It finally happened. Upper management is demanding a historical (7+ years) of lines-of-code analysis of our entire code base. They want to justify our positions by validating that the lines-of-code has increased in accordance with the economy. I am not kidding. For every year, they expect some percent increase in our lines of code.

I gotta be fucking kidding me...!?

Bahahahahaha sounds like it's time to break out your BS-ing shoes.

Please rant here accordingly! 😉

That sounds awful, and stupid. Awfully stupid?
It's like expecting a construction worker to put more bricks on top of another than the previous year, without taking into account how many walls he's built (and how big)😑

I'm SO looking forward to your next few rants :D this is gonna end great, trust me

That's bullshit. Good luck!

Easy, just add big ass readme files. That counts as code, right?

Just add meaningless internal commentary and then give some random reason as to why each line is adding in economic value. Problem solved.

for(
var i =
0;
i < somelist
.Length;
i++
)
{
var x;
x =
somelist[i];
var y;
y =
x;
somelist[i] =
x
*
y
;
}

Time for a new job!

I consider reducing LOC an improvement

!mgmt

Just write things in a less efficient way, with more lines. And once they ask why everything is suddenly slower tell them you decided to write things with more code because of their demands and you didn't want to lose your job.

Write a maximizer that works the opposite of a minimizer! Instead of inlining, it separates EVERY LITTLE THING to their own classes with factories and shit, PROFIT.

Update: We didn't have 7 years worth of historical data, but we could extract about 3 years worth. Couple of major projects, services, etc we were able to justify our existence with the steadily growing graph.
Wonder if all this has anything to do with when a DBA deployed a stored proc with a miss-joined query that accidently released over a million $$ worth of orders we didn’t have inventory for? If it wasn’t for a hiccup in the card processor (no customer credit cards were actually charged), we might have been on the national news.
The president/CEO himself was waiting by the doors of our offices 7:30AM the next morning, so I suspect there were much shouting and gnashing of teeth behind the 3 hour closed door meeting. Good news, no one was fired. Bad news, we're on the CEOs -bleep- list. Gonna have to walk on egg shells for a while.

Now that's a proper rant, god damn! Best of luck to you and your colleagues.

@Aethiris easier. Just write a script that inserts new lines after each word in the source, then recompile (unless python 😀).

@muliyul or just global replace space with space new line xD

quit that Job and start your own coding business