- WE NEED TO KNOW THE VERSION OF THE SYSTEM THIS INSTANT!
"what? version? wtf are you talking about"
- THE CLIENT HAS I.T. GUIDELINES TO STRICT CONTROL THE VERSION OF EACH SOFTWARE VENDOR'S SYSTEMS!
"We are not a 'software vendor', we provide them consulting on logistics!"
- THEY USE OUR WEBSITE! THIS MAKES US A SOFTWARE VENDOR!
"Wouldn't that make 'google' their vendor too?"
- IM SURE THEY STRICTLY CONTROL GOOGLE'S VERSION TOO!
"I'm pretty sure they don't. But, whatever, that do answers the question of what they want. Some paperwork jockey wants a meaningless number to fill a form, let's give'em one"

I just had someone make an API endpoint where they can ask "the version", and it is just the number of commits in our production branch. For lols, we even 0-fill and split every three magnitude orders with a dot, so we're in version 0.012.345 or something.
Major version upgrade every million commits!

Fuck those guideline-parrots who are unaware that words sometimes have meaning, and sometimes not.

I pray that no one ever has to look at the commit message on my solo projects.

I've been working on this work project alone for over a year. It's mature, it's standardized, it has documented conventions for code style, documentation, commit messages, etc.

A team member contributed recently, but used a different commit message format. No biggie, I asked him to be consistent with the older messages from now on, he complied. For a while, until he got it wrong in a different way. This repeated several times. I was finally annoyed enough to set up a push filter on the repo to enforce the correct format.

One day, he complained in front of the entire team that he was forced to follow a standard on my project. That was terrible somehow, because no other project had an enforced standard. He makes a big deal out of getting rejected by a regex.

The commit message convention in question? English, simple past. "Fixed X", "Implemented Y" etc. So traumatizing, I know. How can you get something that simple wrong? By using your native language instead of English, English but imperative form, meaningless "wip" or "fix" or even "more fix" messages. Is this laziness? I think so.

It gets better. He tried to convince the team to agree on a single standard for all projects, so that "rejected pushes never happen again". The standard he advocated for: Conventional commits. The one with structured prefixes for type, scope, a breaking change indicator and some optional components.

But a simple English sentence was too much to ask for. People, sometimes.