It's a merge conflict

I just did git branch in someone's repo and got this ..

master
master_backup
master_bckp
master1
master_aug17

I'm armed and ready .. !!
😐😑😐😱😩😡

Here's my piece of advice for new devs out there:

1 - Pick one language to learn first and stick with it, untill you grasp some solid fundamentals. (Variables, functions, classes, namespaces, scope, at least)

2 - Pick an IDE, and stick with it for now. Don't worry about tools yet. Comment everything you're coding. The important thing is to comment why you wrote it, and not what it does. Research git and start using version control, even when coding by yourself alone.

3 - Practice, pratice and pratice. If you got stuck, try reading the language docs first and see if you can figure it out yourself. If all else fails, then go to google and stackoverflow. Avoid copying the solution, type it all and try to understand it.

4 - After you feel you need to go to the next level, research best practices first, and start to apply them to your code. Try to make it modular as it grows. Then learn about tools, preprocessors and frameworks.

5 - Always keep studying. Never give up. We all feel that we have no idea of what we are doing sometimes. That's normal. You will understand eventually. ALWAYS KEEP STUDYING.

Tried to install an existing web dev project in Windows 10:
- Install Atom IDE and trying to clone git repo
- Git missing, installing Git for Windows
- Installing Node (so far so good!)
- npm install
- Python missing (???), installing Python
- Ruby (????????) missing, installing Ruby
- .NET Libraries missing, installing .NET 4.0 for the 100th time
- Visual Studio Libraries for C++ 2008 missing (now you're just messing with me mate), installing 4GB of Visual Studio Libraries
- [drumroll sound]
- .....
- npm install breaks with fatal error
- Git for Windows can't be found anymore

Switched to Ubuntu out of frustration:
- Installing Atom IDE
- Installing NodeJS
- Cloning git repo
- npm install
- project is running

whut?

An intern I was supposed to lead (as an intern) and work with. Which sounded kinda crazy to me, but also fun so I rolled with it. But when I met her I quickly found out she didn't even have a coding editor installed and when I advised one she was "scared of virusses". She had Microsoft Edge in her toolbar, and some picture of a cat as a background. We were given some project by our boss, and a freelance programmer helped us set it up on Trello. Great, lets start! Oke maybe first some R&D, she had to reaeach how to use the Twilio API. After catching her on WhatsApp a few times I realised this wasnt gonna go anywere. After a few weeks of coding and posting a initial project to git I asked her if she could show me the code of the API she made so far..

She told me she was using the quickstart guide (the last 3 FUCKING weeks) which contained some test project with specific use cases.

The one that I did 3 weeks ago that same fucking morning.

AND SHE WAS STILL NOT DONE...

A few days later I asked her about the progress (strangly, I wasn't allowed ti give her another task bcs the freelanc already did) and guess what... She got fking pissed at me

Her: "I will come to you when im done, ok?"
Me: "I just want to see how it is going so far and if you are running into any problems!"
Her: "I dont want to show you right now"

She then goes to my fucking boss to tell him I am bothering her.

And omg... Please dear god please kill me now...

Instead of him saying the she probably didn't do shit. He says to me that the girl thinks im looking down on her and she needs a stress free environment to work in. She will show me when its done. ITS A FUCKING QUICKSTART GUIDE YOU DUMB BITCH.

He then procceeded to whine to me about the email template (another project I do at the same time) which didn't look perfect in all of his clients.

Dont they understand that I am not a frontend developer? Can you stop please? I know nothing about email templates, I told you this!!!

Really... the whole fucking internship the only thing the girl did was ask people if they want more tea. Then she starts cleaning the windows, talk to people for an hour, or clean everyone's dask.

all this while I already made 50% of the fucking product and she just finished the quickstart tutorial 😭. Truly 2 months wasted, and the worse thing is I didn't get any apprication. They constantly blamed me and whined at me. Sometimes for being 3 minutes late, the other for smoking too much, or because I drink to much coffee, or that I dont eat healthy. They even forced me to play Ping Pong. While im just trying to do my job. One of the worst things they got mad at me for if when my laptop got hacked bcs it was infected with some virus. He had remote access and bought 5 iPhones 6's with my paypal while I was on break. I had to go home and quickly reset all my passwords and make sure the iPhones wouldnt get delivered. strange this was, this laptop I only used at the company. So it must have been software I had to download there. Probably phpstorm (torrent). Bcs nobody would give me a license. And the freelancer said I * have to *.

the monday after I still had to reinstall windows so I called them and said I would be late. when I came they were so disrepectfull and didn't understand anything. It went a little like this:

Boss: why u late?
Me: had to reinstall my laptop, sorry.
Boss: why didnt you do this in your own time?
Me: well, I didn't have any time.
Boss: cant you do this in the weekend or something? Because now we have to pay you several hours bcs you downloaded something at home.

Me: I am only using this laptop for work so thats not possible.

Boss: how can that even be possible? You are not doing anything at home with your laptop? Is that why you never do anything at home?

Me: uhm, I have desktop computer you know. Its much faster. And I also need to rest sometimes. Areeb (freelancer) told me to torrent the software. He gave me the link. 2 days later this happends

Boss: Ahh okeee I see.. Well dont let it happen again.

After that nobody at the compamy trusted me with anything computer related. Yes it was my own fault I downloaded a virus but it can happen to anyone. After that I never used Windows again btw, also no more auto login apps.

I’m surrounded by idiots.

I’m continually reminded of that fact, but today I found something that really drives that point home.

Gather ‘round, everybody, it’s story time!

While working on a slow query ticket, I perused the code, finding several causes, and decided to run git blame on the files to see what dummy authored the mental diarrhea currently befouling my screen. As it turns out, the entire feature was written by mister legendary Apple golden boy “Finder’s Keeper” dev himself.

To give you the full scope of this mess, let me start at the frontend and work my way backward.

He wrote a javascript method that tracks whatever row was/is under the mouse in a table and dynamically removes/adds a “.row_selected” class on it. At least the js uses events (jQuery…) instead of a `setTimeout()` so it could be worse. But still, has he never heard of :hover? The function literally does nothing else, and the `selectedRow` var he stores the element reference in isn’t used elsewhere.

This function allows the user to better see the rows in the API Calls table, for which there is a also search feature — the very thing I’m tasked with fixing.

It’s worth noting that above the search feature are two inputs for a date range, with some helpful links like “last week” and “last month” … and “All”. It’s also worth noting that this table is for displaying search results of all the API requests and their responses for a given merchant… this table is enormous.

This search field for this table queries the backend on every character the user types. There’s no debouncing, no submit event, etc., so it triggers on every keystroke. The actual request runs through a layer of abstraction to parse out and log the user-entered date range, figure out where the request came from, and to map out some column names or add additional ones. It also does some hard to follow (and amazingly not injectable) orm condition building. It’s a mess of functional ugly.

The important columns in the table this query ultimately searches are not indexed, despite it only looking for “create_order” records — the largest of twenty-some types in the table. It also uses partial text matching (again: on. every. single. keystroke.) across two varchar(255)s that only ever hold <16 chars — and of which users only ever care about one at a time. After all of this, it filters the results based on some uncommented regexes, and worst of all: instead of fetching only one page’s worth of results like you’d expect, it fetches all of them at once and then discards what isn’t included by the paginator. So not only is this a guaranteed full table scan with partial text matching for every query (over millions to hundreds of millions of records), it’s that same full table scan for every single keystroke while the user types, and all but 25 records (user-selectable) get discarded — and then requeried when the user looks at the next page of results.

What the bloody fucking hell? I’d swear this idiot is an intern, but his code does (amazingly) actually work.

No wonder this search field nearly crashed one of the servers when someone actually tried using it.

Asdfajsdfk.

I have spent 20 minutes explaining to a contractor how to stage a file in git and what a filepath is.

It's moments like this where I stop worrying about my job security

Management:

"We're gonna make our own builder that sets up pre configured files.

So we are gonna get rid again of GIT, because with our system you shouldnt be working over each others files if you keep out of other peoples files."

So they basically are saying, we are going back to no version control because you should all keep to the honor system because our system is better.

I'm fucking leaving...
And possibly leaving a poison pill to boot

Asked junior to clone a git repo

junior: tried everything it doesn't work

me: show me how you did it

junior: right clicked on the repository, 'Copy link address' then paste it into the terminal

me: put that mouse down right now!

