Lawyer: "I heard you do websi..."

Me: "No."

Never, ever again will I do a website for anyone in the law profession. You can write the most airtight and amazing contract ever devised and they will find a way over, under, around, and through it to SCREW YOU UP THE ASS.

  • 29
    Well i mean it is their job.
  • 39
    your conditions:
    - 3x the normal rate ( you're worth it, they can afford it)
    - all up front
    - agreed upon ammount of hours. Use a ticketing system

    When the hours are up, renew or part ways.

    Or let them go with some scrub and rack up a bunch of technical debt
  • 18
    Add a condition: Contract can only be voided by the dev and only the dev :P
  • 4
    @unfuckers-inc On retainer. Just like the lawyer! Haha!
  • 3
    After watching 2 seasons of Suits, I can definitely agree with you
  • 6
    add a mirror clause: contractor is obliged to keep the site as bug-free and secure as the contract is impenetrable from the viewpoint of securing contractor's rights and contidions and not providing loopholes for the client to exploit

    not sure if it would be valid or even effective, but could be highly amusing
  • 2
    @paralegalseagul I fired another client (also experienced in law) over a retainer she wouldn't use and had refused to let me close out at end of year. Talk about indentured servitude!
  • 2
    The simple contract would be..
    - Should give all the requirement in written before starting
    - Any change in requirement, even a simple text rename, would cost 3x per change..

    He's lawyer but we are DEVELOPER!
  • 3
    My lawyer chargers $540 an hour. I feel I’m getting under paid!
  • 1
    Lawyers will fuck you better than porn stars could.
  • 2
    @unfuckers-inc they’ll find a common law that gives them a loophole... or drag that ticketing system to put you at a halt.

    I’ll never trust them, or companies that have a larger legal team than anything else.
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