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Boss walked towards his office asking a coworker to do something.
Coworker replied that he'd like to but only the boss has the login codes or something like that.
Boss: ah right *walks to coworkers table* let me enter that stuff *starts typing*
Coworker: Maybe I'm running a keylogger 😏
Me: *exchanging funny eye contact with coworker* yeah maybe he is.... 😏
Boss: *looking back and forth at both our faces suspiciously*
Coworker: 😏😏😏
Me: 😏😏😏
Coworker: 😏😉
Me: 😏😆
Boss: 😐
*three of us laughing*
😆10 -
I really hate it when we have to wear formal dress to office. I feel like a marketing executive. My code stares at me with suspicious looks.11
-
FUCK!! It's been 3 days in the new office.
Can't find a single to rant about.
Why is everyone is so fucking nice??13 -
Fuck open office spaces.
A few months ago I landed a super sweet job as a senior full stack developer, mainly going to work with their Python microarchitecture. The company pays well, has a sweet balance between freedom and responsibility, 30 days vacation etc.
During the recruiting process they walked me around the office that was super cozy with 14 devs in on large room and 10 people from marketing in another. They also mentioned that they would move and merge office with operations and customer service (around 100 more people) in a few months.
Life was good in the old office, I thought that this is the company where I will work for a looooong time.
Now we are in the new office and its fucking shit. No walls or FUCKING CEILINGS between departments. Right above my head there is balcony with customer service talking loud as fuck 24/7. Everyone that is not a developer is just so fucking loud.
I have to use earplugs AND earmuffs to get silence, or blast my ears with way to loud music. Every day around lunch I'm completely done mentally.
I know I'm extra sensitive to noise because of my ADHD, but seriously who the fuck thought this was a good idea?
All the devs have told our boss what needs to be done. If they listen i don't know. In the meantime I will start looking for a new job....15 -
In our office, everyone is placed so that we have a wall behind us. Initially, there was enough room behind us so that we can walk just fine.
Everything was fine till our manager didn't start making us some random visits and standing behind us just looking at our screens and making us feel unpleasant.
So one day we moved the tables so there is almost no room behind us. And we are aligned in a row with no space between the tables. Now if the manager decided to do it again he would have to struggle his way behind us.
Few days passed by and our manager finally showed he saw what we did, didn't say anything. It was clear that he wasn't happy about it. He tried to lean himself over the monitors to take a look but that was just not so as "good" as standing behind us...
A time passed and one day when we came to work we saw the tables moved forward some 15-20cm just enough to be able to move behind. Almost immediately we pulled them back as they were before.
We moved back and forward already few times and are currently playing cat and mouse with our manager.
Noone is saying anything just the tables are moving every 2-3 days or so. Let's see who is going to give up first hahaha13 -
Is it OK to make chewing noise when eating in the office a meter away from your colleagues?
I have the answer for you my friend:
.
.
.
ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NO.14 -
Is it weird to like being in the office a couple hours before everyone else shows up so I can start my day with peace and quiet?15
-
The office toilet chronicles - episode 2
Someone here has a fucking sprinkler where they should have a penis. Is it so hard to aim? Or fucking sit?
5 -
Kind of sad but true.
1) "If you don't love your job, take a home loan".
You will start loving it.
2) Take another loan, you will start loving your boss as well.
3) Get married. You will start loving your office too.
Source: LinkedIn
But can't stop anyone from ranting. :/1 -
This is my work desktop. Since I'm working in a Japanese office, they're very specific about making sure your workspace is clean and tidy at all times. Also they expect you to have very little to no personal items on your workspace.
The mini whiteboard is my best tool. It makes it easier to work out minor concepts or to explain things to co-workers.
8 -
Root rents an office.
Among very few other things, the company I'm renting an office from (Regus) provides wifi, but it isn't even bloody secured. There's a captive portal with a lovely (not.) privacy policy saying they're free to monitor your traffic, but they didn't even bother using WEP, which ofc means everyone else out to the fucking parking lot four floors down can monitor my traffic, too.
Good thing I don't work for a company that handles sensitive data! /s But at least I don't have access to it, or any creds that matter.
So, I've been running my phone's connection through a tor vpn and sharing that with my lappy. It works, provides a little bit of security, but it's slow as crap. GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER, REGUS.
AND WHILE YOU'RE AT IT, CLEAN THE SHIT OUT OF THE FUCKING BATHROOM FFS.
Ugh. $12/day to work in a freaking wind tunnel (thanks, a/c; you're loud as fuck and barely work), hear other people's phone conversations through two freaking walls, pee in a bathroom that perpetually smells like diarrhea, and allow anyone and everyone within a 50+ meter radius to listen to everything my computer says.
Oh, they also 'forgot' to furnish my office, like they promised. Three freaking times. At least I have a table and chair. 🙄
Desk? What desk?
Fucking hell.20 -
Annoyingly typical office conversation:
Person 1: "Good morning."
Person 2: "Good morning, how are you?"
Person 1: "Good. How are you?"
Person 2: "Good."
Person 1: "Good."
NO! Not good, fuckers. I hear this all day long, come up with something real or original. Talk about the massive shit you just took, or how hard you're taking the news about Diablo Immortal. It reminds me of that scene in Office Space with the repetitive call center lady, lol.18 -
Today we moved to a new office in the next building.
It is a very big upgrade, since it is bigger and nicer.
So I ask where the bathroom is and go in the direction told, and the bathroom is so nice! Huge mirror, everything is clean and new.
On the way out I find that it was the girls bathroom....15 -
I got my first own office... We did it. We just painted our mini Iranian office in two nights and we about to code it,has 5 min distance to our college and it's a golden opportunity to work and study at the same time.
8 -
The office toilet chronicles - episode 3
Someone left shit on the toilet seat. That's right. Shit. On the toilet seat.
This is the second time this happens. I'm working with fucking monkeys here. One of these days they'll start throwing feces at each other. I just hope I'll be long gone when it happens.13 -
Just moved into our new house today and my wife gave me an early Christmas present. Really just completes my new office. This beautiful lamp is touch activated on each individual light and each light is individually dimmable by touch as well. 😍 had to share
13 -
I HATE working with MS Office products. Yes, Access, I'm looking at you, you backwards, whanabe database reject! You're invalid as a serious SQL database and retarded as an data application suite.
VBA, make up your MIND with your damn function calls! Either require me to use parenthesis or don't! I'm sick of this conditional parenthesis sh*t!
While we're talking about not making up your mind... screw 'sub', you half wit language! Either use functions like a real language or go the f&$k home and make room for a language that knows what it's doing!
Oh!!! WHY... WHY! do you have null AND... NOTHING?! Who... Who... WHO invented "nothing"?! And what sick joke are you playing at with isnull() and empty()??? How many damn ways so you need to test for "no value"?!?!
Access... That's right, I'm not done with you yet... How is it you've survived this damn long in the business world with all of the databases you corrupt? Sure, you suck as a real database, but at least have some freaking pride that people even USE you! How DARE your corrupt yourself with the regularity you seem to have! I wish my bowel movements were as regular as your database corruptions, for the love of humanity.
F$@k you, VBA! F@&k you, Access! F$#k you, MS Office! And Fuuuuuu$k YOU Microsoft for shoving these half assed reject tools down my throat!
I hope your cloud uses Access as a back end and gets some injection virus.
*Takes deep breath* need to say that.10 -
Just after entering the office the heat wave hit me. 28ºC in the office at 8 a.m.?!?! Air conditioner down. Damn.
Live in North Europe they say. It's gonna be cool they say.19 -
Office prank time! It was some years ago when the horror movie "The Grudge" came out, with that creepy Japanese dead girl who made that horrible "aaahhhhhh" sound. A coworker, who was just as shocked by the movie as I was, would occasionally send me emails with sceenshots from that movie.
One day, I upped it. I knew he was the first in the office in the morning, so I arrived even before him. It was still dark. I put a walkie-talkie under his desk, set it to "no beep", switched off the lights again and hid two rooms away.
Sure enough, he arrived. I waited for about 10 minutes to be sure he was sitting at his desk. Then I used my walkie-talkie and "aahhhhh".
WOAH, his scream was loud even two rooms away!3 -
Things you can enjoy when working in an office with other people:
- listening to everyone chew gum with their mouths open.
- being constantly interrupted by coworkers asking for help, even when wearing headphones.
- getting distracted by someone bursting out in laughter of some private joke.
- having to take a break when everyone else does, because everyone is so loud you just can't focus.
- being hit on the back of the neck by a nerf gun bullet, right when you're most focused.
Why would anyone ever want to work at home?9 -
So 10 months ago i moved from Cambridge (UK) to Guildford (UK), due to moving this distance i started working from home and going into the office once a week.
Now after 10 months i have finally got my home office how i first imagined it. Everything runs from my laptop which is located on the shelving unit away from my desk. Everything plugs into it via 1 USB lead.
