You: @b2plane
The guy she tells you not to worry about:

Today I went into the 1 holer restroom right after my boss. I braced myself for the worse as the toilet seat was down. To my surprise it smelled like bubble gum. So my boss's shit doesn't stink, it smells like bubble gum.

What that hell do you have to eat to make your shit smell like bubble gum?

Not a b2plane post.

I'm noticing a strange behavior of my body where the moment I go in the "coding zen" feeling the first time after waking up, my body wants to poop.

Previously I attributed it to me drinking tea before starting work.

But then today, I didn't drink tea. I woke up and started working right after, and still when I hit the "coding zen" feeling, my body wanted to poop.

Wtf..

So I have been setting goals for my interaction with people on devrant. I had the goal of getting someone to spray liquid out of their mouth in response to something I posted. I believe I had one person self report on this (maybe two). My next goal was getting someone to shit their pants in response to a post. I figured with @b2plane here my chances were a lot higher. As of Nov, 2024 nobody has reported on this. That goal still stands.

Maybe some new goals for this next upcoming year should be:
1. get someone to rage quit (not sure this in a good goal)
2. get someone to "dad splain" to me
3. triggered downvotes (I have had some in the past, so this is a recurring goal)
4. inspire anti-posts (some of you are natural inspirers it seems, respect)
5. actually create funny memes (maybe not possible, shitposting will continue though)

Does anyone have ideas for some good edge lording goals?

Im very very pleasantly surprised at my current job. They treat me like a God (that i am anyways). Free food free luxury hotel with spa gym and sauna. Free drinks free restaurants free trips free tickets. Free travel. I get everything and even an increased salary. I literally have nothing to complain anymore. For each time i complain i also have to admit honestly a well done for this company. I thought all of them are evil corps slaving people and treating them like shit which is why i wanted to become the shittiest darkest boss of ur nightmares. But seeing that some companies actually treat ppl with respect is new to me. Its irregular. Its odd. Almost too good to be true. it makes me reconsider to not be a nightmare boss and follow their steps instead. Only 1 Batman is enough to defeat evil instead of letting the evil infect good ppl like b2plane. Although im a shitmonster i am also like a bee; i sting only if i get stung first. The way how i get treated is exactly how i will treat others

Devrant Drunk Quiz - 3 - 5 points

What do aviophile and Alexander and b2plane and SidTheItGuy have in common?

Is it…

A) They are holocaust deniers
A) They sleep and kiss on anime pillows
A) They are active members of the Westboro Baptist Church

Or…

A) They suck each other off in the bar stall but condom on so not gay

Dad: Yo b2plane!!!!!🤬🤬😡😡😡🤬🤬🤬

B2plane: what

Dad: i just went to toilet and i saw ur shit floating in it. Why dont u flush the toilet!?!?🤬🤬

B2plane: i did

Dad: then flush it again! Look how huge ur shit is! U always shit and never flush the toilet. Stop letting shjt float around💩💩💩

Shit thing is i always fucking flush the toilet after shitting but my shit is way too big and fat that not even toilet can flush it! And nobody believes me, everyone thinks i just shit and dont flush like im a barbarian!

If i become borderline rich, and rich for me is even 50k$, I b2plane promise to not post 1 shit post anymore ever (as long as in still borderline rich)

To speed up this process each of u can donate me 1$

Tinder is not the same as it was 4 years ago. Wtf is this bullshit. I see some girl who looks hot then before swiping right i open the bio and it says TRANS 🏳️‍⚧️

Fjcm off

F7cking MENTALLY ILL handicapped♿️♿️♿️ Sick Fucking motherfuxkers

Why is this even a thing

I never knew trannies exist in my country

I thought we were not like america

This plague seems to be spreading everywhere now

Whoever legalized transgender stuff should get the worst possible execution and torture as a death sentence

Aside from this bullshit i cant fucking tell if im being catfished, chatting with an AI bot, or wasting my fucking time on some other possible fucking way--because who the fuck says they want to meet me, text me on my personal number, and 1 day later block me, unmatch me and never reply again for absolutely NO reason????

Fucking whores

But

It is expected, and from my personal experience years ago, that tinder is used only by mentally challenged people

That sounds ironic but let me cook

I dont use tinder out of boredom or to troll, i delete it as soon as i find someone. The app is cancer. I dont need it unless i need to find someone else, fast and easy. Tinder saves time to find someone and easier to break the ice especially for an introvert like me. While you got some people who literally use tinder out of fun! Several of them told me they're not looking to get fucked or find a bf, they just use tinder for fun. What the fuck are you then looking on tinder? To find someone to go to the church and pray to God??

Smh

I even experimented. I split my personalities in 2:
- 1 being a rude fuckboy douchebag who directly asks them to give me pussy
- 1 being a normal guy asking them out for a drink and talk

Can you guess the results?

Of course the fucking douchebag type of personality got more pussy! I got replies by being a fuckboy, even their phone numbers, 4+ of them in just 1 day, while the "take you out for a drink" guy got ghosted, no fucking pussy, slow replies and unmatches!

Of course the fuckboy personality also got backlash, some of them unmatched me but lots of them didnt. While the "coffee guy" got nothing.

Fuckboy got at least 70% success rate
Coffee guy got 0% success rate

And both are the same person, me, b2plane

That's tinder in 1 paragraph summarized