So this guy is supposed to do the frontend.
I do the backend.
I offer an endpoint.
He does his HTML+CSS magic.
Me: Cool but data is hardcoded. Could you get the data from the endpoint I sent you?
Him: "I'd prefer you do that, I can make a git repo so you download the front."

... So you don't do frontend, you just write pretty layouts. And I have to actually write the frontend logic? Go f yourself.

Based loosely on the popular "git" command, I am happy to announce my new product, "hit"!

Essentially, hit hooks into "git blame" and automatically slaps the shit out of whoever wrote this garbage.

It uses SOHTTP (Slap Over HTTP) to deliver a nice firm wallop to any subpar script kiddie that had the audacity to come up with this bullshit.

Careful, the user is not immune to the effects

Running a script to do some checks on a list of Git repos.

One repo is taking ages to clone.

Take a look at the repo…

A 8 FUCKING GB VAGRANT DISK IMAGE IN IT.

I was only seventeen back then and I was a Java Developer Intern, not knowing much about enterprise oriented coding.

The project leader in our dev team saw a lot of potential and passion in my work, but was convinced I wasn't taught enough to do the right thing.

I was mainly doing shitty mappers and services back then, which were somewhat used but never lasted long and were ditched a few months later, which always bummed me out. I wanted to make an impact on REAL projects that would deploy into production.

So Mister Mentor (GDPR forbid to use the actual name), who was always first to come and last to leave the office, taught me what it means to code for real.

We stayed after 5pm until 7-8pm multiple times a week and he taught me in a deeply understanding and calm way how to:
- Git (SVN)
- Refactor
- SOA
- Annotate
- Deploy
- Unit Test

And most importantly:
- How to debug like an absolute BOSS
(We even debugged native Java Libraries just for fun to see if we could break them)

Fast-forward a month later and little intern me made his first commit on production.

Without Mister Mentor, I wouldn't be half as good of a developer as I am today.

Just scored my personal red flag bingo in new project:
- engineers who work there for 20+ years
- their own in house build tool
- "we have Jira so it means we are agile"
- "we have Jenkins so it means we do Ci/cd"
- git adoption is "in progress"

My graduation project partner was strange person

Favorite IDE is VIM

Forget how to use git

But somehow she could code most of the app

I asked what does she do when mistake happens, she answered "delete and write again"

I suggest github but she is "to embarrassed to show her code on internet"

She send .zip file of her code to me

Go to univ library to copy some code because she don't believe random code on internet

Of course verson of code on book in library is too old, but she prefer fix herself

But she is overall good person, so I can graduate next month

I deployed my first Kubernetes cluster today, just wanted to share a win! 💪

No one uses Git, nor any code hosting service, but I'm the Junior.

Yeah okay, fuck you and your fucking siloes.

I won't tolerate lack of version control anymore, I'll be looking for the next "professional opportunity".

What an absolute fucking disaster of a day. Strap in, folks; it's time for a bumpy ride!

I got a whole hour of work done today. The first hour of my morning because I went to work a bit early. Then people started complaining about Jenkins jobs failing on that one Jenkins server our team has been wanting to decom for two years but management won't let us force people to move to new servers. It's a single server with over four thousand projects, some of which run massive data processing jobs that last DAYS. The server was originally set up by people who have since quit, of course, and left it behind for my team to adopt with zero documentation.

Anyway, the 500GB disk is 100% full. The memory (all 64GB of it) is fully consumed by stuck jobs. We can't track down large old files to delete because du chokes on the workspace folder with thousands of subfolders with no Ram to spare. We decide to basically take a hacksaw to it, deleting the workspace for every job not currently in progress. This of course fucked up some really poorly-designed pipelines that relied on workspaces persisting between jobs, so we had to deal with complaints about that as well.

So we get the Jenkins server up and running again just in time for AWS to have a major incident affecting EC2 instance provisioning in our primary region. People keep bugging me to fix it, I keep telling them that it's Amazon's problem to solve, they wait a few minutes and ask me to fix it again. Emails flying back and forth until that was done.

Lunch time already. But the fun isn't over yet!

I get back to my desk to find out that new hires or people who got new Mac laptops recently can't even install our toolchain, because management has started handing out M1 Macs without telling us and all our tools are compiled solely for x86_64. That took some troubleshooting to even figure out what the problem was because the only error people got from homebrew was that the formula was empty when it clearly wasn't.

After figuring out that problem (but not fully solving it yet), one team starts complaining to us about a Github problem because we manage the github org. Except it's not a github problem and I already knew this because they are a Problem Team that uses some technical authoring software with Git integration but they only have even the barest understanding of what Git actually does. Turns out it's a Git problem. An update for Git was pushed out recently that patches a big bad vulnerability and the way it was patched causes problems because they're using Git wrong (multiple users accessing the same local repo on a samba share). It's a huge vulnerability so my entire conversation with them went sort of like:

"Please don't."
"We have to."
"Fine, here's a workaround, this will allow arbitrary code execution by anyone with physical or virtual access to this computer that you have sitting in an unlocked office somewhere."
"How do I run a Git command I don't use Git."

So that dealt with, I start taking a look at our toolchain, trying to figure out if I can easily just cross-compile it to arm64 for the M1 macbooks or if it will be a more involved fix. And I find all kinds of horrendous shit left behind by the people who wrote the tools that, naturally, they left for us to adopt when they quit over a year ago. I'm talking entire functions in a tool used by hundreds of people that were put in as a joke, poorly documented functions I am still trying to puzzle out, and exactly zero comments in the code and abbreviated function names like "gars", "snh", and "jgajawwawstai".

While I'm looking into that, the person from our team who is responsible for incident communication finally gets the AWS EC2 provisioning issue reported to IT Operations, who sent out an alert to affected users that should have gone out hours earlier.

Meanwhile, according to the health dashboard in AWS, the issue had already been resolved three hours before the communication went out and the ticket remains open at this moment, as far as I know.

First I wanna say how grateful I am that devRant exists, because my friends either don’t understand this vocab or don’t care lol.

Last week I worked on a pretty large ticket, opened a PR with 54 file changes. Just to follow standards I set the PR milestone to a future release version, but the truth is I didn’t care which version this work ended up in— I just needed it to go into the develop branch asap.

Since it was a large PR there was some expected discussion that prolonged its merging, but in the meantime I started a second branch that depended on some of the work from this branch. I set the new branch’s upstream to develop, fully expecting my PR to merge into develop, since that’s what I set the PR base to.

I completed all the work I could in the new branch, and got two colleagues to approve the initial PR so it would be merged into develop, I could add the finishing touch and get this work done seamlessly before the week was over. They approved, it got merged, I pulled develop, and… my work wasn’t there. I went to look at my PR and someone had changed the base branch to a release branch. It was my boss, who thought he was helping. (Our bosses don’t actually work on the same team as us, so he didn’t know. it’s weird. We have leads that keep track of our work instead.)

I messaged him and told him I really needed this in develop, knowing our release branch won’t be in develop for probably another week. I was very annoyed but didn’t wanna make him feel too bad so I said I’d just merge the release branch into my new branch. So many conflicts I couldn’t see straight. His response was “yeah and you’ll probably have a bunch of package manager conflicts too because that’s in that release.” He was right— I have so many package manager conflicts that I can’t even see how many compiler conflicts there are. I considered cherry picking my changes, but the whole reason I set develop as my upstream was to avoid having any conflicts since I’m working in the same functions, and this would create more.

So I could spend the next (?) days making educated guesses on possibly a thousand conflict resolutions, or I can revert my release branch merge and quietly step back and wait for the release branch to be merged into develop.

I’m sure cherry picking is the best option here but I’m genuinely too annoyed lol, and fortunately my team does not care to notice if I step back and work on something else to kill time until it’s fixed automatically. But I’m still in dire need of a rant because my entire plan was ruined by a well-meaning person who messed with my PR without asking, so here is that rant and I thank you for your time.

Story of onboarding in the age of Corona!

Monday:
Office is big but almost empty, people are working from home. Guy welcoming me says he is not the one supposed to help me(he is sick I'm told) and the rest of the team is not there. The man I'm talking to is this other guys boss. It's OK I think it will work out.

