!tech i don't understand how people makes any place a home?

I have an experience of living with my parents and that is a place where i feel belonging and safe, but i wonder why? like , in your home, you could be awake till 4 am and still sleep like a log. you won't have thoughts of strangers trying to murder you or rob you when you hear the slightest noise. (atleast not occasionally)

but this is not the case when you try to live alone. for eg , i would often call/text someone before sleep when i am staying in a hotel room. and if the hotel isn't a superior one (imagine those close, small rooms w in a broken up 2 star hotel in a quiet and unpopulated area), i would be sleeping with my eyes open, praying the night to get over

So an early conclusion can be this : a person would feel safe and carefree wherever they are with known people. in my home i got my parents. although its weird since they are neither physically nor financially powerful to deal with any stranger situation. But still, a home feels home. and a home feels safe.

maybe it's because of the the people around the home? so most people have neighbours, shops, parks, efc around their homes. some even have forests, police stations or other places in vicinity. so does that make an area safe to breathe ?

For our family, i don't know if that thing applies. our neighbours are crappy dummies who would rather have someone's home burning than coming for rescue, but fight to death if someone parks in their spot or ask them to fix something. If their is a robbery in our area, i would rather suspect one of those assheads to be the culprits than someone from outside.

however, knowing the fact that they know us makes me think that this is a considerable factor that add to the sense of safeness in an environment . i guess that's why even the verbal quarrels among neighbours are done in such a noisy manner.

So if someone is shifting to another location, say in a different city or even a different state, they should spend first few days befriending every neighborhood person? that would be a weird approach. i have seen a few shiftings in my area and the new people rarely try to come into attention. even the people who get shifter on temporary basis (i.e the rent based pg/tenents etc), are always silent.

so how exactly does anyone make a new house, their comfortable and safe 'home' ?

  • 4
    It just needs Time which is the best medicine overall
  • 2
    To answer the part of that that caught my eye. Assuming certain bitter jealous fucked up psychos begin respecting the property and dwellings of others.

    Fill your home with things that relax you or remind you of things you enjoy. But home is a refuge don't make your whole life there or you'll get depressed.
  • 7
    It sounds like you suffer from anxiety.

    You should talk with a therapist about what makes you feel this way. A good therapist will empower you to work through your own problems with only minor probing.

    Some of the things that could help you out now, bring smells from "home". Scents have a way of cutting through all the brains bullshit and getting you right to the last moment you smelled that.

    Anytime I smell cheap cigarettes, truck exhaust, and fresh lumber it's almost like my father is standing next to me if I close my eyes.

    You'll get there but like @asgs said, it takes time.
  • 1
    Your description of sleeping in a 2* hotel surprisingly accurately describes my experience of sleeping in a bnb in Naples :) I was trully afraid for my and my fam's life.

    On the topic, though, my house is my stronghold. I know every inch of it, I know every possible sound of it. I have ultimate control over it. It's mi casa. Should anyone try to break in, I have all the weapons, all the possible advantage to undermine the intruder. According to local law, if the intruder steps into my house and he is bigger/stronger than I am, I have the right to use lethal force, after warning him, and It would be treated as self-defence.

    I am the king of my palace. Master of mi casa. I do as I will, and that's far more than being a little devil or lazy bum and staying up until 4am surrounded by chips and pizzas.
  • 2
    We have horrible neighbours at one side, and really kind at the other. Still they can both be trusted with bringing us a missed delivery, sometimes we can ask eachother small favors (bring out the trash when on holiday, take care of pets for a few days, do a joint purchase etc).

    I've been living in my own house without an alarm system since 2019. The neighbourhood is relatively quiet. The thought that keeps me feeling safe is that we have so little of value that it's just not worth risking getting caught for someone breaking in. At most you could probably get 2k value in stuffs. And even if it happened recovery wouldn't be such a pain.

    I don't go out to meet ppl proactively but if our paths cross by coincidence or there's a local event I happen to pass I might have a short chat.

    I still stay up late and enjoy the freedom and also was forced to learn A LOT
  • 0
    As a ex life as traveling consultant and since I'm older and had alot of homes.

    Strategy A (not mine): Bring a cake, ring on your neighbours door and chat abit. This is actually in many cities a great example to be a good neighbour yourself.

    Strategy B (mine): I don't give a shit about neighbours, they don't give a shit about me.

    Strategy C (hotel): Don't brag or show what you got. I usually have a bag or two. Nothing screams notebook or anything. Noone steals your dirty old cloth. If I have alot of money or mobile phone or anything worth I don't leave it in the room without me. I consider the room safe not worth a dime, but using it while you sleep will wake you up if they try it.

    But I'm german and it is generally safe in germany.
  • 0
    Keep a big dog. It will bite the robber's ass. Or at least, bark to wake you up. Their hearing are so much better than us, and they can get up faster without being disoriented.
  • 0
    How many times have you witnessed someone getting murdered in the next room in a hotel?

    @webketje wtf, do you have the USA style trash day in Belgium, where you need to take all your garbage to the street on a specific day and then bring all the containers back? Why?
  • 2
    The real question is: Why do you expect strangers to come for you? Fix the reason and it won't be hard to at least temporarily settle down in less dangerous places.
  • 2
    @AvatarOfKaine rare sane reply from you AoK to give! Keep this up, are you sober right now?
  • 1
    @electrineer Belgian here as well, we do take out the trash weekly since it's a community service. Nothing hard to do actually. Belgium is actually a nice country to live in.
  • 0
    @NeatNerdPrime where I live, the garbage can/container is permanently positioned so that the garbage truck can empty it whenever. They do follow a schedule but the residents can take their garbage out to the container whenever they feel like doing so, probably when they are walking past it anyway.
  • 1
    There is no place like home 🏡
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