Setup:
27" 2560 x 1440 monitor flanked by two 1280 x 1024 monitors.
Asus Laptop (i5-6300HQ, 12GB ram, 512GB SSD + 1TB HDD)
Home PC (i5-7600, 8GB ram, GTX 770)
Accessories:
StarTech USB hub - This allows me to plug my three monitors, keyboards, mouse and everything else into my laptop.
KVM switch - Allows me to swap between my Work PC and Home PC with a click of a button
14 -
Since 4 weeks i have during work my noise cancelling headphones on, thanks to the new open space office.
I don't even hear my phone ringing 😂
1 -
Finally got myself setup in my new office today, before there was three of us cramped into a tiny 3mx4m office, now only two of us in a much larger office.
6 -
Those developers working under non-technical bosses, i understand your pain.
1. Pain when they don't realise that output != number of hours put in. Aaaaaaand that acting busy doesn't mean someone's working.
2. Pain when chilling out in office is necessary, because mind jobs don't work same as other jobs. Wherein if you don't vent it out you're gonna screw up the code. Them not getting that.
3. Pain of "meetings".
4. Pain of changing the feature when you're done, and them acting as if its a minor change.
5. Pain of vague requirements.
6. Pain of a product not thought through, and them trying to blame the implementation.5 -
That moment when you walk into the office on your first day, while setting up your desk they ask you which mouse you would like to use, and you respond "oh no thank you I prefer my trackpad" and the whole office stops what their doing and gives you that look...14
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Almost ever day I am the first one at office in the early morning. Other devs arrive at least one or two hours later. I don't mind. I just want to have a bit of sun left, when I go.
But why the heck...everytime I go, one of those other fucktards (which I normally really like), mumbles something like "you go this early today?"
Yes I do you dipshit!! You could arrive earlier, too!
And then, those late birds get credit for staying longest!!!
I mean, sure... If you start to work at 11pm, you have to stay long...
Meeeeh7 -
Sigh.That day again where I have to work from the client's stupid office.
- Spotify blocked
- Youtube blocked
- Can't ssh to my private VM
- Office is stuffy and no fresh air.Smells like feet and french fries mixed.
- No paid lunch,I have spend my own money
Sigh. 6 more hours to go.22 -
My office has blocked access to all external websites. Only internal, self-hosted sites under our domain work.
P E A K. S E C U R I T Y.16 -
Finally getting some upgrades for our office workstations!!
My work-pc still rocks 3rd gen core i7 with -40% performance loss because of spectre/meltdown patches and 1600 mhz ram. Its been a huge pain in the ass. Building unreal engine from source literally takes a day, while on my home Ryzen 5 it takes an our.
Ryzen 7/9 babyyy!!!
(I might even be able to talk them into a threadripper, wish me luck 😀)
4 -
It was friday evening and almost everyone in office had left. I was assigned a bug related to some of my code changes. I called my senior to help me debug (has three years of experience, whereas me having only one year exp, who is also a very good friend of mine *always helps in debugging*).
So the code goes
switch (someEnum) {
case One:
doSomething()
// no break
case Two:
t.x = someEnum
break
case Three:
.....
}
I had recently added new enun One and was reciting the code logic to him as we were looking through code.
Him: Hey you haven't set t.x in case One. How did you miss that?
Me: No look, I haven't but a break on it. It will go ahead and set it in next case.
Him: What are you talking about? if the someEnun is One why would it execute Two case. Lets copy that line up there and try it locally.
Me: No no no wait. Are you saying that groovy doesn't need breaks in switch (Me being new to groovy but good with Java).
Him: Why would you need break in switch case even in Java?
Me: *stares at him*
Him: I'm going to execute a psvm right freaking now.
Me: *while he writes the psvm* Why did you think there were breaks in switch in any code?
Him: Shut up. *writes psvm code cursing me everywhere*
*executes code*
No way. Really??
Me: Tell me why do you think are there breaks in switch.
Him: I though they were to get you out of switch block and not execute the default block.
Me: So were you coding switch until now without breaks?
Him: I don't know man. I'm starting to doubt all the switches I have ever written.
Me: Anyway that's not the problem, so moving on.
*a while later*
Him: If a interviewer would ask me how would you rate yourself in Java. I would be like "Well I worked on various projects for 3 years in Java, but didnt know why we put breaks in switch. So you figure it out yourself."
One of the best moments in office.8 -
What do Developers at Office do when the internet is down ?
(at mine, we play the dinosaurs game and compete for the highest score.)16 -
Beware of office politics. Take it from me. Beware whom you trust in the workplace. Sometimes you won't detect it and they will prey on your innocence. You thought they're good but really is not. Back stabbers.10
-
I hate when I'm being questioned when I wander off to the kitchen to get a sandwich for 5 minutes when the smokers at the office have their sixth smoking break that usually takes about 10 minutes.
Let me enjoy my non-smoker breaks 😒9 -
Past few weeks, I have started to work late night and sleep whole day. I go to office at around 7pm and returns back next day 8-9am. I found it super productive.
But, my manager wasn't happy about it and now, she shifted daily scrum at 1 PM and emailed me to make sure I attend it daily.
Now, I have to fix my sleeping cycle... Nights are so great to work. Silent and nobody around.
Now, from tomorrow, I got a new challenge everyday to make it to scrum daily.6 -
My friend told me stories about his colleague who's always against him.
One time, during their management meeting, that colleague suggested that they should have a suggestion box in the office.
So my friend proposed that they use Google forms. He presented how Google forms work and the majority got really impressed(except the colleague).
Naturally the colleague is against him, he said "this is not what I had in mind". He wanted to have an actual box and people write suggestions on paper and drop it in(suggesting the ancient way).
Every meeting, the colleague complains a lot, and my friend provides techy and convenient solutions.7 -
Today, a team mate has sent me this picture: he found this Olivetti in the street, near a trash bin. He will take it to the office next Monday so we are going to troll other team mates with this new and fantastic mechanical keyboard!!
2 -
For security purposes, it should be good practice to lock your pc when you walk away. At my office, we practice harmless pranks when someone forgets, to "teach them a lesson". Usually just involves reversing/inverting displays, reversing mouse buttons, or changing the desktop background like this (because everyone is a closet bronie apparently)
18 -
I really, really need an office. Today I've been in a meeting for 2 hours with my mum hoovering in the background and my sister playing the entire fucking soundtrack to Chicago. FUCKING KILL ME!!!
Every time I fucking talk all you can hear is "'n' all that jazz" in the fucking background.
I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMOREEEEE D'X14 -
The whole Microsoft office suite is being rewritten in React.js
This. Is. Not. A. Joke.
This also includes Skype, Ms teams, all office programs on all platforms, AND, VS Code....
Guys, we have trully peaked... gg....13 -
!rant && !!rant
☝️ What does that give you?
Today will be the last day we gonna work at this fucking hellhole of an office. Since I had so many shits to remember from this office, let me share my favorite.
1) Ground floor. Got flooded last July. Half our equipments got soaked. Oh equipments as in computers, cables, reports documents, etc etc.
2) I am gonna miss those connection down days.
3) I will also miss those black out days where we couldn't work for hours so had to play teamwork games to keep the morale of the team and you know to stay awake.
4) I will also miss that fucking mouse or rat. You are small and cute but fuck you for chewing my potato chips and peanuts. A-hole.
5) No windows so with no air-conditioning, it is a literal hell hole.
Gotta stop. I might cry.17 -
The office decided to buy us all ice-cream. I got mine out the fridge put it on my desk and before I sat down was asked to join a meeting, after that on the way to my desk got called over to help someone. Eventually got back to find my ice-cream had melted over my entire desk :(1
-
two days before I complained of lower back pain. raised a concern in office as its due to long sitting hours and got a chair today with great lumbar support. :)3
-
Who in their right mind though it would be a good idea to move the web development team to a new office without checking that the internet is connected.
What a waste of three working days.
And of course the project needs to be delivered by Sunday...3 -
Internet is fluctuating in our office.
The network team sent out an email of unscheduled outage.
I thought of replying back,
"Have you tried turning it off and on again".1 -
Who invented the open space office layout? If you're as unlucky as me, you end up sitting next to the protein junkie who pops open a tin of tuna mixed with some other shit that's there just because it smells horrible almost hourly, or you end up next to the PM whose desk is gossip central and by the end of the day you know "Sheila" is sleeping with her brother in law, and "Steve" has a tiny weiner.6
-
So my office manager decided to ban kitchen utensils in the office. Part of the reason was that there was too much stealing. Apparently too many mugs, knives, plates & spoons have gone missing for it to be just through loss.
I tried to reason with this office manager. I asked if we really want to create a culture of mistrust where we ban basic utilities like we’re children.
I appealed to the business logic do we really want freelancers going out to grab a coffee 10 minutes a day over a period of a year.
