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#3 Worst thing I've seen a co-worker do?
A 20-something dev, 'A', back in the early days of twitter+facebook would post all his extracurricular activities (drinking, partying, normal young-buck stuff). The dev mgr, 'J', at the time took offense because he felt 'A' was making the company look bad, so 'A' had a target on his back. Nothing 'A' did was good enough and, for example, 'J' had the source control czars review 'A's code to 'review' (aka = find anything wrong). Not sorting the 'using' statements, and extra line after the closing }, petty things like that. For those curious, orders followed+carried out by+led by 'T' in my previous rant.
As time went on and 'T' finding more and more 'wrong' with A's code, 'J' put A on disciplinary probation. 'A' had 90 days to turn himself around, or else.
A bright spot was 'A' was working on a Delphi -> C# conversion, so a lot of the code would be green-field development and by simply following the "standards", 'A' would be fine...so he thought.
About 2 weeks into the probation, 'A' was called into the J's office and berated because the conversion project was behind schedule, and if he didn't get the project back on track, 'A' wouldn't make it 30 days. I sat behind 'A' and he unloaded on me.
<'A' slams his phone on his desk>
Me: "Whoa...whats up?"
A: "Dude, I fucking hate this place, did you hear what they did?"
<I said no, then I think we spent an hour talking about it>
Me: "That all sucks. Don't worry about the code. Nobody cares what T thinks. Its not even your fault the project is behind, the DBAs are tasked with upgrades and it's not like anyone is waiting on you. It'll get done when it's done. Sounds like a witch hunt, what did you do? Be honest."
A: "Well, um...I kinda called out J, T, and those other assholes on facebook. I was drunk, pissed, and ...well...here we are."
Me: "Geez, what a bunch of whiney snowflakes. Keep your head down and you'll get thru it, or don't. Its not like you couldn't find another job tomorrow."
A: "This is my first job out of college and I don't want to disappoint my dad by quitting. I don't even know what I'm supposed to be doing. All J told me was to get better. What the fuk does that even mean?"
Me: "He didn't give you any goals? Crap, for someone who is a stickler for the rules, that's low, even for J."
Fast forward 2 weeks, I was attending MS TechEd and I was with another dev mgr, R.
R: "Did you hear? We had to let 'A' go today."
Me: "What the hell? Why?"
R: "He couldn't cut it, so we had to let him go."
Me: "Cut what? What did he do, specifically?"
R: "I don't know, 'A' was on probation, I guess he didn't meet the goals."
Me: "You guess? We fire a developer working on a major upgrade and you guess? What were these so-called goals?"
R: "Whoa...you're getting a little fire up. I don't know, maybe not adhering to coding standards, not meeting deadlines?"
Me: "OMG...we fire people for not forming code? Are you serious!?"
R: "Oh...yea...that does sound odd when you put it that way. I wish I'd talk to you before we left on this trip"
Me: "What?! You knew they were firing him *before* we left? How long did you know this was happening?"
R: "Honestly, for a while. 'A' really wasn't a team player."
Me: "That's dirty, the whole thing is dirty. We've done some shitty things to people, but this is low, even for J. The probation process is meant to improve, not be used as a witch hunt. I don't like that you stood around and let it happen. You know better."
R: "Yea, you're right, but doesn't change anything. J wanted to do it while most of us were at the conference in case 'A' caused a scene."
Me: "THAT MAKES IT WORSE! 'A' was blindsided and you knew it. He had no one there that could defend him or anything."
R: "Crap, crap, crap...oh crap...jeez...J had this planned all along...crap....there is nothing I can do no...its too late."
Me: "Yes there is. If 'A' comes to you for a letter of recommendation, you write one. If someone calls for reference, you give him a good one."
R: "Yea..yea...crap...I feel like shit...I need to go back to the room and lie down."
As the sun sets, it rises again. Within a couple of weeks, 'A' had another job at a local university. Within a year, he was the department manager, and now he is a vice president (last time I checked) of a college in Kansas City, MO.13 -
I’m surrounded by idiots.
I’m continually reminded of that fact, but today I found something that really drives that point home.
Gather ‘round, everybody, it’s story time!
While working on a slow query ticket, I perused the code, finding several causes, and decided to run git blame on the files to see what dummy authored the mental diarrhea currently befouling my screen. As it turns out, the entire feature was written by mister legendary Apple golden boy “Finder’s Keeper” dev himself.
To give you the full scope of this mess, let me start at the frontend and work my way backward.
He wrote a javascript method that tracks whatever row was/is under the mouse in a table and dynamically removes/adds a “.row_selected” class on it. At least the js uses events (jQuery…) instead of a `setTimeout()` so it could be worse. But still, has he never heard of :hover? The function literally does nothing else, and the `selectedRow` var he stores the element reference in isn’t used elsewhere.
This function allows the user to better see the rows in the API Calls table, for which there is a also search feature — the very thing I’m tasked with fixing.
It’s worth noting that above the search feature are two inputs for a date range, with some helpful links like “last week” and “last month” … and “All”. It’s also worth noting that this table is for displaying search results of all the API requests and their responses for a given merchant… this table is enormous.
This search field for this table queries the backend on every character the user types. There’s no debouncing, no submit event, etc., so it triggers on every keystroke. The actual request runs through a layer of abstraction to parse out and log the user-entered date range, figure out where the request came from, and to map out some column names or add additional ones. It also does some hard to follow (and amazingly not injectable) orm condition building. It’s a mess of functional ugly.
The important columns in the table this query ultimately searches are not indexed, despite it only looking for “create_order” records — the largest of twenty-some types in the table. It also uses partial text matching (again: on. every. single. keystroke.) across two varchar(255)s that only ever hold <16 chars — and of which users only ever care about one at a time. After all of this, it filters the results based on some uncommented regexes, and worst of all: instead of fetching only one page’s worth of results like you’d expect, it fetches all of them at once and then discards what isn’t included by the paginator. So not only is this a guaranteed full table scan with partial text matching for every query (over millions to hundreds of millions of records), it’s that same full table scan for every single keystroke while the user types, and all but 25 records (user-selectable) get discarded — and then requeried when the user looks at the next page of results.
What the bloody fucking hell? I’d swear this idiot is an intern, but his code does (amazingly) actually work.
