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The problem with being a programmer...
I just broke up with a girl I've been seeing the past 2 months, that I was really into.
But in the end, it became a question of, either i'm with her, or I'm with my work.
I don't think that would happen with other professions, at least, not as easily.
I think, with other professions or projects, you tell someone "I need to work" and it's really fucking understood. "Ok, you need to work"
They understand it. If I was a lawyer.. I have a case. if I was a carpenter, I have a wall to build,
or a house. Etc. All understood things. Or physical things that can be seen.
But with programming, first of all, I work my own hours, I write software and then sell it. I do it all myself, I own my own business. I don't have normal hours like a job, but I do know my requirements, which is at LEAST 8 hours a day of solid, uninterrupted work.
If I had a "job" it would be like "gotta go to work" and that would be it.
But, because I work for myself, and because the things I build, aren't like something you physically see, nobody gets it.
My parents, as supportive as they are, will never understand how I just implemented a new design pattern and like, leveled up because of it.
They see software... buttons, and even then, when I try to explain what excites me, it's like trying to get a 3 year old interested in calculus.
How could they possibly understand the richness of what I do, how fulfilling it is
and how much I love it, when all they see
is me on a computer, clicking keys.
The same for this girl I dated.
The only place I feel where people understand,
is here.
Do you have any similar experiences to share?
Would love to hear it right now.39 -
A small story on digitalization
I had spent an hour in the bank with my dad, as he had to transfer some money. I couldn't resist myself & asked:
Dad, why don't we activate your internet banking?
''Why would I do that?'' He asked, ''Well, then you wont have to spend an hour here for things like transfer.
You can even do your shopping online. Everything will be so easy!
I was so excited about initiating him into the world of Net banking.
He asked, If I do that, I wont have to step out of the house?
''Yes, yes''! I said. I told him how even grocery can be delivered at door now and how amazon delivers everything!
His answer left me tongue-tied.
He said ''Since I entered this bank today, I have met four of my friends, I have chatted a while with the staff who know me very well by now.
Two years back I got sick, The store owner from whom I buy fruits, came to see me and sat by my bedside and cried.
When u r Mom fell down few days back while on her morning walk. Our local grocer saw her and immediately got his car to rush her home as he knows where I live.
Would I have that 'human' touch if everything became online?
I like to know the person that I'm dealing with and not just the 'seller'. It creates bonds. Relationships.
Does "online" deliver all this as well?
Technology isn't life #BeHuman
For those who are not getting the context, this things happen in India. It is truth not a fact.17 -
Parents: When your child spends a lot of time with the PC and doesn't want to interact with you, you have some reflection to do before you turn off the internet and nag them for things all day. Chances are, they don't like being with you but don't want to say it, either, because of the kind of things they know you will say and think if they do it.
And for the love of everything that is holy, do NOT turn the internet off! That pisses them off even more!
Maybe I'd have told you how much I hate being forced to be with you if it didn't mean I'd get guilt tripped about it.
Being around the people who pretend that you are a fucking machine that only needs material things in life and does not at all need emotional support at least in the early parts of your life and deflecting every legit argument for the things you stand for with "Muh Feelingz" makes them seem even more pathetic than they are. They manage to be an inspiration to everyone who doesn't know them, yet fail to be the persons their children have any respect for.
It's as if children never imitate their surroundings at all...8 -
WTF Python!!! "Master" and "Slave" perfectly convey the concept. In the English language many words have different meanings based on their context. It's plainly obvious that no allusion to human slavery is meant in the context of software or hardware module relationships. I don't even think it is problematic. The real problem seems to be the people who are taking terms outside their intended space. Why are we linking a scar on human history to terminologies explaining technical relationships?
Then lets also ban 0 and 1 because it can offends non-binary peoples!
22 -
My teammates are working on a legacy codebase so shitty awful, so poorly written, so full of pitfalls, hidden information and intricate relationships, they gave a name to their development style:
Indiana Jones programming.6 -
So I found myself explaining to my rubber duck all the things I've done wrong in my past relationships...
What? It's a great guy, I shouldn't limit it just to code issues, I have a life it could fix too4 -
*creates a freelancer account on some website.
*builds portfolio and gets things running.
*meets his first client.
Client: Hello. so your profile says you are an experienced full stack developer. You are just the kind of person i've been looking for.
Me: Yep.
Client: Okay I have a project for you. I am looking at developing a simple website that has a few functions and the budget is 100$.
Me: Okay smooth. Hit me with the descriptions.
Client: it's going to be a dating website. Once a user signs up; the website would automatically take control of the user's media devices in his/her home; automatically playing something romantic. You get me?
Me: Em... Idk about that it seems a bit...
Client: it can be done! Develop the algorithm.
Me: Em... Ok.
Client: Well, next the website uses some complex sorting algorithm and sorts existing members based on their past real life relationships. It puts the best people above the messy ones.
Me: o.0
*client goes on with his bullshit in like another 10 lines of messages.
Me: -_-
Client: so what do you think? How soon can you begin and how soon can we be done?
Me: Do you also want a "butt scratcher" feature? Like a hand pops out of the monitor and asks to scratch the user's anus?
*client leaves the chat.
Me: Oh. I guess he a thing against family guy.13 -
I've had my share of incompetent coworkers. In order of appearance:
1. A full stack dev. This one guy never, and I mean NEVER uses relationships in their tables. No indexing, no keys, nada. Couple of months later he was baffled why his page took ten seconds to load.
2. The same dev as (1). Requirement was to create some sort of "theme" feature for a web app. Hacked it by putting !important all over the place.
3. The same dev again. He creates several functions that if the data exists returns a view, and if it doesn't, "echo '0'". No, not return 0 or return false or anything, but fucking echo. This was PHP. If posted a rant about this a few months ago.
4. Same dev, has no idea what clean code is. No, not just reusable functions, he doesn't even get indenting right. Some functions have 4 spaces, some 2 tabs, some 6 tabs! And this is inside the same function. God wait until he tries Python...
5. Same dev now suggests that he become the PM. GM approves (very small company). Assigns me to travel to a client since they needed "technical assistance about the API". Was actually there to lead a UAT session.
Intermezzo, that guy went from fullstack dev to PM to sales (yes, one who calls clients to offer products) to business development, to product analyst in the span of two years.
After a year and a half there, I quit.
6. New company, a "QA engineer" who also assumes the role as the product owner. Does absolutely no tests other than "functional tests" in which he NEVER produces any form of documentation. Not even a set of test cases. He goes by "intuition".
7. Same guy as (6), hands me requirements for a feature. By "hands me" I mean he did that verbally. No spec documents, no slack chat, no Trello card. I ended up writing it as a card in Trello. Fast forward to the due date, he flips out because that wasn't what he wanted. Showed him the card. He walked away, without thinking of a solution how this mess should be handled.
Despite all this, I really don't want him (6&7) to leave the company. The devs get really stressed out at this job and he does make a really good person to laugh with/at. -
Always tell junior devs the same.
You'r not going to become the senior dev or architect you have in your grand vision by sitting around this company fulfilling mundane tickets.
Start thinking through new ideas, possibilities, software that you think could really help a specific niche Or pick a model that already exists. The ideas prior existence doesn't matter but having a new idea that has potential has always inspired me to keep pursuing it.
Break out lucid charts, learn how to map out your domain objects and their relationships. Build out a service map of how you want things to work together. You dont have to know how context boundaries or demilitarized zones work or any that technical jargon. At the end of the day those concepts <should> develop organically and then the jargon will come to you like "oh thats the term for this". Some people learn better from knowing and then implementing. I usually come to it organically then learn about it later. Thats the point of this though. Read up on it, understand enough to map it out and then start building them out.
Use a language you want to be proficient in but are not. Use a framework you want to understand but do not. If theres an auth protocol in high demand that meets your needs but you do not understand, run with it. You'r proficient with mysql; mongo would also be a good fit for the business needs but you've never used it. Perfect, use mongo then.
Find avenues of improvement down the line. Maybe the simple records resource server would be a good candidate for GraphQL. Pull in a pub/sub to increase service communication/aggregation, learn websockets to maintain a vital client interface. If you dont know what the fuck im talking about, perfect! Jump in there. Start small, build up, tinker.
You'll meet soul sucking blockers all along the way and thats the biggest thing that separates seniors from juniors is having worked through these issues before, time and time again. Embrace failure, embrace change, maintain initiative because you can be another miserable dev that keeps the cogs turning making a decent 50k salary or you can be a positive catalysis.16 -
Gf: Which way do you round 4.5 up or down?
Me: (int)4.5;
Gf: Ffs the proper way!
Me: Math.Round(4.5);
Gf: Fuck off.12 -
Aren't lambda expressions just the most frustrating thing sometimes? But how can you not love them when they get the job done in one-liners? 😍2
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Fuck relationships, the only relationship I can have and maintain is with my Linux or in my databases.3
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DAMN IT JUST SEND ME SOME FLOWERS
Started a new job yesterday, and rather than making my partner work to pick up hints I have said explicitly a few times that I want him to send me flowers at work, because
1) Yay flowers!
2) Displays dominance over other women at work because it demonstrates I have a caring partner
3) Did I mention pretty flowers?
4) Let's the dudes at work know I'm in a relationship so that means we can all just focus on being colleagues
FFS I even sent a link to a site that does local same day delivery for no extra charge, and pointed out the three bouquet styles I like best. So easy.
But he has yet to send me any.
And as I'm filling out the W-4, learning that I have to pay an extra $10k in taxes, because we eloped a week ago and apparently that's what happens when two high earners file jointly and it's making me want to rant because THE COST OF FLOWERS IS INSIGNIFICANT TO MY TAX BURDEN SO SEND ME THE DAMN FLOWERS.
(and yes technically it's "our" tax burden and yes the money spent on a bouquet would only add to our shared house expenses but I don't care; I'm generally anti flower but there's a time and a place and this is the time and the place)
And if he sends them late in the week, a significant portion of their prime blooming time will be during the weekend which is just wasteful so ugh.
</rant>16 -
I gave resignation so am on my last weeks. The top priority is suddenly an authentication service that is completely unfamiliar, proprietary, requires me to RTFM, and requires contact with a slothful vendor about details for our specific instance. Can you do it on a 10 day deadline?
“Are you sure this wouldn’t be a better fit for someone that has implemented this authentication system before? Someone with existing relationships with contacts that manage the authentication service? Maybe I should be the one transferring my understanding of the other 60k lines of code that I singlehandedly wrote? I’m starting from zero here. Maybe it would be good for the guy who isn’t leaving to do this one so that he can retain the knowledge of the authentication system for next time you need to implement it?”
They just plug their ears now because they clearly don’t trust me due to my resignation state. Just do it. Wow.12 -
A: Can you tell me your opinion about this? Please, be honest.
Me: Ok, I think you could do it in a different way, but let's talk about what you did and see how to make it better...
A: I don't think so, I think this is the best way to do it.
Me: Oh, OK.
A: Why are you always complaining about my job?
Me: Well, you just asked me, and I work on this too, so I thought...
A: I don't think you're collaborative enough with me!
Me [walking away]: Oh, OK...6 -
Him: Relation databases are stupid; SQL injections, complex relationships, redundant syntax and so much more!
Me: so what should we use instead? Mongo, redis, some other fancy new db?
Him: no, I have this class in Java, it loads all the data into memory and handles transfers with http.
