I HATE working with MS Office products. Yes, Access, I'm looking at you, you backwards, whanabe database reject! You're invalid as a serious SQL database and retarded as an data application suite.

VBA, make up your MIND with your damn function calls! Either require me to use parenthesis or don't! I'm sick of this conditional parenthesis sh*t!

While we're talking about not making up your mind... screw 'sub', you half wit language! Either use functions like a real language or go the f&$k home and make room for a language that knows what it's doing!

Oh!!! WHY... WHY! do you have null AND... NOTHING?! Who... Who... WHO invented "nothing"?! And what sick joke are you playing at with isnull() and empty()??? How many damn ways so you need to test for "no value"?!?!

Access... That's right, I'm not done with you yet... How is it you've survived this damn long in the business world with all of the databases you corrupt? Sure, you suck as a real database, but at least have some freaking pride that people even USE you! How DARE your corrupt yourself with the regularity you seem to have! I wish my bowel movements were as regular as your database corruptions, for the love of humanity.

F$@k you, VBA! F@&k you, Access! F$#k you, MS Office! And Fuuuuuu$k YOU Microsoft for shoving these half assed reject tools down my throat!

I hope your cloud uses Access as a back end and gets some injection virus.

*Takes deep breath* need to say that.

  • 3
    I used to have a job working exclusively with access and vb6. I hated that job.
  • 3
    That's some quality rant right there. Congratulations!
  • 2
    oh my, that's a name i havent heard for ages
  • 0
    Not sure about it, but isn't `Nothing` like `void` and `null` is just `null`?
  • 0
    Why not use C# if u hate vb so much 😮
  • 2
    @pascalwacker "nothing" is used for class objects and null is used when there's no value in form controls (maybe other cases, but that's the most common for me). Regardless, though, I have no damn clue why this language even has THAT distinction. Just use null like every other self respecting language.
  • 2
    @jelleken I have to use Access (legacy database). As far as I know, I have no choice but to use VB 😭
  • 2
    @ninjatini that is my job right now 😢
  • 0
    This doesn't sound like an issue with Access, but an issue with the choice of technology.
  • 1
    try {
    rant.rating += 25
    } catch {
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