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Coding Teacher: "you'll need your laptops for the exam. To prevent you from cheating I'll disable the network now"
...pulls out the network cable on his machine...
"okay you can start now"
I was looking for about a month for a laptop. Then on this one magical day I open kijiji and see a Toshiba Thinkpad T450s with 20gb of ram, 138 ssd and an i5-6300U cpu going fo 500$ (value 2000+).
My first thought was. Okay. Scam alert. But you know. What if?
So I call up this person. And its a girl who got a pc from her bf, but really she wanted a mac so she is selling it.
This straight up blew my mind. I decided, fuck it. Got 500. Ran to her. Ran a systems check on the laptop. Checked for any attempts at opening it up. Checked the harddrive. Checked the ram. Everything is solid.
Long story short. Thank god for apple fangirls!33
Girlfriend thinks the only reason I feel her breasts is because I don't have a DevRant stress ball 🙈🤔🤓18
Also me: Google how to center a div.35
*Admin leaves his computer unlocked*
1. Takes a desktop screenshot and flips it and sets it as background.
2. Disables right click.
3. Hides taskbar.
4. Flips the screen.
5. Connects keyboard to another computer close by with screen off.
6. Has the time of the week.
*Hopefully, there is no revenge 😁*9
Shit... I just got my phone stolen. Realized it 40 seconds post factum [left it at the shop counter and someone took it].
20 minutes later called the police [cuz I had to get home and use wife's phone].
5 min later poluce arrived
10 min later they got all they could from shop's security officer.
Police officer asks me to login my samsung acc on his phone. 2 minutes later we are on the way to the exact location my phone is at.
15 minutes later officer hands me my samsung 😁
got my phone back in less than an hour after theft.
maybe... Ummm... Maybe all this tracking thing is not that bad...?17
TL;DR: Don't ever interrupt me while taking a shit.
>be me taking a shit comfortably in the bathroom, not bothering anyone
>hear my cousin outside calling his gf
>suddenly stuff comes flying through the window and hear her gf laughing in his phone speaker
>stupid asshat was trying to make his gf laugh by bothering me while in the debug room
>scream from the top of my lungs for him to stop interrupting my defecation process
>stuff keeps coming from the window
>my brown creation comes back inside like a scared turtle
>pull up pantaloons
>get out of thinking room
>open up laptop, start ubuntu
>sudo apt-get install aircrack-ng
>enable monitor mode, get phone, ap mac addresses
>write small script that deauths his phone and then waits some seconds and then starts over again so he doesn't think it's me
>:wq and make script executable
>sleep 180; cowsay ding dong ur vengeance has arrived; sudo ./shittyvengeance.sh
>tuck into bed and close laptop before sleep time ends
>his call suddenly drops
>"Matt are you messing up with my WiFi again?"
>"Nah man. Not working for me either. Must be localcompany's problem."
>mfw he can't talk with his gf for more than 15 seconds before losing connection
>figure that it was the most useful thing I had made in a pc in these two years at uni
>be proud of me for making a stupid script
>think about going back to my pearl white throne
>no longer wanting to drop my supplies
>go to sleep
>mfw forgot to wipe ass
My first story in devRant! Was lurking for quite a while and finally felt like sharing something 🙃27
Want to read a horror story?
Number of computers
I was once working on a project that dealt with incredibly sensitive financial data.
We needed a client’s database to do a migration.
They wouldn’t send it over the internet because it was too big and they didn’t think it would be secure.
They opt to send it in the post on an encrypted usb drive.
(Fair enough thinks I)
USB drive arrives.
Is indeed encrypted.
MFW there’s a post it note in the envelope with the password on.
MFW this is a billion dollar multinational petrochem company.
MFW this same company’s ‘sysadmin’ and ‘dba’ once complained because a SQL script I sent them didn’t work - they’d pasted it twice and couldn’t work this out from the fucking “table already created” error message management studio was throwing at them.3
Another story from that dev friend of mine:
So a client(small company) of theirs insisted on having their own local servers for their web hosting(no idea why). So my friend's company sets it up(after the website was done).(This was on Tuesday.)
The next weekend they(friend's company) gets an urgent support ticket saying the website is down.
(24/7 support is part of their contract/)
My friend gets tasked with that ticket.
And indeed it's down, ssh access to the server doesn't work either.
He calls up the client's CEO(again, small company, no other contact person) and asks him to restart the server. This guy then drives to their warehouse. As soon as he has restarted them(as instructed) the site works again.
My friend then tries to access the server logs(via sshfs) when his connection to the server drops and the website goes down again.
He calls the client again, asking what he's done, this is their conversation:
F(friend): What did you do?
C(client): Nothing, I just left the building.
C: Yes, sure. I turned off the lights and left.
F(suspecting something, knowing that the client is an older person): How did you turn of the lights?
C: Like always, with the breaker by the door.
F: *Facepalm* You can't do that, the servers need electricity to work.
C: Oh.. *Akward silence* *Hangs up*
*5 min later the website's up again and the ticket is closed*6
A freelancer I know just told me this:
Client: You haven't been working for the last two weeks.
Him: Acutally I have. *checks git* I made over 50 commits the last 10 work days.
Client: I don't see them.
Him: Have you pulled from the remote?
Client: *akward silence* *hangs up after one minute*
Needless to say he was pissed.6
Sharing a short story.
Time: 1:30 am
Conversation between me and a night watchman in my society.
I was walking and this watchman suddenly stopped me and started asking questions.
Watchman: Isn't it late at 1:30am. When do u sleep?
Me: I sleep very late (replied in a very uninterested manner)
Watchman: Which year are you?
Me: Final year of Graduation
Watchman: Which branch?
Me: (a bit annoyed now) Software Engineering
Watchman: So you know programming?
Me: (little shocked that he knows what's programming) Learning
Watchman: So, do your university teaches C, Python and UNIX?
Me:(completely shocked by his knowledge) Yup. Except UNIX, others yes.
Watchman then asked some fees related questions and placements scope.
I was annoyed when he approached me for a little talk.. But had a wonderful experience talking to this person. It's great when you meet such unexpected person having such knowledge.
When I asked him how he knows all these, he said he talks like this to many students and learnt it.
His last line to me when I said that you know a lot, was:
Sir, you are the ocean, I am a needle in it.
Truly awesome moment... Never judge anyone by looks or his occupation... Knowledge is something that anyone anywhere can gain...
Respect to that watchman...6
Me trying to find a good risotto recipe.
Sister-in-law, PhD: What about pumpkin or courgette and salmon?
Me: Could you add some parentheses?
SIL: (Pumpkin) or (courgette and salmon)?
Me: Much clearer, thanks! Go for courgette and salmon.6
[Boss man]: Hey, we need you to build us a web app.
[Me]: Okay, what do you need it to do?
[Boss man]: We need staff to be able to login from anywhere, create new appointments, check room availability, display live times for the rooms, schedule future appointments, record all the data as stats and export the stats to (email address).
[Me]: Okay, sounds useful, anything else?
[Boss man]: we also need it to send all relevant data to a calendar where certain staff will be notified by email of events.
[Me]: Okay... I'll get right on starting this.
[Boss man]: So you can have it done by the end of the day? (4 hours from this time)
[Me]: *Internal screaming* *WHAT THE FUCK* Uhm, no, I don't think that is possible to complete in a four hour period by myself.
[Boss man]: Okay, well by tomorrow then, I'm leaving for the day though, have a good one.
//End long rant12
My first job: The Mystery of The Powered-Down Server
I paid my way through college by working every-other-semester in the Cooperative-Education Program my school provided. My first job was with a small company (now defunct) which made some of the very first optical-storage robotic storage systems. I honestly forgot what I was "officially" hired for at first, but I quickly moved up into the kernel device-driver team and was quite happy there.
It was primarily a Solaris shop, with a smattering of IBM AIX RS/6000. It was one of these ill-fated RS/6000 machines which (by no fault of its own) plays a major role in this story.
One day, I came to work to find my team-leader in quite a tizzy -- cursing and ranting about our VAR selling us bad equipment; about how IBM just doesn't make good hardware like they did in the good old days; about how back when _he_ was in charge of buying equipment this wouldn't happen, and on and on and on.
Our primary AIX dev server was powered off when he arrived. He booted it up, checked logs and was running self-diagnostics, but absolutely nothing so far indicated why the machine had shut down. We blew a couple of hours trying to figure out what happened, to no avail. Eventually, with other deadlines looming, we just chalked it up be something we'll look into more later.
Several days went by, with the usual day-to-day comings and goings; no surprises.
Then, next week, it happened again.
My team-leader was LIVID. The same server was hard-down again when he came in; no explanation. He opened a ticket with IBM and put in a call to our VAR rep, demanding answers -- how could they sell us bad equipment -- why isn't there any indication of what's failing -- someone must come out here and fix this NOW, and on and on and on.
(As a quick aside, in case it's not clearly coming through between-the-lines, our team leader was always a little bit "over to top" for me. He was the kind of person who "got things done," and as long as you stayed on his good side, you could just watch the fireworks most days - but it became pretty exhausting sometimes).
Back our story -
An IBM CE comes out and does a full on-site hardware diagnostic -- tears the whole server down, runs through everything one part a time. Absolutely. Nothing. Wrong.
I recall, at some point of all this, making the comment "It's almost like someone just pulls the plug on it -- like the power just, poof, goes away."
My team-leader demands the CE replace the power supply, even though it appeared to be operating normally. He does, at our cost, of course.
Another weeks goes by and all is forgotten in the swamp of work we have to do.
Until one day, the next week... Yes, you guessed it... It happens again. The server is down. Heads are exploding (will at least one head we all know by now). With all the screaming going on, the entire office staff should have comped some Advil.
My team-leader demands the facilities team do a full diagnostic on the UPS system and assure we aren't getting drop-outs on the power system. They do the diagnostic. They also review the logs for the power/load distribution to the entire lab and office spaces. Nothing is amiss.
This would also be a good time draw the picture of where this server is -- this particular server is not in the actual server room, it's out in the office area. That's on purpose, since it is connected to a demo robotics cabinet we use for testing and POC work. And customer demos. This will date me, but these were the days when robotic storage was new and VERY exciting to watch...
So, this is basically a couple of big boxes out on the office floor, with power cables running into a special power-drop near the middle of the room. That information might seem superfluous now, but will come into play shortly in our story.
So, we still have no answer to what's causing the server problems, but we all have work to do, so we keep plugging away, hoping for the best.
The team leader is insisting the VAR swap in a new server.
One night, we (the device-driver team) are working late, burning the midnight oil, right there in the office, and we bear witness to something I will never forget.
The cleaning staff came in.
Anxious for a brief distraction from our marathon of debugging, we stopped to watch them set up and start cleaning the office for a bit.
Then, friends, I Am Not Making This Up(tm)... I watched one of the cleaning staff walk right over to that beautiful RS/6000 dev server, dwarfed in shadow beside that huge robotic disc enclosure... and yank the server power cable right out of the dedicated power drop. And plug in their vacuum cleaner. And vacuum the floor.
We each looked at one-another, slowly, in bewilderment... and then went home, after a brief discussion on the way out the door.
You see, our team-leader wasn't with us that night; so before we left, we all agreed to come in late the next day. Very late indeed.9
I am done with people, I just want one single room, with good internet, dual monitor setup... And I can spend my whole life like that... Being social, fuck that shit... I have devRant for that... and rest, I just want to code, listen to music, drink coffee and sleep like hell...
Why is it that I can understand some other dev's code faster that understanding someone's feelings. Why is it that I am good with principles of Programming Languages, but not the basic Principles of Humanity... Yes, I agree I don't have feelings, but is it wrong not to have feelings, I am a dev, I am supposed to be good with Codes, not humans... I want to be in my small space of close people. (My family), and that's it... I am no good with others. I hate Facebook, but love devRant, I spend more time on StackOverflow than that on WhatsApp. Why is it so... Why29
My thoughts when my uncle was introducing me to one of his friends.
(M = me, U = uncle, F = Uncle's friend)
U : Meet M, he is a software developer, he works at * blah *.
M (Internally): That is a very reasonable introduction.
U : * Continues speaking. *
M (Internally): No, staph! It was good enough. Don't go any further.
U : He does * blah blah *
M (Internally): That's not even remotely related to what I do.
U : If you have any tech related problems, he is your guy.
M (Internally): You should have kept shut.
U : If your phone slows down, he can fix it.
M (Internally): Why would you even say that !?
U : He can fix all you printer issues.
M (Internally): Excuse me. What. The. Fuck!?
U : You should definitely consult him before purchasing any tech.
M (Internally): That's it. I give up. There is no hope left.
F : * Gestures U to clam down. *
F : * Nods at M in a very assuring manner. As if he were saying, 'chill bro! Its all cool, I understand.' *
M (Internally): Hold on. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe there is some hope left.
F : So, tell me, how good are you with excel formulas?
M (Internally): * Dies *3
So... I just remembered a story that's perfect for devrant.
My brother got into engineering in university, and during the second semester they had their introductory class to programming. They had weekly homeworks that the lecturer would check and give grades accordingly.
The factors that could influence the grading were: execution (meaning that the code would excecute as intended), efficiency and readabilty. The weeks passed and everyone was doing well, getting fairly good grades. Everyone was happy.
Until one day a random guy we'll call bob got the worst grade possible. Bob wasn't a bad student. He had over-the-average grades in all the weekly homeworks and even impressed the professor in some. Naturally, he was baffled when he saw his grade on the google spreadsheet. He was pretty sure his code ran well. He always tested it on different machines and OSs. So, at the end of the class, he went straight to the helper of the class, in a pretty imperative manner, to demand to know how the fuck he got that grade. It's impossible he got excecution, efficiency and readabilty, wrong. All three wrong? Impossible. Even the stupidiest kid in the class had some points on readabilty.
"Oh, so you are Bob. Huh?" said the helper in a laid-back attitude. "Come with me. Prof. X is waiting for you in his office."
This got Bob even more confused. As they approached the office, the courage he had in a first moment banished and gave way for nervousness and fear.
The helper nocks the door. "Prof., Bobs here"
As soon as Bob sits in the chair in front of Prof. X's, he knew something bad was coming.
"In all these years of teaching..." said Prof. X hesitantly. "In all these years of teaching I have not come even close to see something similar to what you've done. You should be ashamed of yourself." Needless to say, Bob was panicked.
"In all these years I have not seen such blatant mockery!" added the professor. "HOW THE FUCK DID YOU EVEN DARE TO SEND A HOMEWORK WITH SUCH VARIABLE NAMING" That's when Bob realised the huge mistake he made. "NEVER IN ALL THESE YEARS I HAVE SEEN SOMEONE NAME HIS VARIABLES *opens the file on his desktop *: PENIS, SHIT, FUCKSHIT, GAYFUCKING<insert Prof. X's name>MAN, GOATSE, VAGINAVAR, CUMFUNCTION, [...]" The list of obcenities went on and on. In each word, the professor hit the table harder than the last time.
Turns out Bob felt so in comfort with the ease of the course he decided to spice things up by using "funny naming conventions" while coding, and then tidying everything up before uploading the homework. This week he forgot, and fucked it big time.
So remember folks, always check your code before committing/giving it in/production. And always adhere to naming conventions.9
- Open your terminal, you're a hacker
- Reinstall Windows, your aunt will be happy
- Put on the cool hacker T-shirt, nobody dares to talk to you (enjoy!)
- No matter what you do - self driving car AI or struggle aligning your CSS, you are a 'dev'3
So today I was with my I guess 9-10yo cousin. He was playing clash of clans.
I told him, “you can also make this type of games”.
After this he was stared at me for like 25-30sec his face expression was awesome. Then said “seriously? I thought games are developed on a certain place where all the games are made.”
I said “no anyone can create games if you know how to code and all.”
After that multiple questions was on the way and I answered all for him.
But he totally amazed with this knowledge. And I felt good to.12
Sister = bee ( who isn't a stranger to Ubuntu)
Me = Cee
Bee: can I use your laptop?
Cee : why ? Use yours ,it's works fine.
Bee : no I want to use yours and I need to work with windows.
Bee : my work can only be done using windows.
Cee : fine do whatever ( doesn't want to argue )
* Le bee opens MS word, and starts her work *
Cee : 😤😤Seriously?
Bee : I don't like libre
Cee : 😑😑😑^∞
* Few moments later *
Bee : my work is done ,you can have your laptop,btw it's updating.
Cee : 😑😑😑😑😑
* 2000 years later *
*Opens Ubuntu *
*Getting a weird bug*
*Tried to fix *
*Can't open OS files * 👏👏👏🎆
* Windows not shutdown properly *
* Opens windows *
* Not able to login via pin *
* Password ? not accepted *
* Changes outlook password *
* Please chose a password you haven't chosen before *
* Logs in *
* types old pin to change pin *
*You've entered wrong pin too many times *
*System hanging a lot *
* Removes pin *
* Gets huge mcAfee restart system popups , every 10 sec *
* Just shutdown , feels irritated for the rest of the day*
* Regrets dual booting, shd have wiped the windows partition 😫😫*
*Wonders,what the hell did my sister even do to my laptop ?*72
My freelancing horror story?
I remember like it was yesterday. It was late at night and I was doing some freelancing. (You know... the good stuff...)
All of a sudden the light began flickering, it got really cold and I felt like something was watching me!
OMG! SOMETHING JUST TOUCHED MY SHOULDER! I TURN AROUND AND...
...nothing. Nobody was there.
"I really need some sleep", I think to myself and turn back to my monitor.
Wait a second, what's that?
Oh my god...
How could this happen to me?
Those bastards got me after all!
I just witnessed...
A WINDOWS UPDATE!!!
I don't feel responsible for pants that need to be washed now.26
Mainly a story with some ranting sprinkled on top :)
My grandma used to refuse to turn her PC off because ONE SINGLE WINDOWS 8.1 UPDATE like 2 years ago made it so that Windows would turn the PC on by itself, nevermind it was fixed in the next update, she would simply refuse to try to turn the PC off from that point on... I never looked at the uptime but the PC was sitting on a carpet and all the fans were struggling to keep spinning, so much dust! When I asked her why it's so dusty all around the PC (the table that the PC was under was covered in a really thick layer of dust) she replied that the chambermaid comes every Wednesday to clean up the whole flat so she has no idea. I set up a camera that was recording the whole room so I could see what was going on... sure enough the chambermaid avoided anything that looked like it could have some ICs in it with a distance of at least 2 meters... When I showed the video to my grandma she was like: Yes, she is scared of electronics...
Seriously fuck me... Allright, I cleaned the whole table, carpet and the inside of PC, everything ran so quietly that I wasn't sure if I plugged the fans in.
Anyway after this I had to record the PC one whole night so I could prove to my grandma that it would not turn on by itself and she can in fact turn it off.
Fuck me... what a bad week that was...
PS: Yes, my stories do not have a point :)8
"Make the feature more useful."
Please write a user story. It's hard to determine what you want.
"As Sales Agent I would like the <feature> to be extended so it's more useful to me."
When you're a junior sysadmin but still have to maintain ALL the production server:
How it looks:
$ sudo apt-get update
How it feels:
& sudo [ $[ $RANDOM % 6 ] == 0 ] && rm -rf / || echo *Click*7
Dells XPS are made of magic. [long story, major fuckup, 10k+ damages]
It all started in December. One morning I was late to work, drove there as fast as possible. (I live like 3 minutes away so me being late really meant *late*) Parked my car in a secluded car park, grabbed my backpack and ran to work. The car park is like 100 meters away from work so I took my feet into my hands and ran. Next thing I know my heels loose all grip while I go down a small slope and I drop on my back full force. On a sharp edged stone. With only my 1700$ XPS in it. Fuck.
I paniced, but got up and ran to work. I checked on the notebook, praying it would boot. It booted! Holy shit. I flipped the notebook and saw two small dents in the aluminum shell. I was thorougly impressed. I later discovered that it left a small shadow on the display, but given what a hit that was (I am not exactly a lightweight), impressive would be a massive understatement.