I tried to appeal to the digital nature of the office can we “source the solution from the office”
The other office have to bring in their own utensils but the other office has a canteen.
Essentially I feel like this was a power issue a decision was made I’m not allowed to question it.
Apparently my “behaviour” has been flagged with the CTO. 🤣🤨
I have to stir my tea with a knife unless I put stuff in my desk.
As a solution I decided to reach out to several green companies that provide disposable cutlery and kitchen where they agreed to send a sample which I put in the kitchen. I have a feeling this will be taken as hostile move in of what is: a solution.
Seriously W T actual F.6 -
I just dropped my office laptop !
😨😨😨😨
There is a crack on the corner of the body but the device is Ok !
I am worried they will charge me the whole cost of the laptop ( i.e. 3 months worth salary )19 -
!dev !rant but still funny story
As the goth of the dev team, sometimes people ask me several things about me.
I was working on my code. It was 3 or 4PM and a bored dev asks came to me
He: Have you ever tried to be a vampire?
Me: No, I’m just a goth
He: Do you know a vampire?
Me: Unfortunately no, but I’ve heard of them.
He: Do they suck blood?
I don’t know if he was asking because of curiosity or in a sarcastic mode. As usual, I answered in a polite way explaining him what means to be a vampire, the types (blood and energetic) and the difference between a goth and a vampire.
While I was explaining to him this, the boss came into the office, heard me talking about the energetic vampires and said “Wow wow wow! What is coming on here?!” 😂16 -
Office survival tip #1: When in a new office with no kitchen, heat your food with the office heater.
How @JacoKotze and I are heating our food in our new office (no kitchen equipment or microwave yet)
4 -
Have you ever had a problem with a partner, but you cannot prove at 100% that he has something against you? But you cannot stand him?
Well, this happened two years ago. I was working as a tester, and “John” (I won’t say his real name) was the dude who tests my tests, but in production.
I ‘m a sociable person, and I don’t mind talking with another people. Suddenly, I noticed that my co-worker started to behave a little bit... rude? Plain? I don’t know, but sometimes he didn’t answer my conversations/questions, or sometimes answered with extra-negative stuff.
“Well, his life is not easy” I said to myself. “Everybody haveproblems”, “I have to understand him and calm down”.
Two weeks later started to report really REALLY absurd production bugs, and with absurd I mean, for example, that he didn’t like the color of a button, a point next to a phrase, etc., things very very simples, but sometimes he ignored big errors.
Once I had to went out of the city for few hours, and asked to permission to go out. I had pending tests, but I left a document with specifications in case of emergency. Even passwords. Before I could finish the thing in the other city, my partner called me two times, and asking me obvious things! I had to go back to the office ealier that I had planned, so f*** angry 😡 and when I arrived to the office, John said “no, forget it, let’s solve it tomorrow” 🙃 WTF?!!!!!!
I decided not to argue with him.
Also noticed that his headaches suddenly increased, and looked so tired ☹️ I felt guilty to judge him
I felt so guilty, and even today I don’t know what to feel about that or what to think. I don’t work there anymore, but, What do you think? What would you do?6 -
When you turn up to work and realise you forgot your headphones so you gotta try and concentrate while overhearing every conversation in the office.4
-
Long time ago, back in a day of Microsoft Office 95 and 97, I was contracted to integrate a simple API for a payment service provider.
They've sent me the spec, I read it, it was simple enough: 1. payment OK, 2. payment FAILED. Few hours later the test environment was up and happy crediting and debiting fake accounts. Then came the push to prod.
I worked with two other guys, we shut down the servers, made a backup, connected new provider. All looked perfectly fine. First customers were paying, first shops were sending their products... Until two days later it turned out the money isn't coming through even though all we are getting from the API is "1" after "1"! I shut it off. We had 7 conference calls, 2 meetings, 3 days of trying and failing. Finally, by a mere luck, I found out what's what.
You see, Microsoft, when you invent your own file format, it's really nice to make it consistent between versions... So that the punctuation made in Microsoft Word 97 that was supposed to start from "0" didn't start from "1" when you open the file in Microsoft Word 95.
Also, if you're a moron who edits documentation in Microsoft Word, at least export it to a fucking PDF before sending out. Please. -
Vampire devs?
In my office, we have a big glass wall (a window wall, however you wanna call it), so we don’t need to turn on the lights until 5 o’clock.
Well, even though I’m goth, I hate to work on a dark office, but two of the other programmers don’t. Actually our boss adviced us to turn on the light to prevent vision problems. Fortunately, a partner of mine always turns on the light at 5 o’clock. They complain, so he tells them “oh, you vampires!!!” And they say “Elizadeath is the vampire here!”
What do you think is better? What works for you?20 -
Not actually a rant, but need some place to vent it out.
The company where I work develops embedded devices enabling the automobiles to connect to the internet and provide various end user infotainment services. My job mostly relates to how and when we update the devices.
There are about 100 different
variants of the same device, each one different from the other in a way that the process required to update for each of these device variants is significantly Different. Doing this manually would be and actually was a nightmare for almost everyone, so I set out on writing a tool that addresses this issue.
I designed my solution mostly in Python, allowing me for quick prototyping. First of all, I'd never written a single line of python code in my life. So I learn python, in matter of 2 nights. I took days off from work so I could work on this problem I had in my head. And in about 4 days, I was up with a solution that worked, reliably. I prepared a complete framework, completely extendable, in order to have room for 101th variant that might come in at any time. And then to make it easier and a no Brainer for everyone, the software is able to automatically download nightly builds and update the test devices with nothing more than a double click.
But apparently this wasn't enough. Today I found out that someone worked on a different solution in the background just a week ago, while reusing most part of my code. And now they start advertising their solution over mine, telling everyone how crappy my code is. Seriously, for fucks sake, my code has been running without issues since more than a year now. To make it worse, my manager seems to take sides with the other guy. I mean I don't even have someone to explain the situation to.
I really feel betrayed and backstabbed today. I worked my days, my nights, my vacations on this code. I put blood, sweat and tears into this. I push my self over my limits, and when that was not enough, I pushed my self even harder. But it all seems in vain today. All the hours that I spent, just to make it easier for everyone... All a complete waste. When you write code with such passion, your code is like your family... You want to protect it... But with all this office politics and shit, I seem to be losing my grip.
I've been contemplating the entire night, where I might have gone wrong, what could I've done to deserve this...but to no avail. I'm having troubles sleeping, and I'm not sure what I should do next.
Despair, sheer bloody Despair!8 -
So I had to use office and image editing tools on Linux today.
Holy mother fucking god are these things awful. Gimp, pinta, gnome paint, libre office, open office... they seem like a project some guy threw together a weekend in his bedroom. The UX is shite and makes 0 sense. They crash and lag all over the place. For fuck sake!
Also... Gimp, libre office and open office. If you want to make an alternative to a well known product (Photoshop and MS Office in this example) then just fucking copy the god damn UI as much as you can. No-one is going to go learn your fucking half ass product, people only use this shit because it's free and available on Linux.
I swear, I seriously considered sending the images to my phone and just fucking edit them there because it would have been so much easier than using this pile of shit.
Fuck!!!28 -
That awkward moment when you stay late night in the office to catch up some delayed work and suddenly remember that story you heard during lunch about the ghost that appears in the office at night8
-
#newlifenewhope -> update no. 0 / Day 0
it's about the end of Day 0, front office is taking shape. the pantry is cleaned.
can't wait to see how my repurposed bunker will look like.
Order and Shipment progress :
- My Server supposed to be arrive tommorow
- Rubber Ducks Package Delivery is accepted by courier
- 2 weeks before my Office Requirements Arrive
Further Update for my Little Office Installment will be tagged as : #newlifenewhope
Stay Tuned !
2 -
Story time!
Like I mentioned in a previous rant, I’m (or was) a coca-cola addict. Coca-cola has caffeine, right?
This happened a tuesday. I forgot my mug at home (I wanted to draw it a bat🦇) so I bought a jumbo coffee at a store near my office. I drank it, and then, all my partners went to the kitchen for coffee. I went with them and I refilled my cup.
I was working on my code, and suddenly I felt a strange sensation on my chest (I don’t think I could describe it, it feels like when you have intestinal problems and gases, but in the chest). I didn’t give it importance. One hour later I started trembling. I googled my symptoms and I found I had a coffee overdose 😱 But how? I drank a lot of caffeine in soda, but this only happened to me with coffee. This lasted 5 hours 😓
You, specially the most experienced devs and coffee addicts, how can I drink more than 1 cup of coffe per day without trembling? Btw, I have no heart or pressure problems, so I don’t know... this happened because I don’t drink much coffee?
