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I've just wasted 3 hours on this shit
Apparently when you use -device loader in qemu to load raw code into your vm and start executing it, qemu thinks that - actually - you didn't really want to execute from 0x00007c00. What you *really* wanted is to execute random fucking gibberish at 0xffff07c00
Yes qemu, that's *exactly* what I wanted!
*grumble* fckingpieceofshitsoftware *grumble*
rant
osdev
fuck you
qemu