:What's the problem?
Me:The KEXT is not rebuild... I think that Jenkins isn't capable of updating the file because of the permissions the script set when you test compiled it manually... Could you please add Jenkins user to sudoers file or something?
Him:Yes of course, but what should I google?
WTF dude? Do you even think yourself? And for some reason no-one has acces to the build servers configs exept for him and he shows up like 3 times a week...
Not a rant... But I have a question guys...
I am currently a student in 2nd year of college.
I have been using and learning C++ since like 4 years now and it is my truely favorite language. It just is a joy to work with. Tried others but couldn't handle them (no offense. Just a personal preference) so here is the question:
What should I do in future? Like which field would be most enjoyable?
Currently, I feel game programming is it... I do enjoy whatever puny game like thing I make way more than anything...
I also specifically enjoy creating backend stuff...
(I always end up creating mechanics for working of game engine but never creating the actual game... Like creating an asset manager or something but not using it).
By backend stuff, I mean something which requires me to think a lot as to how can I implement something and then implement it (again, in C++). And then another developer could make use of it.
I heard game development has a very low scope for growth and is very very tedious... Is it true? What route should I go to?
Btw, I enjoy building stuff from ground up, although ofc that doesn't happen haha...9
Won an Amazon Echo Show in a Hackathon where we spent most of the time integrating with Google Home.
I don't know what to do with the thing. 🤔3
I'm currently a PHP Developer and I want to learn a new language soon.
I have thought about learning .Net or C# or something third?
At the moment I'm also working with NodeJS and have a basic knowledge about that, should I just continue mastering that?
What should I go with? I don't really care much about how much money it can give and so on, just wanting to learn more :D15
Spent an hour the other night trying to remember how to keep a photos aspect ratio the same when using viewHeight. Wrote some js earlier completely unrelated to the image. Image quit displaying. First instinct, remove related css to see what happens. What do I do, cut rather than comment. Doesn't fix it, so do I repaste right away, nah to easy. Let's go fuck with the js file. Correct errors in the js file, image starts displaying again. Return back to my css doc, hit paste... half my js function appears 🤦🏻♂️
Client had me implement an exit intent modal on their website, inviting visitors to sign up to their mailing list when they moved to close the browser tab.
Client then had me implement an on page load modal which displays the poster for their upcoming event.
Client just emailed "Double popup happening!" with a screenshot of their website with both modals displayed at once.
Kicking myself for replying and explaining that this was expected behaviour in light of what they'd asked for instead of responding, simply, "Yes".1
Our company got bought over from a global private entity 3 months back (advent international) and the reciew process started and it turns out, im part of the bunch that may be getting retrenched as per the meeting we just had, our positions being redundant and just last week had a over the top performance review.. Now i need to figure out what to tell the family when i get home. This Fucking sucks im not going to lie2
Ah, npm... Lots of packages use ES6 syntax because it's nice to write, and then transpile to node-compatible code either with CI or a precommit script. Just spent a whole day trying to figure out what was wrong with my project, when it turns out I just had to tell webpack to ignore node_modules *except* for this specific package. Sigh.2
Can't use Mock to stub this 3rd party API's connection class, so gotta revert to HTTPretty. Again. I don't like using libraries with 4-years-old issues and playing guessing games with response formats. Le sigh...
Can't tell what the % weights are of my ignorance vs actual broken lib that are contributing to the issue.
Error: BadStatusLine: '' (die in a 🔥)
Oh no guys. I can't get into work!
I can't see other humans! What shall I do? Oh no! My social interaction quota!
A bad dev habit I should unlearn?
How about being too stubborn to take an idea out back and put it out of it's misery. You know what I'm talking about. Got some elegant idea in your head, it looks so pretty and masterful. You begin to implement it but straight away, things start looking pretty fucking ugly. You persist though, and persist.
Sooner or later that pretty idea looks like Donald and Hillary decided to spawn a love child. You close your eyes and grit your teeth, unwilling to put the abomination out of it's misery.
You stop and finally open your eyes to look at what you've done. A hideous beast with Gary Johnson's nose, Bernie's voice. Donald's hair, and Hillary's lips stares back at you. Yeah. Now you've wasted hours upon hours and only have a mistake worse than the 2016 American Presidential Election to speak for it.2
So I've been in this dilemma.