Turns out this guy helping me is actually the CTO so he does not have that much time on his hands. He shows me were to get my computer and desk and hands me documentation to setup some software.

I spend the time before lunch installing linux, setting up git and some other software. CTO checks up on me once.

Then after lunch nothing...I look for him but he is in some meeting. I find some videos by myself labled "onboarding" on the company website. They are OK. I ask my deskmate if he heard what team I will be in. He doesn't know. I sneak out a little early since I have nothing left to do.

Tuesday:
The CTO is now also sick I see in an email when I arrive at the office. Still don't know what team I am in.

I spend the morning reading coding blogs and websites. After lunch I have a meeting. The only one in my calendar. It's about the product software architecture for all new employees. It's good but still no news about what team. I aimlessly read up on some software architecture untill I go home.

Wednesday:
I arrive at the office first, only the receptionist is there. I listen to podcasts until a few more people show up. I ask another guy if he knows what team I'm supposed to be in. He doesn't but laughs and says it was the same when he started last year.

I send out messages on slack looking for anyone that knows...still no one knows. I guess Im in limbo now. Perhaps i should just start making coffee for people or something...

!rant

This might be the most ambitious project I've ever started up till now, teaching my girlfriend everything college isn't.

As some of you may know my uni isn't the greatest and lacks in professor quality, my girlfriend (who's taking the same bachelor) knows this and when she knew I was starting a new little side project she wanted in.

At first I was skeptical, this could be just an excuse to spend more time with me, so I told her:

"if you really want to then I'm all for it, it'll be done my way and the first few weeks will be tough, however I promise by the end of it you will know 10x what you do now"

She agreed and so our journey began 3 weeks ago, my goal: make a kick ass project, do it in record time and teach her enough to cope with a IRL job.

I've setup the project so by the end of it she is well versed in the following: scrum, Django, MVC, python, HTML + CSS3, git, GitHub, PostgreSQL and Docker. In about 4 to 6 months.

We are into our third sprint this week, she had two small breakdowns because she couldn't believe how much she was missing out and felt she lacked talent, this is our third week and I'm glad to see that she's actually enjoying herself.

Current work project is microservices architecture out of 4 - 8 components.

It is fully Infrastructure as a Code automatized. I just change somewhere code, git pushing

And it automatically invokes Gitlab CI, terraform, ansible, kubernetes helm charts.
Auto checking itself with unit and integration tests in autoredeployed staging env. Then it saves tested results to docker registry and asks for one button verificating click to be rereleased to prod.

I just go for drink or eat food. While all the stuff is happening.

And I am proud that all the infrastructure, backend and frontend I made on my own.

I don't need to remember how to Deploy it. It is all automatized

Network admins deleted the VM my team's git server ran in.

I'm trying to focus my fury into a work appropriate message to their boss.

"fire everyone" is my first response, what would you do?

How to trigger social justice warriors...

I was young and stupid. Remember floppy disks? Yeah, we still had them when I was studying. Went to a computer cafe, rented a PC and DOS was already booted up (I'm an old fucker). I didn't want to reboot because PC rental was metered. I inserted my floppy disk and got infected by a virus that deleted my work. No git back then and my backup was on the same disk (fuck me). Back home, rewrote the whole thing from memory.

I got mad and wanted revenge. De-constructed a floppy disk, replaced the magnetic media with sandpaper and went to each and every PC on that computer cafe.

It was closed for day.

I'm in internship, why the fuck am I the one explaining them how to use git, Android studio????? Why am I the project manager?????? I'm supposed to learn from you not the opposite. Fuck this monkey.

This had me laughing out loud this morning, my wife just looked at me funny as I tried to explain it to her.

customer: "hey, feature X is broken!"

me: *asks for details

customer, one week later: "feature X contains information about Y, that *must not* be"

me: *looks at code, at git-history, at related tickets

customer, one year ago: "hey, feature X *must* contain information about Y"

me, all the time: :-|

Love it when you go “which dumbass wrote this”, check git blame, and it was you.

Working with the french person in the office and git gets me every time.

shit push, shit merge, shit rebase

Goddamn accent!

It is time. I have to admit it.

I don't understand Git.

I just memorized some basic commands: git commit, git push, git push -u origin master, git clone, git checkout [-B], git merge. That's it, that's the full list. I use them like they're some kind of magic spells that do what I need. Everything else, those intricacies like rebasing, resetting, HEAD and all that shit, is beyond me.

I'm not a real programmer. Real programmers know Git.

Story of WTF happened to my job

During my employment in (name censored) was stressful, They claimed I didn't complete my task on time which they constantly remove me from git and documentation(which have to follow their style of returning data), I kept emailing, slack, WhatsApp calls them, mostly and predictably got ghosted and blocked.

So How the fuck am I supposed to push my code or code without the documentation (I can actually, prevent refactoring every time, following the documentation is the good way to go.)

On the sprint review, they will complain about me not committing and pushing the code. (I did commit locally, but can't push, they removed me from the fucking repo) and not done.

Tried reasoning, telling the obvious reasons with them, doesn't work. They come out the second reason of me "NOT COMMUNICATING". Sometimes I can get to git merge from dev to my branch and get tonnes of fucked up code. I reviewed the code, and I can't tolerate it.

Lately, I overheard them mocking and cheering me about to get fired over a zoom meeting (I was in there, they forgot to remove me). Their conversation is about me being a coloniser, a jerk, betraying Chinese ancestors for being not Chinese enough.

I was like: "Why the fuck does their conversation sound like they are tucked in the Qin dynasty?"

Frequently I got labelled as unprofessional.

How is cussing about my ancestors, personal and life a professional behaviour?

I watched today one of our devs working in Windows with a Docker Environment.

I think I'm pretty insensitive regarding pain, horror and morbid stuff.

But damn. I really needed to turn off the stream or else I'd walk to the company and rip his fucking workstation out of the server rack to put it out of his misery...

Errors? ignore them....

Weird python messages? Ignore them...

wild copy pasta between notepad++ containing shell commands and a git bash... Per mouse context. Yes. Move the cursor, mark the text, right click, copy, go to terminal, right click, paste.

Understanding of whats happening. Zero. Like literal zero.

He was wondering why there were strange characters when he pasted log output in a text file...

My question: How do you think colored text works in a terminal environment?
was answered by : "Don't know, never thought about it. But don't think this has something to do with the weird characters?"

I don't wanna talk about the rest.

Retarded humanity can please kindly kill itself so the intelligent above average nice people can live in peace...

The meeting was 2 hours. I drank 5 bottles of beer after it in1 hour and I'm please to announce I'm forgetting large parts of what has happened.

Cheers.

Some company invited me for coding challenge. Tbh, I can't be arsed. Why can't they look into my fucking git? There is way more info there about how I actually work, so why the fuck not look at what I have done than their fucking exam project?
Urghhhhhhh

To this day I can't figure out why people still drink the windows koolaid.

It's less secure, slower, bloatier (is that a word?), Comes with ads, intrudes on privacy, etc. People say it's easier to use than Linux, but 99% of what anyone does happens on a chrome based web browser which is the same on all systems!

When it comes to dev, it boggles the mind that people will virtualize a Linux kernel in Windows to use npm, docker, k8s, pip, composer, git, vim, etc. What is Windows doing for you but making your life more complicated? All your favorite browsers and IDEs work on Linux, and so will your commands out of the box.

Maybe an argument can be made for gaming, but that's a chicken an egg scenario. Games aren't built for Linux because the Linux market is too small to be worth supporting, not that the games won't work on it...

I don't know who this "you" guy is on all of these git blames, but he's a real asshole for writing all of these bugs.

We work with about 7 developers at this company with 80 somewhat websites in production.

We edit changes directly trough FTP and we use ctrl+z as version control...

(yes since i started working here I've been demanding git, I'm spearheading it and we are getting there slowly)

My team is using Teams to share code snippets. And because I know they don't (know how to?) use git remotes, I have to share my code through Teams as well.

git ass .

My company’s code base is so messy that the dev branch and master branch is so buggy. But they put the blame on me as usual.

I use git blame, I wasn’t the author .

Did you #GIT IT? 😛

For the first time I am feeling like.... I hate my job.

