1. Better pay.
2. Better Dev work.
3. An xbox/PS4 in office.
4. Better planning.

I was playing Science trivia with Google assistant. Looks like she didn't want me to get all 5 answers right.

Also, 0.62 != 0.62

I love it how managers try to act busy by going through the same mails over and over again while waiting for a new one so that they can instantly reply to it and show themselves off as "prompt" and screw us, who have to actually do some work, about not sending mails promptly and they have like this one single excel sheet opened at all times and they just make one obscure entry whenever they get an update and WOW, some of them don't even know how the fuck you spell Avro (spelt it as avero, handwritten) and oh, not to mention waste everyone's time by asking a mundane question that other managers are so eager to answer, one by one, over and over and did I mention THAT THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW HALF THE PRODUCT.

They removed the coffee machine from our floor.

Mother fuckers.

......

Procrastinate.

I forgot my earphones at home today.

I travelled in the metro today.

I have a massive mother fucking headache today.

I feel like killing someone today.

About once or twice a week, so I don't really remember any particular scenarios.

Zomato is down! No dinner for me, I guess! XD

Today is Friday. People are generally happy on Friday because it's the weekend.

I have a production upgrade tonight, which potentially can go through the weekend.

This is my second production upgrade support in a week. I'm sleep deprived and getting disinterested and seemingly in the want for a holiday.

Thank you, dear 3rd party vendor replying to my ticket to my work email and sending me my new password IN FUCKING PLAINTEXT!

Dear IT,

STOP FUCKING RESETTING SERVERS AT 9PM AT NIGHT, WHEN DEV PRODUCTIVITY IS AT IT'S EPITOME!!!!

DO YOU EVEN FUXKING UNDERSTAND THAT IT TAKES 20 MINUTES TO GET ALL THE SERVICES BACK FUCKING UP? ALL THE FOCUS BUILT UP, GONE IN A FLASH BECAUSE YOU COULDN'T KEEP IT IN YOUR PANTS TILL LATER.

sincerely,
mahaDev,
mind-fucked software engineer.

Made a change.
Patched some files.
Ran the app.
App not working as intended.
Freak out.
Check code.
Think of random solution.

Waste an hour.

Realise that files weren't patched properly.
Kick myself in the head.

This week's group rant is THE BEST EVER!!!!!

"I can write a script to do your job"

I'd answer the question, but whenever I sit and I'm completely in the zone, there always someone who'll fucking tap me on the shoulder.

Despite the hoodie, earphones and the obvious fact that if I go any closer to the screen, I'd be stuck to it.

Wk119 just changed topic? :/

I feel like this shit week. 🙂 But I like my desk and chair. Cozy and compact.

Just today.

A production issue was assigned to me a while ago and the OSE and I were volleying it back and forth (I don't have access to even see anything production) because neither of us had any idea of what to do.

Here's the twist: the OSE's analysis (and my assumptions) of the problem was off, so we were basically running around in circles.

Today, he and I had a good one on one as the only priority to put this mother fucker to rest. Turns out he assumed a lot of things in his hurry to give his analysis to his boss.

Confirmed a few things, lo and behold, it's a non issue. That's how the legacy, 13 year old system (that no one in the entirety of the company knows end to end anymore) works.

Fucking eureka.

Oh, production .. why art thou so terribly, horribly fucked up?

On my bucket list.

Where do you find the willpower not to strangle people around you, especially shit managers and asshat clients, with a wired mouse and/or replace their teeth with the keys off a keyboard dipped in tobasco sauce

I had this song stuck in my head the whole fucking day today. And I really, really *REALLY* wanted to listen to it. Once. Without any distractions or breaks. While working. And focusing on work. Matching the tempo of the song to My work rhythm.

SO WHY THE FUCK COULD PEOPLE NOT WAIT FOR 4 MINUTES AND 35 SECONDS AND ****CHOOSE**** TO IGNORE EARPHONES, A BLACK HOODIE COVERING MY ENTIRE FUCKING FACE AND THE LACK OF RESPONSES WHEN YOU CALLED THE FIRST 2 TIMES????????????????

Worst part? It was JUST THAT ONE SONG WHILE WORKING. OTHER TIMES, NOBODY CARES I EVEN FUCKING EXIST!

I couldn't witness my 666 moment, but someone suggested that I wait for my 999 and flip it.

So being the stupid fuck I am, I did it!

Just now... Got a job to create patch files for a couple of jars, which may or may not have varying class files. In total, I have to decompile, check, add and synchronize about 30 class files in 6 jars with a new functionality (that I didn't write). 🙂

FUCK PRODUCTION! WHY CANT YOU MAINTAIN ONE MOTHERFUCKING JAR?

OH? YOU'RE SUPERSTITIOUS THAT ONE TINY, ANT-SHIT SIZED CHANGE IN ONE SIMPLE FUNCTIONALITY WILL FUCK UP *OUR* PRODUCT?

FUCK MANAGEMENT! YOU DON'T HAVE CONFIDENCE IN YOUR *OWN* PRODUCT!

OH? CUSTOMER COMES FIRST? HAVE THE BALLS TO DEFEND YOUR OWN FUCKING SELF AND PRODUCT TO THE CLIENT OR THEY'RE GONNA MAKE YOU YOUR BITCH AND TIE A GAGBALL DIPPED IN HOT SAUCE AROUND YOUR MOUTH! HOW.. THE FUCK.. DID YOU MISS THAT LOGIC??????

Best part, they want it by tomorrow, and they don't wanna test it. Guess who's gonna get slaughtered after a week? ME! 🙂

Yesterday our company CEO gave a presentation on the plan for our company's growth.

Let's just say that I'm not too sure that the goals he's set might not be met because I know the way we work.

But if those goals are met, it'll be a huge hit. Provided all the stars align and the PMs decide to do things right for once.

Can't decide what to do in terms of asking for those better projects that have been mentioned or just lay low and stay sad because the work that I'm getting sucks (no actual development just site support for the past 6 months).

Fuck you google. Fuck you and your "you can only use my shit everywhere and if you have another account you can suck it's cock, but I'm not gonna accomodate it" attitude.

I can't even import my outlook contacts into the "google" contacts app, which is the only contacts app on my phone.

You actually mean that I gotta export my outlook contacts physically and then import them into your ass-tarded contacts platform to see even see them, let alone call them up?

Fuck. You.

Can someone please suggest alternatives/work arounds?

So I opened devRant to find the new *bling* expressions feature added to the avatars.

So I set my expression to happy because nowadays, for some reason, even though work has been tough, I've liked it. And things have been good. Mostly because my lead is on holiday and the acting lead is a hundred times better than him in all aspects (micro management and as a Dev).

Cut to the evening when I'm walking home, the lead calls me up to inform me on a production bug that had to be taken up (acting lead had already asked me to look into it, we had an agreement). And I *HATE* the way he assigns tasks and acts like I'm a wee baby who can't even find his mother's tit.

Anyhoo, ended up changing my avatar expression to majorly fucking frustrated because of the Damn phone call.

So kudos to @dfox and @trogus to adding these little features which make people a bit more expressive!

I think I hate Kerberos enabled services as a first impression.

Fucking ticket fucking motherfucker

After using maven for so long, suddenly using ant feels like such a drag.

10 minutes of wait. Can't even do anything productive/destructive in those 10 mins.