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The first time I realized I wasn't as good as I thought I was when I met the smartest dev I've ever known (to this day).
I was hired to manage his team but was just immediately floored by the sheer knowledge and skills this guy displayed.
I started to wonder why they hired outside of the team instead of promoting him when I found that he just didn't mesh well with others.
He was very blunt about everything he says. Especially when it comes to code reviews. Man, he did /not/ mince words. And, of course, everyone took this as him just being an asshole.
But being an expert asshole myself, I could tell he wasn't really trying to be one and he was just quirky. He was really good and I really liked hanging out with him. I learned A LOT of things.
Can you imagine coming into a lead position, with years of experience in the role backing your confidence and then be told that your code is bad and then, systematically, very precisely, and very clearly be told why? That shit is humbling.
But it was the good kind of humbling, you know? I really liked that I had someone who could actually teach me new things.
So we hung out a lot and later on I got to meet his daughter and wife who told me that he had slight autism which is why he talked the way he did. He simply doesn't know how to talk any other way.
I explained it to the rest of the team (after getting permission) and once they understood that they started to take his criticism more seriously. He also started to learn to be less harsh with his words.
We developed some really nice friendships and our team was becoming a little family.
Year and a half later I had to leave the company for personal reasons. But before I did I convinced our boss to get him to replace me. The team was behind him now and he easily handled it like a pro.
That was 5 years ago. I moved out of the city, moved back, and got a job at another company.
Four months ago, he called me up and said he had three reasons for us to meet up.
1. He was making me god father of his new baby boy
2. That they created a new position for him at the company; VP of Engineering
and
3. He wanted to hang out
So we did and turns out he had a 4th reason; He had a nice job offer for me.
I'm telling this story now because I wanted to remind everyone of the lesson that every mainstream anime tells us:
Never underestimate the power of friendship.21 -
Want to read a horror story?
Number of computers
1900: 0
1950: 100
1980: 10000
1990: 1000000
2000: 1000000000
2010: 1000000000000000000
2020: 1
2030: 1
2040: 1
2050: 125 -
Someone, I have no idea who, commented on my personal project that he wanted to pick up one of the issues.
Then, he followed through and fixed it and sent a PR.
Feels good man.4 -
Sharing a short story.
Time: 1:30 am
Conversation between me and a night watchman in my society.
I was walking and this watchman suddenly stopped me and started asking questions.
Watchman: Isn't it late at 1:30am. When do u sleep?
Me: I sleep very late (replied in a very uninterested manner)
Watchman: Which year are you?
Me: Final year of Graduation
Watchman: Which branch?
Me: (a bit annoyed now) Software Engineering
Watchman: So you know programming?
Me: (little shocked that he knows what's programming) Learning
Watchman: So, do your university teaches C, Python and UNIX?
Me:(completely shocked by his knowledge) Yup. Except UNIX, others yes.
Watchman then asked some fees related questions and placements scope.
I was annoyed when he approached me for a little talk.. But had a wonderful experience talking to this person. It's great when you meet such unexpected person having such knowledge.
When I asked him how he knows all these, he said he talks like this to many students and learnt it.
His last line to me when I said that you know a lot, was:
Sir, you are the ocean, I am a needle in it.
Truly awesome moment... Never judge anyone by looks or his occupation... Knowledge is something that anyone anywhere can gain...
Respect to that watchman...5 -
Lol, Microsoft finally gave up on Edge, and will go with a spin based on Chromium.
https://m.windowscentral.com/micros...
🤣 I was right when I said that Chrome is going to be the next internet explorer55 -
Sister = bee ( who isn't a stranger to Ubuntu)
Me = Cee
Bee: can I use your laptop?
Cee : why ? Use yours ,it's works fine.
Bee : no I want to use yours and I need to work with windows.
Cee: 🤯
Bee : my work can only be done using windows.
Cee : fine do whatever ( doesn't want to argue )
* Le bee opens MS word, and starts her work *
Cee : 😤😤Seriously?
Bee : I don't like libre
Cee : 😑😑😑^∞
* Few moments later *
Bee : my work is done ,you can have your laptop,btw it's updating.
Cee : 😑😑😑😑😑
* 2000 years later *
*Opens Ubuntu *
*Getting a weird bug*
*Tried to fix *
*Can't open OS files * 👏👏👏🎆
* Windows not shutdown properly *
* Opens windows *
* Not able to login via pin *
* Password ? not accepted *
* Changes outlook password *
* Please chose a password you haven't chosen before *
* Logs in *
* types old pin to change pin *
*You've entered wrong pin too many times *
*System hanging a lot *
* Removes pin *
* Gets huge mcAfee restart system popups , every 10 sec *
* Just shutdown , feels irritated for the rest of the day*
* Regrets dual booting, shd have wiped the windows partition 😫😫*
*Wonders,what the hell did my sister even do to my laptop ?*72 -
"Make the feature more useful."
Please write a user story. It's hard to determine what you want.
"As Sales Agent I would like the <feature> to be extended so it's more useful to me."
(ノಥ,_｣ಥ)ノ彡┻━┻3 -
My freelancing horror story?
I remember like it was yesterday. It was late at night and I was doing some freelancing. (You know... the good stuff...)
All of a sudden the light began flickering, it got really cold and I felt like something was watching me!
OMG! SOMETHING JUST TOUCHED MY SHOULDER! I TURN AROUND AND...
...nothing. Nobody was there.
"I really need some sleep", I think to myself and turn back to my monitor.
Wait a second, what's that?
"10%..."
"20%..."
"60%..."
Oh my god...
How could this happen to me?
Those bastards got me after all!
I just witnessed...
A WINDOWS UPDATE!!!
The end~
______________________________
I don't feel responsible for pants that need to be washed now.26 -
Story time!
My exboyfriend used to code in php 5. It’s his favourite programming language, and I hardly teached him how to code in Python.
One day, I said to him: Hey schatz, let’s go to the sex shop ...
He: Oh yeah 😏
Me: ... and buy an elephant thong 😁
He: What?!
Me: Yes, a blue elephant thong for Php
Me laughed
Me: So?
He: No way!
Me: Please!!!!!
He: Ok. I’m working at a cultural events web page. When I got my first client, we’ll go to the sex shop and buy the “php thong”.
Well... I broke up with him before we could go to the sex shop 💔😂😭( for another reasons, not for the php thong, obviously)
Do you have any funny story like this?
28 -
So i was working with a small company which were developing software for insurance sector. It was decided then that there should be an app for windows phone community and i was hired to that job.
It took me almost a month to finish the job. Please keep in mind that project was huge and already developed for android counterpart and was a hit in market. This was a chance given to me to prove myself and i proved it.
First month was fantastic for the company as software the company made was not available for windows phone. Price has been set for the software was higher in those time. Almost $15.
Excited by the success i added some more features which were not available on android counter part.
But price was very high. Even i asked management to drop the price because there were less windows phone user but no body listened.
Result : in a year app has made roughly 5000 download in which only 200 paid the actual price. Company asked me to take down the app from store. I was blamed for my over confidence in adding features that this made app less usable. They did not say a word to business managment team. I was fired.
Rough, cruel world.
6 month ago i published my app for same purpose with same feature set and different UI. And made it free. Completely free. Added a link to pay developer $0.5 or Rs 30.
Result: i have now 10 thousands plus download in last 4 month in which almost 3000 users have donated already.
Now i have my resource and my confidence and making an android app for same purpose.
This is my story and is not fake, i am 28 years old. If you think you can, you can.
Amen.4 -
Today is a sad day.
A sad day indeed.
I used to live with my parents for pretty much my whole life until the beginning of this year, when I decided to move and starter living with a friend, in his apartment.
By far, one of the things that I've missed most from my parents' house was the dogs. Boy, I love those four pretty little creatures.
Being a fulltime developer in an area that I honestly don't like that much, I really appreciate my after-work hours. Specially because of the time I could spend with the dogs.
So, the first months away were quite hard. Even though I was living with a friend, I couldn't help but feel alone and really depressed at times.
But then, my friend and my girlfriend decided that it was a nice idea to give me something to grow with again. And Jolyne, my beautiful, smart and messy little dog came to the apartment.
Boy oh boy, my bright days were back.
Getting home and seeing those four small legs and a shaking tail running on my direction was everything I could ask for. I was happy again.
Fast-forward to today.
I finally finished the code for a project I was working on. Everything was working fine. A good day indeed, good sir. Have one on me. - then my friend called me, which is weird considering we almost only talk through Telegram during the day.
All he had to say, with a sad voice and painful tone, was "man... I don't know how to tell you this... But Jolyne is dead".
And that was it. Every good feeling I had was now dead. And a part of me as well.
I stood there, speechless. I mean, I just couldn't believe what I've just heard. She was happy by the morning. We were playing before I left for work. Everything was fine.
Then, four hours later, it wasn't. She was gone.
I came home to a friend that didn't have any more tears to shed. And no dog came running to me like usual.
My fluffy little friend was laying on her bed, like she was sleeping normally. Like nothing had happened at all. She was just sleeping and have not noticed me... At least that was what I wanted to believe.
Three hours had passed then... And I just can't fathom the fact that my dog won't be here anymore. That I won't be able to play with her again like I do every night. That I won't listen to her running around with her toys. That I won't be able to hug her anymore.
