Haha sounds about right

FUCKING HELL! I JUST WANNA STAY HOME AND CODE! NO I DONT WANNA WATCH THAT SHITTY MOVIE AGAIN! NO I DONT WANNA GO DRINKING WITH YOU AND LISTEN TO YOUR LUDICROUS BRAGGING! NO I FUCKING DONT WANT TO MEET YOUR COOL FRIENDS WITH FACEBOOK PHOTOGRAPHY PAGES! NO I DONT WANT TO GET A NEW LIFE, CODE IS MY ART AND ALL I WANT IS TO STAY AND PRACTICE IT TILL MY EYES GO DRY AND WHEN THAT HAPPENS I'LL CODE IN FUCKING BRAILLE!

When someone, after explaining it for 10 FUCKING TIMES, still doesn't get that WE ARE NOT HOSTING HIS MOTHERFUCKING SERVER SO WE CAN'T FIX HIS FATHERFUCKING COCKSUCKING EMAIL ISSUES.

FUCKING HELL.

If you're going to ask for my help

... and then do the opposite of everything i say

... and then complain when things don't work

... and continue to ignore everything i say

HOW ABOUT YOU JUST FUCK OFF

Reading devRant feed is so fucking hard nowadays. Every other rant is about Windows rebooting, Google being evil, Quantum beating Chrome, M$ users being cunts and all these fanboy shits.

Fucking hell. Write some actual code and rant about some solid problems rather than being a stupid fanboy.

My last internship. When acquiring a new project and having to give an estimate the boss/sales guy always went to the programming team first to ask them what the estimate was and then communicated that back to the client(s).

Asked him why he does that because many companies don't:

Well, the programmers are going to write the software so why the hell would *I* be the one who gives the fucking estimates?

Yes that was a good boss.

I was going to be very productive today.

My current 100kbs speed is making that any command entered into an ssh session has a delay of about 10-20 seconds.

My patience is being tested at some very high level right now.

Bulma framework, thanks for existing!

Lightweight, CSS only, very fucking easy to use and understand and a beautiful!

As a backend/server/security guy, front end is hell on earth for me. I understand the basics but that's it.

This fucker makes it so simple!

"Sorry to disturb you on a sunday, but can you reset my passw …"

EAT SHIT AND DIE!

Get a mirror-image of your shitty password tattoed on your forehead, for all I care or start using the motherfucking password reset like anybody with half a brain who forgets their fucking password ten times a day, you worthless piece of shit!

FUCKING HELL! Why do we build websites for deranged imbeciles who can barely manage not to hang themselves while they're trying to tie their fucking shoes?

Fucking hell! HTTP2 is really cool!

I've never really used in in production before, just played around with it, but combined with the Phoenix framework, which is freaking fast on it's own, it's a pleasure to see all the assets just pop up instantly without any effort. And SSL/TLS is a must in order to use it, that's another plus.

Although there's been a lot of rants on Firefox Quantum, I'm going to add my experience anyways.

Just downloaded it on my laptop and netbook.

Motherfucker this thing is fast. No lag, pages load very freaking fast, consumes less ram than before and I fucking love the new interface!

Mozilla, you did a hell of a job!

FUCK HELL YEAH! I'm done with my FUCKING THESIS! I just handed it in - that filthy time eating piece of blood sucking papershit! God yes! I'm proud and relieved as fuck!

Got really sick as well! Fuck the stress! Fuck everything. I'm just gonna play Witcher 3 all day long with some nice cup of tea !

Ranted about him before but this just came to my mind again.
The fucking windows (to the max) fanboy I had to deal with for too long.

Every time I mentioned something about what programming language to use in a project he was NOT part of:
"I know it's none of my business, BUT I think you should use .net"
(All backend JavaScript and php guys).

Every time I mentioned something about what server system to use:
"I know it's none of my business but I think you should use Windows server"
(All Linux guys)

Every time I'd say something positive about Linux he'd search as long as needed to prove that that was also a windows thing (didn't even come close sometimes)

Every time I told the devs there about a windows security issue (as in "guys they found this thing, install the next update to stay safe :)" - "ahhh will do, thanks for letting know man!") he'd search as long as needed to prove that Linux also had had security issues like that.
(Okay?!? I know?!? I'm just trying to notify people so their systems stay secure and they're genuinely happy with that so STFU)

MOTHERFUCKER.

MOTHERFUCKING HELL!

Documentation. Fucking write it and fucking keep it up to date!

I just spent a whole motherfucking hour scraping together information about some goddamn React library! That's an hour of my fucking life time I'd have rather spent getting tortured than fighting through fucking ShitHub and FucktardOverflow thinking of hate, and genocide and lollipops.

And of course, like with all FUCKING JS libraries, this one is the the hottest, greatest and best of the best, better and more exciting than an extra deep and sloppy blowjob while skydiving, BUT THE DOCUMENTATION SUCKS AN ELEPHANT'S COCK THROUGH AN EXTRA TIGHT GARDEN HOSE!

To all the lying, fucking pricks who love to publish and push undocumentated crap code and hype the living, cunting fuck out of it instead of FUCKING DOCUMENTING it:

GO FUCK YOURSELF WITH A RUSTY, CULTRATED, GONORRHEA-INFECTED SHOVEL YOU ASSCRACK-SNIFFING WEASEL-RAPING PRODUCT OF A MILLENIUM OF INCEST!

A client called today because their email wasn't arriving at the receipants inbox but bouncing back with a 'poor MTA rating' error.

Checked about every blacklist I know and our server was definitely not blacklisted. Must be the receipants host which for some reason was blacklisting his specific email address.

Told the client that it wasn't a problem on our side and that he had to request a whitelist himself (we'd do it but it wasn't a specific server problem so we're not going to spend time on that).

Fair enough, he'd do that.

Calls back. "Well, the other party says that your server definitely has a poor rating, it's on your side!!"

Alright, this is getting annoying. Gave him a few blacklist checking sites links and told him to run his domain AND our server IP through it. Indeed came back completely clean.

"But the other party said it's poor rating on your side so I'd think tha........"

YEAH WHY DON'T YOU SHOVE THAT OTHER PARTY UP YOUR FUCKING ASS. I'VE SHOWN YOU PROOF THAT IT'S DEFINITELY NOT ON OUR FUCKING SIDE, EXPLAINED IT TO YOU AND SO ON. MAYBE, FOR ONE FUCKING SECOND, TAKE INTO CONSIDERATION THAT THE OTHER PARTY IS FUCKING LYING?!?!?

FUCK OFF.

I don't fucking understand this. Why the hell does every website has a autoplay video in their website?

I don't want to see your fucking video when I open your article, I am fucking trying to read something.

First on the phone this afternoon and also a crapload of tickets.
*alright let's do some tickets*
*tringgggggg*
*fair enough, phone comes first*
*half an hour later call finishes*

*alright, tickets!*
*tringggg*
*alright phone first again*
*handles call, hangs up*

*Aaand tickets!*
*Tringgggggggg*
*oh come on I need to do tickets :/*
*handles call again and closes convo*

*Aaaand now: ticke... *TRINGGGG*
*oh come on!!*
*handles call once again*

*please don't interrupt me now, I need to do those ti.... *TRINGGGG MOTHERFUCKER*
*fucking hell!*
*handles call and tries to stay calm*

*now tickets!*
*types reply, presses repl... *TRINGGGG 😈*
*OH FOR FUCKS SAKE*
*handles call once a-FUCKING-gain*

*if the phone rings now...*
*goes to the reply button again and: clic.... *TRINGGGGGG - GO FUCK YOURSELF!*

FUUUUUUUCKING FUCKING FUCK.

FUCK. TODAY WAS ANNOYING AS HELL.

Fuck Microsoft.

No, not in any relation to windows this time.

Dear Microsoft, why on earth did you put us on your spam blacklist? There haven't been any spam attacks from our side, our servers have nearly the highest 'reputation' that email servers can get, we comply to all security standards and yet you're blacklisting us.

If for some reason you think something is wrong at our side anyways, we've tried to contact you and we either get ignored or get a very late response saying that we'll get delisted again within a day/week or whatsoever.

Microsoft, please go fuck yourself.

