Poorly explain what
you do for a living.

I write and rearrange text in meaningful and useful ways while swearing a lot.

@Demolishun lol that's basically what I say to people when people say "your job is interesting"

then I go "really? I just type stuff"

I translate the scattered thoughts of anti-intellectual knuckle draggers into logical, deterministic, and efficient impulses of electricity. These impulses dazzle with a light show another group of unappreciative knuckle dragger plebes.

I work with stones engraved with magic runes that allow the stones to think. My job is to persuade these stones to do math as quickly as possible. Sometimes the math is correct.

I used to read other people's email

I figure out complicated problems, and then solve them by adding more complications.
rinse.
repeat.

Think insanely about what buttons to press in which order and then press said buttons for some reason

Mash buttons

@jestdotty @iiii

You two are both cats writing regex.

Computer plumber (data engineer)
Most data is shit, anyway.

Professional tippy tapper ⌨️

I fix other people’s fuckups. Occasionally I get to type on a keyboard.

I also get told I don’t fuck up enough.

https://devrant.com/rants/5801969/...
https://devrant.com/rants/5440005/...

I copy stuff done by others to create something slightly different. I need to know well what was done before me because only then I can benefit from the smart people who did things before me. And avoid what the dumb people before me did.

@MammaNeedHummus tipsy tippy tapper?

@electrineer so since this dude is copying rants the correct answer should have been:

"your mom"

Your mom, sometimes your grandma, and other times your sister.

i write reports with the sole purpose of annoying people.

I rearrange bits on some machine in Ohio that doesn't even really exist so that my company can ship poor quality shit from China to US

i arrange ones and zeroes in a specific way so they arrange other ones and zeroes in a specific way.

I take paychecks from my employer for a living. Oh, and some computer stuff sometimes

@Demolishun I'm going with this

I install and set up lots of computers.

Work with various forms of sand built objects.

Men

Reading logs

Complain

@retoor

🤣