Me: ...... Bye!5 -
I've realized that I'm addicted to internet entertainment and it's seriously affecting my education and relationships.
For the month of October I'm swearing off YouTube, Facebook and devrant because of its little dopamine pumping notification bell.
I just feel like I can't even focus enough to go through an hour class without pulling my phone out.5 -
The worst project is the one I am currently working on. I didn’t build it but have to manage it, because... Reasons.
The projects is made on Core PHP(red flag right there).
But when I dig in I get to see there is no authentication used in any of the REST service. Yup. What's the fucking point of login if you are just going to update profiles based on user_id you Twat! The querying used is simply mysql_query (I have to say I expected that).
No relationships defined in the Mysql table structure. No migrations.
There is an upload feature which is forcing the image to be saved as jpeg, therby corrupting the images being saved on the server.
No security, terrible logic, no classes, terrible architecture.
And I am the chosen one to maintain this shit!
Truely, FML!!!3 -
Me and colleague went to coffee shop to work...
C -> colleague
M -> Me
...
C: "do you know what I tell myself when I want to gain the courage to talk to a girl I like?":
M: (gave it some thought) "No what?"
C: "If internet explorer has the courage to ask me to become the default browser! Then what am I afraid of?"
M: "No wonder your relationships are buggy! And full of insecurities!"
2 -
Okay so this is just a rant about my personal life because if I post it any where else no one will really care.
So I graduated from a vocational high school where I learned about basic IT and networking skills but I mostly focused on my programming. and I LOVED that school honestly the environment was so amazing and everyone and everything about it was amazing. then I started college recently hoping for the same thing and its just depressing me, and my depression is coming back and I cant stop it because I cant distract myself from it. My friends are always off playing Monster Hunter Ultimate and Im just wishing theyd hop back on Warframe so we can play again.. They say they will but they really wont so im usually just playing alone or going online which is sometimes fun if you have people that talk back.
so i took myself to the official warframe discord to find people that would help but everytime I ask I just get ignored. So Im stuck playing alone.
while thats happening Im not really getting any messages from anyone besides my girlfriend which is nice but she isnt able to really keep up a conversation and shes often busy with school as well. when I try to talk to any of my friends they arent really interested to talk or just send short replies that obviously tell me to go away. one friend in particular she and I used to talk everyday not even in a romantic way just straight up besties for life, but after one of my relationships ended she basically took her side and never talks to me now. Ive just been really lonely and wanting to just have my friends talk to me again or just have some programming friends I can chill in a discord server while we code but I cant bring myself to ask anyone on the specific server im in for programming..
Honestly idk if anyone on devrant really looks at my posts and thinks "oh look Bubbles posted again". I feel like im not good enough to be here because Im not nearly as good as all of you, Im mostly just here asking questions or posting extremely fucking long posts no one wants to read. and yet this is still where most of my interactions are and I love that this devRant community makes me laugh or feel better about myself sometimes. and I thank all of you for that and I remember your @ 's all the time.
honestly the only real highlight of my week was when my teacher of my vocational class asked me to come back as an unpaid intern to help teach his new programming class and It made me happy but other than that I havent been too happy.
if anyone actually got through this holy shit youre awesome and thank you a lot its appreciated.21 -
So everyone is complaining about working from home. Fuck it, I love it. My productivity was never higher than now.
I didn't have an office space before at home, so I created one. I spent money on it but that's good because this whole corona thing made me realize how much I don't miss:
- company politics, who said what said
- commute
- people bothering you in the middle of you doing something
- catching-up breaks with people I hardly care about asking about holiday I took last year but they "ahhh thought it was just last week! so did you eat anything nice?"
- answering forced "any plans for the weekend" questions
- participating in conversations about nothing
The worst thing is that I'm actually a very sociable person 😂 so working from home means I can go meet my friends at 1630 sharp instead of 19.
I just don't need those fake relationships at work I guess.
Im already discussing with my manager possibility to work from home most of the time and I think I'll soon start to search for something 100% remote.17 -
My life could get worse, but it's really shitty now.
Suffering from a serious back injury since last year, my health has been not so positieve lately.
It put a toll on my mood, which in turn asked it's price regarding my relationship. Needless to say that did not go well. Already a fe months single but we kept in touch.
Three days ago my back injury returned, and was unable to lead a normal life. Constant pain, coyld not even move in the house. Even going to the toilet was a terrible experience because when you move, you're in a world of pain.
I asked my ex girlfriend to help me, since she was the only one having a key to my house.
When she arrived i hoped to have some moral support and to help me mive around, ensuring i would not injure myself any more.
Instead i received the cold shoulder. When she wanted to help pe up she did it a bit too hard and the pain sheered thrpughout my body. Screaming in pain.
She promptly left, leaving keys behind.
The hardest part is that she just left without me being able to explain clearly why i screamed. She thought i was yelling at her while in reality i was yelling due to the immense pain.
After that i had to cut ties forever. Tabula rasa. So i removed everything that is related to that time and locked it in my vault.
Since then i can hardly focus, my mibd is numb and i cannot think straight. The alcohol and other sedatives are probably also involved, but still i feel my life is a mountain of depressing shit.
Needed to vent. And yes i post this because i have a need for some understanding, yes for now i crave for some attention and some encouraging, supportive words. I'm left With no other options since the person i wanted it from the most has simply left... And the fact i am unable to actually be social outside...
Fuck friends and relationships, right?13 -
Currently, I am going through a legacy application built in microsoft access back in 90s.
* No Comments
* No Relationships between tables
* Random code that does nothing
* Weird form layouts
* Weird naming conventions
I need to copy this functionality into modern version using SQL Server Management studio and asp.net core, I also need to kill myself because none of this fucking shit fucking fuck makes sense.
I do my best to write clean and concise code along with comments but after this ordeal I am going to up my game because nobody should need to suffer through spaghetti code and stupid logic that is uncommented.
😶7 -
!dev
So, I've been talking to this girl for a couple weeks now, and she fucking makes me happy guys. I kinda mentioned her once or twice on here, but I didn't really want to say much cause I wasn't sure how stuff was gonna go with her.
But basically now, we're just "talking" if that makes any sense to any of the younger, more social audiences here. For those who may not get what I mean, it's like we're not really looking for anyone else, but we're not really official or anything. Just somewhere in between like friends and dating (she confirmed this for me cause I've made assumptions before and got hurt so I wanted everything to be crystal clear)
I actually met her because she has a class with one of my friends. I mentioned their class in my contribution to the weekly rant this week, where the graphic design class was doing some basic webdev. I skipped my anatomy class to go there one day, started talking to her (actually the day of my rant where I said I'd been up for like ~30 hours or however many it was. LIKE EVERYTHING I POST ENDS UP REFERENCED IN ANOTHER POST), and just kept skipping mainly to see her. Then my friend gave me her Discord and we started actually talking to each other.
Within like 2 hours of us first messaging we had one of those like cute couple arguments. It was over who had prettier eyes, cause I have blue eyes (that people usually say are beautiful, I posted a couple pictures here once), and she has really pretty green eyes. I said that hers looked better, but she said that mine do....She won the argument.
Since then, it's just been fun and cute and I fucking love it. SHE EVEN SAID A PICKUP LINE TO ME A FEW NIGHTS AGO THAT I JUST LOVED. It was "your eyes are more gorgeous than any source code I have ever seen". She found it online, but like at the time, that really touched me.
I'm just so excited about all this guys. She's adorable and I love talking to her. The one thing that's KINDA weird is that she has the same name as my younger sister, but we call my sister a shortened version of the name, so it's not THAT weird.
And I'm just rambling at this point, like I generally do with my rants. She actually knows my profile name and everything (but she isn't on here, she does art, not computers), so she could possibly see this, but I'll likely end up sending it to her at some point anyways.8 -
So today I realized that Im not happy.
When I was a kid I wanted to do many things because I had time and energy but I had no money. Now that Im an adult and I have the money, I have no energy and no will power to try and have personal life in these few hours left of my day. I spend 9 hours at work everyday and totally 1hr 30min is wasted on commuting.
I spent 4 years in uni between lectures and working on my side projects, and I really believed that after uni I will get a job and my life work balance will improve.
After uni I spent 2 years working abroad in 3 jobs at 3 countries. I work as android dev and now Im making a really decent salary.
However Im not happy at all. I realized that life is not about the money. Im changing countries like socks and dont even feel the need to socialize or enjoy my life anymore. Im european and these other eu countries are not that different at all. It came to a point where relationships are meaningless to me. I became an office drone who cares only about work and outside of work I care only about my projects and more work.
At this point im only 25 years old with around 2 years of experience and money is really good, but fuck it Im so tired of being an emigrant and having no stability in life. Im so drained. I spent past 6 years (4 in uni combined with side projects and 2 years working in 3 jobs in different countriee) working my ass off and lying to myself that after the next big thing Im gonna take a break and enjoy life. But its never enough. I dont want to hit 30s or 40s and realize that I wasted my life on pursuing money and didnt get to enjoy life..
Im really considering taking a 6-12 months vacation. I need to find myself. Probably going back to my own country. Just learn how to enjoy life, attend workshops, get to know new city area, meet new people, do some interesting hobbies. Maybe do a little freelance (max 10hrs a week).
Im tired of feeling like I need to make as much money as I can and learn as much about my work as I can. Its not rewarding because its never enough.
Whats the point in that money if I cant enjoy it?9 -
Had an interview with a potential customer last week, and he started questioning my technical capability in the middle of the discussion on the basis that I’m taking notes with pen and paper...
Yes, I can type. At 90+ WPM, I can darn near produce a transcript of everything we say. But I won’t remember any of it afterward, because it passes straight from the ears to the hands without any processing.
“You see, that’s what we have something called ’search’ for...”
...Yeah. Except that doesn’t help with picking out the most important points from a wall of text, organizing it in a way that allows visualizing relationships between concepts, and other non-linear things that are hard to do on the fly in a word processor.
“Well, how about we get you a tablet with a pen and you can just write on that, then?”
How about no.
Ended up turning him down because of other concerns that were raised that were, suffice to say, about as ornerous as you might expect from that exchange.7 -
Oh boy how do I put it?
So I am an introvert and I have a strange question.
But first some context is needed. I am mostly nice to people not because I like every one but because I think it would only waste my time arguing with them so I just start to ignore the person I don't like. Which puts me in a strange situation where a lot of people think I am their friend where I don't care about them heck I don't know names of some.
Now because I am introvert people/friends see me as someone they could unload their secrets on (knowing I won't tell anyone (because I don't gossip(because it's waste of time) ) ). So I know almost every gossip worthy shit that I don't want to know about or don't care. Sometimes they even ask me for some relationship advice and then it seems like I am like a rubber duck for extroverted people cause at that point they kind of ask questions that clearly they want some specific answer (wich if I don't provide they will say themselves). Also it is also lame to ask me as I have never been in a relationship (I am an Indian and here somehow people seams to get in a relationship just to be in a relationship. (cause it's "modern", "forward thinking" "cool") (which I can already see will not last)). I am not against relationships but I think it's better to appreciate a friendship rather then forcing that "a girl and a boy can't be friends".
Ooh BTW the question to other introverts is if they become rubber ducks to there surrounding people?13 -
So, now that companies are used to "WFH", maybe we can agree upon a better office for tech companies?
I do actually think the more "ideal" tech company office wouldn't have to be expensive.
