58
bytecode
14d

🙁

Every girlfriend I had broke up with me and it was not even my fault...

1. A bi cheating on her girlfriend - girlfriend found out
2. Furry cheating on her boyfriend - she felt bad...
3. Hysteric b** that did not trust me for even 1 second
4. Really nice and sweet girl... that could kill me if she did not take her antipsychotics - told me she is sorry but she wants someone older (I am older than her...) - her ex before me was 42....

To clarify: both 1 and 2 did not tell me they were cheating on someone with me... I only found out after the shit hit the fan.

I feel depressed... I just want to love someone and I want that someone to love me... that's it, I don't even want sex, I just want hugs, mutual trust and someone that I could tell anything on my mind without them judging me...

Comments
  • 17
    Virtual hugs are ok?
  • 11
    Yeah, too much Disney, I guess.
  • 5
    I know exactly what you feel... my ex-gfs didn't do that as far as I know but uh... I don't always trust and was often right...

    I just need the feeling of having arrived so that I don't need to think about tomorrow. Have too many thoughts about anything and everything (un)natural, (il)logical and abstract.

    May the luck be on your side. :P
  • 6
    @NoMad Of course... But they do not help as much as a real hugs...
  • 4
  • 13
    @bytecode I agree. Hugs are great. Cuddling as well.

    I have not been in your shoes, but I can assure you there's someone out there who can and will love you the way you want 🙂 (statistically speaking, your chances are high)
  • 16
    Did they all break up with you at the same time?
  • 3
    @bytecode My comment was about your last paragraph. Unfortunately stuff don't work like that.
  • 6
    Just a quick derail while it came up, but, Are furries still allowed pets?
  • 3
    do you really want love or do you want something else really? 🤔
  • 6
    Can't be broken up with if you never get into relationships 🤣🤣😭🤣
  • 2
    Love yourself 😎
  • 4
    Sadly I hear these issues are very common place.

    A wise old friend of mine told me that all relationships are transitory, that the best you can really hope for is to enjoy each day as it comes, because at some point, tomorrow it will end.

    Always it seems. :-(

    I used to suffer similar to you.

    Then I met someone who I wanted to end things with when they got threatening if I didn't do what they wanted !

    Who needs death threats !

    They previously had mental health issues, so perhaps the lesson there is to avoid anyone who might go crazy on you !

    I wish I had some useful advice on how to spot the good ones.

    Maybe someone else has, as I haven't figured that one out yet.
  • 6
    No worries. Somewhere between 12th and 18th girlfriend you find out feelings aren't that important after all. When you start forgetting their names is when the real fun begins.
  • 4
    @cprn I drink to that 😜
  • 3
    Get a dog/cat
    Play multiplayer games
    Give it time, I guess?
  • 1
    Hey bro,

    I know how you feel and it is very depressing. Keep your head up and enjoy the things you do have in life, love will come eventually.

    I am in a similair situation where im alone in a city because my ex girlfriend left me after moving here.

    A couple of months ago I met this wonderful girl but she was living temporarily in The Netherlands and she left to go back to France again.

    Currently I am also feeling the need for a soul to love, to be around, to feel comfortable and its making me feel depressed sometimes.

    At those times I try to realise what I do have in my life and then I realise that I have a great job, friends and a family.

    Love will find its way to you eventually
  • 3
    I've had girlfriends. I have none now. I've given up on having a girlfriend. The end. 🤷
  • 1
    Sometimes I wonder why loving someone is really hard for other people.
  • 1
    > Love will find its way to you eventually

    Maybe..

    I'm reminded of a friend of mine whose last 20 years of their life they was single.

    Hopefully I won't have to wait that long !

    Doing my best to improve myself so I'm more attractive and beat the competition a little.

    The hard part is figuring out the most important variables to focus on.
  • 1
    Find yourself a better psychobitch: https://youtube.com/watch/...

    Seriously tho, you seem to have identified a harmful pattern there, hope you can break out there!
  • 1
    Dam, you had 4 girlfriends while I'm still having troubles to find just one!
  • 1
    🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗❤️
  • 5
    @JFK422 easy peasy: be hot, rich, and/or charming.

    Also, don't ask out a girl you don't know as a friend. (AKA step 1: find female friends)
  • 2
    @NoMad real step 1 is be hot

    Step 2 don't be not hot
  • 1
    @remove32 works most of the time. But then you get like a few % of the population who is not into looks but instead are into other stuff like personality, which your looks mainly work against you for those cases.
  • 3
    Learn to enjoy the time that you have with yourself, I think that this might be one of the best thing that you can do for yourself, at least that is what I'm trying and I hope that I'll get out of this shitty feeling with time.
    Enjoy the little things, I hope that you'll be ok :)
  • 2
    furry, hysteric, antipsychotics...

    except for #1, a one line summary of their personality suggest these persons could tend to have traits suggesting emotional instability, which, while being very attractive to some at first sight, makes it generally harder to build a stable long-term relationship.

    while i don't want to dismiss the personal struggle of people facing mental health issues or encourage the people around them from giving up on them, i have to recognize that it can make personal relationships very hard and if it makes you very depressed, then maybe avoiding having partners with emotional instabilities could be a good idea.