Holy fucking hell!
Who the fuck sets up a local network with an 255.255.0.0 subnet mask and then lets the dhcp-server distribute clients onto the 192.249.x.x., 192.2.x.x and the 192.22.x.x networks AT FUCKING RANDOM???
I need to SSH onto 40 routers distributed across the entire campus and have a WORKING internet connection while doing so and you make me spin the connect-disconnect-wheel. Fucking hell dude, don't give me that "Uh, it wasn't intended for this size"-bullshit. You have about 200 active devices. And in one subnet you have space for more than 60 000. Fuck you, dumbass! OH, YOUR FUCKING LIST IS FUCKING WRONG AND YOU DON'T REMEMBER THE IP OF THE ROUTERS? OH FUCK YOU EVEN HARDER!!!
Goddamn people why does legacy maintenance always suck so much?😭😭😭

After it was revealed that the Equifax hack was even bigger yet again, the US government said something that really made me say/think something in the trend of "WHAT the actual FUCK?!"

"This data is in the hands of cyber criminals anyways".

You run the biggest mass surveillance program in the world, sucking up more than a million terabytes every hour, then at least could you PRETEND to care/take interest when the personal data of about all your citizens appears on the Internet?!

Fucking hell.

A quite severe vulnerability was found in Skype (at least for windows, not sure about other systems) allowing anyone with system access (remote or local) to replace the update files skype downloads before updating itself with malicious versions because skype doesn't check the integrity of local files. This could allow an attacker to, once gaining access to the system, 'inject' any malicious DLL into skype by placing it in the right directory with the right file name and waiting for the user to update (except with auto updates of course).

From a company like Microsoft, taking in mind that skype has hundreds of millions of users worldwide, I'd expect them to take a very serious stance on this and work on a patch as soon as possible.

What they said about this: they won't be fixing it anytime soon as it would require a quite big rewrite of skype.

This kinda shit makes me so fucking angry, especially when it comes from big ass companies 😡. Take your fucking responsibility, Microsoft.

We build a backup infrastructure at work to make sure that clients can restore their files and databases themselves when something gets fucked up.

We also have step by step tutorial on how to do this.

Every fucking day we get requests to restore backups.

Mostly used reason is "I'm a technical so I won't understand it".
With all due respect, if you don't understand this and keep asking without even trying, please don't host with us.
Because, if you did as I asked and actually read through the entire article, you would.
In case you're wondering, anytime one of us asks what part they don't understand, that question is simply ignored and they pushing for us restoring it anyways continues.

Sometimes they get angry and want to talk to someone higher up or start complaining that they're paying loads of money already and that it would just take us a second anyways.

If you would read the fucking tutorial/manual instead of trying to eat out your mother's badly shaved pussy and hopefully choke on it while you're at it, you wouldn't come asking us for it.
If you genuinely don't understand this article, feel free to ask but also provide us with cocksucking feedback.

Why do you think you have the right anyways to ask us to do it for free? We maintain the backup infrastructure which definitely isn't cheap but we do it so that you, pubic sniffing weazel, can do this shit on your fucking own.

You're entitled to ask us for help but not for asking us to restore your bullshit for free every freaking time.

Tip: give your parents some condoms. Because that way they hopefully won't reproduce again, we don't need more of you in this universe.

"Would you answer my email already, you idiot?"

Would you tell me what fucking email you're talking about or who the hell you even are, you mental cripple?

Friend: Can you teach me to code??

Me: Hell yes, bout time you came to your senses.

Friend pulls out iPad: Okay, lesson one!

Me: Did you actually just pull out an iPad? Get a fucking computer or laptop!

Here's an interesting fact: people who use four spaces for indenting JavaScript code also enjoy molesting cats and eating boogers.

Alright wikipedia, i see that you're in a crisis, but I just send 5€ your way. That should not be the fucking signal to unleash popup hell on me. Fucking 4 out of 5 pages now come with that popup. "if rveryone woukd just send $2..."

BITCH I SEND YOU 5€, STOP DEEPTHROATING ME YOUR UNGRATEFUL COCK

Windows 10!! WHAT THE FUCKING WHAT do you think you're doing?? Why am I getting a message saying admin has blocked my access to Services when I AM THE FUCKING ADMIN! And I sure as hell didn't block me!!!!!!!!

Today in a nutshell:

if(employeeJustClosedOneTicket)
{
insertTwoNewTickets();
}

Fucking hell.

Was today national 'lets not use our brains and common sense' day or something?!?

People coming with the most fucking RETARDED questions.

'ive spend hours to try and figure out why my mail isnt sending,?!'

MAYBE TRY SPELLING YOUR FUCKING OWN EMAIL ADDRESS CORRECTLY?!?!?!

Tons more of the kind of shit that you can solve yourself within three FUCKING seconds.

I'm so fucking done with today.

This is so fucking, fucking annoying.

Client (through ticket system): here's new nameservers my domain has to use, please enter them thank you!"
Me: you can easily do that yourself! *gives link to extremely fucking easy click-done tutorial*
Client: oh but I'm not technical, could you please do it anyways?

HAVE YOU EVEN FUCKING LOOKED AT THE LINK?!

THIS SHIT HAPPENS EVERY GODDAMN DAY.

I AM A FUCKING IDIOT!!!!!!
I have a setDelta(float newdelta) function that set newdelta to the old delta!
Fucking hell!
I even made a fool of myself on stack overflow! Kill me now please!

html {
design: responsive;
}

I fucking hate frontend webdeveloping... It was all nice! Vertically aligning items using flexbox etc... But then God said, "let there be cunts who use unsupported browsers!"

FUCKING HELL I HATE IT

I've put my blood, sweat and tears into this company in the past years. Worked overtime, evenings, weekends, night shifts to get shit done and helped out in sharing knowledge only to learn a new guy who's still learning has 200 bucks higher pay check than me.

I'm not even sure how to react to this.

I hate this attitude of my study (when i studied):

"it might be a good idea to teach the students how to program securely by default?"

"oh no but we just want to teach them the basics"

"so why not the secure basics by default?!"

"nah we just want them to get started and understand it, that's all. We'll get to the secure way later on"

Well, fuck you.

Yes, yes, I get it you've studied computer science when you stiil were a young dinosaur, but fuck me in the armpit, if putting a PHP tag into a WordPress post field and expecting it to render isn't the dumbest thing I've seen in fucking ten years. Tip: if it's too dangerous even for WordPress, you're definitely doing something wrong.

And you're not a computer scientist, you're a fucking tool. You shouldn't even be near a computer, unless it's a freaking pacemaker. Get a book, preferably on PHP7 and NGINX not "PHP 3 for braindamaged fuckwits" and shut the hell up, while I'm explaining how to use your fucking website, because if you fucking call and ask me later, I'm definitely gonna tell you that such a strapping young programmer like yourself should be able to figure it out on his own.

Fucking tool.

So, where was I? Ah, yeah …

✓ homemade iced tea with enough caffeine to kill a grown elephant bull
✓ Gadget's The Great Destroyer ready to roll on full volume
✓ my birds chattering and happily playing in the background
✓ perfect coding shit weather outside
✓ no fucking humans in sight
✓ Elm, CSS and a perfect Webpack setup for my latest hobby project

Ah, true bliss. So let's begin …

*door rings*

Fucking hell! Where in the flying, cunting fuck are you, nuclear war, armageddon, apocalypse? Destroy this fucking world already!

There is a special place in hell for all those fucking morons who refuse to understand that there is no plural for the word 'code' you're referring to when talking about instructions for computers and machines.

It's code, NOT codes NOR codez, it's CODE, you stupid fucking wankers!

Goddamn, how I hate you intelligence allergic fuckwits.

Dear clients.

Putting your support subject or content either in uppercase letters or telling US that your matter/ticket has 'the utmost priority' doesn't mean anything to us. You'll just have to keep in line.

WE decide the priorities. Also, calling us when we haven't looked into your very fucking high priority ticket yet for about 5 FUCKING minutes is NOT going to help YOU.

- One of the Linux Support Engineers.

"Can you make it pop more..."

A moment of silence please, for the same fucking, irritating word that every goddamn Joe, Jim and Jenny uses for describing how a site should look. What the hell is pop supposed to mean, you want an epilepsy warning I'll put some popping lights and nausea inducing Nyan cats across your screen. You want it to pop more, sure no problem...