I still don't know what to do. I mean, she will be buried. I've already arranged everything.
But I don't know what to do about myself. I don't know how to deal with this pain I'm feeling.
But I will try to move on... I just don't know how.
I'm deeply sorry for bringing you this story. For just writing it down here, like you guys need to share my pain...
But I needed to write this down somewhere. And this place is pretty much the only one where I feel comfortable and welcome enough to do this.
Thank you for your time, my friends.
Thank you.27 -
Today is my birthday (25) 🎂.
Also I'm in the hospital because I had a seizure due to my body not capting phosphorus, it was so violent that I apparently damaged 3 vertebrae, sorry I didn't mean to write a sob story but am in dire need of support and I wanted to thank the community for being there.22 -
A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he’s lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"
The man below says: "Yes. You're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."
"You must work in Information Technology," says the balloonist.
"I do" replies the man. "How did you know?"
"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but It's of no use to anyone."
The man below replies, "You must work in management."
"I do," replies the balloonist, "But how'd you know?"*
"Well", says the man, "you don’t know where you are or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault."1 -
Would you like to smile for 10 seconds? Read this short story:
*Story begins*
During World War II, numerous fighter planes were getting hit by anti-aircraft guns. Air Force officers wanted to add some protective armour/shield to the planes.
The question was "where"?
The planes could only support few more kilos of weight. Mathematicians were called for a short consulting project.
Fighter planes returning from missions were analysed for bullet holes per square foot.
They found 1.93 bullet holes/sq. foot near the tail of planes whereas only 1.11 bullet holes/sq. foot close to the engine.
The officers thought that since the tail portion had the greatest density of bullets, it would be the logical location for putting an anti-bullet shield.
A mathematician said exactly the opposite; more protection is needed where the bullet holes aren't - that is -around the engines.
His judgement surprised everyone. He said "He said We are counting the planes that returned from a mission. Planes with lots of bullet holes in the engine did not return at all".
Moral: Not everything that counts can be counted, and not everything that can be counted, counts.
Source: From the book -
"How Not To Be Wrong", by Jordan Ellenberg.4 -
And then there was this big review...
DEVs:" this bug is hazardous and needs to be fixed quickly! It could crash a productive system completely!"
CTO and DEV teamlead:" shut up! This big exists more than two years! No customer will ever klick this button!"
--exactly twelve hours later--
Customer:"so we clicked on this button and our system crashed! Can you help us quickly? We are losing money!!!"
CTO in the meeting:"who programmed this shit? Are you insane?"
Teamlead:"you are useless !!"5 -
Year 2200, somewhere unknown. A robot drone flies above a now destroyed city. As it slowly descends down, it finds it's way into a building. In the rubble, a monitor is still flashing. The drone moves toward the monitor. After few minutes of analysis, drone releases a connector from it's belly. It connects to CPU nearby. After scanning the system for another few minutes, it's apparent the system was not the new OS which the Government released and Mandated. Rather, a prehistoric OS which legends spoke in hushed tones. An OS so powerful, which controlled then millions of computers.
Like the story so far? Should I continue?9 -
My favorite IT story (not mine) is that the server needed to be rebooted whenever it froze completely. The best solution? Get an old PC that had a CD drive, and every time it loses connection to the server, eject the CD tray which had a poking stick attached that hits the reset button.3
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Story time :
Sometime ago I posted a video on YouTube on how to root a particular phone that was lying around at home. I was trying to demonstrate one of those "one-tap root" apps that were plentiful in the market. It so happened that one specific version of Framaroot and one particular method of exploit works for that device. I even verified this by trying different versions and it didn't work. So in the description it was mentioned to use ONLY this version that worked. Few days later there were atleast 5 dislikes and comments that it didn't work on some other version.
Seriously?
That's how I understood how stupid and dumb people can get.7 -
I’m back at devRant.
I was active few years back.
What made me comeback is me deciding to delete social media apps in my main phone.
The reason for deleting is that some topics/post/feed triggers a painful experience I had this year.
The painful experience is my wife cheated on me.
I’m not here for pity.
I just want to let the married ones know here that it’s not all about coding or work.
You should also try to keep the fire burning with your significant other.
Else someone comes by and will keep that fire lit.5 -
It's enough. I have to quit my job.
December last year I've started working for a company doing finance. Since it was a serious-sounding field, I tought I'd be better off than with my previous employer. Which was kinda the family-agency where you can do pretty much anything you want without any real concequences, nor structures. I liked it, but the professionalism was missing.
Turns out, they do operate more professionally, but the intern mood and commitment is awful. They all pretty much bash on eachother. And the root cause of this and why it will stay like this is simply the Project Lead.
The plan was that I was positioned as glue between Design/UX and Backend to then make the best Frontend for the situation. Since that is somewhat new and has the most potential to get better. Beside, this is what the customer sees everyday.
After just two months, an retrospective and a hell lot of communication with co-workers, I've decided that there is no other way other than to leave.
I had a weekly productivity of 60h+ (work and private, sometimes up to 80h). I had no problems with that, I was happy to work, but since working in this company, my weekly productivity dropped to 25~30h. Not only can I not work for a whole proper work-week, this time still includes private projects. So in hindsight, I efficiently work less than 20h for my actual job.
The Product lead just wants feature on top of feature, our customers don't want to pay concepts, but also won't give us exact specifications on what they want.
Refactoring is forbidden since we get to many issues/bugs on a daily basis so we won't get time.
An re-design is forbidden because that would mean that all Screens have to be re-designed.
The product should be responsive, but none of the components feel finished on Desktop - don't talk about mobile, it doesn't exist.
The Designer next to me has to make 200+ Screens for Desktop and Mobile JUST so we can change the primary colors for an potential new customer, nothing more. Remember that we don't have responsiveness? Guess what, that should be purposely included on the Designs (and it looks awful).
I may hate PHP, but I can still work with it. But not here, this is worse then any ecommerce. I have to fix legacy backend code that has no test coverage. But I haven't touched php for 4 years, letalone wrote sql (I hate it). There should be no reason whatsoever to let me do this kind of work, as FRONTEND ARCHITECT.
After an (short) analysis of the Frontend, I conclude that it is required to be rewritten to 90%. There have been no performance checks for the Client/UI, therefor not only the components behave badly, but the whole system is slow as FUCK! Back in my days I wrote jQuery, but even that shit was faster than the architecuture of this React Multi-instance app. Nothing is shared, most of the AppState correlate to other instances.
The Backend. Oh boy. Not only do we use an shitty outated open-source project with tons of XSS possibillities as base, no we clone that shit and COPY OUR SOURCES ON TOP. But since these people also don't want to write SQL, they tought using Symfony as base on top of the base would be an good idea.
Generally speaking (and done right), this is true. but not then there will be no time and not properly checked. As I said I'm working on Legacy code. And the more I look into it, the more Bugs I find. Nothing too bad, but it's still a bad sign why the webservices are buggy in general. And therefor, the buggyness has to travel into the frontend.
And now the last goodies:
- Composer itself is commited to the repo (the fucking .phar!)
- Deployments never work and every release is done manually
- We commit an "_TRASH" folder
- There is an secret ongoing refactoring in the root of the Project called "_REFACTORING" (right, no branches)
- I cannot test locally, nor have just the Frontend locally connected to the Staging webservices
- I am required to upload my sources I write to an in-house server that get's shared with the other coworkers
- This is the only Linux server here and all of the permissions are fucked up
- We don't have versions, nor builds, we use the current Date as build number, but nothing simple to read, nonono. It's has to be an german Date, with only numbers and has always to end with "00"
- They take security "super serious" but disable the abillity to unlock your device with your fingerprint sensor ON PURPOSE
My brain hurts, maybe I'll post more on this shit fucking cuntfuck company. Sorry to be rude, but this triggers me sooo much!2 -
my story so far
Hey guys. i just wantes to share my story becoming something i think is like a dev.
I was always interested in solving problems. my grandfather has a company with a bit over a 100 employees. one day i decided to start working there. he needed someone to build up the erp system (mostly maintenance). about a month after i started he decided to get a new erp system because the one he had would not fill his needs. not knowing how big this got i told him that i want to build it up. from getting the orders over production with machines to billing.
he agreed. after a short time we knew that even this new system does not fullfill our needs. but it was so damn expensive. i told my grandfather: trust me, i am handling this. no further costs. and i started to learn programming. i learned night and day (visual basics.net, sql, c#). since then i wrote about 8 additional modules for the system in coorperation with the users. today, 3 years later we are far ahead our market in terms of transparency and information flow. i worked very hard for this and it is a great feeling to see that the things i do help my colleagues and are used.
i never learned this stuff in school and i know that i cannot tell that i am a professional programmer.
but when someone asks me i tell them i am a programmer because my solutions work and i think i deserve to call me that.
thanks for reading :)4 -
Did I every tell you about that time I scared a boss (not mine, he was in the room) so much, that he was to scared to enter my office for the next couple of weeks? 😅
Good times 😊
Tl;dr: He was the reason I was working at max capacity and then he started complaining that shit wasn't working.
Full story:
I was out of office, building up a new site. I was the only IT working that day, others were out on vacation.
Suddenly I start getting flooded with calls from other sites, that nothing works. It is so bad, that my boss can't reach me on the company phone, so he calls me on my private phone.