23 -
The office PCs are finally done 😌 Real beauties I think! 😊
Built 3 of them today with each the same parts:
- Ryzen 7 2700X
- Asus B450 Plus
- 16GB G.SKILL TridentZ RGB RAM
- M.2 Samsung 970 500GB SSD
- RX 570 8GB Armor Edition
- Bequiet CM 600W PSU
- NZXT H500 Case
- Riing 12 coolers
13 -
My boss has gone for a long vacation from last week and will be back in Feb. And office feels soooo awesome and fun. No office politics, no senseless meetings. Just pure work in peace.
I wish he doesn't come back only....3 -
Sitting in Office on a Saturday learning how to Code :) There is nothing like a quiet peaceful office with no other keyboards clickety clacking than your own.4
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!rant:
Today I lent a noise canceling headphone for a call at the office. After using it for the first time I see myself using it more often in our open office - even without sound on 😅
What do you guys think about noise canceling? I was blown away by it4 -
Some of the guys in our team like to throw pranks once in a while. So they printed a version of my ID with Mr. Putin's face instead of mine (a decent upgrade in my opinion) and put the paper on top of my ID. I was walking with it around the office for God knows how long until I noticed.
2 -
You know what I love? When the person next to you in the office sits there loudly talking on the phone for an hour.
2 -
So, we have massive desks in office and there is no much space for them to fit +2 newcomers. Occasionally, my old youtube recommendation "Tetris Original Theme" started playing out loud. :)
14 -
That moment you go to the office thinking it's a Thursday and find out it's a Friday while signing in....! 🤠💃🏼💃🏼2
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hugging Microsoft with their clucking buggy software!
>> generate an xls with Apache POI
>> colour some particular cells in green, others - in red.
>> export as xls
>> open with LibreOffice Calc -- looks pretty
>> upload to Slack, open slack's generated xls preview -- looks pretty
>> open with GDocs -- looks pretty
>> open with sheet.zoho.com -- looks pretty
>> open with onlinedocumentviewer.com -- looks pretty
>> open with aspose.app -- looks pretty
>> open the xls with MS Office Excel -- more than half of the cells are unformatted, uncoloured
🔥🗑🔥5 -
There's a guy who uses a small electric scooter to speed across the office. It's less than 30 meters to the other side of the office.
Guy is going to hurt someone at some point. I don't even know the guy but I can already tell he's a dick.3 -
A 27" monitor with a 1080p resolution is a match made in hell. Oh the eye bleach. (At home I got 30" with 2k or 1440p resolution. Much better viewing experience.)
I'm having my first day in the office in the new job after two week of remote work. I think I will prefer working from home office definitly (even though the office coffee machine is nice).
It doesn't help that the internet connection in the office is 100 Mbit and at home I have 1 Gbit.12 -
Yayy! It's already -15kg since November! W/o any workouts!!
Now I'm at the point where I'm no longer losing weight and don't get whether the fat is still burning and muscles are evening the weight or my clothes simply keep stretching out. Or I'm just seeing what I want to see
anyhow I know I wouldn't have this problem if I were one of the construction workers currently working outside my office :/ office work sounds nice but it's still got its cons. Like being tied down to a chair rather than moving all the time :/16 -
For some reason, I started using Office 365 30 day trial a month ago, obviously, and yesterday, a month passed, but the product registered automatically and says it is a product officially signed with a product key.
Thanks Microsoft!
I <3 you!
(don't report this to nsa)3 -
Okay, so today I've taught a colleague how to use a simple office ruler to measure AWS server's CPU usage :) We needed to figure out whether CPU% spikes correlate with error message in logs an d latency spikes. Once again a ruler was the perfect tool for the job.
P.S. no, CPU% spikes did not correlate to errors in logs1 -
I started using Google Docs over the weekend working on my thesis paper for my CS degree. I've come to the conclusion that it's a suitable replacement for MS Office and my need for Microsoft's ecosystem. Don't know why I kept paying it for so long.7
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Quite day at the office. I recreated a button bar from our application on the wall. I'm more pleased with the result than I expected (:
2 -
This might seem like a dumb rant to have but I just started a new job, and I asked my boss about the Work From Home policy and basically, there is no work from home, at all. I'm bummed out because I got into a really good WFH rhythm at my last job and now I have to go into the office every day, even though I am stationed in a different city than the main company office anyway. I'm already remote! Why do I have to pay to come into work remotely anyway!? Argh.15
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What I miss about not being a team lead is how I used to spend all my hours in the office coding. Just coding.5
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If you keep seeing your watch, while ignoring your laptop time display, then it's time for you to logout of office.
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I hate coming into the office! It's cold, people microwave smelly food, and I can't break up my work sessions with some gaming or anime. I wish remote work wasn't seen as such a scary thing for companies.2
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I'm a Linux user. I've been a Linux user for the last 14 years...
Having said that: Microsoft Office is much better than LibreOffice.
There, I said it.7 -
Just reinstalled Windows to an SSD, so I'm reinstalling MS office. Office 365 is helpfully provided by my university. I also use Visio a good bit, and again my University helpfully provides Visio 2016.
Install Office 365.
Download 2.2GB Visio iso.
Mount Visio iso, run setup.exe.
Get this message.
🖕
10 -
Walked past one of my employees as he was talking on the phone. He says something along the lines of "oh no that was totally my fault" to which I just blurt out "haha dumbass"
And he just goes O.o and then to the phone "oh, yes, no sorry, yes that was my manager" to where someone just roars out laughing on the other line.
Him: "apparently the director of X department found it hilarious that your standard automatic response was that out of nowhere"
Before I get called an asshole or whatever, my dudes regularly leave notes on my office with messages such as "die", "eat shit" etc. Its good fun lads, don't lose yer heads over it.6 -
!rant
In the office, sometimes we order food for lunch.
Me: *goes outside the office to make the call*
*Coding partner arrives while I'm on phone*
Me: *realize that I forgot to ask him if he wanted food* Hey dude, do you want to order something?
Him: *thinks* Nah, I'm fine, I brought my own lunch
Another Guy: That's good because we already called!
Me: Yeah, but it doesn't matter, I can call and tell them "Order++"
Him: Nah dude, tell him "++order", because maybe he'll bring the orders then go back and realize that he missed one
<<<<
I don't know, it was funny for me 🤷♂️1 -
Shout out to all the Indian Devs who are stuck in their corporate jobs, AC and drinking water are the only two things that are free in office, always dreaming of getting a job in Silicon Valley which unfortunately seems almost impossible, and lastly as they silently suffer at hands of their managers who know nothing more than entering numbers in an excel sheet.7
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My project manager just had a project review at a bar because there was no space at the office. There are literally so many people at the office that we're out of chairs. And space. In a few days three more developers are scheduled to arrive. I don't know where we will put them.4
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Yesterday, I came to the office a little late and found there's no coffee, so I set myself to make some. After making it, some of my coworkers told me that the boss wants us to use less coffee powder when making coffee and has gone as far as specifying the amount for a full pot. I think in the US, they drink coffee-flavored water because that's what it looks and tastes now. So I guess it's either no coffee for me or to buy my own coffee powder as my coworkers don't want to protest over this.15
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They've just brought in a desk to my office. They're gonna bring another Dev in...
This guy apparently works Erlang, Ocaml, Python... I work all C# so this is bound to be fucking good! Hahaha I'm happy.
4 -
Needs tidying and I’m not exactly using it for work at the moment... but this is my home office / bedroom setup.
There’s an Alienware Alpha hiding behind the MacBook, but it hasn’t actually been on more than once since the MacBook came home... 😂
2 -
Office Ninja!
Today, my PM dropped by in the morning and mentioned she had some customer feedback on some item in a project where I'm the holiday replacement for someone else. I already had work to do, so that kind of interruption wasn't welcome.
"Well yeah, just forward it to me, I'll see what I can do", I told her. She agreed. Half an hour later, still no email from her. Hey, that looked promising!
For the rest of the day, I didn't talk to her, avoided speaking at all when she was near and even sneaked by her room (open doors) in silent mode lest I drew her attention and she might have remembered the email.
Until afternoon when I went home, still no email. Success! :-)5 -
This is some real shady shit...
I was trying to set my office 365 account we got from school to gmail in my phone and this is what it wants to be able to do. In summary (Dutch screenshots):
- It can disable important safety features,
- Lock me out of my phone at any moment,
- Encrypt all data,
- Or just erase all of it
- And watch me while they do it
Nice.
3 -
So I tell my coworker how ticking noises of clocks can annoy me really bad. It is an OCD thing where I will not notice a clock, then I notice the ticking and it annoys the hell out of me.
He leaves the room after a while after turning on a fucking youtube video with 11 hours of ticking clock.
I am like, "You fucker..."
Then another guy we work with comes into the office and pretends like he is wondering what the ticking noise is.
I said, "Yeah right, he sent you in here to ask about didn't he?!" He was like "maybe..."
Anyway, that must mean I am part of the team now. They are screwing with me. All in good fun.2 -
I’m back after like one and a half year of inactivity and I have been in hell with this job but I’m absolutely unable to find one tale of hysteria to share.