There's a window over there, go fucking throw your PC out of it.

This happens way too FUCKING often:
Random person: Hey, can I have your number so I can text you?
Me: Yeah sure! *gives number*
*A few days later*
Person: Hey you gave me your number to message you but I can't find you on whatsapp???
Me: no indeed....?
Person: Well, then why did you give me your number?!?
Me: you asked if you could TEXT me, I don't have whatsapp.....?
Person: Ohh but I meant whatsapping.... that's like the same

THAT'S NOT THE MOTHERFUCKING SAME!!! TEXTING != WHATSAPPING YOU FUCKING COCKSUCKING MOTHERFUCKING ANNOYING PIECE OF GRRRRRRRRR

Fucking hell, 14 hours of work so far for today.

Good to have work, even better to have interesting work, but I shouldn't work that long.

Fuck it, I'll listen to some Antigama and have a Jameson or three.

My old phone gave up, and now I've got a OnePlus 5T.

Fucking hell, what an amazing phone. Everything is so snappy, fast and bright.

Who else has this phone? Any tips I might not know yet on how to make it as little 'data leaking' as possible?

After all it's a Chinese phone that reportedly 'phoned home' until OnePlus got called out on it.

No. I don't start new WordPress projects again. Never. Fuck WordPress and fuck you.

Ask me once again, and, I swear by your mom's grimy, low-hanging balls, I will fucking end you.

before programming class:
"yes easy af, imma finish this in a few minutes"

during programming class:
*types everything in 10 mins*
*compiles and runs perfectly*
"wtf this isnt supposed to happen"
*spends 30 minutes trying to find the bug*
"fucking hell, it should fucking work by now"

end of programming class:
"oh i put int instead of float, good job, my time was wasted because of one fucking word"

Nothing better on a Monday morning than oversleeping, realizing that that one server issue notification was a general notification app one and there actually have been loads of disruptions, trains are down...

If they're out of coffee at the station in fucking done with today already.

!dev related but fucking hell I need to get this out.

Could people (including friends) fucking stop to invalidate my favourite music genre?!

'Its just too hard', 'its so aggressive', 'its only boom boom boom'

Fuck you.

Always, al-fucking-ways at every party or wherever when people are allowed to put on music, whenever I'm allowed to, my music is turned off right away.

'Sorry but not everyone likes this and you're not the only one here'

I'm sorry, WHAT? I'VE LISTENED TO STYLES I REALLY FUCKING DON'T LIKE FOR FUCKING HOURS AND I'VE SWALLOWED IT ALL. THEN AT LEAST LET ME PLAY ONE FUCKING SONG ON A WHOLE FUCKING EVENING.

And nothing against metal peoples, really not but its nearly always the metal people who put their music on all evening and keep telling how awesome metal is and the second I mention my genre or out it on: 'oh but that sucks' *switches back to metal*

Go fuck yourselves. I'm swallowing this shit every fucking time but I'm getting fucking sick of this bullshit.

By the way, my favourite genre is raw hardstyle aka rawstyle.

FUCKING HELL, MICROSOFT!

4 Years ago someone told them that CSS transforms aren't working in SVGs in IE / Edge.

In 2018(!) it got FINALLY "fixed" and someone answered that this will function normally in the upcoming update.

Guess what, I now have this update.

DOESN'T SEEM LIKE IT WORKS NORMALLY!

4 FUCKING YEARS AND ALL THEY COULD DO IS THIS. IT'S NOT "NORMALLY"!

FUCK YOU PHP!!!! FUCKING HELL JUST FUCK THE HELL OFF YOU PIECE OF SHIT.
8 GOD FORSAKEN HOURS SPENT TRYING TO ZIP SOME SHITTY FUCKING FILES IN A FOLDER ON MY WEB SERVER TO HAVE THEM DOWNLOADED TO MY CLIENT COMPUTER.... 8 HOURS UNABLE TO OPEN THE DAMN FILE AND THE ISSUE WAS "echo" & "print_r()" STATEMENTS GETTING TRAPPED IN MY ZIPARCHIVE BUFFER MAKING THE ZIP FILE A GIANT PILE OF UNREADABLE SHIT.
HOW IN GODS NAME WERE THOSE FUCKERS EVEN BEING ADDED TO THE ZIP FILE.

Fucking hell. Time to sleep.

FUCK! Everything about this goddamn shit day is fucking annoying so far!

First my CPU cooler broke, then some annoying client started pestering me with fucking peanuts for hours, now fucking FileZilla is pissing me off.

I hate this piece of shit anyway, and I seldomly use it. The only thing I want is move some files to a server without having to fuck around with scp all the time, but this FUCKING BITCH keeps crashing on me and doesn't want to accept my ssh key file.

Fuck! FUCK! FUCK YOU!

FUCKING HELL, GO FUCK YOURSELF, YOU USELESS CUNT WART OF A FAILED SOFTWARE! I DON'T HAVE TIME TO SOLVE THIS KIND OF PROBLEMS NOW!

F-U-C-K-!

It's not enough that most JavaScript libraries are about as pleasant to handle as a perforated bag of jizz. Nope, their docs just have to be the equivalent of balancing said bag on your head.

No docs are more useful than those docs.

Fucking hell!

The amount of common sense questions which would require an individual to use their brain and/or a search engine for approximately a few seconds in order to gain the knowledge needed to answer it themselves was TOO FUCKING GOD DAMN HIGH TODAY.

IT CAN REALLY FUCKING PISS ME OFF SOMETIMES.

Why do people (Some devs too...) bloody hell think that devs have Hard time fixing the Semi Colon issue, we have a lot of other issues to figure out, like the Structure of Data, Code Fragmentation, API Creation, Invalid Data Handling, Injection Prevention. But no, since we are developers, we are having sleepless nights because of one fucking semicolon? FUCKING NO, it hardly takes 30 seconds to figure out that there is a missing semi-colon. Really People, stop the ; thing!

People who say something isn't working and ask us to investigate.

Alright, it's not on our side, go ask support at {differentcompany}.

*presents actual proof*

Client replies: oh but I asked the other side and they send over this proof *shows proof saying that its not on our side but very technical so the client doesn't understand* so it's definitely on your side!!!!!!

This annoys the living fucking hell out of me, FUCKING FUCK.

😡

Umidigi, kindly go fuck yourself.

When --> I <-- buy a phone, I should be the fucking one who decides if I'm allowed to install a motherfucking custom launcher.

Your phone is awesome (second full day with heavy usage == 53 percent battery) but on the launcher thing, go fuck yourself. Also go to hell. No, go fuck yourself IN hell, that's even better.

FUCKING HELL! I shouldn't have messed with my perfect Webpack setup.

I just dealt with fucking incomprehensible errors for two hours, which not even the fucking arsehole-scraping cocksucker who wrote the error messages could possibly have understood. And if he actually does, somebody should amputate his hands with a blowtorch and a rusty hacksaw. I'll gladly volunteer!

I love JavaScript, I really do, it's such a versatile, fun language – but npm, the JavaScript eco-system and the JavaScript community are fucking shit, and the latter are a bunch of worthless fucking hipster cunts. You heard me right! Choke on my dick, arseholes!

And while we're at it, fuck me with a splintered metal pole for going through this soul-piercing, ballsack-busting, hellish forlorn place called build-script optimization for two goddamn hours, just to shave 400 silly-ass milliseconds off my project's build time.

I hate myself more than I hate other people. And rest assured that's a whole fucking lot.

What a fucking shit day. I'm glad it's almost over. Seriously, this day can slurp up a bucket of donkey cum, then gargle with it until it chokes to death.

I'll succumb to my Irish friend Jameson. If anybody needs me, fuck the hell off.

Disabled fucking arrows keys in vim. Life is hell now.

I will be posting a lot more rants from now on as I am learning vim so bear with me.

I fucking hate MySQL and MariaDB!

Why the cunting sideways buzzsaw horsefuck doesn't the fucking, shit-stained, arse-licking password work WHEN I JUST FUCKING SET IT?

I'm pretty fucking sure I entered the same fucking password, because I fucking COPIED it. FUCKING HELL!

