ive been doing webdev for many years now, but i think its time i move on before i die from crazies.

who the hell thought it was a good idea using emojis for fucking css class names.

Reading devRant feed is so fucking hard nowadays. Every other rant is about Windows rebooting, Google being evil, Quantum beating Chrome, M$ users being cunts and all these fanboy shits.

Fucking hell. Write some actual code and rant about some solid problems rather than being a stupid fanboy.

When someone, after explaining it for 10 FUCKING TIMES, still doesn't get that WE ARE NOT HOSTING HIS MOTHERFUCKING SERVER SO WE CAN'T FIX HIS FATHERFUCKING COCKSUCKING EMAIL ISSUES.

FUCKING HELL.

Running from my job to my bus stop while having my phone in my hands trying to fend off a cyber attack while my hands are nearly freezing and its raining like hell.

Sometimes my job is just fucking awesome.

I was going to be very productive today.

My current 100kbs speed is making that any command entered into an ssh session has a delay of about 10-20 seconds.

My patience is being tested at some very high level right now.

I don't fucking understand this. Why the hell does every website has a autoplay video in their website?

I don't want to see your fucking video when I open your article, I am fucking trying to read something.

Fuck Microsoft.

No, not in any relation to windows this time.

Dear Microsoft, why on earth did you put us on your spam blacklist? There haven't been any spam attacks from our side, our servers have nearly the highest 'reputation' that email servers can get, we comply to all security standards and yet you're blacklisting us.

If for some reason you think something is wrong at our side anyways, we've tried to contact you and we either get ignored or get a very late response saying that we'll get delisted again within a day/week or whatsoever.

Microsoft, please go fuck yourself.

Friend: Can you teach me to code??

Me: Hell yes, bout time you came to your senses.

Friend pulls out iPad: Okay, lesson one!

Me: Did you actually just pull out an iPad? Get a fucking computer or laptop!

Holy fucking hell!
Who the fuck sets up a local network with an 255.255.0.0 subnet mask and then lets the dhcp-server distribute clients onto the 192.249.x.x., 192.2.x.x and the 192.22.x.x networks AT FUCKING RANDOM???
I need to SSH onto 40 routers distributed across the entire campus and have a WORKING internet connection while doing so and you make me spin the connect-disconnect-wheel. Fucking hell dude, don't give me that "Uh, it wasn't intended for this size"-bullshit. You have about 200 active devices. And in one subnet you have space for more than 60 000. Fuck you, dumbass! OH, YOUR FUCKING LIST IS FUCKING WRONG AND YOU DON'T REMEMBER THE IP OF THE ROUTERS? OH FUCK YOU EVEN HARDER!!!
Goddamn people why does legacy maintenance always suck so much?😭😭😭

After it was revealed that the Equifax hack was even bigger yet again, the US government said something that really made me say/think something in the trend of "WHAT the actual FUCK?!"

"This data is in the hands of cyber criminals anyways".

You run the biggest mass surveillance program in the world, sucking up more than a million terabytes every hour, then at least could you PRETEND to care/take interest when the personal data of about all your citizens appears on the Internet?!

Fucking hell.

Windows 10!! WHAT THE FUCKING WHAT do you think you're doing?? Why am I getting a message saying admin has blocked my access to Services when I AM THE FUCKING ADMIN! And I sure as hell didn't block me!!!!!!!!

Alright wikipedia, i see that you're in a crisis, but I just send 5€ your way. That should not be the fucking signal to unleash popup hell on me. Fucking 4 out of 5 pages now come with that popup. "if rveryone woukd just send $2..."

BITCH I SEND YOU 5€, STOP DEEPTHROATING ME YOUR UNGRATEFUL COCK

Today in a nutshell:

if(employeeJustClosedOneTicket)
{
insertTwoNewTickets();
}

Fucking hell.

We build a backup infrastructure at work to make sure that clients can restore their files and databases themselves when something gets fucked up.

We also have step by step tutorial on how to do this.

Every fucking day we get requests to restore backups.

Mostly used reason is "I'm a technical so I won't understand it".
With all due respect, if you don't understand this and keep asking without even trying, please don't host with us.
Because, if you did as I asked and actually read through the entire article, you would.
In case you're wondering, anytime one of us asks what part they don't understand, that question is simply ignored and they pushing for us restoring it anyways continues.

Sometimes they get angry and want to talk to someone higher up or start complaining that they're paying loads of money already and that it would just take us a second anyways.

If you would read the fucking tutorial/manual instead of trying to eat out your mother's badly shaved pussy and hopefully choke on it while you're at it, you wouldn't come asking us for it.
If you genuinely don't understand this article, feel free to ask but also provide us with cocksucking feedback.

Why do you think you have the right anyways to ask us to do it for free? We maintain the backup infrastructure which definitely isn't cheap but we do it so that you, pubic sniffing weazel, can do this shit on your fucking own.

You're entitled to ask us for help but not for asking us to restore your bullshit for free every freaking time.

Tip: give your parents some condoms. Because that way they hopefully won't reproduce again, we don't need more of you in this universe.

This is so fucking, fucking annoying.

Client (through ticket system): here's new nameservers my domain has to use, please enter them thank you!"
Me: you can easily do that yourself! *gives link to extremely fucking easy click-done tutorial*
Client: oh but I'm not technical, could you please do it anyways?

HAVE YOU EVEN FUCKING LOOKED AT THE LINK?!

THIS SHIT HAPPENS EVERY GODDAMN DAY.

html {
design: responsive;
}

I fucking hate frontend webdeveloping... It was all nice! Vertically aligning items using flexbox etc... But then God said, "let there be cunts who use unsupported browsers!"

FUCKING HELL I HATE IT

I've put my blood, sweat and tears into this company in the past years. Worked overtime, evenings, weekends, night shifts to get shit done and helped out in sharing knowledge only to learn a new guy who's still learning has 200 bucks higher pay check than me.

I'm not even sure how to react to this.

This can annoy the hell out of me. When people ask me if they can have your Facebook or whatsapp or something and I'm like 'sorry I don't have that' and they ask why and you explain because privacy reasons and they go like 'oh you're a little paranoid are ya?'.

There's a motherfucking big difference between wanting control over your data as much as possible and being paranoid.

Fucking hell.

