AboutNerdiest alcoholic at my current space-time coordinates. Buffalo wing hipster.
SkillsWebdev, WebDesign, sarcasm, JS, xcode, coldFusion, Doctor Who, codeIgniter, php, An odd understanding of the history of Gotham City, freeLance, chrome, mobile, an encyclopedic knowledge of West Wing,
LocationNorth of Dorne
Joined devRant on 10/3/2016
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Boss: Why did you schedule a party?
Me: newGuy just made his first productive contribution to the group.
Boss: That's great! On that note I'd like you to meet superNewGuy. He's like newGuy but comes with the added bonus of being unfireable!
Me:........... You don't get cake........1
Boss: I was looking over our expenses and was wondering why you are ordering a new piece of equipment?
Me: (I stand up & address my fellow code-drones) Can everybody save everything right now please. Good? Now newGuy commit your changes.
(Audible typing followed by the entire room groaning.)
Me: He just deleted everything...again and I am running out of backup storage.
Boss: ........So you want 1 of those things or 2?14
My boss: "I have an idea for a very important update that we should push to all our apps ASAP."
Me: "I'm not adding a Santa hat to the icons."
My Boss: "............... Carry on"4
New Guy Day 2: He has deleted the git repo on the project he was assigned to 4 times, written a recursion formula that crashed a server, & knocked my coffee cup onto the floor.
I messaged my boss telling him I am going to hide the body in his trunk.8
That moment when your boss is introducing the new guy and you are silently making a list of all the git repos you need to back up before he makes it to his desk.
When a client refuses to pay you because they don't like the color of their logo.
I was hired to build a website.11
When a client complains about how he can't see the site you just made for him... Because he is looking at a printout... And their printer is out of toner. *sigh*3