Every motherwhoring time I have to set this faulty, buggy, fucked up piece of shit database up, it get the same fucking problems, and there is never a logical reason for it. I can't be the only one who has these problems, every goddamn time! Who actually uses this piece of shit unless they absolutely fucking have to?

FUUUUUUCK!

Okay so about a year ago these FUKKING IDIOTS decides, against my recommendation, to do this quick-ugly-hack and ninja it into production.
I tell them its a FUCKING BAD idea that will blow up in a year or so...
But no, just go go go!!!!!!!

Now a year later, shit blew up badly. A total FUCKING derail. These new idiots asks me to "fix the problem", the same fucking problem I predicted and warned them about a year ago. So now i have to clean up their ducking mess because "Nobody else knows how to fix it".
What the FUCKING HELL do we pay them fuckkkers to do?!!

New idiots you ask? Yep, because 3 out of the 4 original fucktards already left the place in order to go and make some other new collegues lives fucking miserable.

FUCK YOU FUCKING MOOTHERFUUUKKKEEERRRRRSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fixed it for you

I fucking hate when I'm using a framework and I add some autogenerated HTML to a view that fucks up my carefully, if not compulsively, indented markup.

GODDAMNED! The sheer amount of time I wasted by getting it just right again, just because otherwise my fucking OCD is driving me nuts, is fucking unreal.

If you enjoy a soft mind fuck once in a while, build a multi-dimensional table head from an array of unknown depth without prior colspan or rowspan information where every group heading and first subheading are combined.

I'm pretty sure we have some tr00 1337 h4xx0rs here who will write down the code without blinking before done, but I gotta admit, it took me a while until I found a good solution.

At least this was fun and challenging, even though I feel dumber than usual now.

Yeah, make a tutorial for a technology experts for which are well-sought after, and waste everybody's time right away by doing an extra shitty job explaining what the fucking technology is all about.

Who the flying rat's glans decides to learn a framework or programming language without at least being informed about what the fuck it is or what the hell it's used for before getting knee-deep into learning it, you stupid, fucking pickle tickler!

Just get on with it! JUST GET THE FUCKING HELL ON WITH IT, ARSEHOLE!

!dev
It's one of those nights again. It's so hot that I'm constantly sweating my fucking ass off and its near impossible to ventilate here. Fucking irritated for some fucking reason and questioning all my fucking life and work decisions yet again.

I don't fucking need this right now. Have to get up in 6 hours but oh boy is this going to be a long night.

I WANT TO POKE OUT MICROSOFTS ASS WITH A FUCKING CHAINSAW. I DIDN'T EVEN DO ANYTHING AND IT KILLS MY FUCKING GRUB, WTF MICROSOFT.
EVERY TIME I BOOT MY PROPRIATERY SHITWARE SYSTEM IT FUCKS WITH MY EFIVARS AND MY EFI BOOTORDER.
So let's calm down for a minute and try to fix that issue:
Replace efivars? Nope, they get wiped.
Replace bootloader? ...nope
Replace bootx64.efi... nope, it gets restored to the M$ one.
Try to change the BCD... nope, permission denied (AS A FUCKING ADMIN)

And also I would like to mention that the event (sorry, I meant to call it "message") structure in WIN32 is a autistic fucking piece of shit that needs to die in a fucking fire. It requires.... IT'S OWN DAMN FUNCTION TO HANDLE INPUT. WTF IS THIS RETARDED FUCKING SHIT.... WHOEVER MADE lpfnWndProc IN WNDCLASS SHOULD DIE IN FUCKING HELL. WHY CAN'T I JUST FUCKING SDL_PollEvent() OR SOME SHIT LIKE THAT, WHAT THE HELL.

ALSO MinGW and VS guys: FUCK POSIX AMIRITE, LET'S MAKE YOUR PORTING EXPERIENCE HARD FOR YOU.

ALSO CygWin guys: FUCK DEBUGGERS AND MEMORY CHECK TOOLS, YOU'RE A FUCKING PUSSY IF YOU USE THEM. (I know there's gdb in the repos but it doesn't fucking work since "cygwin1.dll" makes a crash dump, which is just a fucking register dump you can't do shit with before gdb could track down the breakpoint)

ALSO CygWin: LETS MAKE PULSEAUDIO WORK WITH EVERYTHING EXCEPT YOUR AUDIO OUTPUT.

ALSO MICRO$OFT: LETS MAKE THE SUBSYSTEM APPS WORK ONLY IF YOU USED OUR STORE TO DOWNLOAD THE MULTIPLE GIGABYTE CHROOT JAIL.

Sorry guys, I saw too much retardation in the world of Windows. Not gonna use it anytime soon...

Was able to move the only appointment I had today to another day, since it's raining like hell and public transport works irregularly today.

Early weekend! Fucking awesome!

Now I can sit here at home all alone, without anybody bugging me, listen to my birds enjoying life, drink Yerba, listen to Motörhead and work on my own Elixir blog.

Haaah, this is a good day.

When you luckily come across the exact same question you have in mind posted to a forum:

User 1 - Please help! I can't solve x?
User 2 - OMG me too!
User 3 - Fucking hell....same here mate!

5 fucking weeks later...

User 1 - Hooaah! I solved it.....!

Thread closed.

People are so freaking selfish!

I swear 90% of people who apply for a dev job couldn't code to save their fucking lives.

Like wtf? You can't apply for a job as a commercial pilot, then turn up and announce you've never flown a plane before, so why is that accepted as being somewhat expected in development?

Fucking hell....

Suck a goat's grimy, filthy balls – why the fuck was I so stupid to make the linux firmware update now? This shit takes fucking long on my machine, and I was just done and ready to go.

Fuck, I'm such an idiot.

!firstRant

Can anyone relate to the fact that before you disturb your co-worker with an issue you should ATLEAST try fucking google?
Not to mention the documentation, stackoverflow, msdn, forums. Hell, once, I found the answer I needed on a freaking bakery forum.

Services/apps and their automatic general sayings. I fucking hate that.

'apping' is an abbreviation for either whatsapping someone or messaging them in general (in the Netherlands at least).
Sorry but I fucking hate WhatsApp and I'm not going to say that fucking app/apping word. But then in general it's confusing imo.

IF YOU'RE GOING TO TEXT ME, DON'T SAY YOU'RE GOING TO APP ME.

IF YOU'RE GOING TO SIGNAL ME, DON'T SAY YOU'RE GOING TO APP ME.

"but I meant that" - THEN FUCKING SAY IT.

I DON'T 'GOOGLE SOMETHING'. I FUCKING DUCKDUCKGO IT. NO, THAT'S NOT THE FUCKING SAME.

FUCKING HELL.

I'm currently trying to get an overview of a really large and data-heavy React/Redux app, and I really hate how long it takes me to learn how other people's code works.

Skimming through dozens of files like a fucking idiot, trying to get a grip on what the fuck is happening when. The curse of inherited code littered with asynchronous requests, even though it's not that bad – everything does have it's rightful place and is neatly organized into containers, reducers, filters, etc. However, there are no comments at all and the README.md is empty.

I only do it, because I enjoy React/Redux and like both the company I work for and the people there; but fucking hell I sometimes cannot deal with the self-imposed pressure at all, even though nobody seems to expect that I'm done with it rather today than tomorrow. It's a huge code base after all and others have already given up, I'm also paid really well, but still, I thought I'd be a lot faster.

Wading through the unknown code is like a blissful annoyance, if that makes any sense at all; interesting as fuck, but very hard to see through. So I'm trapped in the limbo of being pissed off about my slow progress and the totally zen feeling of being able to do what I love doing once again.

On a tiny vacation in another country. Don't have a converter plug (for the power sockets) so borrowed one.

*connects laptop to charger* (old charger which might die soon)
*nothing happens*
*slight panic*
*tries different sockets*
*nothing*
😨😲😭
"you might want to check your phone with that thing as the socket seems loose as hell"
*tries phone with charger that definitely works*
*nothing*

😰🙌

That was a fucking panic attack right there 😅

When you get a client from real MOTHERFUCKING hell.