No wonder this search field nearly crashed one of the servers when someone actually tried using it.
Asdfajsdfk.21 -
We passed a milestone: 250,000 phpunit testcases.
If it weren't for a heavily parallelized build pipeline which splits it out over 20 servers, it would take about 7.5 hours to complete.
Not hating on PHP, and without tests it would truly be hell...
But still, fucking hell, we outgrew PHP.
Not having a solid type system just means you either accept more bugs, or write thousands of unit tests to guard all the foundational cracks in the system.
On the bright side, I get a coffee break after every commit 😄22 -
I fucking hate it when I'm working and people come and ask 'What are you doing ?' .. Even if they mean well ..
I'd be happy to show them and explain the hell out about finished product though .. !1 -
expect([
row[‘blah’][0][1],
row[‘blah’][1][1],
row[’blah’][2][1],
row[‘blah’][3][1],
row[‘blah’][4][1],
]).to contain_exactly(
a.name(user), # “John doe”
c.name(user), # “John doe”
e.name(user), # “John doe”
b.name(user), # “John doe”
d.name(user), # “John doe”
)
(Note: The comments are mine.)
See the problem? No, not the ugly code (which is actually worse than what i posted here).
It’s using the same ridiculous getter (if you can call it that) that pulls a name out of the passed user object, and then expecting each row to have that name, in order. Not that order matters when they’re all the same.
Upon inspection, all objects created by the spec have the exact same name, so the above test passes (as long as there are 5 rows). It passes, but totally not because it should: those aren’t the objects that are actually in the table. All of the specs — all 22 of them — only check for that shared name on various rows, and no other data. And it’s not like this is the only issue, either.
Fuck me these are bad.
And this guy is a senior dev earning significantly more than me. Jesus what the fuck Christ.19 -
I fucking want to skin alive my engineering senior director and VP.
Fucking piece of shit people. Looking at their faces from behind the screen, I can sense them stink doneky balls.
They have made my life hell.
The entire tech architecture is absolute shit in nature and engineers cannot even build a single blue colour button without creating a major fuss about it.
Every single aspect of product is built kept in my only the engineer persona. Everyone else can go and suck a racoon's dick.
And they have no concept of tech debt. They just keep building and building stuff. And then build some more.
Entire engineering org is in rush to ship shit at the end of sprint and if they don't then VP and Director are pissed. So to keep those two half witted donkeys happy, these people ship garbage. And all they comment is "cool, very cool".
And hence, entire fucking product is built because it's cool irrespective of whether it solves a problem or not.
A single user role authorisation or authentication is so fucking complex that it would take an eternity for even a developer to figure what's happening.
Fucking toxic human wastes.
There's a company wide mandate to use a certain tech stack, design guidelines, and a vision that all teams have to align. But these faggots are going in opposite direction to do what they feel like and forcing everyone else to ignore all other engagements or alignments with other teams.
These two people should be skinned alive in town square during noon and then left there until they dehydrate entirely. Fucking baboons.
I am so fucking pissed with such mindset.10 -
God damn fucking Windows bullshit.
Why is the fuck does Microsoft HATE its users?
Latest updates, and no fuck Windows 11, completely BREAKS all of my WSL environments.
Home directories are gone, or the environments are corrupt and won't even run.
99% of the issues these dense shit-fucks cause are because they RaNdOmLy reboot for their dumbass updates instead of scheduling them with the end user. During these rebots, do you thing they wait for everything to shut down?
HELL NO!
They just shut that shit down like they fucking own it. Editors? Gone. Browsers? Gone. WSL Consoles? Gone. Docker containers? Gone. IEdge? Hey, we have great news, we made IE your default browser again! BTW, your upgrade to Windows 11 is free until we force you to upgrade!
I'm so fed up with it.....so fucking tired of it...
The only reason why I even use WSL these days is to ssh into my Linux devices or run some quick dev tests in containers. Why not use PuTTY for SSH? Because it fucking SUCKS that's why.
I'm feeling so many emotions right now over bullshit that shouldn't even be happening. I'm literally at the point that I'm just going to install Linux on this device and just create a Windows VM on one of my hosts so I can still do "work" things that involve leadership.19 -
It fucking infuriates me when the docs mention to create a certain config file "xyz.json" but completely leave it to your imagination where the hell this fucking file should be placed!
Come on, I'm not getting paid for detective work, fucking imbeciles.4 -
I SENT YOU THE EXACT SIGNUP URL ON NETLIFY
I TOLD YOU STEP BY STEP WHAT WOULD HAPPEN, AND HOW I CAN TRANSFER THE SITE TO YOU
AND NOW YOU COME TO ME COMPLAINING YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND??!?!?!?!
fucking toxic clients I swear, never again
this is what I get for doing something for free for an acquaintances friend
if you can't handle ownership of your own website, maybe get the hell out of the internet
🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡10 -
A brief, and biased opinion of what love is in the dev world:
Love is my employees bringing me something to eat when they know I stay back so that they can all go out do whatever they can do.
Love is my CMS admin getting his ass up and walking all the way to my office when the director walks in to say some STUPID FUCKING SHIT to me that he(CMS Admin) knows would have me 2 fucking seconds away from getting out of my chair and drop kicking the fuck out of him.
Love is the rest of my employees getting up to follow along in case(certainly) one dude is not able to hold me down.
Love is them knowing that I know that their mere presence there will make me chill the fuck out and not choke the fucking director
Love is the CMS Admin proof reading every email I send to a bitch that was trying to get smart, to make sure that I was not being agressive.
Love is said CMS Admin bringing me coffee or a coke congratulating me on listening to him about X email not being aggressive (there is no passive in my vocabulary, just balls out "isn't this your fucking job" aggressive)
Love is my lead developer showing to work after medical treatment fucked up as all hell because he knows that if he is not there I will do a billion things myself in order to give him some rest.
Love is taking my CMS admin and lead dev out to eat when a major stakeholder shits on something I damn well know it took them a while to finish. Love is also letting me open up to said stakeholder to tell them how much of a fucktard they are, sometimes they let me loose, and I appreciate that.
Love is every small person in the company approaching you to tell you of their issues, becuase they care more about the productivity they give to their users, rather than the bullshit numbers their managers care about.
