I’m surrounded by idiots.

I’m continually reminded of that fact, but today I found something that really drives that point home.

Gather ‘round, everybody, it’s story time!

While working on a slow query ticket, I perused the code, finding several causes, and decided to run git blame on the files to see what dummy authored the mental diarrhea currently befouling my screen. As it turns out, the entire feature was written by mister legendary Apple golden boy “Finder’s Keeper” dev himself.

To give you the full scope of this mess, let me start at the frontend and work my way backward.

He wrote a javascript method that tracks whatever row was/is under the mouse in a table and dynamically removes/adds a “.row_selected” class on it. At least the js uses events (jQuery…) instead of a `setTimeout()` so it could be worse. But still, has he never heard of :hover? The function literally does nothing else, and the `selectedRow` var he stores the element reference in isn’t used elsewhere.

This function allows the user to better see the rows in the API Calls table, for which there is a also search feature — the very thing I’m tasked with fixing.

It’s worth noting that above the search feature are two inputs for a date range, with some helpful links like “last week” and “last month” … and “All”. It’s also worth noting that this table is for displaying search results of all the API requests and their responses for a given merchant… this table is enormous.

This search field for this table queries the backend on every character the user types. There’s no debouncing, no submit event, etc., so it triggers on every keystroke. The actual request runs through a layer of abstraction to parse out and log the user-entered date range, figure out where the request came from, and to map out some column names or add additional ones. It also does some hard to follow (and amazingly not injectable) orm condition building. It’s a mess of functional ugly.

The important columns in the table this query ultimately searches are not indexed, despite it only looking for “create_order” records — the largest of twenty-some types in the table. It also uses partial text matching (again: on. every. single. keystroke.) across two varchar(255)s that only ever hold <16 chars — and of which users only ever care about one at a time. After all of this, it filters the results based on some uncommented regexes, and worst of all: instead of fetching only one page’s worth of results like you’d expect, it fetches all of them at once and then discards what isn’t included by the paginator. So not only is this a guaranteed full table scan with partial text matching for every query (over millions to hundreds of millions of records), it’s that same full table scan for every single keystroke while the user types, and all but 25 records (user-selectable) get discarded — and then requeried when the user looks at the next page of results.

What the bloody fucking hell? I’d swear this idiot is an intern, but his code does (amazingly) actually work.

No wonder this search field nearly crashed one of the servers when someone actually tried using it.

Asdfajsdfk.

ALRIGHT

WHAT FUCKING DUMBASS AT APPLE DECIDED THAT YOUR AIRPODS SHOULD PAIR WITH YOUR

CLOSED

FUCKING

MACBOOK

INSTEAD OF YOUR ACTIVELY SEARCHING IPHONE

PRODUCT MANAGERS ARE SHIT

DEVELOPERS ARE SHIT

THE WORST IS KNOWING THEY ALL EARN EASILY 6 FIGURES

AND ARE ABSOLUTE GARBAGE AT EVERYTHING

Lies. Just pure lies.

I had to make 65GB disk space just to update this POS.

Fuck you Apple.

If Apple made an electric car, they would make all the charging stations incompatible every two years.

How do you like them apples ?
Devrant style

No kidding she was looking at me while I was drinking coffee, I almost spill everything up seeing that.

Dammit apple let me have some privacy !

I eat it...

I recently learnt that even chrome and Firefox use Webkit instead of their own engines in the iPad, because Apple requires so. So you can not use any alternative browser. You can not install oder versions of Safari as well. You can not open any browser-console or whatever. What the serious fuck.
I've hated Apple for my life but now I have even reasons!

Apple macbook engineering department hard at work:

1) Some app freezes
2) Then the Touch-bar freezes
3) I hit cmd+alt+esc to force close it
4) Touch bar is frozen so esc won’t work
5) *confused noises*

Fuck Apple

Dear Apple,

Why the bloody fuck do you feel it necessary to replace the desktop backgrounds I have lovingly chosen with the garish color disasters you choose whenever I upgrade macOS?

#fuckapple for holding back the open-web. Most folk don't know that Chrome on iOS is just Safari with a skin; neither Google or Apple want you to know that.

If you hate web-apps on iOS, that is Apple's intentional doing. Apple cannot allow a bug-free and modern browser to run on their iOS devices, else they lose their 30% tax + dev fees cut. There are literally so many crippling bugs in iOS Safari that it HAS to be intentional.

There are email exchanges between Phil Shaffer and Steve Jobs from years past, where Phil didn't believe Apple could continue to gouge users 30%. He argued the open-web would make native apps largely redundant, and so to stay competitive, they'd need to drop the store fees to something reasonable. I suppose Steve Jobs saw a different solution -- just impede browser development.

