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JsonBoa30131yWe translated it into bulshitish, framed as some sort of "intrapreneurship seminar".
Surprisingly enough that sufficed for four of our devs dive deep into devOps for a week.
In (Tech-savyy) English:
"We want four of our devs to work on this cloud DevOps pipeline for a week. Ok?"
In Bullshitish:
"We want to accelerate four of our rising stars by investing in this intrapreneurship seminar, sharp-focused in leveraging AI and industry 4.0 innovations to galvanize internal value delivery. Do we as an institution embrace this growth opportunity?" -
ars140741yI just don’t ask them about time for tech stuff. I put it under maintenance or some other jargon filled shit they can’t understand. Otherwise we’d be coding VB6 and using MS Access as our DB.
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People don't like other people solving their problems.
Ask your manager what they want. It'll likely down to looking good by delivering something to someone above them. Tell them you can help and give them cool graphs in Excel. -
JsonBoa30131y@jestdotty I wish I could not code switch so easily into suitspeak.
When I close my eyes I can still hear the whistles of the bullshit shells flying, and the smelly nonsense of their ordinance detonating... PTSD from my tours of the front lines of the war on productivity.
The enemy brought their KPIs and Agile and jargon and countless landmeetings... We had only our cunning and wit.
I got a WFH discharge when the flu got to our lines in '20, but now the enemy deploys RTO mandates... I dread going back into the open office trenches, but if the threat is real one should make reacquaintance with the wartime ways... of speaking nonsense to survive. -
@JsonBoa I’m going to do an intense study on the bullshitish language and methodology from now on - thank you
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Well, make your point in by doing catastrophic failure workshops. These are great eye openers for a lot of people.
Many systems or sub-systems are not well designed and indicate huge losses (financial and sleep) if they suddenly vanishes.
Related Rants
TL;DR: I hate how management doesn't listen to devs (even Dev managers).
We need to sort out our release process where I'm at. It takes a Dev about 2 solid days to complete and it's hideously involved and ripe for human error. They're completely out of action until it's done and it happens once a week!
It's stopping us releasing business critical bug fixes and features that need to go out. Instead the work just sits in develop for days doing fuck all.
Can't be agile if it takes so long to deliver value 🙃
Plus makes any fuck ups by our department look worse as it takes an age until it's fixed which reduces their collective trust in us and our opinions.
Making any improvements we want to make harder todo as they're harder to convince 🙃
Has anyone had any success getting automated releases?
How did you convince management to prioritise it?
I need to convince someone who has some influence in my company and ask how they got that influence
rant
uphill battle
tired