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@ryanmhoffman only partially. More than half fell in the process. My foot is burnt, too, but not as bad.
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Grade assignments are u a teacher or something. Anyway Here's a hug
>--(+_+)--< -
Don't worry, as they said above, you saved the soup. You're a hero!
Now for the joke: My mother told my father to always be proud of his mistakes. His turned to me and said "How can I be proud of this one?" -
@Michelle but I didn't save it. It was mostly all over the floor.
And that's a terrible joke I shouldn't be laughing at but I most certainly am. Hopefully it is a joke and not true... -
@ThatDude it's ok. I don't judge weight. I got lazy after high school and gained 40 pounds.
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@ThatDude I'd love to be in shape again. But it means saying no to other things so I have time.
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Sorry I can only think of a dark joke atm:
How many dead babies does it take to change a lightbulb?
Apparently more than eight because my cellar is still dark. -
@AlexDeLarge so, I'm a natural lefty. But don't have my left hand.
I forgot that minor detail when I went to catch the soup. -
rfc716828007yOuch. Have a hug.
Can't think of anything creative right now, so here goes another lightbulb joke:
How many software developers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, because that's clearly a hardware issue. -
What do you call a blonde in a freezer?
Her parents named her Ashley, so we should call her that. She was supposed to graduate tomorrow. -
xalez19377ythat's a shame .. here's a stupid joke that makes me laugh nonetheless..
a guy went to the pharmacy and asked if they have cotton
"yes, we do" the pharmacist answers
"put it up your ass" the guy says as he leaves
next day he's back in
"got some cotton"
"err.. yes"
"put it up your ass"
same thing the next day, then the day after he's back
"got some cotton"
"NO!"
"well, get some from your ass" -
@QueenMorgana aww I hope you heal up soon sweetie! ❤️
Guy: A box of condoms, please.
Cashier: That’ll be 3,99. Do you want a bag with it?
Guy: Nah I’m OK. She’s actually quite pretty. -
And if we're going g truly tasteless on the jokes...
What did Jeffrey Dahmer do after he dumped his girlfriend?
He wiped his ass. -
Three tampons are walking down the street; super, mini and maxi. Which one stops and says hi to you first?
None cause they are all stuck up cunts.
Thank you, you've been great. Don't forget to tip your waitress. -
@QueenMorgana you just said that typing hurts and you are still typing so many responses here on devRant. That's some dedication.
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What's grosser than gross?
12 babies in a trash can
What's grosser than that?
One baby is alive at the bottom
What's grosser than that?
He's eating his way to freedom
What's grosser than that?
He's going back in for seconds -
@PonySlaystation I disagree, if there's one divided over three cans, you can still hide at least 2.66 extra dead babies per can, so that one is clearly better.
Related Rants
!dev
I'm a dumbass and caught the falling bowl of boiling cheddar broccoli soup with my residual limb, which means that my elbow is burnt and makes typing a major pain in the ass because of the damage.
I also have to grade 5 assignment groups of roughly 30 submissions and leave feedback.
Typing hurts and I regret life at the moment.
And I'm still on call for my primary job.
Please send jokes to make me feel better.
undefined
need hugs
feel like a fool
dumbass
hate life