You just really FUCKING want to say this:

Scorched earth MOTHERFUCKER. I will massacre you. Now SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LET ME DO MY JOB.
First, take a big step back and literally, FUCK YOUR OWN FACE.
I will rain down an ungodly FUCKING firestorm upon you.
You're gonna have to call the FUCKING United Nations and get a FUCKING BINDING RESOLUTION to keep me from FUCKING destroying you.
I am talking SCORCHED EARTH MOTHERFUCKER.
I will MASSACRE you.
I WILL FUCK YOU UP!

But for your own sake you keep it at this:
Yes sir/ma'am :).

Fucking hell with that naming !!! For fucks sake DONT EVER NAME THEM button1 button2 😒😒😒😒😒

FML!!

I've just renewed my frontend masters subscription, because, fucking hell, they've got some amazing courses. I hadn't taken a peek in months. So I guess I'll be watching pretty much all day and play RUINER tonight.

Ahhh, dis is de loif!

I just changed a bunch of comments, log entries, and removed some blank lines from one of my controllers. Zero functional code changes. Everything worked before; now it runs only half the code, breaks, and throws strange errors.

Fucking hell.
Screw today.

I'm losing my fucking mind right fucking here.

Setting an anti-csrf token in the index.php file ONCE. Yes, I triple trillion checked, only fucking once.

Print it to the page as test, fair enough, looks good.

Send an ajax request to the server:
AN ENTIRELY FUCKING DIFFERENT TOKEN 😡

Fucking hell.

Background: I'm not drunk yet, BUT I'M WORKING ON IT.

okay.

I just finished a second sprint on my React app. The first was to build a merchant onboarding flow. The second was to do substantial cleanup as I learned more about react/redux, and to create a "supply order" flow -- basically purchasing marketing materials and services. I finished that in a week, and I'm pretty proud. api-guy wanted it done in a day. i laughed. he probably could have, but it would have been a copy of the code in a new repo with some lines changed.

ANYWAY. it's all done and It's super pretty and works amazingly well. It has both the onboarding flow and the ordering flow, with a nice pop-out sidebar for navigation, namespaced actions, etc. Everything is pretty clean. I even added a cart to the ordering (despite everyone telling me not to) because wtf, what if someone wants to order TWO items? dumbasses. So I made that. it's sexy.

Anyway, it's all done and shiny and fancy and wonderful and I'd *love* to share screenshots if only it didn't give away where I worked. :<

... but the point of the rant!

After the first sprint, I made a copy of the repo so I could rework it and add more functionality without touching the original. (Hey! That's what a branch is for, right? Why didn't I branch it up?
well, read on)

I knew we were going to have multiple separate flows for this app: onboard, ordering, merchant tools, admin tools, support, etc. So, I wrote its server portion (the webpack builder + http server) so it would serve the same app at whatever url the user hit, and set a cookie containing that host+url. This allows the app to serve different content (basically showing/hiding content) based on the URL and future login roles. If someone hits /order, it would hide everything but the order flow. If they're a merchant, it would show all the merchant views plus ordering, etc.

tl;dr This way I can use the same codebase for multiple sites, drastically simplifying development, branding, and what have you. This new app could obv also be a drop-in replacement for the original onboarding project because of the above.

HOWEVER. this apparently isn't good enough for api-guy. He's terrified that adding/updating future components will affect all the existing content somehow.

so.

now we have three repos for basically the same codebase. 1) onboard aka "surfboard", 2) ordering, 3) merchant tools, aka "ferrari" (the "future" app).

Except.
1) "surfboard" is a very old version of the code. 3) "ferrari" is also old, since 2) "ordering" has newer content in it now.

... and somehow this is better?
fuck if i can figure out how.

His reasoning is "well, you won't be touching surfboard or ordering for 6 months, so now you don't have to worry about it." Sure, except, you know, it'll be a pain in the ass in 6 months now when I have a crapton of code and branding to redo. ffs.

Oh. We also have three Heroku pipelines for these three repos. for the same codebase.

and now you know why i'm drinking.

What fresh hell is this

.replaceAll("(//"?)([^//d]+)(//.?)([^//d]+)(//.?)([//d]{3})(//.?)([^/d]+)(//"?)","$1$2$3$4$5$6$7$8$9")

...who is fucking with me

Fucking hate these emails with a broken unsubscribe button. Rot in hell, assholes.

I want to be PROGRAMMING on the freaking privacy site already, not having to search for icons, download them in the right color/format etc.

Fucking hell. (although finding good/fitting icons is a funny challenge though :P)

No, I'll not send you a new password to your own fucking homepage and I'll also not send you the reset link again.

Why? Since you are obviously still able to talk in whole sentences, albeit loooong and pointless ones, I am pretty goddamn sure that, like everything else you're doing, whatever you're doing in order to achieve your auto-lobotomy hasn't quite succeded, yet.

But that is good news, because it also means you should still be perfectly capable to click the FUCKING reset link, enter your FUCKING email address and reset your FUCKING password all by yourself, like the allegedly grown up woman you are.

Yes, ALONE! BY YOURSELF! Without stealing my precious time that you'll probably even refuse to compensate me for again, because apparently 'resetting a password is not real work' – so why in the fucking hell don't you fucking do it yourself in the first place, you COCK-JUGGLING THUNDERCUNT!

12 - 1pm is lunch time. What the hell is it with this team and arranging meetings for this time, does nobody eat?

*Propose new time*

Justification: ... i'm fucking hungry

Dear Developers,

A. Please put your fucking functions in files with names related to the purpose of the functions.

B. Don't define your database management methods in your goddamn configuration file.

C. In addition, fucking document your shit at the top of the file if you refuse to abide by request A.

Someone is going to maintain or modify this code after you, and that person will have a hell of a time with it.

Today I slept for more than 7h. And I'm fucking proud of it.
Hell yeah!

All respect to android (love the system (no, that doesn't mean that I love google)) and also to awesome custom roms (hell even some vendors make quite good ones imo!).

BUT WHO THE FUCKING HELL THOUGHT IT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA TO LIMIT THE AMOUNT OF ALARMS YOU CAN HAVE TO 15 OR EVEN LIMIT IT AT ALL?!?
I HAVE TO GET UP AT 3:30 FOR WORK EACH NIGHT AND THIS IS *NOT* HELPING.

THE PERSON WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA CAN TAKE A PHONE, OPEN THAT DEFAULT CLOCK APP AND SHOVE IT UP HIS FUCKING ASS.

Client: hey ***, happy birthday can you help me fixing....
Me thinking: hell no, i deal with yall fuckers 364 days a fucking year and yall can't leave me the hell alone for one cocksucking day. I need this one damn day a year not dealing with yall assholes where i don't snap and drive 300 fucking miles to not drive a nail in a broomstick and drive it up your fucking asdls

Me: Anytime 9am - 12 my time suits me fine.

Him: Sure, noon our time suits us fine.

Me: *talking to myself* I said no later than 12 my time, theres a 2 hour difference. FFS, uh, I'll have to cancel this, move that around, skip that, ARGH!!! fucking hell jackass ... FINE!!!

...

Him: That calendar invite is for 4pm our time, thats a little too late for us.

Me: ...... but they are 2 ..... 2 hours ahead so ..... oh, thats 10am my time .... oh shit

C++ has become cockpit of Boeing 747
Too many controls? Yes.
Takes shitton of time to get ball rolling? Yes.
You need just bunch of them to get stuff done? Hell yes.
You still have to learn a lot of them if you plan to become professional? Yes.
You need to touch most of the fancy stuff only once in a while? Yes.
Many controls you wont be touching except once or twice in your whole career? Hell fucking yes.
You need those fancy controls when shit goes tits up? You better have them, or you are dead!
Creds: A.M.

Fucking hell!

The new Septicflesh album is amazing to listen to while programming. If you're into symphonic metal, blackened death metal and similar genres, try it.

Fucking retards. They make us submit 3 fully fledged fucking Android apps (with ALL the generated boilerplate crap), all zipped into one fucking folder which cannot exceed 10MB.

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME, YOU DUNG-EATING PREHISTORIC APE ?! ONE PROJECT ALONE IS 60 MB, HOW IN THE MOTHER-FLIPPING HELL DO YOU EXPECT ME TO FIT 3 OF THOSE INTO 10 MEASLY MEGABYTES?!
Ever heard of git you moth-eating-cactus-fucking pricks?! Time has come to learn it !!! Private repos are a thing, you cocksuckers.