Love is the staff of other places taking care of you because you are not a VP dickhead that treats them like shit.
Love is the HR reps sending you personal e-mails asking you for help because their shitbag of a boss does not count for help and leaves them in the blank with shit software, for which said HR go above and beyond for you later on even though said shitbag manager said no.
Love is your team getting angry and responding respectfully at people when they talk shit about their manager on their emails (manager being me)
Love is your employees closing your door for you when they know you are overwhelmed and you need a quick second to pull yourself up.
Love is not wanting to leave this miserable place because you know some dickweed will be left in charge of the people that care for you, trust you, work for you regardless of the date, and confide in you.
They got me locked in, this shitty institution, for now. Until I find a way to bring my entire team with me.8 -
Post after a long long time...
Wanted to reply to so many comments and mentions, rant about a bunch of topics, do a face reveal after I went for a vacation with family and got some pictures, update y'all on my job hunt, but was busy like hell.
Anyway, time for a story.
After my rejection with Meta and Booking, I started preparing like crazy and my interviews started going well. Refined my LinkedIn further and recruiters started reaching out as well.
Over time, with efforts and feedback, I was able to build a good pipeline.
One of my dream companies reached out to me and I got hired in just 1 round and all others were merely a formality. I was euphoric, but at the same time didn't get over excited as this seemed fishy.
They made a very good monetary offer and I didn't talk to my manager yet regarding resignation. They are pushing me for an early joining.
Read a bunch of Glassdoor reviews and also spoke to a friend who just recently quit that organisation.
He confirmed that the company has 3 months of notice, has sandwich leave policy, and some other XLT political mess.
I decided to decline the offer tomorrow.
Day saved? Not yet.
Because of this I slacked off work a lot. I am super screwed with work items pending because I thought I'd quit.
My boss resinged and new one isn't that supportive yet. He is trying to change everything overnight. Typical.
I ended up performing poorly in other companies because I was confident I'll pick this offer and didn't prepare for upcoming good companies.
Moreover, we have our offices opening up from April and I might be asked to relocate to another city which does not have a team but just because it is on paper, they might force me to be in office 50% of the time.
And what's worse is, my relationship with tech is deteriorating and they are putting the entire product team in bad light.
I have a planned weekend trip coming up, so I won't be able to prepare for interviews or work on case studies so that shit will pile up more.
I am sooooo fucking screwed. Life was stable and then all of a sudden too 180° flip.
I am hysterical right now.17 -
So I just found out that my colleague who I often have to work with does not use a debugger to troubleshoot any bugs at all. Actually, he does not even run or test his code locally either with prints or something similar. He just commits java code directly on bitbucket, no source control, without making sure it compiles and then he runs a CI provided by devops that takes 4 freaking hours to run because he bloated that shit up somehow.
I suggested politely to help him find a more efficient approach and to use my hardware setups for speeding up his work because I assume it must be pretty painful to work with, but he just refused.
That and those "seniors" with 10 years Linux development XP in the embedded field who don't know basic commands like ls, cat and touch and code in notepad.
Fucking me, who the hell am I working with and can someone please end me?6 -
there is another team in our company that has its site in the US. we haven't been working with them for very long, but we do have some common topics on which we work loosely together and exchange some information from time to time. i have met the guys only once in person when they visited Germany.
PM asked one of the devs of this team if he could move to another time zone, so it would be easier for us in Europe to arrange meetings with him.
move to another timezone. within the US. to the other side of the country where there's noone he knows. also, no site of ours.
only so it's easier for PM to arrange fucking meetings with him.
can you believe that? i cringed so hard when PM told me about that. (of course the guy refused, shocked pikachu)
and when he thought aloud that maybe he should ask the guy to move to Germany, i told him that the colleague wouldn't do that and that this was a terrible idea. he was really surprised and asked "hmm, you think?"
dafuq, hell yeah i think?!3 -
I can't breathe good air anymore. Water is being wasted. Fossil fuels are being wasted. Unnecessarily high number of vehicles on roads and most them have fucking one person sitting in them. They take out a fucking vehicle for fucking 200m. People throw trash everywhere without any regard for cleanliness. Prices are going up. Inefficient shit pieces exist in the market and people buy that shit. The world is going to hell. I hope I die soon enough to not know that is has.26
-
My employer doesn't allow us to use Linux; I have to use MacOS because "Windows is sooooo bad".
Fucking hell I'd choose Windows every day if the year over this garbage fucking OS12 -
Hey Root, remember that super high-priority ticket that we ignored for five months before demanding you rewrite it a specific way in one day?
Yeah, the new approach we made you use broke the expected usecases, and now the page is completely useless to the support team and they're freaking out. Drop everything you're doing and go fix it! Code-complete for this release is tonight! -- This right after "impacting our business flow" while being collapsed on the fucking floor.
Jesus FUCKING christ, what the fuck is wrong with these people?
If I dropped the ball on a high-priority ticket for two weeks, I'd get fired, let alone for five fucking months.
If I was a manager and demanded a one-day rewrite I can only imagine the amount of chewing out I'd receive, especially on something high-priority.
And let's not forget product ownership: imagine if I screwed up feature planning for someone so badly I made them break a support tool in production. I'd never hear the end of it.
Fucking double standards.
And while I'm at it. Some of the code I've seen in this codebase is awful. Uncommented spaghetti, or an unreadable mess with single-letter variables, super-tightly coupled modules so updates are nearly impossible, typos in freaking constants added across sixty+ files, obviously-incorrect comments, ... . I'll have to start posting snippets to show them off. But could I get away with any of it? ha. Hell no. My code must be absolutely perfect. I hear about any and every flaw, doesn't matter how minor, and nothing can go out until everything is just so.
Hell, I even hear about flaws in other peoples' code during my code reviews. Why? Because I should have fixed it, that's why. But if I do, I get yelled at for "muddying the waters."
Just. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST.
It's like playing a shell game where no matter which shell I pick (or point to their goddamn sleeve where they're clearly hiding it), I get insulted for being so consistently useless, and god damn, how can I never find the fucking pea or follow the damned rules? I'm so terrible and this is why "nobody trusts me." Fuck you.