Fucking hell. If I like your bloody app, I'll go rate it myself you fucktwaddle. Don't ask me to rate it just after I've opened it for the first time.

Fucking hell, don't let them get to devrant...

This happens way too FUCKING often:
Random person: Hey, can I have your number so I can text you?
Me: Yeah sure! *gives number*
*A few days later*
Person: Hey you gave me your number to message you but I can't find you on whatsapp???
Me: no indeed....?
Person: Well, then why did you give me your number?!?
Me: you asked if you could TEXT me, I don't have whatsapp.....?
Person: Ohh but I meant whatsapping.... that's like the same

THAT'S NOT THE MOTHERFUCKING SAME!!! TEXTING != WHATSAPPING YOU FUCKING COCKSUCKING MOTHERFUCKING ANNOYING PIECE OF GRRRRRRRRR

Forgot the password of the private key used to login to all my vpn servers.

Now I’ve got to generate a new one and deploy it everywhere again through this shitty control panel for every server fucking manually.

🤬

Guys google have made a revolutionary discovery, it's going to change smartphones for the better!!!!

(Yes must clarify this is immense amounts of sarcasm because fucking hell google you would think you have all this money that you could work this fucking shit out...)

FUCK YOU PHP!!!! FUCKING HELL JUST FUCK THE HELL OFF YOU PIECE OF SHIT.
8 GOD FORSAKEN HOURS SPENT TRYING TO ZIP SOME SHITTY FUCKING FILES IN A FOLDER ON MY WEB SERVER TO HAVE THEM DOWNLOADED TO MY CLIENT COMPUTER.... 8 HOURS UNABLE TO OPEN THE DAMN FILE AND THE ISSUE WAS "echo" & "print_r()" STATEMENTS GETTING TRAPPED IN MY ZIPARCHIVE BUFFER MAKING THE ZIP FILE A GIANT PILE OF UNREADABLE SHIT.
HOW IN GODS NAME WERE THOSE FUCKERS EVEN BEING ADDED TO THE ZIP FILE.

Fucking hell. Time to sleep.

before programming class:
"yes easy af, imma finish this in a few minutes"

during programming class:
*types everything in 10 mins*
*compiles and runs perfectly*
"wtf this isnt supposed to happen"
*spends 30 minutes trying to find the bug*
"fucking hell, it should fucking work by now"

end of programming class:
"oh i put int instead of float, good job, my time was wasted because of one fucking word"

!dev related but fucking hell I need to get this out.

Could people (including friends) fucking stop to invalidate my favourite music genre?!

'Its just too hard', 'its so aggressive', 'its only boom boom boom'

Fuck you.

Always, al-fucking-ways at every party or wherever when people are allowed to put on music, whenever I'm allowed to, my music is turned off right away.

'Sorry but not everyone likes this and you're not the only one here'

I'm sorry, WHAT? I'VE LISTENED TO STYLES I REALLY FUCKING DON'T LIKE FOR FUCKING HOURS AND I'VE SWALLOWED IT ALL. THEN AT LEAST LET ME PLAY ONE FUCKING SONG ON A WHOLE FUCKING EVENING.

And nothing against metal peoples, really not but its nearly always the metal people who put their music on all evening and keep telling how awesome metal is and the second I mention my genre or out it on: 'oh but that sucks' *switches back to metal*

Go fuck yourselves. I'm swallowing this shit every fucking time but I'm getting fucking sick of this bullshit.

By the way, my favourite genre is raw hardstyle aka rawstyle.

Nothing better on a Monday morning than oversleeping, realizing that that one server issue notification was a general notification app one and there actually have been loads of disruptions, trains are down...

If they're out of coffee at the station in fucking done with today already.

People who say something isn't working and ask us to investigate.

Alright, it's not on our side, go ask support at {differentcompany}.

*presents actual proof*

Client replies: oh but I asked the other side and they send over this proof *shows proof saying that its not on our side but very technical so the client doesn't understand* so it's definitely on your side!!!!!!

This annoys the living fucking hell out of me, FUCKING FUCK.

😡

Umidigi, kindly go fuck yourself.

When --> I <-- buy a phone, I should be the fucking one who decides if I'm allowed to install a motherfucking custom launcher.

Your phone is awesome (second full day with heavy usage == 53 percent battery) but on the launcher thing, go fuck yourself. Also go to hell. No, go fuck yourself IN hell, that's even better.

Disabled fucking arrows keys in vim. Life is hell now.

I will be posting a lot more rants from now on as I am learning vim so bear with me.

A single fucking CSS SELECTOR has over 12000 characters !!!!

JUST THE SELECTOR !!!

Just to add `color: #ffc311;` to a bunch of fucking elements !!!

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK !!!

Why not create a fucking class like `color--orange` and add that on all the elements you need to have that color, at least !!

THIS IS A FUCKING NIGHTMARE !!!

To all those web developers who load their entire fucking website in JavaScript - even on fucking news articles where JAVASCRIPT ISN'T EVEN FUCKING NEEDED, and top it off with a heavy as shit framework, BURN IN FUCKING HELL!!!

Why. Why in the name of fucking god is this a thing!?.
Why a fucking huge ass parcel for like, 2 cm³ of content.
Fucking hell just why.
Explain.

Fucking hell.

RIP Stan Lee

I swear 90% of people who apply for a dev job couldn't code to save their fucking lives.

Like wtf? You can't apply for a job as a commercial pilot, then turn up and announce you've never flown a plane before, so why is that accepted as being somewhat expected in development?

Fucking hell....

Working on adjusting a shell script to my needs.

The fucker quits execution after an apt update command is ran.

No reason, it just fucking quits. No error messages or whatever, nothing.

This script can go suck a cock.

Services/apps and their automatic general sayings. I fucking hate that.

'apping' is an abbreviation for either whatsapping someone or messaging them in general (in the Netherlands at least).
Sorry but I fucking hate WhatsApp and I'm not going to say that fucking app/apping word. But then in general it's confusing imo.

IF YOU'RE GOING TO TEXT ME, DON'T SAY YOU'RE GOING TO APP ME.

IF YOU'RE GOING TO SIGNAL ME, DON'T SAY YOU'RE GOING TO APP ME.

"but I meant that" - THEN FUCKING SAY IT.

I DON'T 'GOOGLE SOMETHING'. I FUCKING DUCKDUCKGO IT. NO, THAT'S NOT THE FUCKING SAME.

