Today I went into the 1 holer restroom right after my boss. I braced myself for the worse as the toilet seat was down. To my surprise it smelled like bubble gum. So my boss's shit doesn't stink, it smells like bubble gum.

What that hell do you have to eat to make your shit smell like bubble gum?

Poo-pourri?
Perfume?
Midori and 7up?

This whole text.. why

Probably some disease that affects glucose absorption so he’s shitting skittles

@TeachMeCode I was thinking something along those lines too

@Nanos bio anything is automatically grounds for suspicious behavior. Guess what a primary ingredient of biodiesel is? Coal.

@AleCx04 exactly, that could be a serious health issue, probably a faulty liver or pancreas. He needs a dr ASAP. Liver issues are killers

thought this was a @b2plane post

@TeachMeCode legit. I drink a lot really, my dr always reads my lab results as "liver is in excellent state" which always shocks me. I drink 3 things: beer, coffee, and water, and I drink a fuckload of water daily, I don't like soda, so that might help, but this fucker, this fucker is on something else if shit smells like bubblegum

@SidTheITGuy notice how I tagged it.

@AleCx04 I love getting drunk, been doing it for years and I haven’t seen changes either. I could drink water more often, my thirst mechanism is awful

@Demolishun seriously, you better let your boss know that rainbow smelling shit is only good if you’re a unicorn. Unless he is a unicorn then I take back. But still, this is a medical emergency, shit isn’t meant to smell like candy

@TeachMeCode I have no idea if he even shit. I just know what I experienced. I am not going to start asking HIPPA questions of other employees. He is a big boy. He knows how to put on his own pants.

@Nanos I was already anticipating in horror that your story would end with the reason for the blue and green honey being that the bees used human shit instead of flowers.

M&Ms, phew, that was a relief.

I'm aghast that no one has come up with the obvious reason...

Toilet seat was already down and he just pissed in anyway (like most of us do anyway)...

And it just so happens that was the fragrance of the day.

How come your first natural conclusion is: he shat bubblegum?

It's possible that he's skipping work, munching on bubblegum while browsing social media in the toilet stall.

He went there for a mental break from you and your colleagues.

Or maybe for something else that he doesn't want others to see, maybe a wank?

Artificial aromatized fiber. Fiber isn't digested, its only purpose is to, well, make shit more cohesive. This is the only non-harmful food item that comes out as it came in.

The other one, but not really, is certain seeds that evolved to be acid-resistant because they were dropped by birds, and plants spread that way.

Or, your boss went to the toilet for a very specific reason that time. They went there right after anal sex. And they used a bubble gum-flavored lubricant. People usually clean before having anal sex, this explains the lack of typical unpleasant smell.

Your boss just had anal sex at work.

Kiki the anal detective strikes again!

I was convinced this was a @b2plane rant

@chonky-quiche it is not but my i will spread my shit everywhere and infect everyone with my shit so u become my shit soldier and i build my shit army cz right now as you can see my shit students are pretty good at sitting and this is just the beginning

@SidTheITGuy u will all become my shitzombies

@TeachMeCode I love water, gotta remember that I live in Texas, where we get to high degree of heath index daily. Nothing makes me feel better than nice cold water.

Even on meals I drink just water. But that might be the namekian in me.

@Nanos surprisingly: no. I originally started seeing the doctor after having 2 diabetic employees and seeing what the condition does to them. It is one of my biggest fricking fears man. I do consume sugar, from natural foods that have it, and I am very low-carb intake (carb gets converted into sugars if my understanding is correctly) and I have a strict diet of protein, fiber, vegetables and fruit that my wife is forcing upon me.

@Nanos I don't know where you are, but where I am from checking for 3 things is very common: diabetes, high blood pressure, and high cholesterol. The reason? Mexican, we are prompt to get that shit because of our food and lifestyle.

Concerning what I got and what levels etc, I don't post that sh online. I just know I am far from being a diabetic. And I plan to keep it that way.