Ha ha. You thought!
So, as backend developer, I’m naturally, currently working on redoing all our document templates since my boss has this impression I’m particularly good with MS Office. I don’t mind doing it for a couple of files, I have no urgent project or task atm and as we’re a small company everybody helps where it can.
But then my boss told me to change EVERY FUCKING TEMPLATE to the new branding guide.
So I did it. I wrote a monster.
An outrageous VBA Macro that sets automatically new headers, footers, margins, styles and whatever the fuck you want.
I don’t know if I have to be proud or disgusted of myself.
P.s.: missed this place4 -
RANT*1000000
Fuck you, Microsoft.
It's in the smallest details, like Office, that you just CAN'T install properly on Linux. I tried Wine, Winetricks, PlayOnLinux, went through like 10 different tutorials when I got stuck...
Even when I got Office 2013 relatively working (and then couldn't uninstall it later), the formatting got fucked all over the place. And none of the open source replacements do the proper formatting. Even OnlyOffice, that doesn't even have RTL (still!), gets it wrong.
And I know, dear Microshit, that you transferred to OOXML and many other word editors support it as well, but it still doesn't work like it should and you STILL refuse to release an Office bundle for Linux. In a world where I'm surrounded by MS users, I can't even view a word document properly, let alone edit it in a normal way.
If there's a way Microsoft can keep their clutch on the PC users, it's these small things, and for that - FUCK YOU MICROSOFT.37 -
Today I took an empty Whoppers carton and put Hersheys kisses in there.
The shear hate and discontent has been a great source of entertainment for me and my office mate.
One guy picked up the carton, looked inside, and threw it down on the table and stormed out. He has been telling me to f-off since then.4 -
Office prank of the day, bunch of arrogant computer scientists that I have to work with was supposed give a presentation about their algorithm; since I despise them I changed their entire printed materials (diagrams and so on) to comic sans. Our boss is an obsessive designer. Watching him cringe was the happiest I have been in weeks.1
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So it's a damn sunny Friday afternoon, perfect for a motherfucking picnic or whatever..
And I'm at the fucking office trying to solve a facebook share api related bug while some motherfuckers are having a roof party less than a block away!!
Fuck this shit, fuck you mark and fuck your devs.2 -
Are you guys rather work from homeoffice or do you like to go to the office?
Personally I found out that I'm almost twice as productive in homeoffice than at the office...8 -
I'm not a developer by profession and my home setup is always messy (where I develop personal projects) but I am an intern sysadmin so here is my office desk :) wanted to join the whole show your desk movement
Pardon me if the tags are not right. Im fairly new and mostly a reader.
1 -
Who thinks that noisy mechanical keyboard is a smart idea in an open office?
I think I'll go mad by the end of the month...14 -
The Cup Saga
My cause is valiant. My warrior's hearts were true... And quite frankly we are sorry if we have offended you.
Background: been missing my favourite cup at the office. I brought said cup from home like many of the devs do, we have our preferences you know? For 3 weeks I have been drinking mediocre coffee and the endless quest for my cup perused... I couldn't find it.. It was just missing.... Where could my trusty cup have gone... Its been with me since my second job in 2014, and its gotten me through so many late nights and early mornings, the reward of the perfect ratio... Turns out... Someone took it because... Well they liked it and habe been holding on to it ever since.... Why? No one really knows.. But I have my cup... And I intend to guard it... Since unlike the other cups it cannot be left in the cupboard.. It has to be defended.... Valiantly we recovered the cup... And tirelessly we will guard it now.. Sweet cup of mine...9 -
Late update to the party, but I’m temporarily occupying the newly decorated living room while my room / office is being prepared for a swish new look.
Obligatory code included.
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Food and Programmers life:
Spaghetti —> My Code
Pizza —> We are spending the night working in the office
Power Drinks —> delivery date is tomorrow morning
Candy —> extra task
Coffee —> bug massage
Water —> wash your face, we have meetings in five minutes
Truffle —> fu** BlockChain
KitKat —> upgrade your phone please
Lollipop —> one more time please
Marshmallow —> do you like some Nougat?7 -
I suspected that our storage appliances were prematurely pulling disks out of their pools because of heavy I/O from triggered maintenance we've been asked to automate. So I built an application that pulls entries from the event consoles in each site, from queries it makes to their APIs. It then correlates various kinds of data, reformats them for general consumption, and produces a CSV.
From this point, I am completely useless. I was able to make some graphs with gnumeric, libre calc, and (after scraping out all the identifying info) Google sheets, but the sad truth is that I'm just really bad at desktop office document apps. I wound up just sending the CSV to my boss so he can make it pretty.1 -
It happens some times. not actualy their fault.
Today i reached office on almost lunch time. and i saw our new intern(3 members) team trying something on same PC, something in like css file. (Helping each eachother).
Yes i Forgot to mention that they were supposed to finish that page-task yesterday (in angular app).
When i asked them about issue.On which i got to know that they were trying to apply css on class name. But could not since Morning.And when i saw code, It was something like this....
Yes "cls_model" is css class
7 -
Monday. Missed my two alarms. Woke up on time anyways. Got to the office early to be on time. Now i am waiting all my colleagues.. idk if today everyone took a day off or i am being pranked 🤔 #hatemondays2
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No offense...
But if I had a dollar for everytime, I faked a laugh in my office. I wouldn't need the job anymore.
*Surrounded by fucking dumbwits in the office*1 -
Yesterday was the first time I worked at the office during weekend.. Was really silent which was nice!2
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In a recent venture, I had to use an office suite and a photo editing software regularly. As a Linux user, I tried using Libreoffice and gimp. But that was just a mess. My other project partners were using MS office. Format, image alignments, fonts.. everything was messed up. Same happened wih the gimp. I know Photoshop, learnt while studying. Gimp was just no match to that. I was forced to go back to Windows. And I was surprised that the latest MS office and Adobe Creative Cloud were excellent. MS office was smoother and faster than Libreoffice.
I love linux. I have tried all the major distros and I love all of them. But I would still say that Linux is not the best option for day to day non-dev tasks. Whatever Richard Stallman and the Open Source Community say, Linux lack good softwares, at least some good document, photo, audio and video editing softwares.8 -
!dev.rant
So in just a matter of minutes my job security has crashed and any week could be my last again all because my jobs head office decided to change everyones positions in management...
So once again I'm back to square one in yet another useless fucking job search with barely anything to offer other than 5 years of retail experience and 3 years of IT support... Fan-fucking-tastic, would almost be more survivable to just go on centre link at this point -,- -
I'm so done with indeed and jobstreet. I couldn't find an office job that I passionately love. Most are looking for PHP devs, ASP.NET devs, Java devs or effing fresh graduates with 5 years of experience. I guess it's time for me to learn freelancing.1
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!rant !dev Still funny office story
This happened last november. I decorated my desk for halloween (plastic bats, vampire stickers, more bats, a plastic raven, a little skeleton, etc). I also put a photo of Chris Pohl (vocalist from Blutengel, a electro-goth band).
I decided to remove all the decorations except for the raven and the Chris Pohl‘s photo.
One day, a partner and I were cheking out the code, and she suddenly saw that photo.
She: Oh, who is he? is he your boss?
Me: What?
S: Yes, is he your direct boss?
M: No, you‘re my boss
S: No, no, is he the vampire who you report your activities with?
M: Oh! XD No, it‘s Chris Pohl, Blutengel‘s vocalist
S: Mmm... he‘s pretty weird... his eyes...
and then, she got back to her desk.
That‘s it, continue reading rant stories 😅
P.D. What‘s the weirdest thing you have on your desk? 🤔
9 -
I am only an intern and they said I can come to the office when I want to but I still feel like its making a bad impression if I dont go during the week :/4
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What's the best way to run MS Office from Linux? Cloud based, native with wine/play on linux, or a native suite? I don't want to run a VM just for office.
I've tried Libre Office but it doesn't format well for my college professors, and office online works but it's not as quick plus you need the online connection.
Would something like WPS Office be my best option if I wanted a native solution that looked and felt like office with the best level of compatibility?14 -
Today is a funny Monday: all the people at office forgot their keys at home (me included, also boss included) Until we can enter the office, I'm going to code at public library. At least I'm happy to carry portable Notepad++ in my pendrive!!
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New floor opened in our office building last month or so.. they are filling it and now there is lack of chairs. So we typically can pay musical chair @office. This is my wallpaper made using gimp
5 -
Is your office too cold? Centralized aircon and you can't control the temperature? 🙄 hard to type when it is too cold6
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Most of the time, I code in vim.
And when it come to "office job", I often fill the screen with that meaningless ":w", "%s", "dd", "/", etc...
Am I the only one doing this?4 -
That moment when someone asks you, if they can get a Microsoft Office license for free from you.