FUCKING HELL.

Fucking hate these emails with a broken unsubscribe button. Rot in hell, assholes.

Tried to modify a script again which pretty much installs a ready to use vpn server on a server.

Tried to modify it so that it takes arguments instead of manual input.

It is, fucking, yet again, quitting right after an apt install command.

Error exit code? Oh no, a perfectly fine fucking 0. Which means it ran successfully.

Successfully my fucking ass. You aren't even through half the motherfucking script!?

Fucking hell. Fuck my life sideways.

First fucking night of being on call again.

Normally I set an alarm at 3 to check if any critical disruptions have been going on.

But why the fuck would I need that if I woke up every fucking hour at night anyways?

I'm fucking tired right now and agitated as hell.

I'mma just leave this here. Time to download all the memes while I can.

What fresh hell is this

.replaceAll("(//"?)([^//d]+)(//.?)([^//d]+)(//.?)([//d]{3})(//.?)([^/d]+)(//"?)","$1$2$3$4$5$6$7$8$9")

...who is fucking with me

Fucking hell, I really wanna kill this guy...

Fucking hell with that naming !!! For fucks sake DONT EVER NAME THEM button1 button2 😒😒😒😒😒

FML!!

!dev
It's one of those nights again. It's so hot that I'm constantly sweating my fucking ass off and its near impossible to ventilate here. Fucking irritated for some fucking reason and questioning all my fucking life and work decisions yet again.

I don't fucking need this right now. Have to get up in 6 hours but oh boy is this going to be a long night.

12 - 1pm is lunch time. What the hell is it with this team and arranging meetings for this time, does nobody eat?

*Propose new time*

Justification: ... i'm fucking hungry

I want to be PROGRAMMING on the freaking privacy site already, not having to search for icons, download them in the right color/format etc.

Fucking hell. (although finding good/fitting icons is a funny challenge though :P)

Today I slept for more than 7h. And I'm fucking proud of it.
Hell yeah!

I'm losing my fucking mind right fucking here.

Setting an anti-csrf token in the index.php file ONCE. Yes, I triple trillion checked, only fucking once.

Print it to the page as test, fair enough, looks good.

Send an ajax request to the server:
AN ENTIRELY FUCKING DIFFERENT TOKEN 😡

Fucking hell.

He put just a zip in the new branch. I thought it was going to be the actual fucking project like I asked him to. Nope just a damn zip for me to extract and push to github correctly

Fucking hell

Github bought by Microsoft.
GitLab migrating to Google.

I Already didn't use github but I'm a - that'll change soon - gitlabber.

Post alternatives in the comments please!

Client: hey ***, happy birthday can you help me fixing....
Me thinking: hell no, i deal with yall fuckers 364 days a fucking year and yall can't leave me the hell alone for one cocksucking day. I need this one damn day a year not dealing with yall assholes where i don't snap and drive 300 fucking miles to not drive a nail in a broomstick and drive it up your fucking asdls

> Gradle build finished in 32 seconds

As if you did, fucking cunt. I've only watched half an anime episode and commented here and there in the meantime. Surely that'd be 30 seconds. Perhaps Gradle, you could've taken all that extra time to learn how to fucking count.

Android development, what hell am I getting myself into...

All respect to android (love the system (no, that doesn't mean that I love google)) and also to awesome custom roms (hell even some vendors make quite good ones imo!).

BUT WHO THE FUCKING HELL THOUGHT IT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA TO LIMIT THE AMOUNT OF ALARMS YOU CAN HAVE TO 15 OR EVEN LIMIT IT AT ALL?!?
I HAVE TO GET UP AT 3:30 FOR WORK EACH NIGHT AND THIS IS *NOT* HELPING.

THE PERSON WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA CAN TAKE A PHONE, OPEN THAT DEFAULT CLOCK APP AND SHOVE IT UP HIS FUCKING ASS.

Why the fuck do people have to be fucking lazy as hell? There is a dishwasher in the kitchen. Please put your fucking dirty dishes there and NOT ABOVE on the tray!
Also when you take a dump at the toilets: BE FUCKING QUIET! You sound like you are fucked from behind by a T-Rex! You can breath without making sounds!
And for christ sake: If you come into the bathroom please check the fucking signs on the locks BEFORE you try to enter! It is annoying as hell to sit there minding my own business while some douchebag tries to enter my rest room!

Who the fuck designed the UI of linkedIn? When I click on My Connection, I expect to see my fucking connections. Not People I may know, Not my recent invitations, no fucking bullshit. Just my connection.

They have a small fucking text (Not even a fucking button) that says "See All" in a small corner which I can click to see all my connections. Why the fuck do you a nav button on top called "My connection" then? FUCKING HELL MAN!

Fucking retards. They make us submit 3 fully fledged fucking Android apps (with ALL the generated boilerplate crap), all zipped into one fucking folder which cannot exceed 10MB.

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME, YOU DUNG-EATING PREHISTORIC APE ?! ONE PROJECT ALONE IS 60 MB, HOW IN THE MOTHER-FLIPPING HELL DO YOU EXPECT ME TO FIT 3 OF THOSE INTO 10 MEASLY MEGABYTES?!
Ever heard of git you moth-eating-cactus-fucking pricks?! Time has come to learn it !!! Private repos are a thing, you cocksuckers.

May your bed be infested with bugs and your code riddled with Greek semi-colons. Fucking dimwits.

I finally got Redux-Form’s `initialValues` to work! Wooooo~!

/giphy confetti cheering

It turns out I haven’t actually been doing anything wrong for the past week. I mean, I've been working on other things during that week, too, but I've been trying to solve this the entire time.

The cause? ReduxForm made a breaking change awhile ago (v5; we’re using v7) that prevents the `initialValues` prop from working if you decorate your form component in the wrong order. Many examples online are incorrect because of this.

Basically, the decorators `reduxForm` and `connect` do not commute:

Incorrect:
`reduxForm(...)( connect(..., {...})(form) )`

vs Correct:
`connect(..., {...})( reduxForm(...)(form) )`

But what really pisses me off is that the fucking documentation specifically fucking states that you may decorate your component IN ANY [FUCKING] ORDER.

/giphy that is [fucking] false

So, I've been following example after [fucking] example that either list these in the wrong order, or I just don't notice the different order because it doesn't matter. AND because of that NONE OF THE [...] EXAMPLES WORK.