I'm a senior like around 10 days from graduation. And I know I wanna do programming but like I dont know what area I want to do..
And I've always wanted to make a game (I have a few ideas tbh) but I feel like if I do I'll be sucked into that only and not ever really program software or web apps..
Am I going to succeed? How can I be good enough to be a professional if the best thing I've made is a bit that barely has original code?4
what libraries, frameworks, third-party stuff, etc. does Python have? I need to know some and I will dive deep on it!9
Yesterday I tried Rancher on a DigitalOcean droplet.
Rancher itself was easy to startup and use. But I couldn't manage to find the Container Volumes on my NFS Server. Even the NFS Server was up and running.
I really felt like a monkey in front of my PC not understanding what Im doing.
The World Wide Web Consortium has, despite a lot of opposition and controversy, gone over everyone's heads and approved (without proper unanimous consent or compromise) DRM standards for the internet. What fun.
I'm 22 years old and 1.5 years into my first Startup Job. (and second Dev job)
I feel kind of uncomfortable now and I would like to ask your opinions.
I'll start with the work related description of my situation and later add a bit of my life situation.
I develop as hobby since I can think. I'm pretty engaged and love to do things right. So I quickly found myself in the position of the de-facto lead fullstack Developer.
Although, to be clear, were only a few devs - which are now replaced by not so many other devs. I feel often like the only person able to design and decide and implement in a way that won't kill us later (and I spend half of my time fixing technical debt).
I mostly like what I do , because it's a challenge and I feel needed. I learn new things and I am pretty flexible in work time. (but I also often work till late in the night, sacrificing friendship time)
But there are so many things I would love to do and used to do, but now I have no motivation to develop outside of my job.
I don't really feel that what my company is doing is something I find valuable. (Image rights management)
I earn pretty well - in comparison to what I'm used to: 20€/hour, Brutto 2.800 / month for 32 hours a week. In Berlin. (Minus tax and stuff it's 1.800€). It's more than enough for what I need.
But when I see what others in similar positions earn (~4.000), I feel weird. I got promised a raise since nearly a year now. I don't feel I could demand it. I also got the hint that I could get virtual shares. But nothing happened.
Now what further complicates the situation is that I will go to Portugal in April for at least half a year, for joining a social project I love. My plan used to be that I work from there for a few hours a week - but I'm starting to hesitate as I fear that I will actually work more and it will keep me from fully being there.
So, I kind of feel emotionally attached - I like (some of) the people, I know (or at least believe) that the company will have a big problem without me. (I hold a lot of the knowledge for legacy applications) .
But I also feel like I'm putting too much of myself into the company and it is not really giving me back. And it's also not so much worth it... Or is it?
Should I stick to the company and keep my pretty secure position and be financially supported during my time in Portugal, while possibly sacrificing my time there?
Should I ask for a raise (possibly even retroactively) and then still quit later? (they will probably try to get my 1 month of cancelation period upped to 3).
Also, is this a risk for my "career"?6
I really love coding, like a lot. I code a lot of Web related stuff at work and I also learned a tiny bit about Java. But the problem is I only code at work. I never feel like coding at home just because I dont know what to code. I would love to start coding more at home, for fun obciously. Any suggestions?4
Well, I just made a Telegram bot that allows you to slap people with a mention. This is what my life has become.
Basic requirement of every Data Science college internship:
1) 2-3 years of experience... God damn it
2) Research and publications...(yeah right! in 2 years of college in which you taught me how to "work with" C on Turbo-C... I should have god damn publications... Well worked my ass on and have 2, but guess what campus internships says.. " no fucks given man", solve those damn segment tree question first then we will talk)
Its an infinite recursive while loop
Yeah ok. I went to bed extra early yesterday but i kept waking up at night and now i am tired anyways but thats ok. i have to go to work now but thats good. yeah this is great. now when the sun is up and i have to go to work, my body feels like it could sleep 10 hours straight but hey, i think this is just what i need right now before work.1
You have all this power your ancestors never ever dreamed about to command every machine that uses a random bunch of characters at your fingertips and you do what?
