Joined devRant on 9/8/2017
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Can someone help me write a quick Watch app?
I’m fairly new to Swift so I’m not sure how to do this. I’d like a Watch app that only has a button in the middle of the screen. If the use of taps on this button, one of four random audio files play.
I know how to put a button on the screen. But I don’t know how to play an audio file let alone a random file.
Any help would be very much appreciated.
Well, it happened!
After decades of waiting, it finally happened...
Very early on in my career, I was told that one day, one of your client will ask you to make the logo bigger.
Well, today was that day.
My client didn’t really understand just how much of a negative impact it would have on his site’s navigation by making his always obnoxiously larger ugly icon an additional 10% bigger.
He also failed to understand aspect ratio and forced me to stretch his low/res raster image without scaling it in all 2 dimensions.
He actually used the line from the infamous song “...I don’t want to tel you how to do your job by can you make the logo bigger?”
Worst Person you Interviewed?
I interview many developers at my company. Today, I interviewed someone who seemed fairly qualified. Then I spotted a large gap I his resume. When I enquirer about the gap, he disclosed that he had served prison time for pedophilia. He further disclosed that as a condition of his release, he had to be supervised when using a computer.
As we are a gov/medical company, we are not allowed to hire people with a criminal record. He begged me but I told him that it was again company policy. I felt sorry for him not finding any work and being forced to beg, but I also had a knot in my stomach over the details his crime that he elaborated on.
Anyway, he scored 0 out of 10 on my interview scale.
So, I asked him what he does in his spare time and how me keeps his development skill/knowledge up to date. He said:
“...no, I don’t study this shit in my spare time... I’m not a facking need!!!”
I stopped the interview right there. I might sware here on DV, but it my office I keep it civil & professional. So I certainly do not appreciate it when a diaper wearing, snotty nosed, junior wanker swares in my offices to merely protect his willful ignorance and shows pathetic pride instead of humility. That interview comes to an end immediately!
The pedo got a 0 out of 10, but this brat scored a -5 out of 10!!!
I have so many interview stories I could tell you...
My work just gave me a new MacBook Pro with the Touch Bar. Dear Apples, I can’t even!!!!
What a piece is shit! I can’t charge my phone, plug in my monitor or my mouse without a freakin dongle! Worse of all, I can’t feel the keys to reduce volume, I always have to look does at the Touch Bar, tap twice to reduce the volume. How inefficient!
FU Apple! FU!7
I told my husband that High Hefner died last week and he responded with:
So, there’s a job vacancy at the PlayBoy mansion?
Only I Silicon Valley...
I took this photo of the car I front of me. I what’re what job he does 😇😛7
Even though I’m new here, I’m super addicted to DevRant. I Raka every opportunity to open the app to see what’s happening.
Thanks for making me feel welcome everyone.2
Would anyone else like to see a landscape view in the DevRant app, especially when when viewing image attachment in full screen?
Trying to install macOS High Sierra. However the installation file seems to be corrupt. And it keeps rebooting halfway through the install cycle never allowing me to intervene and reset and revert to my previous iOS. Thanks Apple FML11
You may know about my dumb CTO, if not, read here: https://devrant.io/rants/854361/...
Anyway, the dumbass emailed me this weekend asking “what is big data?”
So I replied: “...it’s when you use a large font in your code...”
He thanked me. I bet he will be at some presentation somewhere and will reference using large fonts in an IDE!!!10
Have you ever looked at code you had written years or even decades ago and asked yourself either:
1) How this this even work?
2) What the hell does this do?
3) or, I can’t believe I wrote that. (In horror or serendipitously)5
For the record, Equifax didn't *lose* everybody's personal data. They just made unintentional backups of it, your Honor.2
My dumb CEO just hired an even dumber CTO. The new CTO asked me the following questions...
1. What is GitHub?
2. What is JSON?
3. What’s an array?
4. What is Get and what is Post?
5. When an iPhone is offline, can it call an API on our server to tell us it’s offline?
6. I know you’ve spent 11 month the writing this backend in PHP but can you change it to Java now?
Dumb CTO: Because it’s better.
Dumb CTO: because it is.
7. I know you’ve started to rewrite this codebase I Java but can you convert it to Node.JS now?
Dumb CTO: Because Facebook uses it.
8. What is MySQL? Why aren’t you using a database instead?
9. What does NULL mean?
Somehow, I doubt that asshole is remotely qualified for the job.
Fakin shyt for brains.183
My boss asked us all to do a 360 review of
Our colleagues. I HATE ratting on my colleagues, even though someone of them are rubbish programmers. He’s the boss, if he doesn’t know how to tell who the bad eggs are, why should I help? It’s not like it get paired for for helping him or get any shares if the company does well.
I won’t rat of my colleagues.1
On iOS 11, Apple is no longer allowing you to open apps that are 32 bit. Apple should have given all the developers with 32-bit apps free access to the developer program rather than forcing them to pay a $99 fee to publish a 64-bit version of their app.
This would’ve made better business sense for them as publishers would have had an opportunity to create new apps and see more revenue coming in from upgraded apps. Ultimately more money for Apple. Not sure what dumb fool at Apple HQ thought this was a good idea.6
We were in the process of signing up an enterprise company. We sent them a spreadsheet requesting a list of all of their staff so that we can create user accounts for all of them. That dumb shit at the company printed out the spreadsheet and then filled out the printouts using her pen and then took a photograph of it and emailed it back to us.3
Other than the obligatory “Hello World”, what was the first program you had ever written, Personally and also Professionally?
PERSONALLY: Fibonacci Calculator.
PROFESSIONALLY: Menu System.8
1. Do you consider yourself a DEVELOPER or a PROGRAMMER?
2. How do you personally define each?18
People, what a bunch of bastards, especially the non-technical “educated” ones. We call them “mundanes” in our office.
Our rookie sysadmin frack up our web server today. He wanted to make a single directory and all its content accessible but instead, he used this command...
sudi chmod 644 /.6
Rookie develops who think they are so
much more knowledgeable thank you, yet don’t stop asking the simplest of questions, preventing you from doing your work.3