ARGH.

I've been pacing around the office trying to figure this out for days. I've rewritten my code three times to try to solve this. I've written two workarounds for it only to rip them out and try again because they both broke some other part of the UX. (e.g. causing false validation errors after rerender)

just. hafhsldkjhgjkhagklwhsdjfkahslf. 😡

/giphy angry hades

You know how I discovered this?
I found it in a github ticket. One solitary, untagged ticket from October of last year. Not a single goddamn post anywhere else mentioned this. And the [...] documentation specifically [...] states the [...] opposite!

Bloody [...] hell.

but it finally works.
as;kgjhaekl;gahgjkdflssdafh.

I could scream.

hardest part of finding a job related to ur developing skills is that theyre asking for years of experience
fucking hell thats why im looking for a job to get more experience

So yesterday I said to my private laptop update and shutdown...

Fast forward to this morning. Hell breaks loose. Have to fix it asap! We have downtime. But fucking windows update!!!

You fucking peace of shit should have done this yesterday. And why does it have to take so long.

It fucking infuriates me when the docs mention to create a certain config file "xyz.json" but completely leave it to your imagination where the hell this fucking file should be placed!
Come on, I'm not getting paid for detective work, fucking imbeciles.

I’m adding some fucking commas.
It should be trivial, right?
They’re fucking commas. Displayed on a fucking webpage. So fucking hard.

What the fuck is this even? Specifically, what fucking looney morons can write something so fucking complicated it requires following the code path through ten fucking files to see where something gets fucking defined!?

There are seriously so fucking many layers of abstraction that I can’t even tell where the bloody fucking amount transforms from a currency into a string. I’m digging so deep in the codebase now that any change here will break countless other areas. There’s no excuse for this shit.

I have two options:
A) I convert the resulting magically conjured string into a currency again (and of course lose the actual currency, e.g. usd, peso, etc.), or

B) Refactor the code to actually pass around the currency like it’s fucking intended to be, and convert to a string only when displaying. Like it’s fucking intended to be.

Impossible decision here.

If I pick (A) I get yelled at because it’s bloody wrong. “it’s already for display” they’ll say. Except it isn’t. And on top of that, the “legendary” devs who wrote this monstrosity just assumed the currency will always be in USD. If I’m the last person to touch this, I take the blame. Doesn’t matter that “legendary Mr. Apple dev” wrote it this way. (How do I know? It’s not the first time this shit has happened.) So invariably it’ll be up to me to fix anyway.

But if I pick (B) and fix it now, I’ll get yelled at for refactoring their wonderful code, for making this into too big of a problem (again), and for taking on something that’s “just too much for me.” Assholes. My après Taco Bell bathroom experiences look and smell better than this codebase. But seriously, only those two “legendary” devs get to do any real refactoring or make any architecture decisions — despite many of them being horribly flawed. No one else is even close to qualified… and “qualified” apparently means circle jerking it in Silicon Valley with the other better-than-everyone snobs, bragging about themselves and about one another. MojoJojo. “It was terrible, but it fucking worked! It fucking worked!” And “I can’t believe <blah> wanted to fix that thing. No way, this is a piece of history!” Go fuck yourselves.

So sorry I don’t fit in your stupid club.

Oh, and as an pointed, close-at-hand example of their wonderful code? This API call I’m adding commas to (it’s only used by the frontend) uses a json instance variable to store the total, errors, displayed versions of fees/charges (yes they differ because of course they do), etc. … except that variable isn’t even defined anywhere in the class. It’s defined three. fucking. abstraction. layers. in. THREE! AND. That wonderful piece of smelly garbage they’re so proud of can situationally modify all of the other related instance variables like the various charges and fees, so I can’t just keep the original currency around, or even expect the types to remain the same. It’s global variable hell all over again.

Such fucking wonderful code.

I fucking hate this codebase and I hate this fucking company. And I fucking. hate. them.

PSD2 is into effect in the Netherlands.

Because let's enable others to fuck over other peoples privacy!

Back to cash as much as possible it is.

Fucking hell 😡

I understand the fact that your website uses cookie but fucking hell it can use it to remember that I accepted 7373738594929738849393 times

Dear namecheap, I honestly love your service and prices but how in the hell can I see an ip address in the dig of a new domain (url shortener) which I never put or saw there and which doesn't even belong to any server I own/operate?!

DNS cache after the last chance of three days ago, nah, don't think so.

Fucking hell.

*phone rings*

Me: "Hello".

Caller: "Hi, I'm just going to patch you in to this conference call."

Fucking hell.

fucking hell, piss off

Why the hell would I apply for a job as a JS developer when you can't even write proper JS? You're advertising on fucking NPM!

"BlueStacks 4, 6 times faster than every phone on Earth!!!"
*wank wank*

Meanwhile, it can't even do window compositing (y u no use the fucking compositor of the fucking OS?!) or keyboard input (sends Return twice apparently). But yeah, faster than every phone on Earth. MY FUCKING ASS IS FASTER, FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT!!!

So much for a Sunday where my servers can go straight to hell for a day, and I'll just play some fucking games.. so much for that.

FUCK!!!

small reminder: building your own operating system means that you are forced to scan the memory by yourself...

FUCKING HELL PLEASE KILL ME NOW

It pisses me off that germany has no proper mobile reception fucking anywhere near rural areas.
And don't get me started on railway lines.

Also Telekom is just garbage.
We pay full price and get less than half of the data we're paying for.

Fucking hell rant over.

I set the fucking alarm at 06.40. It's now 10.56 and I just woke up. What the HELL IS WRONG WITH ME?!

holy fucking hell, who’s dumb ass idea was it to make Visual Studio require a god damn fucking update for the installer before I can uninstall it, you stupid ass dumb fucks MS, I didn’t just tell you uninstall it so you can go burn more data down my shitty copper pipes.

Make your cookies banner have equal "Accept All" and "Reject All" buttons, and I'll probably Accept All.

Bury rejection under a fucking "Manage Cookies" button and I will go out of my way to disable/opt out of every fucking one of them.

Also why the fuck would rejecting all take "a few minutes" but accepting be instantaneous?

Fucking hell.

What the hell is wrong with you guys taking screenshots with your goddamn phone?! Ever heard of that small magical programm called "snipping tool"? It's like fucking screenshot porn! And yes, there is a screenshot programm on Linux too. Goddammit. Are you devs or fucking newbie users?

