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How on Earth has PHP became successful? That language is as terrible as Satan's balls

Comments
  • 12
    Facebook, Wikipédia, Flickr, WordPress... ?
  • 3
    @Wesley you forgot Satan balls too :P
  • 31
    Because a language is only as good as the developer using it.
  • 0
    What @Wesley said, plus it being maybe a bit too flexible and permissive.
  • 10
    @ChappIO I'm a bad developer and can still do great things with Java. PHP brings the worst out of me the amount of mental gymnastics I had to do is unbearable.

    But hey, at least you get more $$$ with PHP. Not real money, though. Just variables.

    Fuck web programming in general. Fuck PHP in particular.
  • 5
    @Alice I like living in the stone age. My Intel dual coal processor is serving me well.
  • 4
    @CarpeDemon lol, i just read your profile. Trolls I believe we call those
  • 14
    PHP is a great language, unfortunately it won’t hold your hand and tell you every step of the way your doing something wrong, unfortunately some people need to be held by the hand like a child and told what not to do all the time.

    Seriously how is “$” a bad thing compared to “var / let” ect?

    PHP SHOULD NOT be a first language though,
    But since it is, it becomes hated due to the convoluted pigsty developers create when they don’t write good clean and useful codeπŸ˜”

    Java, C#, and others won’t even let you build unless it’s “perfect”.
  • 0
    @CarpeDemon yes, my core 2 duo is serving me well too, the stone age were the best, now because of the latest war between processors, the companies don't care of your house goes on fire because of the cpu temps
  • 5
    @C0D4 I just don't like very weakly typed languages. Makes things a total pain to debug.

    Most of the time it's not the language that holds your hand. It's the IDE.

    Compile time errors are a godsend tbh. I will not be ranting about those.
  • 2
    @sam9669
    Heaters cost money, core 2 duos heat for free, and are great for winter.
  • 1
    @C0D4 so its a win-win I guess
  • 3
    What's so terrible about it? I don't mind Satan's balls...

    PHP tho... It's garbage.
  • 2
    Initally read it as Santa's balls

    How did you gain such intimate knowledge of Satan's balls?
  • 2
    @C0D4 on its own, the $ isn't actually bad necessarily... But it is absolutely not necessary, and it's taken (as I understand it) from Perl, where it does have meaning. Really that's a microcosmic example of what's really wrong with PHP: it didn't have a design of its own, just a bunch of badly stolen ideas with no regard to what they might mean when removed from the original context. Like the inheritance semantics: syntax directly from Java but without the context of the rest of the language they don't make a huge amount of sense.
  • 4
    I like PHP.
    Haters gonna hate.
  • 1
    Welcome to devrant
  • 2
    @CarpeDemon since PHP 7 you can use it as a strongly typed language and it is even encouraged, as code can be precompilled and thus executed faster. On the other hand you can still write messy spaghetti code mixed with html all in one file though. So with PHP it really depends ln the dev using it IMO
  • 3
    @Wack Still don't have the luxury to code in PHP7. Where I work, we still use 5 and really can't move away from it for now.

    Then again, web prog doesn't really sit well with me.
  • 1
    I had my worst nightmares with PHP.

    For example fixing 10k lines of code of our intern (aka delete everything and begin from scratch because this cancerous code should not be allowed to be patched).
  • 1
    PHP is great. It can do about everything you need for the web.
  • 6
    Haters gonna hate.

    You can write shitty code in every language. I can show you thousands of github repos with spaghetti c/c++/c#/java code.

    I just fucking hate these childish rants where someone blames one language because he doesn't really understands the language/ecosystem or saw some spaghetti code. It reminds me of the "Apple vs Android" or "Windows vs Linux" stuff.
  • 0
    Lesson 1: Languages can be too good to be popular.
    Ask Concurrent ML or ATS about this phenomenon.
  • 1
    @Zaphod65
    You’re right, the $ was from Perl.

    As for PHP being a rip of other languages, you’re not wrong it’s was a C/ Perl hacky wack, but at the same time It wasn’t intended (at first) to do much more then then to interpret forms I believe.

    I think it’s come a long way from a basic hack job of cgi scripts to the language it is today.

    The biggest fault of PHP is that it wasn’t a planned language, and that it’s always tried to retain backwards compatibility with its poorly named and thought out functions.
  • 1
    Speaking as someone who has only had bad experiences with PHP, it isn't always the language's fault but it does promote a behavior of bad practices.

    Mixing HTML in with PHP until your face is numb. If you treat PHP as a server only language, think like a web API app, then it becomes a much better experience.
  • 0
    Sources other than 'i tried doing this but could not, so the language sucks'?
  • 1
    What have you got against Satan's balls?!
  • 6
    @mrbig00 I came here to rant and vent out. I know you can write shitty code in any language out there. Just a matter of how easy it is to fuck up in one language than the others.

    Childish, yes. But it's a rant, nevertheless. I'm starting to think I came to the wrong place.

    I am, not in any way, intending to be sensible about this topic. I'm just frustrated with how ballsy that joke of a language is.

    Don't be offended if I talk shit about the language you use. I'm talking about the language itself, not the developers. Nothing is personal. Again, we're in fucking devRants. I'm supposed to rant about frustrating things.
  • 0
    @CarpeDemon oh don't worry it's the right place. People just tend to get emotional about "their" language :P
  • 0
    @CarpeDemon tell me when you've worked with PHP without error messages
  • 0
    @CarpeDemon Sorry, I was a bit frustrated with some workplace shit at the time of writing your reply.

    And yeah I agree, PHP can be very frustrating and a shitty language. And this is by design, because it was never intended to do more than render some blog. But it's evolving, which is a nice thing.

    To be honest I also hate this language sometimes :).

    And sorry because I was rude or something, but I can't stand comparisons like Windows vs Linux or Php vs Java etc. Because most of the time it's useless. You have to use the right tool for the right job. For example I don't really like linux os-es (for so many reasons) but I have to admit that it's super useful for my daily job.

    So, have a good day guys :)
  • 1
    @mrbig00
    I completely agree it depends on who what where you want to use x tool. And who wrote it, and you own knowledge.

    I make one exception though.
    I'll make a USA styled cheer for it.
    Get out you pitchforks and signs LET'S MARCH.

    Hey hey! Ho ho! Microsoft has got to go!
  • 0
    @CarpeDemon
    Welcome
    You're in the right place.
    Unless... You choose spaces over tabs, then we gonna have problems.
    😜
  • 2
    @Triskelion Yeah. I think we have a problem.

    Spaces all the way, bitches.
  • 2
    @mrbig00 Yeah comparisons are stupid. But it's fun to watch both religious sides slug at each other. Lovely.
  • 1
    Satan balls is feeding me and my company. 666 is life. 😳
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