Agile and Scrum can be fucked, but at least there is a work methodology. I was hired by a company being run the old school way.

These guys never heard of git??
- Fuck you. We never used git and neither should you.

Client company does not want to give me push/pull access to their gitlab instance??
- Fuck you, you can use our RDP server for that.

Project planning features be damned, they've got email, Teams and videocalls!

Can I develop in peace? Fuck no, I have to give IT support to the guy who hired me.

Our timeline is defined IN A FUCKING WORD DOCUMENT FOR FUCKS SAKE. I can't connect Issues to milestones in a Word doc

Oh, and the customer is running everything on prem. If there is a need to scale up, FUCK ME. I should have specified 20 machines from the get go or gtfo. We're using 2 machines to run 8 different services that are going to be ingesting and computing data.

They want state of the art on a cheapskate.

And I have nothing else lined up at the moment. Although I am soon to renew the contract... This contract binds me with professional responsibility for a project being ran by people who do not give a single fuck about optimizing the work process.

I was asked to look into a site I haven't actively developed since about 3-4 years. It should be a simple side-gig.
I was told this site has been actively developed by the person who came after me, and this person had a few other people help out as well.
The most daunting task in my head was to go through their changes and see why stuff is broken (I was told functionality had been removed, things were changed for the worse, etc etc).
I ssh into the machine and it works. For SOME reason I still have access, which is a good thing since there's literally nobody to ask for access at the moment.
I cd into the project, do a git remote get-url origin to see if they've changed the repo location. Doesn't work. There is no origin. It's "upstream" now. Ok, no biggie. git remote get-url upstream. Repo is still there. Good.
Just to check, see if there's anything untracked with git status. Nothing. Good.
What was the last thing that was worked on? git log --all --decorate --oneline --graph. Wait... Something about the commit message seems familiar. git log. .... This is *my* last commit message. The hell?
I open the repo in the browser, login with some credentials my browser had saved (again, good because I have no clue about the password). Repo hasn't gotten a commit since mine. That can't be right.
Check branches. Oh....Like a dozen new branches. Lots of commits with text that is really not helpful at all. Looks like they were trying to set up a pipeline and testing it out over and over again.
A lot of other changes including the deletion of a database config and schema changes. 0 tests. Doesn't seem like these changes were ever in production.
...
At least I don't have to rack my head trying to understand someone else's code but.... I might just have to throw everything that was done into the garbage. I'm not gonna be the one to push all these changes I don't know about to prod and see what breaks and what doesn't break
.
I feel bad for whoever worked on the codebase after me, because all their changes are now just a waste of time and space that will never be used.

client: I don't want our stuff in git, it's the single point of failure that ruins everything.

me: (weeps)

So today, again, I discovered the importance of unitests.
I was solving this performance issue, in which we had a few update actions for multiple entities in mongo, but it took FOREVER to complete, even when I unified it into one bulkWrite command.
Since the unified write did improve performance slightly, and we wanted to move on, we decided to let this bug go.
So there I was committing my changes when I got a rejection from the pre-commit hook since I didn't have enough unitests coverage.
Ok, let's start writing some unitests.
Some unitests also needed to test the bulk write. So there I was comparing expected with actual result, and suddenly I got a huge facepalm.
Apparently some rogue for loop iterated all entities again for each entity that needed update. So instead of getting one update per entity, I got N identical update commands per each of the N entities 🤦‍♂️
Needless to say, fixing this fixed the performance bug entirely.
Thank you unitests and pre-commit hooks!

I think what would help is to teach them these things:
- awareness for security in code
- how to use a fucking VCS like Git and how it works

Excerpts from "Bastard devops from hell" checklist:

- Insistently pronounce git with a soft "G" and refuse to understand people not using that pronunciation, the same goes for jithub, jitlab, jit lfs, jitkraken etc.

- Reject all pull requests not in haiku format, suggest the author needs to be more culturally open minded when offending.

- increment version numbers ONLY based on percentage code changed: Less than 1% patch increment, less than 5% minor increment, more than that major version increment.

- Cycle ALL access keys, personal tokens, connection strings etc. every month "for security reasons"

- invent and only allow usage of your own CI/CD language, for maximum reuse of course. Resist any changes to it after first draft release

When the new intern arrives... (OC)

Fun fact: Git conflict markers are valid Scala.

Git blame a buggy line of code I don't understand to ask the dev about it...my name pops up...

Just finished a technical interview for a company that asked me to submit a small app.

I guess when they had written the requirements they had anticipated it to be written as a Webform not as a full MVC application 😂. They had expected me to complete and build this single page app in 2-3 hours not in 14... 🫥 Oops

So here we are reviewing it and asking questions about my setup and what I was trying to do. They were impressed enough with it that one guy even admitted that I might be a better programmer than him. 😳 A very kind compliment, but concerning because he's supposed to be my manager...

All in all got through everything and they want me over to meet the team and see what this shop is all about.
I'm excited, they company is seeing immense growth and I might be able to bring in my expertise to expedite some of it.

Did I mention they use SVN for version control? 😳
They want to get into Git soon but they don't know how to. I guess I'll be leading that cause.

1) Read the wiki on git. I probably have enough shorthands and test methods that you won't need much other shit to debug issues.

2) when debugging, remember that if it is there, there's a good reason why I put it there.

3) commented-out code is probably useful for maintenance. I left it there for a good reason. 😛

4) chances are whatever I wrote, was the state of the art at the time I wrote it. There might be better ways to do it now tho.

5) I always work modular. First, understand the structure. (probably also documented on wiki) DO NOT fuck up the structure. If you change it, you document it.

6) If you feel I wrote shit, it's probably because management annoyed the living shit out of me. Pun intended.

7) Your confusion is normal. I don't do dumb shit.

Now who's a posh Git?

I wish my classmates didn’t know that I’m good at programming.

Recently, more and more often I am being reached out to by my classmates (and especially by one individual) about the problems they’re having issues with. For example yesterday, a guy fucked up his Git commit and made a bunch of merge conflicts, so I helped him fix this, which then lead to WinForms having multiple declarations of same objects.

And I really don’t wanna be rude, and I always try to help, for the love of god - stop bothering me every 5 minutes while I code, or at 10 PM while I wanna chill out.

Most of the things they have problems with can be solved by 2 minute Googling and I strongly believe that at the university level, you should be able to find solutions for your problems yourself - especially when you’re a programmer.

git cd ..

*stares at terminal*
...

Is that a sign that I should get some sleep?

So, I'm stuck...

I'm very passionate about technology. Coding and development and soldering together some raspberry pi or arduino project gets me all swept up in a false sense of belonging & sense of purpose. It's just always been my biggest passion...

As well as it has simultaneously been an elusive dream, driven away by circumstances and some pretty shitty decision making on my end... But, it's always a recurring theme and source of illumination through some dark moments... Abandonment of my dreams isn't an option.... I spent 10+ years on heroin and somehow still have the ability to dredge up some hope, surely I can finally get my foot/hand/ball sack in the door of my dreams... right??

Anyways, to sum up my ability in regard to technology/coding etc.... I'm a highly motivated and passionate Beginner-intermediate level tech enthusiast with a little html, css, Java, markdown/git know how, advanced soldering/PC building ability... With a high need to remain studious and get my ass balls deep in some computuh' learnin' circles.

In all seriousness, I really would like to be graciously provided with some communities and groups of folks that would assist me upon my path, and possibly ways I could slide into some sort of tech based career/job while amassing my IT abilities.

I am willing, but incapable of starting off in the right direction & in need of some guidance to firmly trod on towards my goals...

PS: I'm totally not a 32 year old man desperately in need of some guidance and reassurance... cause that'd make me some kinda loser or something... pfffft... I won't be 32 until 06/08.... so all is well and good 👍

Thanks in advance peeps. Later!

My coworkers could not develop without the mouse, avoid CLI as much as they can, and only understand git through pushing little buttons.

I wish I wasn't working with noobs.

Binary searching my way through the git history to find the commit that broke something. 😄

Today I got my first PR approved and merged in 4 mins 🎉

The problem with git jokes is that everyone have their own version.

I promised myself I wouldnt program or study after midnight.

And here I am, making flash cards for git like a total dork, and it's almost 1 am.