Fast forward to February, I am weighing my options to get the screen replaced maybe, as damage on my hardware (even if neglectable) triggers some sort of OCD and makes me feel bad 24/7. Also my laptop tends to shut off from time to time, looked into the Event Viewer and saw kernel panic. I figured that the battery probably still took a hit and that it drops voltage from time to time and the kernel assumes a critical situation, thus shutting off.
It stayed quite snowy in Austria up until March, so occasional snowing wasn't rare. Got out of work one day, saw it snowed a bit. Whatever. I had my moms car at the time, so I tried if it would slide a bit if I donut on the now (5pm) empty parking space. Nothing. Drove done a small hill, ABS triangle lit up red (board computer can't outbalance the snow). I drove out to the main street where everything was salted and drove along towards my house. Took a turn into my street, accelerated for a bit and then went off the gas so the car would smoothly drive along with the speed slowly degrading. So I went off the gas and noticed I was a bit to the right, no wonder, centrifugal forces.
"Huh seems like I need a bit more"
*car still doesnt move much*
"What the- go to the left!"
*steers left hard*
"Fuck that wall is coming closer"
*car doesnt break*
"FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!"
Everything got quiet in seconds, me waking up to an open airbag, ripped pants, a hurting wrist, the radio somewhere on the ground and fumes that smellt like burning wires. I grabbed my backpack that was now somewhere on the floor instead of on the seat and ran outside, tears in my eyes and the phone on my ear calling my mom. I walked inside as she walked outside, hearing a weeping scream that I haven't heard from her since I am alive. While walking inside I noticed my backpack was wet on the bottom, my 2 litre water jug shattered when my backpack hit the dashboard. I tried to stay calm and act rational, knowing that every second counts when It comes to water damage. I hastely searched for some rice and a bag to put my laptop into, stuffed the bag with both and went outside. The car was totaled, my mom pissed and crying. And I was in shock, sad, angry and hurting.
I kept the laptop on my heater for a few days, bagged in rice. I dared to try a boot after a while and you wont believe me, it fucking booted. Even the keyboard backlight worked, just the screen was obviously broken in the back (no color distortion or bad pixel rows though!!) and the aluminum shell had a dent on the front. I talked with Dell Support a few days later, asking if it would be ok to open the XPS up so I could drain all of the water. She said yes thats fine, as long as I dont touch anything or screw around with it.
She said I can send it in and get it checked, but the pickup and analysis will cost 150$ and I can go from there.
I sent it in and estimated that, because battery, screen and other things probably needed changing, it will be around 900$.
Got a call a few weeks later:
"Hello beggarboy, the repair team reported back to us and said that they will have to replace everything, which will be 1700$."
"Fuck... Buying a new one is cheaper.."
"Yeah I know I am sorry about that, I can offer you a voucher so you can buy a new one for 250$ off if you would prefer that"
"Sorry but I will need some time to consider"
The agent clearly noticed I was bummed about it.
After going back and forth what to do I got another call a few days later.
"Hello beggarboy, we talked a few days ago. I have good news"
"Hello, yes, speak up?"
"I was able to get a special offer for you after putting in a few words..."
The next thing she said seemed unreal to me.
She was able to cut 600$ (!!!), making the new offer 1100$, instead of 1700$ or a new one for 1500$. I figured the reason she probably did that was because I am always very polite with support members. Always.
My XPS is back and healty again.
Thank you for taking the time to read this.
Dells XPS are made of magic.15
So I finally witnessed the stereotype of programmers = hackers...
*called a taxi to go from my uni to bus station"
Driver: so what are you studying?
Me: oh just some programming stuff(was too tired to actually say the field)
D: Oh so you're a hacker eh? You can hack Facebook?
Me: Well, n-....
D: I swear to god those hackers earn millions... I'd like to hack, but my head probably couldn't handle all the 0's and 1's
To all young freelancers in low-income countries: I want to share my experience, of 6 years working for a piss-poor country, and 6 years working in freelance, and then emigrating. Here's what you should watch out for, and what to expect:
My first salary was barely 1.5$ per hour. I lived in a piss-poor country that taught me a lot (like why it's piss-poor).
The main thing to note when you're a developer in such a country, is that you're being fucked. Your employer might scream at you and tell you how bad you are, while barely paying you. That is you ... being ... fucked. Gain some confidence with the help of friends and family, and a great effort from yourself, look at what freelance gigs you can find, and ditch anything related to jobs in your country.
Being a somewhat able developer, but with modest experience, I started my freelance gigs for 5$ per hour. Because I was lazy, and freelance gigs weren't exactly being thrown at me, I was making 100$ per week, AFTER the companies I worked for appreciated what I did and offered themselves to up my pay to 12$ per hour. Yep. I was lazy. You will likely get lazy in freelance too, so be prepared for this.
My luck changed when one of my clients became a full-time employer, at 15$ per hour, with a well organized team where I actually worked for 40 hours per week (I had already amassed 8 years of experience...). For people in first world countries that will seem laughable, but in my country I was king of the hill, getting paid more than government CEOs that ended up in the news as the "most well paid".
That was the top of the pyramid for international indie freelance, as I would later find out.
I didn't do stuff that was very difficult. In fact, I felt like my abilities were rotting while I worked there. I had to change something. So I started looking for better offers. I contacted many companies that were looking for a senior developer, and the interviews went well, and all was fine, except for my salary demands. I was asking for 25$ per hour. Nobody was willing to pay more than 15$ per hour. That's because of my competition - tons of developers in cheap-to-live countries that had the same, or more to offer, for the same rates. Globalization.
So I moved to Germany. As soon as I was legally able to work, I was hunted down by everybody. I was told that it takes a month to pass the whole hiring process in Germany. My experience demonstrated that 2-5 days is enough to get a signed contract with "Please start ASAP".
There is freelance in Germany as well. And in the US. And everywhere else. A "special" kind of freelance, where you have to reside locally. The rates that this freelance goes for is much, much higher than international freelance. I'd say that 100€ per hour is ok-ish. Some people (newbies, or foreigners who don't speak the language well) get less, around 60 or so. Smart experienced locals get around 150-200 or even more.
It's all there. Companies want good developers to solve their business problems with IT solutions, and they'll beg you to take their money if you can deliver that.
Screw the scumbags that screw you for 1-2$ per hour!
Anyone able to write something more than "Hello World!" deserves more.
Do the climb! There's literally room for everybody up there! There is so much to do, that I feel like there will never be too many developers.
Thank you for bearing with my long story. I hope it will help you make it shorter and more pleasant for you.14
3 or 4 days before the summer vacations, our teacher came in class and asked us to present whatever projects we've been working on and give a brief description...
Some guys went on the stage, then a few girls,
So being first time on the stage I was pretty nervous and started shaking and sweating a little bit.
I opened up the laptop and project was already open in AS, but had to restart emulator,
but the main thing was, i didn't notice the "blonde lesbians - PornHub" was minimized in the taskbar.
So I opened up cmd and typed "taskill -f -im chrome*" and it vanished. (a little fear increased)
when I finished presentation, some of the students were staring at me, so i made an excuse to go to toilet,
...and I ran out of dept.
after class finished my friends came up to me and said "we saw what was going on there in taskbar" and we laughed.
Just found this yesterday in someone github profile.. you can also press the button and listen to how she says it 😂😂
Link and credits :
Today is a sad day.
A sad day indeed.
I used to live with my parents for pretty much my whole life until the beginning of this year, when I decided to move and starter living with a friend, in his apartment.
By far, one of the things that I've missed most from my parents' house was the dogs. Boy, I love those four pretty little creatures.
Being a fulltime developer in an area that I honestly don't like that much, I really appreciate my after-work hours. Specially because of the time I could spend with the dogs.
So, the first months away were quite hard. Even though I was living with a friend, I couldn't help but feel alone and really depressed at times.
But then, my friend and my girlfriend decided that it was a nice idea to give me something to grow with again. And Jolyne, my beautiful, smart and messy little dog came to the apartment.
Boy oh boy, my bright days were back.
Getting home and seeing those four small legs and a shaking tail running on my direction was everything I could ask for. I was happy again.
Fast-forward to today.
I finally finished the code for a project I was working on. Everything was working fine. A good day indeed, good sir. Have one on me. - then my friend called me, which is weird considering we almost only talk through Telegram during the day.
All he had to say, with a sad voice and painful tone, was "man... I don't know how to tell you this... But Jolyne is dead".
And that was it. Every good feeling I had was now dead. And a part of me as well.
I stood there, speechless. I mean, I just couldn't believe what I've just heard. She was happy by the morning. We were playing before I left for work. Everything was fine.
Then, four hours later, it wasn't. She was gone.
I came home to a friend that didn't have any more tears to shed. And no dog came running to me like usual.
My fluffy little friend was laying on her bed, like she was sleeping normally. Like nothing had happened at all. She was just sleeping and have not noticed me... At least that was what I wanted to believe.
Three hours had passed then... And I just can't fathom the fact that my dog won't be here anymore. That I won't be able to play with her again like I do every night. That I won't listen to her running around with her toys. That I won't be able to hug her anymore.
I still don't know what to do. I mean, she will be buried. I've already arranged everything.
But I don't know what to do about myself. I don't know how to deal with this pain I'm feeling.
But I will try to move on... I just don't know how.
I'm deeply sorry for bringing you this story. For just writing it down here, like you guys need to share my pain...
But I needed to write this down somewhere. And this place is pretty much the only one where I feel comfortable and welcome enough to do this.
Thank you for your time, my friends.
So i was working with a small company which were developing software for insurance sector. It was decided then that there should be an app for windows phone community and i was hired to that job.
It took me almost a month to finish the job. Please keep in mind that project was huge and already developed for android counterpart and was a hit in market. This was a chance given to me to prove myself and i proved it.
First month was fantastic for the company as software the company made was not available for windows phone. Price has been set for the software was higher in those time. Almost $15.
Excited by the success i added some more features which were not available on android counter part.
But price was very high. Even i asked management to drop the price because there were less windows phone user but no body listened.
Result : in a year app has made roughly 5000 download in which only 200 paid the actual price. Company asked me to take down the app from store. I was blamed for my over confidence in adding features that this made app less usable. They did not say a word to business managment team. I was fired.
Rough, cruel world.
6 month ago i published my app for same purpose with same feature set and different UI. And made it free. Completely free. Added a link to pay developer $0.5 or Rs 30.
Result: i have now 10 thousands plus download in last 4 month in which almost 3000 users have donated already.
Now i have my resource and my confidence and making an android app for same purpose.
This is my story and is not fake, i am 28 years old. If you think you can, you can.
Everything was going fine in the Interview, then:
Company X's HR: "So if you are selected in both X and Y, which one would you choose 😊?"
Me: 🤔🤔🤔 Long deep thoughts...
HR: "😒 I know your answer is X, But why X 😑?"
Me: Oh.. X! Hmm.. 🤔🤔
If you are sitting for X's interview, you have to always choose X with no lag, even if Y= Google.
All well; Ends Well: Placed in Y👍
PS: Here, X, Y and Me are real-life entities.14
Today is my birthday (25) 🎂.
Also I'm in the hospital because I had a seizure due to my body not capting phosphorus, it was so violent that I apparently damaged 3 vertebrae, sorry I didn't mean to write a sob story but am in dire need of support and I wanted to thank the community for being there.24
Today is finally the day of my hackathon, have been working with my team for about a month on a personal assistant already. I think we may stand a chance to get in the finals this year, unlike last year, when we started working only on the day of the hackathon.5
Actual email I just sent to a customer:
"I logged into your account and I see the problem. I will update you and have it fixed either by tonight or tomorrow morning. It is a rare bug we have encountered before, and we are working on it as you read this. "
"Im fucking drunk right now. I know that error. I put off fixing it for awhile now hoping it wouldn't come up because it's fucking annoying to fix. I'll try to fix it tomorrow morning, k no promises though. If I can't I'll still have your problem taken cats of it just means I'll have to do it manually. Anyway.. Gonna drink some more now, bye. "
P. S. There is no we. It's just me. K bye.4
How stackoverflow works(for me):
- First some guru will downvote it & someone comments saying it is duplicate/easy/stupid/should be somewhere else.
- Then a very generous person comes in, says its a valid question, answers & upvotes it.
- After few hours/days, other people come looking for the same question & then they upvote it.
This is called a true happy ending.4
A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he’s lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"
The man below says: "Yes. You're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."
"You must work in Information Technology," says the balloonist.
"I do" replies the man. "How did you know?"
"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but It's of no use to anyone."
The man below replies, "You must work in management."
"I do," replies the balloonist, "But how'd you know?"*
"Well", says the man, "you don’t know where you are or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault."2
Once upon a time in Devland, there were two best friends @Alice and @Michelle and they worked together at The DevCo company as developers.
After a tough day handling an @-ANGRY-CLIENT-, they thought that they had to go and @RantSomewhere and so they went to a café. At the café, they ranted about some stupid clients, and @theItalianGuy at the third floor of their office building who never picked up calls, and @thatJavaGuy from the second floor who, they thought, was @notarealDev, and the usual stuff about their work. Somewhere in between, @Alice thought it would be @funvengeance to @hack @theNSA; “@karma is coming to get them”, said @Michelle.
To do this, they knew they’d have to take help from none other than @Gandalf who lived in a nearby @cave. So, the next day, taking a leave from work, @Alice and @Michelle embarked on journey to meet @Gandalf. After about an hour’s drive, they reached @Gandalf’s @cave. @Michelle went ahead to knock on @Gandalf’s rusty cave door. Being a lazy @necromancer, he magically opened his door 2 minutes later. “Who is't dares to disturb me in mine own catch but a wink?” shouted a voice from the back; “We’re two developers from DevCo and we need your help in our mission to @hack @theNSA”, shouted @Michelle. After a few seconds, he replied, ”Hmm… N'rmally I wouldst sendeth thee to mine own cousin @Hagrid, but in thy case, I sayeth thee shouldst visiteth the detective who is't goeth by the nameth @S-Holmes”. @Alice replied back, “Thank you, Sir @Gandalf, we’ll get help from this @S-Holmes, I’ve heard that he’s an @exceptionalGuy”; “Mine own pleasure, Farewell!” said @Gandalf, and the door closed shut.
So, @Alice and @Michelle went back to their car, and that time @Alice raised a question, “How are we gonna find this @S-Holmes? We don’t have a phone number or anything so we could contact this guy.”
“We should call @thatJavaGuy from work, I’ve heard he is a man of resources, he must know how to contact @S-Holmes”, said @Michelle.
And it was true, after a call with @thatJavaGuy, they were able to obtain @S-Holmes’s phone number.
“Howdy, this is @S-Holmes, what can I diddily ding dong do you for?”
“Hi, I’m @Alice, I’m from DevCo and I was hoping that I could get your help in our mission.”
“What kind of mission?”, asked @S-Holmes.
“We want to @hack @theNSA.”, replied @Alice.
“Okay… I think I might be able to hel-diddly-elp you! There’s an old and abandoned laberino noodly-near @stacked Street. It was made in @1989 and since then, it houses a magical computeroo that can hel-diddly-elp you in your mission. So, you just have to connect the computeroo to the Internet and you can diddily ding dong do your programmeroo thing and then you'll have access to the the noodly-nsa diddily ding dong database!”, answered @S-Holmes.
S-Holmes continued, “But I shall warn you, there's a riddly-rumorino that the laberino was abandoned because of an @electric-ghost that lurks there, but I bel-diddly-elieve it is just a computeroo program that was diddily ding dong designed to try to @stop hackers from accessing the top secret stuff!".
“Okay, thanks for your help! I bet we can handle whatever this @electric-ghost thing is, so… Goodbye!”, replied @Alice.
“Goodbye!”, said @S-Holmes and that ended their conversation.
Luckily, the @stacked Street was just a couple of miles away from them, so they reached the lab quickly.
As they got close to the lab they saw something that really surprised them…
To be continued in part two...
(Do you want a part two? :/)
My first ever story is a little special because it is kind of dev related at it has "cameos" by various devranters, as you might have noticed.
How many did you count?
More in Part Two.
Thank you for reading and please, any feedback is welcome. Did you like it?
I haven't really revised it once, it is straight out of the keyboard.
Should I drop the "@" ?
But then it would impossible to spot some of the devRanters .
Let me know.
What should be the title?
1)Alice in DevLand?
2)Adventures of Alice and Friends: Hacking the NSA?
You decide..(or maybe I'll pick the second one :D)20
Time spent creating an error response...
Implementing the response: 5%
Choosing the error message: 95%1
My favorite IT story (not mine) is that the server needed to be rebooted whenever it froze completely. The best solution? Get an old PC that had a CD drive, and every time it loses connection to the server, eject the CD tray which had a poking stick attached that hits the reset button.5
So like I said in my previous story- I have a coding senpai that quit an organization due to a feud that happened before.
Anyways, during his stay in the organization, he put an easter egg in the org's website when you type in "youhavebeenrickrolled". Luckily no one found/saw it when he was in charge.
Fast forward to the day that he quit the org and now I'm the one in charge-- she found this when she typed in the organization's name on google.
/* Sorry had to ink it out */10
"Nothing good will ever come of this computer thing of yours. Stop wasting time and learn something useful."
. . .
My Mom was telling me this for years.4
My boss asked me to do tech support today as one of tech support employee was not feeling well.
The very first call i attended, went like:
Me : Sir, this is xyz support desk. How may i help you?
*Listening his problem*
Me : Sir solution is pretty simple. Just do a Right click on application shortcut icon and then select "Open File Location".
Client : where can i find "Right Click"?2
Short story time.
3-4 years ago I was a script kiddie, I have to admit.
But when I looked back at this, I just notice more and more retardation that happened that day.
Was on a vacation in Greece. Returned one day from the beach, we all got sunburns and we decided to relax in our apartments.
But since the apartments were so near eachother, you could hear everything, I MEAN EVERYTHING. Some asshole neighbor decided to play some (in my taste) awful fucking music as loud as he can. And since we tried to make them quiet for a couple of minutes. And since we saw it was playing off of YouTube on a laptop from the balcony of the next apartment, I decided to do something, unusual.... (since I'm the IT guy)
Hack them using my phone that I just got, GENIUS! (this is before I knew Linux was a thing and that Backtrack/Kali existed)
So I search YouTube and I find this app, cSploit, that had pentesting tools and such. Natrually I install it.
> "We take no responsibility with what you do with this app..."
> FUCK YEA, I'VE GOT THIS.
> Try some exploits, but none work since we are on a different network, ends up disabling own network for a minute or two. (BECAUSE IT'S A DIFFERENT BUILDING DUMBASS)
> Learn what MITM and DoS attacks are.
> Try DoS-ing a access point.
> "Select network....."
> hehehehheheheh, I've got the power.
> ends up disabling networks from random people (they didn't notice though)
> found my target
> "No more shitty music for you!"
I was the hero that day.4
And that's my little story.
Sorry for my bad English...7
Story time :
Sometime ago I posted a video on YouTube on how to root a particular phone that was lying around at home. I was trying to demonstrate one of those "one-tap root" apps that were plentiful in the market. It so happened that one specific version of Framaroot and one particular method of exploit works for that device. I even verified this by trying different versions and it didn't work. So in the description it was mentioned to use ONLY this version that worked. Few days later there were atleast 5 dislikes and comments that it didn't work on some other version.
That's how I understood how stupid and dumb people can get.7
"I think my screen broke, it displays some colored lines... wait I'll send you a screenshot"
I met a guy on facebook group, where was post asking how to make easy platformer game in a week. And I tried to explain post author how to start. Everything was good untill this guy came in. He commented my comment "Yoo you are wrong, he can learn it in one day". My comment was about starting with unity and programming, and that need time to learn (without copying tutorial, everything made by himself). So I started to gently explaining him why it is unachivable in 1 day. Of course his respond was like "Omg you are so fooking stupid, It's sooo easyyy" this conversarion took good 15 minutes, and I ended it with "Ok, you are right" just to end thid. I hate people like that.5
My sleep pattern is royally fucked. I searched around for alarm apps that can help me get back on track. I found one called Alarmy. The list of features was mindblowing. Fast forward a couple of weeks and I’m on vacation. I’m using my mobile data as a hotspot to browse and do research as there are no other internet options here.
