I have now turned the name board in my cubicle to hide my name.

Why you ask? Not because I don't like my name, or dislike my name board (there's this little design on it which is just delightful).

It is to make it a bit more difficult for new morons who don't know who I am or where I sit. Can't do much more than that because I have a desktop.

The entire product.

I am either so fed up with work or I am sleep deprived that I actually went to work with my t-shirt inside out, and only noticed it when I looked at myself in the mirror.

Pretty sure I'm fed up with work.

NullPointerException

So my (windows 10) laptop decided to suddenly forget about its Bluetooth capability. And about its Bluetooth hardware.

Now, I did not restart my system, I just left it idle for a while. Heck, I played rainbow six before leaving it idle (with a Bluetooth mouse, of course)

Tried checking for the settings (didn't find any settings related to Bluetooth service), didn't find it in device manager, useful the troubleshooter (bastard says the problem is I have no Bluetooth hardware installed), tried restarting the system, checked in bios menu (couldn't see hardware info printed in bios system info), tried updating/reinstalling the driver.

The hell am I supposed to do?

Into a bunch of open source hogging meat heads because no one likes paying for things their own peers toil days and nights creating and creating more under documented over expensive licensed stuff (because agile) while throwing buzzwords to clients just make business while simultaneously choking the life out of underpaid overworked devs and engineers with the skill of running away from responsibility trying to save their own skin with the inept ability to look like a hero/King at the end of the day with a single mail sent with psychic communication or the lack thereof with people who are slogging their asses off to fix a problem created to the vulnerabilities and bugs introduced due to the impatience of the same moron who couldn't afford to give his employees/subordinates more time to figure out an elegant solution to a non existent problem created in the confusion of improperly documenting unnecessary requirements of an ignorant or unknowing client who is way too eager to process way too much load with way too less resources all the while whining about lack of features theyre not gonna use.

It's pissing off every time I get one of these.

You know what's better then the Twilight love story (or any love story for that matter)?

The contract between an Indian client and an Indian Vendor. It's the perfect marriage!

Both hate each other, can't stop fucking each other, one pays money to the other and the other gives head to one, the underlings are always caught between who should be followed and both of them DONT LEAVE EACH OTHER ALONE!

happy married life, buggers.

Algo strikes back: Christmas edition

WARN: Heavy Sarcasm ahead

I just *LOVE* taking calls non-fucking-stop on my fucking birthday, ALL DAY LONG(!!!!!) because our most *DEAREST* fucking client can't get theirs up unless they escalate shit to the highest levels, namely the fucking CEO who loves to sell the company's self esteem just so that he can gag on the clients penis. Best part? It happened RIGHT.WHEN.MY.VACATION.STARTED.

*I LOVE MY JOB SOOOO MUCH*

Supporting a production upgrade on a Friday night without extra allowances because I screwed up the one on Tuesday night! Yay!

"hey, can you please help me out with this, it isn't working"

"What's it say?"

"I dunno, It's giving (not throwing) some exception/error" (no clear distinction between them)

Well, shit. Did NOT expect Java to do that in case of some undesirable flow in code! Stack trace, error message, what was happening when the exception (or actual error) occurred as inferred from logs... Nope.

Great!

Yesterday, my manager said "you don't have to worry, I'll take care of it"

Today, my manager says "finish it today by any means possible, otherwise I'm gonna get screwed by my boss"

Oh well...

There are comments in prod code which say "need to change after POC" or something similar in multiple places.

Also, something that was designed to check something, but the call is made in such a way that it always returns true.

Best part, all the original authors left the company before I joined this team.

1. Better pay.
2. Better Dev work.
3. An xbox/PS4 in office.
4. Better planning.

I was playing Science trivia with Google assistant. Looks like she didn't want me to get all 5 answers right.

Also, 0.62 != 0.62

I love it how managers try to act busy by going through the same mails over and over again while waiting for a new one so that they can instantly reply to it and show themselves off as "prompt" and screw us, who have to actually do some work, about not sending mails promptly and they have like this one single excel sheet opened at all times and they just make one obscure entry whenever they get an update and WOW, some of them don't even know how the fuck you spell Avro (spelt it as avero, handwritten) and oh, not to mention waste everyone's time by asking a mundane question that other managers are so eager to answer, one by one, over and over and did I mention THAT THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW HALF THE PRODUCT.

They removed the coffee machine from our floor.

Mother fuckers.

......

Procrastinate.

I forgot my earphones at home today.

I travelled in the metro today.

I have a massive mother fucking headache today.

I feel like killing someone today.

About once or twice a week, so I don't really remember any particular scenarios.

Zomato is down! No dinner for me, I guess! XD

Today is Friday. People are generally happy on Friday because it's the weekend.

I have a production upgrade tonight, which potentially can go through the weekend.

This is my second production upgrade support in a week. I'm sleep deprived and getting disinterested and seemingly in the want for a holiday.

Thank you, dear 3rd party vendor replying to my ticket to my work email and sending me my new password IN FUCKING PLAINTEXT!

Dear IT,

STOP FUCKING RESETTING SERVERS AT 9PM AT NIGHT, WHEN DEV PRODUCTIVITY IS AT IT'S EPITOME!!!!

DO YOU EVEN FUXKING UNDERSTAND THAT IT TAKES 20 MINUTES TO GET ALL THE SERVICES BACK FUCKING UP? ALL THE FOCUS BUILT UP, GONE IN A FLASH BECAUSE YOU COULDN'T KEEP IT IN YOUR PANTS TILL LATER.

sincerely,
mahaDev,
mind-fucked software engineer.

Made a change.
Patched some files.
Ran the app.
App not working as intended.
Freak out.
Check code.
Think of random solution.

Waste an hour.

Realise that files weren't patched properly.
Kick myself in the head.

This week's group rant is THE BEST EVER!!!!!

"I can write a script to do your job"

I'd answer the question, but whenever I sit and I'm completely in the zone, there always someone who'll fucking tap me on the shoulder.

Despite the hoodie, earphones and the obvious fact that if I go any closer to the screen, I'd be stuck to it.