A dating app!4
It's a great start of the week when your general manager asks you to get in to touch with a guy to ask about their return merchandise authorization system. And when I reply, sure, what would you like me to accomplish. You get the reply, I don't know, don't bother me with the technical details, they told me it should be super easy.
I don't know what 'it' is, but I'm happy that the man who can hardly use his macbook says its super easy.1
Wonder what tomorrow will bring?
Monday I fuck up by duplicatung some emails.
Today my colleague accidentally sent emails in our test system out which in turn reduplicated the same emails I sent.
My boss is going to love it when he's back in.
$ git clone some/shit.git dir
$ cd dir
$ npm install
[literally ages later]
$ du -sh node_modules
It's a bit late but what do these specs mean?
The f and the 16/20.
I thought I was getting 20mp but all the camera apps say maz is 16.
And for RAWS, dinner say 13, OpenCamera says 16.10
A customer of ours not to say names trains people for infosec certs upon investigating their website I noticed they don't have forward secrecy enabled.
Why? What? Even?
Turn it on you baddies.2
What can I do with my spare Android devices/boards? Could I use the board with a custom OS for a Pi/Arduino analog?
I have 2 tablets that I have no use for. Googling suggestions are pretty simple and nothing that repurposes the hardware.7
co-worker : "hey, have you listened to this cool rocking song"
*Absolutely no idea about what he's talking about*
Me : *internally screaming* no I haven't
CW : well you should check it out, it really blah blah blah
I lost interest mid-way.
Protip : never intimate your colleagues out of their interest
This indicates what I often ask myself when posting a rant.. but could be used for example for feature requests, too. 😋
The song is quite horribly though.. was kind of a running gag during my studies. A friend reminded me of it a couple of days ago and my mind directly associated it with @dfox 😛3
Hey did you know that I was supposed to have Linux/Git lessons which I really looked forward to get because I'd like to switch to linux in the next months? Guess what, my school don't have any teacher for it! It means : until they find one, lessons are cancelled.
I know I can learn everything with Google (just like I did with git, Python, JS, etc) but it would be greatto have a real teacher to give me a feedback on what I'm doing.
They are still looking for a teacher so if anyone wants to become a teacher~1
To all the electronic amateurs out there (especially @Condor since he's the only one I remember well en) :
- What model of soldering iron do you use for precise work?
- What would you recommend to someone who's wanting to try theirself without paying too much too early?
- What are the features or spec to look for when you buy one (even as a debutant) ?
I've got one but it's more suited to gross work and I'd really love to try myself to electronic fiddling.
If you have any advice, resource, tuto kit to make my first arms, I'll take anything!8
There are days you feel like a God and there days you have no idea what you are doing in the dev space.
All in all perseverance with a whimsical tone
What a mess ^^
From one moment to another unit-tests on my local machine stopped working.
There was a PHP fatal error, because of insufficient memory.
Actually, there was a ducking "unit"-test of a controller action "log".
This action returns the content of the projects log file...
Since this log file grew over the time, PHP tried to assert the response of the controller action which was sized about 400MB.
What were your thoughts behind this bullshit? ^^
A developer just followed me on twitter and their description stated their game had 'FPS quality visuals'... What the fuck does that even mean?1
I finally did it. I installed Arch linux + Unity 3D + VSCode + budgie + vertex + sddm-deepin in virtualbox....
What a fucking journey and a half that was.
Now to install on an ssd for real...
My thoughts on the process:
1.) This is not for the faint of heart.
2.) Be preapred to devote some time getting it all right.
3. This was actually quite a rewarding process.1
What i'll minded cocksucker decided it was a good idea to let the web application cache MySQL login credentials..3
So I ended my internship at my first company. It wasn't really an internship cuz I just sat there learning my own thing but at least it was a place where I was free from distractions and focused on learning stuff.
I now have 2 or 3 places where my application has been submitted.
One is a Bank. It isn't like a really big bank but a small microfinance bank targeting the lower class. Judging from their website they like problem solving as they explicitly say "we aim to become problem solvers". I kinda like them because it's not a big bank so it would be a better place for me because I would have responsibility in the team.
