I'm not an iOS expert, I just wanted to get Google ads on my iOS app so that I could make a few petty dollars at the expense of my users. Is that too much to ask?

I started by following Google's instructions: install cocoapods, copy and paste some swift code... Compile failed, app broke. Carefully retrace my steps. Nothing.

Stackoverflow (praise be with them) suggests upgrading Xcode. Go to app store and click to upgrade Xcode. No progress bar, no status updates, just that pissy little spinner for several minutes. I become impatient try a few more times. It ain't happening.

Stackoverflow (holy of holies, defender of the weak) points me to an alternate source for Xcode, on the app store dev console. 4GB and some time later, an attempt to unzip gives "unknown error". Genocide of sorts.

Stackoverflow (all that is pure, all that is kind, all... I think you get it) says upgrade your OS. I tried months ago but I had issues with that pissy little spinner. Persist. 5GB and a "heavy-year" of time later (sorry), it installs. Then Xcode installs. Then bar a few errors, the app compiles.

So after almost 24 hours, life resumes. The lesson.. respond to all obscure iOS errors by upgrading. If fully upgraded, calmly acquire a baseball bat and destroy your machine. Make sure you have a good book nearby in case of either event.

Thank you for reading my rant. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to pay Apple
$150 so that I may list my app in the app store.

  • 13
    Xcode... Always a good rant subject.
  • 2
    Yeah that did my head in when latest version of Xcode wouldn't update, and no message to tell you that you need to update your OS.
  • 5
    There's nothing swift about Swift. But hey...at least it's not that unholy abomination Objective-C.
  • 0
    See the $150 ($99 where I live) as ad space. You're shown on devices over a billion devices, usually owned by people who actually pays for apps. The license is to lure out in the unserious developers and also earn something if you dont

    I still think it's a bit high, compared to Play Store license.. but oh well
  • 9
    Apple: It just works.

    But, God help you if it doesn't.
  • 1
    I can relate to that, pain of being an iOS developer..
  • 1
    I'd rather pay a one time fee like I did with the Play Store. Want an app? Get an android device then we'll talk, lol
  • 1
    I'll be honest, I've been a developer for roughly 6 years. I haven't encountered such terrible issues! (Lucky me I guess) Sorry to hear the troubles Apple likes to cause.
  • 0
    Never experienced any trouble either, however I only did a few apps so it may be the reason
  • 0
    Welcome! Would you like an apple?
  • 0
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