My friend and I were calling each other programming languages trying to degrade each other based on the cons of a language... Then he called me PHP 😢😢

Eres un panochon. Y creo que te gusta tragar verga.

Basically, it means in Spanish that you are a man of great wisdom

Could have been worse.
He could have called you Java 😇

Call him visual basic

@hashris woah... Not the V word

PHP is not bad, at least not PHP7 and its move towards OOP

@zickig ignorant and very outdated summary*

Call him visual fox pro 🤣

call him basic.

or malbolge

@zickig sigh

“Recalling the exact syntax for the built-in stab() function, you make a sane assumption and call shoot(GUN, FOOT); The foot shoots your gun.”

array_ functions are ($needle, $haystack) and string functions are ($haystack, $needle), they are consistent that way and that is the only difference.

“PHP is easy to deploy.”

Last time I checked anything made easier is a plus.

“PHP is easier to pick up than Perl/Python/Ruby/etc.”

No, PHP's documentation is far from incomplete and the incorrect user-provided comments get downvoted which puts them at the bottom.

“More people know PHP than Perl/Python/Ruby/etc.”

His argument can be said about any language. Take JavaScript for example, there are people out there so addicted to it that they write desktop applications and operating systems on it.

@zickig

“PHP makes it easy to build web sites!” a/k/a “PHP provides templating and embedding of code with HTML built-in!”

Outdated. This has not been a standard practice for a long time with the adoption of MVC.

"Specific Reasons Why PHP Is Inferior to Other Languages"

The ternary operator

Sure PHP implements it backwards, although if you chain ternary operators you are bad and you should feel bad so I like to think of this as a feature.

The || and && operators

Outdated and wrong. || is an OR operator and it does what it's supposed to. Also there's the ?? operator which does exactly what he wants.

Higher-Order Programming

Outdated and on a side note not having closures isn't the end of the world.

Other Issues

"In PHP, the names of built-in functions are inconsistent."

True that.

Magic Quotes

Long gone and outdated.