Apparently all the servers are down.
So me into a taxi, heading for the main office.
When I get there I just start booting the servers on by one, because they didn't like that they had lost power. While I'm working, my boss is standing there, ready to help.
Another boss enters the office and goes: "I can't access Navision". To which I quickly reply something like: "Well everything is down, I'm the only one who can fix it and I'm working as fast as I can".
Two weeks later, another employee tells me, that the other boss has been running all his equipment off a battery backup, since the failure, because his power cord failed. He spilled a cup of coffee on it and therefore was the reason, that all the servers lost power (bad setup, I know). And apparently I was so frightening that he didn't have the courage to ask for a new power cord 😂
Best thing was that my boss never stopped me or told me that I did something wrong.2 -
Computer Science Teacher: everyone do a route in PowerPoint
Me: Can I do it in HTML + Leaflet?
CST: Yes, but it would be easier to do in PowerPoint.
-- trim --
* opens up Glitch *
* creates new project *
* imports Leaflet *
* connects OSMs *
* connects Google Maps thru GoogleMutant *
-- trim of interesting story how I copypaste coordinates from Google Maps into polyline with my grandma telling me where anyting is (our village is poorly mapped) --
Me: thank grandma
* project finally done *
-- the following day --
Nobody did the map with a route
Me: yay
* shows map *
* a bully asks what app I used to make it *
* I said that the entire app is a huge app *6 -
Navy story time again. Lots of blabbering, you have been warned.
I haven't written for some time, due to paperwork bullshit that can be easily automated by even the most shitty database... no, scratch that, the simplest Excel spreadsheet with basic formulae. But I digress.
On my quest to justify myself being unproductive, I'll share with you a small story I omitted from this post:
https://devrant.com/rants/2099473/...
The lunacy of the man involved, while certainly entertaining after a few years (and nautical miles) away, is certainly disturbing and most certainly true. (Late disclaimer: ALL my rants are not made-up. This is shit that truly happened before my very eyes, and while I was sober.)
After I set up some cute little stuff to try and get the CO interested, in order to give me permission (and a cut from the budget) to proceed in restructuring and upgrading the ship's net, I tried a more direct approach: connecting and setting up his work laptop with the ship's GPS, radar and AIS receptor via ethernet, and installing an ECS system so that he could monitor the ship's position, movement and targets from his office (the fat fuck couldn't be bothered to go up one deck). A day later he called me to his office.
Expecting some kind of... praise? Permission? Complaints on the font style? whatever, I entered. Oh, how I wish I had not.
I was barraged for TWO FUCKING HOURS by the CO, complaining that I was taking care of the net and PCs and neglecting the Navigation department (I was not, automation is my friend combating moronic paperwork). I would have thought it as just another failed attempt, but after TWO MINUTES from the end of the barrage:
CO:... so, my personal laptop is kind of slow, you think you can do anything about it?
ME: ....................
I.
SHIT.
YOU.
NOT.
What was rushing through my mind was somewhere between bipolar and multiple personality disorder, with the third option of Alzheimer's disease. I half-expected some Candid Camera crew to pop out, but no.
CO: So? Can you speed up my laptop?
ME: ............................... I don't know, sir, I have paperwork to take care of.
CO: That can wait, surely you can do something about it, you know computers.
ME: [really long pause, blood pressure rising] I'll look into it in a moment, sir.
And I never did. I told of the incident to the ship's doctor, and he expressed great worry over this, but in the end, nothing was done.
My sympathies to everyone who has to interact with non-technicians of the homo sapiens species (ironically, homo sapiens means "wise man" in latin... the irony).3 -
So here's the story about a big Fuck up by a TRAI chief in India
He posted an open challenge on twitter:
"Here's my 12 digit Aadhar card (social security no for Indians) number. Show me if you can do any harm to me. "
And Twitter obliged, a French hacker aliased @fs0c131y (Elliot Alderson) took the challenge and he started posting his phone number, email, and other personal stuff on twitter.
Still the official thinks he's safe and no harm has been done to him! He openly says, "Even if you get my bank account no what can you do?"10 -
As stated in a previous story, I just started an internship using angular and am learning it on the job.
The other day, one of the admins posted an issue in gitlab about how easy it was to delete user accounts via the front end.
He wanted someone to add further confirmation to prevent accidentally deleting anyone. Literally just had to hit the X icon and poof they're gone.
I was like, I can do that! Of course, as I was looking at the platforms account page, accidentally deleted that admins account 😅
He thanked me for resolving the issue, and it became a joke around the office about the irony of the situation.2 -
My younger sister has to write a story for her assignment and she isn't getting any ideas . So I suggested this :
A story about a kid who has to write a story but isn't getting any ideas ,so he writes a story about a kid who has to write a story but isn't getting any ideas ,so he writes a story about a kid who has to write a story but isn't getting any ideas... till 200 words.10 -
So the story start like this, 6 months ago i left my job in a big company for an oportunitiy to work on a new one without all the bureocracy and shit and with better benefits , the first months were wonderful we were using a nice stack of technologies and the team that was assembled was a nice one with smart and hard working people with a few exceptions, but overall very good. One day out of the blue the manager started to presure us to release a project that was on time and wanted us to make extra hours and work on saturdays, sadly we blindly did because we cared for what we were creating, fast forwarding to yesterday, the whole team was called to a meeting and our contracts were terminated without previous advice because the company could not afford to pay us for more time and blahblahblah..., soo here i'm feeling used and sad but with renowed feelings about starting my own business!!20
-
There are 2 node js apps floating around the city...built by me for intranet apps used in a logistics company.
I legit asked a friend if it has been replaced and he said no, that they keep on running like a fucking beast causing no issues whatsoever.
Fascinating. I was legit expecting it to crash a while ago.
Guess mern stacks do scale if you know what you is doing.
Write your unit tests people.2 -
Our story start like this.
Boss: Hey programmer A, Can you implement {feature X} on this application?
Programmer A: I suggest not implement {feature X} because {negative impact of feature X}
Boss: Ok
Boss asks Programmer B.
Boss: Hey programmer B, Can you implement {feature X} on this application?
Programmer B: Of course, no problem
Programmer B asks Programmer A.
Programmer B: Hey Programmer A, Do you know how to implement {feature X} on this application? I have no idea.
Programmer A: WHAT!!! do you know that {feature X}, Will negatively impact our application?
Programmer B: Well that's our boss want, I can't say no.
Programmer A: (F**k I hate this guy)4 -
Three word story:
I saw the infinity rant @linuxer4fun created and got inspired--it's about time we write one of those somewhat nasty, utterly random, amazingly sophisticated three word stories (spanning unto eternity!)
This means I start by writing three words, somebody else responds to that with three words, keeping within the context of the previous one, with the ultimate goal of writing an epic tale together (of dragons and stuff!)
You're not allowed to write a comment if the previous comment is yours:
if (comment.previous ().owner == you)
return false;110 -
"Please put you cameras on"
put photo of me as background, closed privacy slide
Hope no one notices I'm not blinking5 -
I'll repeat what I wrote in an answer in another rant because I think it made a good story (I just realized it after writing it :p) :
I met a guy in my school who was the best of the school : I mean, he jumped over the first two years of the school (and he started from scratch, he never had programmed before).
I went to ask him how he got enough motivation to make all the two years projects in one and he told me something that made me understand why he was so good : "I'm fucking lazy, so when I code, I code something that I would use for a very long time, tools that will be useful in next projects".
By doing this, all he had to do in end-year projects was to assemble what he already had done to make the program. He had perfectly working tools that were awesome. So, he never had to work more than 10 hours a week after doing this.4 -
Created a poll to chose which side project to carry on during holidays, came up with a new one instead.
Story of my life.1 -
Init and Hello. My name is git and this is my story.
I just arrived in this system recently by the apt highway. It's not the only way though. Some for example used the npm hype-train, others arrived from the ssh shore. No matter where we came from the next step on our agenda was time to introduce our self at the event destined for all new-comers to the system.
"As many of you I reside in the usr-bin district. I'm really into history and commitment! I like it when people work together, so I'm always eager to bring all branches together."
"But what is it actually good for?", asked Curl, which I already met at the bus station. Many nodded in agreement. It was odd. Somehow I felt not quite at home. All the others seemed so different based on their field of work.
"We have worked here in a really agile environment for ages. There is no need for any kind of strange bureaucracy.", said another voice.
All attempts to convince them from the beauty of history or a little bit of management were unsuccessful. It was just the beginning of a not so interesting stage in my life - to say the least.
Today was another of 'those' days. I live in this community for quiet a while now and unfortunately nothing really changed - at least for the good. I sat on my branch of the tree with all the others around and there was nothing really to do for me. Again. I mean, actually it's true. I have to admit it. There is just no work on this world for someone like me. All the others seem to be so busy, while I just have to sit around and question my own existence. Since I grew tired asking these questions to myself, I stopped it. I can't do a thing actually. That's not how this world works.
"Hey fagit, anything meaningful to add to our delightful conversation?", nginx shouted over to me from another branch of the tree. Before I was able to give an indifferent answer the voice just continued.
"Oh, sorry. I forgot that you have no purpose after all. Well, never mind!"