Both Conservancy and the Git project are aware that the initial branch name, ‘master’, is offensive to some people and we empathize with those hurt by the use of that term.

Offensive my butt. It's not like any developer alive today had experienced the life of a slave. It's all in the past. Should I get offended by imperial Japanese flag?

I woke up screaming today. I had a nightmare where I ran git pull on the project I work on every day, and it had become a .NET project.

Staging

Production

Exact replicas according to git

Of course, production is the one that doesn't work

FUCK I FUCKING HATE IT WHEN THIS HAPPENS SO FUCKING ANNOYING AND FRUSTRATING

You're dirtier than my submodule

git commit -m “changes” 😈

What’s happening to devrant the other day I saw a post how ppl preferred git gui over cli, just now saw a post where light theme ppl united. Where is my elitist crew?

I use arch btw /s

Love my new job but fuck they are way behind in any kind of modernization.

Just saw a demo over zoom where someone was showing the team how to change the margin on an error page.

They literally changed the HTML directly in prod using the VIM. So first of all no web modernation because there was no build, no deployment, not git, no pipeline - NOTHING!

This project went from 40 people to around 200 in 6 mos. You can't have all these people in prod just making fucking changes.

If this job did not pay 110k a year I would bail.

i was hired to join a team of old devs (40+) in an unnamed European country "yay goodbye 3rd world it's time to enjoy the quality of life" assist with enhancing already existing software and creating new solutions.
prior to my arrival most things were slow and super buggy, looking at the code base it shouldn't be a surprise, amateur hour everyone, logic implemented that is not needed, comment driven development, last time code review was done back in 1996. lots of anti patterns.
i swear there is a for loop that does nothing but it loops through a 100+ elements list, trunk based development with tfs since git is "not really needed"
test projects are not there.
>enter me an educated fool, with genuine passion for the craft and somehow a decent amount of knowledge.
>spent the last year fixing stuff educating people on principles and qualities.
> countless hours of training and explaining. team is showing cooperation, a new requirement comes in to develop with react.
> tear my ass creating reusable shit and self explanatory code with proper naming etc using git with feature branching, monday is first deployment day.
> today a colleague was working on an item submit a pull request and self approve it
> look at the code..... WTF the dumb fuck copied and pasted the whole code from different kendo components but somehow managed to refractor the name to test component, commented out all the code that he didn't use did the api call directly from the component, has 2 useeffects that depends on the a fucking text box changes for no reason, no redux implementation, the acceptance criteria is not achieved, and it doesn't work it just look right.
> first world country shit cannot scold, cannot complain, lead by example.
>asked him why you did this, the response was yeah probably i shouldn't have done that, i really didn't understand anything in the training but didn't want to waste time!!!!
> rest of the team created a different styled disaster with different flavors they don't even name their shit the same way.

fellow developers I'm stuck in a spaceship with a bunch of imposters, seriously i never cried in my entire life now I'm teary and on the verge of a break down.
talk with management "improving needs time" and offers me to join a yoga session to release the stress as if reaching nirvana would deliver shit on monday.
i really don't know what do is this a rant, is this a cry for help, I'm not sure, any advice is welcomed.

Old joke but we actually stuck this on our office front door.

Meaningful commit message !

Made my first open source contribution today. 6 months into my degree. It was just editing a README with a proper description of the game that was created but good practice to get more familiar with the flow and usage of everything in Github.

A long long time ago ( 2007 I think ) I worked for a company that made landing sites, so basically an email campaign would go out, users would be sent to a 1 page website with a form to capture their data, ready to be spammed even more. You know how it was back then.

So I worked with a guy who we had just hired, I didn't do the hiring but his CV checked out, so I gave him one of my tasks. Now most pages were made with js and html, with a PHP backend ( called with Ajax). Now this guy didn't know PHP so I was like all good, ASP works too at the end of the day we don't judge, we do like 2 or 3 of these a day and never look at them again. So he goes of and does is thing.

3 weeks later, the customer calls up to me they still haven't received their landing page. Ok so he probably forgot to email the customer np, I tell him to double check he has emailed the customer. Another week goes by end the customer calls back, same problem. At this point I'm getting worried, because we're days away from the deadline and it was originally my task.

So I go back to the guy and I tell him I want that landing page so I can send it myself, half thinking to myself that we had a freeloader, that guy that comes in to companies for 3 weeks, doesn't work, but still cashes his pay. But no, this was much worse.

So he tells me he has finished yet. I ask him why, what's the blocker ? You had 4 weeks to tell me you were blocked and couldn't progress. And his answer was simply, because I wasn't blocked I have been working on it this whole time. So I tell him to zip his project up and email it to me. We didn't do SVN or git back then, simply wasn't worth it. So he comes back to me and says the email server is telling him attachments can't be bigger then 50mb. At this point I'm thinking he didn't properly sized the art or something, so I give him a flash drive to put it on.

When I then open the flash drive, the archive is 300mb, thinking to myself, the images weren't even that big to begin with.
So I open it up, and I don't even find any images, just a single asp page. About 500mb. When I opened that up and it finally loaded, I saw the most horrendous things ever.

The first 500 lines was just initializing empty vars. Then there was some code that created an empty form with an onChange event that submits the form. After that.. it was just non stop nested if's. No loops, no while, for, foreach, NO elseif's, just nested if's, for every possible combination of the state the form could be in. Abou 5000 of them, in a single file. To make matters worse, all the form ( and page ) layout was hardcoded in the if's. Includes inline css, base64 encoded images, nothing but as dynamic, based on the length of the form he changes the layout, added more background etc. He cut the images up for every possible size of the page and included them in the code.

I showed it to my boss, he fired the guy on the spot. I redid the work from scratch, in under 4 hours. Send it to the client. they had no ammends to make, happy as Larry. Whish I kept the code somewhere.

Morale of the story, allways do a coding test on interviews, even if small things just to sanity check.

We get an email from the customer that a feature they “are using every day” is broken and it needs to be fixed ASAP. Sure, seems to be broken in current build. Run git blame to see when it stopped working. Last change may of last year. It’s been broken for almost a year and it took them until now to notice even though they “use it every day”.

Hiring a third party to help us with something...
Third party: yeah okay, we know what we need. Can we get access to your git repo
Me: sure, I'll make sure you'll get it
(To the admins): hey can you get them access to our git server?
Admins: did they sign the personal data processing contract?
Me: oh they won't work with any personal data. It's a dev server and they only need access to the source code. And the usual contracts and NDAs are already done
Admins: well we still need the other one.

... Sure. Why not. Just delays the start of the process for... Like a week and a half until that useless bit of paper has passed through all the necessary departments. Not like time's an issue. Right?

Creating a git repository and forgetting to commit and push. And not only after ending the project or nearly ending the project...

And fucking commenting stuff

echo "Hello World!";

Just got here.

What the hell is wrong with using GitHub, or Git??? A client told me he’s concerned because it’s been, in his words, “compromised” and the admins can “see our code for trouble shooting purposes” and he doesn’t feel comfortable with that…🤨 like…no one wants this code my dude, like the fuck!?! We’re already using a skeleton project from someone else’s git, yet you dnt want this project on there??? Ooooor, is it because you dnt know how to use it??? Nor do you want to take the time to learn it??? 🤨 fuck boy. 😡😡😡😡😡😡🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬

How do you judge the ability of the candidates during the interview?

Sometimes I find it hard to score their ability. I have seen some candidates with x years on paper yet does not know git more than push and pull.

Also there are few who didnt do very well at the interview, however we hired and doing quite well at work.

(As I also had a hard time getting a job before, I sometimes feel bad to reject some who seems to have good personality but didnt do well at work)

A custom script that makes a Jira ticket, assigns it to me, marks it as in progress, check out a git branch, set the commit title and the Jira title to my command line argument…. Push, open a PR, and fuck it, merge that shit too.

I checked all the corporate boxes and you got the typo fixed.

Two brainfarts that resulted in... a lot of pain

I had been coding all day, ~6hrs. I was in the zone, so I hadn't saved to git. It was all uncommitted changes (you see where this is going...)

Brainfart#1: The code used the "Contact" class, but for some reason my hands typed "Product" in this ONE line.