May your bed be infested with bugs and your code riddled with Greek semi-colons. Fucking dimwits.

small reminder: building your own operating system means that you are forced to scan the memory by yourself...

FUCKING HELL PLEASE KILL ME NOW

I fucking hate it when I'm working and people come and ask 'What are you doing ?' .. Even if they mean well ..

I'd be happy to show them and explain the hell out about finished product though .. !

Who the fuck designed the UI of linkedIn? When I click on My Connection, I expect to see my fucking connections. Not People I may know, Not my recent invitations, no fucking bullshit. Just my connection.

They have a small fucking text (Not even a fucking button) that says "See All" in a small corner which I can click to see all my connections. Why the fuck do you a nav button on top called "My connection" then? FUCKING HELL MAN!

FUCK! agshdklgdahgisdahl;k!

I just spent 45 FUCKING MINUTES debugging try to figure out WHY THE HELL a function that is supposed to return either a pointer to a valid object OR ZERO if a valid object is not found, was RETURNING FUCKING EIGHT!

Then I saw it... I typed:
nodeList[index];
instead of:
return nodeList[index];

It took me looking at a stack trace and a disassembly of the function to realize this.

Can't wait for this three-day weekend...

Why the fuck do people have to be fucking lazy as hell? There is a dishwasher in the kitchen. Please put your fucking dirty dishes there and NOT ABOVE on the tray!
Also when you take a dump at the toilets: BE FUCKING QUIET! You sound like you are fucked from behind by a T-Rex! You can breath without making sounds!
And for christ sake: If you come into the bathroom please check the fucking signs on the locks BEFORE you try to enter! It is annoying as hell to sit there minding my own business while some douchebag tries to enter my rest room!

Dear namecheap, I honestly love your service and prices but how in the hell can I see an ip address in the dig of a new domain (url shortener) which I never put or saw there and which doesn't even belong to any server I own/operate?!

DNS cache after the last chance of three days ago, nah, don't think so.

Fucking hell.

OK, I've had enough of this bullshit!
Why the hell do some people pronounce 'Z' as 'C' !?!
FUCK THESE PEOPLE!

Now, you might ask yourself: "But how is this tech related?".
WELL... I was trying to get into a server and had someone spell the password for me; AND GUESS WHO MISSPELLED THE PASSWORD THREE FUCKING TIMES SO HE GOT LOCKED OUT OF THE FUCKING SERVER BECAUSE OF THIS SHIT!!!
FUCK . FUCK . FUCK . FUCK . FUCK!!!!!

You guys should really take a look at your YouTube history sometimes (If you use it). It's amazing how I move from one video to another.

Here is what I did yesterday:

- I watched a GOT Season 7 review
- Then for some reason, I watched Underground nuclear test
- Several HD footages of Nuclear tests
- Top 10 Demolitions gone wrong 😕
- "No Planes" in 9/11 attack 😕
- Amber Heard's Sexy Prank 😕

Fucking hell, I need to get back to work ☹️

I fucking hate when I'm trying to achieve something so complicated and abstract that I cannot put it into words without sounding cryptic, because then I can't google the solution properly, and when I post a question on StackOverflow it sounds incomprehensible as fuck.

Fucking hell! It's on the tip of my tongue, but I can't express it to save my life.

fucking hell, piss off

You motherfucking piece of shit application form...

I was filling a long form in a tab and I had another part of that form open in another tab.

They fucking logged me out of the 2nd tab and didn't notify or prevent me from filling up hundreds of fields in the 1st tab.

Now I have to fill them up again.

Fuck you and your stupid form. Die in hell you fucking stupid cunt.

I am slightly upset about this shit

I finally got Redux-Form’s `initialValues` to work! Wooooo~!

/giphy confetti cheering

It turns out I haven’t actually been doing anything wrong for the past week. I mean, I've been working on other things during that week, too, but I've been trying to solve this the entire time.

The cause? ReduxForm made a breaking change awhile ago (v5; we’re using v7) that prevents the `initialValues` prop from working if you decorate your form component in the wrong order. Many examples online are incorrect because of this.

Basically, the decorators `reduxForm` and `connect` do not commute:

Incorrect:
`reduxForm(...)( connect(..., {...})(form) )`

vs Correct:
`connect(..., {...})( reduxForm(...)(form) )`

But what really pisses me off is that the fucking documentation specifically fucking states that you may decorate your component IN ANY [FUCKING] ORDER.

/giphy that is [fucking] false

So, I've been following example after [fucking] example that either list these in the wrong order, or I just don't notice the different order because it doesn't matter. AND because of that NONE OF THE [...] EXAMPLES WORK.

ARGH.

I've been pacing around the office trying to figure this out for days. I've rewritten my code three times to try to solve this. I've written two workarounds for it only to rip them out and try again because they both broke some other part of the UX. (e.g. causing false validation errors after rerender)

just. hafhsldkjhgjkhagklwhsdjfkahslf. 😡

/giphy angry hades

You know how I discovered this?
I found it in a github ticket. One solitary, untagged ticket from October of last year. Not a single goddamn post anywhere else mentioned this. And the [...] documentation specifically [...] states the [...] opposite!

Bloody [...] hell.

but it finally works.
as;kgjhaekl;gahgjkdflssdafh.

I could scream.

I understand the fact that your website uses cookie but fucking hell it can use it to remember that I accepted 7373738594929738849393 times

I fucking hate Christmas, but in the.next few days, I'll eat perverse amounts of good food, get shitfaced, play video games with my little brother and program whatever the fuck I want. Everybody else can go to hell, and if a request isn't about a server going down, I'll ignore it.

Fuck, yeah – ten days with beer, food, metal, games and my own code.

hardest part of finding a job related to ur developing skills is that theyre asking for years of experience
fucking hell thats why im looking for a job to get more experience

Does anyone else feel Facebook is hell bent on attacking open source in order to gain a monopoly on it?

They are slowing replacing every industry standard tool with over engineered bullshit and it just gets lapped up like it's the best thing ever...EVERY SINGLE FUCKING TIME

Fuck you Facebook, i will never support you in your crusade against one of the things i hold closest to my heart.

WELL GEE, IF I KNEW WHAT MY ACCOUNT USERNAME WAS, I WOULD JUST SIGN IN YOU ASSHOLE. -.-

On top of that, they use these fucking anchent capchas that are fucking case sensitive and annoying as hell..

In their defence, I was trying to automate their website (one of those get paid to click sites) in an atempt to get some money, but still!

*phone rings*

Me: "Hello".

Caller: "Hi, I'm just going to patch you in to this conference call."

Fucking hell.

This fucking call is still going, and this asshat who should know how to do SIMPLE FUCKING COMMANDS LIKE MV AND CP is having a hell of a time and I'm about ready to throw my arm at him because I ok hurt like hell and hopefully knock some sense into his brain.

Why The Fuck do you always have to say "Yes"?

I'm asking for a goddamn opinion. Give me an opinion.
But no, everything I say must be fucking gold 'cause it's always "yes", "you're right", "good idea", "I agree".

It's irritating as hell. It's "yes" even when I say something stupid on purpose.

Learn to say no, for fuck's sake.

I got a callback for mobile app development, I told them I had only worked in Android. When I got to the actual interview, "ok, your Resume and all is fine and all, but we are actually looking for an iOS developer" I stood up and walked out. I mean what in the name of holy fucking hell were you thinking you miserable son of a bitch.

So yesterday I said to my private laptop update and shutdown...

Fast forward to this morning. Hell breaks loose. Have to fix it asap! We have downtime. But fucking windows update!!!

You fucking peace of shit should have done this yesterday. And why does it have to take so long.

Was my prev dev fucking high or what?
Who names an UPDATE Query as delete.
That shitfuck deserves a special place in hell.

What the hell is wrong with you guys taking screenshots with your goddamn phone?! Ever heard of that small magical programm called "snipping tool"? It's like fucking screenshot porn! And yes, there is a screenshot programm on Linux too. Goddammit. Are you devs or fucking newbie users?

So our university website was recently refurbished with new design. But fucking hell it's bad. Not only the whole website is full of bugs, the design choices are extremely poor.