I'll tell you why I can't find your damned pea: IT'S RATTLING INSIDE YOUR FUCKING HEADS, you ASSHOLE FUCKING IMBECILES.
That's right: one pea among the lot of them.
goddamn I am fucking pissed off.8 -
Dear Boss
Would you.
Fucking.
PLEASE.
Stop.
Moving.
The Standup.
Time.
You've fucked around with the meeting time eight times since the end of Jan. Figure your schedule out, pick a time for our daily shit, and stick to it dude. PLEASE.
I'm a family man and you're making my mornings absolute hell to plan for.
Signed,
me.5 -
Look, I'm not even mad that your dataset is the spaghettiest of all spaghetti, but why do you have ten different jupyter notebook files lying around?
I mean, I'm not implying that a monkey has more brain in his armpit than you have in your entire body, but like, you call this a dataset while all over seen so far is half-processed garbage. You could've just dipped your pc in sewage and the results would still be cleaner than this.
Luckily, your paper is half decent so what the hell, let's see if I can fish anything useful out of this. But I swear to god if I come across another static path in this... And here we go! Another static path! Ladies and gentlemen, I propose we get this guy's phd back until he learns to fucking do a decent code.
(It's actually a massively complicated project, so it kinda makes sense to be this big of a mess. But still!)10 -
you fucking idiots
why do you always base your library components on some dumbass clown fixed width / height system?
everything should be flex by default, anything else is absolute amateur clown town pile of dumbass horseshit...
...i'll brawl and take down anyone who says otherwise
you waste my time, you waste other's time, when everyone has to go hunting around for your stupid library's unorthodox way of styling
thanks again for wasting and making my evening a living hell7 -
!dev
This may be a petty rant, but It's been grinding my gears for a few months now... I fucking hate ads, it's starting to be incredibly ridiculous. You start a video... 2 ads... you watch for 2 minutes, another 2 ads (and no, adblock isn't a solution, that only works on PC, not devices)?!!! You start an App... ads, you listen to music... ads... you go to google... ads, you click a website... ads... you look out of your window... ads... you walk down the street... ads... ads.. ads...
Seriously, what the fuck have we done?!! As a society we fucked up so badly... Look, no matter how many times you offer me an ad for a furniture, I'm not going to buy a fucking furniture on just any random day. You are completely wasting my already limited time... If you don't have any ads to show me, then don't show me ads, fuck you, you fucking piece of shit software... How is it that it used to be enough to click away one static, non-intrusive ad, but now 6-8 15-20 second ads, popups and intrusive, mid-content ads are the norm?! And then a piece of shit like MoviePass DARES, FUCKING DARES, To work on some sort of camera-enabled check that you actually LOOK at the ads?!!!! ARE YOU FUCKING SHITTING ME?! WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE YOU RETARDED PIECE OF BLACK MIRROR SHIT, FUCK OFF WITH THIS BRAINWASHING BULLSHIT, I'M ALLERGIC TO IT, FUCK ALL OF THIS.
I fucking promise that any software I'll make will be either free and open source, or paid only by alternative means, no ads, not ever. I will never fucking add to this retarded bullshit. Never fucking ever will I lower myself on a level where I need to actively waste the time and psyche of thousands or millions of people to get money. Fucking hell.... As if the world doesn't suck enough already, we treat humans as cattle, and It's pissing me off... In the past I used to just delete any app that annoyed me with ads, but what the fuck do I do about youtube since it's the de-facto content source on the internet? And worse, my friends and family watch youtube.. even if I avoid it that doesn't mean the problem is solved... There needs to be an alternative, and paying subscriptions for every single fucking service on the web isn't a solution. Even worse with the current economy... I'd rather eat real food, than buy shit like premium on ShitTube, Fuckify, all the random news website I might read and every app or game I start once every two months... Shit like ad-less premium accounts aren't giving me an alternative, just a way to shoot myself in the foot longterm...
Godbless everyone that releases open source software, apps, tools, websites and such. I hope to god decentralized alternatives to youtube need to happen and not in the web3 way, because that's also retarded...
Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Shit, Fuck Shit, Piss, Cocksucker, Motherfucker, Retards, Fucking absolutely disgusting pieces of shit... ... alright, I got it out of my system, but It's gonna be right back the next time YouTube forces me to look at 20 seconds of something I already skipped 48 times today...57 -
i understand some developers like to write wrapper functions to handle tedious things, I even understand how to write dynamic SQL queries, but for the love of fucking god and sanity, NEVER FUCKING DO THIS!!!!
Yes its PHP, but its not even bad PHP, its a fucking abomination from hell of PHP.
33 -
Today was "one of those days".
So, the state machines were keep on failing. I said fuck it and wrote a simpler loop thing.
Even that failed.
And it took me hours to figure out what was wrong. But I did. Because THERE WAS VIRTUALLY NO FUCKING DOCCO ON THIS SHIT, ANYWHERE ON THE FUCKING ENTIRETY OF THE INTERNET. Hell, I even translated a few pages from Mandarin. Which is ridiculous since I'm working with standard robotic shit. Like, wtf even?
Anywho, I also had a heart attack because the port was not responding. I ran across the building to find the guy who fortunately had another port controller. That didn't work either. Then by the God-given cure of "Turning it off and on again " (it, in this case, being the computers) it worked!
Then I broke the window blinds. It's not coming down anymore.
Like, yeah, thanks, I'll take a weekend and half.10 -
I am Done! I am extremely burnt out and unhappy with my work. I have been doing this professionally for over 5 years now and much longer than that unprofessionally.
This new company I joined finally gave me the salary I always dreamt of but now I am extremely unhappy and depressed and anxious all the time. And I don't like the work I am doing. I don't like the team. I hate being isolated at home for over 2 years, working from home. I had a mental breakdown in the middle of the meeting the other day. And after that, I said. that's it. I am done. So, I gave the resignation letter. I don't know what I am gonna do. But I sure as hell can't do this shit any longer. But now, the fucking hr is making it even more difficult for me by not letting me leave without serving the notice period. I told her I am on fucking medication and I am having severe mental health issues. Now, she wants to see the medical certificate. Or I have to pay two months' salary. WTF? If I had that kind of money lying around, I wouldn't have slaved myself away at your shitty company, would I?