Brainfart#2: I became aware of Brainfart#1, so I changed the variable from "Product" to "Contact". However, I instinctively pressed F2, "Rename Symbol", instead of just changing the variable I was using. Now ALL of the references to "Product" were to the "Contact" class instead, across all of our code.

I finished coding. I committed and pushed the changes, closed the IDE, and left the desk for a snack. When I came back, the automated tests were failing due to an import error. That's when I noticed my mistake. I couldn't do Ctrl+Z because I had closed the editor. I had to change the names one by one across all of our code. "Contact" and "Product" are probably our two most used classes 😭

Disclaimer: I hold no grudges or prejudices toward [CENSORED] company. I love the concept of the business model and the perks they pay their employees. Unfortunately, the company is very petty, and negligence is the core of the management. I got into an interview for the position, of Senior Software Engineer, and the interview wouldn't take place if wasn't for me to follow up with the person in charge countless times a day. The Vice President of Engineering was the most confused person ever encountered. Instead of asking challenging questions that plausibly could explain and portray how well I can manage a team, the methodology of working with various technology, and my problem-solving skills. They asked me questions that possibly indicated they don't even know what they need or questions that can easily get from a Google Search. I was given 40 hours to build a demo application whereby I had to send them a copy of the source code and the binary file. The person who contacted me don't even bother with what I told her that it is not a good practice to place the binary in cloud storage (Google Drive, OneDrive, etc) and I request extra time to complete the demo application. Since I got the requirement to hand them the repository of the codebase, it is common practice to place the binary in the release section in the Git Platform (Jire, Azure DevOps, Github, Gitlab, etc). Which he surprisingly doesn't know what that is. There's the API key I place locally in .env hidden from the codebase (it's not good practice to place credentials in the codebase), I got a request that not only subscript to an API is necessary but I have to place them in the codebase. I succeed to pass the source code on time with the quality of 40 hours, I told him that I could have done it better, clearer and cleaner if I was given more grace of time. (Because they are not the only company asking me to write a demo application prior to the assessment. Extra grace was I needed)

So long story short, I asked him how is it working in a [CENSORED] company during my turn to ask questions. I got told that the "environment is friendly, diverse". But with utmost curiosity, I contacted several former employees (Software Engineer) on LinkedIn, and I got told that the company has high turnover, despises diversity the nepotism is intense. Most of the favours are done based on how well you create an illusion of you working for them and being close to the upper management. I request shreds of evidence from those former employees to substantiate what they told me. Seeing the pieces of evidence of how they manage the projects, their method of communication, and how biased the upper management actually is led me to withdraw from continuing my application. Honestly, I wouldn't want to work for a company where the majority can't communicate.

!dev

To de-stress myself. Git me a "bak Kit Teh"

My biggest problem with Visual Studio Code is that every fucking piece of shit dev thinks it's their duty to introduce it to me. STOP. Just stop this shit, alright? Wanna use vscode? Fine, just don't tell me it's the best tool and I MUST use it instead of the tools I'm used to. I'm tired of this bullshit.
Every new project, every new team. Starting from js/java/.net monke and ending with PMs, I must hear this bullshit about god blessed IDE that I must use, because "why you need intellij/webstorm/rider? just install vscode and some plugins. we all use it in our project and it's ok".
FUCK YOU! Refactoring is not just renaming variables and extracting blocks of code into functions. If you want terminal integrated into your text editor with highlighting and LSP support, so be it. I want an IDE with rich refactoring tools, code analysis and good completion, database viewing/modeling support, good build tools support, good UI for git and git-diff, good test and code coverage support. I don't want your semi-IDE, bloated with hundreds of bugged third-party plugins, which I must spend a week on to configure and merry with each other before using.
JUST STOP this crap and let people use the tools they are proficient/comfortable/productive with.

npm merge master
git i

Man fuuuuuuck, there's nothing more frustrating and scary than fucking up a local git repo. Because you know for a fact you won't be able to restore it

And I even had god damn backups of the .git folder. But reverting leaves me with more files than I started with fuuuck

Wrote a small fix to some css and asked the production guy to pull it...

Prod: pull what?
Me: the prod branch.
Prod: from where?
Me: the only git server we have.
Prod: Oh yea let me go and download the zip, give me like 5 minutes I need to open chrome.
Me: (smh)

He's been unpacking copies of the prod branch by hand for months

Am I the only one the sometimes just makes a PR that won't fix the issue but at least shuts everybody up so I can investigate in peace.

"Let me just quickly clean up the old stashes since everything is merged and I won't need them... "

Guess what, I needed that stash, and I had it saved 20 minutes ago.

"small fixes"...

git blame myself

We have pretty fast and lean dev process between QA/Design/Devs.

But sometimes, it's going to shit ;p

QA :
An option "ROLE" is missing for grouping in that table.
So 5 min to create ticket, assign someone from design on it

Design : Yeah, this is true. We missed that option in our design.
Proceds to modift figma by adding an option "Role" to a drop down.

Reasigned to Junior dev.

Junior dev : I have no clue how grouping works with graphql.

So at least 30 min.

Reasigned to me.

Me after 1 min of looking at it : PR chhanges on screen shot :

Facepalm... Everyhtibng was already in place, someone forgot to add id AND name, not just name.

Git blame => Or never mind... it was me..

I failed LinkedIn's Git skill test T_T

git blame...

I'm notoriously bad at Git. By that I mean I REALLY REALLY SUCK AT IT. And I have the curse of short memory and an even shorter ability to retain the how-to, muscle memory knowledge of things if too much time passes.

So, I was staring down the gullet of merging two separate repositories onto my local machine and then pushing the result to a remote server. Not having the benefit of someone else to bounce this off of, and always finding the usual Git docs too dense and obtuse, I turned to ChatGPT to help me sort it out.

Guys, where has this been all of my life? I know it's not perfect and it can make mistakes. I knew that going into it, so I made preparations in case this failed. BUT. IT. WORKED! I feel like it has put me into the Star Trek:TNG universe where I can say "Computer, do the thing." and it does that thing. Here's the prompt I used and which it answered perfectly.

"Play the role of a git coach. I have two git repositories. One is on Bitbucket. The other is on GitHub. The branch named "master" on Bitbucket has the latest code. The branch named "master" on GitHub needs to be updated to what's on the Bitbucket "master" branch. Please write the series of git commands that I will need to accomplish this."

Definitely Git, Node, Composer and PHP at the moment.
It's fucking incredible how you have such tools for free.
The younger generations have it much easier to get into programming.

Confluence WYSIWYG editor for tables on wiki pages. Forget about git and GitHub idiosyncrasies, "at the end of the day" project documentation in Confluence and Jira is the real challenge.

Fuck off git!

Why the fuck is a simple "git status" getting stuck? Is it even gonna return something by the end? How long am I supposed to wait?

Ffs 😡😡😣

-- Best --
> Submitted my notice of termination for my current job
> Found a new job starting next year
> Can switch from Windows to Linux/MacOS in new job
> Got more time to work on personal projects due to the pandemic

-- Worst --
> Huge amount of software restrictions (current job) almost got several projects at work canceled. Maybe its important to say that the core business of my current workplace is auditing so there are a lot of law regulations which then apply in the softwaredevelopment process.
> New managers that do not have the slightest clue of what they're doing
> Online Teambuilding events
> Absurd amount of segmentation of tools and also different coding guidelines that are used at work. E.g. one team uses jira, another trello, another github issue tracker and so on.

When a Feature is not developed yet. From “Reddit”

Tools are made for various audiences. Git is the de-facto standard for version management, so it can be complicated because people will still learn it (they more or less have to). Editors aren't as standard and they are to be used from the minute you start learning, so they have to at least be usable without a course or a handbook. I prefer the first type of tool because to use something really good I don't mind reading a book. Programming languages can fall in either category; Python was meant to be used by laics and is therefore very simple, sacrificing a lot for the sake of simplicity. Rust isn't meant to be used by anyone who isn't trained, and it comes with a great book that explains all the most important gotchas. Haskell doesn't have an official book AFAIK, but it has the best wiki I've ever seen in a programming language.

mfw the devops told me he doesn’t know how to rebase without GUI.

True story.

...

Thoughts?

git checkout origin/develop
git status
You are not currently on a branch.