This fucking call is still going, and this asshat who should know how to do SIMPLE FUCKING COMMANDS LIKE MV AND CP is having a hell of a time and I'm about ready to throw my arm at him because I ok hurt like hell and hopefully knock some sense into his brain.

I wonder if the meeting at Rubber ducks quack association goes like this...
Why the hell doesn't my guy see the problem? It's fucking right there! Why don't you see it??? OMG! I request for a change of owner.

On hold to the jobcentre, coming up to 1.5 hours now...

FUCK YOU WITH A CACTUS WRAPPED IN BARBED WIRE YOU USELESS CUMSTAIN OF A GOVERNMENT. I HAVE NO FOOD, NO HOME, AND 20% BATTERY.

SORT YOUR SHIT BEFORE I FIND EVERY SINGLE FUCKING CALL CENTRE AND FIREBOMB THEM.

fucking hell. I fucking hate this shit.

My employer doesn't allow us to use Linux; I have to use MacOS because "Windows is sooooo bad".
Fucking hell I'd choose Windows every day if the year over this garbage fucking OS

While I fucking hate front end and app development, I also hate that I'm so fucking dependant on them for the development of services and such.

Right now I'm developing a suite of services with a mate and while the backend and security (+linux servers) are something I'm good at, I find it hard sometimes to continue without being able to see my API's in action through apps and good looking interfaces.

My mate is currently handling that part but he has way less time than I do and thus I sometimes have to create interfaces to even just be able to see how my shit would work irl.

I can't fucking stand this and it sometimes entirely drains my motivation but there's also no fucking way in hell that I'll dive into frontend and/or app development.

Fucking hell.

Was my prev dev fucking high or what?
Who names an UPDATE Query as delete.
That shitfuck deserves a special place in hell.

Android Studio Installation.

What is the fucking point of giving an option to install the software somewhere other than C drive when the installation fails if done so.

Fucking cunts, multi billion dollar company my ass. Go to hell you stupid fucks.

Every time a distro defaults my editor to nano, I lose a brain cell. Why, why this crappy abomination of an editor? Distro maintainers, default to proper vim for an editor like real men! Fucking hell!

You fucking dense motherfucker of a professor. You mentally disabled shit-eater. You fucking perfectly know that I have been offered a very good position in a company I really wanted to work at and you fucking force me to stay and wait for the next graduation date to make me get my fucking degree. Just because you offered me a PhD position and I didn't want it.
I sincerely hope you lose all your prestige. Fucking choke with a big ass cock in your throath, eat your own vomit disgusting piece of shit. You are a fucking 60yo child. You have no respect for people work, you always want more. Get cancer fucking animal.

HOLY SHIT HANG URSELF

Dear XCode I hope you fucking burn in hell you piece of shit! can't do anything without that shit either indexing, or freezing, or crashing!
FUCK YOU BITCH!

WELL GEE, IF I KNEW WHAT MY ACCOUNT USERNAME WAS, I WOULD JUST SIGN IN YOU ASSHOLE. -.-

On top of that, they use these fucking anchent capchas that are fucking case sensitive and annoying as hell..

In their defence, I was trying to automate their website (one of those get paid to click sites) in an atempt to get some money, but still!

i understand some developers like to write wrapper functions to handle tedious things, I even understand how to write dynamic SQL queries, but for the love of fucking god and sanity, NEVER FUCKING DO THIS!!!!

Yes its PHP, but its not even bad PHP, its a fucking abomination from hell of PHP.

I'm fixing a bug. In a car. In the middle of the fucking forest. My download speed is 13 KiB/s, roughly 75120 times slower than at the office. Fucking hell.

I cant fucking wait for the day when i dont have to do fucking frontend just give me a backend, even fucking php is fine just get me away from javascript this is hell this is torture help

Worst part: being everyone else's Search Bitch. Seriously, how the hell do you have a job in the tech industry when you can't use a fucking search engine, whether it's Google, a builtin search facility or, hell, scrolling down the goddamn page?

Being under 1000 rep on stackoverflow is elo hell. All you get are downvotes for non-duplicate, sensible and well explained questions. I think most of SO community is pretty fucking toxic towards people trying to learn programming.

Welp, at a dinner with @ewpratten and @n3xus . Just told them I was literally one vote away from 1024 and they both down voted me under 1000 and then above 1024

Why in hell do corporates need us to be fucking awaken early every fucking morning?

Fucking hell with the password fields.
Why in the fucking hell you can't tell me what's the max characters count? Why I have to deal with auto-truncated passwords after the fact?
Go eat exquisite shit, peasant punks, pussy cutters.

There’s a special place in hell for fuckwits who create tickets and don’t include the fucking error message.

The boss made us to set a shitty background (pattern) to the website we are working on right now but it looks ugly as hell. I tried to change his mind several times but no, he fucking loves that background.

The hell, why'd I write an add-on for a system I don't know as well while I could just implement a PHP version easily!?

Even if it is just to fucking prove that this can easily be done in PHP!

CSS - Separate style from content...
Yeah... More like creating divs to make that fucking div aligned.

Straight from table hell to div hell

Some genius at Google Chrome team just fucked up the minimise, close buttons of the application in KDE.

Thank man, just what I needed.

THIS FUCKING DEBUGGER IS IGNORING MY FUCKING BREAKPOINTS

GO TO HELL YOU PIECE OF SHIT

AND RSPEC: FUCK YOUR LIMITED METHOD HIT-COUNTING BULLSHIT! ONE HIT-COUNT PER METHOD FOR THE ENTIRE SPEC IS NOT GOOD ENOUGH!

FJA;KLGAKLGJFKSDHG

Math.
The thing i am fucking bad in.
Even basic math shit is hell for me.

What the hell happened to devRant?

So we have this person who is digging up old posts, harassing people (@LotsOfCaffeine here, me as well, probably more) and some fucking how is getting 14 updoots while obviously being, or at least portraying themselves as a misogynistic hater of everyone and everything. What the actual hell is up with devRant? How are there FOURTEEN OTHER PELPLE who AGREE WITH THIS PERSON. How many active users are we here? I'm sure 14 users is a pretty significant percentage of the active user base.