As someone who develops free and open-source apps, I believe I am doing the world a favour by not supporting a native iOS app. When users complain about missing features in the web-app version, I tell them to take it up with Apple or buy an Android. Guess what? They sometimes actually do just that.

Join me if you have the balls. Tell Apple to FUCK OFF the only way they understand -- threaten their bottom line. At the very least, you'll never need to touch XCode again if you do. If time is money, that alone will make you wealthy.

There's nothing like cleaning out a cupboard of stuff you have long since moved on from only to find this hidden in the corner.

I once had a Mac, it's still a piece of shit and I'm not convinced Apple ever made life easier to use one of these 😅

I just earned my first experience with a "MacBook Pro"..
1. Started in safe mode (reboot solved that)
2. Safari crashed..

I see what you mean with innovation.. NOT!

Oops 😬😬

Apple: this AppleID has been locked for security reasons.
User: Sign Out
Apple: Enter the Apple ID password to turn off Find My iPhone.
User: Turn Off
Apple: You must enter both your Apple ID and password.
User: OK

Apple, please stop bugging me, all I need is to test my websites on Safari occasionally because some customers prefer to use iPhone. Just don't bother me with your Apple ID crap

Had anyone experienced with an impatient boss who require you to complete the project in the month you just recently got hired?

Here's the story, I recently got hired by a company, joined on 1st April 2022, the boss expect me to complete the app for Android and iOS by the end of this month. (An e-commerce applications exactly like shopee.com) Without providing me the Backend ApI , that they mentioned. They just gave me a and expect me to know what's happening at the backend.

He require me to give him a specific date that I can launch the app to play store and Apple store. (From my experience, it take days, weeks or months). He need a milestone of what I need , did , and will do (which predictably that they will reject any new ideas proposed) .

I even considering to quit, but I need opinions. Am I just too sensitive or there's something wrong?

There are indie devs which still builds games for the NES or the first GameBoy... and then we have Apple which goes to extra lenghts to ensure which nobody can develop, publish or install new apps on devices which are too old for the newer iOS versions.

FUCK APPLE
EAT SHIT TIM

will elaborate later

Fuck you ios,storyboad,xibs,xcode. FUCK OFF!! YOU FUCKING ASSHOLES. Literally giving me migrane with your fucking ass constraints!! Fuck you xcode for not having a terminal. Ios is utterly bullshit. Has fucking all kind of devices that I have to set constraint. Fuck you macos. You are slower than a snail. How on earth do you take so much time to build!!
Width, height, constraints, my ass! What is this fucking logic bro. Fuck you apple for making so many device of different sizes and then hiring us to set constraints. Warning warning warning oh what a load of crap!
I would rather die than set your fucking ass constraints.

I don't understand working in FAANG. As an engineer, who inherently has an ultimate say in how the computer worlds you construct work, how do you live with acceptance that you have no say whatsoever in how your company is run? how do you accept doing work that you don't always see the product benefit of?

Yes, FAANG pays a lot to ordinary engineers, but when you were dreaming back when you were a STEM student with fiery eyes, did you really want to be an ordinary engineer, no matter the bankroll? After all, it's not the total company's revenue, it's at least the revenue divided by staff count. In Nintendo, salaries are way higher than in EA, because there are way less people working at Nintendo.

Take any unicorn startup that survived. If you work there, you will have a say, you have an impact, you see the results of your work, and you will earn much more.

I wanted to work at Google as a student, but now I feel like it's just a plastic dream pitched to those inexperienced who don't know any better.

Note that above I don't even touch ethics, like anti-suicide nets in Foxconn factories that make Apple devices, let alone Facebook's and Google's surveillance.

Maybe, if you're somehow an engineer who has proficiency but not care, or if you cared, but was broken, with fire in your eyes extinguished, and now you see your work as "just work", FAANG might be a good choice.

But I can't relate.

I hate apples. I buy them at the grocery store. They taste bland, they don't have any smell and by eating them I don't get any positive emotions.

Well, at least this is the conclusion in my head every autumn after a year of eating store bought apples.

Then the end of autumn comes/winter begins and I visit my grandparents, who live in a village. I get a bag of apples (15-20 kgs) and this bag smells wonderful. Heck, the car smells wonderful for a few days after transporting the bag back home.

My grandparents give around 7-8 varieties of apple, mixed. Each and every one of them tastes amazing, even if I have to cut some spots out from a few. They don't always look perfect, but I think these are the noble ones and the store bought would be the peasants.