Everyone started laughing at me. It was not too bad by the way. Actually, this was quite ordinary. These fucktards completely ran out of creativity. If it wasn't for that mere emptiness gaping right above my guts, I'd actually be disappointed. I even got accustomed to the alias 'fagit'. Quiet sad given the fact that i really like my real name. If only someone would mind using it... First too quiet to notice but growing in intensity a rumbling emerged from somewhere deep within the tree. Out of a sudden everyone stopped laughing. The voices slowly faded while the growling from afar grew louder. It had come. Not more than a shadow reached out from the tree and faster than anyone could comprehend nginx was simply gone. Killed in an instance.
Disclaimer: This story is fictional. No systems were harmed in its creation.4 -
I finally fucking made it!
Or well, I had a thorough kick in my behind and things kinda fell into place in the end :-D
I dropped out of my non-tech education way too late and almost a decade ago. While I was busy nagging myself about shit, a friend of mine got me an interview for a tech support position and I nailed it, I've been messing with computers since '95 so it comes easy.
For a while I just went with it, started feeling better about myself, moved up from part time to semi to full time, started getting responsibilities. During my time I have had responsibility for every piece of hardware or software we had to deal with. I brushed up documentation, streamlined processes, handled big projects and then passed it on to 'juniors' - people pass through support departments fast I guess.
Anyway, I picked up rexx, PowerShell and brushed up on bash and windows shell scripting so when it felt like there wasn't much left I wanted to optimize that I could easily do with scripting I asked my boss for a programming course and free hands to use it to optimize workflows.
So after talking to programmer friends, you guys and doing some research I settled on C# for it's broad application spectrum and ease of entry.
Some years have passed since. A colleague and I built an application to act as portal for optimizations and went on to automate AD management, varius ssh/ftp jobs and backend jobs with high manual failure rate, hell, towards the end I turned in a hobby project that earned myself in 10 times in saved hours across the organization. I felt pretty good about my skills and decided I'd start looking for something with some more challenge.
A year passed with not much action, in part because I got comfy and didn't send out many applications. Then budget cuts happened half a year ago and our Branch's IT got cut bad - myself included.
I got an outplacement thing with some consultant firm as part of the goodbye package and that was just hold - got control of my CV, hit LinkedIn and got absolutely swarmed by recruiters and companies looking for developers!
So here I am today, working on an AspX webapp with C# backend, living the hell of a codebase left behind by someone with no wish to document or follow any kind of coding standards and you know what? I absolutely fucking love it!
So if you're out there and in doubt, do some competence mapping, find a nice CV template, update your LinkedIn - lots of sources for that available and go search, the truth is out there! -
Was cleaning up some of the old files on my system and found the first ever raycast program I had written.. in c++
This was during a time im pretty sure all of you guys just like me learnt the things that you could possibly do using code.
The experience of the first time I ran this and saw the sprites appear was the awe all of us have experienced in our own ways.
The reason I found this picture interesting is many of us end up losing the wonder and sense of excitement that got us into development in first place.
Go back , clean up your drives .. find your old code. I'm sure there is no better feeling than looking at the past you , writing bad code , with a probably bad language on a bad editor with sleepless nights to get nothing more than the output we wanted.
It's amazing when you realise everything is better when it's simple.
-
This isn't as much of a rant as the story of my worst abuse of computer knowledge.
This happened a couple years ago. When I was in high school, I had this friend/enemy relationship with this guy, lets call him Thomas. He loved to pull pranks on people. He had a similar firend/enemy relationship with my brother, and after one prank, my brother decided to get revenge. And by revenge, he meant asking me to make a virus.
I knew the guy, and I agreed. We thought about what type of virus we could make that would be funny, and not too damaging. We decided on a program that would play annoying sound effects every few minutes. Short enough to be noticable, long enough that Thomas would give up and not try to investigate.
I won't bore you with the details of the program. It was a very simple C app, very small, named "Counter-Strike-Global-Offence-Free-Download-Totally-Legit.exe". It was clearly visible in task manager, but since it was so small and barely used CPU or RAM it would stay near the bottom. I tried loading a custom sound effect, but it turned out the windows default "invalid sound effect" was much more annoying than any custom sound I could find.
The "Infecting" portion consisted of moving the .exe to the start menu startup folder while Thomas left his laptop unattended. My brother handled this part.
I unfortunaly left the country soon after and never actually saw the effect the program had on Thomas. I assumed my brothers laughing would give it away rather fast and he could simply remove it from his startup folder. However, my brother told me he still complained about it for months, before finally bringing the laptop to a repair center that found the totally legit CS:GO exe. My brother ended up telling him soon after, but this was still the best prank I ever pulled. -
Story time!
I worked at a company that was the HQ for a sizable organization for a while, until it was eventually bought out by another company, and then yet another company who was located in the valley.
We were kinda a forgotten office not being the HQ, like most places like that are.
No customers EVER visited our building, few if any people knew we existed even, even our own company. I visited HQ in the valley on a number of occasions and was stalked by the video monitoring system for hours before I was stopped by security and the cops called because nobody believed there as an office outside the valley when I explained why my badge looked different .... (San Jose cops were very nice about it and really pissed at the security team.) But that's another story...
One day people who were never at our office decided (after many meetings without talking to anyone at the office) ... they decided the beige walls at our office didn't match the company colors.
So they took all the generic wall coverings down and painted all the walls an almost imperceptible different color.
So now we had an office with all white(ish) walls and nothing on them. Due to the configuration of the building there were these huge monolithic white walls that looked pretty dumb.
This lasted quite a while so as a joke I printed up and framed (found an old frame, as a former HQ we had lots of stuff lying around) a sign that said:
"This space intentionally left blank."
When the "mediocre hotel room quality art" and posters were scheduled to go up the folks putting the art up skipped that wall thinking the sign was official.
Even the somewhat corporate drone directors, and one VP at our office thought it was so funny, they didn't say a word about it. Word has it back at HQ they assumed it "must be fire code or something" and told the folks hanging the crappy art to skip that wall.
It lasted on that wall for a decade until we moved out of that building. On the last day, everything was moved, but that sign remained. No idea if it is still there or not...1 -
//little Story of a sys admin
Wondered why a Server on my Linux Root couldn't build a network connection, even when it was running.
Checked iptables and saw, that the port of the Server was redirected to a different port.
I never added that rule to the firewall. Checked and a little script I used from someone else generated traffic for a mobile game.
OK beginn the DDoS Penetration. Over 10 Gbit/s on some small servers.
Checked Facebook and some idiot posted on my site:
Stop you little shithead or I will report you to the police!!!
Checked his profile page and he had a small shitty android game with a botnet.
Choose one:
1. let him be
2. Fuck him up for good
Lets Sudo with 2.
I scaled up my bandwith to 25 Gbit/s and found out that guys phone number.
Slowly started to eat away his bandwith for days. 3 days later his server was unreachable.
Then I masked my VoIP adress and called him:
Me: Hi, you know me?
He: No WTF! Why are you calling me.
Me: I love your're game a lot, I really love it.
He: What's wrong with you? Who are you?
Me: I'm teach
He: teach?
Me: Teach me lesson
He: Are you crazy I'm hanging up!
Me: I really love you're game. I even took away all your bandwith. Now you're servers are blocked, you're game banned on the store.
He: WHAT, WHAT? (hearing typing)
Me: Don't fuck with the wrong guys. I teached you a lesson, call me EL PENETRATO
He: FUCK Fuck Fuck you! Who are you???!!! I'm going to report you!
Me: How?
He: I got you're logs!
Me: Check it at Utrace...
He: Holy shit all around the world
Me: Lemme Smash Bitch
*hung up*4 -
-- Once upon a time in a long forgotten country, a most wise wizard created a magic software that would replace all TODO comments in PHP files with actual code...
-- But dad, that's the wrong story. You wanted to tell the story of the WTF witch who makes all JS objects falsy.
Me -- Hm, okay mister, you got me. Let's see.
Me again -- Once upon a time in the far-off country of Whatthefuckia...
Man I'm so proud of my son.1 -
I watched this video today about the new Xbox adaptive controllers. I had heard about it before, but never knew how capable or functional it actually was.
And watching that video made me realise exactly how much the tech we build , and support helps many people live the lives they wanted.
All the rants about languages , editors , frameworks aside , things like this were built with an idea and an inclusive intension to help. And that's exactly what we all are here for :)
do check the video out it made my day and I'm sure it will make yours too ..
https://youtu.be/MHOYQQTvQu4
Ok now let's get our pitchforks back and go hunt some vim users down.
Bye
1 -
So a little story about finding your way. I worked at an IoT software firm, very well established. I had a hard time with the on boarding process due to some factors, and I must have lagged behind their mental schedule for my growth. It was clear nonetheless that I was a quality coder and had made some friends there.
It wasn’t enough for the ensuing corporate bullying. It went by and I took it. I became the yes man just so I don’t frustrate anyone enough to turn away my ask for help. This made things worse and before long, I a grown man went to visit my mum and all but cry at how small I felt, after all my hard work getting to the company.
I felt sick with failure but I knew I couldn’t go back. I emailed my resignation and dropped off my company laptop.
4 months later I am working at a medical startup with my own projects, that I have 100% control over. And the quality of my work and ethic is pleasing upper management in all the right ways. I’ve never been happier, and there are barely any perks on paper. No free lunches on Thursdays or discounts at the local high street. I’m the happiest I’ve ever been in my life because I said NO to feeling or being treated any less than I worked and progressed to be.