I went to my psychiatrist whom I have been seeing consulting for the last couple of years now. I asked for a medical certificate and he thinks it'll hamper my future career. So, he said I should get a certificate from a general physician. So, that's the world we live in then? You can't even speak the truth? And the way HR is behaving over the mail makes me feel like a total slave. I mean I am not at all fit for work these days, and it feels like, if she had her way, she would tie me down to a chair and ask me to push out code. what the fucking fuck. This is some fucked up industry and I think I am finally done with software development. But now, I don't have any idea what I am gonna do with my life or how am I gonna earn money. I am so burnt out and anxious that even the thought of working again gives me panic attacks. even working from home. What the fuck do I do?8 -
Just installed linux (Ubuntu 16.04.3 LTS x64) because windows update was being a cunt, instantly, it all fell into place and I got it fully running with minecraft (using generic driver, but it actually works pretty well, don't worry I will get the proper one tomorrow) and a desktop icon for it within two hours compare to windows (update) taking 4 days to do barely any updates, not accepting java or graphics drivers, which it requires because fuck opengl with the default drivers.
Fuck windows. Hooray for linux!
Now back to programming...
Thanks for putting up with me but I just need to vent because I felt like I couldn't program (and I didn't) because of FUCKING DOOLALY WINDOWS 8!
Btw thanks to the local charity shop for introducing me to (SUSE) linux when I was like 11, giving me a hope in hell of using linux. I now have around 11 bootable linux disks and 1 bootable flash.3 -
I fucking hate Reddit
Because I don’t interact with other peoples post too much but do so when the post is mine, I’m considered spammer.
The 90/10 rule is ridiculous.
This morning I got banned from r/internetisbeautiful because of this stupid rule.
Not because my website is not beautiful, hell, it got thousands upvotes. But because I used the same domain for different unrelated projects, same way you can have different GitHub pages under one user.
Fuck this, fuck18 -
These fucking imbecile devs left me a bunch of bugs in a 150k LOC legacy hell...
Too bad it took some 8 months for them to finally surface in prod. God damned...
Technically, this whole codebase is one giant abyss filled to the brim with bugs.7 -
What the hell is the point of using typescript if you are going to put any everywhere? Fucking useless.3
-
I'm forced by my job to use this fucking unusable piece of horse shit also know as a Windows operating system.
And it's not only that I have experienced every fucking corner case bug that is possible to occur in our universe.
Not only that that for last 2 years I seen more blue screen than blue sky.
Not only that forced updates fucked my schedules so many times that now I'm really *afraid* to turn off my computer off because I have zero guarantee that I will be able to restart it in a reasonable amount of time.
No, neither of those broke me.
The thing that kills me everyday is, piece by piece ...
WHY THE FUCK THERE IS NO SINGLE, USEABLE, SANE TERMINAL EMULATOR ON WINDOWS
I JUST WANT TO TYPE SOME COMMANDS, COPY/PASTE TEXT AND SCROLL
IS IT TO MUCH ?????
FUCK CMD
FUCK POWERSHELL
FUCK WSL
FUCK ALL THOSE WANKY THIRD-PARTY EMULATORS
FUCK EVERY-COMMAND-LINE-REALATED THING ON WINDOWS
FUCKING USLESS SHIT
CANT EVEN DO SOME SSH COPY/PASTE SHIT
WITHOUT SOME WEIRD CHARACTERS POPING OUT EVERYWHERE.
AND FUCK THAT EVERY ONE OF THOSE MUST HAVE TOTTALY DIFFERENT SET OF KEY SHORTCUTS
AND THAT FUCKING BELL
WHY WOULD YOU EVEN PUT A FUCKING BELL SOUND AS DEFAULT SETTING ??
GO TO HELL MICROSOFT
I WANT MY LINUX BACK8 -
I’ve got the cold from hell and my last years performance review to write.
These things are fucking terrible and every time I read a cheesy corporate competency that I have to prove, I feel slightly sick.
Just got to find a way of saying ‘I spent the last year doing just enough not to get fired’ and make it sound like I’ve reinvented the wheel.
Think I might be looking for a new job soon.1 -
University, first Java practical lesson.
I'm sitting near this guy, clearly hyped up because he managed to install his first linux distro earlier.
After 5 minutes he asks me how to do the task the Professor assigned that morning.
I'm playing dumbass in my head, thinking stuff like "oh big boy installed ubuntu but can't declare a fucking Rectangle class in java lol" (what a dickhead).
I helped him, and then proposed to go out for a quick smoke.
Turns out we're very similar, hyped as hell with linux (like I was at the time), with same CS interests. Still texting sometimes. -
I am sitting on a fucking vibrator!!
PoV: Writing my code, minding my own business, listening to lofigirl.. private Schema<?> asSc
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pe) {
How the hell am I supposed to concentrate when my neighbours are trying to make me cum with a drill.
Swear the God, my ass is on some serious vibro.10 -
Who in the hell has time to upgrade JavaScript frameworks? Nobody! Take as an example, Strapi.js. I have a version running that I installed EXACTLY ONE YEAR AGO. Already it's gone up one major version, and there's three different migration guides between minor releases! And each migration between versions has three different portions that break into even smaller portions! DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO FIX MY PROJECT EVERY 3 MONTHS BECAUSE YOU MORONS CAN'T BUILD A BACKWARDS COMPATIBLE PRODUCT?! AND IT'S RIDDLED WITH SECURITY ISSUES! FUCK YOU AND YOUR FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT "CONTENT MANAGEMENT SYSTEM"!!!1 THIS IS WHY I USE LIGHTWEIGHT FRAMEWORKS AND NOT FULL BLOWN SYSTEMS!
Good thing it's only for my personal website so I couldn't care less.5 -
Holy retarded internet company. The fiber cable that comes from the power pole lost its connection to the building I live in. So the fiber was laying on the ground in the parking lot. The upside is it is still working. The problem is people are going to run over the fiber and break it. So I sent an email to the ISP on Thursday. They didn't create a ticket all day on Friday. By the time I got home they were not open. I called their tech support number and pressed 0 until I got a real person. I explained they need to fix this soon or it will get broken. They said "I understand" and then proceeded to create a ticket for fucking wednesday next week! I told them it will damaged by then. They said "I understand". Then I get a text saying they will do this wednesday. No you stupid fuckers, you do not understand!