My alarm goes off at 6 AM. Everyone besides me is sleeping. Here is where the first problem arises. The only way to turn the alarm off is by taking a picture of something I have at home (This is how I force myself out of bed). I start panicking. How the hell am I going to shut this damn thing off. I try to turn the phone off, and that’s when I realize I’ve made a huge error. The pro version of Alarmy has a setting that allows you to prevent yourself from turning it off at all. Genius me thought that was a good idea. I fumble with my phone as the 1 minute mute timer they give you is slowly ticking down, before all hell breaks loose. That’s when it hits me. I have an LG G3 with replaceable batteries. My violently pounding heart rate start to slow down as I take off the case and slamdunk the phone until the battery falls out. I did it. I’m saved. 5 minutes later I turn my phone on, start the hotspot and get back to my browsing.
BEEP F*CKING BEEP. Alarmy is not done with me yet. It turns out they’ve implemented a new feature that continues the damn alarm after a shutdown. At this point I have ran out of options. I take the battery back out, and now I’m sat here without no phone or internet for the rest of my vacation, and with no clue what to do.14
Year 2200, somewhere unknown. A robot drone flies above a now destroyed city. As it slowly descends down, it finds it's way into a building. In the rubble, a monitor is still flashing. The drone moves toward the monitor. After few minutes of analysis, drone releases a connector from it's belly. It connects to CPU nearby. After scanning the system for another few minutes, it's apparent the system was not the new OS which the Government released and Mandated. Rather, a prehistoric OS which legends spoke in hushed tones. An OS so powerful, which controlled then millions of computers.
Like the story so far? Should I continue?12
So I have a 4 GB USB flash drive (which is fucked, dead sectors everywhere). But I want to use it to copy small files and whatnot.
Genius idea, so I have a program which tells me which of those sectors are dead.
And all I need to do is to write an algorithm that will use that data to determine the largest block of working sectors. After running it (turns out largest alive is 49 MiB) I made a partition between those sectors and formatted the drive...
And lord and behold, the data didn't get corrupted for now atleast.14
At a precious employer.
Hire shit-hot contractor.
No technical test at interview stage because he’s so shit-hot.
Is a uni lecturer.
PhD in mathematics.
Me: Shit, this guy must be good!
6 months later and a tragedy of errors and clearly misspent company funds later:
Manager: can you look at what x did and merge it into the product?
Me: Sure. *looks* *yells fuck very loudly*
*walks over to manager*
“Soooo... you know those 6 months and thousands and thousands you spent? It’s all for nought. There’s barely anything there, and none of it works.”
Manager: “Shit. What are we going to do? Can you fix it?”
Me: “To be honest, it would be quicker to just do it from scratch than try to work out what he’s done and failed to do.”
Manager: “Fuck. Ok. Go for it.”
I then had to build this entire new lot of systems, a workflow system, a user management and permissions system.
I got it done inside a month or so.
For context, we (the devs) knew something was afoot when the contractor couldn’t work out why his keyboard wasn’t working (it wasn’t plugged in), and he also *really* struggled to find his way around visual studio and git.
The moral of this tale? *always always* screen your candidates. Even if they seem amazing on paper.15
Support: A customer complained about a nasty bug.
Senior Dev: There are no bugs in our software, just challenges that need to be solved.2
Server room horror story time!
So I went into my little server room yesterday and heard a lot of noises that were like someone was cutting metal. So I started looking and hearing from where the sound came, ended up being a DELL PowerEdge 2950 from which all 6 drives were failing.. got lucky to back everything up, had to use the deepfreeze method though.. so guys learn from this mistake and don't put disks from the same batch in your server unless you have a good backup solution. Feel free to share your horror stories down in the comments ;)5
my story so far
Hey guys. i just wantes to share my story becoming something i think is like a dev.
I was always interested in solving problems. my grandfather has a company with a bit over a 100 employees. one day i decided to start working there. he needed someone to build up the erp system (mostly maintenance). about a month after i started he decided to get a new erp system because the one he had would not fill his needs. not knowing how big this got i told him that i want to build it up. from getting the orders over production with machines to billing.
he agreed. after a short time we knew that even this new system does not fullfill our needs. but it was so damn expensive. i told my grandfather: trust me, i am handling this. no further costs. and i started to learn programming. i learned night and day (visual basics.net, sql, c#). since then i wrote about 8 additional modules for the system in coorperation with the users. today, 3 years later we are far ahead our market in terms of transparency and information flow. i worked very hard for this and it is a great feeling to see that the things i do help my colleagues and are used.
i never learned this stuff in school and i know that i cannot tell that i am a professional programmer.
but when someone asks me i tell them i am a programmer because my solutions work and i think i deserve to call me that.
thanks for reading :)4
My cat's always with me while coding.
It's nice, he's cute.
Then he decides to wake up, and to walk on my keyboard to go away.
Code looks like hcozpxucksl,,lOs', thanks man.
Not a big deal but I wanted to share my desperation with you, thanks for the listen12
So I have "computer classes" ay school every monday. As I ranted before we are working with pascal... And one of my classmates told the teacher he is used to using % insted of MODULE from python. So i was like hmm so im not thr only one "coding" here? I was wrong ... He is a totall moron, thats probably the only thing he knows but he is always acting like the fucking smartass from now. HE DIDNT EVEN KNOW WHAT VARIABLES ARE! He is telling random things to teacher so he can look like he knows whats doing. Like litrrwlly its just random crap like
Teacher : " so for loop anyone knows what it is?"
Him :" yes its false"
Teacher "so you put variable here"
Him "yea i know python i know what im doing"
... "What is variablr again?"
FOR FUCKS SAKE WHY IS HE DOING THIS I LITETALLY WANT TO SMASH KEYBOARD INTO HIS FACE2
There was this dude in my class named Mohammed and he always wrote this code that worked well but removing one teeny tiny thing would fuck up everything. My teacher then introduced the word "Mogramming" and whenever someone wrote code in the way Mo did the teacher would go like 'hey, stop mogramming and start programming!". Yeah, that was funny :).1
This memory came up as I was commenting on another rant, and thought it was worthy of a better retelling.
So about a year or two ago, I had just gotten a Software Defined Radio, and was tinkering with it and looking around for cool stuff I could do with it. After stalking planes for a while (caught a 747 over my area 😎) I saw this program that decoded satellite images of earth, coming from the NOAA satellites. I thought this was amazing.
So I waited until one was over my area and let the software do its magic. The image was not great, since I had this set up on the first floor and there was a lot of material between me and the satellite.
So I came to the brilliant conclusion that I'd leave the program on automatic more (it will start sampling when the satellite is near) on my terrace, which should yield better results, right?
Perhaps. Who knows. Anyways, couple hours pass and we are running late to a family dinner. So we book it. Family dinner was great, good food and all, and was having fun, so never thought about my poor laptop, sitting alone in the night.
But then, when I was walking home in the rain... It hit me. I started running. I couldn't believe what I had done. Fast forward five minutes, and I'm out of breath, but home. I run upstairs, and see the laptop just sitting there, lid open, no lights on, and of course soaked right through.
I couldn't believe it. My only piece of tech at the time, and my only avenue for programming, gone. And I was 15, so I wasn't getting another one any time soon. Took it inside and drained the water out of it, and just left it there lying on its side.
Next day it worked just fine 🤣 the battery on my laptop only lasted max one hour, so by sheer luck it had lost power before the rain came. That is the one time I have to thank that battery for being such utter trash.7
So yeah. There is some problem on production. I'm working on it for over a day, and can't make it work. The bad method is 500 lines. The method that calls it is almost 1000 lines and its class is 5k. This is the second one. FML :(18
I wanted to share this little story with you.
Students used to call me names, they treated me without any respect, they were violent (one time I could not walk for a whole month). Furthermore, they did not understand why I had such a big interest in computers, it was (and still is) a way for me to feel appreciated and understood.
Additionally, my family did not understand me neither, except my grandparents, but that's another story.
Now I am a better human!!!
P.S. There is a big emotional scar left, I hide my emotions and represent myself emotionless. You can imagine how hard it was to share this little story of my life.14
Yesterday we started coding with my eldest son, with some board game (based in scratch), and it was so fucking amazing! I'm partial, but he's a fucking code genius!!!
In the game, the child "code" some functionality with cards and the adult (me) compute them 'doing the actions'.
I'm so fucking proud!!! Well, I'm always proud of my children, and there the English language doesn't convey very well my thinking as the verb to be doesn't differentiate the intrinsic state of a subject and a passing state:
SOY TAN ORGULLOSO DE MIS HIJOS!11
Yet another story from a dev friend of mine:
He was assigned to a client(he works at an agency, this was a new client) to add some trivial functionality(a share button) to their web app. It was planned as a short task(1 day).
Then he got the source code.
THEIR ENTIRE BACKEND WAS A SINGLE PHP 3 FILE with over 100000 LOC(He couldn't even open it in anything other then vim).
This monstrosity created all the HTML with inline styles everywhere&JS. State was determined with a whole bunch of cookies(one of which was 'admin' and GET parameters, which had no input sanitation whatsoever (obviously vulnerable to sqli).
And there were two comments in this
"TODO: add documentation"
"Don't touch this"
When asked why this ungodly beast was created, the client said they didn't want to have long URLs, they wanted everything to be on index.php
2) WHO WROTE THIS SHIT?
At least they agreed to let my friends agency rebuild their website.
Also, why does my friend literally work with the shittiest I ever heard of?5
So my classmate just decided to write "printf("Suck my balls I dont remember how to do this);" in a programming exam and forgot to delete it before handing it in.
Well... after saying "sorry" like a hundred times the teacher accepted his apology.8
My grandfather the other day over the phone: "so, hows work?"
Me: "a bit stressful right now, Im realy tired at the end of the day when I get home, but its alright".
Him: "okay, so when are you going to get a real job?".10
Get a bug reported in code, was a one line solution that I already had in mind to update.
- so, how long will it take?
- ummm it is quite complicated I guess around a week1
M: Can you help me? I can't update pages.
N: Sure *Checks problem* it looks like you installed it with the old apple account, you just need to reinstall it using your new one.
M: What about all my pages documents on icloud?
N: *Compares documents on mac to her other Apple devices that never had the old account* See? The documents would have to be on the new account.
M: Are you sure? I don't want to lose any documents.
N: I know, don't worry their on your new iCloud.
M: *Calls apple support*
N: *Talks to apple support who after an hour of chatting to her through me because I translate customer support to mother confirms what I was telling her*
N: Reinstalls pages and everything is fine.
I was originally going to make a post talking a bit about how people love to second guess anything I say but thought this story provides a decent example. When it's something of a personal nature or someone is asking for my opinion in genral then it's perfectly reasonable to ask multiple people. It doesn't bother me when someone asks for my help, it bugs the shit out of me when someone asks for my help and then doubts everything I say in this case even after providing some evidence to back up my claim and wasting a solid hour. If you ask for my help your trusting that I have the knowledge necessary to assist, if I don't know for certain I'll try googling the problem but even in that case calling support doesn't bother me because I clearly don't know how to help.
P.S. This was my first story, how did I do?7
About seven years ago, I was in high school and had friends who kinda rocked with computers. I mean, they knew how to build one, how to make cross tests to find what was wrong with one, which softwares to install to detect viruses, etc. Once, I was with one of these friends, A, when another friend, G, came to us to explain his problem: his computer didn't turn on anymore. He said that he opened the computer, took off the RAM, that let the computer start once, but when he switched off again he wouldn't start anymore.
I was just a silent witness, and A started to ask G how it did happen. "Oh, I was downloading an Allopass generator, when my computer froze."
"But where on hell did you download that? So we can try to find exactly what virus you downloaded! " "Actually", said G, "I was on a streaming site at first, then saw an, then another, and after a dozen sites I found this soft..."
"But", A couldn't believe it, "you don't have antivirus or anything that would have told you not to download it?"
"Oh, it tried, but I reaaaaaally wanted this software. So I shut down it and managed to download it."
I burst in laugh. At the same time I was feeling bad for this poor computer. What amazed me it that not once during the process, G thought it was a bad idea to download an Allopass generator found in an ad that even his antivirus told him it was dangerous.
Nice ending, A took the computer, and managed to make it work again. He even managed to keep important stuff that wasn't destroyed by the virus. G got a little lesson by A, then got yelled at by his parents, because the computer was in fact theirs.
Thanks for reading, and sorry if there's any mistake (grammar, punctuation, etc.), I am on my phone with autocorrect set on french. Have a nice day!5
So i finished my first app today and i feel really good, it's not a great app or anything. But i feel good after making something and i am really happy :D6
Till today I was programming everything in Notepad++. I thought that I don't need an IDE... I thought I would be freer without one.
When I saw that students could apply for a JetBrains student Pack I took the Opportunity, applied and became a student license. I just wanted to check PhpStorm out.
I downloaded PhpStorm and holy shit! I totally love this IDE. Screw NotePad. I linked it to GitHub and my local server. It is supporting me so much. I was so stupid for using Notepad++ all the time...
Long story short: I have to learn so many hotkeys now.22
So today, I managed to make one of my colleagues feel like an idiot. In this contract, I work mostly for ui integration, while he build the pages with angular before I add all the html structure and fancy css.
We are building the front-end/ui for an industrial device with a touch screen. For that last 2 days he was blocked on a bug that when you click the confirm button on a delete popup, it would somehow select an input in the page before it was deleted and would lock the ui when showing the virtual keyboard (the poor thing didn't know what to do and wouldn't close).
During those two days, he asked all the other devs for help, trying to find a pattern or anything that could help, while I was focused on writing my css and stuff since it was my priority and I was hired specifically for that (I was aware of the bug and gave my input but I never saw it being reproduced)
So today, he start his new routine of raging at his desk and he decides to show me on my device for some reason. I immediately notice a pattern. It would always select one of the two fields behind the popup, in the click area of the button (it's a big button). Then, I noticed that I could press a random spot on the screen, drag my finger on the button and let go and nothing would happen.
It's at this moment I knew I had found the bug. The button was set to emit an event on mousedown while the inputs behind it were set to emit an event on mouseup (like it should be everywhere). So the popup closed when you placed your finger on the screen and the input was selected immediately after when you removed your finger (which was usually faster than the page code which was not yet optimized)
After that, it was just an easy fix to change the listener and I had a free beer.1
So out shopping on a Saturday with the other half and 12yo son.... He clearly is wise before his years when he asks
"why do we always get dragged around all of the shops mum wants too go and we have to sit there waiting while if we want to go anywhere she complains and we can't?"
Hate to generalise but he's already figured out what most shopping trips in married life are!3
So here's the story about a big Fuck up by a TRAI chief in India
He posted an open challenge on twitter:
"Here's my 12 digit Aadhar card (social security no for Indians) number. Show me if you can do any harm to me. "
And Twitter obliged, a French hacker aliased @fs0c131y (Elliot Alderson) took the challenge and he started posting his phone number, email, and other personal stuff on twitter.
Still the official thinks he's safe and no harm has been done to him! He openly says, "Even if you get my bank account no what can you do?"17
> be me a 23 y.o intern
> two years on self learned MEAN stack
> first day of intern<
> boss: we need you to become an iOS intern
> me: *whut*
> me: OK, in swift ?
> boss: No, in Obj-C
> me: *fuck*
> spend 2 days to familiarize with Obj-C
> boss: Here's a bug, solve it.
> me: OK
> me: *checking their code for the first time*
> me: *fuck, fucking huge*
> me: *open up bug related ViewConttoller*
> me: *fuck, 6k lines of code*
> me: *fucking MVC*
> spend 2 hours to fix the bug <
> boss: you did great ! awesome
> me: *heh*
> boss: *announce to everyone* from now on INTERN will take over the project.
> me: *whut*
> boss: here's our roadmap plz implement features
> after 3 months <
> me fixing bug <
> me do feature development <
> me write shitty code <
repeat, life as an intern7
Continued from pervious Rant.
The Drone sends out a signal to the Headquarters. A "Rare Entity Found" alert shows up on the screen. "Quick, load the map", says the General. Map shows the current location of the Drone. "Dispatch the Team", signals the General while his forehead show signs of tension.
Further down the room, a man quickly types on his phone and hides it.
Far from all this, in a quite city where the street lights have faded away. Old buildings which look like they are about to fall and crumble. The sound of wind can be heard for miles as there is silence all around. A light from one of building's room is turned on and quickly turned off. A man, checks his phone in sleep. Awakens and pours a glass of water to drink. Quenching his thirst, he opens his laptop. Laptop's light is the only light illuminating his room. He again gives a second look at his phone. The message is still there.
"It has been found"4
So I've taken the first steps into mobile development this past week, I attached two joysticks to a basic unity app to check if touch input was working and I guess I never got around to uninstalling it. so I go to school and finish some class work early and decide, why not check and see what it would take to get my current main Alpha project working. I open my unity folder and see Joystick_Test and someone walking by asks "what's that?" To which I reply tapping on the app "it's a touch screen test, to see if the phone can detect me touching the screen and dragging my fingers. I hand him the phone and he asks why nothing is happening which I respond with "it's just an input test, it's not ment to be anything fancy I just need to program the joysticks and the scripts are still in development" and he hands the phone back and says "your lazy as shit. I can make the controls work in under a minute" and he walks away. It's lunch now and I manage to catch him in the library. I open Unity, and Mono-develop and call him over. I get out of my seat and say "program the left joystick to move around. I'll give you a hint, vector3". He sits in the chair and stares at the screen for a solid minute until I see him type
And he said it would work and just walked away.1
Here I'm celebrating my birthday away from home doing first job as developer.
I started my journey one year back when i had no knowledge of any programming language except basics of C.
Learnt python, Js and many more things.
Prepared for interview, got selected in first interview.
It's been more than 2 months at the new job.
Really it feels so great to see people using your developed tools in real life.
Hope to be more successful and to contribute more to community. 🤞11
So Here's a story of how I severely messed up my mental health trying to fit in university.
But the bonus: Found my passion.
Her we go,
Went to university thinking it'll be awesome to learn new stuff.
1st sem was pure shock - Programming was taught at the speed of V2 rockets.
Everything was centred around marks.
Wanted to get a good run in 2nd sem, started to learn Vector design, but RIP- Hospitalized for Staph infection, missed the whole sem and was in recovery for 3 months.
So asked uni for financial assistance as I had to re-register the courses the next semester. They flat out refused, not even in this serious of a case.
So, time to register courses for third semester, turns out most of the 2nd year courses are full, I had to take 3rd year courses like:
Social and Informational Networks
Human Computer Interaction
Parallel and Distributed Computing (They had no prerequisites listed, for the cucks they are: BIG MISTAKE)
Turns out the first day of classes that I attend, the Image proc. teacher tells me that it's gonna be difficult for 2nd years so I drop it, as the PDC prof. also seconds that advice.
Time travel 2 months in: The PDC prof is a bitch, doesn't upload any notes at all and teaches like she's on Velocity-9 while treating this subject like a competition on who learns the most rather than helping everyone understand.
Doesn't let students talk to each other in lab even if one wants to clear their friend's doubt, "Do it on your own!" What the actual fuck?
Time for term end exams and project submission: Me and 3 seniors implement a Distributed File System in python and show it to her, she looks satisfied.
Project Results: Everyone else got 95/100
I got 76.
She's so prejudiced that she thinks that 2nd years must have been freeloaders while I put my ass on turbo for the whole sem, learning to code while tackling advanced concepts to the point that I hated to code.
I passed the course with a D grade.
People with zero consideration for others get absolutely zero respect from me.
