25
b2plane
22d

I am now officially 23 years old.

So many hours of work invested
So many countless blood spilled
So much sweat made
So many years passed
So many projects worked on

Summed up in 0 successful projects

If someone were to ask me to showcase what I had done in 23 years of my life, I cannot show them something that no longer exists. The projects are dead. I cannot even prove my friends what I had done other than blindly say what I had done. But behind the scenes I worked so much and am completely demotivated by all of the pressure from failure. I have actually never felt so bad on my birthday. 2020 really is the worst year ever. I feel like a failure while life is just exponentially passing by.....

Comments
  • 16
    How the fuck do you bleed while coding?
  • 15
    @Stuxnet press ctrl enough times in a week and it happens πŸ˜…

    *looks at my pinky*

    At 23 I was jobless, only worked on side projects to learn from and was living off government payments, although living is a stretch of a word there.

    ~10 years on it's a whole other story, don't burden yourself with failure, burden yourself with getting out of that rut and catching your whale.

    Ps: Happy Birthday 🧁
  • 9
    Your 23 that is a win in itself, be 43 and going through same.
  • 6
    23 is the beginning. You have your entire career ahead of you. And then maybe a couple more after that. Enjoy, and happy birthday!
  • 4
    @C0D4 @hash-table @bahua thanks a lot guys❀️🍻πŸ₯‚

    @Stuxnet sometimes you simply gotta piss blood to code a sophisticated project
  • 10
    @b2plane

    I switched careers at 37, I went through the worst as well, but with a family that relied on me. It was hard, now that is in past, and it ancient memory, we are doing good now, I think that is how it goes for everybody. you are 23 you have big head start. don't worry about worst 2020 you have 2030 and 2040 to look forward to. Happy B-day.
  • 5
    @b2plane if you're pissing blood the feeling of not having anything to show for 23 years of life isn't the most worrisome part for you.
  • 11
    Us programmers are an unconfident lot aren't we?

    When I was 23 I thought I was invincible and anything was possible.

    Damn if disillusionment doesn't age you a decade!

    Make something. Anything. Start today. Do it. Do it now. Decide on it. I mean it. Right *now* this very *instant. No I'm not joking. Git clone. Npm start. *SOMETHING*. seriously. Even just one step.

    Do even one step towards it.

    You're hoping for others approval.

    Others approval doesn't matter.

    It doesn't matter at all.

    In fact, to illustrate: I don't approve of you and your post. Not because I don't like you, but for the sake of highlighting something important.

    Does that matter? That I don't approve?

    Would it matter more if we knew each other?

    No, it doesn't fucking matter.

    Get cracking. Make something.

    You'll find the more you DO instead of *thinking* about something, the more your uncertainty will vanish.

    ..because you'll be too busy doing, instead of worrying.
  • 5
    @Wisecrack

    Yep. Indecision is the biggest obstacle to confident productivity.
  • 4
    @b2plane A projects failiure mustn't be caused by devs... I think is more often than not the customer's fault. Don't take it personal, you did succeed with the projects and the good thing of having a dead project is to not have to fix anything and neither communicate with shitty clients.
  • 5
    Similar situation in my 50's, so it might not get better with age !

    They say you learn the most from your mistakes, rather than your successes.

    So we must be wiser !

    What lessons can we share about being more successful ?

    I rack my brains going over how I did things in the past, and could I have in hindsight done things any differently.

    Most of time, I still think I did the best I could given the circumstances.

    What wisdom do I get from all of that, well, perhaps sometimes the circumstances aren't good enough for a project to succeed, no matter what you do.

    As such, maybe choose more carefully which projects you invest time and resources in.

    Project A might sound good, but maybe Project B would be a better option.

    What if there is only Project A on the table..

    Perhaps wait a while until a better project turns up.
  • 7
    > You're hoping for others approval.

    >

    > Others approval doesn't matter.

    This in a nutshell.
  • 1
    Every project I (or others) wasn't paid for keeping alive is dead as well, that includes everything I did till my late twenties (I started programming as a kid, am 31 now). Don't beat yourself up about it, I still put a link to my Github in my resume as a proof I can actually write stuff and it helps.

    When I was 23 I didn't even try to do big successful projects, I just played around for fun or made tiny contributions to open source projects. Didn't stop me from starting a career as a developer and being responsible for quite some very alive projects.

    I just can't be bothered maintaining stuff in my free time and I think that's okay.

    PS.: Happy Birthday!
  • 2
    Your 20s are more about gaining new knowledge than building a legacy.

    It can be tough going into an interview without a portfolio, but often you can talk your way through it, showing you have experience with technologies by asking some smart questions about the company's product.
  • 2
    I will favorite this post since I am in my early 20s as well and going through the same shit.
  • 3
    "2020 really is the worst year ever"
    --> "So far"
  • 1
    I'm 40 and just started learning code to get out of manual testing and onto automation work. So I think you're doing fine for being 23. Or I'm doing terrible for being 40.

    FUNTIMES
  • 1
    @Stuxnet typing on one of those ultra thin keyboards so fashionable these days oughta get it done in a couple coding sessions...
  • 1
    > tough going into an interview without

    > a portfolio, but often you can talk your

    > way through it,

    Never seems to work for me that.

    Even when I listed one of my hobbies as nuclear reactor design, that didn't even cause them to blink.
  • 0
    @Nanos "nuclear reactor design"

    Adam is that you?

    I too like to play factorio!
  • 1
    @Wisecrack

    More this kind of thing:
  • 1
    @Nanos holy shit! It's alien technology! Get em!

    That's really cool. What is it exactly? (If you don't mind me asking).
  • 1
    @Wisecrack

    Polywell fusion reactor.

    Related links:

    https://youtube.com/watch/...

    > Should Google Go Nuclear?

    > Clean, cheap, nuclear power

    > (no, really)

    https://ialtenergy.com/polywell-fus...

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/...
  • 1
    Bruh you've spent the majority of those years as a kid, you have lived for 23 years not worked for 23 years. Even then there's more to life than this stuff

    Cheer up and hope You had a nice birthday
  • 1
    @Wisecrack πŸ™πŸ™πŸ™πŸ™πŸ™πŸ™πŸ™πŸ™πŸ™πŸ™πŸ™πŸ™πŸ™πŸ™πŸ™πŸ™πŸ™πŸ™πŸ™πŸ™πŸ™πŸ™πŸ™πŸ™πŸ™πŸ™πŸ™πŸ™πŸ™thank you
  • 1
    @Wisecrack..........im so fucking sorry i accidentally clicked report instead of reply to your comment....
  • 0
    @b2plane ahahahahahaha. Done that more times than I want to admit.
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