Only computers and nerds can argue like that.
Expected behavior: I'm on branch develop, but nevermind, let's overcomplicate everything.

git push --all

/me joining a new front-end project with enforced prettier rules to complete the build pipeline.

No double-quotes ! Single-quotes all the way !

- weird flex, but OK. I'll comply

No CRLF ! LF only !

- Ok, now you're starting to annoy me. With git autocrlf I can have my precious CR locally bu check in only LF and YOU CAN GIVE THE FUCK ABOUT WHAT LINE ENDINGS I USE LOCALLY WHEN EVERYTHING WILL BE CORRECT WHEN PUSHING COMMITS!

No semi-colons !

- Now I hate you

RAAAAAAH fuck fuck fucking shit!!! Fuck jest Typescript "on the fly" compilation esModuleInterop typeroots, missing definitions jest ts-ignore and xtest everywhere, manual npm linking with different pkg mgrs & pub to a private registry, building docker images locally and doing tag management across git, docker & kubernetes then cross fingers that prod which has 0 common setup with local & test somehow works, open architecture "tickets" and wait months before they resolve, then repeat ad infinitum. How the fuck can I be productive when I need to be all over the place all the time and deal with these meta-code shenanigans. I just wanna code, damned

Until today, I had assumed deploying stuff to prod would NOT be one of my responsabilities in this company. Apparently that's not the case.

Had to deploy my code and pray it didn't break anything. Why is this a big deal at all?

Well you see, there is no repository. At all. No git, no svn, not even duplicate folders. No tests, no pipeline. Just a bunch of CPanels.

Had to manually copy files and folders from the development site to the production site and partially copy a database. "Just drag and drop" were the instructions I was given.

As if using CakePHP2, PHP5 and having to parse fucking Excel files wasn't bad enough, now I have to deal with one of the worst ways to deploy code.

Fuck it, I'm switching on the looking-for-job flag on linkedin.

Runs linter
168 files changed
"Yeh not gonna commit that because other will think I worked on it and send questions my way, I rather live in peace"

Bunch of freelancers invented new Git flow 😂🤣

Boss asks if the project will be finished today, I reply ‘yes’ and then realised I’d not pushed my code after working from home the previous day! Doh!

You know what fuck github , anyone remember when git cli was easy and straight forward to use

Now i have conflicting master branches because the remote is main and git automatically defaults to master.

Git still asks for a password while github can't wait to inform me how I have to go through the very long process of setting up an auth_token.

Apparently https remote origins for some reason don't work anymore, why because apparently i need to change them into ssh, good luck with the public key errors

This sucks , fuck github and fuck politics

Cursed changes

Ok finally, I can tell now.

There's a college project I'm in with 2 more people that uses Python and AnyLogic (separately).
We also need to write some LaTeX, so as I was already using PyCharm for the Pyshit, I used it for the LaTeX and for Git.
I used it for Git too because I didn't know how it used Git and was worried that if I used the console it didn't recognize something or glitched out or something. And what the hell, it's a mature IDE, what could be so hard or possibly go wrong?

I had to re download the repo a couple of times because between pushes, pulls, merges and commits something happened and the repo ended in a weird state.
These are all the things I do:
Add, commit, create branches, merge, push, pull and delete branches.

So, I hadn't opened in some time. The last time I tried to bring something from another branch, and stayed up late to finish something. I was waiting for my classmates to join the call when I thought something like "Hey, I should commit what I did until now, it worked great.". When I examined the IDE I found out I was in the middle of a rebase or something. I start clicking buttons to at least try to commit. I press "Skip Commit". I lose everything.

What the fuck‽ As you can see in the comprehensive list above, I never do something similar to a rebase. Apparently when I tried to merge a couple of branches, the stupid IDE thought I tried to do a rebase and never asked me to finish it. Why do something I have never asked? Plus, why haven't you prompted me to finish the operation? That's so stupid. I'm never trusting IDEs again.
I was so lit for losing so many hours of work I did a couple of weeks before, I would have to think it and do it all over again because of something I never asked.

We spent an hour looking for a way to recover the lost code.
Why an hour, you ask, if you can use the Local History for that in PyCharm?
Because none of us had used it before and the articles we found said that you had to open it from the toolbar. From the toolbar it was greyed out.
Then I found the option in the contextual menu of the files. Recovered the LaTeX files but on the AnyLogic files, it was greyed out.
I had to open the Local History of the folder containing the AnyLogic file.
And that was that.

I almost faint.
Fuck Python, fuck PyCharm.

We've all been there before mastering git commit --amend, rebase, and squash

Let 10 devs discuss the future git strategy. Close them into a room for 2-3 hours, provide snacks along the way. Let's see how many ideas arise and collapse and see who survives the fight.

GitHub is horrible. It takes the "de" away from the "decentralized" aspect of Git. Also, don't forget the part of the TOS that says Microsoft has all rights to your code regardless of license.

Why do SAMBA network drives have to suck this much? Yeah I understand that compiling to a network drive is probably a bad idea just for performance reasons alone but can't you at least not fuck with my git repo?

$ git gc
Enumerating objects: 330, done.
Counting objects: 100% (330/330), done.
Delta compression using up to 24 threads
Compressing objects: 100% (165/165), done.
Writing objects: 100% (330/330), done.
Total 330 (delta 177), reused 281 (delta 151), pack-reused 0
error: unable to open .git/objects/7e: Not a directory
error: unable to open .git/objects/7e: Not a directory
fatal: unable to mark recent objects
fatal: failed to run prune

$ git gc
error: unable to open .git/objects/00: Not a directory
fatal: unable to add recent objects
fatal: failed to run repack

$ git gc
Enumerating objects: 330, done.
Counting objects: 100% (330/330), done.
Delta compression using up to 24 threads
Compressing objects: 100% (139/139), done.
Writing objects: 100% (330/330), done.
Total 330 (delta 177), reused 330 (delta 177), pack-reused 0
Removing duplicate objects: 100% (256/256), done.
error: unable to open .git/objects/05: Not a directory
error: unable to open .git/objects/05: Not a directory

At my new internship I am have to work in Magento. I come to FUCKING hate it.

From the phtml files, the choice between caching or having to wait 20 fucking seconds for a page reload to the huge file structure and the "documentation".

The whole fucking thing is a mess with a shit load of bugs and confusing git tickets that never seem to be added as updates!!!

Fucking hate this shit

Not consistently git comitting (and pushing to repo). Sometimes I wonder if I'm in fact a masochist.

My manager says you shouldn't be doing archaeology work looking at old pull requests and git diffs to figure out how things work.

Are there scenarios when this is useful? How common are they in your day to day?

Git reflog: an edit history for your edit history.

What a joy working in a company that uses git as if it's subversion (dev branches? What are dev branches?) paired with gerrit. Getting a single, crucial change pushed to the actual repo can take days. The speed of the site can be measured in geological epochs. The interface has a charm of windows 95. Half of the builds are broken. Life is fleeting and I'm wasting it here.

git
Linux
VLC media player
Inkscape
LibreOffice
Metalsmith js

100's of low-level NPM packages I don't know the name of

TIL

Git was created by torvalds

That feeling when u delete 4months of coding work that u didn't deploy on git, with just one line of code ....😔😔😠😤..
I wanted to delete the virtual environment oo...

My end of week fun…

I hate these Mondays. You start really motivated after a nice weekend of seeing lots of old friends, but instead of your own work, you have to pick up the mess a coworker left for you while fleeing into holiday and because that's not frustrating enough, you try to review code from that new senior developer and get confronted with the probably most awful commit history someone ever managed to create.

Of course he also needed handholding and multiple trys to stop breaking like every coding convention we have for branch management...

I am still a junior and I feel pretty disappointed when being confronted with people being so..confused with stuff like git even though they have like 10 years of experience.

While I was still studying, I somehow imagined this industry to be much more...sophisticated?

Python
Git
Linux

- make absurdly large refactoring on
- run unit tests for the first time on this branch and expect dozens of failures
- everything works
- be like WTF!

- git status
> on brach master

And this is how to troll yourself.

I have a few side project ideas. I started one of them a few months ago (project setup, dependencies, git repo, index page, very basic API and client functionality). But I cannot get myself to work on it or even think about it (for months now). The reason? I do not want to work on the client/frontend! I do not want to deal with React or Vue or Svelte or fuckjs or even jquery. It's a fucking mess.