Sometimes, when I open a course page, it opens a modal with undefined as it's title. And I have to click close button ten times to close the modal.

I can't even blame university. The guy was a former student and Uni probably trusted him. What a retard!

I wonder if the meeting at Rubber ducks quack association goes like this...
Why the hell doesn't my guy see the problem? It's fucking right there! Why don't you see it??? OMG! I request for a change of owner.

FUCKING HELL

Just spent the past week or so work on a project. Was doing final bug fixes/optimization AND GOD DAMN WOULDN'T YOU KNOW I BROKE THE WHOLE GOD DAMN PROJECT AND MY LAST COMMIT WAS LIKE 2 FUCKING DAYS AGO BECAUSE I'M A FUCKING BRAINDEAD TOASTER

FUCK

Android Studio Installation.

What is the fucking point of giving an option to install the software somewhere other than C drive when the installation fails if done so.

Fucking cunts, multi billion dollar company my ass. Go to hell you stupid fucks.

For goodness fucking sake Microsoft. Stop doing everything possible to get me to use Edge Browser.
Since building my new computer I've had edge recommended in the notification center, lock screen, start screen, emails, and now on my fucking taskbar.

Seriously what the hell is wrong with them, I DONT WANT TO USE THEIR SHITTY BROWSER. I wont use their shitty browser so stop recommending it to me. I'm already invested In Google services so stop trying to push your own on me.

Honest to God what do the higher ups at Microsoft do with their time? Sit around a table figuring out how to get people to use their default apps?

Why in hell do corporates need us to be fucking awaken early every fucking morning?

- Let's write some code to check for memory leaks
- Oh shit, memory is leaking like crazy
- In fact the program crashes within 10 minutes
*Some hours of debugging and not finding the cause later*
- Starts thinking about the worse
- Hell yeah, the memory leak is caused by the code that checks for memory leaks. But fucking how
- Finds out the leak is caused by the implementation of the std C lib
- In the fucking printf() function
- Proceeds to cry

I've just wasted 50 fucking minutes trying to extract MP3 tag information per Elixir's binary pattern matching, and wondered why the fuck it wouldn't work on on MP3s I bought on Bandcamp. I was about to run amok with a baseball bat when I found out that ID3v2.3 tag information is saved in the FIRST, not the LAST 128 bytes, and start with 'ID3', and NOT with 'TAG'.

Yeah, yeah, it makes sense, because Bandcamp MP3s should be optimized for streaming, but fucking hell, I want my 50 minutes back!

I'm such a fucking stupid, useless tool!

Being under 1000 rep on stackoverflow is elo hell. All you get are downvotes for non-duplicate, sensible and well explained questions. I think most of SO community is pretty fucking toxic towards people trying to learn programming.

Dear XCode I hope you fucking burn in hell you piece of shit! can't do anything without that shit either indexing, or freezing, or crashing!
FUCK YOU BITCH!

Holy fucking weasel's balls! Installing the dependencies of a large Node app via a crappy 6Mbit/s connection is a goddamn pain in the arse!

You fucking dense motherfucker of a professor. You mentally disabled shit-eater. You fucking perfectly know that I have been offered a very good position in a company I really wanted to work at and you fucking force me to stay and wait for the next graduation date to make me get my fucking degree. Just because you offered me a PhD position and I didn't want it.
I sincerely hope you lose all your prestige. Fucking choke with a big ass cock in your throath, eat your own vomit disgusting piece of shit. You are a fucking 60yo child. You have no respect for people work, you always want more. Get cancer fucking animal.

HOLY SHIT HANG URSELF

Worst part: being everyone else's Search Bitch. Seriously, how the hell do you have a job in the tech industry when you can't use a fucking search engine, whether it's Google, a builtin search facility or, hell, scrolling down the goddamn page?

I fucking hate Captcha. fucking hate it. It's annoying as hell. Thrice in a row, it has recognised me as a robot.

Some genius at Google Chrome team just fucked up the minimise, close buttons of the application in KDE.

Thank man, just what I needed.

CSS - Separate style from content...
Yeah... More like creating divs to make that fucking div aligned.

Straight from table hell to div hell

Waking up at 5-6am every morning with insomnia is fucking hell. I just can't anymore. I feel dead and I hate everyone I see.

!rant

So, uh.
Just came back from my vacation, only to find out that my PC is now broken.
Like, it doesn't turn on.
Great.

I cant fucking wait for the day when i dont have to do fucking frontend just give me a backend, even fucking php is fine just get me away from javascript this is hell this is torture help

Please stop pasting screenshots into Word docs and emailing them to me. What the hell is wrong with you? You are on a fucking Mac. You figured out how to grab a screen region with an obscure key combination, but you can’t figure out that you can paste them directly into Gmail, Apple Mail, or Thunderbird?

there's this club at my school, called STEM, and another called "science olympiad." both are pretty cringey, bad, or boring. science olympiad was just for the college credit. during the intro to the club, they said there was a coding section. "game on!" is what they dubbed it as, where basically you're timed to make a game in scratch. i'm fucking tired of it. why is scratch considered programming? don't get me wrong, i'll write an OS in PHP before i say code.org is better than scratch, but fuck it. its a fucking interpreted language that's interpreted by another interpreted language. i don't understand why this shit is still used. scratch isn't good. please codecademy or w3schools or just write in binary directly, but not scratch. my hand hurts from dragging and dropping, my eyes hurt from the light theme, my imaginary cat committed suicide after learning about scratch's mascot. fuck it. now onto stem club, fuck it too. not for being bad (well, kinda), but for not being more recognized. it should be above science olympiad, and other clubs because you actually have to think instead of just memorize. but alas, we still were offered the choice of scratch to program the robot. sigh. arduino much? i guess not. challenging much? nope. was i elected "leader"? with three of my friends out of the eight there, i could have been, but no. effort in this would be depressing.

Tried the CTF from MR.robot and holy crap that was fucking fun !!!
Spoiler: If you want to try it don't look down !!
//WTF hell is that I want to make it not show the down part with fucking dots and its not working have to type some stuff ahhhh.
@dfox
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Funny part was the bad configured nmap haha.
I can say that I recommend it to anybody who wanna to try it out.

Fucking hell im stupid. Why did I promise to my professor that i could make a functional web browser in 2 months...WHYYYY!! Even though i did finish the project, behind the nice interface, everything is a mess and now im here crying about it on DevRant. Hooray!!

The boss made us to set a shitty background (pattern) to the website we are working on right now but it looks ugly as hell. I tried to change his mind several times but no, he fucking loves that background.

holy fucking hell, who’s dumb ass idea was it to make Visual Studio require a god damn fucking update for the installer before I can uninstall it, you stupid ass dumb fucks MS, I didn’t just tell you uninstall it so you can go burn more data down my shitty copper pipes.

I switched mobile carriers because the website for my carrier did not work properly. Now that I’ve switched I go to log in to the website for the new carrier and it doesn’t work either. What the fucking hell people, do you only support internet explorer or something? What the damn hell is going on?

Why the hell is AutohotKey so fucking powerful.

I literally wrote a thing that edits the registry and calls a Windows DLL, which causes the cursor to change and the mouse buttons to toggle (for a friend), in just under 30 lines excluding empty lines and comments.

Fucking piece of shit windows 10!
Screw you to hell!
Disk usage : 100%
Memory usage: 60%
CPU usage: 2%

Sluggish as hell! And downloading updates without even asking! How fucking dare you!

Stuck with this shit just because of Photoshop and Illustrator.

Fucking hell. My mother's fb and possibly email was hacked. Good thing I have a major in tech support and unethical hacking. And yes I've stressed her that she should delete her FB but her work requires fb so she's gonna remove everything and make her account unrecognizable. Sorry linuxxx

Fucking lazy customer support that files bugs with "<some functionality> is not working" with no steps to reproduce or any other description of the issue, deserve to die in the same hell as it is figuring out the rest of the details.

Fucking non technical managers and their shitty clients to whom they suck their tiny weiners need to realise that I cannot reorder elements every 10 minutes to the shape of their fart comming out of their ass, test it, deploy it, trigger webhook, clear cloudflare cache, and meanwhile be sure that it's written in quality manner for future upkeep with commits that have sense.Hope deadline driven development dies in hell where it belongs

I'm an advocate of free software, debian specifically, hell my business runs on it!
But sometimes you just can't get around to use proprietry software. One of those is nvidia....