It can be smaller. Any tech company worth it's salt should have discovered in the last few months that it's not just devs who can work from home. Sales, support, management — you really don't need to fight your way through highway traffic or cram yourself into a sweaty subway every day.
There's value in having an office. Not everyone can fit a good workspace in their apartment.
But we could at least center it around:
1. A bunch of small, completely soundproof isolation booths, for those who need a focus space, and can't find a silent spot at home.
2. A social lounge space, a communal living room with couches, a bar, creative relaxing stuff, whiteboards, etc. WFH can become depressing even for the most antisocial employees, chilling on a couch with some coworkers to brainstorm ideas or chat about random tech is valuable for building good relationships with your team.
The "open plan office" with rows of desks and monitors, no matter how luxuriously decorated with vertical gardens and hipster desks from reclaimed wood, can go die a fiery painful death.
I either want to work, or socialize.
Open plan offices (and it's even more dystopian suicide-inducing cousin, the cubicle) are like being unable to choose between fucking and a blowjob, so you end up humping a navel.
Oh, and conference rooms, go fuck yourself as well. I want to be able to minimize your ugly face if you plan to talk about company financial reports for 2 hours.2 -
Saw this on Facebook and couldn't help but share here! 😂
A young woman submitted the tech support message below (about her relationship to her husband) presumably did it as a joke…
The query:
Dear Tech Support,
’Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as: Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as: NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1.
Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and House cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.
What can I do?
Signed,
Desperate
The response (that came weeks later out of the blue):
Dear Desperate,
“First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Please enter command: I thought you loved me.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.
However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.
Whatever you do, DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)
In addition, please, do not attempt to re-install the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend: Cooking 3.0.Good Luck!’
Good Luck!4 -
Me: We have a bug, we are not sure what's really happening yet. We have to look into it.
Project manager: what's happening
Me: We dont know yet
Project manager: How much time will it take to fix it
Me: We dont kn... actually *quick maths* unknown multiplied by "I dont know" divided by logic and addition of past experience - how many times we cant put time on bugs multiplied by we have been here before subtracted by the sqaure root of can we have time to investigate first?
Me: ....mhh an hour or so (then I remember Harry Potter wasnt my classmate) oh actually 2 hrs (in my head, safer)
Bug takes 2 days to solve 🙃
Project manager: you said 2hrs
Me to myself: I said it's a bug. A damn bug.6 -
** Programmers Speak **
Don't know much about real life,
But Relationships in Laravel are important. -
I sent all the required documents, all you have to do is sign. Why do you have to hit me with an email asking if the "male" staying with me is actually a friend or a boyfriend when it didn't bother you at all when you didn't know whether he's a penis-wielder or a sinkhole-bearer?
Then goes the declaration of your concern for my safety (safety from the dangers of the male kind?) because I'm like your own child. You ask me if my parents would get mad about a man staying with me. I'm already in my 20's. I'm not an extra virgin coconut oil. Oh boy, if you only knew, you'd get a heart attack. Sometimes I feel like my physical appearance or general image doesn't match the foul-mouthed, disgusting, psychotic little fuck that I really am inside.
I'm just frustrated and need to let it out. People showing me they care embarrasses me (hard to explain) and I also find it hard to believe them. In my experience, people do that so they can extract private information from you and then later use it to exploit or humiliate you. It doesn't only happen in the tech world.
I don't hate my landlord, she's nice. I just really hate the "too close" relationships culture here. I know it's her place and she has the right to know who's staying here, the rest of the questions are just a little too extreme for me no matter how good the intention is. I honestly don't know what she's expecting.
That's the random rant. Now if you will excuse me, I'm gonna rip someone's stomach open, shove my head in, and motorboat his intestines. I want to see if he giggles. Why is my face red? Definitely not from embarrassment!
Good night.14 -
My coworker and I are both novice programmers: we both know a little about several languages.
So it's really cool when we learn something new from each other. I learned how to properly open a file in Python, and he learned that "\t" is the tab character.
It's a Win-Win for both of us!2 -
If you're not into sad ones then better skip this.
Parents wanted a good boy rather than a happy boy so they got one... I wanted to learn programming and make games. I was kinda good at school and kinda not good at socialising. Or not good at being wanted around since my stuff is shit and everybody else's good. Standard bullying applies. Still adults back then promised work hard, learn and it will be worth it. Follow your dreams said internet. So I did. Tried the university 4 or 5 years maybe, completed 2, no degree. Nobody said that socially anxious, depressed never-had-any-girlfriends with mood swings struggle getting through one-size-fits-all institutions. But I learned programming. Nobody really cared. Games completed: 0. Sex had: 0. All friends on depression forums. Tried learning driving then failed couple times and put this until I have money to throw at the bottomless pit of learning driving.
For the reasons that can be summarized as "my parents fucked up and my country fucked up too" I migrated. New country, migrant, warehouse jobs in the area with warehouse jobs for migrants. Worked a bit then went for a sort of uni level course or software development again, probably the easiest way to prove "I speak English too" on my CV. Barely made it, of course. Games completed: 0. Sex had: 0. All friends on anxiety online chat. I worked on one game but then ran out of time. It was time to look for employment. Made portfolio (from scraps of old projects), looked for half year (online), didn't find it.
Decided to move from low rent no jobs area to high rent with jobs area. Got factory job, worked maybe 6 days then quit mid day since my brain had a wave of extremely low mood mixed with "THIS IS NOT WHAT I LEARNED FOR". Btw 5 days of that work went to the scammer pretending to be a staffing agency. Workplace didn't respond and I didn't have an "official" address so didn't talk about it. Games completed: 0. Sex had: 0. Got one friend locally.
So that's 3 years ago.
Then by some miracle I got into my first software job. Some miracle constituted of going to local dev meetings and talking to a really generous man that happened to be looking for people. I did some ugly web development there, then the company found out they're not doing well and laid off half of devs including myself. Kept all the project managers for some reason, I guess you don't have to code projects if you can code existing clients. It was stressful but I found next employment within a month, which is where I am still. For next to minimum wage. Games completed: 0. Sex had: 0. Getting old, losing hair.
I found I have problems doing work. Had days and days during which I've written like 10 lines, maybe. Of easy stuff. Nightmare. Life is pain and it's all I can think of some days. I'm approaching 30. Still anxious, male-male street hostility present as always, burnt out. Can't afford own house, can only rent a room. At this point I've been like nowhere, had almost no relationships (online doesn't count), and almost done no fun stuff in life (discovered a hema club recently which is the last thing keeping my sanity). I think I've heard all advice there is, all about how privileged I am in this day and age, taking ownership, exercising, hard work, positivity (can suck my undesired d...), todo lists, sleep, omega-3, vitamin d, no shortcuts, more work. I feel like I've wasted 10-15 years. To be honest about the feeling I feel like the world has wasted my 10-15 years. I feel like absolute trash. There has been a lot of bad things and very little good ones. Recently it's been more nothingness. The best free time to be sit at home with your partner off work with plague outside: wasted. I've been off for almost as many months as worked past year. Games completed: 0. Sex had: 0. Hope lost: yes, most of. Weakness is a sin, world is made for fuckheads, terrorists win, no gods to hear your cries.
So I want to ask you guys and gals, should I pursue my gamedev dreams? I maybe have the base skills, but I struggle to use them because attention deficit or something that keeps my brain processing all the past misery rather than working. I don't think I have enough charm to be anywhere for pretty face. I think my personality isn't too great by now either. At least the public one. Still I want to do creative stuff, dark, crazy, ridiculous stuff. At least somewhat fun. But I feel like a burden. If I was a studio I wouldn't employ myself. Will I be able to do the job properly? Gamble. My energy is mostly spent and I can do only so much about it.
But maybe it's not what I should want, I don't know. I'm rather lost recently and don't think there's much goodness gradient to follow anymore.
Sorry for a messy post, I don't really know where to get stuff out of my head and in what order. I tried therapist, didn't work.43 -
First and foremost: do more to show my wife that I love and appreciate her. Not dev but damned important.
Write my own web version of the taskwarrior client.
Run a 5K in June with my wife.6 -
Relationships and gaming on Linux have a lot in common. When it works, it's glorious, though it has its quirks. When it doesn't... You let it drive you mad until you decide that the compatibility issues just aren't worth the effort anymore.1
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I've promised to do the Mozilla rant about the whole meritocracy thing a few days ago.. well, this is that. Along with some other stuff along the way. Haven't ranted for a couple of days man, shit happened! But losing 6 days that could've been spent on finishing my power supply project.. to a stupid cold, it got a little bit on my nerves, so that's what I've been working on for the time being. Hopefully I'll be able to finish it up in a couple of days.
1. COCKtail party thingy
Turns out that there's this conference in Brussels in a couple of days about the whole Article 13 copyright stuff. I've been letting a mail to the MEP's about it mature on my systems for a while now.. well, maturing or procrastinating, you be the judge 😛
Now I'm glad that I waited with that though. It's mostly a developer-centric insight into how the directive would be a horrible idea.. think AI, issues with context recognition, Tom Scott's video on Penistone and Scunthorpe etc etc. But maybe I can include some stuff from the event afterwards.
Also, if you're coming to the conference too, do let me know! Little devRant meet while we're at it, it'd be fucking great! I'll try to remember to bring my Christmas ducks, they've got these cute little Santa hats 😋
(P.S.: about the whole COCKtail, I saw the email while drunk and during registration I had to choose an email address.. I figured, feminazis are doing such a great job at going out of their way to find offense in everything, I figured that I'd make their job a little bit easier by sending a COCK bomb in my registration mail address, in the hopes that it finds its way to one of them.. evil, I know XD)
2. The whole feminazi stuff at Mozilla
So Mozilla hates meritocracy now? I've been wanting to rant about the big bad meritocracy for a while now. Thank you Mozilla for giving me an incentive to actually do it!
Meritocracy, feminazis think it's bad because it's about power relationships and discrimination, right? But what if I told you that that is exactly what makes great software great. Good code, good merit, is what's welcomed in software development.. or at least it should be. Because it's a job of fucking knowledge, experience, and quality! Also, meritocracy is a great thing because nobody cares if you're a professional developer in a suit, getting paid to work on a piece of OSS, or a homegamer neonazi who's coding shit in their underwear while wanking to child porn.. nobody fucking cares. If your code, your merit, is good, contribute ahead! Super inclusive, yet apparently bad because bad code is excluded to ensure the health of the project.
So what is the alternative to the big bad meritocracy? Inclusion (or as it's looked like in practice, more like exclusion) based on gender/sex, political orientation, things like that. But not actual fucking merit, the ability to write good code. How the fuck is politics and gender going to be any good at all to an inherently meritocratic craft?! Oh but yeah, it's great for inclusion. It's like females in tech. Artificial growth is just a matter of growth numbers and the only folks who like it are fucking HR and wanketeering cunts, and feminazis. Merit, that's what matters!! And have you ever considered that females are generally not interested in technology? Or for that matter, where's our inclusion movement for men in healthcare?! Gender equality my ass.
That's just my two cents on it of course. Meritocracy shouldn't be abandoned in tech. And even if it's just a matter of calling it something else. How the fuck is it a good idea to not call a pot a fucking pot just because someone might take offense at it?! It's meritocracy, call it fucking meritocracy!!! And while we're at it, call a master a fucking master and a slave a fucking slave!15 -
So, part of my job is working with SQL. Not my favorite technology to work with. But the tables have mostly non-descript fields, multiple schemas in the same table, and encoded relationships spanning multiple tables. Yes, the database from hell! On top of that, there is very little documentation on this mess. -- And my boss wants me to write queries against a combination of these tables to make sure the program is working. RIGHT...3
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So you are having a conversation about relationships, breakup etc with your friend on WhatsApp.
