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DAMN IT JUST SEND ME SOME FLOWERS

Started a new job yesterday, and rather than making my partner work to pick up hints I have said explicitly a few times that I want him to send me flowers at work, because

1) Yay flowers!
2) Displays dominance over other women at work because it demonstrates I have a caring partner
3) Did I mention pretty flowers?
4) Let's the dudes at work know I'm in a relationship so that means we can all just focus on being colleagues

FFS I even sent a link to a site that does local same day delivery for no extra charge, and pointed out the three bouquet styles I like best. So easy.

But he has yet to send me any.

And as I'm filling out the W-4, learning that I have to pay an extra $10k in taxes, because we eloped a week ago and apparently that's what happens when two high earners file jointly and it's making me want to rant because THE COST OF FLOWERS IS INSIGNIFICANT TO MY TAX BURDEN SO SEND ME THE DAMN FLOWERS.

(and yes technically it's "our" tax burden and yes the money spent on a bouquet would only add to our shared house expenses but I don't care; I'm generally anti flower but there's a time and a place and this is the time and the place)

And if he sends them late in the week, a significant portion of their prime blooming time will be during the weekend which is just wasteful so ugh.

</rant>

Comments
  • 17
    Ok, good news! Turns out the IRS W4 worksheet for calculating additional withholdings for dual income, married filing jointly situations is just weirdly fucked up and I won't actually be spending an extra $11k on taxes. FREAK OUT OVER.

    I still want flowers, though.
  • 9
    πŸŒ·πŸŒΈπŸŒΉπŸŒΉπŸŒΊπŸŒ»πŸŒΌπŸ΅οΈπŸ’πŸ’πŸ’πŸ’πŸ’πŸ’
  • 6
    Whoever ur husband is, I got him covered.
  • 5
    When you asked him, was the TV on? He could be suffering from selective hearing. I have that problem... Apparently.
  • 8
    Note to self : send something* to gf if she changed job.

    * : she doesn't like flowers.
  • 3
    I see you slipped that high-earner status in to another rant :P :P :P
  • 4
    Flowers!
    Who doesn't like flowers at their desk?

    My girlfriend doesn't like flowers and doesn't understand why I do, so she won't buy them for me (except maybe on Valentine's day). Makes me so mad.

    I like flowers, damnit!
    Buy me the flowers!
  • 3
    @NoMad probably easier to kidnap you to a garden instead of brining a garden to you πŸ€”
  • 3
    @irene flowers are evil!
    They take away your oxygen and produce Carbon Dioxide.

    Or was it the other way around?
    ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
  • 1
    @Wackoo Text, mostly. Asynchronous communication with a log, there's no excuse :p
  • 1
    @Root @Christine

    Flowers make me sad. They're dying starving plant genitals. It's like giving someone a bundle of beautiful erect penises, which slowly turn flaccid and wrinkly, and calling it romantic.

    Plants on the other hand, optionally with flowers in them, are fucking glorious.
  • 1
  • 1
    @Root Yeah that would be a nice gift for your girlfriend as well, a bouquet of healthy nice smelling boys.
  • 2
    Update: I did get valentine's flowers, but they were at home. Which is sweet and pretty and all but doesn't establish my dominance over other female workers (actually, it kinda rubs my great relationship in the face of my wonderful roommate who has said a few comments that suggest she's quite envious πŸ˜ͺ) or demonstrate my relationship status to male coworkers.

    But I've got a certification exam coming up so fingers crossed for after that :p
  • 1
    @irene Nothing wrong with that πŸ™‚
  • 1
    @irene I mean, I am nice. And I wasn't being sarcastic, my relationship is great, and my wonderful roommate has expressed envy, especially since she recently got out of a doomed long distance relationship and her other ex is a bit of an asshole :/ It's kinda sad, she deserves every happiness in the world, relationship-wise and otherwise.

    And as for the office stuff, shrug, nothing wrong with making my relationship status concretely clear in a male dominanted workplace. I haven't been hit on much at work, but it was awkward, and I seek to avoid it.
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