Don’t let other people stop your potential for their own ego, or any other reason. 😊 -
Guy studies programming for a year.
Guy: I am going to start this amazing project wanna help
Me: Sure what is it
Guy: ***Long story of a decent idea***
Me: Sure Ill help, what do you need me to do
Guy: Only a few functions
A few days later...
Guy: Hey I don't where to start or how I should do it can you help me with like THE WHOLE PROGRAM?
If you haven't gathered from this story. Don't be that one guy who has an idea but doesn't write or make a plan for it as your just going to waste other peoples energy and resources.8 -
Security Horror Story:
A password authenticator which is case-insensitive and all special characters are treated as the same value. As a bonus, all passwords are truncated to 4 characters.2 -
Up until last year I was pre-med. I graduated college with a bachelors in Biology. Took my MCAT, prepped my med school applications for submission, and then realized I didn’t wanna pursue this pseudo-dream I had for so long. I realized the reality of the sacrifice and the lifestyle I was gonna make and began to regret not studying what I truly liked to be doing on my off time which is computers and programming. Long story short, here I am back in school getting a degree in CS, and can whole heartily admit, I’m happy doing/learning what I love.
It’s amazing how life works. Never would I have imagined that I’d make a switch like that, but I know it’s the best decision I’ve made so far.4 -
!dev !rant
You guys talk about having too much coffee occasionally - enough to where you weren't able to even focus;
I, being the dumbass I am overachieved a little and actually drank so much once and basically seized up
My friend was driving me home and all of the sudden i felt my arm muscles contracting, and then my abdomen and chest
shit was scary
we had to pull over and i had to struggle to shove a bottle and a half of water down my throat before he could drive me home
moral of the story = Make sure you eat in the morning, and there IS such a thing as too much coffee6 -
Before the lockdown, we regularly had our client's testers in our office to evaluate the prototypes of potential features.
Some of them would just be left on their own with the software and tell is their experience afterwards. The Application is tested on our machines while the Testers are taking notes on their devices.
So one of the testers suddenly told us she had a "non application-related, general technical problem".
Well it turned out that she selected some text in the application running on our machine, then right-clicking and copied it and then unplugged her USB-Mouse, plugged it in on her Laptop and wondered, why she couldn't paste the text.
Since then, my respect for our UX department grew enormously since we very rarely get complaints.4 -
caution: just some dude sharing a random story.
started my own small business around half a year now. a month earlier from that my cousin also started his career as a self employed dev with his own small business and we work together.
next year we we will start a company together, where we merge our existing small businesses into one. we are developing software on our own and we design and implement software for our customers.
seems like we are doing something right because we are reaching our capacities almost all of the time.
we plan to hire apprentices (hope it's the right word) and to teach them all we know to be able to then increase our possible workload.
you know, I do not have a degree or some form of education in the field of IT. And here in germany it was almost impossible to land a job as a dev. needed my cousin who studied cs to get me my first position in that field - and even with his reputation it was not easy.
this shit will not happen on my watch. If I see someone with fire for development I will give them a chance, irrespective of their background. And I will be more than happy to let that person grow and to give every kind of support I can.
we also plan to have something like "if the employee has a good idea for software that sells, we will support it and share revenue". got to figure out the details on that one, but I want to give the employee the possibility to grow some passive income out of their normal job - because for me this was never an option. and I think that this will motivate in some way 😅
just wanted to get this out of my head 😣4 -
She asked for it...
Me: being happy with my first rant, scrolling through the app on mobile in bed
Gf: aah are you now on instagram for nerds?!
Me: ... (sudden realization how 'our world' may be perceived by muggles)
'5 minutes pass, both on mobile'
Gf: hey can you help me get this *feature* to work on my iPhone?
Me: why don't you can ask for help on your photo platform for cool people?
Gf: ... (sudden realization to be nice in order to get help with iCrap)
True story4 -
!rant
Me and my bestfriend joined a hackathon way back since we were in college. The task was to fetch JSON data from a REST APIs then we were given a sample link so we can compare the output between the expected output with our own. But the response from the actual API is not in JSON format, it's a string so we need to do dozens of string manipulation to match the expected output.
To submit our work we are given our own subdomain to upload our work and setup the environment and the URL will be submitted. We know how to complete the challenge but the time is running out and we were in panic mode so my friend mistakenly submitted the URL used to compare the output. We already expected to fail the challenge but what the fuck, we got a perfect score and won the challenge.1 -
!rant, but some kind of story
I work as a lead dev on a gmod server of a pretty big german community. With the fun stuff, there come the duty‘s to help Jr. Devs or even help people get into Developing. The part, where you help junior devs is always fun, but what I find interesting is the part where you help people learn coding. It’s not easy work, but you learn more every “lesson”. I catch myself exploring and learning something new, even if I know the topic. For me it’s a new journey every time.
Not sure if there are many people who can relate but I just wanted to tell my side on it.1 -
When you're in the middle of a story and management starts repoting bugs related to that story.
I'M NOT DONE YET!! -
I can vaguely remember the 4 year old me turning the computer on while my cousin starts a dos shell to play Dangerous Dave.
5 year old me finds wolfenstien installed on my windows 95 , doom a few years later , quake after that .. one masterpiece after another.
Little did I know that software can make memories.
I grew up with software made by these legends and nothing excites me more than the dream of one day being in a team just like theirs with the goal of having fun and spreading it.
Carmack and Romero .. the people who architected fun from code.
2 -
Short story of a developer
0) Don't know how to do something
1) Search for hours on internet
2) Find only crappy codes
3) Try a crappy code
4) Realize that it works only for who created the code (What the hell...)
5) Cry
6) Ask on forums
7) Get downvote without any reason
8) Receive useless answer
9) Delete project4 -
This is meant as a follow-up on my story about how I'm no longer and Ada developer and everything leading up to that. The tldr is that despite over a decade of FOSS work, code that could regularly outperform a leading Ada vendor, and much needed educational media, I was rejected from a job at that vendor, as well as a testing company centered around Ada, as well as regularly met with hostility from the community.
The past few months I have been working on a "pattern combinator" engine for text parsing, that works in C#, VB, and F#. I won't explain it here, but the performance is wonderful and there's substantial advantages.
From there, I've started a small project to write a domain specific language for easily defining grammars and parsing it using this engine.
Microsoft's VisualStudio team has reached out and offered help and advice for implementing the extensions and other integrations I want.
That Ada vendor regularly copied things I had worked on, "introducing" seven things after I had originally been working on them.
In the almost as long experience with .NET I've rarely encountered hostility, and the closest thing to a problem I've had has been a few, resolved, misunderstandings.
Microsoft is a pretty damn good company. And it's great to actually be welcomed/included.2 -
So I've been working on automating a project's regression tests for several months.
I'm not even experienced as a tester but as a developer it's more satisfying to script than to do everything manually.
Someone had been working on the project before but their test object repository was a mess. The senior that picked up the project while I was learning asked to be moved out two months later because it was too frustrating for him.
So there I am trying to fix the whole thing by myself. My boss notices a lot of the tests were failing and asked me to fix it before scripting new ones. I spend like a month doing that and then I hear rumours about cancelling the automation project.
Later I get told that I'm going to be rolled off the project due to low productivity. A few weeks later a new manager steps in and while I'm giving the knowledge transfer to my boss and manager they come to the realization that this clusterfuck isn't something a single person should be doing.
The manager talks with the client asking to keep me working on the project and asks for two more resources to speed things up.
Now I'm coaching three people.2 -
rant = Rant.STORY_TIME
<<<Story
This is still something funny me and my friends often remember.
There was once upon a time we were young and stupid, playing on the internet with fake credit card numbers, sometimes we had luck and the orders passed.
We were on the living room, checking who could put an order for a coffee machine, while another friend of mine was talking about the deep web and what he found there.
Suddenly, someone knocks really hard on the door... We went silent...
Me: "Who's there?"
Voice: Federal Police, open up!
Me: *shiiiit*
I went blank, close my laptop as fast as possible, I thought of throwing it away through the window. My friends panicked, I had my laptop upside down, opening the lid to remove the HDD.
One of my friends stood up and went to the door, looked through the eyehole.
Friend: *whispering* The eyehole's covered!
We quickly stood up and looked at each other, like we were acknowledging our wrong doing and getting ready to face the consequences.
I took a deep breath and put the key in the door to open it. Sudden heavy knock again. I jumped and yelled "I'm on it, wait a minute!".
Slowly I opened the door... And there they were, another two of my friends.
F1: hey...what, what happened? Why are you so scared.
They stepped in while we told them what we were doing and they laughed their asses off.
We were shit scared, and those two were laughing.
Story;
So, nowadays, I don't even think about doing that kind of stuff again and I'm hoping to make a Master's degree in security...or electronics, whatever happens first. -
https://devrant.com/rants/3140022/...
So I just realised it's been a while and I haven't updated this story.
So the job mentioned in the previous post did not work out. Things were tough for a while after that but then all of a sudden I had 4 interviews back to back. I guess everyone got the 2021 budgets and suddenly knew they could afford me.