Other one is a GSM cellular provider. I have no idea how there would be a software engineer position for me and what I would be doing.
Third (possibly) is a telecommunication regulatory/maintaining something something authority. No idea about that either.
Seeing I don't have idea about some of these, is because I'm not the one that applied to them.
What are your thoughts on it? Which one do you think is better for me? I'm inclined towards bank though I'll be using Java probably but that's ok as Java is everywhere in my country 😄 . Thanks in advance2
I have an onsite technical interview test tomorrow. I have no clue what to expect as I have always done it online.
Should I expect it to be the same system but me just doing the online test in their offices 🙄?
NB: After the test I have an interview with the hiring manager.3
In the middle of the semester, my class and I are going to have a class about threads in Java. The teacher is at his normal days, 10 minutes later he just looks at us and says "Do you want to teach? Do you want me to teach today? You know what? I won't teach today. Let's talk about each other, I want to know you more. Tell about your hobbies, what do you do besides your student life?" 😂
Today I discovered trial and error driven development for myself:
Me, reading spec..
Spec: „Do something with an CSR“ (not the exact wording :D)
So instead of just googling C# + CSR and copying the code examples,
I went like:
What means CSR -> Certificate (Something Something)
-> could be this namespace (Something with „Crypto...“ in its name)
-> could be this class (Something with „Certificate“ in its name)
-> take the easiest overload (string is always nice)
-> try filling in the parameters from the spec
-> start debugger and inspect properties
-> repeat if necessary
I don’t know if this is the correct pattern to proceed my project with...
But hey, today it worked and now I also know, what „distinguished“ means
I've got into an impasse.
I'm working as a mobile developer for one of the well known multinational corporations. I am working here for 1.5 years, it's my first job and I'm already a team leader. It doesn't mean that this is my programming experience. The problem is that I'm feeling that this job stops me from growing on personal plan. I have no more time to work on my personal projects, i have no real portfolio, projects made for the company cannot be included in my portfolio and so on. And also the payment isn't real good so i can't quit and allocate my full time to my own projects. And without a good portfolio i can't get my own customers.
What do you guys would do in my situation.3
I always enjoying snacking on some popcorn while people argue so, what are your thoughts:
Comments in your code - good or bad?4
This comes up when I search on Google 'what is code' lol this looks like a bob the builder remake all about code
Started working at a new company recently, like a week later me and my girlfriend decides to move in together at her place(6hour drive from my current work place).
So since im there during my trial period i contact another company looking for a job to have some kind of security in case they Fire my ass since im moving.
End up with a new better offer from another company and when breaking the News for the boss - a possibility to work on distance for my current position..
What to do, stay or take the better offer?1
How is the quality of life for the average web developer?
I've been doing a bit of research and it seems quite common for people in the field to have no life outside of work. This is not what I want. I work/study 7 days a week and I would ideally like to work for a web dev company, not freelance.
Is it naive to think that a standard 9-5 is realistic for me when I graduate?8
Got an interview at a financial tech firm. I asked them what I should wear:
Engineering is a casual environment, so we encourage you to wear whatever makes you feel most comfortable. We are focused on your knowledge and skillset, not your outfit, so please come as you are.
Not a suit, OK... but not sure if I should wear weekend casual or my usual business casual/work clothes...5
Doing magical things and hacking the world. They don't understand it maybe never will but it's ok because they respect what I do :)
Win10: your password has expired.
Me: ok *click*
Win10: oh btw I forgot which account has its password expired, so you have to write the account name
Me: ... Okay
Me: *resets password, then clicks next*
Win10: let me empty that form and let you redo everything without me showing you an error
Me: ....... Okay
Me: *same info*
Win10: sorry, can't find user "username"
Me: Ok you know what fuck off I'm restarting you
Win10: but I... *ded*
Win10: Hello Phlisg, please log in normally as usual
Me: what the fuck
Disclaimer: I use Linux, osx and windows ;)2
Not really developer related, but today, my girlfriend was trying to convince me why taking the stairs was better then the elevator. She decided to not mention the health benefits, not talk about safety risks. The argument she chooses is that "stairs have less steps" like what? Out of all the things you could have said, that is literally the worst argument. I can't think of a single statement less true! Like she could have stated pretty much any fact and that would have been a better argument. I don't understand what's going on in her head sometimes.3
What is everyone's opinion on companies/organisations 'too big to fail'...?