Then you instantly see a tinder ad on the first YouTube video you play.
Coincidence or something else ? 🤔
(Every one has some similar experiences i, I bet)10 -
My SO got a promotion, and with it he's going to be out of town about every other week.
I told him I'm excited for him, that even though I'll miss him it's a sacrifice I'm happy and willing to make because it's so good for his career, and our future. I don't want him to distracted during his work trips about worries about my unhappiness.
But I miss him and this is so hard actually 😔10 -
Applies to: instructions, signs, traveling to new locations, arriving on time, etc.
1. Always read the documentation before asking questions.
2. Ask for clarifications as soon as possible.
3. Never underestimate the complexity of a task even when it looks simple. (traffic)
4. Always test the current application before adding a new feature. (shortcuts, baggage, companions)
5. Never trust everything the previous developers say about their code. People forget. See for yourself.
6. No, you will not remember what this part does. Take notes, write comments, docstrings, and give objects reasonable names. (that hookup has a name and is someone's child)
7. Get things working way before the deadline. (check-ins)
Applies to: talking to people, being precise, etc.
8. Don't turn the method definition into an essay.
9. Break things down into smaller pieces, if possible.
10. Avoid misspellings. The computer may not get confused but the next developers will.
Applies to: communication, relationships, etc.
11. Be considerate.
12. People in higher positions make mistakes too.
13. Communicate. Don't expect people to read your mind and don't assume you have all the information you need.
Applies to: utensils, sex toys, compatibility, sexual preferences, etc.
14. Don't do random hacks just to make something work. If it's not the tool for the job, use something else. Wasabi doesn't make a good lube.
15. Product owners and users don't always know what they want. ;)
16. Stop being an asshole unless you have lubes and da hole tyt.
17. Be assertive, not aggressive but spank and choke me anyway.
18. Consider each sprint as a sport. You may have almost killed each other during the game but keep it civil after. (violent love-making)
19. Don't burn the bridge when leaving. Someday, they can refer you to a better job or you can refer them and get money out it. (hookups and prostitutes)
Applies to: beliefs, religion, obsessions, hobbies, etc.
20. Programming languages are not cults. Same with IDEs, tech stacks, etc.
21. Use linters. (check yourself)
22. Be aware of your own bias especially when testing and debugging your own code. (reflect)
23. Being antisocial does not make you a better developer. Stop romanticizing it. (delusions)
Applies to: life in general
24. Be patient. You'll get out of the maze. You always do.
25. Stop blaming inanimate objects for your code not working. Behind every inanimate object is a person responsible for the failure. Most of the time, that person is you. If not, talk to the person and solve the issue.
26. Take breaks.
27. Keep learning new things.
Applies to: negotiation, transactions, relationships, etc.
28. Always send documented proof of requirement changes. (50 shades of grey contract, ew)
Applies to: sex
29. Write tests. Test your tests. Testes. Testicles. Tentacles. Testicular cancer.
30. Hostility never results to productivity. Wank it out, get back to work, and stay calm. (doms in BDSMs are gentle creatures)5 -
For myself, I choked on the following:
- "Why do you want to work for us?"
- "Why us, specifically?"
- That stupid logic test with the guys wearing the red and white caps
- "Convince us how you're not overqualified. We're simple people."
- "Convince us how you're not going to leave us in the long run."
- Stupid db test: here is a scenario. You have 15 minutes to write an entire relational db with 20 tables, keys, relationships..
- "Why would we want to hire you?"6 -
#justathought
There are 6 stages of an man's live that he wish for
1. Child phase and school phase : don't know what it was, can't remember mine
2. Teenage phase : study, exploring new areas, competition, body building, getting into relationships , breakups, dreaming, etc
3. Ambitious phase : getting graduate, changing jobs , lust for money, tensions, parties, ambitions, cars ,new houses , marriage, honeymoons and kids
4. Family settled phase : permanent job, nice salary, long family trips , fun time with kids, paid holidays, hardworking phase
5. No tensions settled phase : children getting graduate, marrying, trying to settle themselves, you and your wife having enough money or pension to live peacefully, you are playing golf with friends, doing excersize nd charity regularly, etc
6. Permanently settled phase : lie peacefully in your death bed and wait for eyes to close in sleep forever
..
..
..
..
..
What life gives : "fuck that shit... let's mix some of these stages, replace some of them with opposite/ negative stages and skip some of them"1 -
Step 1. Learn to code .
Step 2. Exchange code for money.
Step 3. Exchange money for car, soap & a clean shirt.
Step 4. Profit.
[GOTO: Step #1]
Lol. OK on a serious note coding improved my love life, it drastically reduced the frequency of dates - but dramatically improved the quality and duration of my relationships.
I used to believe that anyone/thing had the potential to be great - and (like me) all they needed was a little time to seize an opportunity.
This essentially meant there were no deal breakers and I spent a lot of time giving people benefit of the doubt and investing a lot of time & effort supporting and trying to build on aspirations that would turn out to simply be fantasies I was indulging.
I still idealistically believe that everything/one has infinite potential - only now I know which problems are worth solving, which are purely for fun or a thought experiment and which should immediately be thrown out and refactored.
All the ambition in the world is void without drive.1 -
On Skype.
[tldr: #muhPrivacy;]
You know, people hiring via Skype.
Gaming, seeing family or having long range relationships.
It's become a decent tool.
Then there is the Skype employee.
Opening a court case because in his work time, evaluating Skype calls - ON FUCKING OBSERVING SKYPING PEOPLE - he has to look at too much flesh (as in porn) for his salary level.
Like : the payment category states that you gotta be classed like 1,2 salary categories higher for such work.
So the first instance did not recognise the employees case, because they said its a state thing, or even higher.
Later instance evaluated the employee was right and decreed Microsoft / the NSA (whomever direct employees they are) to properly categorize their employees.
Therefore cost relatively exploded and an algorithm to detect nudity was built.
Wich is operational way earlier than Skypes TOS renewal mid 2018.
That also bans bad language and auto bans given accounts.
Talking about social credit..
in PROC (or prod, as they're known).
And btw: complaining about Google while posting Christmas gatherings on Instagram.. You get what I mean.
Honestly, I don't recall the sources. It's been a while.
I'd really appreciate a little compendium of this for historical reasons.
They will ask: what has brought us here? What is everyone an ultimate right/left/center/agnostic/religious fascist?
And we'll have it on paper. Or papyrus,.. even stone. As I don't know how far mighty people will go for their fortune.15 -
So I started a 80hour intership today at our Department of Education and this is how it went...
Boss : Design a database to show all applicants that applied for jobs at schools.
*I start thinking which tables and columns I'm going to use and start designing the database, writes out all the tables on paper*
Me : Is there a pc I should work on or should I use my laptop? And which database engine do you use?
B : No you can use your laptop. And btw we use MS Access
*Thinking wtf kind of business even governmental uses Access for their databases. But anyway, start creating the databases and relationships when my boss walks in*
B : No, what are you doing?
M : Im creating the database you asked for.
B : No, you design it on paper. Draw all the tables, draw the report and the form then you come show it to me, if I decide its good enough you can come in tomorrow and start creating it.
*Wtf kind of place is this, are you mentally retarded? You have a IT staff of 3 people, in which only the actual fulltime intern is a qualified IT professional, but when me or him tries to do some actual work, you give us shit about doing what was asked from us*5 -
Cannot believe I am paying for a course with a lecturer that doesn't even teach the students what a foreign key is, or the concept of a join table to breakdown many-to-many relationships in a database. Literally telling me "If thats how you interpreted it, it's ok to add that in, but you dont have to." In relation to adding a new entity into the ER Diagram as a join table.
It isn't up for interpretation, you are literally joining tables based on foreign keys that will create duplication and make no sense. I mean, you are teaching people who have likely never worked with DB's before... you cannot teach them this. 🤦♀️1 -
Parents had asked me to assemble some furniture, fix the pc and so some other "brain" work
Furniture
Me: *Stops to check something in the manual*
Parents: Are you stuck? Maybe try assembling the door upside down
Me: No, it is the right way
Parents: *Ramble, ramble*
Me: Just let me work, shut the hell up
PC
Me: *Checks cables, checks logs, ect*
Parents: Maybe it is the problem with (insert random tech word there)?
Me: No.
Parents: W h y?
Me: Let me finish, it isnt that, (tech word) isnt even correlated to that
Parents: But, but, you never talk to me... (ramble ramble)
Me: Get the hell outta the room
*Argumemt breaks out*
30min later
Me: *Finnaly manages to fix it after the heated argument*
Me: I finished, everything works
Parents: Great, but you are mean
Me: I managed to finish the work in 15 min, you dont even have enough strengh to call for a specialist, (but knowing me i wouldnt allow it anyway because a lot of them make a poor job), so in order to make it properly and to relieve you from learning how to fucking google i want you to stay out of this so i can just finish my job. Your interruptions waste time and i dont need your help at all. Everytime you tried to fix stuff you always managed to fuck shit up when you tried to do anything.
Parents: (ramble)
Me: SHUT THE FUCK UP, LEAVE MY ROOM
Parents:
Me:
Parents: *Leave the room*
1h later i get 25$ for the job perfectly done
Sometime i wish they were tech independent, so i can save my sanity and time but money is nice.
If anybody tries to argue that i should respect them:
I tried talking to them nicely countless times through years, but they always force themself to a project and they always fuck shit up because of it. I tried telling them about my problems and they tried helping me but after it didnt work they retured to the old: "it is the pc fault" and similar. Even if they couldnt help me i juat wanted them to understand my situation, but no that didnt happened.
First i fix my life then i will fix the relationship
But but greeeeeg, relationships should be cared for always!
Eat shit. There is time for family and there is time for me especialy when my life can suddenly colapse due to my problems.5 -
I'm basically an introvert. I've lived most of my childhood with my mother alone with few friends and the ones I had betreyed me real hard at some point. So how come that I'm now founding a startup, speaking in front of a big audience at meetups and have a nearly 60/40 work/social life?
At some point I decided to be more social. Making that decision alone had a huge impact. It took several years though, to implement this decision. Some day I cut off my draining social bounds and found energyzing relationships by simple doing what I wanted to do. I started to reach out and experiment with a lot of hobbies like bow casting and going to board games evenings. I made little steps. E.g bow casting is a sport where you don't necessarily interact with others within the sport, but you have the opportunity to interact about the sport.
A physiologist once told me the neat fact, that being an introvert is just an attribute that does not contradict the skill being socially involved. So it is possible with training and decisions to learn how to be more extroverted. For in introvert this is more exhausting and challanging, but definitely possible.
So today I balance my social life and work by visiting meetups, playing board games and all that stuff that makes me comfortable. There I get to know people with similar interests and similar struggle ;)
At some point the work was just not enough to be happy, I identified my missing social interactions as the root cause so I decided to change that.
On the other hand, don't think you have to be social. Don't think you have to care about everything others expect you to care about. It's bullshit. Don't care about that. Rather ask yourself what you want for yourself. Certainly a social life is part of that, but you alone decide how this will look like. E.g. After I decided hey I just don't give a fuck if you like cuddling your cat and when it's birthday is, several months or years later I started to be interested in these things from my own, not because some dippshit society construct expects me to care about it.