Admit it! We have all tried it.4 -
I thought other people were weak for having to rely on coffee to be productive. God I was wrong. Now I am the worst caffeine addict in the office.2
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So some people will be happy, but LibreOffice 6 will introduce a MS Office 2007-like ribbon thing.
It's optional for people who prefer the old version, but it may bring more people into LO. That's cool.
source: https://wiki.documentfoundation.org/...1 -
How to troll your coworkers at the office - http://fakeupdate.net
If your coworker forgot to log off their system, you can prank them with fake update screen. Also has the option of BSoD *maniacal evil laugh*6 -
so when someone in the office finds a funny design or absurd code on our sites we play a game we named roulette: we check the versioning system and find who did it... there is no price in this game, that shame is enough :)3
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Arg so we were acquired by a corporate company a few months back and now they have installed cameras in the office and swipe cards... No trust :/1
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How MS Office came about:
In the office suite I think the top guys stayed for Excel. These guys, are so good. They build Access. But it was always after 6pm on saturdays.
The "I know stuff, and I'll figure things along the way" guys stayed with Word. And in their part time, developed Powerpoit.
Excel guys were so great, they also developed the WordArt and later the SmartArt for Word and Powerpoint!
Thats why we still have that awefull blue and red-wine colours as default...2 -
The company where i am working at currently is kinda weird. The company is run by a gujrati guy and he has placed almost all his cousins in high positions...and on top of that the CTO (whos the bro of the owner) micromanages people and also fires them on a whim...i am kinda worried that if i am not able to do a particular task, i would be fired too...He has asked me to do unit testing of some complicated functions on mocha/chai and i have never done all this before. I am not understanding what to do and there are no senior devs in the office who knows about these things...5
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Hey DevRant, I'd like you to meet "Marketing Brandon", his favorite daily activities include:
- asking me when that landing page is going to be ready
- asking how to support a customer on live chat even though he chose to assign the ticket to himself in the first place
- explaining how important social media is
- telling me he's working as fast as he can on some website copy I need and then sitting and composing tweets for 40 minutes
- asking if I can "just real quickly when I get the chance" implement a huge new feature for our users
- announcing to the entire office that he "has to leave early today" because the pet store closes at 5 and his ferret ran out of food yesterday
-.-
Does your office have a Marketing Brandon or similar?
3 -
How is it possible that Microsoft Office and Open Office have less portability issues then Microsoft Office on Windows vs. Microsoft Office on Mac? It's supposed to be the same f*king programm developed by the same company! <.<2
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Ford vs Ferrari shows everything wrong with upper management. They are a bunch egoistic pricks in suits who have nothing better to do than play office politics and take credit for the hard work of people under them.
One of the best movie I have ever seen. Made me wanna smell some oil and grease.1 -
COV-SARS-2 rant!!
I know most of us engineers/developers/etc are quite introverted people, who are happiest when we are left alone with our best friends (we all know who/what those are 👨🏼💻), but I miss working with colleagues in the office, and seeing some faces as well :(
Discussing plans over hangouts/slack can sometimes be cumbersome, compared to face-to-face conversations 🤷♂️15 -
all those muggles making presentations in power point pff - at least use libre office...
But I use a web page as presentation 😎3 -
So it's Friday and keep in mind this is an open plan office and on fridays the office supplies unlimited beer on company time. Someone bought a pile of new rubber ducks for the office. Little did he know that when you squeeze them they squeak... I'm sure you can imagine the scene, very little work was done.1
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Can't git push
because of an "access denied" error message
because I didn't set up my key file properly (with right paths, right format and so on)
because I'm working from my home laptop device
because I'm in home office
because Corona
..but..
I can connect to my work computer where git is set up properly but also I
can't git push
because I can't "cd" into the project path
because the samba mount point is messed up
because I don't reboot my machine to fix it
because I can't enter my password
because it does have a full hard drive encryption and the password screen shows up before the network services are started.3 -
"F*ck Microsoft!" **posts online using Windows**
Well thanks to them, I was able to finish my f*cking project in college using Microsoft Office.3 -
Work office, using xencenter for viewing xenserver server, tailing some logs and manjaro (arch linux) for bash stuff, and a coffee for good habits hahaha
4 -
rant && !rant
so my company just relocated to another part of the city.
it took about 2-3 months of searching for a space till the management found a suitable place. then about one more month for settling on the details (price, when we move, etc). then another month of just waiting for the space to be ready ...
the actual move took 1 day ... just one day ...
so the new place
- is better placed (for me at least)
- has lots of nice pubs / restaurants around for lunch or just relaxing after work
- has great views from every office
- lots of extra space for everyone
- ok people (so far) working at the other companies in the same space
- everyone seems so much more relaxed and easygoing and happy at the new place
But:
- the ac is still not working (32 degrees Celsius outside, and our office is facing the sun almost all day)
- for the first days we were lacking blinds at the windows
- office was full of little stinky bugs and they still keep showing up when we open up the windows
So, overall pretty great ... so (rant part??) WHY DID IT TAKE SO LONG TO MOVE HERE ??? (both before it was decided to move, about 4 years at the old place, and after)
also, relating to the topic of the week ... nothing code related was learned, much was gained, and a life lesson was obtained: if you don't like something, just change it as soon as you can -
Just ordered 3 new setups for our upcoming office - parts will arrive next week, absolutely hyped 😍
Each setup includes Ryzen 7 2700X, 16GB TridentZ RAM, Samsung EVO 970 M2 SSD, RX 570 Armor 8GB, Be quiet CM 10 600W, 3x Riing 12 coolers, NZXT H500 case. Also a 4K 27" Samsung Monitor and a 29" LG Ultrawide. Kind of overkill for office PCs, but as we're also hobby game developers and had kind of a budget, we figured it will fit our needs more than enough 😄 Pictures of the builds coming up soon!13 -
Passive aggressive coworkers that have problems with each others work but instead of working out problems together they just complain about each other to me and try to drag me into it. What makes people think I want to play office politic games with them? I'm just there to code!1
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It fucking sucks to be home once every week because it's raining and transport modes are affected!
I'm bored at home. I want to go to office!!!!!!!6 -
Actually, the office. Because it's a space exclusively for working.
I did home office for quite a while and still do so from time to time but i get distracted and/or lazy too easily to really get something done at home.
In the office, I have to be focused and so I am for 8+ hrs.
Unpopular opinion: 9to5 is great.1 -
Is the office dead in the dev world? Does everyone prefer to work remote from home, coffee shops or Coworking spaces? Or is there still value in working as a team irl, but modern office culture is killing it?24
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The prank happened last 2 years ago. Me and my office mate we love to prank inside the office using our technical skills. One time while our target is on break we took an exact screenshot of his desktop and we manage to hide both cursor and his entire desktop exept the screenshot of his desktop.
After half an hour, the target approach us to fix his issue he restarted the PC multiple times and we laugh so hard because he said his PC keeps hanging or freeze. Hahaha LMAO.
Then after we laugh we reveal that his PC is fine we just replace his desktop with a fake desktop image. He even laugh on our prank hahaha.
Did you prank your office mate the same prank we did? Haha I would advice choose carefully who to prank.7 -
Setting up a laptop for the next employee. Office 365 has taken over two hours to install in what it states as "just a moment."
OpenOffice for life.
4 -
Funny thing I like to do sometimes that I learned from the movie called Office Space:
Peter Gibbons: Yeah, I just stare at my desk, but it looks like I'm working. I do that for probably another hour after lunch too, I'd say in a given week I probably only do about fifteen minutes of real, actual, work. -
Ugh... some people...
Just left the office early because of the toxic climate. That one infamous collegue is basically unable to communicate without being a narcissistic 5-year-old and was arguing whether we should write a test (I was going to write the test) that would need a single additional branch in the build system.
(The test was for a parser and it should test whether it can handle absolute paths. A simple regression test with a file and an expected output. Because absolute paths are different for every platform and user, the files to be parsed would have to be generated with appropriate paths before the tests were run. Well that would require one single python script and a single line in the script that runs the script and DONE)
Well that guy was unable to focus on his own work and started an argument about whether that test was necessary.
Even though I still think it is necessary, it might have been a reasonable argument if he would have acted more agreeable. But he was saying the feature was useless anyways "everyone will use relative paths only anyways" and "because noone here cares a ratass about maintaining the tests it will all fall on me again" ..
Wtf was this guys problem, I (CAPS) was going to write the stupid test and since when do we not write tests in order to better maintain our product? I get that he worries that the test environment will get more messy, but thats better than having the product code go messy or unfunctional! And c'mon guys, how are absolute paths a redundant feature... -
My office uses decade old refurbished optiplexs. One of them even runs win7 32bit (ALL the rest or 64 bit) last night I stayed late to finalize some setup for moving the shared folder from a network shared external drive plugged into one person's computer. Over to a system that'll act as a NAS as well as run some simple automation (nightly backups mostly)
While doing that I remembered one person complaining their computer not always booting right. So I turned it on. Made sure it worked didn't notice any obvious issues. Turned it off. Unplugged it. Opened it up. didn't see any obvious issues so I closed it back up. Tried to turn it back on and it refused. Then I smelled burning electronics. Quickly turned it off unplugged and opened.