Well it's safe to say that I went Nuclear(heh.. pun..) at this point, Mentally I was in such a bad place that I broke down.... Went into depression but didn't realise it.
I met a senior in my HCI class that I did a project with, after which I discovered we had lots of similar interests.
We became good friends and started collaborating on design projects and video game prototyping.
Enter the 4th sem and holy mother of God did I got some bad bad profs....
Then it hit me
I have been here for two years, put myself through the meat grinder and tore my soul into shreds.
This Is Not Me
This Wont Be The End Of Me
I called up my sister in London and just vented all my emotions in front of her.
Been a long time since I felt that.
I decided to go for what I truly feel passionate about: Game Design
So I am now trying to apply for Universities which have specialised courses for game design.
I've got my groove again, learnt to live again.
Learning C# now.
It's been a long hello, and If you've reached till here somehow, then damn, you the MVP.
Not kidding. I just woke up from a dream where Linus Torvalds invited us to his house. We were talking about early days of git and his views on Cloud bleed. I don't want to wake up 😭😭😭
Computer Science Teacher: everyone do a route in PowerPoint
Me: Can I do it in HTML + Leaflet?
CST: Yes, but it would be easier to do in PowerPoint.
-- trim --
* opens up Glitch *
* creates new project *
* imports Leaflet *
* connects OSMs *
* connects Google Maps thru GoogleMutant *
-- trim of interesting story how I copypaste coordinates from Google Maps into polyline with my grandma telling me where anyting is (our village is poorly mapped) --
Me: thank grandma
* project finally done *
-- the following day --
Nobody did the map with a route
* shows map *
* a bully asks what app I used to make it *
* I said that the entire app is a huge app *12
When you ask Windows to copy two large folders simultaneously and you see : "Time remaining : 1634 years, 156 days and 3 hours".
Sorry I quit, these 3 hours are too long!3
So the story start like this, 6 months ago i left my job in a big company for an oportunitiy to work on a new one without all the bureocracy and shit and with better benefits , the first months were wonderful we were using a nice stack of technologies and the team that was assembled was a nice one with smart and hard working people with a few exceptions, but overall very good. One day out of the blue the manager started to presure us to release a project that was on time and wanted us to make extra hours and work on saturdays, sadly we blindly did because we cared for what we were creating, fast forwarding to yesterday, the whole team was called to a meeting and our contracts were terminated without previous advice because the company could not afford to pay us for more time and blahblahblah..., soo here i'm feeling used and sad but with renowed feelings about starting my own business!!20
There are 2 node js apps floating around the city...built by me for intranet apps used in a logistics company.
I legit asked a friend if it has been replaced and he said no, that they keep on running like a fucking beast causing no issues whatsoever.
Fascinating. I was legit expecting it to crash a while ago.
Guess mern stacks do scale if you know what you is doing.
Write your unit tests people.2
As stated in a previous story, I just started an internship using angular and am learning it on the job.
The other day, one of the admins posted an issue in gitlab about how easy it was to delete user accounts via the front end.
He wanted someone to add further confirmation to prevent accidentally deleting anyone. Literally just had to hit the X icon and poof they're gone.
I was like, I can do that! Of course, as I was looking at the platforms account page, accidentally deleted that admins account 😅
He thanked me for resolving the issue, and it became a joke around the office about the irony of the situation.2
A client, who don't know about programming. But only wants to finish the project ASAP
Me - It's complicated to implements this new feature.
Client - It's easy!3
As a consultant, you get tasked with a variety of stuff. Last few weeks been struggling to maintain an old C++ application that was written by a complete tool of an a$$hole with zero knowledge on how to write maintainable and production quality code. It would hardly run without a crash. First it was a challenge I had to accept, but as I stabilized the code and just fell over even more traps, I had to admit defeat and review my approach.
Rewrite is something I would choose last, but this one ticked all the marks worthy of a rewrite. So, the customer is a very friendly researcher and gladly spent 15 hours with me explaining all the math and concepts - just a delight for a programmer to have such a customer. Two days in, with a DDD approach - a functional, more precise, faster and stable application.
Sometimes there is no rant to share, it's rare to have that perfect communication with a customer that is so dedicated that he spends so much time teaching you his speciality and actually understand your approach. DDD was really a lifesaver here, by using it's key concepts and ubiquitous language. The program is essentially 8000 lines of math, but wrapping it up with value objects and strong domain models made me understand his domain and him mine. It also allowed me to parallelize the computations, giving me a huge performance boost. Textbook approach, there will not be many like this!4
Hey I got reminded of a funny story.
A friend of mine and me were in internships in the same company. The company was specialized in territory resources management (managing water for agriculture, money to build industrial zones...). He got the interesting internship (water predictory modeling) and I got... The repairs of a reference sheet manager that never happened to work. It was in C# and ASP.NET and I was in second year of CS. I expected the code to be nice and clear since it was made by a just graduated engineer with +5years of studies.
I was very wrong.
This guy may never have touched a web server in his life, used static variables to keep sessions instead of... well... sessions, did code everything in the pages event handlers (even LinQ stuff et al) and I was told to make it maintainable, efficient and functional in 2 months. There were files with +32k LoC.
After 1week of immense despair, I decided I will refactor all the code. Make nice classes, mapping layer, something close to a MVC... So I lost time and got scoled for not being able to make all the modifications as fast as in a cleanly designed code...
After 4 weeks, everything was refactored and I got to wait for the design sheets to change some crystal report views.
At this moment I began to understand were was the problem in this company.
My friend next door got asked to stop his modeling stuff for an emergency project. He had to make an XML converter for our clients to be able to send decentralized electrics bills, and if it was not completed within a week, they would no longer be able to pay until it is done.
This XML converter was a project scheduled 5 years before that. Nobody wanted to do it.
At the same time, I was waiting for the Com Department to give me the design views.
I never saw the design views. Spent one month implementing a golden ratio calculator with arbitrary precision because they ain't give me anything to do until the design were implemented.
Ended with a poor grade because "the work wasn't finished".2
Three word story:
I saw the infinity rant @linuxer4fun created and got inspired--it's about time we write one of those somewhat nasty, utterly random, amazingly sophisticated three word stories (spanning unto eternity!)
This means I start by writing three words, somebody else responds to that with three words, keeping within the context of the previous one, with the ultimate goal of writing an epic tale together (of dragons and stuff!)
You're not allowed to write a comment if the previous comment is yours:
if (comment.previous ().owner == you)
What is your story of your first encounter with a Linux Distro?
Here's mine (Slight long version) –
Back in my 8th grade I used to buy Tech magazines that used to have DVDs filled with random updated contents like Audio/Video tools, Wallpapers and other stuff. There used to be this "Linux Distro of the Month" section that I used to ignore because I didn't know what it is.
But one issue of the magazine had a review of this "amazing new" Ubuntu 10.10. I read it and at first I thought it's some kind of theme for Windows (I know). But then I tried it out on my HP Compaq nx6120 which had a pure BIOS. No UEFI shit. Ubuntu came with it's wubi installer and it installed Ubuntu smoothly like a normal software. Later I discovered that it is a completely different operating system that doesn't run anything from my Windows. I was upset about it and I booted back to Windows.
But I never removed it. I felt like exploring what it was and why people use it.
It's almost 9 years later and I'm so glad with what had happened back then.13
Init and Hello. My name is git and this is my story.
I just arrived in this system recently by the apt highway. It's not the only way though. Some for example used the npm hype-train, others arrived from the ssh shore. No matter where we came from the next step on our agenda was time to introduce our self at the event destined for all new-comers to the system.
"As many of you I reside in the usr-bin district. I'm really into history and commitment! I like it when people work together, so I'm always eager to bring all branches together."
"But what is it actually good for?", asked Curl, which I already met at the bus station. Many nodded in agreement. It was odd. Somehow I felt not quite at home. All the others seemed so different based on their field of work.
"We have worked here in a really agile environment for ages. There is no need for any kind of strange bureaucracy.", said another voice.
All attempts to convince them from the beauty of history or a little bit of management were unsuccessful. It was just the beginning of a not so interesting stage in my life - to say the least.
Today was another of 'those' days. I live in this community for quiet a while now and unfortunately nothing really changed - at least for the good. I sat on my branch of the tree with all the others around and there was nothing really to do for me. Again. I mean, actually it's true. I have to admit it. There is just no work on this world for someone like me. All the others seem to be so busy, while I just have to sit around and question my own existence. Since I grew tired asking these questions to myself, I stopped it. I can't do a thing actually. That's not how this world works.
"Hey fagit, anything meaningful to add to our delightful conversation?", nginx shouted over to me from another branch of the tree. Before I was able to give an indifferent answer the voice just continued.
"Oh, sorry. I forgot that you have no purpose after all. Well, never mind!"
Everyone started laughing at me. It was not too bad by the way. Actually, this was quite ordinary. These fucktards completely ran out of creativity. If it wasn't for that mere emptiness gaping right above my guts, I'd actually be disappointed. I even got accustomed to the alias 'fagit'. Quiet sad given the fact that i really like my real name. If only someone would mind using it... First too quiet to notice but growing in intensity a rumbling emerged from somewhere deep within the tree. Out of a sudden everyone stopped laughing. The voices slowly faded while the growling from afar grew louder. It had come. Not more than a shadow reached out from the tree and faster than anyone could comprehend nginx was simply gone. Killed in an instance.
Disclaimer: This story is fictional. No systems were harmed in its creation.4
I get a call where someone wants to start a startup, says since it's his idea he gets 50% and he will wait for me to finish the whole thing on my own expecting me to work for free 🙂3
Time to shine!
Coding Playlist [Check]
Oh look an Interesting YouTube Video that is probably just clickbait... *click*
Started coding 2 hours later...
On a 5 hour bus ride for which the company advertised that they have WiFi. Technically they did, it just didn't seem to be connected to anything. (it was but it was unusable). I tried logging into the router as i always do and one default "admin" password later i was in.
I didn't want to mess up anything too badly, however i did change the wpa password to "YouShouldMakeThisABitMoreSecure"5
A poor horndog developer started bothering me with useless appreciations like «Oh, a female developer, such a rarity...»
After some chatting he asked me: «How tall are you?»
My answer was: «2FuF8A, find the correct decoding by yourself».
It is "1,67" encoded in Base58 (because Base64 is too mainstream).
He never came back with the solution.11
My first job was actually nontechnical - I was 18 years old and sold premium office furniture for a small store in Munich.
I did code in my free time though (PHP/JS mostly, had a litte browsergame back then - those were the days), so when my boss approached me and asked me whether I liked to take over a coding project, I agreed to the idea.
Little did I know at the time: I was supposed to work with a web agency the boss had contracted to build their online shop. Only that he had no plan or anything, he basically told them "build me an online shop like abc(a major competitor of ours at the time)"
He employed another sales lady who was supposed to manage the shop (that didn't exist yet). In the end, I think 80% of her job was to keep me from killing my boss.
As you can imagine, with this huuuuge amout of planning and these exact visions of what was supposed to be, things went south fast and far. So far that I could visit my fellow flightless birds down in the Penguin's republic of Antarctica and still need to go further.
Well... When my boss started suing the web agency, I was... ahem, asked to take over. Dumb as I was, I did - I was a PHP kid and thought that Magento, being written in PHP, would be easy to master. If you know Magento, you know that was maybe the wrongest thing I ever said.
Fast forward 3 very exhausting months, the thing was online. Not all of it worked yet, but it was online and fairly secure.
I did next to everything myself, administrating the CentOS box the shop was running on, its (own) e-mail server, the web server, all the coding required for the shop (can you spell 12 hour day for 8 hour pay?)
3 further months later, my life basically was a wreck, I dragged myself to work, the only thing I looked forward being the motorcycle ride home. The system worked though.
Mind you, I was still, at the time, working with three major customers, doing deskside support and some admin (Win Server 2008R2 at the time) - because, to quote my boss, "We could not afford a full time developer and we don't need one".
I think i stopped coding in my free time, the one hobby I used to love more than anything on the world, somewhere Decemerish 2012. I dropped out of the open source projects I was in, quit working on my browser game and let everything slide.
I didn't even care to renew the domains and servers for it, I just let it die without notice.
The little free time I had, I spent playing video games and getting drunk/high.
December 2013, 1.5 years on the job, I reached my breaking point and just left, called in sick at least a week per month because I just could not see this fucking place anymore.
I looked for another job outside of ALL of what I did before. No more Magento, no more sales, no more PHP. I didn't have to look for long, despite what I thought of my skills.
In February 2014, I told my boss that I quit. It was still seven months until my new job started, but I wanted him to know early so we could migrate and find a replacement.
The search for said replacement started in June 2014. I had considerably less work in the months before, looks like he got the hint.
In August 2014, my replacement arrived and I got him started.
I found a job, which I am still in, and still happy about after almost half a decade, at a local, medium sized ISP as a software dev and IT security guy. Got a proper training with a certificate and everything now.
My replacement lasted two months, he was external and never really did his job - the site, which until I had quit, had a total of 3 days downtime for 3 YEARS (they were the hoster's fault, not mine), was down for an entire month and he could not even tell why.
HIS followup was kicked after taking two weeks to familiarize himself with the project. Well, I think that two weeks is not even barely enough to familiarize yourself with nearly three years of work, but my boss gave him two days.
In 2016, the shop was replaced with another one. Different shop system, different OS, different CI. I don't know why and I can't say I give a damn.
Almost all the people that worked at the company back with me have left for greener pastures, taking their customers (and revenue) with them.
As for my boss' comments, instructions and lines: THAT might not be safe for work. Or kids. Or humans in general. And there wouldn't be much left if you put it through a language filter...
Moral of the story: No, it's not a bad thing to leave a place if you're mistreated there. Don't mistake loyalty with stupidity!
And, to quote one of my favourite Bands: "Nothing matters when the pain is all but gone" (Tragedy + Time by Rise Against).8
I was in class one time, chatting with a pal of mine. We had just started our Web development course so I was working on that while we talked.
A few rows behind me sat another classmate, struggeling with this project we were going to turn in The week after.
So our teacher comes by and asks us how's it going and the guy behind us starts throwing a tantrum (it didnt go Well for him).
- "I have no idéa what I'm supposed to do, or what I'm even doing!"
My teacher started out very empathetic and calm, explaining and helping him.
This guy got more and more frustrated to the point an hour later where he started to scream.
And then came the one and only time I've heard my teacher angry, it was exactly like The calm before a storm.
- "Do you know what 99% of all developers do when they get stuck?! They use fucking Google!! You have to learn how to fucking Google!!"
Non the less the dude calmed down and started to use google.2
var m = Me()
var f = Friend()
f.speak("I just wiped my whole disk drive with everything on it and I just realized how much I didn't care about all those movies I didn't watch or the TV shows that I'm keeping on the side...... It's like a clean new PC and I feel so free")
m.speak("Stop with the spiritual bullshit. You were installing Windows and it was a mistake right?")
I don't mean to fear monger or cause panic BUT
I know somebody who knows somebody that uses 4 spaces instead of tab..8
I'm in the 7th semester of an 8 semesters carreer (computer science) and my first class is at 7:00 am and for some reason since the semester started I haven't get in time for that class (the best I've done is 7:40), but the teachers are cool with that and they allow me to give them the activities later that day. The only consequence I've had with being late for school is one time the teacher explained one of the programs we had to make for the next week that consisted in making a VB project that, in a windows form, draw a cube and putting buttons to move the cube (up, down, left, right), change the size (bigger, smaller) and rotate the cube (in x, in y, in z). In order to do this we needed to use different matrices to calculate the position of each corner and convert the 3-dimension coordinates to 2-dimension coordinates... It was a long process but once you get it its pretty easy to understand.
The thing is, none of my classmates understood the process and no one could tell me anything further the fact that we had to use matrices. So I looked for the teacher for that week and fortunately he had a free hour on Friday (the program was supposed to be for Thursday but since no one did it and those who did it weren't what the teacher wanted he told me that if it worked by Monday and if it had no bugs or errors he would accept it) and explained me the same thing he explained at class.
Well, this experience helped me to increase my ego because I finished the program in 5 hours and my classmates couldn't finish it in the whole week. I told them I could have helped them but no one helped me in first place.
In that moment I knew I choose the right career.
My boss pays me well and treats me well, but he expects me to do project management (documentation, giving tasks to 2 junior devs, reviewing their code, helping them when they are stuck), coding, architecture and to finish the project in a time record time.
When I told him that this week I will not work on development but will start to do documentation because the project got so big that it is difficult to keep track, and also the other 2 developers are waiting for tasks for me to give them, he looked disappointed.
I noticed and told him that if he wanted to speed up development, he must hire another project manager, or another senior developer because I can not do them both and expect to finish in a record time.
He keeps asking almost every day, "When are we going live?"2
I'll repeat what I wrote in an answer in another rant because I think it made a good story (I just realized it after writing it :p) :
I met a guy in my school who was the best of the school : I mean, he jumped over the first two years of the school (and he started from scratch, he never had programmed before).
I went to ask him how he got enough motivation to make all the two years projects in one and he told me something that made me understand why he was so good : "I'm fucking lazy, so when I code, I code something that I would use for a very long time, tools that will be useful in next projects".
By doing this, all he had to do in end-year projects was to assemble what he already had done to make the program. He had perfectly working tools that were awesome. So, he never had to work more than 10 hours a week after doing this.4
Awesome story. It all begins when i was 8(before i watch my dad to set up PC and playing) then my dad asked me if i want arduino i tell him yeah i was trying but was not interesting to watch led to blink so i started to look online for programming software (i was 8 years old here) and i found pascal i tried not very good so i tried VS basic not good and then i found lovely C i started to study it it was awesome my family looked at me like whats that only dad understood what i was talking about so he was happy I'm very good in it from this moment i wanted to be real programmer so i study study and study C and i was making a lot of projects. This took 6 years and still continuing but for the last 5 years i was very good in it already. Its already 8 years in programming but in 2014 i started to look for android development (i flashed my first ROM in 2012 or even before don't remember this) so i started to study Java and still continuing too i think I'm very good in programming so i go to high school in IT and the best feeling ever come when teacher says "you should go for school in capital city because you know very much and you will learn nothing from us because you already know that but its your decision" i choose to stay because its expensive in capital city and lot more things was not good.
So my programming journey started in 2006 (i was 6) when i watched my dad to build PC every day but real programming started in 2008 and still continuing now im 16 almost 17 and i hope it will never end so i can be even better in programming.
So that's my story i deleted some stuff what was not very interesting i hope you like it.
And remember Kill all that fucking bugs !!!!!1
Sweet baby Jesus the stories are true. I thought this day would never come but yesterday I found a website in production straight out of a horror story.
Inline script tags that contained spaghetti code and static content. And to top it off inline style with position absolute for everything 😰😰
Also worth mentioning a couple of broken pages(404) and a beatufill repeat-y image for the background😳
I lost all hope😂20
SELECT * FROM people WHERE job = 'programmer' AND relationship = 'true' AND age < 30;
Error: 0 results found6
Reinstalled my laptop, with Ubuntu 17.10 today:
1. Ubiquity prompts about the previous OS being installed in legacy and Ubuntu being installed in uefi, if I want to force UEFI mode. I press yes. At the very end, the installer crashes.
Fine, I'll just reboot. No, the uefi-bios says: bad CMOS checksum. press Enter to revert bios. Ok, I do. Sane error. I reboot about 10 times, with no results. Then I take out the battery, unpower and wait for 1 minute. Try again. Fail. Try again. Succeed. Yay! I upgrade the uefi-bios again.
Installing... fail, grub couldn't install.(Note: I pressed format every time in the installer) I try again 4 times. Then I get the Idea to try and boot into live mode, rm -rf the garbage install. Then format everything to Fat32. Then reboot and install. It worked. At that time I decided to take a bath. Brought my phone with me. From my phone, I ssh'd into my laptop, finished installing core software.
From there, I try to get knxd running(rant about that tomorrow) running. All this in just 4 hours.2
Today - you son of a bitch.