So to wrap up:
Introvert is an attribute, social life is a skill.
Deciding for yourself and giving a fuck about others is key.
It takes a shit load of time. But it works. -
Anyone else feel like it's hard to connect with people online? I mean *really* connect. I feel like some of the communication platforms that we use to share our thoughts are not suitable for meaningful exchanges, or are not being used in such a way. Nothing is long lasting. All communication is transient and shallow. Posts get buried underneath new posts. Memes get more interaction than questions or stories. I totally get it - a meme is much easier to digest and to really like and it doesn't require a written response, and there's nothing wrong with any of that, but what happens when you have a legit question or you just need to talk to somebody deeply about a subject? There's always gonna be someone who dismisses it but leaves a snarky comment behind, or somebody answers in such a way that doesn't move the discussion forward. Now that I am writing this, I realize that similar things happen in real interactions. You do small talk, you talk about a movie or a TV show - no problem. But whenever you wanna touch on a subject that doesn't have a clear answer, or is a bit emotionally vague, it seems that people close up a bit or try not to get into the thick of it. Fuck man, I don't need a coherent, well-structured answer, backed by research. I just wanna know how you feel. Do you ever feel like this too? Are you afraid of this, the same way I am afraid of it? Or tell me why you're so excited about this? I don't know, all this is obviously very abstract and I don't know where I am going with this. I suppose there's the fear of ultimate impermanence behind of all this, and I want to share that fear with someone else, not in some kind of hardcore blood-brothers way, but just like fucking wanna feel like we're all in this together, like that we acknowledge each other as something a bit more than just a pixelated avatar (which are funny as hell by the way) somewhere out there on the network. Maybe it's all in my head.
And at the same time I recognize that if somebody responds to this post and opens up in some kind of way, any kind of way, I will possibly not know how to open up in return as awkwardness settles in and defense mechanisms go up and just the vagueness and the uncertainty of the whole situation becomes too confusing, and the whole effort drops back to a level of chitchat for a glimpse of a second before it is swallowed whole by the new waves of conversations started by other people trying to connect with somebody else to escape their own loneliness.
I think that nobody captures this kind of abstract stuff better than David Foster Wallace: "You don't have to think very hard to realize that our dread of both relationships and loneliness ... has to do with angst about death, the recognition that I'm going to die, and die very much alone, and the rest of the world is going to go merrily on without me."19 -
This is a legit question from an exam I just took:
What is CMR?
- A subject we did not discuss.
- Short for Customer Management of Relationships.
- Do you mean CRM?
This is a fucking joke.2 -
It has taught me to accept that I am frequently wrong. Not just when faced with code but with people too.
All the years of "It can't possibly be MY code that's wrong" which of course always turns into "Well, I guess it was my code..." Had helped me think critically in relationships, politics, and many other areas of my life.
Programming had actually heavily influenced my behavior and I would say it is largely for the better.
However, one negative effect it has had on me is that I am less of an optimist. Code is very "cause and effect". This means a lot of my life is "no surprises" and "you get what you give"
So I often feel like the most likely outcome is probably just the one that's gonna happen. There are no surprises, no miracles. Life is cause and effect.1 -
My current dream project is sailing a 21st Century Message in a Bottle across the Atlantic Ocean from US to Europe, satellite tracking it in apps and desktop environment and more importantly inspiring school children everywhere that anything you can imagine is possible. Fortunately, the project is rapidly becoming a reality - here's how:
- teamed with a few amazing devs virtually
- team created an effective infrastructure for communication and knowledge sharing
- researched oceanic patterns, satellite communications, sensors, material design, recovery logistics...
- developed budget and received funding sign off
- created realistic, yet aggressive project plan with deliverable dates
- built relationships with two Universities for Oceanic knowledge assistance
- developed a partnership with NOAA and will share info
Oh yeah, we did all that and are having fun in only 25 days so far! More challenges to come but we embrace the challenges!1 -
I hate how almost every person I like doesn't live where I live and as soon as I decided to start traveling to find where I should be and with whom because it's definitely not here, all of this madness happens. It's like all my relationships are doomed from the beginning.
I just know that at some point, they'll choose someone who lives closer to them and more convenient to be with, not an overthinking idiot who lives far away and is now roasting itself. Yeah, yeah, with this attitude, nothing will work for sure but I'm exhausted. Being alone is comfortable, a relief even. It's knowing someone and then not being with them anymore that brings loneliness so getting close to somebody, from my perspective, looks a lot like masochism. It's so much easier to just pump and dump random people but even that becomes pointless.
Whatever. At least I have video games, programming, and other interests. Happy, sad, or enraged, they are the only consistent parts of my life and I'm thankful for that.3 -
I have a love hate relationships with Google.
As an investor, I love how they are a natural monopoly that keeps growing into new areas...
As a deaf user, And I hate how they find ways to screw me over while still looking good.9 -
C++ tough me that having 2 or 3 friends is ok in some situations, but its best to avoid them when possible.
Also, you cannot have friends outside of class.4 -
Getting real tired of having to reteach the basics of relational databases to the same 2 people. You were brought in as the expert in databases and SQL Server, I shouldn’t have to teach you about effing primary keys, secondary keys, many-to-many relationships, and how to join the damn tables in a basic query. Your 5 years of experience are obviously a waste if all you did was select * from bullshit. This is the 2nd week and 22nd you’ve asked the same damn questions. Get your crap together and study your ass off if you don’t know. Google the error messages if you don’t remember how to solve it before coming to me with the same question a 23rd and 24th time. I’m not going to get any work done if all you do is ninja up behind me with your laptop in tow and just spout off the question that could be done over IM or a quick duckduckgo/google search. Headphones in = do not disturb ya rude mother duckers 🦆.4
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Lying to your misses about the purchase price of a new laptop - protecting the relationship or just plain wrong?6
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Things I wish people had said at my first job (in light of lots of the people I see starting their first dev gig on here). Please add yours.
Congrats!
Take a breath, you will be fine.
If you get frustrated, take a moment to collect your thoughts.
Don't be afraid to say you don't know, you are not expected to know everything.
Your workday needs to end at a decent time. Don't overdo it or you will be useless for more of your hours.
Always take whatever length of time you think something will take and double it. If you think it will take 15 minutes, it'll probably take your 4 hours.
Concentrate on networking and personal relationships.
Pick the smartest people who have moved the most vertically and pay attention to what they say, they might know a lot.
When management makes an "unwise" or "crazy" decision, ask them why or what the context or motive is that made then arrive at that course of action. Some of them might surprise you in their bigger picture motives or dumbassedness.
Six sigma may be in your future, learn what it is.
Automate as much of your own job as possible.
Um, that's all I've got for now. Hopefully that's helpful to people just starting out. Feel free to add yours.5 -
This remote work is really saving me a lot of money and makes me even more conscious about my spending.
I miss the time when I didn't work for several months minus the days I'm glued to the sofa getting double penetrated by anti-anxiety and anti-depression medication. I would just wake up, write something, publish an article, work on my personal projects and portfolio, play video games, learn something new, do some citizen science bullshit, and all that. Not all in the same day, of course.
The only thing that kept me from enjoying those simple days is the knowledge that my money will run out in a few months and that I have to get a job soon. Knowing that I have no family to help me if I fuck up makes me feel more responsible than it makes me sad. It puts me into that survival mode (corny, the cringe). The fact that this project is stressing me out just adds more fuel to that.
Now I'm learning a bunch of new tools and working on personal projects that I used to think were all lame. Plus, I met another developer on Bumble. No, I did not fuck him or even attempted to. We talked about development and found other common hobbies - snorkeling and scuba diving. We talked about freelance and how freelancing websites aren't so helpful, being saturated with people from poor countries who offer cheap labor. You can argue about the quality but that's a different topic.
Then he mentioned a Couchsurfing event he attended with other divers and how he thinks the best way to snag decent clients is through relationships. I remember the times I was in the beach and some business man would have a "bright new idea" when I mention I'm a developer. Of course, we all know the all too common stories about such bright ideas but in a way, that developer from Bumble makes sense.
When I was in College, I was referred by my professor to a pretty big client in the transportation industry. We talked, they were legit, but I was too lazy and had low self-esteem back then.
When I took my phone to the repair shop, this woman came up to the technician and asked if he "makes bots". Of course, the snobby little shit that I am did not bother.
When I was still with my ex, he had a laundromat client with several branches in the country. The developers he worked with were amateurs, like "username and password is in the script" level. I could have nuked the whole thing for fun but thankfully, I didn't care enough to do such damage. And yet they managed to get this project through connection.
Last month, I met a dive master who moved from the city to that small town island paradise. She mentioned how much the house and lot costs and it's 1/4 the price of my tiny condo. Just gonna get me a few milking cows, my own products, and I'll be fucking off to the deep sea. Maybe code a few hours a day or some days, start an aquaponics farm, finally continue learning electronics, and go fishing for food like a true nigga.4 -
That feeling when building and testing on android device takes you 5 mins and then you spend 2 days dealing with Apple's bullshit.
Sexy devices and pretty interfaces but they just looove making devs jump through hoops.3 -
when reviewing each other's code and sql queries is the most romantic way you can think of to spend the evening1
-
Finally learning vim after a few years of absolute refusal.
echo export EDITOR="vim" >> ~/.bashrc18 -
My deepest regret is believing lies about OOP, during my education.
1. It is the best way to model a software, easier to think about objects and relationships: no it is not.
2. It increases reusability: I have seen people invwnting base classes to justify.
Are there any lies you regret believing that you believed during your education?12 -
Ok now I'm gonna tell you about my "Databases 2" exam. This is gonna be long.
I'd like to know if DB designers actually have this workflow. I'm gonna "challenge" the reader, but I'm not playing smartass. The mistakes I point out here are MY mistakes.
So, in my uni there's this course, "Databases 2" ("Databases 1" is relational algebra and theoretical stuff), which consist in one exercise: design a SQL database.
We get the description of a system. Almost a two pages pdf. Of course it could be anything. Here I'm going to pretend the project is a YouTube clone (it's one of the practice exercises).
We start designing a ER diagram that describes the system. It must be fucking accurate: e.g. if we describe a "view" as a relationship between the entities User and Video, it MUST have at least another attribute, e.g. the datetime, even if the description doesn't say it. The official reason?
"The ER relationship describes a set of couples. You can not have two elements equal, thus if you don't put any attribute, it means that any user could watch a video only once. So you must put at least something else."
Do you get my point? In this phase we're not even talking about a "database", this is an analysis phase.
Then we describe the type dictionary. So far so good, we just have to specify the type of any attribute.
And now... Constraints.
Oh my god the constraints. We have to describe every fucking constraint of our system. In FIRST ORDER LOGIC. Every entity is a set, and Entity(e) means that an element e belongs to the set Entity. "A user must leave a feedback after he saw a video" becomes like
For all u,v,dv,df,f ( User(u) and Video(v) and View(u, v, dv) and feedback(u, v, f) ) ---> dv < df
provided that dv and df are the datetimes of the view and the feedback creation (it is clear in the exercise, here seems kinda cryptic)
Of course only some of the constraints are explicitly described. This one, for example, was not in the text. If you fail to mention any "hidden" constraint, you lose a lot of points. Same thing if you not describe it correctly.