WHAT THE FUCKING MESSED UP NAGGING NARK SHIT NVIDIA!!! YOU FUCKING BREAK MY SYSTEM! YOU WONT PROPERLY COMPILE YOUR KERNEL MODULE, YOU BREAK MY X, AND ONCE I FIXED ALL THOSE THINGS MANUALLY(!) YOU HAVE THE FUCKING GUTS TO NOT EVEN DETECT MY SCREENS PROPERLY

WHAT THE FUCKING SHIT!!! NVIDIA YOU SUCK!!! MOTHERFUCKER DO I REALLY HAVE TO FALL BACK TO INTEL GRAPHICS??? FUCK YOUR FUCKING COMPANY AND ESPECIALLY YOUR LINUX SUPPORT

And no i am not planning to use ATI since they dont support EGL, what is a dependency for the gnome desktop...

When you get a call into the helpdesk:

" It doesn't work!! "

What doesn't fucking work???!!!!??? And who the hell is this anyway?

I just had my first "Group project"-experience and holy fucking shit am I about to explode right now.

I messaged you one fucking week before the project is due and ask for your input that none of you contributed to and if that was too advanced for you imbeciles to handle then HOW THE HELL ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO SURVIVE THREE MORE FUCKING YEARS IN CS. THEN YOU HAVE THE DECENCY TO RESPOND SIX FUCKING HOURS AFTER THE PROJECT IS DUE AND COMPLAIN ABOUT THE WORK.

WELL GUESS WHAT YOU FUCKING WASTE OF MOLECULES, I ALREADY TURNED IT IN AND THE ONLY REGRET I HAVE IS PUTTING YOUR FUCKING NAMES ON THE PROJECT.
I DRAGGED YOUR SORRY ASSES TO THE FINISH LINE AND THEN YOU HAVE THE COURAGE TO ASK "WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG"?

NEXT TIME AT LEAST HAVE THE COURTESY TO SPIT BEFORE YOU FUCK SOMEONE OVER

I am so pissed right now. I just subscribed to newscientist.com and paid for a subscription, it was not cheap! 21.95 quarterly....and it goes to a maintenace page!!! Don't let me sign up and pay for a fucking service and send me to a maintenance page!!! Then set new password in the email I recieved GOES TO A FUCKING MAINTENANCE PAGE!!!

I try email, it is undeliverable!!! web chat, nope....How the fuck does an organization running a paid subscription service fuck up so badly!!

If I am paying for something, you better goddamn better make sure it is right...or don't charge me!!!

I'm pissed off as fuck. By far these were the worst fucking 2 weeks in a very long time.

My grandma died. At work I had to do shitty tasks and IT support for stupid end users, like an overpayed PC technician. I couldn't find any time to write a single line of code on any of my personal projects.

And I still can't find a fucking developer job. I feel like I'm stuck in this IT hell forever.

Kill me

FUCK! The fucking previous dev on this project who set up the fucking web service that he knew would be shared among multiple platforms set it up to use an audio format that's only supported on one platform. Now I'm faced with either doing some fucking JS black magic to decode the fucking base64 audio, convert it to another audio format, and then possibly re-encode it or attempting to re-write the fucking web service and already in production app! Fucking hell!

"Can I have an app? It's a million dollar idea: you take a picture of yourself and it tells you if you're pregnant or just fat. I don't have any money at the moment but I'm willing to give you 5%, maybe less if my friend wants to join. plus, no ads, and make it a free app so it will be liked alot."

Can you shut the fuck up? do you have any idea what the fuck you're talking about? that's the most fucking ridiculous idea I've ever heard. how the hell would it even work?

OMFG!!! Internet Explorer does not support includes() wtf?? Thinking this is such a basic fucking method I did not test and pushed a feature to production just get a call from customer service....wtf!!!!!!!! This is why I hate javascript!!!! Fucking hell.....polyfill this bitch and it is fixed, but still this is such fucking bullshit....

Oh for fucks sake, I only agreed to fix one fucking problem in your shit hole of a wordpress hell, not everything your sorry excuse of a "wordpress expert" fucked up.

We need time travel asap!

<rant>
I fucking HATE the Arduino environment right now.

First of all: you can't fucking put your project files in a sub folder to the main file. I can't write #include "src/motor.hpp" because it doesn't fucking know what that means.
Turns out you have to put all your header files in the fucking library folder common for all Arduino projects!

Secondly, you can't call your cpp headers hpp, they HAVE to be called h, or the Arduino environment throws a fit and begins whining about being unable to find the fucking files.
Not just that! You can't reference other Arduino libraries from within your library because the environment doesn't know what that means either.
To get around that you need to fucking include the library in your main file, AND THEN you can include it in the library file that uses it. After all, it should be the programmer's job to soon feed a so called IDE, right?

I'M SO FUCKING DONE WITH THIS SHIT! 😤

I'm ready to either program the Arduino directly with an AVR programmer or even port the entire project to the raspberry pi where I have a proper fucking Linux environment with a proper fucking directory structure so I can code proper fucking C++.
Hell I'm even fucking willing to spend all weekend porting all the code myself if necessary.

It's not reasonable that correct fucking C++ code is invalidated because I called the files something "wrong" and put them in the "wrong" directory.
</rant>

"user friendly project board" my ass

When i interviewed, my employer told me that they were fine with me using linux at work. "No problem" they said. Today, the CTO called me into his office and told me not to bring my computer back to the office again, we're a Mac shop.

Guess I'll have to comply, but what the fucking hell?

I hate Macs so, so much.

I bought a new carbon fiber bike (I am into cycling the last two years) and it is fantastic. Lightweight, it feels responsive as hell and really easy to sprint on. BUT, I am fucking sick and I can't ride it to train... All I can do for now is looking at it. FML.

Grable its fucking bullshit and its slow as hell but ohh well i must use it for android.
And one library for sound in C was too fucking slow and complex as hell.

Fucking tutorials that simply skip thing completely.

Like how the fuck am I supposed to know how to run that that shit when you don't even mention how to build it and jump straight to the fucking debugging section.

Fucking hell, relate yourself to the people who'll read your shit, you non empathetic scum

Me: ok let's clone my repo and work on adding some legit features!
NBN: hm, I see you're trying to use the internet, I think I'll go down now!

Fucking hell -,-

Fucking gnu gettext, fucking .po and .mo files and fuck the fucking poedit. Why in the fucking hell a damn i18n solution used by so many languages doesn't support correctly fucking utf 8 characters in strings inside the code, I mean, WHAT THE FUCK, this is my second day trying to make the fucking Python gettext module to translate the fucking word "está" because I've a fucking big code base programming in Spanish that need to be translated. This is the fucking 2016 and we still have problems with fucking special characters? I mean CMMON

Constantly touching the display of my laptop, or any display for that matter.

It drives me up a fucking wall.

1. None of these devices support touch
2. You can point the thing out with your finger without touching the glass / plastic. Or just use my damn mouse.
3. Seeing the smears all over my screen is annoying as hell. I always find a new smudge and it's irritating.

Fedora broke my grub, so I tried fixing my grub. Didn't work. Also fucked over my windows bootloader.

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK mkay

Getting grub to run again might be easily done but fucking hell im never gonna get that windows booting again. (not that much of a loss tho)

know what is worst than fucking clients from hell?

fucking websites that need a mortherfucking good spec computer to run. i cannot even type properly. thought my keyboard had problem. no. I can fucking type fucking quick and well here now with no hiccup. i wish i can burn those all down.

no wonder we love devrant. even the website is fast and good.

So it turns out that the iPhone X was one of the most popular christmas gifts this year in Norway. I mean fucking hell, how is that even possible given the price?

...He hired a shit dev who did the same work in 3 times less than what I asked for.

He's now back crying to fix his Fuck up.

You ask how I know he is shit. He SSH-ed into the server. Worked directly off the production files. Worst of all, he installed phpmyadmin, changed the db structure without even writing a fucking migration !!!

How the hell am I supposed to know what he changed!! It's gonna be a long night 😥