Queue the McGuiver music:
I got out some steel wire I use to fix stupid shit like this. I made a hook to connect the steel cable holding the fiber. This hook will go around some exposed electrical conduit. Then I got a board to lift it up high (no ladder and 5 inches thick of ice on ground). I cannot balance wire hook on board and get it to slip down. So I got a steel pole I have and attached another hook with electrical tape. As I passed the hook over the conduit I used other pole to grab bottom of hook and pull it down to keep a hold of the conduit. Now the fiber is up in the air again above the parking lot. I hope this stupid hack works until wednesday. My right arm hurts like hell cause the strain of holding the fiber taut while I pulled the hook down. It strained my right hand.
Worst customer service on the planet with Century Stink. They fucking make it harder than hell to get help and it seems they take almost a week to fix shit.4 -
I seriously cannot stress how important it is to build good reliable tests. Especially regression testing.
I am crying inside over the amount of time I've lost in my integration hell.
Seriously stupid shit that should have been tested but never did because I was too fucking lazy. Don't be me. Don't put yourself in the hell I'm in. Be better.1 -
[CMS Of Doom™]
Ah, yes, their built-in bullshit newsletter module just sent the n-th user n emails. Wonderful considering n=368.
The culprit? Better don't ask...
OK, anyway: So the mailer is running as a CRONjob, but nah, not as a console script call but by a public HTTP GET URL call, fucking obviously (it's the CMS Of Doom for a reason).
So these fucking imbeciles "implemented" an ob_start() callback where HTML links are - for whatever fucking reason - modified by some regex (obviously everybody knows parsing HTML by Regex is trivial). In this case the link was somehow modified to recall the mailer Cronjob...
This must have upset the pngoing mailing process thus spamming mails. Whyyyy
And I've thought I've seen it all after 6 months in this legacy hell...
This is why you don't run a company consisting of only beginners in PHP (in cluding their "CEO")! -
Working with the Android SDK after about a decade of mostly avoiding ever having to do so directly...and fucking hell, nothing has changed.
It's still obtuse as fuck, you constantly have to provide contexts to operations which can't need them (there's only one fucking keyboard to close), and whilst they have added some new stuff which helps like Material, the APIs are just as mental, the setup just as elaborate and manual - and they don't seem to have deprecated anything along the way, so fifteen years of random software design decisions cohabit awkwardly together like the Bucket family.
I don't really mind Java, it's just long-winded C - but boy has it found its niche here. Your code is more boilerplate than not until you've written more than you'll mostly ever need to for an app.
At this point I'm just laughing when I come across another Stack Overflow solution for a trivial operation that involves writing an entire class. I would try Kotlin but this isn't a new project, and I'm not pissing another ingredient into this hot mess.
Alright, Android Studio is an improvement on Eclipse, but that's not really saying much.3 -
our government's work documentation is digital now. 2 hours to convince a facial recognition app that i have a face just so i can start my job. fucking hell7
-
What the hell is WRONG with Windows 10. Why does it need so much storage space? I get to only use 219+38.6+13.8 GiB and Windows gets to use 564 GiB of data to piggyback on data and storage space to push nonsense updates to user who do not want them. Use your own fucking servers, MS. I wish this fucking OS burns in hell.
10 -
Def not dev oriented.
I am a huge fan of trading card games. It started with Yu Gi Oh, moved on to Magic, even tried, LoTR when it was a thing, tried algo Star Wars the original CCG (loved it), Duel Masters (when it was still in the U.S) Pokemon (of fucking course) and other more uncommon ones like Cardfight Vanguard, tried latino only games (Mitos y leyendas, Myths & Legends, this one is king on my list) and Flesh & Blood. But as a mexican kid, I was always a fan of fucking dragon ball, like most mexican kids.
SO I bought some cards from the newest game expansion. the owner of the TCG/anime store told me that if I was willing to play that I should hang out on tuesdays.
So, learning the rules of the game, and wanting to play with other people, I went there on a tuesday.
The MTG people were there fighting amongst themselves for some reason. the Pokemon people were there also, just opening packs without playing. A rather large table was there with a bunch of people playing a game that I did not recognize. And then there was me. I was chilling on my phone thinking that the DB dudes would show up eventually. nothing, so I just sat there waiting.
Suddenly a dude comes to the large table and starts pairing people for a "tournament" and once they are all sited he notices that 1 is missing, he walks up to me holding a store app and asks me "sorry bro, are you here to play with us by any chance?" to which I say "I do not think so, I came here for DB but I don't know what you guys are playing"
The dude looks down on his app, somehow actually sad and says "man I do play DB, but I don't think I have my cards with me, maybe, let me see" and he goes on to see if he brought something.
This was green flag n 1. the dude wanted to just play something with someone. And was doing something to not LEAVE someone behind. then quick as hell another says "well, why don't we give him a deck and he can play with us! we can teach him!" and I say "well what are you lads playing?" and he says "digimon man you like the anime? a new release came about! it's sick man it would be awesome if you play!"
Second green flag, another member of that community was happy for the idea of increasing the membership and actively did something to increase the population.
So, I hanged out with them. Close knit group, all friends from a long time, but willing to take an unfamiliar (and rather handsome) face with them.
My face when (MFW) the DB dudes where not there, so the digimon group adopted me.
I know have over.....2000 cards, most of them were gifted to me by them after they saw my chops and tough me how to play, by graciously lending me their decks.
This my lads, is what humanity is about. We got close fast, it has been 2 weeks of just chilling with them at the game lounge, just nice people, all of them really. Not a single angry moment or anything, you pull a crazy combo on them and they legit sheeeeeeeesh and applaud them, they don't care about loosing, they just want to have a good time, and this, this is a good crowd to be at.
Strive to make people feel welcomed. Being nice to others, taking a chance on people you deem to be ok, is fine really. It is rather cool. Anyone can be a salty asshole, but it takes a real king to be nice to others just for the sake of having a good time.
These dudes, they are gold. And I finally have something to take my mind away from work and other things that increase my anxiety and stress. I would much rather be there shooting the shit with the lads and playing games than at home, drinking the night away to relieve stress.