Now it's time for use cases.
You start with the usual stickman diagram. So far so good.
Then you have to describe their main functions.
In first order logic. Yes.
So, if you got the point, you may think that the following is correct to get "the average amount of feedback values on a single video" (1 to 5, like the old YT).
(let's say that feedback is a relationship with attribute between User and Video
getAv(Video v): int
Let be F = { va | feedback(v, u, va) } for any User u
Let av = (sum forall f in F) / | F |
return av
But nope, there's an error here. Can you spot it (I didn't)?
F is a set. Sets do not have duplicates! So, the F set will lose some feedback values! I can not define that as a simple set!
It has to be a set of couples, like (v, u), where v is the value and u the user; this way we can have duplicate feedback values in our set.
This concludes the analysis phase. Now, the design.
Well we just refactor everything we have done until now. Is-a relations become relationships, many-to-many relationships get an "association entity" between them, nothing new.
We write down on paper every SQL statement to build any table, entity or not. We write down every possible primary key or foreign key. The constraint that are not natively satisfied by SQL and/or foreign keys become triggers, and so on.
This exam is considered the true nightmare at our department. I just love it.
Now my question is, do actually DB designers follow this workflow? Or is this just a bloody hard training in Pai Mei style?6 -
Toxic relationships are the worst thing that can happen to anyone. While some of them you can get out of or avoid. You can't do much about the ones you're born into.
Such people have their egos up their butt. They just don't realise that they're just a tiny dust particle in the entirety of cosmos. They not only make things difficult for others by their presence, but often go out of their way to do that.
Fuck this! -
Story && rant && dev && linux
I was using linux mint for a while... more like 5 months for work, there's this Touchpad/mouse issue in it that was driving me crazy, so basically the mouse stops responding out of nowhere in the middle of my coding and I have to restart the fucking laptop to get it back. Yeah, I tried all the solutions I could find on the Internet and nothing works.
This issue likes to fucking mess with me so much, it seems to only happen when I absolutely mustn't restart the laptop or I'm working on a task and have a tight deadline and I don't have time to waste restarting my pc.
A couple of days ago, I had this major feature I needed to release to production and the time I estimated for it and shared with my team turned out to be insufficient, so I had to work extra hours from home to finish it ... while I was working, the mouse issue returned and I had to restart my pc like 20 times that day. It was fucking frustrating and It was already midnight and all you can hear are keyboard sounds and fucks flying.
I made a promise to myself that once i finish this task, I'm gonna fucking migrate to another distro, I'm fed up with linux mint's BS. I've been putting up with it for so long it's time to move on.
Yesterday I installed Manjaro and I'm happily working on it today xD.6 -
As much fun it is to code and create new features for users. Take a break from the computer and spend time with real people.
A few years ago I would stay at work to get tasks done. While everyone in the office would go home I would stay and finish some task. After doing that for a few months my wife started to yell at me.
It made me realize that no matter how important a new feature, a bug or optimizing code is family and the relationships you have are more important.4 -
Have you ever felt like your company is just some shell company, making meaningless projects to feed someone's appetite of bossing people around so that it doesn't look bad in taxes because he's paying himself with the salary and we don't even know what's connected to what and noticing weird relationships like some workers are of the same family members, who are also project managers but your salary is okay enough to keep your mouth shut?5
-
I had the oppertunity to join a non profit organization to help them automate stuff instead of serving the army. One of their core applications got rewritten like a year ago from a terrible and very old Symfony stack to Laravel / React.
The guys who were in charge for the rewrite didn't really adapt the mindset of either MVC for Laravel nor the component idea behind React. There are a few controllers in the backend, but they sometimes have functions defined which would clearly belong in a model or service class. They rarely defined relationships on models, instead they're joining the tables together for the same effect. The frontend rendering mostly happens in for loops over the returned array from the API instead of breaking things down into little components. This ends in components which have sometimes over 1000 lines with super-nested logic in it.
But I did find my favorite piece of code today in of the controllers. Some many questions ...
6 -
I've became sort of an introvert over the years, because of bad relationships.
I started uni this year, and I thought I could make some good new friends.
Totally wrong.
The majority of them are 18+, but they seem like 10...
Stupid and dumb conversations, and during classes they are always laughing and talking...
Fuck!
And I have concentration problems, and with everyone talking is hard to concentrate.
This is going to be a hard year.....7 -
Damn, I really love programming. ❤️
It's way more uplifting and satisfactory than having a significant other.
Even my botched WP installs are more stable than most pseudo-longterm relationships nowadays.
Oh yeah and another thing:
How is it so extremely hard or even impossible for a lot of women to admit their own fucking wrongdoings to a close person?
Mind boggling.20 -
What's your view on workplace relationships or hook ups? 😄
(Sticking an RJ45 in your pooper doesn't count btw.)10 -
Several years ago, I heard from a friend who was doing assignments for students on the side. Quite a hustle. His story began when he wanted to figure out why can't these students be able to draw their own database tables, relationships, UML, etc. That's what school has to be teaching them and then he was told that they were learning through MS Access. He goes and tell me that even though this is a lame way of teaching database design, its definitely easier to explain through hands-on and less typing mistakes, as according to the lecturer he met. Making the explanation more visually appealing and helpful for understanding.
OK I get it, but somehow that taught them the wrong way of database design from the beginning. I'd prefer getting them to start writing SQL commands from day 1 and play em at some DB VM. Keep em as real as it gets.
Now I have my own students asking for help in their assignment and also asked for tutoring lessons in web development. So I gave them the crash course in HTML, CSS and Javascript. I've asked them if they've used anything of what I taught them in school. They go and tell me that they've been taught web development through Wordpress. Oh WTF!? I havn't talked to their lecturer yet but it better be a really good explanation to teach these youngsters in a flawed and bloated PHP CMS framework for "web development".2 -
Worst architecture I've seen?
The worst (working here) follow the academic pattern of trying to be perfect when the only measure of 'perfect' should be the user saying "Thank you" or one that no one knows about (the 'it just works' architectural pattern).
A senior developer with a masters degree in software engineering developed a class/object architecture for representing an Invoice in our system. Took almost 3 months to come up with ..
- Contained over 50 interfaces (IInvoice, IOrder, IProduct, etc. mostly just data bags)
- Abstract classes that implemented the interfaces
- Concrete classes that injected behavior via the abstract classes (constructors, Copy methods, converter functions, etc)
- Various data access (SQL server/WCF services) factories
During code reviews I kept saying this design was too complex and too brittle for the changes everyone knew were coming. The web team that would ultimately be using the framework had, at best, vague requirements. Because he had a masters degree, he knew best.
He was proud of nearly perfect academic design (almost 100% test code coverage, very nice class diagrams, lines and boxes, auto-generated documentation, etc), until the DBAs changed table relationships (1:1 turned into 1:M and M:M), field names, etc, and users changed business requirements (ex. concept of an invoice fee changed the total amount due calculation, which broke nearly everything).
That change caused a ripple affect that resulted in a major delay in the web site feature release.
By the time the developer fixed all the issues, the web team wrote their framework and hit the database directly (Dapper+simple DTOs) and his library was never used.1 -
when you got used to coding PHP in uni then the first job you get uses Python.
PM got me like: you gotta unlearn your PHP in here and don't ever compare the past with the present.
just like in relationships... don't ever compare the present with your ex -
!rant
As most of us are aware, developers often struggle to find romantic partners, often due to introversion or working unsociable hours. So, devs who HAVE found that special someone, how did you meet them?15 -
I found this funny, or my dev-humor is just really bad :>
Friend: Ugh
Friend: Java and BlueJ.
Friend: Why you indicate relationships between classes that have no relationships.
Friend: Fu BueJ
Me: It's called a crush :wink:
Me: *badum-tssss*
Precision: As in having a crush on a person, but no relationship :)1 -
So, today is the final day of my internship, and I was almost done, until my fucking assface of a client calls me, and suddenly want 10000000 fucking things changed in a database, and I'm not just talking "Could you add this field?" Or make this default to that, no I'm talking change of relationships, schemas and the whole shebang, oh and suddenly the product also needs localization for 3 fucking languages, but it hasn't been built for this shit. Thank God my assessment was yesterday, I just noped right out of here.
People, don't be dicks, think what you want your product to be before starting the development1 -
You know how it is, you are doing ok with your tatty made from salvaged spaceship dodging the pirates and doing a spot of mining.
When you start asking for advice..
How could I do things better ?
Well, everyone and their dog says what a rubbish setup you got and how you should get a top of the line model Tesla or something.
So, after much research about how much better those are, and listening to everyone else, you trade in your old model for a newer one..
Then you find out what a piece of junk it is !
It's 10 times more complicated to use, not really fun anymore..
It isn't quite as good, you worry it is going to break every time you park and bump the side of the parking bay..
Too late now, you traded in your old piece of junk that you loved..
It's just not the same..
It looks prettier I guess..
Perhaps that is a metaphor for relationships. :-)5 -
!devrant.
More like 'relationship' rant.
The following is gonna be kinda crude and not work appropriate just fyi.
First, whats with this trend of 'shave your pussy", and small tits? Shit just a few years ago it was the opposite! Who wants to fuck a women who looks like an undeveloped boy. Give me a good medium pair of knockers and a (slightly) hairy pussy anyday and I'm in heaven.
On that note, all these guys whining and fucking whinging about "fat" women. Like I'm not chasing deathfat women or anything, but come on dudes. If you're gonna demand 'thin beautiful women' put in the fucking work! Just saying it now. Kinda pudgy, not a deal breaker for me. She have a pretty face, looks good in make up? Fuck it, I'll give her the time of day. Don't come at me with "hurrr...fat is unhealthy! Wheres your standards?"
Wheres YOUR fucking standards? Shit, I could take a 'heavy' girl and in a few months time have her trim. Its about the WORK you put in. All these fucking guys, all these fucking guys man, they all want something for nothing and chicks for free. No one wants to put in the fucking EFFORT anymore. I can't name on one hand the number of 'fat ugly chicks' everyone ignored from school (well except for me), who are now bombshells. If I stayed connected with people maybe I'd be with one of em right now, but I just get tired of this attitude that no one invests any time in others any more. It's all about 'me me me'.
Shes fat, maybe only a few extra pounds? Fat and 'not beautiful'? Fucking DO THE WORK and make her beautiful you bitch! Be her coach, like those fucking instagram couples you see sweating it out. Make her sexy. Become sexy, together.
Get her a fucking treadmill. Get her two. And jog together. Make her *feel* sexy.
More importantly get to *know* her. Why does she get out of bed in the morning? What drive her NOT to get out of bed? When does she feel lousy? What makes her feel that way? In addition to all the other shit men should know how to do, you should learn to play doctor phil, because every girl needs one. Women bond by talking, men bond by doing things together. Relationships should involve both.
Jesus fucking christ, this is basic bitch advice, and it annoys me I keep on coming across these spergs that don't fucking get it. Women are not cars you can stick your key in and just go 'vroom'.
They require maintenance, same as anything, any 'relationship' (because really, what are relationships in 2020, with instagram and fucking tinder and antisocial distancing?). You're a *team*, and i don't mean that in an inspirational way. You're a literal team. And far too many people prioritize the well being and success and concern of 'I' over' 'us'.
In short, if she ain't coming, you shouldn't be either. And if you expect her to on-the-regular put sharp objects on her fucking nether regions, don't expect any blowjobs unless you're doing the same thing for yourself!