People, I feel bad for this person. I've been a bit of a dick to them and so have many more, but what the hell happened to devRant, the place where you went to rant about stupid colleagues and bosses, share funny coding stories and other bulshittery? We're turning into fucking 4chan with politics, sexism and racism being the main story line here. I dont fucking get it. I'm on the brink of just leaving. I'm so fucking tired of this shit...

God damn it lastpass, how the hell do you get a memory leak and an infinite loop in a fucking browser extension?! Using 7GB of RAM and all 8 cores @ 3,4GHz!!

Fucking piece of shit windows 10!
Screw you to hell!
Disk usage : 100%
Memory usage: 60%
CPU usage: 2%

Sluggish as hell! And downloading updates without even asking! How fucking dare you!

Stuck with this shit just because of Photoshop and Illustrator.

🚨 PSA 🚨

It is not ok to be all over you significant other in a pretty intimate way when in public. Especially not the fucking bus stop. At 10 in the morning.

Fucking hell.

Jesus Christ Almighty fucking Instagram is a real shit show lately.

So many fucking bots. The porn bots than spam comments and DMs, the bots people tag in comments that get you a lot of likes and then just people that use bots to comment on posts.

Like fucking hell bruh can y'all fix your shit?

Fucking lazy customer support that files bugs with "<some functionality> is not working" with no steps to reproduce or any other description of the issue, deserve to die in the same hell as it is figuring out the rest of the details.

You know what?

Last night I was dreaming and all that I’ve seen was fucking preloader.

Seriously. I couldn’t wake up. I tried thinking about something else but couldn’t focus on anything else than fucking preloader spinning around. Just couldn’t get it out of my head.

That was terrible. Am I even human? Or was my dreams server blocked? Damn, I’m gonna sleep with VPN tonight.

Why the fucking hell is it so fucking hard to find an Android phone without a shitty ass UI slapped over it?

Holy fucking shit this is fucking ridiculous.

When you get a call into the helpdesk:

" It doesn't work!! "

What doesn't fucking work???!!!!??? And who the hell is this anyway?

Fucking hell. Falling asleep is literally the hardest thing I can imagine. And I have to do it every fucking day

FUCK! The fucking previous dev on this project who set up the fucking web service that he knew would be shared among multiple platforms set it up to use an audio format that's only supported on one platform. Now I'm faced with either doing some fucking JS black magic to decode the fucking base64 audio, convert it to another audio format, and then possibly re-encode it or attempting to re-write the fucking web service and already in production app! Fucking hell!

Fucking gnu gettext, fucking .po and .mo files and fuck the fucking poedit. Why in the fucking hell a damn i18n solution used by so many languages doesn't support correctly fucking utf 8 characters in strings inside the code, I mean, WHAT THE FUCK, this is my second day trying to make the fucking Python gettext module to translate the fucking word "está" because I've a fucking big code base programming in Spanish that need to be translated. This is the fucking 2016 and we still have problems with fucking special characters? I mean CMMON

it truly is hell to develop on an beast laptop that has 8gb of fucking ram

im gonna upgrade to 32 gigs of ram real soon i dont give a fuck

Why the hell do I have to keep showing everyone on my team how to use git. Learn it God dammit!!! Is not that hard. How come you freak out on a simple conflict? Why don't you delete your fucking merged branches?

Finally!
Got my Minecraft server running inside Docker to properly stream logs through Go to this shitty web interface. Fucking hell I didn't think this would be so fucking complicated!

Edit: Forgot the image :)

It's been a minute.

But I've got to fucking say this in brief.

Managers who are bored of their jobs - get a fucking job you actually love and keep you productive.

Stop making our life a hell just because you can't fucking figure yours out.

Selah!

HELL FUCK AND HELL YEAH AT THE SAME FUCKING TIME!
Why? Well... You maybe remember that I Posted a Rant where i said that i Stream EVERY 3D Print i do. And... That I wanted to make an Easter Bunny, that failed... Failed Horribly... and thanks to the Fact im streaming everything i could just REWIND the footage AND FOUND THE ERROR! AND IM SO FUCKING GLAD THAT I DID THIS!
GOOD DOCUMENTATION IS A MUST FOR EVERYTHING!!! DOCUMENT YOUR WHOLE FUCKING LIFE! JUST FUCKING DO IT!

Fucking hell, new API and it doesn't support JSON. WTF?

Ah fucking hell.
I hate it when my boss goes the path of least resistance to implement something.

Of course declaring a class property with the "any" type (TypeScript) is a fucking lot easier than to properly write an interface for it and declare the property with that type.

Thank god I have holidays, otherwise I would hatepunch his fucking monitor. Twice.

FUCK YOU ACCESS!!! FUCK YOU MICROSOFT!!! FUCK YOU DB PROF FOR FORCING IS TO USE THIS FUCKING PEACE OF CRAPWARE!!!
In the time I spent cursing at Microsofts bullshit I could have done the task twice in MySQL and would already have a nice looking fucking UI for this shit. FUCKING HELL.

So it turns out that the iPhone X was one of the most popular christmas gifts this year in Norway. I mean fucking hell, how is that even possible given the price?

!dev

What the hell is wrong with bus drivers?! Our bus was just stopping, and the bus on the other side of the road couldn't care to wait 20 more seconds, so he drives away, fucking waving to our driver. What the hell man? Literally everyone coming with this bus takes it just to switch to your fucking bus you cunt!

Oh for fucks sake, I only agreed to fix one fucking problem in your shit hole of a wordpress hell, not everything your sorry excuse of a "wordpress expert" fucked up.

We need time travel asap!

Starting my morning with some hard lemonade. It’s no single malt, but fucking hell do I need it.

"Can I have an app? It's a million dollar idea: you take a picture of yourself and it tells you if you're pregnant or just fat. I don't have any money at the moment but I'm willing to give you 5%, maybe less if my friend wants to join. plus, no ads, and make it a free app so it will be liked alot."

Can you shut the fuck up? do you have any idea what the fuck you're talking about? that's the most fucking ridiculous idea I've ever heard. how the hell would it even work?

Fucking hell. When you go to bed sorta early, but can't stop thinking about your latest project for some fucking reason. So you wake up hours later STILL thinking about it, thus you aren't even sure if you slept at all. Doesn't feel like it. What the fuck? Programming, are you my goddamn love interest or what? Anyone knows the feeling?

some genius modafaka thought REPLACING python3.6 by 3.7 in all the dev machines is gonna be fine... the whole team is going nuts... fuck you IT... who gave you the permission

Fucking hell with React Naive! Spent all day making a screen and that bitch looked messed up on Android but working as intended on iOS!