I think something shorted and the hard drive finally failed or something. I don't know what exactly it could've been but I threw a fit and left for the day
I'm currently in my way in early to swap that computer out and do some more investigating. Wish me luck talking to my boss less than a month in and something breaks while I'm in the office alone8 -
SOOO last monday I got a new MS Office and Outlook in my office. It's ugly as fuck and not as functionable as the old one we got here, and I cannot install Thunderbird or so...
But at least NIGHT THEME WUUUU
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I need your thoughts on a privacy related matter. I find this fact being very provocative.
So, at work we use Gmail:
Person AB has email AB@company.tld
Person ABC has email ABC@company.tld
How is it that when you send an e-mail to AB, that ABC sends back a god damn Out-of-office, without ABC being in either To, CC or BCC?
I reckon that the mailbox AB is owned by said company, and ABC is the owner of all those accounts. But shouldn't the contents of such mailbox still be private in some regard? (At least until AB isn't in the company anymore?)
It's funny, as a customer said she got an out of office from ABC, while solely sending one to AB.. I noticed this a few weeks back, and I'm rather infuriated by the fact that there's a possibility that every e-mail AB reveives, also ends up in in ABC's box.
🤔13 -
I plan on going to office on time... I generally reach after 10:30, timing mentioned on my offer letter was 9:00.
So, waking up has never been an issue.
But I wake up, lay on my bed doing nothing... Sit on my bed doing nothing... Does everything in ultra slow motion...
And regardless of how I early I wake up I'm always late. Ugh.2 -
We recently hired a new head for one of our office districts and I am absolutely horrified how bad she is at using computers. It’s like she has never used a computer before!
Where do they get this guys and why do they hire them!?1 -
The guy (!dev think he is some kind of analyst) who insists on pacing up and down the open plan office with his Bluetooth headset when on a call1
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Any Ideas for pimpin' our Office?
My collegue and me are looking for some cool Stuff to "developify" our room. Currently we have only a Poster with "Hello World" in several Programming Languages11 -
Leaving the office before everyone else and having to walk out in front of them has to be one of the embarrassing in the office.
You can't really look at your colleagues because they would be definitely thinking something like "hmm he gets to leave before me every day".
You can't really walk out infront of them ignoring their existence. That would be rude I feel.
This is one of that moment where I wish if I had the power to be invisible.15 -
Home office adventures day 1:
Coffee machine good
Productivity low
don't know if this is too good for me, we'll see -
So basically I am the computer guy in my office. If there is any hardware or software related problem, I am the guy who fix it or try to fix it in my own time.
Little bit of more backstory. Two month ago we got react native project from a client. My boss asked me if I want to do that project. he knew that I don't know react native but I want to learn it. So I said yes. I have worked over 12 hours per day to work on that project while learning react native ( I committed the final version to git today.)
Yesterday there was a meeting in our office about project deadlines and issue with current work and stuff. In that meeting one guy asked (this guy had personal beef with me) in rude way like why I am taking parts of pc and given other people. ( If there is any hardware issue, I use other parts from pc which are not currently in use. So basically a simpe resource allocation.)
I knew it was a targeted questio toward me but before I say anything, All people took his side. (I did all those repair after taking permission from my boss, so he did not take that question seriously.)
I spend lots of time fixing those problem so people work does not stop and this is the thank you I got in return. I did this over one and half year. Right now I am asking my self if I continue the work or not.
Note: I wrote this whole thing to get my anger out of me. Sorry for typos. I am little bit drunk and I am not good with English.2 -
My colleague is having fever with reactjs and tools. Why the hell a 5 pages static cooperate website of our own need to use webpack?! How often we need to update the site? And today he spent whole day configure his gulp and deployment automation. If I were him, I would have finish the task with bootstrap, jquery and filezilla.3
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I am using Manjaro as the main OS on my computer. But I have an original Windows 10 license, as well as an Office 2013.
I want/need to have them installed on PC, as I need to use it sometimes.
But if I install my Windows 10, it will certainly destroy my grub and I know I will have a hard time to make it work again.
Would it be a good idea to install them on a virtual PC? I know it would not be good with games, but the only game I have is GTA IV (that I am not even sure if it still works on Windows 10).
Thanks!4 -
I am working more effectively nowadays from home rather than from office.
At office, I end up spending most time in eating, playing table tennis and meetings.
The only thing I am missing at my house is my 2 big 27" 4k office monitors. -
One thing I have realised these days is that I don't like the work from home setup.
Maybe it's the because of the bad working environment.
I actually appreciate office space more now. Once, out of office, it was easier to zone out of work mode and I didn't feel this much tired when working in office.1 -
I normally have my Windows desktop and my Kubuntu laptop, but I’m on “holiday”, and I only brought my laptop. “I can write a simple research proposal on it, right?”, I thought. Ahahahaha, no. Turns out Libre Office and Mendeley are fucking useless on Linux. I had to give up and use my mum’s prehistoric Windows 7 laptop... Also Snap is “great” in theory (basically a Linux setup.exe, rendering packages pointless), but nothing I’ve tried worked so far. Docker can’t figure its permissions out, Chromium cursors break, and Mendeley doesn’t even detect Libre Office as installed. What a fucking shit show. I love Linux for dev, but no fucking surprise that no sane human being uses it for everyday tasks.16
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I cleaned up my desk and decluttered everything to freshen things up.
It's much nicer to have a clean desk especially when a desk is the only 'office' in your business.
It's not perfect, but it's much better than before :)
PS: I wouldn't dare to share the mess it was and burn it through your eyes... It'd be a sin.
6 -
So I started a new on prem contract. No coffee machine in the office and the kitchen has no utensils. Wtf
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as someone who never worked in an office, or in a team, new term for me:
cowboying
I can guess what it means, but..
please, share... and elaborate
is this a new term?
I don't get to hear much office gossip... :)3 -
Just fired up my Windows 10 VM and it goes ham... there is nothing installed but office.
Why!?
Seriously. If someone can explain to me why this is necessary, I'd greatly appreciate it!
It's 15 minutes past when I've resumed the VM from suspension now and it's still going on like that and it's slow as fuck.
I don't want this to escalate to an OS war. Tastes are different.
As I was writing this: apparently Office is updating itself by default consuming a shitload of system resources while doing so. This is fucked up...
4 -
Spend last two hours trying to get a language pack for Microsoft Office. Two fuckin' hours with just an error saying "Please check your internet connection and see if you have space on disk"
Yes motherfucker, I fuckin have internet connection and I have 1 fuckin terabyte free on my fucking disk.
The only fuckin solution on Office's forum is to uninstall and reinstall the whole office software. Just to add one fuckin language pack.
I'm going crazy... Everyday I hate Microsoft products more and more and fuckin more.1 -
Just got the news that I can start house hunting next week. My office will soon have a new home 💪🏼1
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There's a conference room on the other side of the office. I've never been in it but I feel like only nonsense happens there.
*conference room door opens*
Someone in room: 'Taylor Swift is single again!'
10+ people inside: 'WOOOOOOOOO!!!'
Me: *smh* -
Question to all linux users:
tl;dr MS office alternate for linux?
I am planning on switching from Win to some linux distro. But I hesitate bc I don't know what I should use instead of MS office or how I could still use it. I am searching an office suite that has a rather comprehensive UI, is stable, can be used offline and is compatible with MS Office since I still have to use it in school.
What do you use or would recommend?5 -
I literally start coughing/sneezing as soon as I enter the Office. Had the same issue with the previous Office as well.
With offices paying no attention to hygiene, another reason to prefer remote roles?1 -
I need recommendations for a Bluetooth keyboard for my MBP 2018 15". Thanks! 🙂
My preference:
- compact and quiet (no numpad)
- soft to press
- chiclet type with normal travel
- OS X layout
- NOT a mechanical keyboard
- NO USB receiver
Nice to have/Bonus:
- good design for office work
- backlit functionality
- known brand
- rechargeable5 -
I'm helping my teammates with the problems that they face in debugging an issue or fixing a Dev environment.
Sometimes ppl go too flexible and ask for my Dev VM. The help I have to offer is tell them cause of an issue and tell them the fix that they have to give. What the fu*k they do? What did they gain as experience all these years.
Ppl don't know how to make draft commits. They can't fix but failures. They don't know anything.
They just sit at office and age as it is their only job.
Seniors take so much salary. Why don't they feel bad that they are not doing justice to their work. -
I've just found an article that states that MS Office 2016 can now be installed on Ubuntu using CrossOver, which is the version of wine one has to pay for.