    Of course this doesn't cover the whole trust issue/lying/cheating side of relationships, but it should be hard enough with someone stable; don't go for the hard mode.

    TLDR: a wise man once told me: don't fuck crazy
  • 2
    Don't jump into next relationship soon .Take time to forget the ex , move on positively . Then eventually when you meet someone who can be your soul mate . Don't rush into relationship soon , spend time to understand better then get committed . So this can reduce your chance of further breakup
  • 5
    I always tell myself to care less about these things and carry on with doing the things I like.

    As long as you are yourself and keep doing what you love, the right person will appear in your life at some point. This thought is what keeps me going on bad days.

    I’ve had a girlfriend once but I realized that I pretended to be someone different in order to keep the relationship going. We were not compatible. I realized that these kinds of relationships won’t get you anywhere and will instead make you feel miserable.
  • 1
    @RantSomeWhere

    I reckon I can afford to pretend for 3 months out of every year. :-)

    Will be interesting to see how long they stick around once my spending money runs out !

    Buy hey, only 9 months to wait until next year when I can afford another one !
  • 1
    @RantSomeWhere

    The thought that keeps me going is totting up my points and working out that I'm a little better than the worst local guys, so in theory I should be able to get something.

    Then I just have decide if that something is good enough, or do I want to wait until I've improved myself a bit to get something a little better.

    I reckon gym work is an important variable.

    (Home gym is cheaper!)
  • 2
    @RantSomeWhere quick question : did you turn into a better person? When you were in that relationship I mean.
  • 1
    @NoMad “better” depends on the perspective. Better in the sense that I met her expectations of a bf, yes.

    From my point of view, i was not necessarily a better person, but just different. I don’t like pretending to be somebody else just to meet someone else’s expectations and values, what matters most to me is how comfortable I feel. I guess that deep down, I’m an egoistic cunt.

    But yeah, the story’s kinda complicated. It happened a couple of years ago and i don’t really like these memories.
  • 3
    @Nanos I have no idea what on God’s green earth you’re talking about
  • 2
    @RantSomeWhere you're starting to sound like my ex. 😐
  • 2
    😬
  • 8
    !!MASS REPLY CHRONOLOGICALLY FROM MY LAST COMMENT!!

    @electrineer no - I just summed up my ex-gfs that I was in relationship with at some point in my life

    @norman70688 you mean the "mutual love" part?

    @odite yes... she had a cat

    @irene I want love and hugs - that's it

    @remove32 true but no

    @Nanos I feel ya

    @cprn meh... not remembering people's names is an everyday thing for me

    @NoMad cheers!

    @mahaDev Had a cat... It died... I don't like multiplayer games... Everything I play is usually singleplayer or I can safely ignore other people (ehm... WoW) and it will play like singleplayer... Well... you see, the problem is I am alone for far too long...

    @LilDev thank you, it seems that we are on the same boat... the only difference is that I have a shitty family, only one true friend who is >900km from where I live... and the work... I mean... The pay is great but the code that I am maintaining is a shitshow

    @hack you and me both... you and me both...

    @JFK422 trust me, having a girlfriend that does not love you is even worse than having troubles finding one... I have no clue how I got into a relationship with any one of them... I am having troubles finding a girlfriend myself

    @Superviral thank you 🤗🤗❤️

    @NoMad hahaha... step 1: find female friends
    step 2: don't get firendzo... aaand you failed

    @AlexAC53 ever tried living alone in a capital city? yea... not fun... not fun at all, you feel alone even when you are literally surrounded by people 24/7

    @littledaxter well... the issue is that I just have bad luck and I only find out about those personality traits after I get into a relationship with them...

    @RantSomeWhere @NoMad well... that just got weird :D
  • 1
    @bytecode

    I find chatting to them online first for a while can give me to find to find out about their character traits.

    I notice they show up more when playing multi-player games with them..

    Then it takes me from 5 minutes to 5 years to find out we won't get on !

    Also been alone in a capital city, not fun !

    I think friendzone is just you are in their backup pile..

    I'm not sure anyone really ever loves you, they just like you at that moment in time, and 5 minutes later, have run off with someone else..

    Kinda like if you get a pet and someone else offers it a better meal..