I fucking hate that shit hybrid shit apps!

Fucking hell mates, for me reading the rants is more addictive than fucking 9gag was back in the day :D

Fuck me. 5 installation attempts later, still can't get arch to boot after removing the live usb. Do I have the wrong fucking kernel, cause it can't find it during boot now. Fucking hell, I just want this shit to run.

Me: ok let's clone my repo and work on adding some legit features!
NBN: hm, I see you're trying to use the internet, I think I'll go down now!

Fucking hell -,-

MacBook Pro's (2017) keyboard is a fucking nightmare. So far Ive had more than 10 keys being detached from the keyboard. Luckily Apple has replaced those keys for free but this should not be a fucking problem on a $2600 laptop. Fucking hell.

Fucking tutorials that simply skip thing completely.

Like how the fuck am I supposed to know how to run that that shit when you don't even mention how to build it and jump straight to the fucking debugging section.

Fucking hell, relate yourself to the people who'll read your shit, you non empathetic scum

so wait... the recruitment agency just gave me the wrong FUCKING ADDRESS.

THAT JUST FUCKING HAPPENED.

Get your head out your arse, and take a fucking proper look at the appointment details, instead of checking your goddamn phone constantly.

Fucking hell, I'm angry.

I seriously cannot stress how important it is to build good reliable tests. Especially regression testing.

I am crying inside over the amount of time I've lost in my integration hell.

Seriously stupid shit that should have been tested but never did because I was too fucking lazy. Don't be me. Don't put yourself in the hell I'm in. Be better.

How comes that people can write such fucking shitty code?

Because I mean, why the hell would I want a progress indicator while the form is loading?

Actually, let's just not disable the form while it's loading. Let the user get mad when it's data's overwritten.

And best of all. Let's use inconsistent naming and fucking metadata tables so that we don't have any structure and make queries slow.

Yes. I fucking love incompetent consultants. Fucking love them. Good thing he never got hired...

know what is worst than fucking clients from hell?

fucking websites that need a mortherfucking good spec computer to run. i cannot even type properly. thought my keyboard had problem. no. I can fucking type fucking quick and well here now with no hiccup. i wish i can burn those all down.

no wonder we love devrant. even the website is fast and good.

FUCKING HELL!

I just shutdown my computer after deciding to leave the unfinished feature that I started a couple hours ago for tomorrow.

Not 5 fucking minuets later I had found a solution in my head but now don’t want to spend the time to turn my computer on to fix it. Ugh

I must use windows at work and after 5 years of using mac I can say that windows is fucking loud, fucking beeps everywhere. Like you fucking do anything that has no results it’s beep - that’s fucking crazy I feel like I’m on some fucking road with assholes all over the place beeping on me.

I can work in silence on my mac, no software beeps by default.

Fucking Hell how can you listen to beep all day ?

people that answer a question with another fucking irrelevant question should have a special place in hell !!

why dont you just answer the fucking question when in the first place i asked you politely and nicely !!

the question doesn't even deserve a fucking follow up question in the first place !!

you've wasted both our time with your stupidity!!

If Windows 10 could stop deleting my entire UserProfile at work, that would be great... Fucking hell...! I hate Mondays...

Fucking dialog box with only one choice... “Stay Connected” what the hell did you even give me this choice for? What if I wanted to log out? Why prompt at all?

Wow I was playing Dota 2 when Windows decided to minimize it and tell me about the update timing. Almost cost me a game.

Programming, suck on my covfefe

Nothing makes me happier than listening to my neighbor's disgusting banda music playing as loud as it can.

No worries tho, the cops will be here in about 20 mins (it usually is 20) one would have expected that after getting the cops called on you for 3 times already you would get the message:

No homeslice. If i want to listen to that cantina piece of shit music on my fucking friday nights I will make sure to let u know :) but I actually have class so no thank you.

This is why Trump hates us (Mexicans)

I get you're a little over twice my fucking age but you still shouldn't need a step by fucking step instruction book to download and open a damn document. Especially since you do it every damn day in office. Just cause you're remote on a laptop doesn't change how shit works.

Hell I took the damn time to make your laptop as close yp your desktop as I could. And asked you to test it before you left. You didn't. At this point its just incompetent and not my problem.

Fucking hell. Half an hour on phone to open a damn .docx in word. At 48 you should be able to do this. Fuckinh hell

hsctf (high school capture the flag)

Sounds fun
Looks fun

first hurdle: you gotta have a mail server that accepts RFC uncompliant emails
second hurdle: even when you have it the acceptation link won't work
third hurdle: its FUCKING IN PYTHON
FUCKING HELL

If this how you wanna educate your youth, the for gods sake, die

Just spent forever trying to figure out why my POST request parameter(s) weren't working. The PHP was checking for GET parameters. Fucking hell.

Be me at work, 12h nights shift, 4th day like that
Following online course on machine learning, instructor says we'll use python 3.x as the interpreter for the project, boot personal laptop and start pycharms, create the file, choose right interpreter no big deal
pip install the modules I need for the course - done, try to import them.
Doesn't work, first reboot, still not working, browsing Internet for answers, no ideas, reboot again (you never know) reload pycharms, browse Internet again, find out the modules only work on python 2.7.
Wasted 45minutes for this shit
Feels good bro.

This weather makes me wanna jump off a roof.
Fucking hell it's so depressing when you wake up and the first thing you see outside is just, grey, dark.
And then it fucking starts hailing.

Reading book about sapiens history. It turned out we are slaved by wheat. Fucking plant conquered this world using humans as a tool. Fuck You wheat then, burn in hell.

Your Thunderbird inbox file is 8GB and you complain about the speed but still, when I fucking ask you if you want me to archive for you the fucking mails, I get a "Hell no, I don't like them archived because then they are difficult to find"... go to fuck off.