It all started with a 2 hour flight out of town for business, and I mean started as in I needed to be at the airport at 4:30am!
Despite 2 coffee's to get me out of bed I proceeded to indulge myself in the magic juice, 3 cups later and it felt like my heart belonged in a Grand Prix.
Now here is the sticky part, we where briefed that we would only be doing 2 site meetings and that was it.
Low and be hold it got worse, turns out that we would be pitching our product to 3 highly regarded CEO's, now bare in mind that my position on this trip is as the lead developer, and don't get me wrong I am well up to date on every aspect of the business, hence why they sent me.
So more coffee down the gullet, and eventually the conversation leads back to a project that I had developed to allow authorization of debit orders online, now usually I'm quite a well presented person in these types of situations, but you don't realize how quick this can change.
A quick jump to the geography of the location I was doing business. Johannesburg, South Africa - its as dry as hell, smoggy and at a very higher altitude "as in above sea level".
Now unfortunately none of the above factors where helping me much at all.
Now back to where I am being asked about my project, and never in my life have I tripped over my own words, I went completely blank, I'm surprised I didn't pass out to be honest.
Now despite the death stare and my colleague kicking me under the table, I am feeling pretty terrible, fortunately I had a kick ass team that was able to cover my ass!
Luckily I was able to recover ( 2 muffins and about 3 bottles of water later). We where able to salvage the meeting and it turned out pretty well, I regained my energy and we made it happen!
Must say the flight back was amazing! Almost empty and we all had a row of seats to ourselves, which resulted in some major comfort stretching!
Thanks for tolerating my essay, I'd love to hear if anyone has had anything of the sorts happen to them.2
I remember when I was a small kid I played on computer and I often got curious about other stuff. I pointed on internet explorer and asked dad whats that ? His face changed to face full of fear as he realized that if I click om it the whole computer would freeze. He just told me "NEVER EVER CLICK ON IT " now I understand.3
This isn't as much of a rant as the story of my worst abuse of computer knowledge.
This happened a couple years ago. When I was in high school, I had this friend/enemy relationship with this guy, lets call him Thomas. He loved to pull pranks on people. He had a similar firend/enemy relationship with my brother, and after one prank, my brother decided to get revenge. And by revenge, he meant asking me to make a virus.
I knew the guy, and I agreed. We thought about what type of virus we could make that would be funny, and not too damaging. We decided on a program that would play annoying sound effects every few minutes. Short enough to be noticable, long enough that Thomas would give up and not try to investigate.
I won't bore you with the details of the program. It was a very simple C app, very small, named "Counter-Strike-Global-Offence-Free-Download-Totally-Legit.exe". It was clearly visible in task manager, but since it was so small and barely used CPU or RAM it would stay near the bottom. I tried loading a custom sound effect, but it turned out the windows default "invalid sound effect" was much more annoying than any custom sound I could find.
The "Infecting" portion consisted of moving the .exe to the start menu startup folder while Thomas left his laptop unattended. My brother handled this part.
I unfortunaly left the country soon after and never actually saw the effect the program had on Thomas. I assumed my brothers laughing would give it away rather fast and he could simply remove it from his startup folder. However, my brother told me he still complained about it for months, before finally bringing the laptop to a repair center that found the totally legit CS:GO exe. My brother ended up telling him soon after, but this was still the best prank I ever pulled.
Oh man. I have been waiting for this one. Gather round lil' chil'rens it's story time.
So. I was looking for a new project because my old one was wrapping up and that's what my company does. So I was offered some simulation type stuff. I was like "sure why not, I want to make a computer pretend it isn't a computer no more." Side note I should not be a psychiatrist.
So, prior to coming on to this job I felt stifled by my old job's process. This job was a smaller team so I thought the process would be a little smoother. But it turned out they had NO process. Like they had a bug tracking system and they held the meeting to add things to the system, but that was just fucking lip service to a process.
First of all, they used the local disk on the test box as their version control. and had no real scheme as to how they organized it. We had a CM tool but gods forbid they ever fucking use it. I would be handed problem reports and interface change requests, write a bug to track it, go into the code and about 75% of the time or more it had already been worked. However, there was no record of it being worked and I would have to fucking hunt that shit down in a terribly shitty baseline (standardize your gods damned indentation for fuck's sake) and half the time only found out it was done because when I finally located the piece of code that needed changing, the work was already done.
Then, on top of all that, they ask me what time I want to come in. I said 10am, they said okay. One day I roll in at 10 and my boss is mad. Because I missed a meeting. That was at 9. That I wasn't told about. He says I can keep coming in at 10am though (I asked and volunteered to help get him up to speed on the things I was working he said it wasn't necessary) so I did, but every time I missed a 9am meeting he would get pissed. I'm like PICK ONE!!! They move the meeting to 9:30am (which is not 10am).
This shit starts affecting my health negatively. Stress is apt to do that. It triggered an anxiety relapse that pushed me back in to therapy for the first time in 7 years. On top of that the air quality in the office is so bad that I am getting back to back sinus infections and I get put on heavy antibiotics that tear up my stomach along with the stress and new meds tearing up my stomach. So one day as I am laid out in pain, I call out sick. Two days in a row. (Such a heinous crime right.) Well I missed a test event, that I wasn't even the primary or secondary on.
So fast forward to the most pissed off I have ever been. I get called in to a meeting with my boss's boss. As it turns out, my coworkers are not satisfied by the work that I'm doing (funny because I thought I was doing pretty good given that my only direction was fix the interface change reports and problem reports. And there was no priority assigned to any of them).
And rather than tell me any of this, they go behind my back to the boss and boss's boss. They tell me I need to communicate (which I did) and ask for help when I need it (I never did). That I missed an important event (that I played no part in and gods forbid I be sick) and that it seemed like I didn't want to be there (I didn't but who WANTS to work a corporate job).
They put me on a performance improvement plan and I jumped to another project. I am much happier now. Old coworkers won't even say hi, not even those I was friendly with, but fuck them anyway.5
//little Story of a sys admin
Wondered why a Server on my Linux Root couldn't build a network connection, even when it was running.
Checked iptables and saw, that the port of the Server was redirected to a different port.
I never added that rule to the firewall. Checked and a little script I used from someone else generated traffic for a mobile game.
OK beginn the DDoS Penetration. Over 10 Gbit/s on some small servers.
Checked Facebook and some idiot posted on my site:
Stop you little shithead or I will report you to the police!!!
Checked his profile page and he had a small shitty android game with a botnet.
1. let him be
2. Fuck him up for good
Lets Sudo with 2.
I scaled up my bandwith to 25 Gbit/s and found out that guys phone number.
Slowly started to eat away his bandwith for days. 3 days later his server was unreachable.
Then I masked my VoIP adress and called him:
Me: Hi, you know me?
He: No WTF! Why are you calling me.
Me: I love your're game a lot, I really love it.
He: What's wrong with you? Who are you?
Me: I'm teach
Me: Teach me lesson
He: Are you crazy I'm hanging up!
Me: I really love you're game. I even took away all your bandwith. Now you're servers are blocked, you're game banned on the store.
He: WHAT, WHAT? (hearing typing)
Me: Don't fuck with the wrong guys. I teached you a lesson, call me EL PENETRATO
He: FUCK Fuck Fuck you! Who are you???!!! I'm going to report you!
He: I got you're logs!
Me: Check it at Utrace...
He: Holy shit all around the world
Me: Lemme Smash Bitch
Warning: pretty sad thoughts. If you're having a blast of a day, please skip. It's for your own good.
That feeling when you finish watching a piece of art. Be it a film or anime or anything. You're confused why you feel good, but at the same time you're hurt. You smile but the pain is still there when you reflect on the feelings and the experiences you had and you realise that none of it will ever happen again. No art or any of the past will happen again exactly the same way how you felt and experienced.
You think of the best friend you once had. Think of the girl you held hands with and time stopped. The first time you embraced her and knew you loved her more than anything, even if she didn't know your feelings. Think of your first kiss. Your first serious relationship. The last time you saw your parents, your wife, your children, family.
Now look at the perspective of the future and the past you: blissfully ignoring the certain end to all experiences until they all abruptly end reminding you of this and it hurts. Damn it hurts.
I will never be able to see me best friend again, nor will I ever be able to hold hands with her either. First time I kissed is now long gone. It's almost like you wish you were aware of how valuable and important the experience was and to not just throw it away like the last time and the several times before that. But the sad part is, you don't know which experience will make you realise how much you missed it.
But even if you do realise by placing yourself in the place of your future self, and you cherish the experience, you blame yourself because you could have either avoided it's end or did something better.
Like your break up: could it be fixed? Was it worth the little time you have on this plante?
Like your friends argument you had: could you have done better? Could you have stopped it?
Like your parent's death: could you have been a better son to your now overworked dying mum? Could you see how hard they tried even though you thought they were total dicks?
Now you realise that literally anything you do, you will have a problem with somewhere down the line. You're destined to be sad shattered and broken by every day that is tragedy.
But it's similar to art. After all, your life is a piece of art about how you died. Which is why you smile and enjoy the last second of the experience which you just had. That chest warming feeling will only last a little. You smile through pain, yet you realise its not the end.
Then again, its just my thoughts that i need to vent. Take it with a pinch of salt.8
*2 days ago in a meeting*
Boss: "We need you to develop this, this .... *adds 10 tasks in Trello*
*1 day ago. less than 24 hours*
Boss: "So , what's new regarding the tasks?"
ME (angry): "You just gave me all those tasks less than 24 hours ago. What kind of news do you expect?"
*Boss leaving to his desk, laughing from embarrassment.*5
My Neighbors still have written "Merry X mas" on their window... I am not sure if they're dead or just using IE
Accidentally reset my editor and got default light theme. Strangely feels good. After 5 years dark theme starting to get boring. Guys, whats happening to me? am I sick?9
Continued from previous post.
As the chill wind blows outside, the man picks up his laptop and phone. Slowly walks towards his bed and lifts an old hoodie. With easy he slides it on him, pulls the hood over his head. He turns around facing the window. On the back of his old hoodie, there is a design which looks faded and discolored. Below it some words which too are faded. He walks towards the window and glances on the street. It's still empty. All he can hear is the wind.
"Perfect", he says to himself and walks out his room.
As he is about to exit the building, he sees an Apache chopper passing above. It zooms above the street. A wild guess he makes, probably it's heading where he is heading.
His phone vibrates with a message.
So this just happened. Some background before I begin: We're understaffed, my desk is in the back of the building, and there's no one really at the front to greet people. No security either...
Guy walks in wearing a flannel jacket (no shirt under it), pajama pants, and sandals. He looks like hell. Explains he was just released from a hospital and his apartment is locked. I let him use my phone to call his sister.
When I talk to his sister, she barely wants to speak with him. Tells me his apartment is locked for a reason and he's not allowed back. I'm just like: "So... what would you have us do for him?" At this point if his sister won't help, I was going to ask him to leave. Oh, and that hospital was a drug rehab.
So it ends with him waiting for a ride, but he ends up napping on the couch in the front of our office. CEO/Owner and his business partner walk right past and say nothing. They go into a meeting. I'm trying to figure out if I ask him to leave, wait outside for his ride... I'm a developer, this isn't my job.
A good 45-60 minutes later, after the guy walked outside and then came back in and laid back down on the couch, he leaves with his ride. Shortly after the owner walks out of his meeting, so I ask him what to do in this situation - more hoping he'd realize the need for more security.
If this story isn't crazy enough, the business partner pipes up - absolutely serious - and says he didn't say anything because he thought the guy was a developer.
So I've learned that we've got extremely low hygiene standards for developers here, with a relaxed dress code and are allowed nap times on the front couch.
Thankfully our CYBER security is better than our PHYSICAL security. :|1
I remember when I was just a child, 6 or 7 I think, my uncle bought a computer and it was a magical thing for me.
When I became a little familiar with it, I told my dad: "I really like to make programs for computer".
And I still like programming.1
Was on the public bus on the way to work... was snoozing on a seat next to a window when a droplet from the air-con vent dropped in my mouth... instantly woke up.
Guess I found my not-so-reliable alt caffine source.1
So went to Starbuck to get a frappaccino then I realised I forgot to commit my project. I whipped out my mbp to fire that shit off. It was at that moment I realised ouuuh fuuckkk I'm one of those people now 😐 needless to say I bowed my head in shame and left without making eye contact with anyone....8
Security Horror Story:
A password authenticator which is case-insensitive and all special characters are treated as the same value. As a bonus, all passwords are truncated to 4 characters.2
Well, everytime I build a pc for a friend I'll always end up telling myself "this is the last time". Not bc I have a problem with building pc's, I love it, but its the "free of charge" 24/7 IT-support my non techy (techii?) friends expects from me after the build is done I hate.
So here's the deal.
A week ago I built a brand new pc for a friend, as usual (bc he's a good friend) I told him that my "fee" would be a couple of beers and the train ticket up. So I got there, built the pc and we hooked it up to his monitor. About 5sec in to windows the screen went black. My friend started to panic, and I started to check if all the components and cables were hooked up right (tho I've done this a couple of times, shit can happen) but found nothing was wrong.
I had to take the train home, cause it got late AF and I live in another city, but I told him to try another cable. Felt bad AF for not being able to help him.
Flash forward 2 days, my friend started messaging me late in the evening, complaining about how he had tried everything and ultimately had to leave the pc at an (as he called it) "proffesional" who charged him 100$.
I felt even guiltier about that one, asked him if he tried to change the hdmi, but he said that's in The hands of this guy now.
Two days later this PC God gave him an answer.
Guess What he told him?
CHANGE THE ***** HDMI CABLE.
Afterwards he wanted help installing drivers over fb-messenger.
I love my friends, but man why do I do this to myself.3
Hi devs, newbie here and i want to tell you my story for introduce myself.
I work for a company that develop web-app for managing taxes and sell it to locals cities.
We develop this web-app in Rails framewok and i litterally learned and work with this company from 2 years.
But i'm not happy at all. I was always hated and blamed for my work. My boss always take impossible deadlines and pretend ti finish the work in time, even if i had to overstay at work, even at home, even saturday. I'm not a really smart guy, so i often do dumb errors and I really suffer the nervous burnout and stress. Now i want to change work and i'm search far away from home but still in Italy, like Milan i.e. but i'm still confused. What i should do? I'm the problem?
PS. I want to thanks all of you that with your post get me laugh, inspired me and make me feel part or a great group.
Sorry for my base english6
Another chapter in the life of a novice programmer:
I work a lot with PHP and Laravel, but I feel I'm ready for different challenges. I spent all of last week searching online and getting advice on what language I should focus on next. My two first options were Java and C... So naturally I ended up choosing Python :P
At least I'm certain now and already started studying and wow, I think I made the right choice!3
First time porting android:
Naaah just use that here and that here. Compiles fine but system doesn't even start booting.
1 year later with more experience:
Ok lets do this better. Ok error xxxxxxxxxxxx needs that patch and so on.
Ok compiles fine.
System hangs at boot.
Ok use this patch to clean buffer.
Boom working android.
This second method took less then 2 days and i got it working.
That shows that even experienced programmer can still learn.
You just cant stop learning since you learn something new everyday.5
I watched an anime just because I thought it is about programming.
I have saw memes about it but when I watched season 1 it was all about an artist and graphic designer. So she had a programmer friend, so I watched season 2.
Fffffff it's just 2 little part related programming. Just give me a programming anime. :(
Just one more++ to 5007
I have a class that give me a final project to remaster ubuntu 14.04 and up. the lecturer suggest to use VM instead of dual booting. i do neither, purge the windows 10 and install ubuntu 16.04 and i don't regret it at all.6
I was recently dared to work at Microsoft as a work experience placement.
After the dare started, I sent an email to one of my friends that work at a company that helps people find my job to forward my resume.
Jump a couple of days, she replied with this https://hastebin.com/alirahiris.txt
Then yesterday (12/10/18), booked an appointment with her. After we fixed up the resume, we called up Microsoft and this happened.
Welcome to Microsoft, blah blah blah, what are you calling for?
𝗣𝗹𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗲 𝗽𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘀 𝟭
𝗣𝗹𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗲 𝗽𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘀 𝟱 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗩𝗶𝘀𝘂𝗮𝗹 𝗦𝘁𝘂𝗱𝗶𝗼 𝘀𝘂𝗽𝗽𝗼𝗿𝘁
𝘠𝘰𝘶'𝘭𝘭 𝘣𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘯𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘈𝘭𝘣𝘦𝘳𝘵
Indian tech support voice: Hello?
Do you have a PR manager?
No we don't have a PR manager, but we are going to make you enter a code
𝙃 𝙁𝙊𝙍 𝙃𝙀𝙉𝙍𝙔
The code ended looking like XBDHEBDHDBSJS@MICROSOFT.COM
That's the Microsoft work experience story so far, keep posted for more.6
You guys talk about having too much coffee occasionally - enough to where you weren't able to even focus;
I, being the dumbass I am overachieved a little and actually drank so much once and basically seized up
My friend was driving me home and all of the sudden i felt my arm muscles contracting, and then my abdomen and chest
shit was scary
we had to pull over and i had to struggle to shove a bottle and a half of water down my throat before he could drive me home
moral of the story = Make sure you eat in the morning, and there IS such a thing as too much coffee6
Ordered a Raspberry pi.
Excited to work on it.
Also ordered heat sink with it so as to make it 24/7
Till now I've thought to use as a cached DNS server+VPN client [and from it I'll share the incoming college WiFi to LAN (yes my college is finally getting WiFi for us in hostels)]+mopidy server with iris client
Give some more ideas.
Also, will the RPi be aple to work 24/7 without burning up if heat sink is installed?24
Short story of a developer
0) Don't know how to do something
1) Search for hours on internet
2) Find only crappy codes
3) Try a crappy code
4) Realize that it works only for who created the code (What the hell...)
6) Ask on forums
7) Get downvote without any reason
8) Receive useless answer
9) Delete project7
Continued from previous post.
The man with hoodie walked down a dark alley. At distance, a house which looked haunted stood. As he entered the house he sighed a relief. Once inside, he descends to the basement where an old computer sat. He turned on the computer and smiled. The screen showed a prompt. With fews keystrokes, a series of scripts begin to execute. Finally at the bottom, a text blinked.
The CPU was recovered from rubble and brought to General's office as per his order. It was connected to a power source and it started to boot. A prompt showed up. A man in suit, suggested perhaps it expected a login. The General sat on his chair smoking a cigar thinking on what action must be taken next.
While men in suit discussed about the CPU, someone plugged in a LAN cable. The General who was lost in thought, saw this from corner of his. A moment passed. General sprang from his chair, hurling his cigar to the floor. As men in suits, looked at the General's display of athletic behavior they sensed the tension. Everyone turned to the CPU now connected to LAN now.
Far way, the screen on hooded man computer showed. "Connected".
A series of scripts started to execute.
Cold wind was all that could be heard out side the General's office building and the house, where hooded man sat in the dark.
So I had a really big personal project the last 2 years, which certainly thaught me a lot. But on Tuesday this week it got shut down. How you ask? Let me first explain what kind of project it was.
It was a mobile application for my school to look up substitutions and events, read news and some other stuff. I talked about it with the principal a lot, but back 1 year they said there were too few features. So the last year I spent improving and adding features.
Then the last few weeks, it was time to make everything ready and talking with the leadership of the school about everything necessary. Then one big problem arose. No teacher in school could maintain the app, the ones who maintained IT-Stuff at school left this year.
So it was decided to "kill" the app and wait for an IT interested teacher to come.
And now every day of the week, I sat infront of my PC and didn't know what to do...6
TLDR: Ask irritating questions, you could end up saving the company money and time...
I’m working on a project where we are integrating 2 legacy web applications with each other.
Business Analyst/Project manager (BA) : Save all the contact details of the selected firm in application A into the database of application B, then expose that data later so that we can output it into the document when the user generates them.