So had an interview at a small company, only 6km from my house. A week later second interview, another week later, when I had the other 3 lined up as well, third interview as they wanted to physically meet me. The first two were digital.
They also only offered me 47% of my previous salary but they said there was a salary review after probation (3 months) and another at the 6 month mark.
Another interview was for more just a general "the printer's not working" type job. I went for that interview as at the time, I'd take anything that paid enough to cover the bills. They also made me an offer for 47% of my prev salary. I turned them down as I was about to sign for the other gig. I recommended my brother and he got the job.
The monday of that week I had an interview at a bigger company. They called on 11th Nov offering almost the same as my last salary and wanted me to start on the 1st of Dec. So I took that one as it was double the other two. I then got delayed by 2 days with starting because they were having trouble getting my equipment sorted. All's well now.
It's a support job, not dev but it's internal 2nd line so at least it's not customer facing. They want to grow me into an RPA role, which I'm down for. I figure I'll kill 6 months doing that and worm my way into microservices.
The forth company, I didn't even actually for the interview, it kept on getting delayed and by the time they came op with a date, I had already signed my current contract.
Overall, the job is not what I expected but it was a godsend as I was about to sign for half as much money. Finally, I can pay all my bills, catch up on debts and even save a bit!
Thanks for the support and encouragement from those of you who have been following this story -
!rant
Today I almost lost my not a year old motorcycle.
I parked my motorcycle in a parking lot, kept the key on the seat and left. After an hour I realised that I hadn't brought my key after locking my motorcycle. I ran to the parking lot like a mad bull. Fortunately my motorcycle was not stolen and the key was still there on the seat. 😌 -
!rant
I studied BS Computer Science and one of our requirements is our thesis. All of the groups in our section proposed Web Based apps and got rejected because web based apps are too common. So we have no choice so all of us proposed mobile apps. Mobile Development is not in our curriculum so we have to teach ourselves during the development of our thesis.
All of the groups' dev collaborated and taught each other except one group, my group. Since I am a lazy motherfucker, I didn't taught myself how to develop a mobile app (android). So I made a web based app with responsive design, purchased my own domain, used android studio's webview and voila, a mobile app with a web based admin.
P.S. We got the best thesis award.3 -
Got praised today by an important guy in my company for writing understandable javascript code. He said he'd gladly learn js if I were to teach it.
feelsgoodman.jpg1 -
*sits at work*
Other dev has a problem, Visual Studio keeps crashing etc.
*Senior dev comes over*
asks what she's struggling with.
she explains it to him, saying it's possibly a port problem.
senior dev goes "ah, yeah that's just gonna take a second"
*senior dev sits down and rolls a new port with two actual dice*
I fucking died.2 -
Jesus and Satan have an argument as to who is the better programmer. This goes on for a few hours until they come to an agreement to hold a contest with God as the judge. They set themselves before their computers and begin. They type furiously, lines of code streaming up the screen, for several hours straight.
Seconds before the end of the competition, a bolt of lightning strikes, taking out the electricity. Moments later, the power is restored, and God announces that the contest is over. He asks Satan to show his work. Visibly upset, Satan cries and says, “I have nothing. I lost it all when the power went out.”
“Very well,” says God, “let us see if Jesus has fared any better.”
Jesus presses a key, and the screen comes to life in vivid display, the voices of an angelic choir pour forth from the speakers.
Satan is astonished. He stutters, “B-b-but how?! I lost everything, yet Jesus’ program is intact! How did he do it?”
God chuckles, “Everybody knows… Jesus saves.” -
It's important to redo old projects and ideas, here is why:
I worked on a project about 6 months ago, it was mostly just a "coding challenge" and I worked on the project for 3 days and I didn't get it to work. But I started working on the project again from scratch 2 days ago and I got it to work this time!
The moral of this story:
Just making new projects makes it hard to see how much you've grown and improved. But redoing old projects (even if they worked) gives you a concrete representation on how much you've improved (and if you have at all😉)3 -
I've been struggling with some financial issues lately. I haven't told this to my family bc I am helping my mom with money, hat wouldn't help.
Sadly, I got two general tickets for WebSummit 2019 and I thought "okay, I am nearby Portugal rn, somebody of my circle could go with me and have some fun, I feel so blue..."
No one. Not a single one. Nobody.
"Maybe with those Telegram groups of JS developers..."
No one.
Maybe it sounds like some fraud or something, so they didn't answer. I even mentioned to an old entrepreneur friend of mine, and he didn't even answer me.
Disheartened is the word for today. I don't know, I am not expecting that people can join this adventure just bc is awesome, we all have bills to pay, but at least an answer would be fine.
I know it is not a fun story, and there are people in worse situations than mine. I just wanted to do some catharsis bc I lost my laptop.
I still have bills, two tickets, and a new kind of miserable mood.
Thank you for reading.2 -
Sad story:
SSHd to a vultr server, downloaded MongoDB docker (approx 170MB) download and extracting 70% of the image was done faster than me navigating from devRan notifs page, to devRant feed page, I need a new internet plan T_T1 -
My baby sister told me she wanted to learn how to code, her reason being; she visited a startup incubation center at her school, my alma mater, and she thought they looked so cool and collected.
Hahaha! I told her to try visit when they are having a deployment or when someone's code is just not working.1 -
Did anyone here try to go self-employed before by selling software? If so, did you succeed? What's your story?7
-
People usually ask "Whats the story behind your username?", so, i got a new idea..
Whats the story behind your password?13 -
So new job started.
Just for context- old company was shit.
Promised the world but.
No benefits.
Terrible project management.
High pressure.
But green field interesting work (except by now it’s a few years in so it’s a ‘browning’ field but I was on it from the start).
New company first impressions..
Seems a fantastic company.
True to their word they have money for tools.
Making time for personal development.
Much bigger development community/department.
Seems like the term are under far less pressure so far at least.
But a MASSIVE amount of tech debt.
People seem to want to do the right thing and they’re making time to try and deal with it.
But one or two are very opinionated as to how to deal with it.
So this could go either way and only time will tell I guess.
Trying not to over analyse every little thing they say but I’m hyper sensitive to it at the minute while in the early days.
As always the real challenge in IT is the people not the tech. I count myself as part of the problem, sure I will form some opinions and sharing them too.3 -
Once I finish reading a long rant/story on this website, I have to scroll up to rate the rant/story.3
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The world's largest rubber duck is a couple hours from me at the moment, I plan to visit with all my major coding bugs and errors, hopefully his size and wonder will help me fix all the big issues my little one couldn't3
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When I was in school I was in a vocational school and my program was a Computer Service and Networking class and that’s what it taught it’s pretty self explanatory. BUT we also did some programming.
I was the only one interested in programming really considering everyone else loved the hardware. But when they would ask for help it was awful.
The book we used didn’t format the python properly on the page so you can’t really tell if there’s an indent if you dont know python well (they didn’t) which is okay.
But what isn’t okay is asking me for help and SENDING ME A FUCKING VIDEO OF THE COde LIKE FUCKING WHAT THE HELL MAN THAT SHIT ISNT EVEN READABLE AND YOUR HAND IS SHAKING LIKE YOURE HAVING A STROKE AT LEAST SEND ME THE CODE OR WORST CASE A PICTURE.
This happened more than once. 😤6 -
I have personally struggled a little with CMake always. I usually have to take help from some senior dev. Today I was able to figure something out on my own so this is an achievement story. Think I should treat myself with a book3
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It has been a while since my last tale. I think it was about me starting a bootcamp...
Well, a lot of things happen since that:
• I did the bootcamp: three months of code-sleep-code, but now I know a bunch of new stuff.
• I gained my passion/love for develop again.
• Made new friends.
• IDK how became the CTO of a startup (which failed, shame, but I did learn a lot of new stuff again. Plus it wont failed because of the tech side (damn business not doing his business part...)) for about 6 months.
• And next week I will start at a new job (yaaay, income again!): they give me a nice 2k laptop, work from home if I want, nice salary...
So, I think I am ok.
PD: Sry if something I write is wrong, english is not my native language. -
I like lying in the dark with my laptop with keyboard backlight enabled just to look at the keyboard.4
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I'm writing a special (fictional) story and I'll post it next as soon as it's done (in an hour or so). I've written articles before, but this will be my first ever try at a (very short) fictional story 😅
Any feedback is welcome.
Stay tuned.
😊
PS
Have you ever written fiction?15 -
I did one of those shitty logic bullshit tests these a few weeks ago. It was fucking dumb. Was told to write an algorithm to test when an egg would break if it was dropped off a ladder with 100 steps. An egg would break if you dropped it without being on a ladder. Am I right? The guy was like yeah but what if it didn't? I said Well it would. Eggs are fragile. How about you go away with your fictional fucking logic and ask me some proper question that test my actual coding knowledge instead of trying to pony about on your high horse. Cunt!7
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So there was this rant: "I have a beard now" but by the time I wrote my comment it was gone. So why not make it a dedicated story of its own. This was partially in response to @Floydian who asked if he grew it overnight.
It's the remarkable moment:
1) It's been a while since you shaved and you will return to work/school/wherever today/tomorrow, so you pick up the razor.
2) You look at the mirror and like what you see so you just return the razor to its place.
3) ???
4) Still have beard when you leave the house.2 -
!rant. Story from my college abt 6 months old.