Roses are red

Boost I need you

You do so much I cannot breath

You fucking need to be hacked around every time I have to compile you for a different compiler or VS version getyourshittogheter fucking hell it makes me hate you

Fucking cocksucker, I shut my macbook down at home, go to college and BAM the FUCKING THING WONT START ANYMORE
LIKE WTF IT HAS BEEN 15 MINUTES BETWEEN WORKING FINE AND NOT WORKING AT ALL FUCKING PIECE OF UTTER SHIT

Now I probably have to reinstall and all that fucking hell,

(ps its en encrypted drive installation so I can log in see the progress bar and then it shuts down)

FUCK YEAH! FUCKING HELL FUCK YEAH! IT FUCKING WORKED! THE FUCKING CODE FINALLY COMPILED PROPERLY!
What happened:
I was trying to use the Adafruit Feather HUZZA esp8266 with the AdafruitHTTPClient Library... and it didnt work... then I downgraded THE FUCKING FIRMWARE FROM 2.5.0 TO 2.4.2 AND THE BLOODY THING COMPILED!

I just learned the concept of this thing called REST API and now here's GraphQL showing up on me face. Mother fucking web development hell. BRB. KMS

Fuck the design guidelines that change every fucking day. It makes Front-End an unbearable hell. I'm seriously tired of having to code stupid shit for exceptions exceptions exceptions.

Learning AngularDart, my thoughts:
1. Fucking hell I feel like a noob + I like it
2. I still prefer Vue + Typescript tho

It's 17:50.

I've been working in my mates garden all day.

Came in to sit down at about 14:00

His pissy little voice has been droning on about pointless little issues and complaining how stupid the rest of the world is for 4 GODDAMN HOURS.

HES ACTUALLY MAKING ME WANT TO BREAK HIS FUCKING NECK.

Fucking panic!
First thing I see when I wake up today is an email from my colleague. It says we've lost a hell of a lot of user uploaded files in ALPHABETICAL ORDER. Also, it happened TUESDAY NIGHT.

This will be fun...

Bloody fucking Crystal. Lame fucking excuse for a reporting engine product.
Can’t change data source from API for a report containing List of Values at runtime.
What the actual fuck! A reporting system where I can’t change the data source.
Die in hell you Fucking blood sucking leeches. Die of malaria!

Current status of Eslint indentation rules:

Completely fucked

Settings.xml != settings.xml🥲🤦🏿🤦🏿🤦🏿

Fucking hell!

I fucking hate DLL mother fucking hell.
And fuck you Microsoft.SqlServer.BatchParser.dll
.
.
.
Kinda relief?
.
.
.
Nah.. I still got to resolve this issue.

Ik I've said this before, but I HATE FLEXBOX!

FUCKING HELL!

Ok, back to work.

New job. Pays more but is fucking boring as hell.
Team is a drag and everything is slow... This is the kind of company I was trying to get away from...

"Fauna's free plan has been adjusted from 5GB to 1GB going forward"

huh? I thought "tech was eating the world" "cloud is everything" "things are getting more efficient"

so why the hell do all these cloud providers keep DECREASING the free tier. annoying as all hell

where's all the storage and compute going? fucking crypto?

each day the 🤡🌎🎪 grows stronger

Dear Webdevs who are able to use bootstrap and CSS properly. I appreciate ur work but hell fucking shitfuck I can't get my mind about it to work. FUCK this piece of container loving table ruining and not aligneable dump

Recruiters have gone fucking mad! They are offering me a job in Brussels haha, this is at least a two hour drive away!!

Unless this job comes with a personal helicopter service, hell no!

!dev but it is a fucking rant.

Happy new years fucking 2018 already turning off great with me freezing my fucking balls off cause my heater aint fucking working. Top it off my Damn Hotter Than Hell Water Heater froze and i have no hotwater. Fuck somebody find me that son of a bitch 2018 where i can take it out im the woods and shoot that dickheaded cocksucking asshole.

Can somebody please tell me What is wrong with Microsoft and their broken piece of shit software?! (sorry to any Microsoft devs, if you read this). How the hell is it that their fucking installer and system repair features is this fucking useless? "Sorry, can't install on disk 0,cause the disk is in gpt format" NO SHIT, you were the fucking asshole who formatted it from the begining. Douchebag.

our government's work documentation is digital now. 2 hours to convince a facial recognition app that i have a face just so i can start my job. fucking hell

I want to fucking strangle my past self to death. Why the hell didn't you use typescript you dumb fuck? Your life would be way easier now.

What the hell is Radler? Tastes like fucking soda? What the hell Germany?

fucking hell, rx vega weighs like 300tons

fucking hell flutter is so tedious to use

FucKing HeLL...!! Its 3:30 am IST and i am still working on a customer issue.

Fucking hell WordPress is shit. I don't know how people use it. I had enough with it.

this -> OCD

Can't create a new SQL database on Azure on on one subscription as every region is unavailable. Everything works on my other subscription.

Fucking hell.

Fucking hell I'm turning into one of those pricks that think everyone is less competent than them, how do I go back? I guess I'm not as humble as I thought I was ._.

WTF Is wrong with Kotlin! Every fucking time I upgrade its Android Studio plugin i receive loads of errors about: Type mismatch: inferred type is FragmentActivity? but FragmentActivity was expected

for fucks sake bitch! Why the hell you keep on switching from optional to non optional on every fucking update, my commit history is full of this type of fixes -_-

What in the hell is a fucking phone manager, and why, or for what would I need something to manage MY goddamn phone?

Fucking docker swarm. Why the hell do they have to change the way it works so damn often. Find a good workthough and its not fucking valid anymore cause swarm doesnt use consul to catalog swarm nodes anymore. Well fuck thanks docker now i have to rethink my architecture cause you fuckers wanted to do something half assed.

Sad fucking thing is the change that made you do that shit in the first place doesn't work right for ssl so your damn mesh network is fucking useless for any real world uses unless people like me rig the fucking hell out off it.

Another fucking thing how the hell haven't these fucktards added a shared storage yet, come the fuck on.

What the hell is WRONG with Windows 10. Why does it need so much storage space? I get to only use 219+38.6+13.8 GiB and Windows gets to use 564 GiB of data to piggyback on data and storage space to push nonsense updates to user who do not want them. Use your own fucking servers, MS. I wish this fucking OS burns in hell.

Been put on debug duty, shit fucking SUCKS ASS.

Demotivating as hell seeing other people implementing cool features while you're doing this stupid shit trying to reproduce bugs that appear in production. Fucking hell.

My internet experience went to shit after disabling cookies. Fucking hell.