I know, it's kind of obvious, that the homegrown fruits are better, but it still amazes my tastebuds every year, plus I'm really grateful for having my grandparents.

Safari 💩

Hey XCode, just wondering why you take THREE HOURS to open

just wondering

Apple is like.. government. Bureaucracy all aover, burgeoise

Waiting for Apple to deprecate their iOS Safari and finally let people install real alternative browsers on their iPhones. Suckfari does not support aspect-ratio either, coincidentally spend hours to find that, now struggling with 100vh and -webkit-fill-available.
Microsoft at least left the choice to install something else besides Internet Explorer before they finally pulled the plug and provided Chromium Edge. Safari isn't the new Internet Explorer, it's worse.

F*** u apple. From time to time I develop Apps for Android and iOS and boy is the whole iOS app distribution workflow bad.

I try for hours to upload a update for my app.

First I needed the readd my credit card then there were internal server errors and after that I needed to regenerate provisioning profiles.

Everytime I use something from apple, then I experience such a bad user experience. "It just works" not anymore friendo...

*INCOMPREHENSIVE YELLING ABOUT SOMETHING MADE BY APPLE*

Okay... see ya guys :D remaining time 2182 hours

God I fucking hate macs.
I got a mac at work. I tried to install ubuntu, with rather questionable results (unfortunately, I expected that) - so I tried to get mac work for me the way I like a system to work. I needed to download slack, simple enough, right? Ha, you wish. It's gotta be done through Apple store, so I went to create an Apple ID inside the Apple Store form. And, well, it just errored out on the submission. Great start. I went then to the settings and created an account there, great success, went back to Apple Store. Unfortunately being logged in at the system level doesn't mean you are logged in to the store. So, I went to log in to the store, simple enough, right? No, nothing's simple with Apple. After logging in I got a message that the Apple ID has not yet been used with Apple Store and that I need to review the account's setting. So, I click the "review" button and... I'm presented with a log in form. Yep, a perfect log in loop. I can't log in because I can't review the account but I can't review the account because I can't log in. Fun :)

You can't just go to the web admin panel for your account to review it for Apple Store, that would too be too easy. After a bit of searching I've found an answer on StackOverflow. You need to log in to iTunes. Through a fucking MUSIC APP. To install a free application from the store you need to log in to a music app. Yes, we're all mad here.

Then, after finding out that to be able to use side buttons on my mouse I need an app that I need to manually restart every time I restart the machine and that I need to have an app to fucking transfer files from an android I need another fucking app, because reading a storage of a linux-based system would be too standards compliant - something in me broke. I found out that installing windows on a mac is officially supported.

Supported doesn't mean that it's easy. I tried to install it trying different solutions from SO, but each time I would get an error that Windows couldn't modify the boot partition. Turns out that even wiping the drive and reinstalling OSX doesn't remove residual files on a boot partition and Windows installer is not allowed to modify them. It took me hunting into some shady looking site to actually find this answer. I have no fucking idea how long it all took me, but, finally, great success, Windows, WSL, side buttons working, I can even install slack from an installer. I just wish I could have those hours of my life back.

Dear Apple, You made an amazing UI but Windows sure does beat you in terms of ease of use.

So my company provided us with Macbooks, I've been a windows users for almost 7-8 years now.

The thing I want to rant about is how we cannot switch between same application windows in full screen.

In Windows, you press tab, voila, the other full screen window. For instance, I want to use 2 google chrome "full" size windows, I cannot just press tab and view the other one, Like whaaaat!
There should be a provision to use the other window of the same application.

The same thins is so easily done in windows machine.

ugh apple has so unfair advantage with safari that i feel anger for chrome and google to be stupid enough to let this go and not sue.

run 40 tabs on safari, each with videos running actively in each tab, it won't even flinch.
run 2 tabs on chrome with static content, and its using 17.5 gb of ram and running 432 threads

m1 laptop. and my total ram is fucking 8gb!

and obviously enough, safari has neither any good extensions nor a good ui and nor a fucking android app to sync history.

browser wars are stupid and making me mad every breath. should i choose between being the dunbest fuck nd run everything in a smooth running browser without any features or should i run in a nice dat syncing browser with great community BUT IS KILLING MY RAM ,BATTERY AND MAKING ME REBOOT EVERY 30 MINS!!!

Taking tomorrow off. I’m just extremely angry at all of this and need to take a mental health break. The constant GitHub and Apple iCloud outages have brought productivity to a halt. I need to get work done and the systems I rely on are down. WTF Microsoft? WTF Apple?