We had to make projects for our course.
One team made a very nice project. One part of that was mobile no. verification using OTP.
And the student who was supposed to to that, did it by sending the required otp to the frontend page, and when user enters it, validate it using javascript.
The prof got mad about it and the rest of the class couldn't stop laughing.
Just remembered. Thought it would be worth sharing. -
When I was in high school, I was learning to code on my own. I showed my python code that I was really proud of to the girl I liked. she didn't understand what it is, she thinks its weird, she thinks I'm weird.
She has a point.3 -
TIL CSS has a counter-increment property and it really gave off some powerful "HTML is a programming language" vibes.9
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Me: *ranting to my friend who isn’t a dev (but is in IT and a good knowledge of networking) about a problem I came across in my project.
“I don’t know how I’ll send folders”
Him: “just compress it before hand and decompress when it’s sent”
Me: *mind fucked*
Have any of you guys gotten surprisingly good ideas from non programmers?10 -
another true story time:
be me
read about banned pokemon episodes on wikipedia
electric soldier porygon: an episode that red blue flashes caused 685 viewers taken to hospitals by ambulances
😈lets try it
write a simple program that makes same light effects
try it on myself
no kill
try it on roommates
no kill
try to send it as many people i can reach
omg people why don't you die?
gave up after 1 week of unsuccessful attempts3 -
Top answer to the blog post:
https://news.ycombinator.com/item/...
"I've made a career fixing a ton of horribly shitty, inefficient code that's been produced exclusively by people who pass these interviews."
Which is gold, imho <.<1 -
TLDR: I've become what I used to hate (without actually knowing it).
I used to hate large companies and their way of working (bureaucracy and stuff). I always thought that I'd work for start-ups, until I started developing my own stuff after work cause now I have to work 9-5 instead of the 9-inf before. Well, it was nice sharing this. When I started working here I thought I would not be able to handle it. But it seems nice so far.
Cheers everyone.1 -
Call me a novice, but isn't the point of a user story to be concise, limited in scope and only concerning one purpose? Kind of like a class should only have one responsibility.
This stupid other reviewer developer comes whining at me saying I broke some shit in my user story and that I need to fix it. The weirdest part is that I didn't break anything. I wrote all my tests, they all passed and yep, this guy has the nerve to come and say that I broke other shit. Well genius, if it's OTHER SHIT, then it belongs as a bug in ANOTHER STORY. What the fuck man, seriously.
A few minutes of debugging later, I found out it was someone else who broke some code earlier on a piece that was part of my part of the application.
Why are others so quick to blame? This is unprofessional. OMG I DISCOVERED AN ERROR, YOU'RE PROBABLY THE ONE TO BLAME BECAUSE YOU'RE AN IGNORANT GUY BECAUSE YOUR TITLE IS JUNIOR DEVELOPER!
Right.
Companies like these, people, have bad communication. Bad companies.2 -
So I'm helping my vocational school teacher with his Programming class as a graduate. While we were alone and talking about normal stuff (plans for the class and stuff like that), he brought up discord and after that I told him "I really wanna work for them, but I don't wanna move" and he continued to tell me how I have so much potential, how nothing stops me, how I am going far and that I'm going to do a lot. I wanted to legit cry inside because I've always thought the exact opposite of myself and always just thought about living a normal life, with the same dev job, nice home yknow the norm.
Idk man that talk happened in the afternoon today and Im still overwhelmed with the positivity.3 -
After graduating, me and my friends looked and applied for jobs immediately. Our first job interview consists of 2 additional interviews but sadly, I failed the second one (don't ask why) but all of my friends passed so I was really bummed out. But I still attended the final interview and surprisingly, they didn't know I failed and we all got the job.2
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*Repost of my own accidentally deleted post*
A Short story that i made on an Android component
===============================
Once upon a time there used to be a ViewPager who was not able to load a Fragment UI.
All the ViewPagers in town can properly load the Fragrant UI but this one was little different.
He wanted to be more then just a ViewPager. He used to see an Activity that can load anything. He was inspired from the Activity and wanted to be like the Activity but his destiny made him just a ViewPager.
So he refused to cooperate. He started to protest silently, No log, nothing.
Everyone assumed this ViewPager have a bug in it. but he was planning something really big that will left everyone in shock and awe moment.
He was planning to rise against the evil 😈 developers who continuously making him to load Fragrant UI
He assembled the biggest army of the bugs that humanity ever seen to counter the developers.
He distributed these bugs in all over the developer's code to make them fire from their work.
Even he taught bugs to not caught in QA testing but appear in production randomly.
So they silently started going into production
And then chaos is erupted all around the world, bugs started to surface and interrupted the daily life of humanity.
In this chaos the ViewPager RAISED!
And took over all the base classes.
ViewPager was unaware of few facts. this unnecessary rise in his power made whole system unstable
Without the base classes the system finally collapsed and then ViewPager as well with the system.
This was the end of everything for the ViewPager but he was satisfied as he lived the life he always wanted
THE END -
Following this rant\story:
https://devrant.com/rants/1305438/...
I've finally found a job that I like both from the compensation point of view and the job itself 😁🎉
Can't be more happy.1 -
Story time;
Major project, multi million budget, huge business and IT coordination, board level status updates, meeting started back in March 2018 for a Go Live of Aug 2019.
Based on draft requirements (and experience) I request the test environment be built for half of the work. Turns out that no one told Server Eng and they are out of space in both dev and prod until Q2 of 2019. We went from Green to Red because a Service Request.5 -
is it bad that it's 3am and the best thing to happen since I woke up yesterday morning is 3 word story on here and I'm staying awake to see where it goes.4
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FUCK YOU VODAFONE!
My internet broke down the weekend, 4 minutes after I left my house on Friday at 9.04am.
Issue resolved after work at 9pm, broke down half an hour later.
Total silence. Providers status page gave 500 response.
THE NEXT DAY: Woke up because Netflix was working at 8.26am again.
Great, I get up. Can't wait to do anything I want again! I can code, game, watch porn, possibilities are endless!
I get stuff to breakfast. Come back and guess what? NO INTERNET!
Got confirmation of existence of problems at noon. Something with streaming, possibly fixed by Monday.
Okay maybe streaming, but shouldn't the other stuff then work? I process.
Used up my mobile data. Tried again, now it works, but...
.. why.. so.. slow? It was worse than 3g. Time to get out lynx to Google.
It's Sunday. I woke up pissed, got myself a Coffee and tried to get some offline work done. I sipped, closed my eyes for a moment and opened chrome.
IT WORKED! omg, fuck yes! I almost cried I was that happy - can you believe it?
All fine an dandy Monday. So surely the streaming thing will also be gone now, cool.
Today's day is Tuesday. Guess why I am writing this.
Fuck these apprentice nigga cunts graaaaa!!! Or their infrastructure will finally break down.
How is it even possible to do any work on a very important node at a time where probably everyone wants to chill out with the web?7 -
If I was to talk about software, the act of coding is probably the most boring part. But birthing a program can pull from magic, animation, circus, gardening, parenting, woodwork, and a host of arts, trades, and crafts. It is a wonderful creative task that is being sold short by brilliant jerks, one trick fools, and con men.2
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When you write a detailed story for an offshore dev and still feel like you missed something important.
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Story points aren't supposed to be mapped to time directly.
Spikes and investigations should be timeboxed.
How do you story point spikes and investigations? Just have the same arbitrary story point value for all spikes?15 -
Thinking really hard about starting my own retro pc collection starting with the NEC pc-98 ......hmmmmmm wondee how my wife would feel about me spending money in this shit
Recently I have taken to all things retro tech, always liked it really, specially since my mom showed me pics of me playing with an old commodore 64 when i was younger as well as another of a family friend showing me the sharp 68k this shit fuels my appetite for knowing more about the programming ways of the old school coders. Some pretty interesting stuff, I feel that the newer generations would benefit greatly by knowing the things we had to do in order to build efficient programs back in the day. Not to say that I was part of that at all. I was born in 1991, how I came to see these systems is unknown and forgotten by me, but something that none the less os part of my story in computing.
Because of the industry that surrounds me I have been dealing with working with web development, but shit is really not that much of a passion of mine, had I the skills more than the academic knowledge I would love to work with low level C code all day, I just feel that the things that developers do there are so much more interesting than handilg web development, web development is tedious and a current shitstorm, not to say that shit was not like that for the programmers that i am referencing, but i just want more.
Web development has made me a successful man, at 28 i am the head of my department, I might sound like a Disney princess but I want more, I want more knowledge and more experience in different areas of Computer Science. I want to know it all and it seems like time continuously goes against me.
Oh well, here is to a new year lads, see what i can do.3 -
I've been working on a side project for a while(many months) and I'm at my 3rd refactoring and concluded that the greater service I want to achieve the more complex the project become, nothing exceptional, except I feel like doing the effort of an entire team of software developers.