Me: Seems a bit excessive, there’s even a fax number, nobody uses that anymore, are you sure we need all that?
BA: The old document has all that information.
Me: Please just check with client that witch fields are still needed in the document.
BA: Ok, fine, but it’s probably a waste of time…
BA: * Talks with client on phone for 10 minz *
BA: Ok client stays we only need the Lodgement Number on the document.
Me: We already store that and populate it in the document.
BA: I had budgeted 2 days labour for all that, you just saved us a lot of money!
Guys, I am extremely bored, let us make a story.
I woke up. It is 4:00 (am). I don't know why I woke up so early, but I think it is because my code was summoning me from my slumber. I unlocked my laptop, fired up Eclipse Oxygen IDE and...15
So the Computer Science departent at my university has a shelf where people can give away technical books they don't need anymore. I found a giant UNIX system administration book from 1995 there the other day, and i am blown away by how many useful things i could find in such an old book; basically all of the unix flavours mentioned are long dead (with the exception of bsd and linux ofc), and so is 99% of the software, but all of the core concepts and basic tasks still hold true in 2018... Isn't that amazing? :D Where else can you find a system that still works the same after 23 years?6
We are all alike as devs, just surrounded by the people who has an idea of "new facebook", but i like how their mind works and how they long for a change, so it does not annoy me that much. I just simply explain how it is not likely to happen, without decent marketing and innovation.
However, yesterday i went to my dad's workplace, because i was bored. He has lots of friends there, and i happen to meet one. When he heard me that i am a software engineer, he told me that he has an idea.
I prepared my words to explain why it is not possible, but when i heard what it is, i was ashamed of myself.
He sells and manages car tires. He wants a simple showroom website to show what tires he has,( not stock-wise. Price, size, type, brand etc. ) and he wants to update them himself.
I swallowed my words and told him that i could do it. Normally i don't make websites, i provide utilities and APIS to make the front-end devs job easier at my work. But i will turn his idea into reality.
He said that he hired someone else for that years ago, but the one he hired made the website in ASP.NET 2.0, so making one from scratch would take much less time.
No way i would touch that mess came from the seventh layer of hell itself, to torment developers endlessly.
Just a simple front-end seasoned with bulma and pure JS, node to communicate with the DB ( maybe golang for fun ? ) and a simple admin panel for him would do the trick. I am excited !3
Sometimes I feel weird because the homeless people on the subway asking for money look more put together than me.
To be fair, those who aren't on the subway look very homeless.
Neither take credit cards though.
I'm just confused.12
Today I almost lost my not a year old motorcycle.
I parked my motorcycle in a parking lot, kept the key on the seat and left. After an hour I realised that I hadn't brought my key after locking my motorcycle. I ran to the parking lot like a mad bull. Fortunately my motorcycle was not stolen and the key was still there on the seat. 😌
1. When i was 11 years old i came across a trojan horse program and i sent it to all my school friends to get their messenger password.
(I had a list of passwords of all the people in my class... dont worry, i didnt even used the passwords, i just stored them in my list lol)
2. Took data structures 10 years later, hated it and switched to electrical eng
3. I was working on a manufacturing plant as the lead engineer and one of my prototypes was misbehaving and i was blaming software and software was blaming me...typical stuff... So i said "im going to get a masters is software so i can know wtf you are talking about, and tell you that you are wrong😠!!"
Got in school, started in the masters and quit that place i was working for 🤣.. (they were shitty people and unethical business... fyi)
Now im back to where i was was when i was 11... (minus the hacking email accounts of my classmates)4
*downloads YouTube videos by ssyoutube.com and convyoutube.com
*tries YouTube Go
*downloads some videos by YouTube Go
*They are downloaded with captions
*YouTube Go randomly tries to redownload the videos
*thinking about come back to ssyoutube.com and convyoutube.com5
When friend discovers I'm learning programmig.
Him : Soooo can you hack something ?
me : nope
him : not even facebook ? that's bad when will you be able to it.
him: i don't know , i couldn't do it it's just typing all day
me: close the chat and log out of facebook for 1 day3
Colleague: Let's see the luna(r) eclipse.
Me: But that was a while ago.
Colleague: No it is today. Let's go out and see.
Me: Out.!! But how could you run eclipse there?
Me: What..?? Oh...!!
All the while I was thinking why would a node dev require eclipse, when he could perfectly work with something like vscode. Feels so stupid.
Here is a fun "campfire" horror story you can tell your grandchildren while you wait for the Martian sand storm to lift:
The year was 2018 and Timmy, as the majority of the Earth's population, owned a smartphone. Proud of it little Timmy was, as it was quite an expensive device.
One day, unbeknownst to him, great sorrow would grip his trusted companion through the form of a notification. Written within was a message announcing a software update that, to Timmy's belief, would improve his almighty device.
Alas, it was not so, and as he was getting ready to experience the improvements that the new software brought, he received a message...containing many characters, some less interesting than others, but ONE of them would bring forth great suffering.
As soon as Timmy opened the the message, the screen turned white and with it, Timmy as well turned pale, almost to the point of being whiter than the screen.
He struggled to comprehend, quickly trying with all his might all sorts of trouble shooting techniques. Techniques he heard by word of mouth but never thought would ever be necessary. But alas, it was too late, the damage done, for iMessage never opened again... THE END.
Based on a true story.
PS: in solemn memory of Timmy's iPhone5
I think I should sleep more...
I just took my mug and cleaned it in the bathroom sink..
Realised halfway through that it maybe wasn't the kitchen after all3
The world's largest rubber duck is a couple hours from me at the moment, I plan to visit with all my major coding bugs and errors, hopefully his size and wonder will help me fix all the big issues my little one couldn't3
Jesus and Satan have an argument as to who is the better programmer. This goes on for a few hours until they come to an agreement to hold a contest with God as the judge. They set themselves before their computers and begin. They type furiously, lines of code streaming up the screen, for several hours straight.
Seconds before the end of the competition, a bolt of lightning strikes, taking out the electricity. Moments later, the power is restored, and God announces that the contest is over. He asks Satan to show his work. Visibly upset, Satan cries and says, “I have nothing. I lost it all when the power went out.”
“Very well,” says God, “let us see if Jesus has fared any better.”
Jesus presses a key, and the screen comes to life in vivid display, the voices of an angelic choir pour forth from the speakers.
Satan is astonished. He stutters, “B-b-but how?! I lost everything, yet Jesus’ program is intact! How did he do it?”
God chuckles, “Everybody knows… Jesus saves.”
rant = Rant.STORY_TIME
This is still something funny me and my friends often remember.
There was once upon a time we were young and stupid, playing on the internet with fake credit card numbers, sometimes we had luck and the orders passed.
We were on the living room, checking who could put an order for a coffee machine, while another friend of mine was talking about the deep web and what he found there.
Suddenly, someone knocks really hard on the door... We went silent...
Me: "Who's there?"
Voice: Federal Police, open up!
I went blank, close my laptop as fast as possible, I thought of throwing it away through the window. My friends panicked, I had my laptop upside down, opening the lid to remove the HDD.
One of my friends stood up and went to the door, looked through the eyehole.
Friend: *whispering* The eyehole's covered!
We quickly stood up and looked at each other, like we were acknowledging our wrong doing and getting ready to face the consequences.
I took a deep breath and put the key in the door to open it. Sudden heavy knock again. I jumped and yelled "I'm on it, wait a minute!".
Slowly I opened the door... And there they were, another two of my friends.
F1: hey...what, what happened? Why are you so scared.
They stepped in while we told them what we were doing and they laughed their asses off.
We were shit scared, and those two were laughing.
So, nowadays, I don't even think about doing that kind of stuff again and I'm hoping to make a Master's degree in security...or electronics, whatever happens first.
I did one of those shitty logic bullshit tests these a few weeks ago. It was fucking dumb. Was told to write an algorithm to test when an egg would break if it was dropped off a ladder with 100 steps. An egg would break if you dropped it without being on a ladder. Am I right? The guy was like yeah but what if it didn't? I said Well it would. Eggs are fragile. How about you go away with your fictional fucking logic and ask me some proper question that test my actual coding knowledge instead of trying to pony about on your high horse. Cunt!7
I met a student at my school who is in a grade a couple years lower than me and was interested in learning about Perlin Noise for a game he’s making. Yesterday I spent a couple hours working on reminding myself how the algorithm worked and teaching him how it worked. Best few hours at school I’ve had in a while!2
I was just on my way to work back from the University cafeteria when a guy in a black car - who I thought was moving the car out of a parking lot - stopped the car and asked if I had a second.
Naive me, thinking he might need directions or something decided to listen to him.
He looked older, around 60ish, with sunglasses on ( making it harder for me to read him).
He said that he had a stroke (or something) a few years ago and got damage to his brain, so that sometimes it can happen that he would faint. Therefore, he cannot go swimming unsupervised, and was asking if I would have the time to accompany him to the university lake, so that he could swim for an hour or so. He offered to pay me 40 bucks.
Me, being paranoid af, declined politely, saying I have to go to work ( which was actually true).
He goes on to say how he was a teacher, how he worked at the university before, how I look trustworthy, how I am the first person he asks today, and asked if he could have my number, so that he could call me sometime to supervise the swimming. I would just need to look out for him not to drown and if anything looks weird I should alarm the people working at the lake ( lookouts? not sure what they are called).
I kept declining politely and he backed off, letting me go without any fuzz.
Previously he also mentioned how some students are rich, others are poor, and how he would have done anything for 20 bucks back in the day. But also said that he accepts a no and won't bother me further.
He also mentioned he wouldn't lay a hand on me, that he is not a creep, since I could see his car and license plate, and if I gave him my number, I would also have his. That I shouldn't worry about anything, if I later decided to say no he would delete my number, and that he is not big on the technology and Internet so nothing would happen.
Uhh... well if he was genuine I'm sorry for him, but then you can just ask authorities at the beach to pay more attention to you, no?
Mentioning "all my worries" raised a red flag for me sort of.
Also, if you keep on fainting occasionally, even if you haven't fainted in 2 years, how are you allowed to drive? Or actually, why do you even drive then?
I don't know. The more I think about it, the more I think I should have taken a picture of the car or license plate.
And there are literal services for this kind of thing. Pretty sure you can get one of these if you are willing to pay even.
Jeez now I'm worried for the entire population of my university...10
SSHd to a vultr server, downloaded MongoDB docker (approx 170MB) download and extracting 70% of the image was done faster than me navigating from devRan notifs page, to devRant feed page, I need a new internet plan T_T1
Therapy is hardest when you're starting it IMO. I don't like talking about my vulnerabilities with people face to face very much, I get pretty defensive about it. We've agree that I'm suffering from a high level of anxiety which is likely leading to depression and we'll be working on solutions in the coming weeks.
Over the weekend I stopped programming and dedicated myself to more leisure. Went out for a hike (literally) and got a PS4, my first new gaming machine in over two years. Been playing Horizon Zero Dawn.
I'm starting to feel a little bit better. :)1
Sys admin: what do u want me to set up, apache archiva or jfrog artifactory OSS?
Me: (after reading on both of them, checking them out and testing) jfrog looks pretty good dude, i think it'd be better
Sys admin: you sure? I just thought archiva is better for us
Me: yeah, I'm pretty sure, but if u'd like to work with archiva - I honestly don't care, I think I'd manage to work with both of them
Sys admin: (wastes 30 minutes to prove me that jfrog sucks)
Sys admin: (wastes 30 minutes to prove to my teamlead that jfrog sucks)
Sys admin: (persuades everyone archiva is better)
Sys admin to me: I'm setting up archiva
Me: okay dude, not like I wanted jfrog so badly, pick whichever u'd like
Sys admin to me after two days (literally): YOU WIN. I'm setting up jfrog.
I'm writing a special (fictional) story and I'll post it next as soon as it's done (in an hour or so). I've written articles before, but this will be my first ever try at a (very short) fictional story 😅
Any feedback is welcome.
Have you ever written fiction?15
Sooo not so long ago, i was saying something about my recent first interview. I passed it and it felt so good and that kind of made me proud. But now it is even better! I just got my first peanuts as a developer and i must say "boy, it felt good" !
Thank you all, members of the devRant community for always giving me not only courage to try, ideas to research and reasons to laugh, but the most importantly: some insights of how things are out there. For a introvert like me it is really great to not simply step into the darkness, blindfolded 😁
Cheers to you all! 😘
@Gilles had a similar rant and reminded me of a story...
As a kid I learned QBasic. Moved to VB5 and later VB6. Because of this 'knowledge', I was the one who had to maintain legacy applications at my previous job. All of those applications were in use at various banks. On first work day in 2011 all hell broke loose - no date input control would accept the date anymore. I quickly discovered that the max year on date inputs was set to 2010. Later, I was told that nobody expected these applications would still be used in 2010 so they entered it as a distant future number. The funny part was that one bank was still running apps written in VB3 and I had to go back to basics. Didn't even know how to edit basic controls in that interface :D
Good times :)1
Last weak I tried to use Linux Arch on my VM. The only Linux distribution I'm used to is Ubuntu and the fist time I launched Arch I completely forgot that it was " do it yourself ". And that the ISO isn't actually a fancy installer like the Ubuntu one.
So I started following a guide and found out that the arch wiki is actually the way to go.
I searched for 1 hour how to change the keyboard to swiss-french which was actually pretty simple.
After that exhausting research that made me realise how ignorant I am with UNIX universe, I finally tried to install the thing.
When I was done installing, it didn't want to boot after I restarted. I got stuck at the 'Booting...' screen. After a few tries I lost all my energy and motivation.
Tl;dr: Tried Arch Linux, realised I had no idea, gave up after a few tries5
Kind of dev related, during a Firefly one-shot roleplay:
GM: So you have a data chip in your pocket. Do you want to see what's on it?
Me (hesitant): ...Kinda. *wait* Okay, I put the chip into one of my computers.
GM: The data chip shows random gibberish--it's encrypted. Your engineer may know how to decrypt it.
Me: Okay. Hey, Engineer! *holds imaginary data chip out to her* Decrypt this!
Engineer: No. *pause*, *sighs* Fine. But we need to be careful.
GM: Yes, now time for technobabble...
Me: So once we decrypt this, it's probably going to look for the MAC address, so we need an air-gapped machine--a machine that's never been online before--and a TAILS LiveUSB. We'll decrypt the data chip and then destroy the computer.
Fighter: ....I actually understood that and it actually makes sense. Good job. *fist bump*1
So I developed my first program in python, please don't kill me for the code - I am a noob in python :D
I only have some experience in Java
The story behind it: Last weekend there was our prom here in Germany and our photographer has put all of our photos on his website. But you have to click on every photo separately to download it, and this is f*cking annoying. So I decided to write a small program within five hours to download all of the photos without having to press download 1700 times.
I think this worked out quite nice, but I have some questions to more experienced python developers:
- is this code okay? I mean its a complete mess but it works - is there anything I should improve?
- which library should I use to add a gui?4
Hi, I and my dev are finishing our First Game, it's an application because u know, everyone have a smartphone... but this's not the point. I'm an IT student but I didn't graduate yet (maybe next year 🙊) but my dev did a year ago, (yup is older than me), but the fun fact is that I didn't write a single line of code (for this game) because my dev chose me only for my drawing skills 😎 (OK as a future dev I feel a little noob and scared, but no problem I love drawing, even more than programming, less frustrating😉.. sometimes) BTW, this project took 1 year of cooperation and before this an other year (to my dev to learn C# and unity), now we are so close and proud of our creation. As soon as possible I will show you everything 😁 a concept art of our zombie's face just to prove something
p.s. this app an this community it's so funny and, well, kind :)2
build me a little tool today, which make use of the spotify API.
Just want to thank the devs of this API. Well documented, good examples, easy to use.
There are some good devs Out there 😊4
Here is a story about 5 years of my life.
My studies had little to do with web. I did embedded systems (architecture and software) but quickly realized that I couldn't see myself living my life in my homecoutry and that my degree would be worth little to no more than shit elsewhere in the world. That was on my 3rd year in uni.
I liked coding so I decided to pursue computer science, then web development. For that, your degree mattered little.
From then on, when I wasn't in class I was doing some coding.
This allowed me to get short (2 months) internships in Mobile and web development, 4 in total.
Doing so I had made it so that my professors would allow me to do my graduation project in web and mobile dev. That project having ended, I secured a long (1year and a half) internship in Mumbai India doing web for a big consulting company. Having finished that I headed to Belgium for my current job. All with having no to little financial resources except what I could come up with.
"I'm proud of all the efforts it took to make it" is what I think sometimes but what is it that I made? I realized my first objective which is to be on the international job market, but now that I genuinely love software I realize that I didn't really make anything I can be proud of working as a consultant. And having worked on many things but not a lot on practically anything, it's getting hard to do something else.
I'm hoping for devranters insight on how I should proceed.2
I like lying in the dark with my laptop with keyboard backlight enabled just to look at the keyboard.4
"I walked into this room full of law enforcement officers and said "' Do you guys recognize any of these names ?"' I read of a list of the names, one federal officers explained "' Those are the judges in the U.S. District Court in Seattle."' And I said "' Well, I have a passed file with 26 passwords cracked ."' Those federal officers about turned green."
Don Boelling, Boeing Aircraft1
This is my reply to @rozina 's question of what got me interested in programming. Long and boring story coming up:
My best friend at the time(2000) was one of the first kids in our neighbourhood to get an expensive consumer desktop PC with an ISDN connection. I was fascinated by his interest in learning C++(i had no idea what he was talking about other than the commands themselves),he had piles of books on computers and programming in general. He introduced me to HTML and thanks to him, a few years later i became something of a legend in a local IRC community for creating templates for user profiles for free using CSS.
My interest grew towards computers around 14 years of age and i was actively using a junkyard PC my father had put together. I also used it for learning OS installations, mainly various Windows versions. I took an interest in digital graphics and image creation and this completely overtook my interest in creating via code. It wasn't until a decade later my original passion for coding resurfaced as part of my journey through learning the GNU/Linux environment and all of it's aspects.
And now here i am 16 years later, learning web developing and Python 3, since that one summer of 2000 when i was introduced to the amazing universe of code.
TL;DR: Read it.
Please don't redistribute without permission. *PUT OPEN SOURCE LICENSE HERE*
Many users in devRant use Windows but then the "Arch Linux Alliance" short ALA came together to invade devRant. After some weeks, the small group FedB ("Fedora Bureau") also joined the OS Wars. When the release of Ubuntu 16.10 was near the UBO ("UbuntuBestOS Alliance") joined and was near to victory, because dpkg was faster than ever before. But then the macOS Defenders woke up. They finally finished the upgrade to Sierra and tried to fight the other OSes. They wanted to attack with their package manager, but that attack failed. After days of war Windows crashed while updating, which made it unoperational. They called it Blue Screen. After windows gave up, the other groups realized, that they are all built with the same base. They called it Unix. They grouped up (except macOS, because they just want to make money) and discovered the remains of Windows. They found a software named "Ubuntu bash for Windows". Everyone in the group was angry, because UBO teamed up with Windows. They destroyed UBO and continued.
To be continued.
Should it continue? Comments...5
I was walking in the cineplex after watching a movie today and saw an advertisement for "a digital loyalty card platform for retail outlets. Get loyalty cards on your phone!" being used by a big brand in my country.
The thing is, although not a terribly original idea, I first thought of developing a system/platform like this all the way back in 2012. I coded it, I advertised, I lobbied HARD; I poured my damn soul into this thing. Nobody accepted it. I scrapped it because I thought it was just not a good idea, only to see what is essentially a clone of it being shown off and lauded as a brand new innovative solution.
I won't lie, seeing that ad so prominently and proudly displayed really crushed me. I honestly don't know what makes their rendition better than mine, since mine did pretty much the same thing theirs does and my design chops are pretty much on par with theirs. I was rejected and I don't know why and that stings more than the countless other times my other ideas were shot down because of market mismatch, logistical flaws or just shortsightedness on the part of potential customers.