So i have been thinking of buying a MacBook, but am pretty concerned since it currently does not favour my work and interests. I constantly require various emulators of lower sdks as well as emulators of TV/watch for company work. and i have interest in backend/containers , for which i have heard that m1 does not support virtualisation yet. Can anyone share there experience in this domain? Like what is the expected timeline for a processor like m1 to become mainstream and supported by softwares? its 2 years already and macbooks are currently the fastest available laptops, but only for a limited softwares

Google is doing its best but very slowly. I can see on my company's m1 that a very few emulator images are supported by armv8a but their forums say they are actively working on it. weirdly , they have a decent support for many intel processors. I think an i911th gen laptop will also come under the same budget as m1 pro 32gb but don't know which company laptop to buy that isn't a plastic hotshit. I am also not sure about ryzen based processors. heard they are very nice and power friendly , but they pose the same concerns as m1 i guess (docker/virtual box users , anyone?)

My other concern with a non apple laptop is the battery. do you peeps' laptops give any decent battery timings? I hate windows/linux laptops for many reasons, but shitty display, ugly hangs and poor battery are my main "am out" areas.

Source: currently struggling with a 3 years old HP pavillion laptop whose battery goes out in 50 mins and whose screen is so shitty that i can see pixels through a text word and the letters are all blurry and worn out

Me reading all the Apple hateRants on my M1 Pro powered MacBook:

ok, but this is cool. it’s an image that renders differently on apple and non-apple devices. not sure if devRant will process it so it doesn’t work, but this is cool. also a huge vulnerability for apple, but cool.

Money or growth?

I'm mid level SE, looking to get promoted to Senior Level in January 2023.
(context: there are 4 levels before Engineering Manager or Software Architect in our company - 1 (or junior), 2 (or mid), 3 (or senior), 4 (or lead)...

But my total pay (way too good for my age at my place, but Software Engineers specially in FAANG and FAANG-like companies are overpaid here compared to the rest of the market.

My company, an Amazon's competitor in local market, earlier used to pay almost same as Amazon (or slightly higher to attract talent).

Recently, due to splurge of remote jobs, the MNCs started opening more offices (likes of Apple, Google, Amazon, Microsoft, Goldman, Morgan etc) hence the salaries increased even more.

Amazon for example, recently gave 33% increment on base pay recently.

Taking their base salary equal to my total pay (including stocks, bonus).

Should I switch for money or stay for growth?

It’s all a blur but in 5th grade I was using a TRS-80 with a cassette player for storage at the library where my mom worked. Also an Apple IIe at school in the computer lab. My first personal computer was an IBM XT clone with an 8086 processor and dot matrix printer. I bought it after having fun with my cousin’s Commodore 64 and wanting one, but his uncle sold me on the IBM platform as something that I could upgrade over time. I was 13 when I first learned Assembler and BASIC. Big Blue Disk was my favorite subscription software with all the games and other shareware stuff that came every month in the mail.

macOS Monterey, ladies and gentlemen!

Offence taking Siri. :)
"I heard what you said about the new macbook. You're grounded." deletes 4 apps.

FAANG is dead, long live Moana:
- Meta
- Oracle
- Alphabet
- Netflix
- Apple

I can build my .aab, upload it, have it approved, and release it on Google Play before my stupid .apk IS EVEN DONE PROCESSING ON APP STORE CONNECT

WHAT ARE YOU DOING APPLE FIX YOUR STUPID S3 BUCKET OR WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING WITH THE BUILD THAT IT TAKES SO LONG TO EVEN GET IT IN TESTFLIGHT AAAAAAAAAA

I love my Mac but damn, most MacOS releases are so damn useless, I won't do a major OS overhaul (updating from Big Sur to Montrey) just to get Share Play and the opportunity to watch movies together with my few Mac using friends, I don't need those fucking marketing driven bells and whistles, just give me a stable UNIX base an efficient and good looking UI and regular security patches and I'm good.

I would be happy to keep using Mavericks but without yearly MacOS release how Apple would be able to convince normies to replace their 10 years old MacBooks?

iMessage is down, WTF Apple?

I finally got the clarity on my relationship.

Atleast I think I did.

I am officially done with Microsoft. I mean the only useful and sensible products left are Outlook and Excel.

Funnily both the products have hit their maturity stage and now MS is trying to bloat them. But still to a reasonable extent.

What other MS products are worth touching? Wait.. I legit can't think of any now.

Next on tagret, Google and Apple. Lol

Perhaps only Apple product I ever want to interact with will be (future tense) Apple Music (well because lossless and the fact that that the product is the reason for existence of the company).