Ideally you should be doing it to each other.
After all, you're partners. You trust her to put sharp objects near your groin, right?
Aren't relationships supposed to be about mutual trust?30 -
I hate those mother fucking, Cock sucking, dick farting retarded faggots, who get the opportunity of a new job/internship just because they have a certain "relative" in the said company/organisation.
I mean its ok that you are getting an opportunity, but just don't act all-knowing-god-tier while you don't even know how to print a statement in c++ and got it.
How many more relationships should I increase of mine so that I get into the same position like them.
One of my friends got the internship just because his girlfriend's brother works for the firm.
Now that's just super barbaric unless he gave a blowjob to the gf's brother.
Their Fucking assholes need to be drilled by a giant pile drivers.5 -
!dev, depressing topic warning
-----PADDING START-------
Thanks for the update and for me to get a new one and it was the same as the one I have is a trial run to the store and get some rest and feel better soon and that is why I am asking for a friend to talk to you about your day and I don't know yet if I can get it to me by the end of the day I was in the shower and then I will be able to make it
--------
Do you ever feel there's like no real point to life, like you could die tomorrow, you wouldn't really care?
I feel life is ok, I've got it a lot better then others in my situation at least financially. But in terms of relationships probably not and I don't have much interest in developing any.
And looking at the future, I just don't see it going anywhere or getting any better? I could be easily replaced, forgotten, not doing anything meaningful.... And the only other people that would notice and remember are my parents.
I enjoy doing things but in the long run they make no difference. I can have short term goals like maybe for the next few weeks, months but if someone asks where do I what to be a year from now, what do I want to accomplish, there answer is "I don't know and I don't care"...
And I guess that's the point, each day sorta just feels like whatever...13 -
[internet, real life, !dev]
I'm sitting 11h on the bus again.
You guys/girls/etc opinion on long term relationships?3 -
I only have stories of dating affecting my code, relationships are so energy consuming... So much easier to be alone and deal with it.2
-
"Vitamin B" as we say in Germany.
Would be something like "Vitamin R" in english, it's all about relationships to the right people.3 -
Because the client had me roasting on a spit in nearly impossible features Hell for an entire year on a piece of custom software that ate up all the budget and my profitability, I completely forgot about a major other requirement that now will take me months to integrate. And they still haven't paid me for my other work so I can pay my other dev. My vendor/client negotiating "prowess" got me from "still not paid" to "indentured servitude".
FML. How did I convince myself that I'm good at business relationships?Why did I think I would be able to do custom software? I need to stick to just designing websites as a rank and file employee. No, actually I need to disappear until North Korea starts thermonuclear war and nobody cares about software anymore. -
The amount of willful ignorance about how “master/slave” might be offensive to some people is disheartening. Not surprising, but disheartening.
I thought it was suspect back in the 90s when I was configuring IDE hard drives.
There are loads of terms that express the exact same relational concept, that don’t have their roots in exploitative human relationships.
If you disagree, kindly fuck off. Your shitty attitude is why tech is predominantly white and male.30 -
My best friend's ex is really cool. But while they were dating, I was a bit frustrated, mainly because he was interested in many things she wasn't.
One thing that annoyed me was that his major is computer science, and her major is medical research.
GIRL, IF ONLY YOU WERE ALSO MAJORING IN COMPUTERS. YOU CAN ASK THE GUY FOR HELP WITH YOUR ASSIGNMENTS. EXPLOIT HIIIIM. HAVE COFFEE DATES AT STARBUCKS AND CODE TOGETHEEER. HIT TWO BIRDS WITH ONE STONE10 -
If there's something I fucking hate with all my goddamned soul is when you post something online and people get in their fucking high horse and judge you or tell you what to do
Like I understand if you're talking shit about people in the same community, then if someone tells you you're an idiot, I get it.
But if you're ranting about someone off site, then why judge this person? What's the damage being caused to you or the site?
For example, let's say I rant about my wife and the things that annoy me about her, and I use some colorful language to get it off my chest.
There's always one motherfucker, one stupid piece of shit that says something out of line.
In general it's one of these things:
* "wow, you need to calm down, you clearly treat her like shit, she is better than you*
YOU IGNORANT PIECE OF DOGSHIT. DO YOU HAVE CAMERAS IN MY HOUSE AS TO ASSUME THAT I TALK TO HER IN THE SAME MANNER AS I DID IN THIS POST?
YOU GULLIBLE SHIT EATER.
OF FUCKING COURSE I DON'T TALK TO HER LIKE THIS. I'M NOT AN ASSHOLE OR A MONSTER. I AM JUST R-A-N-T-I-N-G.
AND I RANT IN THIS MANNER SO AS TO GET IT OFF MY CHEST AND NOT FIGHT WITH HER. AND IT TENDS TO WORK. DOES IT REALLY NEED TO BE EXPLAINED?
Jaysus fucking christ. These people actually have the imagination of a fish, they can't fucking connect the dots.
Judging someone online is an egotistical thing. People like to judge others because of that morality high. It's the snack of the morally lazy.
Repeat with me: "I am flawed too, I have problems too. I should never judge others easily, let alone without full fucking context".
* "op, you should do <terrible advice>"
these ones are better, because they are trying to help, but still annoying as fuck.
they come in two forms:
old smug and condescending washed up idiots who overrate their life lessons and think they are applicable to every person A PRIORI.
yeah, fuck case by case analysis, these dinosaurs think they're the wise elders of the village.
Age does not immediately mean your advices are valid, your advices are valid on the sole merit of being valid by themselves.
I don't give 2 fucks if you're 60 or 120. If your advices are bullshit, please spare me the idiocy and the lack of case analysis.
I had old people tell me "trust me kid, happy wife, happy life" wtf is that shit? MY WIFE IS NOT YOUR WIFE.
YOU DON'T KNOW MY WIFE. MY WIFE IS ACTUALLY COOL, BUT SHE COULD BE AN ACTUAL PSYCHO AND I COULD BE OMITTING THAT FROM MY POST.
THEREFORE, HAPPY WIFE HAPPY LIFE IS A TERRIBLE THING TO SAY.
JUST STFU.
This reminds of that disgusting reddit post where a father asked advice on /r/relationships about her wife, and people told him "dude, duh, divorce her".
Guess what, she ends up murdering both of her children.
You would think such post would serve a lesson as to be careful giving advice online. But no, people think they're fucking dr phil or something with EXTREMELY LITTLE case knowledge.
People need to talk a bit less and listen a whole lot more.
You want to know how to help a person who is expressing problems?
You want to know how to be REALLY conpassionate?
Just listen. You can give minimal advice, but listening is the most important, with some occasional "i feel you man".
Everytime a journalist asks a suicide disuader what do they do, they always say the same " i just listen to their problems".
ITS NOT FUCKING ROCKET SCIENCE FOLKS. YOU WANT TO KNOW HOW TO BE A GOOD PERSON? CLOSE THE MOUTH AND TAKE THE WAX OUTTA YA EARS.
There's also the younger ones who think they can help when they don't even have no experience at all.
This is being naive, but I Iike that more than the smugness of old people.12 -
Broke up with my girlfriend due to ongoing stress to commit to the relationship, to perform at my current job, graduating early next March, looking for a full time job/studying for interviews, and going to school.
We never really planned long term and we were just in the relationship to have fun, but man do breakups suck.
I want to be able to focus on myself so I can set myself up for greatness in the future. Unfortunately that means sacrifices have to be made so I don’t lose my mind. Oof4 -
Hey there people, I have a few questions regarding neo4j. Your experience could also be very useful to me here @dfox.
1. Is neo4j good for storing user data, like password hashes, etc.. In addition to the regular relationships with other components of the ecosystem
2. Is neo4j good enough to accommodate a really large number of users..
3. Does DevRant use a dual database, like user info in Mongo and relationships like comments and ++ on neo4j or is it like everything on neo4j
For q.3, if you're not @dfox then just provide an idea of how you would handle the situation.7 -
!rant
Relationships are like github projects, you can push, merge, commit, have issues, etc. Just don't go open source....6 -
The only relationships that exist in my life, are the ones in my projects' ER diagrams. And they too are infected with foreign keys..!
-
++realationships
!rant
I have to make a hard decision. Either I choose to aim for a woman I knew from before first grade or aim for a programmer that I met on a joint project. It's a very hard decision and I need insight. For both people I only have mutual realations.11 -
Maybe is just me but I'm starting to move from the idea that work needs to be fun at all.
If it is, awesome! If it's not it's OK because work is just about 20% of my life in which I don't have a lot of control but enables me to have control over the other 80% (hobbies, relationships, community, fun)3 -
A dedicated team has built an "infrastructure" for creating UI for c++ developers in the company. What looks like a poor attempt at recreating what Microsoft did with XAML at first glance, it actually is a horrible exercise in force feeding people the stinking pile of shit that their code is.
The idea is to make it easy to create UI for developers who aren't used to front end development. They should just need to declare the layout. Very noble.
But.
If you want to do anything more than show a checkbox or a radio button, if you dare to define relationships between the UI controls or worse, if you get ambitious with creating a simple UI that uses a lot of similar controls and similar relationships with dynamic content... be prepared to eat your own barf from eating too much of their shit.
Not only do you now need to write front end code (including JS among others), you need to do it with limited or poor support and you have to make sure that it sits well with the house of moist, crumbly cards the team proudly created. Or resort to some very stupid and performance costing "bypasses" that further cripple your application code. Usually you have to do both of these things.
To think that scores of other teams have welcomed this amazing enhancement with full support without any resistance. It's sickening.
I waste too much of energy (and good jokes!) with these people.4 -
Stop shoving Django admin down everyones throat as a client facing solution every time we need any admin functionality.
It’s great at first but then you have to dick around customising it when you could build the same thing with any modern frontend framework and REST API easily.
Not to mention Django admin couples the models to the view it provides you (inlining particular models given their relationships) -
When considering ignorance and sucking up: is the entity relationship between head and ass a many to many?
-
So it's Valentine's day here in the states.
I don't know what to do for my GiF.
All I did was rm -rf objects around the apartment and she seemed pleased...Am I doing this relationship thing right?6 -
Is it possible at all to be a really good developer and maintain good interpersonal relationships?
2 -
I think I just realized the relationships between toons in Looney Toons: World of Mayhem is basically a graph... And so the optimal teams can be found by solving Pick 4 Vertices (toons) that maximize the # of Edges (positive relationships) between them...
Is there an algorithm that finds that or I just bring force it by testing all combos? Given the # of toons shouldn't take too long.2 -
SRE as Site Reliability Engineering was invited by Google in US.
SRE was also Sex and Relationships Education in UK.Until around 2017 when it was changed to RSE
Watching Sex Education on Netflix could be great source of funny memes for my workplace. Especially that my company is UK based :D1 -
So, I work as a sysadmin junior (6 months and going), and in the past few months, I learned what my boss warned me about - Devs don't understand us admins, and we don't understand the devs.
We have this huge client who is about to migrate to our company (We do mostly server managment/Housing/Renting), and I am so gald I don't have to work on the migration myself!
Just hearing what the company devs say makes me facepalm: No, it won't work. It cannot work on just 3 machines (They use like... 20 in total), no, we won't get rid of our docker swarm, that's essential (Doing the absolute minimum in their infrastructure, just a fancy buzzword to lure people on. Though they've spent like 2 years developing the app that uses it, so they my not want to give it up).