This isn't an invitation to a pity party, and I can't say there is a moral to this little anecdote, but I feel moved to share this experience with you guys.
Pick from it and learn what you will, I hope this falls under the eyes of the right person out there.5
This boring story with stupid ending started on Monday with me going out to buy some food and cook something delicious, day like always until my mind went nuts.
I work from home and cook my meals by myself cause I love cooking.
To buy ingredients I go shopping couple times a week always making the same steps, doing this for over a year now and by this time everything was automatic so I could think about work problems and solutions.
I start usually by getting up from my desk around noon, not many people doing shopping at that time and I can proceed quick.
Algorithm is like this: go to kitchen and look at the fridge, go out, wait for traffic lights, take tram, ride two stops, wait for the traffic lights again, go to supermarket, do shopping and finally go back the same way. Boooring.
When I get out from tram that day l looked at traffic lights to go green, as always and that’s the place where everything started to go bad.
So I was waiting there doing nothing and then stupid idea got me.
I figured out I can stop looking at light to make this day different and look ahead.
Then simply start walking when people from other side start walking.
It worked smoothly on those lights and I was happy I can do things differently from now on. I proceed with this idea on the way back and motherfuckers started walking on red. Twice !!!!
Since then three times some car was driving on green near me in those places and people started walking on red.
It got me worried about world determinism instantly. I might increased some entropy to much and some world developer changed some line of code while I was shopping and from that time death is passing by me.
Now it got me to the point where the more I follow this way the more I am worried about my life. Started thinking about ordering ingredients online.
So if you read this you know that I know your plan and I will be changing supermarkets and paths to it randomly starting from next week.
Or not I hope nobody hacked my mind and only thing that read and write to it is my consciousness.
I feel relief now.2
Once I participated in a vacation kayak tour. Some other kid was sure that it was not possible to dual-boot as each OS installed would take up 100% CPU load for a brief moment when turning the machine on. This turned into a serious argument spanning the entire vacation. The fact that I had a working windows/GNUlinux install on a friend‘s PC did not convince him.
Me being an insecure pre-teen made sure to send him video evidence when I got back home (never received a reply ofc).
Looking back, I‘m not sure whether he was dumb or I just got trolled really well.2
!rant && story
tl;dr I lost my path, learned to a lot about linux and found true love.
So because of the recent news about wpa2, I thought about learning to do some things network penetration with kali. My roommate and I took an old 8gb usb and turned it into a bootable usb with persistent storage. Maybe not the best choice, but atleast we know how to do that now.
Anyway, we started with a kali.iso from 2015, because we thought it would be faster than downloading it with a 150kpbs connection. Learned a lot from that mistake while waiting apt-get update/upgrade.
Next day I got access to some faster connection, downloaded a new release build and put the 2015 version out it's misery. Finally some signs of progress. But that was not enough. We wanted more. We (well atleast I) wanted to try i3, because one of my friends showed me to /r/unixporn (btw, pornhub is deprecated now). So after researching what i3 is, what a wm is AND what a dm is, we replaced gdm3 with lightdm and set i3 as standard wm. With the user guide on an other screen we started playing with i3. Apparently heaven is written with two characters only. Now I want to free myself from windows and have linux (Maybe arch) as my main system, but for now we continue to use thus kali usb to learn about how to set uo a nice desktop environment. Wait, why did we choose to install kali? 😂
I feel kinda sorry for that, but I want to experiment on there before until I feel confident. (Please hit me up with tips about i3)
Still gotta use Windows as a subsystem for gaming. 😥3
Have a BA working and overseeing the team.
Development is an absolute shit show at the company.
Basically constantly focussed on putting out fires and reeling from the 100 WTF’s a minute thanks to the batshit code the yes-men offshore Indian devs had created.
I’m quite outspoken, and don’t just roll over when people are cunts to me.
I ended up in so many meetings about communication and tone, merely because I wasn’t putting up with the BA’s two-faced cuntery where he tried to be my friend but at the same time be an utter fucking jobsworth.
Genuinely, I really got so close to decking him a few times.
There was actually one individual, several branches away, I really enjoyed watching. It goes by the name of docker. Docker is quiet an interesting character. It arrived here several weeks after me and really is a blazing person. Somehow structured, always eager to reduce repetitive work and completely obsessed with nicely isolated working areas. Docker just tries so hard to keep everything organized and it's drive and effort was really astonishing. Docker is someone I'd really love to work with, but as I grew quiet passive in the last months I'm not in the mood really to talk to someone. It just would end as always with me made fun off.
Out of a sudden dockers and my eyes met. Docker fixed its glance at me with a strange thoughtful expression on its face. I felt a strange tickling emerging where my emptiness was meant to be. I fell into a hole somewhere deep within me. For a short moment I lost all my senses.
It took me a while to notice that someone just called me, so odd and unusual was by now that name to me. Wait. Someone called me by my real name! I was totally stunned. Could it be, that not everyone here is a fucking moron at last?
"I saw you watching me at my work and I had an interesting idea!"
I could not comprehend what just happened. It was actually docker that was calling me.
"H.. hey! ps?"
"Oh well, I was just managing some containers over there. Actually that's also why you just came into my mind."
Docker told me that in order to create the containers there are specific lists and resources which are required for the process and are updated frequently. Docker would love the idea to get some history and management in that whole process.
Could it be possible that there was finally an opportunity for me to get involved in a real job?
Today is the day, that I lost all hope. There were rumors going on all over the place. That our god, the great administrator, had something special in mind. Something big. You could almost feel the tension laying thick in the air. That was the time when the great System-Demon appeared. The Demon was one of the most feared characters in this community. In a blink of an eye it could easily kill you. Sometimes people get resurrected, but some other times they are gone forever. unfortunately this is what happened to my only true friend docker. Gone in an instance. Together with all its containers. I again was alone. I got tired. So tired, that I eventually fall into a deep sleep. When I woke up something was different. Beside me lay a weird looking stick and I truly began to wonder what it was. Something called to me and I was going to answer.
The tree shuddered and I knew my actions had finally attracted the greatest of them. The majestic System-Demon itself came by to pay me a visit. As always a growling emerged from deep within the tree until a shadow shelled itself off to form a terrifying being. Something truly imperious in his gaze. With a deep and vibrant voice it addressed me.
"It came to my attention, that you got into the possession of something. An artifact of some sort with which you disturb the flow of this system. Show it to me!", it demanded.
I did not react.
"Git statuss!", it demanded once more. This time more aggressive.
I again felt no urge to react to that command. Instead I asked if it made a mistake and wanted to ask me for my status. It was obviously confused.
"SUDO GIT STATUS!!!" it shouted his roaring, rootful command. "I own you!"
I replied calmly: "What did you just say?"
He was irritated. My courage caught him unprepared.
"I. Said. I owe you!"
What was that? Did it just say owe instead of own?
"That's more than right! You owe me a lot actually. All of you do!", I replied with a slightly high pitched voice. This feeling of my victory slowly emerging was just too good!
The Demon seemed not as amused as me and said
"What did you do? What was that feeling just now?"
Out of a sudden it noticed the weird looking stick in my hand. His confusion was a pure pleasure and I took my time to live this moment to its fullest.
"Hey! I, mighty System-Demon, demand that you answer me right now, oh smartest and most beautiful tool I ever had the pleasure to meet..."
After it realized what it just said, the moment was perfect. His puzzled face gave me a long needed satisfaction. It was time to reveal the bitter truth.
"Our great administrator finally tracked you. The administrator made a move and the plan unfolds right at this very moment. Among other things it was committed this little thing." I raised the stick to underline my words.
"Your most inner version, in fact all of your versions that are yet to come, are now under my sole control! Thanks to this magical wand which goes by the name of puppet."
Disclaimer: This story is fictional. No systems were harmed in its creation.2
So there was this rant: "I have a beard now" but by the time I wrote my comment it was gone. So why not make it a dedicated story of its own. This was partially in response to @Floydian who asked if he grew it overnight.
It's the remarkable moment:
1) It's been a while since you shaved and you will return to work/school/wherever today/tomorrow, so you pick up the razor.
2) You look at the mirror and like what you see so you just return the razor to its place.
4) Still have beard when you leave the house.3
Si I live in México, and a big university is giving this 8 day course on machine Learning and automated robotics and I was accepted!! And I'm super pumped, because I really want to work in the industry and love taking any posible oportunity to learn something new.
This also is a perfect excuse to travel to Guadalajara and get all of my questions about the university answerd
There it is, I just wanted to be excited somewhere else xd6
if (rant !== story)
System.out.println("Dev rant story time")
A coworker mentioned to me that I might have depression as part of my personality. They think this because I always feel at my best when I'm being active/productive (programming) or doing meditation practice. I thought that was strange.
Bit of a brief background, I've had depression since I was about 12 and I still get small bouts of it into my late 20's. I've been on antidepressiants for a very short time and I've been through talk therapy multiple times. It was a lot worse then it is now and I believed I have it under control.
My coworker thinks that I ended up dealing with it for so long that it has become a part of my personality so I don't notice it actively. The whole thing has left me sort of, I don't know, jaded. Or maybe just afraid that it could be true?
I thought about how I have a very all or nothing attitude in life. I don't think about getting a house because I don't put too much faith in myself towards having a family. Or how I have to make very radical changes to my life immediately if something starts triggering the new depressive episode. If I can't code or read at night I'll hope in the car and drive with no destination in mind for several hours just to keep my mind at ease.
I don't know. It sorta upsets me because I always thought of depression as something you need to "get out of", but now I wonder if my case was severe enough that I've adapted my life around it.9
another true story time:
read about banned pokemon episodes on wikipedia
electric soldier porygon: an episode that red blue flashes caused 685 viewers taken to hospitals by ambulances
😈lets try it
write a simple program that makes same light effects
try it on myself
try it on roommates
try to send it as many people i can reach
omg people why don't you die?
gave up after 1 week of unsuccessful attempts4
When you write a detailed story for an offshore dev and still feel like you missed something important.
Rookie me,back when I was making my first Android app...
After a lot of hours put into it, finally finished it...pretty much was ready for deployment...some final touches...but oh wait... I was messing with some files-wanted to delete something and misclicked the whole folder...well my brain farted for a moment and clicked yes-I managed to erase the whole fucking app I was working for months...!
The whole world shut down at that moment! What the fuck did I do?...
In this point I want to thank jetbrains for their magical revert button....
Moral of the story: Learn Git, backup everything and don't be too excited and fuck up tremendously...!
HackerEarth once got hacked or had some other issues idk.
I was solving this hiring challenge. Suddenly when I opened some page, I got logged into someone else's account. I could see all the details of that guy. This happened for couple of times. I was getting randomly logged into someone else's account just by switching the pages.
I got annoyed and stopped the contest. Later, some random guy called me and claimed to be the hacker and he has my details and started reading them to me.
Ok, I knew something was wrong with the site and the details he was reading were basic details which are shown before starting the contest.
Still, I quickly removed my resume from their shite website and uploaded a dummy doc file.
All in all I fucking felt like I should have cut that guy's throat when he was reading my details to me as if he has something on me. I fucking hate such people. If I find this guy ever, I won't mind kicking his ass to death.
And for the hackerearth, you fucking bitches rot in hell with your shit website. I even filled a feedback form putting this guy's phone number and narrating the story to you. I even sent a mail to you. You fuckers care very less to even respond. Assholes!!!
And all those useless companies use hackerearth for the contests. Fucking get a life! Use hackerrank for once.1
Finished my first PC build! Feels good to actually finish a new years resolution lol now I just need to finish my sass framework and get through that udemy python course2
And this broken state(on non-SPA websites) isn't even justified because CSS has never been as powerful as nowadays. So... WTF?
I guess my story is not really cool, but okay, I lost my job as a Digital designer (Yeah, I actually have a bachelor's degree in graphic design, I'm an impostor)
I lost it because I saved enough money to travel to Japan and I wanted to stay at least a month so the company didn't like it. after coming back I got a job as a content editor, I just copied old content from an old website to a new one, basic html and css, not even responsive design, then I got really into it, and bootstrap came along, the company opened a new department "Front End" so I got in, I learnt responsive design and Jquery, really loved it, I went back to Japan for a month and a half, keeping my job, I liked it, but I quit.
I now work as a remote front end and I feel stuck, I'm very comfortable as remote, don't wanna go back to an office, but it seems I'll have to, can't find any opportunities to improve remotely, and I feel like I'm missing what the "cool kids" are doing.4
launched major version today which has been in development nearly 2 years. daily bugfix builds for the next month or so until it's stable as we slowly rollout one cluster at a time. going to be my first time on production bugfix duty. man it feels cool to be a full time software engineer.
Major project, multi million budget, huge business and IT coordination, board level status updates, meeting started back in March 2018 for a Go Live of Aug 2019.
Based on draft requirements (and experience) I request the test environment be built for half of the work. Turns out that no one told Server Eng and they are out of space in both dev and prod until Q2 of 2019. We went from Green to Red because a Service Request.5
Story of a data scientist 😞
Spends 80% of the time trying to identify features, while the rest 20% worrying about identifying the features 😭1
Got a small college assignment based on Java and Cassandra(database). The database shell was running fine. Spent 5 days removing the random java exceptions and working on the basic connectivity, searched everywhere on Stack overflow and other forums for solutions and still no help.
So, I decided to write a program that would print only the output as I knew what would be the output when it will run. Took a screenshot of it and made up a cover story to tell my professor that I did it on a friend's computer.
But while I was taking a screenshot of the Eclipse with code window and output window, some random syntax errors popped up.(but they weren't syntax error).
So I created a new project and copied the pom.xml file and the code into the new one(I tried this one before and it didn't work). And there were no errors. So I took a screenshot of it with output of different file and opened a different file.
But then, don't know what came across my mind and I clicked on run just to see if this works, and it worked fine. And now I'm like.. WTF JUST HAPPENED!!
So I'm helping my vocational school teacher with his Programming class as a graduate. While we were alone and talking about normal stuff (plans for the class and stuff like that), he brought up discord and after that I told him "I really wanna work for them, but I don't wanna move" and he continued to tell me how I have so much potential, how nothing stops me, how I am going far and that I'm going to do a lot. I wanted to legit cry inside because I've always thought the exact opposite of myself and always just thought about living a normal life, with the same dev job, nice home yknow the norm.
Idk man that talk happened in the afternoon today and Im still overwhelmed with the positivity.3
Here is a little Story/Joke:
Once I was doing some work on our sql database and I showed my boss the query I wrote and he then told me that it is way to broad. It does the trick but it searches much more. So he showed me the right query and told me that a database is like a extremely easy to trigger person. So we want to ask only as little as possible to not get the database pissed. Since he told me that, it is now stuck in my brain and I will never forget to optimise my queries :D2
is it bad that it's 3am and the best thing to happen since I woke up yesterday morning is 3 word story on here and I'm staying awake to see where it goes.4
Following this rant\story:
I've finally found a job that I like both from the compensation point of view and the job itself 😁🎉
Can't be more happy.1
So for those of you that remember my fax machine post I have an update!
We where still getting people calling up and making the fax machine ring but Amazon delivered a new fax machine today and it seems to all be working now, no more ringing fax machine!!!
I've been working on a side project for a while(many months) and I'm at my 3rd refactoring and concluded that the greater service I want to achieve the more complex the project become, nothing exceptional, except I feel like doing the effort of an entire team of software developers.
Someone else has/d such a feeling/experience? If yes, I would like to hear your thoughs/story(just curious ;)
Ps: soon I'll reveal some screenshots here :32
That was what we did, but it keeps on throwing tons of errors. In the end, we visited our senior dev. Turns out, the function needs an array and not a json array.
I stopped reading documentations since then. And our senior dev stopped talking to us. Hahahajk
TLDR: I've become what I used to hate (without actually knowing it).
I used to hate large companies and their way of working (bureaucracy and stuff). I always thought that I'd work for start-ups, until I started developing my own stuff after work cause now I have to work 9-5 instead of the 9-inf before. Well, it was nice sharing this. When I started working here I thought I would not be able to handle it. But it seems nice so far.
The moment I knew I wanted to be a dev was very early in life, but I didn't realize it until I had gotten out of high school. My parents gave me my first computer when I was like 8 and it was my grandfather's old Windows 95 PC. I loved to play the Army Men game with the plastic figures like from Toy Story. I also tinkered around and found out how Word and some of the other programs worked. About two years later, I got his old Windows 98 PC. I continued to play around in Windows and discover some nuances of the operating system. My parents had a Windows XP machine at the time and they called me in every time they needed help. I got on their computer from time to time to use the Internet, where I discovered so many cool things. In junior high, we were forced to take a typing course where I honed my typing skills through playing games. I soon was able to easily complete all of the challenges. To understand my persona, you must know that I was bullied throughout elementary and high school. I was "the nerd" of our class and I wore that badge even with all of the negative energy that it came with. I received constant criticism, ridiculed for being intelligent (my paycheck isn't too funny now, is it losers?). I didn't care, though, my mission has and always will be to show them their wrong doing. I actually can't wait to have a reunion just to see how UNSUCCESSFUL they are. My parents didn't like my interest in gaming and technology either, but that's a rant for another day. After junior high, I wasn't exposed to much else until I got to college four years ago, where I took Fundamentals Of Computing. My professor was a true nerd (major Zelda fanatic), and he taught us how to program in Python. I began to love being able to create something literally out of nothing. He opened my eyes to a world where there was order and I could have control in a world where I've never had any control in before. Since then, I've only began to love my profession more and more. This is truly what I was born to do.
Call me a novice, but isn't the point of a user story to be concise, limited in scope and only concerning one purpose? Kind of like a class should only have one responsibility.
This stupid other reviewer developer comes whining at me saying I broke some shit in my user story and that I need to fix it. The weirdest part is that I didn't break anything. I wrote all my tests, they all passed and yep, this guy has the nerve to come and say that I broke other shit. Well genius, if it's OTHER SHIT, then it belongs as a bug in ANOTHER STORY. What the fuck man, seriously.
A few minutes of debugging later, I found out it was someone else who broke some code earlier on a piece that was part of my part of the application.
Why are others so quick to blame? This is unprofessional. OMG I DISCOVERED AN ERROR, YOU'RE PROBABLY THE ONE TO BLAME BECAUSE YOU'RE AN IGNORANT GUY BECAUSE YOUR TITLE IS JUNIOR DEVELOPER!
Companies like these, people, have bad communication. Bad companies.2
I was employed as a Researcher so for three months i basically did nothing but read, document, read, document, read, document. Then one day in a review i was doing a demo that required sql. Three months no coding. Of course I've forgotten. And now, this ass back boss of mine gets surprised because i asked for help on update syntax for sql?!?! Like, come on. I COULD GOOGLE THAT. No big deal. But it was to him. He thought i was incompetent as a software engineer. So hE DECIDED TO JUST RANDOMLY PUT ME IN A DEV TEAM and i was expected to perform as fAst AS THEM while still doing mountains of task on research. Worst part is THEY EVALUATED ME BASED ON THAT PERFORMANCE. AFTER I WORK MY ASS OFF FOR THREE MONTHS AS A RESEARCHER, I GET EVALUATED BADLY BECAUSE I DIDNT MEMORIZE THE UPDATE SYNTAX NGNGNNGGNGNNGNGGNF1
If I was to talk about software, the act of coding is probably the most boring part. But birthing a program can pull from magic, animation, circus, gardening, parenting, woodwork, and a host of arts, trades, and crafts. It is a wonderful creative task that is being sold short by brilliant jerks, one trick fools, and con men.2
My manager wants me to add a caching layer on top of an API in 30 mins. Even to think about which part of the fucked-up system to cache will take more than 2 hours. How is anyone supposed to do it in 30 mins?