Kings5 -
IT department of client still doesn't get its shit together. Previously, I've ranted that they insist I access their GitLab through a fucking RDP.
Me: requests an account to their Confluence space
Them: give me a Confluence account. Naturally, Confluence requests that I confirm my email. That needs to be confirmed in the inbox of my.name@theircompany.com. Mail servers hosted by Azure, using Outlook.
Me: ok, let's configure my Outlook, 2FA as they configured to demand it from me... install MS's authenticator app, ok so far so good... Now I'm ready to login and find that email from Confluence and... ERROR 500 INVALID LICENSE
Fucking hell. You just love your siloes so much you actually make it impossible to access it and feel good about my own good will. -
So this might be a very long post , but i am sure most of you can relate to it .
So , the year end . Time of joy and appraisals right?You have slogged your ass off the entire year and are expecting amazing ratings.Then boom , your piece of shit sadist manager starts of his review by saying 'there are worrysome things to discuss' after not saying shit for the entire year . I am pretty new to corporate , in fact 1 year old , still managed to handle devops for a team of 130+ , majority of whom have no work apart from playing a blame game and indulging in cheap politics. I mean , bro , I am literally your son's age , i dont see the point in playing this cheap shit with me.On top of that this sadist and borderline piece of shit manager has the audacity to say that I did not raise any blockers , while I have CCed him in every fucking mail possible.How big of an a****** can you be bro?
I counter his points for 40 45 mins straight ,leaving him stuck without words for solid 10 to 15 seconds many times during the 'review meet'. This guy is in the same place working on the same shit code , which 90% of this community can't even think of. Every thing is bloody manual and apparently ' I should have tried to streamline the entire f**** process' . Cool bro , why not open a startup while I am at it ?
Then this piece of poop gives me a rating which is just above the inconsistent performer bracket :) .
I just dont get the points what do these people get by giving shit ratings and not even having valid points to back up their fuck all arguments.This guy , throughout the duration of the call did not say 1 (bloody 1 ) good thing about my efforts. Past context is majority of the smart people who were literally running their pods single handedly , were under him and were fed up with not getting hikes and appraisals.Apart from me ,everyone resigned and left with hikes as high as 50% (LOL right).
But I have a year of experience and its really difficult to perform well in 4 rounds of bs compititive coding rounds, after which I get the generic ' oh you did well bro but we are moving on with other candidates' (FFS) .
I pray that even my worst enemies don't get such managers and I hope he rots in hell.
Amen and sorry for the cussing :) -
I opened devrant with this rant in mind and the first thing i saw is a post about someones boss getting killed...
Fucking hell does someone have good news?
Everywhere i look is pain. Why is this world so cruel!?!?!
Why is there war Why did so many people get killed Why Why Why
My only safe place is while coding, this distracts me from this whole world. I create my own world while coding and dive deep into it. Its one of those things keeping me alive.4 -
If the christian god exists, then I'll go to hell because of my sexual orientation. Little do they know, as I wake up there, I'll make two steps back to pick up a chainsaw. It's there and I know it.
Dear god, watch out. Your days are numbered. I'll make Nietzsche "god is dead" stuff look like a fucking joke.
I'm coming for you.12 -
Fucking hell. Typescript is configured to require explicit typing of everything "because sometimes it does weird conversions". But because temporary variables can have weird types used just there (like arrays of various objects), there is a lot of variables typed as any.
That's bad on its own, but whatever. The real kicker is that eslint is set to throw warnings whenever it sees any, "so that people don't just put any on everything". I guess that was a failure...
I asked around and it turns out that TS and eslint were configured by two teams independently that merged when the project was new young, and it sort of stayed that way. No one from the original team is even working in the co panu anymore, yet this clusterfuck still lingers on, and even spreads to every new project that team starts8 -
I'm an idealist. I'm an optimist.
So of course I get enormously stressed out and depressed when the world just keeps fucking me over.
I have been at my current job for 2.5+ years. Been on the same project for the past 2+. And I am now on my 4th manager (not including the guy who hired me and got fired before I started).
It's just been one thing after the other. So many problems on this project with only one other dev on it until recently. Management has been avoiding taking proper actions.
I have done as much as I can and it has been a burden on my health. Last year I got passed over for a pay raise because of a bad manager, who since left for greener pastures. This year I got a small pay raise (below inflation) and a surprise bonus of such minuscule proportions that it's fucking laughable. I am being grossly underpaid for the weight that I'm pulling.
We just had a reorg that actually is a huge step in the right direction, and my new manager seems to actually want to give the project some proper attention.
So I asked him for a talk about my title and salary, so we can set things right.
We have now had two talks in a little over a week, in which he has emphatically stated over and over again how he just doesn't have the information or the power to give me anything at all.
And the thing is. I don't want to find another job. Of course I could easily do so, and for a lot more money too. But the problem is, I'm an idealist. I actually believe that what I'm working on, and what I will be working on in the future, at this place, is really important.
I should just get the hell out, as many of my colleagues have. It's actually quite incredible how many people have left my team over the past 6 months.
But I'm an optimist. I cannot see how management can possibly continue on this path without realising the consequences and taking action.
So now I've scheduled a meeting with the CEO to give him my two cents. I've done it before, which may actually have played a part in putting the reorg in motion.
I have to believe I can appeal to reason.
Otherwise, what's the point of anything?
I know. I'm the fucking clown meme.
Peace out.2 -
So ok, today was a crazy day.
New sprint, new ticket.
Work on the bug tickets first he said ….
Sure can. Oh had I just known that this very first innocent looking ticket is the way to coder‘s hell ….
‚Access of undefined‘ it said. Easy to fix, I thought.
Until I found the very same code twenty-fucking-two times over about 50 files!
Who would guess that exportSingleOperatorBooking, exportSeveralOperatorBookings, exportAllOperatorBookings (… and more) could in practically be the same? Nah, they all use different interfaces.
Oh wait, the alias type of the extended sub-interface of file misc.ts is the same logical content as a differently named interface below another different interface with the same content as in another ts file?
Wait that can‘t be. Riiiiight?? 😳
8h later I have barely scratched the surface of refactoring this shitshow of a project.
But no, I refuse to put the same error handling multiple times in different places.