NGL Steve had the right vision on Music. They tagged things right in their iTunes catalogue. But then MTV happened.

And now Spotify is the new MTV. Fuck me in ass someone.

So only Google? Well I have already sold my soul to them. What's more remaining?

Developers celebrate new Safari browser features. Nice! Good work! But when will Apple ship the new Safari to older macOS and iOS versions?
That would increase compatibility and reduce planned obsolescence, Apple! 🍏🍎👿

My wife gave me an iPhone for Christmas. The last one I had was the 4. As soon as it connected to my computer and I answered the first call from it. I don't know, I fell in love. Mind you, I don't want the Apple Watch. I have an amazfit neo and I like it that way.

Client: bug: downloading invoice pdf filename is F0000%20client%20project.pdf, fix this!

Dev: Safari browser has this problem since 2014, options are installing chrome on mac or saving file as F0000_client_project.pdf

Client: no, fix this!

Dev: 😫

First computer I saw was an Apple II running Oregon Trail in grade school. Then I played computer games on my uncles Apple IIe. The first home video game I ever saw was Pong. It was a device you hooked to the RF input on the TV. It had 2 paddles to control the input (single axis controllers). The first game console I played on was the Atari. The first computer I programmed was on a black and white Macintosh. Then the other programmers in my high school told me the PC was better. Well, it was better for learning IMO. That was with Windows 3.0. But the programming was Turbo Pascal in DOS. DOS gave you complete control of the machine. Better at the time for me learning to do graphics and sounds programming. The first computer I bought was a 386 and I played with VR programming. Made my own joysticks using the limited joystick port. Fun times learning electronics and software together.

New office stories.

They use following channels as official communication channels

1. Google Hangouts (yes, living in 1800s)

2. WhatsApp groups (FUCK MY LIFE) Thankfully I am not part of any and will avoid actively.

3. Slack (heaven's sake some sense here).

And above that, they use Google Workplace for emails and office tools.

And now combine this mess with Apple. How inhumane my working conditions are.

why can't apple even provide a consistent interface to load swift package? "add package dependency" interface allows you to add remote package, but doesn't allow you add local in development swift package. to do that, you will have to "drag and drop"... why can't apple just add a button on the same interface for navigate local package? is this suppose to be some hidden up up down down left right left right konami secret thing?

I am hearing reports from less computer savvy people that some Apple devices will refuse to charge the battery if updates are not applied. Supposedly as a way to strong arm users to update. I cannot find anything on this when searching.

Has anyone heard of this?

i once changed all of the passwords of my main online accounts(google, apple, facebook, telegram, outlook) as they weren't changed for years.

i decided unique and long passwords for each of them.😎

immediately after changing the passwords, i forgot all of them. 😵fortunately, i was able to reset.
Has this ever happened to anyone?

WinUI looks nice and performs really well, I'm not a Windows fan but that's definitely a hidden Microsoft gem. It's a same which Microsoft was really late to the desktop development game and kept providing ugly frameworks until few years ago otherwise we could had a nice ecosystem on desktop apps on Windows as we have on macOS instead of tons of ugly and slow Electron based apps.

So I love what Apple is doing with the new Macs, great hardware, streamlined optimization, blistering performance.....great stuff.

But here's the thing. I think I'm gonna get a ThinkPad and just install fedora on it. It's far cheaper and outside of only going up to 16GB of ram it meets all my needs.

But between you and I a big factor in why I'm finding it hard to go Mac is the system settings. Like why is it like that? Why when I click something a separate window opens.....odd.

Apple should implement a Team Viewer like system on his iOS devices or allow 3rd party developers to do it, when random relatives call because they don’t know how to do X with their phones/pads I always find quite awkward to guide them by voice since there are a lot of misunderstandings doing that.

What is this? I just recorded a HDR video on iPhone 12. It’s a video that I converted to a gif so I could post it but that is what the video looks like.

Should this be reported to apple?

fucking hate implementing a chat feature in the apps! a couple of moving parts and edge case handling!

To all the M1 Macbook owners out there that use it for software development - do you regret your pick? If so, why (or what doesn't work)?

I just got the new ARM-based macbook. I was shocked that the menu bar is sooo fucking high now, and that there is a gap between the menubar and the maximized app.

How can this be? Are they totally nuts over there at Apple? I bet Steve would fire the responsible person immediately.
Is it really that hard to be somewhat pixel-perfect?

This looks so out of place and disgusting. It literally hurts my eyes.

Fuck Apple

When using Unity on a Mac is it better to get the latest version of Unity editor or the beta apple silicone version?