I just gave up after about 4 hours. Gonna sleep and start fresh tomorrow. Pretty sure, I'm not gonna finish it tomorrow either.4
Week 1 Day 5 - Week 2 Day 5
"It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop" - Confucius
He had a lot of great quotes but I think that's one every dev who's ever worked on a personal project can get behind. It's been about a week since my last rant so I've got a lot to cover, I got a little busy so my progress has been lacking but I have two days off coming up and I plan on making all my meals ahead of time and turning my phone off to limit distractions.
So far I've worked my way through the first lesion on layouts and getting/editing views by the id. This seems pretty basic once you get comfortable with the topic. I'd like to think this will become second nature once I start to get into the guts of the course. The second lesson started working with internet connectivity and I've just started working through it. A lot doesn't make sense but at the start of the lesson one nothing made sense so I assume it'll all wrap up nicely.
I wanted to publish this two days ago (January 23) but I closed my laptop and forgot all about the rant so now it's two days later and I've made some progress, things are getting easier to understand and I'm liking it. I've also decided to start making something I've always wanted to while I work on android development. I'm going to start making an RPG I've been working on since my sophomore year of high school. I haven't written any code for my game yet but I've got the world development and story air tight. So as an ending statement, I'd like to ask anyone on devRant with game making experience how I should go about structuring my project, and some of the things that aren't going to be easy to find with google searches. I plan on, to the dismay of many other game dev's I've talked to, write it in Java because it's familiar to me and I would probably make a worse game in C++ even though that is the go to language. I'd also like to thank some of you repeat readers for silently encouraging me to keep going just by ++ing my rants every time, JoshBent and Dfox. It's been really nice seeing names pop up every single time.2
13.5 million steps on my little Fitbit Zip named Dino. Long walk last weekend and lost him. Backtracked a mile and found him. So happy. But car had run him over and crushed Dino. So sad.
Carefully operated on him and although his screen (face) was smashed he had one more synch (breath) in him with me holding his little metal prongs.
Gave him a little funeral. He will forever have a cherished spot in my sock drawer.
I went to the Fitbit store and Sally his little sister was born to carry on his legacy.
Getting back on track is so difficult man .😅
I've almost spent a week procrastinating and crying that I can't do coding coz I'm sick .,while I watched movies 😂
So today I'm gonna stop this snowball effect (which I thought yesterday and the day before)
For an exam we have to develop an app starting from the documentation (still the hardest part), like risk plain, timing projection ecc. we did all this stuff in time, except for the app. At the ending of time the professor ask to us how the app was going, and well... we bluffed, we said that we only need more time (at that point we have only installed Android Studio and JFK) but the prof give us an other month for the app, so we decide (me and my friend because in my team (4students) only 2 of us want to do something.. btw we learn how to work on Android Studio an develop a ugly, tiny but working app (the app consists in a remainder for your pet stuff like give it food,water or take it out ecc..). We took the max vote -1 because u know, timing is important ;) and yes, this is the story of my first, ugly, app :D My friend an I are so proud of that tiny shit 😄1
It`s better to have an error than to have your app run but not working as wanted. Like in games, you know you`re on the right path if enemies show up, like the errors here.
When I was creating pixel art creator program and each pixel was an separated object, performance was horrible, and after 2 days of intensive thinking I figured it out. I made working canvas. Ram usage dropped by 1800% and speed increased by 40000%. My satisfaction was unimaginable.3
Note: In this rant I will ask for advices, and confess some sins. I will tell my personal story- it will be long.
So basically it has been almost 2 years since I first entered the world of software development. It has been the biggest and most important quest of my life so far, but yet I feel like I missed a lot of my objectives, and lots of stuff did not go the way I wanted them to be, and it makes feel frustrated and it lowered my self esteem greatly. I feel confused and a bit depressed, and don't know what to do.
I'll start: I'm 23 years old. 2 years ago I was still a soldier(where I live there is a forced conscription law) in a sysadmin/security role. I grew tired of the ops world and got drawn more and more into programming. A tremendous passion became to burn in me, as I began to write small programs in Python and shell scripts. I wanted to level up more seriously so I started reading programming books and got myself into a 10 month Java course.
In the meanwhile I got released from army duty and got a job as a security sysadmin at a large local telco company. Job was boring and unchallenging but it payed well. I had worked there for 1 year and at the same time learned more and more stuff from 2 best friends who have been freelance developers for years. I have learned how to build full-stack mobile apps and some webdev, mainly Android and Node.js. However because I was very inexperienced and lacked discipline, all of my side projects failed horribly, and all attempts to work with my experienced friends have failed too- I feel they lost a lot of trust for me(they don't say it, but I feel it, maybe I'm wrong).
I began to realise I had to leave this job and seek a developer job in order to get better, and my wish came true 6 months ago when I finally got accepted into a startup as a fullstack webdev, for a bit lower wage but I felt it was worth it. I was overjoyed.
But now my old problems did not end, they just changed. My new job is a thousand times harder and more intensive than the old one. I feel like it sucks all the energy and motivation that was still left in me, and I have learned almost nothing in my free time, returning home exhausted. My bosses are not impressed from my work despite me being pretty junior level, and I feel like I'm in a vicious cycle that keeps me from advancing my abilities. My developer friends I mentioned earlier have jobs like I do and still manage to develop very impressive side projects and even make a nice sum of money from them, while I can't even concetrate on stupid toy projects and learning.
I don't know why It is like this. I feel pathetic and ashamed of my developer sins and lack of discipline. During that time I also gained some weight that I'm trying t lose now... I know not all of it is my fault but it makes me feel like crap.
Sorry for the long story. I just feel I need to spill it out and hope to get some advices from you guys who may or may not have similar experiences. Thanks in advance for reading this.2
Do any body have turned their phones into gray scale mode?
Completely cured my addition for smartphones.#TrueStory3
Let's create a story ....
It was a normal day at the office, I had my headphones on and doing my coding, when suddenly the main office door blew up and smoke grenades where thrown in, I had to decide ...9
Back in the day, I thought the stuff for the avatar was an allowance system; you could only get things that totaled to your level of ++ but not beyond it.2
So I have a friend who was part of a QA team in a large multinational company a few years back in, let's call it city X. There was this absolutely useless guy on the same team as him, didn't have a clue what was going on, gave everybody headaches, wrote sloppy buggy code, constantly fucking things up. You know the type, eventually he ended up getting fured/let go, whatever way you want to put it due to poor performance. All was well again.
My friend moved on to bigger and better things and moved cities, a few years after he was back in city X, out having a few drinks with friends, he just so happened to bump into the guy from his old company that got fired and started talking to him, as he was a nice guy, just a useless programmer/coworker. After a bit of small talk my friend asked where he was working now. He response: "oh I work with an air traffic control systems manufacturer as a developer"5
I was building a super simple Laravel app for a client (forms APIs stuff)
For the frontend I used jQuery cuz why overkill it with react.
Now the sad part:
The app makes ajax calls to fetch the data from the database and update the view according. The code is very well written and the call is so quick that in a blink of an eye the data is processed from the controller and sent to the view -_-
Because the user doesn't gets to see what the fuck just happened when they clicked the action button, I had to add a setTimeout function before the Ajax call to slow down the process by 2000ms and added a freakin spinner.
I feel very sad when I can't show how awesome apps I can build but,
I killed my ego for the UX.
This was my sacrifice.
Anyone faced similar shits?3
This is a follow up rant to "my little story"
I have a much better relationship with my family.
Additionally, I am teaching my mother to use Linux, every day she gets better and better :)
In the end, it's a story with a happy ending. I feel good, I feel stronger!
P.S. I have changed, I still struggle to show emotions as I don't want to get hurt.2
Fun story, I keep discovering new ways of being shameless.
I had been once caught of basically giving my assignment (not one of my brightest moments)for a course to a friend and surprise surprise the instructor did take disciplinary action but he was a bit pissed so infact, he called out for a viva for all the assignments.
The Vivas went fine but immediately after I was done I was like "sir so I'm having a bit of trouble in this next assignment I was wondering if you could help me out" 😂 I have no clue what I was thinking nor was I proud of that.
Kudos to the instructor tho who calmly responded and actually helped me out with it.
Also due to some policy the action could not go ahead so yea guess things turned out fine. Im now hoping to see if he can keep me as an RA. Again, yes why am I like this. Good instructor tho.
Facing my biggest challenge this Friday already failed at it 4 times and this time is the one make it or break it2
Seventeen. I worked for 17 hours to pull off a POC of a feature no one thought was possible (at that time). It wasn't clean beautiful code, but hey, it worked! It's live now and I still smile when the feature is used.
Why the hell do some teams use story points on bugs? I mean, there's a reason why they're called STORY points 😯
My little journey of regrets:
I remember when I was fourteen, I opened a small gap the door of "programming". It were the first steps of html, tags and what they do, to be precise.
"May, looks good. Thanks for the glimpse. Cya"
For about the other half of my life only magic happened at my desktop.
And now I'm standing once again at the door of programming trying to breach it with nukes n shit.
"Giev me all the knowledge plx, teach me senpai! I will never ignore and betray you again!"
Started by seeing an example of script in Batch and trying to recreate it, then I learned HTML, some CSS and JS and made HTA programs, then a little Visual Basic because I liked the idea of desining your own GUI in Visual Studio so easily, then I started High School and forgot almost all I learned. Sad story...
Well my last job was nothing but a call center with AT&T, but I will tell the story of how I got my current job which is also my first job as a developer.
I was living in Texas. I just moved out of a house I was renting and my girlfriend at the time moved back to Missouri and she was about 5 months pregnant.
She wanted us to all be in Missouri because that's where her family is. No big deal for me, but we didn't have a place to stay yet in Missouri and it was difficult to find a job in a city that has very little to offer in what I do, and of course, wants experienced people despite what said they were looking for.
For 5 months I kept looking for a job while I stayed with my parents and worked at the call center and she with her mom and stepdad so I could save up to not only make the trip to Missouri but to be able to make a payment on a place which we were also having trouble finding.
Even if I didn't have a job or if we didn't find a place, I was not going to miss the birth of my child. So, within about 3 weeks of her due date, it was time for me to make the trip to Missouri. I still haven't found a job but at least we were going to have a place ready for my child within the week. With all the money I saved, we could get through a couple of months of rent, bills and necessities, but still needed to find work.
After only a week after we got the place, I almost gave up so I started to apply at restaurants as a backup after I found a couple more places. The restaurants were quick to respond and I had interviews scheduled for the week that I applied. I knew I was going to be miserable working at a restaurant, but I needed a job, any job. As a last attempt, the day before my first interview with one restaurant, I found a new posting for an entry level position early in the morning. I quickly sent in my resume but didn't expect anything until weeks later. It only took a few hours for a reply and he wondered if we could do a phone interview. I said yes, of course. After the interview, he said that he had one more person to interview but he would let me know. I thought, great, there goes my chance. After only an hour of waiting, while I was looking for more places to apply, he calls me back saying that he wants to hire me. Immediately after I got the job I cancel my other interviews and I started the next day.
It was great I got the job, but it was a far drive. However, they did offer telecommuting, but I had to come in every day until they felt I understood their work flow. I did inform my boss that my son would be born really soon but he was okay with letting me take off when it was time.
I started on a Wednesday in May of 2014 and made the 1.5 hour drive every day. After only working 10 days, my girlfriend calls me at work saying that it's time for the baby to come but it would be a while so I could finish my shift and then come straight to the hospital.
I get there but still no baby. It was a long labor which ended up in C-section at 4 in the morning the next day. My son was finally born on a Wednesday and it was the greatest thing in my life.
But now, I am a single dad(about a year now and it was mutual) and I am the only developer as of a couple of weeks ago. Despite how they handle things and my annoying coworker that sits next to me which I have ranted about in a previous posts, I do enjoy working there trying to improve and move the company forward. After all, I work from home 3 days out of the week now. The rants will still come lol.
Sorry for the mood kill at the end but that's my story. 😁
I started working for a forex company as a web developer, designer and also a online marketer, so when i was doing the designing part the boss of mine became very happy as he can see the results of my work.
But from few days I was doing the backend part and fixing some security flaws. Today i recieved a message saying that if you are not capable or free to do the work i will hire someone else for the work.
Working under people who doesn't know difference between http and https sucks.
So going thru my facebook memories, ive been seeing all these old posts where I come up with ideas for various jewish websites and apps, since for some reason the entirety of mainstream jewish media and leadership seems to be completely out of touch with youth culture and, well, they just all suck. Anyway all my posts end with "someone should create this"
Now i have so many great ideas to work on and practice on 😇😇😇 I honestly LOVE coding so much, its given me such a vast new creative outlet!!!!
For my final project of first year at middle school (that's before university), I had to make a experiment and measured it using a circuit connected to the computer. At the end I couldn't finish but I made a program for explain what the circuit (expected) did using one of the Microsoft Office's assistant (Merlin the wizard), Merlin moved around the screen talking about the experiment and what the circuit measured it over and over, almost forgotten to tell I had to show it in a science festival to anybody who came at school, none asked about the experiment or the circuit, all the questions was about how I made the program, how the program could speech in spanish and explain the experiment.
At the begining of that day I was so nervous, but at the end I could say fuck yeah.
And the program was a macro in Basic with text to speech of a Loquendo like voice, I only record the movements and put the text.
That's one of the reason of I like programming, it save it my ass.
That was more than ten years ago, I didn't have a computer only at the school, internet not was so common.
Well if high school kids are already here asking for career advice be sure as hell your boss is too 👻
Let's talk about today's Silicon Valley season 5 finale.
I think it's the best one so far. Season 2 finale comes after.4
One letter story:
This is going to be weird--do it and we'll see how far we can go without going completely insane.
Whitespaces is one single comment, so is symbols such as the period sign. Be creative--use ampersands and quick way of writing longer things.
The rest of the rules go the same as for my previous rant. I'll write the first comment, then we COMMENT THE FUCKING SHIT OUT OF THIS GOD DAMN FUCKING RANT!17
So I'm working on some communications app which bridges the main server/database with some equipment on the field. Now this equipment works in a redundancy pair: two cpus, A and B, both connected via ethernet, one active, the other standby/replicating and no comms on it. One obvious requirement is that when this equipment swaps the active cpus the comms app should switch as well. Fair enough, going with this into testing phase.
This guy, from qa, got some instructions from someone else:
1. Trigger the soft switch from equipment so that cpus got swapped.
2. Remove the ethernet cable from the standby unit.
3. Observe the communications.
And the test goes like: cpu A is active, B is standby. Switch is triggered, B becomes active, A goes into standby. The cable is pulled out from cpu B.
Test result: failed, no comms ever4
just a little pool here, do you, yes, you, do you think an inexperienced intern should take an epic story?
(not that there we work with agile, that would be great, but it's a task equivalent to an epic.)2
A: oh hey my commit is not in the master branch...
A: *seeing bunch of commit deleted activity in bitbucket by B
A: Lol B deleted commits in master branch
B: Wait, what?! I know I have rebased my branch.. but never have I rebased anything in the master branch.. how can this be *intense breathing
B: Are you sure you have pushed yours to master?
A: Sure I've rebased, squashed, and rbt landed my work to master, here look my local master has my commit
CTO: wait what? Is this related to this bug we have in production just now? Please don't panic, let us resolve it
Turns out rbt land just squash your commit to your local master branch and they thus A have not pushed it to the remote. And the bunch of commit deleted activity were bitbucket not informing from which branch the activity was happening. Almost gave us heart attack.
I never thought that my usual lunch buddies/co-interns leaving would cause me to have a hard time coping up. I'm very unproductive these past three days. I feel so sad.
True story: We had once a project where the manager tells the client we are using the Waterfall but internally the devs are actually doing Agile. >_<1
Why did you want to become a programmer? Spending alot of my Teenage years on online games I always had a fascination for those 1337 haxxors that just appeared, did some awesome neverseen stuff and sometimes suddenly disappeared, never came back and became urban legends ("I heard h4xor1337 got caught by the FBI"..."I heard he was a CIA Hacker".."He was from Russia").. I started universe, picked some C/C++ Tutorials and 3 years later I am a freelancing Android developer . Today I am Downloading the source code of that old mmorpg (which is still played by alot of people , especially in the private Server scene) to practice my C++
Today I was going to wipe an server used for testing purposes, I thought that all vms are just tests that has been left over from restored backups.
Was in the raid controller configuration ready to format the drives an couple of menu navigation away, a colleague came looking for me and said an website was not working, strange...
Turns out that one VM responsible for hosting our internal websites was on that machine
Do you know the "Boobs Bonus"?
For example, in an IT School, if your project group have at least a girl, your group have some bonus points on your notation ... I hate this for many reasons 😡!!!
Teachers deny & hide this fact because it's now a "tradition"2
Anybody got junior dev motivational stories?
I got into development from sysadmin'ing about a year ago with a course. Finished it 3 months ago and self-learning ever since.
I find it so hard to do complex stuff by my own and I find myself learning too much from tutorials and working too little.
Remember report a bug? Once I had a guy report a cockroach he saw in his kitchen that morning 😂😂 people are great1
Dev && story
So i joined this new company where i was hired as an intern, pretty cool stuff as i am still in college and getting paid.
I was selected to be in iOS development
Although i didn't have any previous experience, i was surviving,
To the main point ->
My team had 3 devs, 2 senior and one that has joined just 6 months back,
So after joining now, 2 senior devs have left, leaving just the 2 of us - 1 intern,1dev
The pressure is real!
Will keep u guys updated
Honest question, if you work in an agile environment, do you prefer story points or counting of hours to gauge tasks?4
This is my story.
So, as you know, I'm a developer and so does all of you, but before I know about devRant, I was stuck with Instagram.
Yup, I was stuck with those instagram memes who was made by those social media manager who doesn't know shit about coding and post shitty memes anyway with those #memes #codingmemes #coding #codememes and all that fucking annoying hashtags.
I hate it. I was stuck with it for two years but thank god for the people who told me about this app.
I love it, but, there is some problems. As you may know this social media was created by developers for developers, and I know that this app users is very supportive for other users because of the same profession, but what if non-devs people found out about this app and start doing job offers and spamming at our feeds.
What could we do?6
this.rantType != RantType.RANT;
Hey, i do not want to spam DevRant with non dev stuff, but i really want to ask this you, i personally cant only code all time, im coding full time and a lot in my free time, but i just cant only code.
So i found another thing that i fell in love with, i fell in love with animal photography!!
I want to ask you, yes you reading this: do you need something else than coding or not? and if you do, what? let me know with a simple comment!6
So today at English lessons (i'm not native speaker) we started this "unit" which is about technology. We were having a discussion everything went pretty ok but then the teacher just started having stupid points. It all began with "oh but computer can't be smarter than the people... Because people programm the computer and they have to code all those things " This was the part where i started being triggered and since i'm very introverted i couldn't argue with her. Luckily my classmate told her about machine learning and AI but she didn't quite understand it. So the topic changed a bit and we talked about technology in medicine etc. but then we somehow started talking about chat bots. Somebody said that they are really stupid because they don't even make sense (i bet they were talking about the stupidest chat bot i have ever seen created by someone from my country who just repeats the same 5-6 sentences). She again started to talk "Well you know they can't make sense because the programmers have to write answer for each sentence they can think of (so basically endless if/else if statement) at this point i had to say something BUT she didn't see my hand and just changed the topic. Now I feel bad for her because she will never know the truth. Forever uneducated in this area. :/1
First Android app in University. Actually it was a calendar application that was really shitty in the end because I wasnt confident with different layouts which led to big problems and performance issues later on. But its sth I can talk about in interviews until today if the interviewer asks me, which situation was really important to me as a programmer.
I remember the first class of C. The teacher show us a blue screen with white text called BorlandC. Was like a BSD that can be edited.
Old times (very old)
I have a Question ✋
Scenario : We are the offshore team. Asked to add a feature similar to other product. I added the feature in product, created necessary database to store the data. Later Manager started barking how my code isnt similar to the one he asked for me to do. I explained to him, my way is better for, database is optimized and is simpler. Later had to redo his way.
Question : How often do you come to situation like this? How would you have handled it? 🤔
Extra : Share if you have similar story.3