I could have been done already. I could have saved my soul, my sanity. But I will be brave and strong to save the innocent developer that will cometh after me. For I shall be rewardeth for my sacrifice.
Amen.8 -
I fucking love the hypocrisy about even the smallest is considered a monopoly and can be fined.
But its totally the opposite when it comes to patents, i swear you can have the stupidest patents on dumbest things. Also that fact it seems like you can get a patent on just a way to implement that idea or techonology even you you had nothing to with inventing it.
I know in some cases and fields patents would be needed. But hell no in techonology, its even more ridiculous to thinking about you can have pantent on standards.
Remember being anti-competive (in diffrent ways though) is good so long you pay for it.4 -
Had a sleep paralysis of Rick Flair's voice saying "ostentatious, yeeeah" over and over again slightly changing the tone like in that "Doctor Deuce dot com" meme https://yewtu.be/watch/...
fucking hell1 -
Nothing better than greeting a project with a well-architected CSS/Sass file structure and not some framework dependency class name override hell that's all over the fucking place.
So companies please I am begging you to hire frontend developers who know what the fuck they're doing. -
So it me again and loviing my life at this tech startup..... i feel like I'm actually achieving something thogh at a slow pace
I know i can give out more to this startup.....but there is this 1 manager in our technical department......FUCK the old man thinks he knows everything and so damn arrogant.... at one time he made a fucking simple error which was fucking obvius but the man you cant tell him anything
if anything goes wrong or if anything isnt working the FUCKING old man is quick to throw the blame on people which i feel isnt supposed to be a mind set of some1 in the technical department..... I get it yes sometimes it will be the person making errors but even when you do it right and its not coming out as its supposed to be the damn OLD FUCKING MAN says you are doing it wrong.....then he steps in and bang....it fels and he'll be like "WHAT? HOW WHATS GOING ON...."
and me silently will be like MAKE IT WORK FUCKING OLD GENIUS
I cant even bring in new ideas and systems into the company......hell be like WE ALREADY HAVE SYSTEMS IN PLACE.... guess what..... no fucking system is being used -
I feel like being expected to handcode a user interface by supposed progressives is the most ass backwards idiotic tech decision with long and wide ranging consequences anyone ever farted out of the asshole god bored into their ugly faces!
Why the hell would I want to use web when I could use windows forms ?
Why is there no equivalent to the visual designer that's usuable ?
I mean I get it for more customized things
But why would I want to fuck with css when instead I could do about the same thing and store them in a settings file and point and click on a series of dropdowns and see the results as I create them ?
Why would I want to fuck around with an interface a resize destroys ?
Why would I want to mess with html tagging or tk or tcl containers when I could just drag an item into a window and update it's properties and add some fucking event handlers the stubs of which are automatically generated by a single DoubleClick??!!??
I hate it
It's slow
I want my fucking ui to be done quickly !
Am I just missing some vital tool that costs 5 grand ?16 -
Seems like there's no perfect balance at work, good at what you're doing? Take that promotion, also now you handle this and that!
Mediocre little shit? uhhh we won't promote him/her but whatever they do something at least.
Man I love my job and my company but fucking hell it seems like people never stop demanding shit from you and when you tell them no they judge you and call you names, like seriously wtf? is there no fucking thing called balance?4 -
Fuck Android development tools! What the fucking hell man?! I can't setup and run a simple hello world app!! And that's not the first time. I have tried this on multiple occasions throughout the years and always failed. Non-matching? multiple versions of build-tools, platforms, platform-tools, cmdline-tools, system-images, ... and binaries moving from folder to another between updates and Java, oh don't get me started on Java. I'm too old for this stuff.3
-
The problem as i see it is summed up in the following: everyone is fucking crazy
asked this guy i see here alot working, 'ever feel left behind in hell' he says 'oh this isn't hell it's (redacted) and we're on (redacted)'s mountain so we're closer to heaven'
so i make a not very novel joke anymore and I say "maybe there's a hellmouth over there, and we'd just have a farther fall" he smiled. it was a funny joke. whenever it was first made.
it was cynical humore expressing my present level of personal misery as I rot with everyone else.
also. remembered being able to convince someone to work for 50/hr doled out each hour as was satisfactory.
wonder if its possible again, person in question doesn't appear to be here today. oh well.
far far more honest than the other fucked up shit they do here and yes this whole rant was made before.
so. not a bot :P
and not making the comment about ownership let someone take this piece of life and let me get booted forward 15 years. fuckers.7 -
Tell you what happened to me last time. I went to this fucking job and it lasted the length of orientation just because they're assholes. Just like the assholes.modfied my work schedule by half and hour so I have to leave an hour earlier. Mother fuckers. Give me my goddamn earlier items back and go to hell early !
Imma make things out of them that they sell and feed orphans with them ! Oh and haha exactly 360 rants this morning ! -
So I just started another little project, and recognize it. It was one I was super close to finishing as well, just like the other.
All I'm waiting for on the one project is the ability to get a good c# dev env setup on linux.
but now I wonder should I abandon this one to ?
seriously, point ?
listening to these fucking people make their children misbehave and wail is like being in hell.
this is EXACTLY the way I would envision hell.
projects I can't fix
eternal entropy
no sex
and fucking pedophiles everywhere.
that and screaming. -
these are the types of vampiric scum that would make the best effigies to have their heads touted around on a damn stick!
that kind of attitude, hell the continuation of a system that can leave people in the cold who don't deserve to be, is what is truly fucking wrong with the USA.
god he's creepy.
he like has no fucking soul behind his smile.
like all of these critters.
rewarding only the trash.
https://nypost.com/2022/07/...13 -
3 days before, I talked with the owner of a small LLP Company along with other devs on discord. He told those who met with some skills can join their company (basically game development). I asked if they need any blog website or kind of portfolio for such (because the existing one sucks so much). He replied in affirmation and wanted me to contact him on Ig with a project link. I did the same in order. Now, he replied that Wix suits them perfectly. I was like
WHAT THE FUCKING HELL I CAN DO ABOUT THAT, why did he not tell me before -
There's a special place hell for people who put their entire documentation on using an NPM package in the fucking READ.ME file.
I shouldn't have to play whack a mole through one giant ass file to figure out how a specific function works. Or figure out how specific optional parameters need to be defined.3
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