Dear clients.

Putting your support subject or content either in uppercase letters or telling US that your matter/ticket has 'the utmost priority' doesn't mean anything to us. You'll just have to keep in line.

WE decide the priorities. Also, calling us when we haven't looked into your very fucking high priority ticket yet for about 5 FUCKING minutes is NOT going to help YOU.

- One of the Linux Support Engineers.

isnt this like your first day?

@BindView Third one haha, why?

how the hell do they manage to piss you off in 3 days lol

@BindView Not me in this case but a fellow Linux engineer :P

Haha welcome to the support world. Around here our clients are network MANAGERS who call for everything even if it's not within our support scope.

Easy. Friendly clients move up the queue, unfriendly, pushing bastards can enjoy the bottom. We don't even care if their whole network is about to collapse, if they behave like fucktards, they get serviced like fucktards.

See one client:
Constantly missing his bills, never answers mails informing him of needed actions. Is the first in line when his shit stops working because of said needed actions and then is rude. At some point I started answering with the same attitude as himself. I think he might have noticed, because he absolutely got his ass whooped. I also might have forgotten a mail or two after that incident. Since then he started being friendly and pays his bills.
Not implying that you should start a war with your customers, but sometimes some of them has to be made clear that they're not the only ones with a ticket open and should treat us as humans too. They might realize that more if they need you to be able to do whatever they do for a living.

Also we introduced the "RED DOT" a while ago. Basically a small red dot you can stick on folders. Every customer has a folder. The customers with a red dot are the ones we want to get rid off. Most of the time we just stop extending the contract. You should see the face of some when they realize that they aren't the only ones who can quit a contract (ಠ_ಠ)┌∩┐

@Kimmax I like you and the way you think. 😂

Sadly, after a few years in the business, my and many other collegues react and respond the same way...Tthe customers who yell the loudest, are the most obnoxious, and the most hated also gets help the fastest.

Welcome to the tech support world. Wait for the lazy 'programmer' saying that's it's the product's that you are supporting fault even though you make numerous examples and state multiple reason as why is not and how the have to fix it
Did I forgot the customers that are not technical and pretend to be so they just end up making stuff and end ends being up more painful to actually fix stuff ?
O and also remember those that are obnoxious and will always freaking panic for no good reason even though the issue is on their side