47

So I says to the wife, I says, “When you go to Costco tomorrow, I need a new Oral B electric toothbrush. My old one’s battery is no longer able to hold a charge.” I’m picturing her coming back with one that’s pretty similar to the one I had. You turn it on, you brush your teeth, you turn it off.

She comes back with the Oral B Pro 6000. Go on. Look it up. I’ll wait.

So this thing has about 6 modes and Bluetooth that connects you to an app that not only keeps track of how often you brush, but tracks your performance and gives you trophies if you do well at specific tasks and techniques. And there’s a coach to take you on an “oral health journey” depending on your particular goals. There’s even a mount you can buy to attach your phone to your mirror so the app can watch how you brush and give you pointers. I don’t have the mount so I got an 85% on performance because who can hold a phone pointed perfectly at your face while brushing? The final report had what might be the app dev’s attempt at a pun.

It’s 2019 and everyone is judging you. Why not your toothbrush as well?

Comments
  • 11
    "I. HATE. ROBOTS!"

    kudos if you get the ref.
    (Not a great movie, but very fitting!)
  • 8
    Holy fuck that's an expensive ass tooth brush bruh
  • 11
    @Stuxnet the 8000 is USD $165.00. 😱Hopefully it does more than clean teeth and tell bad jokes.
  • 12
    @Stuxnet It was actually on sale and comparable in price to a lesser one that had been in stock the week before but had sold out. But I’m tellin ya. If I ever get a cavity while using this toothbrush, I’m sending the bill to Proctor & Gamble. Along with my performance report, of course.
  • 3
    at wow, thats got a price tag
    i would expect it to make me bacon and eggs for breakfast before using it at that price.
  • 8
    And let me guess, now 689 companies know your brushing habits.
  • 1
    Read this rant in Norm McDonald's voice.
  • 2
    Alexa, brush my teeth?
  • 2
    Ok man time to step up you test coverage. (Toothbrushing coverage)
  • 2
    @Nanos helpful guide but filmed with a potato and does not explain how to choose the right battery
  • 1
    @-vim- this is from the privacy policy

    “How We Collect Your Information

    From mobile applications and internet connected devices.

    To give you the best possible user experience, we may use technologies that collect information from your phone when you use our mobile apps or from “smart” devices in your home. You consent to do this when downloading the app or installing household internet connected devices. This information could include your mobile phone or other device advertising ID, information about your phone’s operating system, how you use the app or device, and your physical location. You will get a pop up notice on your phone or device that gives you the option to accept or reject allowing us to know your precise geolocation (exactly where you are standing or where you are accessing the internet).”
  • 0
    @Nanos the new toothbrush instructions had a bit about battery disposal once it runs out, which I momentarily thought to do with my old toothbrush. But it had a strong emphasis in the diagrams on the proper HAZMAT gear to wear while doing it. I’m all out of HAZMAT gear from the last time I had to clean up mercury powder scattered when I accidentally broke a “green” CFL light bulb.
  • 1
    @iAmNaN this was $100 for a 2-pack. I mean, why should I have all the fun of being judged by my toothbrush?
  • 2
    @stackodev isn't it just a Ni-Mh, at least in the old one
  • 1
    I will never understand electric tooth brush
  • 0
    @electrineer maybe. The instructions for replacing the old battery don’t seem to work for this old of a model (circa 2004).
  • 1
    @hell it’s the same type of rotation that dentist cleaning and polishing tools have. My dentist said that ever since I started using a rotating toothbrush, my teeth have never been better. My “cleanings” are now annual rather than every 6 months and they barely have to do anything. They recommend everyone use them.
  • 2
    @stackodev I'm surprised your dentist hasn't asked you to install an app that lets him review your brushing habits. There is an app for everything these days. Keeps the dev world employed.
  • 3
    This is ridiculous, the app also tracks your brushing through the camera? Srsly? I wonder if it's computed on your phone or within the cloud?
  • 1
    @tuc0w my inner Ted Kaczynzki is fighting with my inner geek on this device. I’m simultaneously fascinated and horrified by how it works and that someone came up with a way to figure out with a camera/Bluetooth app and a mirror how well I’m brushing my teeth.
Add Comment