My mother and my stepdad spent all their money on themselves. They even went to Finland once, not bringing me with them, and do you know what they brought me as a present? A bottle of dish soap. I was the one to wash all dishes for the family of five.

Yeah.

why would you wanna go with them if they suck

I noted where my mom kept her money and then would slowly steal it over time

and bought whatever I wanted

interestingly she kind of knew the money was disappearing and was confused but figured she just didn't count it right... whoops child me did gaslighting

she kept it locked in a table in the living room, where she slept on the sofa that extended into a bed. I had to go into her purse, open the desk which made noises when you opened it, found an envelope, take the money, then put everything back... all while she was home lol
*espionage music*

and then if she tried to get me to do chores I just didn't

I was raised by very loving and caring parents. Unfortunately they died in my teens. Cancer and heart attack. Don't smoke!

Finland doesn't exist. It's made up by the Russians and Japanese so they could fish there quietly. They export all the fish in Nokia containers. You've ever seen someone with a Nokia phone? Exactly

I must humbly offer gratitude and praise to Finland for giving us Turisas.

I used to be jealous of my siblings getting more attention/support from my mom.

Now not anymore. She can do whatever she wants with her money, even give my siblings all of inheritance without a cent towards me, I still won't be jealous. Why? Because my (actual + potential) net worth is much higher than theirs.

"The greatest revenge is massive success"

> "They even went to Finland once, not bringing me with them"

Please tell me you were 35 when this occurred and not 12.

@mostr4am

I do want to go to Finland again. This time being of legal drinking age.

@retoor Incorrect: Nokia has to ship some legit phones to keep the image up. I got lucky enough to get an actual one instead of a fish, but it's about as useful for computing (it's got 8 cores at 2.1GHz but 4 of them are always running at 100% because it's being used as part of a cloud computing cluster to drive the fishing boats.)

@Parzi what one do you have? I loved my Lumia. Also, Windows Phone has such a beautiful UI. There are android launchers that look a bit like it, but it's not the same

@retoor > "Windows Phone has such a beautiful UI"

And my extremely non technical wife could use it without bothering me every 5 minutes. I can't express how much of a win that is/was for Microsoft (and me).

@retoor I used to have one. I loved it. A fish, not a Nokia phone

@AlgoRythm how did he taste?

@retoor Very metallic and plastic-y, ironically. Wait, maybe it was a phone