Someone else has/d such a feeling/experience? If yes, I would like to hear your thoughs/story(just curious ;)
Ps: soon I'll reveal some screenshots here :32 -
So going thru my facebook memories, ive been seeing all these old posts where I come up with ideas for various jewish websites and apps, since for some reason the entirety of mainstream jewish media and leadership seems to be completely out of touch with youth culture and, well, they just all suck. Anyway all my posts end with "someone should create this"
Now i have so many great ideas to work on and practice on 😇😇😇 I honestly LOVE coding so much, its given me such a vast new creative outlet!!!! -
We’ve been discussing it, from a lot of angles. We mixed in the domain constraints for this feature and how to build it. I’ve been at the drawing board, and at the keyboard trying to get it into code. FINALLY I have something to show for the hard work, a working proof of concept. It felt good. There are a lot of things still left to polish, but we have most of the building blocks. If that ain’t the best feeling and the reason to work in this field. Left the job yesterday with the feeling that I’ve accomplished something, that’s not often since it’s otherwise mostly meetings and boring code reviews. Satisfaction.
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After a couple of days reading bout CI/CD i find it really compilated for my usecase. Server for jankins server for rancher server for anything and a lot of configurations to make it work. So i gave up and decided to build my own CI tool which turned out to be easiear than all of this. So i wrote a simple cli tool in go which listens on master branch of every directory specified in a .yml file and everytime a new commit is done it pulls the repo and rebuilds the container. Pretty easy without having to deal with all the bullshit15
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We noticed that in our landing directory we were receiving duplicate files.
I asked the source to investigate.
He told me that the issue was not at his end. He asked me to mark the issue has been resolved from his end. I refused.
We get on a call to debug the issue. After 30mins he is extremely frustrated. As he was sharing his screen, he runs the command `ls -ltr | uniq -cd` on his server which sends the files and then screams at me "Where are the duplicates? Show me. Check the output. There are no duplicates.".
I first muted the call. Had a good laugh. Made him repeat it to show my team mates. They had a good laugh too.
I then asked him to call it a day. And once you cool down, think about what you just showed me. -
Let me tell you a short story. Back in 2016 I resigned my job and started working in my current company 1.10.2016.
One year later in 2017 I got a loan approved on the same date 1.10.2017.
Going forward to today, I resigned my current job moving on and the date when I'm starting the new job is also 1.10. and to make more interesting the load is ending on the same date. I was already thinking about that date and the coincidence and remembered that my wife's birthday is on the SAME date, now I'm afraid and have a feeling that something else will happen hahah
What do you think am I just overthinking or? :D5 -
Turns out that stuff you commit and remove in later commits stays in git history and is searchable.
That, kids, is why you either squash your commits or just don't put swears in your debug code.
Especially if you have literally dozens of colleagues on the same codebase.
And you work in a large organisation where this sort of thing is frowned upon.
The crime was months ago, I wonder what the statute of limitations is on that.
And yes, in the years-long history of the codebase it's JUST me that's used any of the big three.3 -
Fun story, I keep discovering new ways of being shameless.
I had been once caught of basically giving my assignment (not one of my brightest moments)for a course to a friend and surprise surprise the instructor did take disciplinary action but he was a bit pissed so infact, he called out for a viva for all the assignments.
The Vivas went fine but immediately after I was done I was like "sir so I'm having a bit of trouble in this next assignment I was wondering if you could help me out" 😂 I have no clue what I was thinking nor was I proud of that.
Kudos to the instructor tho who calmly responded and actually helped me out with it.
Also due to some policy the action could not go ahead so yea guess things turned out fine. Im now hoping to see if he can keep me as an RA. Again, yes why am I like this. Good instructor tho. -
Why the hell do some teams use story points on bugs? I mean, there's a reason why they're called STORY points 😯
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Started by seeing an example of script in Batch and trying to recreate it, then I learned HTML, some CSS and JS and made HTA programs, then a little Visual Basic because I liked the idea of desining your own GUI in Visual Studio so easily, then I started High School and forgot almost all I learned. Sad story...
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One letter story:
This is going to be weird--do it and we'll see how far we can go without going completely insane.
Whitespaces is one single comment, so is symbols such as the period sign. Be creative--use ampersands and quick way of writing longer things.
The rest of the rules go the same as for my previous rant. I'll write the first comment, then we COMMENT THE FUCKING SHIT OUT OF THIS GOD DAMN FUCKING RANT!17 -
A friend frequently asks me for help with Java homework.
Today we spent half an hour figuring out how to use some ass-backwards linked list implementation his lecturer provided.
The list itself acted like an iterator, keeping track of a 'current' element that had to be reset to the list's head manually every time you want to iterate over the list. There were insert and append methods that call each other for no good reason and most methods would throw the same generic checked exception.
Also they're told to use BlueJ which has the ugliest debugging tools i've ever seen.3 -
HER SHORT STORY》
A you beautiful girl decided to be a software developer
For a month she worked on an application
For 2 days she was sooo depressed her father could even notice it
On that day he heard her shouting in her room "Shit I am such an idiot ! !"
So the father went to check wat was going on and asked
Father: Ginger wat is going on?
Ginger: I messed up now I realize I missed a period!
Father: 😲 WHAT!!!
I told you to stay away from that boy
Who is going to take care of that child??
Ginger: [points on her monitor]
🖥️👈🏼I am talking about my code
🙄8 -
Let's create a story ....
It was a normal day at the office, I had my headphones on and doing my coding, when suddenly the main office door blew up and smoke grenades where thrown in, I had to decide ...8 -
Do any body have turned their phones into gray scale mode?
Completely cured my addition for smartphones.#TrueStory
2 -
just a little pool here, do you, yes, you, do you think an inexperienced intern should take an epic story?
(not that there we work with agile, that would be great, but it's a task equivalent to an epic.)2 -
Last day at current company feels like 😢When something ends something else begins! All that remains is the memories you create with people!2
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True story: We had once a project where the manager tells the client we are using the Waterfall but internally the devs are actually doing Agile. >_<1
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Today I deeply understood/learned that if anything complex has to be built, tested and maintained by a single person the most important factor to don't go crazy is the concepts of "separation of concern".
Even though it makes the development slower (*) and quite some times boring it gives back in almost absence of uncertainty and because of repetitive patterns also ease on going back to work on a new/old part/feature.
(*) Because of planning and organisation of the code flows and layers flows, but also compartmentalization of actions (a bad example would be the mix of validation code with CRUD code)
How do you experience the separation of concern? (If you have ever had the chance)
Ps: still earning ~1400€/m, am I worth more? 🤔4 -
This is my story.
So, as you know, I'm a developer and so does all of you, but before I know about devRant, I was stuck with Instagram.
Yup, I was stuck with those instagram memes who was made by those social media manager who doesn't know shit about coding and post shitty memes anyway with those #memes #codingmemes #coding #codememes and all that fucking annoying hashtags.
I hate it. I was stuck with it for two years but thank god for the people who told me about this app.
I love it, but, there is some problems. As you may know this social media was created by developers for developers, and I know that this app users is very supportive for other users because of the same profession, but what if non-devs people found out about this app and start doing job offers and spamming at our feeds.
What could we do?5 -
Today I was going to wipe an server used for testing purposes, I thought that all vms are just tests that has been left over from restored backups.
Was in the raid controller configuration ready to format the drives an couple of menu navigation away, a colleague came looking for me and said an website was not working, strange...
Turns out that one VM responsible for hosting our internal websites was on that machine -
Dev && story
So i joined this new company where i was hired as an intern, pretty cool stuff as i am still in college and getting paid.
I was selected to be in iOS development
Although i didn't have any previous experience, i was surviving,
To the main point ->
My team had 3 devs, 2 senior and one that has joined just 6 months back,
So after joining now, 2 senior devs have left, leaving just the 2 of us - 1 intern,1dev
The pressure is real!
Will keep u guys updated -
story time
today I learned how to license a git hub project have I finally made it to intermediate developer?
------if Ur interested in a little something I did just for fun--------
https://github.com/vindicit/...12 -
Today I'm gonna interview a guy that's may take my place at the current location\client, it's my time being at the other side of the table x3
Though, I'm gonna do both an interview and if capable a home assignment.
Anything else I need to take into consideration? -
Honest question, if you work in an agile environment, do you prefer story points or counting of hours to gauge tasks?4
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sorry this is rushed
this is more of a story to be honest IDK what I am gonna do it seems like more of the poeple with the ideology of anonyimity is evil seems to surrond me
so at the moment I might need to hang low becuase of projects like IP-RAPID I will be replying for 3days then will try to get the itch off my back called anti anonyimity -
There were times I used to list sites who uses get requests to perform operations . Then I wrote a web interface to get params from users and sent it to those sites via URL .
Times when i did not know what an API is .
What's your story? -
sooo I am in NY and when I heard the contact tracing stuff I was lilke hahahahaahaaa oh shiet the librem phone is expensive2
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Read the latest story I wrote. The story name is "Amir Wishu Sehgal cafe". Trying to present and explain some technical concepts through story.
solothought.com/tutorial/aws-story/
1 -
this is just the funniest thing ever whenever I try to use a DesktopEnviroment I always endup dragging
my mouse to try to get to a diffrent virtual desktop do I use tiling window managers too much q: -
Even if he's emotional, someone on devRant have similar stories/experiences?
http://churyumov.com/2019/02/...2 -
I working on download function feature and full of 8 hour been debuging in local to find out why the download is notworking (this is not the main issue).
And what I found there. All the problem is clear, and I get it know, I've been using fs to save the log (you know download data is big and it's hurting my eyes even when using console.table). And using nodemon for running the project.
Image is just illustrator lol
4
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