21

!dev

I come from a small shitty valley where all that people want to achieve is getting approved for loans to buy more cows and shit.. My only friend comes from there as well but he’s different, more like me.. build a life, get out and pursuit something better and bigger..
We grew up smoking everything we could and drinking everything we got because what else are we gonna do, put shit on fire? Been there, done that.. it sucks growing up on the poop hole of the world.
We both left that shithole and started careers but he’s throwing it all out the window.. he’s getting caught with weed, DUI and shit. just a few years ago he got off of more serious drugs.. He built a career and shit for about 10 years but right now he’s just throwing it all away because drugs are in his comfort zone. But he has to go give Pias samples for a while now and if he doesn’t stop he is not getting his license back and the unemployment insurance won’t even pay him because (although he lost the job because of Covid) they said it’s because he smokes weed.
Without the license goes his career as he’s a service electrician.

So fucking hurtful to see, man.
And so hard to accept that he won’t listen and than I’m not his dad who can tell him what to do..

90% of the kids I grew up with who managed to leave that shit hole ended up as homeless junkies.. I guess I’m happy to have the mindset to not end up like them.. and that’s really all it is, the mindset is the only difference (which is complex in itself of course like parenting and stuff)

Comments
  • 9
    Needed a therapy session, that’s for reading or not reading guys 😅
  • 5
    It's not easy to admit, but you can't help someone that doesn't want to be helped. If you keep pushing yourself to support him, you'll end up full of resentments.

    Good luck, to you both.
  • 2
    Yea, what you say about just enjoying life without taking responsibility is pretty much the case.

    But he does value stuff. He loves his dad, sister and he just became an uncle.
    But his dad didn’t support his shit anymore so he just cut the relationship with his dad.

    He would have dumped his sister because she wanted to help him but he didn’t because she bailed him out so many times by lending him money.

    The thing is I’m the only friend that actually cares about him so I don’t wanna give up on him..
    Also gotta day that he’s the only friend I have (or I’m trying to still have as he’s not really available when I need him anymore) so it’s also in my naive interest to keep him from drowning in his shit.

    Sometimes I think the only reason why he’s keeping the the relation with me is because I’m just as much of an addict, I just that I limit it to Friday nights😅
  • 1
    @mysth i can’t let him destiny his life because I know he won’t be happy or free when he does. He’ll be like the other kids we grew up with. 10% of them are already dead and we’re all in our 20s-30s.

    But yea I get your point. Can’t help
    Someone who doesn’t want help.

    And I should learn to let go of people that only pull me down.
    But I won’t because that’s who I am and that’s actually one of my few good qualities, I’m loyal as fuck😅
  • 0
    Well, he could be a good worker and still enjoy some occasional weed. So maybe he should just go back, work at the farm and be in touch with nature - and his family.
    Being alone can hurt a lot. So if he actually has a non-shit family, that is something to be lucky about...
  • 0
    He needs professional help. Find a good counsellor/psychotherapist, pay for it, encourage him to attend sessions. This is not something you can fix yourself.
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