I was just pondering on how 'just Google it' has become so 'natural' as a way of saying search the Internet. The more I think about it, the less I like it.
I know the chances of them failing/crumbling are neary zero (hence the name) but if an org, Ie Alphabet, made some shit decisions and bankrupted their company, what would happen then? Any ideas? I don't mean in terms of social fallout, economic etc.
I mean in terms of network infrastructure, them being such a central part of 'the web', all their Dns services, their backbone links, Google drive, Google fiber etc. What would happen to all user data? Just be destroyed?
I've never 'seen' a large tech company collapse, but just wander as to how that process would work for such a huge organisation, and the literal mountains of data they have which will need destroying or relocating.
Inb4 watch Mr robot hurrr7
Yesterday our company CEO gave a presentation on the plan for our company's growth.
Let's just say that I'm not too sure that the goals he's set might not be met because I know the way we work.
But if those goals are met, it'll be a huge hit. Provided all the stars align and the PMs decide to do things right for once.
Can't decide what to do in terms of asking for those better projects that have been mentioned or just lay low and stay sad because the work that I'm getting sucks (no actual development just site support for the past 6 months).2
Ugh. Where to begin!
If you gotta make a standard for everyone to follow, you better make it readily available. Even though you barely have any users, but if it's a standard, anyone can try to follow it tomorrow. Or else take it down completely.
There's a standard for learning tools handled by IMSGlobal (Don't ask who they are, no idea). So if you want to build a tool to integrate with different learning platforms, follow this.
OK now, to read the documentation you have to register for an account. As if this is bad, ....... wait for it ........, sign up has to be approved by an admin. My request is already weeks old but not approved.
OK. Google around and try to see if some alternative can be read than that shitty website. Apparently, they have a Spring plugin on GitHub that can be used as a Maven dependency. It has a small readMe attached so I can get something out of it.
And I'm using Spring, golden right? Not quite...............
turns out the stupid readMe is outdated. If you follow those instructions, you get errors. WONDERFUL!!
Now I have to dig through all the code files and try to make sense of what I'm supposed to do.
To start of I'm a student in the Netherlands, I have just finished finished a support management study and I'm currently starting with a IT Management study on MBO 4 lvl.
At the moment I'm in conflict scout doing the IT Management study or doing a application development study as I just don't know what to do. I kind of want do development as I do it in my free time and I like it but I also want to do data center engineering as I also like to work with the hardware.
Should I take a month break of my study and try to get in contact with company's to work there to finalize my decision or should I just drop in the towel and do this study without knowing if I'm going to like it in the end.
And if you work at a company in the Netherlands do you think i can do some orientation internship at your company or do you guys know some places to look at.
Worst coding mistake was assuming that the NameCheap domain API was an update and not a replacement. I went to added a test sub domain to our company domain and it cleared out 40 unique sub domains taking down our sites and email until I could manually add them back.1
Fuck undocumented shit!
I was wondering how to use this one method of the "interface". Googled the name of the program and the specific method.
Got two results.
From the same page.
It's a comment complaining that this shit is undocumented and doesn't work.
If you build something that others use, please, motherfucking please, document your code.
At least some auto generated javadoc, how hard can it be?
You are using the atlassian suite for everything and you have confluence so use it already! The only documentation that actually exists it about a hundred years old, totally useless and covers about 1% of what your product can do.
I like your product but fuck me sideways your documentation sucks balls! Fuck!
That needed to get out.
So, I've just been offered two jobs that are basically the same. It is impossible to do both. What do I do?15
My employer is a subcontractor on a big and rather complex project, that already is way behind schedule and over budget (as these monsters tend to be). To get back some confidence from the client our principal moved an important milestone up two weeks. Which we protested against vehemently because the projected workload was already a very tight fit for the original timeline, without any reserve to speak of left. They wouldn't listen though...
The result? The whole team has to work the next weekends to have even the slightest chance of making the earlier timeline. Which is exactly what we told them would happen when they moved the milestone.