Is there some version of wine or an alternative which is free and allows me to do this?
Yes, I know the alternatives of online MS, google docs, libre office and whatnot, so spare me these comments please.
(ref: https://omgubuntu.co.uk/2017/12/...)7 -
Office gadget?
My coworker gave me 30€ for an account we share. I didn’t expected that and he doesn’t want it back. Now I tough I buy something useful or at least funny we can use in our room.
Do you guys have any gadget u really like?5 -
Argument in the office today when the designers went rogue, ignoring the PM's agreed plan with the client and started mock-ups for what they thought would look better. Boiled down to "No. Just stop that and do what I asked, you're wasting your time." vs "No, we're doing this. I'm a designer, I know this will look better."
Anyone else had issues with designers trying to take charge?3 -
Microsoft Office Communicator (2007) is complete junk.
It can't even save a conversation session overnight -
So, my university has a mandatory community service program where basically students are sent to help developing infrastructure and society in undeveloped parts of the country. I and my team are going to depart in the end of this month.
We're going to help raising IT-literacy level by teaching high school students basic programming with Scratch or Python. Is that too much? Should we just start with teaching Ms. Office instead? Or do you guys have any opinion?7 -
Indefinite wait at the doctor's office, and the lightweight game that requires an internet connection for its single-player mode for no reason other than that it can decides that LTE isn't good enough, it only wants Wifi, but won't tell you...
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It's the time of the year when we waste some days playing PS at the office and repeat to ourselves:
- no one cares, it's almost Christmas!
I have a feeling that after December clients will come looking for blood, and we will work 20 hours a day...
But...
Who cares? It's almost Christmas! -
Right after entering the Office Depot:
Employee: Do you have a computer?
Me: (awkwardly) yes.
Employee: When was the last time you diagnosed your computer?
Me : (wtf) never
Employee: Bring your computer to us, we will do free diagnosis and help you fix issues and bla bla bla ....
I left.2 -
Trying to help my friend fix his Microsoft Office over the phone.
Friend: 'I seem to be having some trouble installing Office'
Me: 'What version are you trying to install?'
Friend: 'Windows 10' -
I'm stuck in a rented apartment in my work-city and working from 'home' during the quarantine. Now, the owner wants me to leave for a month while he shuts down the place - right after the quarantine ends - when I HAVE TO GO TO OFFICE.
:]5 -
Sent this to a coworker. He said don't share it with other people in the company; they are not ready.
https://ribbonfarm.com/2009/10/... -
We have about 12 standing desks at the office for people who say they /need/ them.
I only ever see two people standing.
One guy is standing every month for a few days, and sometimes for the whole month.
The other one, where a whole team moved for so he can have his standing desk, has his desk up high every day but is sitting on a high stool in an unergonomic way, slouching forward.
All the other people just don't use it ever.
Plenty of people who want to actually use it don't get the opportunity.6 -
!rant
Who here uses mechanical keyboards at work?
I have an old razor at home with Cherry MX Blue switches, very noisy so definitly not suited when around co-workers.
Any recomendations on silent boards suitable for office life? I've looked at the Logitech g413 with romer-g switches but I am unsure if these are pleasant to work with.
I am also considering POK3R, Ducky One or WASD with Cherry MX Brown switches specifically for office. Would like to hear experiences from fellow devs who prefer mechanical keyboards and use them around co-workers.2 -
Homeoffice brought me too close to my customers. Not all of them. One... Constant questions. Constantly. Chat for almost an hour. Had multiple of them already.
Honestly, I had 20 minutes per day contact when I sat in the next office over. And now I do have 4 hours of talking to that customer.3 -
CEO of my company often walks in our office with a joke: "I can't hear you do bit & byte".
I still don't catch it. -
Getting real sick of working in the home office. Actually getting real sick of working on my laptop with one screen only, so I thought I'd set up a work environment on my Desktop.
I setup a dual boot to Linux, encrypted that hard drive. And so on. But besides that it is a virgin system. Because my wife was using the computer to play Skyrim.
She lay in bed and I asked her if she wanted to use the computer. She said no. So I booted to Linux. I just opened my terminal when I hear her saying: "I want to play."
I suspect I am married to Andy Pipkin, but I am afraid that if I confront her with that she will answer: "Yes, I know."7 -
Legitimately thinking about making a joke website to count how many times music starts playing from my phone after I disconnect my headphones...2
-
so what is worse than monday morning?
It's finding the right angle for your macbook pro screen because the office changed the fucking lights and they reflect more than ever.
AND THEY ARE BRIGHT AS HELL. MY EYES BURN!3 -
This will sound silly as I was a 6 yo back then. My father had got a computer for doing some office work. He used to do a lot of the stuff using MS Word. I loved seeing the Pipes screensaver marvelling at the infinite combinations of pipes. But, what got me the most excited was Clippy, the infamous Office Assistant. I started using computer just to play around with clippy. Right click, do a trick and stuff. Oh the memories...1
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!rant
Imagine your company would spend 100$ more per employee to rent a bigger, nicer office. Imagine how much additional space you'd have there. Maybe individual offices for everybody, or at least not more than two or three employees per office? Telephone booths for long calls, or a library to work in absolute silence, to do research, or to study something new there.
How would that affect your productivity and overall happiness? How much better you'd feel there? How much more relaxed would you be? How much less sick days would you have, and how much money would your company save resp. make more due to higher productivity?
Or would you rather have a salary raise of 100$?4 -
Anyone facing the problem with WPS office for Linux,
when you paste a text into the cell, it takes 2 rows and the text is being pasted on the bottom row
This is really annoying cuz if there is something already in the next row, it gets removed2 -
As much as I prefer dark themes, I do prefer the Colorful theme for Office 365. Really helps all its apps stand out and gives them personality.
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We are not allowed to install anything on our school PC's, not even fonts. I need suggestions for some nice MS office fonts.1
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Finally after one year i managed to set up my home office - so much more comfortable than sitting on the kitchen table when I am working on some side projects, from home or when I am playing some computer games
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I love you sooo much Microsoft! Your goddamn Office download page won't stop re-loading. For fucks sake, get your shit together.
Someone messed with something they shouldn't, but I have no idea what it could be.
And no, I'll not try open it on IE.
3 -
Office manager just mandated that our standing desks would have a "cable pouch" installed at the rear for cable management. My cable tray **was** the neatest of everyone in dev, now it's unscrewed on the floor and all my cables plus the laptop charger are hanging loose, because notmyjob.jpg and contractors generally DGAF.
Oh, and they didn't install it flush with the rear of the desk, presumably because they didn't want to take off my laptop stand. So it's right in the way of my feet when I'm sitting.
Nothing that I can't fix with a screwdriver in my own time, fortunately. -
:rage 😡 😡 Gee I hope I get a fucking 0x80004005 error again today trying to validate my Mac copy of Office 365. I guess it's back to OpenOffice for me. 😡 😡 😡1
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So far not much has changed in my office, only a colleague or three are working from home for two weeks as a precautionary measure after returning from a Coronavirus hot-spot.
For myself I see little danger: I commute by car, the office is so far Coronavirus-free, and I still have to go to shops to get food etc.
I'm more comfortable working in the office, as the environment is set up better, and I can chat with colleagues more easily when needed. If I should need to WFH for extended periods, I'll need another monitor (currently I have one nice 27" BenQ monitor on my desk at home), and a mechanical keyboard (the one I bought is in the office). -
Lovely Summer day outside (you don't get many of those in London), and the office I work at doesn't even have windows.4
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In a quiet, closed space unhindered by distractions.
For me (and I'd imagine, many others here), constant conversations in the background, people walking by, etc absolutely kill my focus and keep me from getting work done. Working from home helps a bit, but my neighbors provide plenty of their own distractions.
Honestly, I'll take a broom closet with a laptop, headphones and an Ethernet jack over any other open office design. -
Well thanks a lot for the clarification of WHY I cannot sync my work (Office 365) mail using the mail client in Windows 10!
It's not that it's wrong; it's (probably) very much correct.
It's not that it's not precise; I don't think it could be anymore precise than a data dump like that.
It's not that trying to help me solve the problems; I'm sure it is.
But now that I have all the (debug) info about the security policies in place it would be great if it would show what violated which policy and maybe even what they mean and how to fix it?
The most concrete to go by is the error code, and judging by a google that has meant "your mail has problems" for at least three years...
...not even a single link was found to the (only) page detailing content, possible values, and dependencies between policies.
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I'd rather love to work here, I know it's not really an office buts it's way cool
http://techeblog.com/index.php/...1 -
Is there any way to browse devRant in the office like an extension or something else rather than jsrant or xmlrant?9
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I have a colleague which wants all lights in the office to be on, he/she says that he/she doesn't see colors in monitor clearly with 1/3 of the light.15
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