62
Root
39d

Them: Root, you take too long to get tickets out. You only have a few simple ones. You really need to rebuild your reputation.

Also them: Hey, could you revisit this ticket? Could you help ____ with this other ticket? Hey Root, how do you do this? Root, someone had a suggestion on one of your tickets; could you implement that by EoD? Hey Root, i didn't read your ticket notes; how do you test it? Hey, could you revisit this ticket for the fourth time and remove some whitespace? Hey Root, someone has non-blocking code review comments you need to address before we can release the ticket. Hey Root, we want to expand that ticket scope by 5-6 times; still labeled a trivial feature though.

Also them: Super easy ticket for you. Make sure you talk with teams A, B, C, D, E and get their input on the ticket, talk with ____ and ____ and ____ about it, find a solution that makes them all happy and solves the problem too, then be sure to demo it with everyone afterward. Super easy; shouldn't take you more than a couple days. Oh, and half of them are on vacation.

Also them: Hey, that high-priority ticket you finished months ago that we ignored? Yeah, you need to rewrite it by tomorrow. Also, you need to demo it with our guy in India, who's also on vacation. Yes, tomorrow is the last day. (The next day:) You rewrote it, but weren't able to schedule the demo? Now you've missed the release! It's even later! This reflects very poorly on you.

Also them: Perfect is the enemy of good; be more like the seniors who release partially-broken code quickly.

Also them: Here's an non-trivial extreme edgecase you might not have covered. Oh, it would have taken too much time and that's why you didn't do it? Jeez, how can you release such incomplete code?

Also them: Yeah, that ticket sat in code review for five months because we didn't know it was high-priority, despite you telling us. It's still kinda your fault, though.

Also them: You need to analyze traffic data to find patterns and figure out why this problem is happening. I know you pushed the fix for it 8 months ago, and I said it was really solid, but the code is too complex so I won't release it. Yeah I know it's just a debounce with status polling and retrying. Too complex for me to understand. Figure out what the problem is, see if another company has this same problem, and how they fixed it.

-------------

Yep. I'm so terrible for not getting these tickets out, like wow. Worst dev ever. Much shame.

LF work, PST.

Comments
  • 22
    It's ok. Don't let them get to you, if I didn't know better I would say that's their goal.
  • 10
    This seems like you're the only competent enough person at work and they try to rub anything off to you. I'm in no way qualified to say this but get the hell out of there.
  • 13
    @Ranchonyx I’m not the only competent one; there are a few others.

    But yep, I agree. I definitely need to leave.
  • 6
    I dunno why but I'm singing "Knife goes in, guts come out".

    Don't do it in reality, but sheesh. You really need another job, that's torture.
  • 2
    Your reputation is low but let’s trust you to do every damn thing for us!

    Debouncer complex? Lol it’s just simple timer.

    handleChange = (e) => {
    clearTimeout(timeout)
    timeout = setTimeout(callbackForInput, time)
    }
  • 3
    Holy shit I have no words.

    This is the reason why I never help noobs 1on1 if I have other things to work on.

    How can you keep yourself together in this clusterfuck?
  • 1
    That's like every jobs I've ever had except the current one but now I'm still burnt out from the previous ones to be fully satisfied with myself at the current one. Getting my mana back little by little though.

    Anyway, conclusion: gtfo. Find yourself a job where you're not the only person responsible for everybody's paycheck. Trust me, it's life changing. Do it before it's too late.

    PS: Fuck bottom feeders.
  • 3
    Here, I wrote your resignation for you:

    Dear Incompetent Fuckwit

    Please gather all of the tickets I’ve ever worked on, roll them into a big fat tube and shove them sideways up your botty.

    Goodbye
  • 1
    Wow... that's a really fucked up situation...
  • 1
    @AnxiousADHDGuy it looks like almost the entire building is noobs. I respect juniors, everyone starts out somewhere but these guys seem to have senior titles with junior skill sets. She always has to be the babysitter whether it’s helping the “DBA” read sql log files, or the “security specialist” who barely does shit. I’m guessing it’s the “senior front end engineer” who complained about a simple debouncer, assuming the callback was simple enough.
  • 1
    Root, for fuck’s sake. Quit already!
  • 1
    I still remember reading how it took you hours/days to figure out a minor UI change due to the sheer mess of the codebase...

    Yeah I'm not sure what to even say
  • 1
    One ideia is to keep a log of everything that you do. You can nerd about it and use some tracking software, or simply a bullet point list for each day. Keep it at hand and show it to them when they complain. Bonus: you'll feel more productive by keeping this list updated and see it growing.

    If tickets are not being a good representation of your productivity, you need to have another system in parallel for your own safety. That's what I do.
  • 0
    @rubslopes I do the same thing, and it works really well.
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