The worst? This isn't the first time this has happened while I worked on the project 😑5
Hope you guys dont mind me asking this here. Does anyone know what library this datetimepicker is using?2
at a Weezer concert watching Rivers Como and it clicked why I want all the stickers.. We all just want to be rock stars!2
I'm building a website with Django just to learn, so far I have login/sign up and even a chat I cloned from github, I don't know what else to do with it, any ideas?4
I just felt like saying as I'm not sure how prevalent this is but the reason I got into computing and programming is essentially this, I want to change the world and make a better society and to quite frank I honestly believe that what you make and it's impact on people is far more important that your personal character5
after having to deal with a lot of weird "rewrites" and "refactorings" by co-workers i started to add this comment into the head of my sourcefiles:
You may think you know what the following code does.
But you dont. Trust me.
Fiddle with it, and youll spend many sleepless nights cursing the moment you thought youd be clever enough to "optimize" the code below. Now close this file and go play with something else.
Found this somewhere on the interwebs and since i use it the "refactorings" and "optimizations" of my code stopped nearly completely
Gradle gradle gradle
You're made out of C
Gradle gradle gradle
The community doesn't seem to appreciate thee
Gradle gradle gradle
A blowjob is what comes after coffee
What the fuck is gradle?
Hi, as a developer turned tester I was wondering if anyone here would hear a talk about what on earth testers actually do in a project and how they contribute to the product? I mean besides writing automation scripts or checking if all the requirements are met (the latter is really the most boring part of testing).
I am thinking of doing a talk on this but don't know if Devs might be interested and which conferences I should target.2
A question for all of you. What is the best way in CS to earn enough money for a comfortable life standard and where can people go for this?3
I'm at the stage where I have no project to really work on so I just lie in bed all day thinking what I should do. I have no programmer friends cuz then at least I would've been busy learning and coding with them and stuff. Motivation loss at peak 😥1
I think I was around the age of 11, and got a brand new C64 with 1541 floppy. The manual of the included floppy disc with some programs described the program startup with 'load "name",8,1'
So I typed (exactly that) 'load "name",8,1' and got '?FILE NOT FOUND ERROR', did it again, same error.
After half an hour of reading the manual and trying it several times, I gave up and went to a friend with a C64. I told him the disc doesn't work, if he could help me out.
He put the floppy disc in and typed 'load "frogger",8,1' and seeing the command I realized what a tremendous idiot I was.
Surely it worked, he could play frogger.
Went home desperate and broken with my disc and from that day on I could operate that machine.
I soon started to play around with basic and a bit of assembler.
What happens when you scroll up/down a page?
Does the page stay as it is as it moves out of your screen's borders or does it delete itself for resource purposes?
I just thought that while scrolling through devRant and YouTube (which I do all the time).7
I swear, I swear this is going to be the last (the best, also, but mostly the last) webdev gig I'm gonna do. SO. FED. UP.
When I end this, I have one month I want to spend in refining some other tech related skill. The main two points needed: a decent pay, a fair amount of free time (I have to study along that: math major, my singing/piano/maybe other stuff too during the year). What do you suggest? Linux sysadmin is a thing I can reasonably become in that windows of time or at least compatible with my needs? Because it catchs my eye. 😵
Am I the only one that didn't the use of not after a something incredibly triggering?
Eg. "Ask not what..."
I know the meaning but I interpret it as "ask how(?) [ inverse of what]... "2
I got an old laptop from my girlfriend that I can use for whatever I want.
As a programmer and computer nerd you can't deny that you wouldn't do anything with it, but what to do?
I want to use it for something, but can't figure out what. Maybe you have some ideas :D7
Why is laravel quickstart guide's default files are so fundamentally different from what I got, when I run 'laravel new myApp'? It's so frustating!3
>opens up one of my four editors
>opens up with the barebones of a project
>no identifying information, just the start of a project
>file name is generic
What the hell was I even doing?!1
Just found a production project that has good portion of it's Composer dependency tree listed in .gitmodules.
Deployment builds are prepared with --recursive clone.
Okay so I calming down now. All is well. Great now I have iphostor syndrome! What will come tomorrow?! I can't wait... 26s till I can rant. now1