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Mark.

Mark was a support guy who could have been replaced by a robot. Nearly every support request that came in, whether it made sense or not, had a reply saying:

"Thank you for your query, I will escalate with the development team"

...and then I would have a message saying:

"Hi Almond urgent issue case xxx - I think you need to PLEASE CHECK LOGS" (yes, with that capitalisation.)

I'd then look at the case, take 10 seconds to work out the customer had done something stupid when calling our API (often forgetting their authentication details, despite a clear message telling them as such) and tell Mark what the issue was, and how to find it for himself next time. I'd then usually get:

"Thank you but PLEASE CHECK LOGS to see if there is any more info we can provide to customer"

...there would be more back and forth, and then eventually something like the following would reach the customer...

"Very sorry the development team have a major issue they will fix very soon but in the meantime a workaround is (instructions for using authentication details)"

🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️

Comments
  • 23
    Mark seems to be that guy who would get nervous when you're on leave and then shrug it off and say, "Oh well, the dev team ain't here. Only they can resolve this."
  • 17
    Sounds like the worst version of spineless smartypants.

    Not taking responsibility.
    But somehow thinking "If I sneak a please check XY in" I can always claim credit...
    And if I don't say it's the customers fault, they can't blame me either.

    Ugh. I hate such persons.
  • 12
    Sounds familiar. On a previous project there was a push from the users that we need to log "everything" (this was never elaborated upon when we asked what to log; just everything), and that we need to store every http request which we refused considering data protection and everything that would entail.

    And it was the same thing. User makes a goof, contacts support, support says they need to not goof, user is adamant they did not, then it ends up in our mailbox a week later via some path that allowed them to escalate that we need to check logs to see where we are fucking up and fix it - ie. resend data that didn't go through - without further involvement from the user.

    80% of it was their in-house client which gave no feedback when they sent data despite us returning 400 with text or 401.
  • 3
    @rutee07 Yeah, snakes like that are a pain in the arse.
  • 8
    @Jilano I thought snakes in the ass are pretty pleasurable given the right amount of lube and venom.

    Oh, you mean the other "snakes". I agree.
  • 3
    @rutee07 Yes, he did exactly that when I was on leave.
  • 4
    @AlmondSauce Lol. It's like they all came from the same mold.
  • 3
    @rutee07 Ah yes, the "cunt mold". Loud, annoying, obnoxious, ignorant; so many qualities one look for in a mate.
  • 2
    you could say he was constantly missing...

    ... himself?
  • 1
    Judge me or hate me, it feels like guy was a jackass but nervous personality who had good intentions (customer centric).

    Though he might have made OP's life hell but this is what I can feel from the post.
  • 1
    @unclesam I hold a board directing to washroom. I can be replaced by a stick.
  • 1
    @F1973 Is this the right rant this time or...? :D
  • 1
    @Jilano yes, it is.

    You may proceed to judge me my child.
  • 1
  • 1
    Hey Almond.... PLEASE CHECK THOSE LOGS now. ;)
  • 2
    Oh man, I know Mark personally. I work with him on a day to day basis.

    Can’t imagine he could also replicate himself. Altho now I know it’s possible as you said that he could be a robot!
  • 1
    Please check logs guy...
    .I swear I worked with that guy....
  • 1
    I want to punch Mark
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