It's been 3 days since I started my dev job and it's been pretty stressful. I could have posted at least 3, maybe 4 rants each day. Mainly about trivial bullshit that I let get to me.

Lets just say it came to a head today and that's when one of my bosses, who doesn't even really need to know who I am, decided to help me out. No reason why, just being kind.

I get home to find my other half had been making my lunch for me for tomorrow and had made dinner for me as a surprise. Didn't ask her to do it, she just did it out of the kindness of her heart.

It just made me realise that I'm actually surrounded by great people who I value a lot and appreciate more and more each day.

1st day of the job tomorrow.

Tried to reset my (broken) sleep pattern by going to bed earlier and getting up at half 5, which is the time I'll need to get up. In typical fashion, I just didn't sleep. I just laid there with my eyes closed. This has happened before, so I know what will happen - no sleep again tomorrow and I start my first day after being awake for ~48hrs...

Fuck you, insomnia.

I'm taking a year out from my degree to do a software dev placement. I fought hard to get it and totally smashed the interview. But I'm still nervous as all hell and not sure I want it.

I think it stems from not actually feeling like I'm a real dev yet. I feel like I'm a big fish in a small pond at uni, which is why I took the job. That and the fact I never really made many friends there. Still can't shake the feeling that I'm just going to fail miserably...

I guess this is what they call "impostor syndrome".