I kid you not, once, they replied to an email that contained the phrase "To be afraid of/worried about" something during the migration, that something could break, not work, be unstable. 7 times.
Might not sound as bad, but it was a rather short mail, and when they're so afraid of everything, its kinda hard to cooperate with them.
My colleague literally spent this entire week mapping out /their/ infrastructure, because they were unable to provide us with the description themselves.
And as a cherry on top, they sent us a "graph" of relationships of all the parts of their infrastructure that was this jumbled mess of rectangles and arrows. Oh, and half of all the machines were not even in the graph at all! Stating that "We also have all this, but I really don't know how to ilustracte the interactions anymore"
Why do companies like that exist? If you build an infrastructure yourself, shouldn't at least someone know exactly how it works?1 -
I keep obsessing about the time. I keep looking for patterns as the day goes on. I noticed the other day that these patterns for time have math relationships in each:
15:18:21 ie 15 + 3 = 18 and 18 + 3 = 21
03:18:21 ie 3 + 18 = 21
One time is morning at 3 am the other is evening at 3 pm. I cannot stop looking for these.
Is the descent into madness?6 -
I’m a very logical person (INTP), so that’s probably why I like coding, and it definitely affects my relationships. I’m not very emotional, and that’s an issue when your partner demands you to be. When I’m down I make a plan in my head how I’ll deal with that issue and that lifts me back up. But there are people who simply need to be lied to telling them things will be just okay. So, yeah. I need to find girls who are also logical at least to some extent.6
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"Its s rather simple idea with only four real relationships that need considered. So we need to know, can you do with 70 hours? This is the time we're throwing by him and its his high end price range." I reluctantly agree with many hesitant points made.
150 hours later: project has 28 tables, more than 12 pivot tables. I sit here staggered for days on how relationships even will tie together in the end as our designers (who wireframe and promise this and that based on their wireframes) had delivered feature sets that are near impossible to reach. -
I always feared databases, but Django makes it so comprehensible. I only have to define relationships, and everything else is taken care of under the hood. Love it!11
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Semi-colons(;), ruining lives, relationships and careers since 1995.
Because, what else could make you want to hit your boss with a keyboard?2 -
I think the only real constant thing that will never change is code. I can go back to it and the rules are plain and simple, none of the hard grey areas.
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Dealing with relationships when you are a night owl. I don't burn the midnight oil like in my twenties but I don't want to go to sleep at 1030pm. Midnight is typical but I feel my actions affect my missus as she can't sleep when I'm not there...that said..she has issues sleeping anyway or nodding off. Whereas I can fall asleep in front a TV that's on no problems or whenever my head hits a pillow. I sleep on the couch when I stay up so I don't disturb her. Or does everyone here have a cushy work life balance job where you only work 9 to 5 and don't need to be on the pc.
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Once and a while a smarty pants developer I like will mention something and I'll assume they use it often and have vetted it. In this case, I'm pretty sure the person only used WordPress Pods once on some very specific thing - because after digging into it and using it on a project, I can't imagine this being a good idea... This is definitely its own path... It sure is a lot of extra work to get some basic relationships going. I'm sure it's great for some people, but for me - it's a lot of fighting what is supposed to be helpful.1
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A week ago me and my classroom visited Pentalog and they Presented us in major terms how they're teams work and what is mostly going on in an IT consulting company. It was pretty cool. I loved every job or position they presented except Scrum Master and the person who manages the database.
I saw most of them how nice they were how they got along, it makes it hard for me to understand how many ranters are crying about relationships with other collegues. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯1 -
@Flux
I read https://devrant.com/rants/1845851/...
I was going to comment until I realized it was a post from 300 days ago.
Just want to say ask you how it went or give a post mortem. Also Congratulations. I hope you brought a long run way when you started almost a year ago.
Remember starting is 80% of finishing, and carrying through is the other 20%.
Success looks easy when all you see are the success stories. Steve jobs wasn't the most famous marketer, he was the most famous salesman, and what he sold was a dream.
Marketing is a buzzword, and a lot of companies try to use marketing as a replacement for sales people, but nothing really beats a good sales person or team. Thats the secret to marketing: forgo it as much as possible and work on sales and relationships instead. Awareness is nice, but money and sales are better.
This coming from a guy who had six businesses by the time he was twenty six and helped his family to start two other successful businesses.
Apparently I'm good at helping other people make money just not good at helping myself do it.
What I've learned is if you can get 1 customer you can get 10 and if you can get 10 you can get 100. And then keep going.
Good luck.3 -
For me coding is a huge part of my mindset. I could be having a conversation with a gf and be debugging an issue in my head. I could wake up in the middle of the night and start coding an idea I had just thought of. Especially if I'm working on something I'm too excited about, I will work hours, days straight and not make time for much else. So I've phased through quite a few relationships this way (especially with normies) 🤷♂️ I almost feel like I'd have to be with someone as obsessed as I am for things to work out lol
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Question, is one way to build a team, is to make sure they do tasks that they always complete, so they feel like winners ?
I guess the same could be said for relationships..
Just I was pondering, that playing computer games against AI that you can beat, gives you some kind of mental boost doesn't it ?
It reminds me of forums, that at times, people debate, not for the content, but because they feel good if they have the last word. (They win..)
This can make having technical discussions difficult if people aren't really trying to be helpful, but instead are trying to score points over the next person !
Ideally by being more helpful. :-)
But sometimes, or often, depending upon the system, this degrades into an all out mud slinging match where the original starting point was lost and someone resorts to mentioning Hitler..
So, it made me wonder, other than getting a bunch of folk to play against AI and feeling good about it, what other team building exercises could you do that could help you to build a team in the first place ?
I'm thinking, maybe all those silly hippy games of find the teddybear in the woods, aren't so stupid after all..
Though, once you have a bunch of teddybear loving hippies, how do you then get them to build a geothermal power plant and give free electricity to the poor..
That always seems a sticking point !
"Right team, lets go and plant some veg!"
FX [ Watches as entire team goes to the pub instead.. ]15 -
Remember that git commits are just like commitments in a relationship.
Make them small and avoid the big ones.6 -
I never had a fight. And I mean never at all, not just dev-related.
I'm not sure that this is a good thing.
Sometimes I wonder, does this mean that I'm a good diplomat, or that I'm not relevant enough to argue with?1 -
Have a freelance job where they require documentation of the code for later development. (+ I'd like to document my personal projects for practice)
Any web devs that could give some pointers on what kind of docs you would like to get if someone hands you a legacy project?
Obviously: comments in code and db structure and relationships1 -
Fuck entity framework code first! It's a pain in the ass making relationships work with code first! 😑😑6
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So i'm a laravel dev and i love it. However one thing that only seems to happen late at night is when working with Eloquent i always end up putting () when working with relationships.
Last night i spent about 2 hours messing with
public function members(){
return $this->hasManyThrough(
'App\Member', 'App\ConversationMember',
'conversation_id', 'id', 'id'
);
}
only to find out i was calling it via
$conversation->members() instead of $conversation->members
This morning when i opened up the IDE i immediately figured out what i was doing wrong.... sometimes burning the late night oil is counter productive i guess you could say -
When you work on a project for months, the newly appointed tech lead says "we all (him, the boss and other colleagues not involved in this project) looked at your code and decided that it should be dropped and we are starting from scratch again....now I'm not against code review (which we never did) so I welcome the input but allow me to vent my frustrations about how this is being done. Also to have a review & verdict without me being present?
So I ask what was so wrong:
* You changed the database structure. Valid, I tried to make your db an actual db with relationships, so I added some foreign keys, delete fields that were never used, all because they told me to use an ORM.
* You used to much logic in setters, validation etc, valid again but this would be something we could look at and fix imho.
* You are passing classes in your constructor, valid I wanted to use DI to make unit testing possible. Ohh but I don't like unit testing so I don't see the point and it makes it to complicated was the response.
So not only was the project cancelled, the new iteration is being developed without me, I'm shunned from all meetings. Ohh and from what I see they are now using 5 tables instead of 25 and completely started the db model from scratch...5 -
I'm FRICKIN' TIRED of all the 'devs forever alone' memes! I mean I have a girlfriend and reading rants here I've come across various people in relationships.....then why still all the jokes and hate? I know it can be tough dating a dev but still it's not impossible! Let's start a poll here.....how many of you claim to be 'not single'?6
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- "the workflow inbox is broke.."
- "INBOX MY ASS. ask the asshole who vomit this to fix it!"
me dealing with an inbox made of two columns with imagenry relationships. -
Giving a shit goes a long way.
When you care about something you give enough attention to it to make it better and to protect it from harm whether it be your career, family, relationships, or whatever. -
When all the feedback you get from a damned class diagram was "Ok looks good :)"
Not sure if good because it doesn't look like a complicated cobweb anymore or because the relationships established were right - though I doubt you can say that just by looking for a mere 30 seconds at a class diagram with more than 20 classes. -
Today I made a class to do one simple thing. Duplicate a database entry along with a few of its relationships. At first it didn't make sense to create one class for that but I decided to follow my SOLID gut. It ended up being almost 100 lines long with just one entry function working as a route controller. Thank God for SOLID principles...
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Hey everyone, I have a quick question that idk where to ask.
Basically I'm looking for the job title for someone that manages servers on the software level, the backend services of an application. The person whose main task is to design the relationships between services so that everything's maintainable and efficient.3 -
For me it's definitely teaching. Whether I teach coding or any mathematical or even theoretical subjects. I find that when you teach someone you learn how to communicate better and transfer knowledge effectively. Communication is key in client relationships.
Secondly when you teach someone a concept you think you understand you tend to find flaws in the way you understand that subject matter by forcing you to hear your explanation out loud. This in turn will make you delve deeper into that subject matter and make you understand it better, rearranging your own perceptions and correcting those flaws. -
Any strong opinions on giving resignation notice via email? I've previously given notice in person during a 1 on 1 conversation, but I had good relationships with my managers. I work at a larger company now where I feel like the paper trail could be valuable, and I don't have a very warm and fuzzy relationship with my manager. I feel kind of sleazy just sending an email, but asking for an out of the blue zoom meeting just feels weirder somehow than tapping them on the shoulder for a quick chat.2
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I know this is not a de devrant, but I had a girlfriend for about a year. And today I found out she cheated on me twice the last few weeks.
How should a programmer deal with this?5 -
When I normalize a database, it always feels like I cannot predict Cascading, leaving broken relationships and trash queries.2
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How are you handling junior/senior relationships, were you are the junior and have the feeling of being a burden on the senior?6
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Being worst in relationships and having hard time in debugging on a simple query with multiple table joins was an disaster for me
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Learn git. Contribute to open source projects - you may learn more from code review on a single PR than from a whole tutorial. Ask questions constantly. Learn more git. Look for the cleanest solution to a problem. Write code that is easy to improve, easy to expand, and easy to debug. Learn even more git. Don't limit yourself to thinking only in terms of OOP, or functional, or procedural, or whatever type of programming you may be comfortable with. Don't be afraid to do some work by hand. Learn git, so that when all comes crashing down and your team crumbles to pieces, when your relationships fail and your friends disappear, when you're down on your luck and there truly is no hope left in life, you can check out of the dangerous world of your current HEAD and return to the home and comfort of your master branch, which you've kept safe, secure, and functional.
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