    Related link:

    https://theguardian.com/lifeandstyl...

    I like multiplayer games, but it is very hard to find anyone who wants to play with you, and doesn't just want to play with you because you have sick gear and levelled to the max..
  • 0
    @Nanos friend zone is not a backup pile it's never pile.
  • 1
  • 1
    @NoMad for the record, I was not the one to break up or hurt her feelings, I’m not that kinda person.
  • 2
    @irene

    Never is a long time. :-)

    Backup piles tend to consist of more than one friend, as such someone is always going to be unselected.

    But it is good to have spares..

    I only really found out about backup piles after spotting someone (via google..) online who I knew years ago talking about their life when I knew them.

    I thought they was just friends, I had no idea they had a secret crush on me and they was the one sending valentine cards !

    Why did they not say so when I asked them !

    Oh right, because between them sending me one, and me asking, someone worth more points than me asked them out..

    So I just became a backup that was never utilized because they always found someone better..

    Well, they are still alive, so you never know. :-)

    Even if its been 30 years..

    But their other half is worth $1 Million and I'm still technically in debt..

    So a long way to catch up !
  • 1
    Google is great you know, if you know someone's email address, you can google them, and even if they are using an assumed name on YouTube, it will link the two and tell you !

    I bet not many folk know that..

    The other fatal flaw of course when trying to hide yourself on YouTube, is not to put up videos with yourself in the background..

    Or showing the street outside your house, since google street view is a great way to search roads and find out just where that spot is !

    So, they did live near me then !
  • 1
    @RantSomeWhere 😕 ... I did break up.

    Either way, it does not matter anymore. I've been in love since then, but I didn't settle because I raised the bar. Never settling for guys like him ever again. That was my take away lesson 😜
  • 0
    @bytecode actually I had to think about that, but figured that friendzone just means she's not that into you. Like, if the feelings were mutual and she was attracted to you, would she be friendzoning you? Nah brah!
  • 1
    @NoMad yeah, I guess mine is that the right person will only appear once you are yourself, even if that sounds weird.

    We’re still quite good friends after that confusing mess, by the way. It’s not like we hated each other, we just realized we were not made for one another.
  • 1
    @RantSomeWhere fun fact: mine did massively fuck up his own life after breakup. Which is also how I realized he was pretending to be something he wasn't. Which is heartbreaking given that he was one of my closest friends. Which is why I dislike him now.

    Anyways, my point is that if somebody inspires you to be a better version of you, maybe that is not a bad thing, despite the great amount of effort it may take.
  • 1
    @NoMad that’s an interesting way to look at it. I will consider it next time.
  • 1
    @NoMad hm... that's also an option...
  • 1
    > the right person will only appear

    > once you are yourself,

    I've been myself for years, it didn't make any difference !

    Now I'm improving myself.

    Not that I wasn't doing that before, but now I reckon I know just what areas to focus on more than others, which I wasn't aware of before that they was so important.

    I got a fancy watch, not because I really want to tell the time, but apparently, watches make a difference.

    I'm working on getting athletic, because apparently that matters.

    No one likes you if you are fat !

    Not unless you are rich..
  • 2
    @Nanos yes, if "yourself" doesn't meet modern standards no one will care about your existence.
  • 2
    Same goes for men. The average Joe does not appreciate love and affection. He appreciates a nice body and a pretty face and a timid attitude.

    And that's why the average Joe gets the average Jane who looks for a handsome enough guy with lots of money.

    I mean, if you think money is all women care about, you deserve the gold diggers you get. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
  • 3
    @NoMad yay, I am not average
  • 3
    @bytecode you sure aren't! Based on the history in the post I can say for sure you're attractive, and based on the way you've been treated but have not gotten back at people, I know you're a kind person. You already fit like 2% of the population, so definitely not average! 😉
  • 1
    @bytecode I mean you can't be a bag of piss yourself, you get what you're worth.
  • 2
    @norman70688 oh... idk what you are thinking about. I meant stuff that's imo pretty normal, like: I support LGB, some people would put me on a stake and start a fire under me, I want a girl who wouldn't mind it at all, not like "cool" and then she thinks *he is a weirdo*
  • 0
    @bytecode I can suggest you someone who is not going to judge you based on that particular example :D
  • 0
    I usually avoid social contact, when I feel lonely I just focus on my work. I understand you tho, feeling lonely can really bring you down.
  • 0
    @remove32 unless you r
    Are forced to.
  • 0
    @TheOneFuzzyBit how are you gonna get forced into a relationship? Like what?
  • 0
    🤗😚 it gets better. Believe me 😌. You should be thankful that you broke up with those. Now you are single for the better ones. 😊
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