Project manager: We have 13weeks for this project. We have promised the client.

Me: okay, why wasnt I consulted on that commitment?

Project Manager: yeah.... we have to do it

Me: okay, if we have 2 dedicated backend and one full time frontend - ONLY on this project.

Project manager: (with the face of lies) yes yes sure we can do that.

6 weeks later, after continuous interruptions. Frontend is behind because he was only on the project to an amount of 2 weeks of the 6 weeks.

Project manager: Are we still on time?

Me: *looks around for prank cameras* no the f#*k we not

Project manager: can we put in weekends?

Me: its 2019 bro, that ain't happening

*But because I am a nice guy, and dont like taking Ls, we will have it ready. Just not gonna tell the project manager, he deserves a few sleepless nights *

Once one of my coworkers tried to prank me while i was afk and changed a line in my code.
Good old habits of mine instantly realized the file's unsaved status and i could ctrl+z without even knowing someone edited my code.

Don't mess with a developer. We know our shit.