For the backend, the requests are stateless: you get a request, handle it, and respond back. Need to update state? Database. That's it!
For the frontend, there's just tooo many states I can't keep up with! When the user checks or unchecks this checkbox, I need to maintain the state of the checkbox and maintain the all effects of changing the checkbox while syncing with the backend and making sure the elements are still styled correctly with the applied effects. Multiply that with all the expected interactive elements on the page. It's exhausting!

Who around here is saying the looovveeeee mobile development? EVERYTIME i come back to it, it's just cert nightmare - you need a provisioning profile this, distribution cert that, your profile has to INCLUDE the cert, on and on and on. god i hate it

Wanna know how I do it with web?

git push

As a tech lead i sometimes find it very hard to defend developers for no fault of theirs.

Management is completely incapable of noticing hard data like git logs or action items updated on an excel and seems to have an idea that the devs are incompetent , but the ba that sets impossible goals and crap business documentation is competent.

Should i just let the project and juniors burn.

> be me
> " It's Sunday, time for some battlestation housekeeping"
> " Oh easy, every git repo should do 'git clean -dfx'"
> Goes to ~/.rbenv
> Executes 'git clean -dfx'
> A whole 15 minutes long my drives go in overdrive...
> Removed 37 ruby versions and their gems, 104GB space freed up

I should do this more often

And I should now pull in all new versions and other things...

Poll: how do you manage Git?
A) CLI
B) GUI

My answer: A
Tally: A:1 B:0

HR declared day as holiday.
You Resume work next day and Git commits channel had 400 unread messages,
Silently telling at you like - hmm lazy lots get back to work!
To the hard workers You could’ve waited to push your commits the next day brother, we know you don’t like holidays like we do.

Please share your thoughts on Dependabot security alerts on Github, more specifically for NPM packages in package-lock.json.

In 99% of cases I've found them useless as:
- package-lock.json is in the repo, but not in the NPM package (=no value to users)
- most of the updates relate to devDependencies (=no value to users)
- it clutters the git history (and changelog if it is auto-generated) with a batch of patch updates (updated depx to .1, .2, .3) while the only important thing in the next release notes is the delta (updated depx from .1 to .3) (=no value to users)

If git merge automatically performs a commit to the main branch, how do we add a message to that commit?

Debbuging options that no customer uses since it makes the logs unreadable.

Formatted the logs and in 3 Years Not one customer used the feature or asked for it.

---------

An automatic tool (like smartgit) for our internal use. Not one uses it, instead they still complain about git

What the absolute fuck were you thinking Microsoft?

You're doing everything you can to ensure that those who continue to use Github are flogged and castrated?

What the fuck happened to the SSH clone link that was so easy to keep in all you had to do was *checks notes* fucking NOTHING.

It makes me question choices I have made over the last two years. Like, why don't I just host my own git server at this point? I have a couple servers running and it would cost me next to nothing.

Before anyone says anything about GitLab , I looked. I would be spending three times what I am now if I used them.

At this point it seems like a futile attempt to stay with you. I'm going to start calling you ShitHub now because it's a place where I can't get shit done without some kind of new shitty "improvement".

2022 is lining up to be a spectacular year!

Fuck you Microsoft.

Gitflow approves

I never noticed the official name for git on the manual page is "the stupid content tracker"

"Code"

And the website says "Lonely geeky people do need apply"
So I put my on my glasses and I went in to ask him why
He said you look like a fine outstanding young man, I think you'll do
So I shook his hand and, I said "I am glad I will be working for you."

Code, code, everywhere there's code
Neo vision, tweakin' my mind
Do code this, and API that, can't you read the fucking manual

And the sign says "If you want to use this site you must accept our cookies"
So I found the CEOs address and doxxed him all night!
To put up a dialog and block content from my sight.
If Todd was here, he'd tell it to your face, man, "it just works"

Code, code, everywhere there's code
Neo vision, tweakin' my mind
Do code this, and API that, can't you read the fucking manual

Oh, say now mister, can't you code
You got to have a laptop and a hoodie to get a job
You can't work, no you can't standup, you ain't supposed to be here

And the website says "You got to have an employee ID to get inside" - yo!

And the website says "Everybody welcome, come in, code and share"
But then they passed around a git pull at the end of it all
And I didn't have a character to code
So I got me laptop and I made up my own fuckin' code
I typed, "Thank you OSS for thinking 'bout me, I'm alive and doing fine", yeah

Code, code, everywhere there's code
Neo vision, tweakin' my mind
Do code this, and API that, can't you read the fucking manual

Code, code, everywhere there's code
Neo vision, tweakin' my mind
Do code this, and API that, can't you read the fucking manual

Yes! Some old song, called "Code code", I wish we did write that one, but
We didn't - git blame!

Hello World!

Want to know who wrote a specific line of code? Install the git lens extension on vscode, lol

Just a thought

What will happen if i write ".gitignore" in .gitignore file????

I use so many open-source projects that I don't even know which one I use most.

Probably Linux or Git. I use Linux on all my own personal PCs. I use Git at home and at work. But there's also Firefox...

Do you want to know why all the popular open source projects have less-than-optimal, sometimes really dirty code?

It's because their developers ditched all the unnecessary stuff to just get the damn thing done. When I choose an open source dependency, I don't need unfinished stuff. I need a stuff that works and has all the features I need from the very start. If it works, I don't care about code quality in my deps.

This is the reason why dirty, rushed stuff with a great idea behind it gains popularity. PHP, Git, jQuery, the list is quite large.

While you've been busy polishing your files hierarchy, these guys already shipped their product, gained adoption, and their userbase doesn't need your product anymore.

This is applicable only for true open source, not "it's developed by a full-time team of principal developers and the CTO is fucking Kent Beck, it costs $1m per month but yea we have it on github".

Alright after upgrading to Monterey, I literally can't open a single repo without Sourcetree crashing. Any alternatives? What do ya'll like as a git GUI?

inb4 "learn the commands" - I want to carefully separate files (or even hunks) by ticket number and can't be bothered to type all the commands out

A jr dev was having an issue registering code with our data pipeline (prefect self hosted).

Turns out he's running vscode to launch a anaconda shell (didn't even know that was a thing) to launch jupyter notebook and running commands in the notebook (didn't know that was possible) all from Windows.

No it doesn't work. His environment configuration isn't right. I told him to just run Linux and get rid of all that nonsense.

Nothing is on git yet and were three weeks in! His code is full of hard coded absolute paths of files on his hard drive... He even had an example app to go buy, with a project layout to copy.

There's no helping some people

It feels like having awful group project experiences in college is a rite of passage.

I once worked with two other students that had no idea what git was, and outright refused to learn/use it when they could just "email the code." I begrudgingly worked with this, and the night before the assignment was due they both emailed me their work.
One of them had the AUDACITY to send me a PHOTO OF THEIR CODE. As if I was going to take the time to re-type everything myself. Not to mention it was all clearly copy and pasted code anyway.. what a nightmare.

What’s going to f up my career from here on out is Git. I’m constantly needing assistance from others with it because I can never keep everything straight in my head with what’s going on “in there”. It’s always getting tangled up like old fishing line and I just have to cut the line and start fresh again. I honestly feel so stupid compared to other people who don’t have a problem with it. My brain just can’t keep track of all the different states local, branches, and master can be in at any given time, and across more than one developer. I’m probably alone so, yeah, go ahead and roast me. I probably deserve it for being so perpetually gobsmacked by it all.

for the 3rd time ive tried introducing some version control on a project that really needs it because it has multiple people working on it.

And because the last time my efforts got shut down because in practice people thought it was too much of a hassle to develop locally rather than on the shared development server directly, I made a feature that would let people checkout branches on said server...

Apparently the action of; saving > committing > pushing to your feature branch > merge after aproval, is still too much for people to comprehend; "I think this is too convoluted can't we just keep pushing to the production server to check our work and then commit and push to the master branch"

So I just got pissed and said fuck it, no more git then, I'm not even going to put any effort into changing tooling here anymore, and this is a massive project where we have to manually remove code that isnt ready yet from the staging environment.

Are the people I'm working with just this stupid or am I really overengineering this solution because I think 4 people should not be working on the same file at the same time without any form of version control and just direct upload to FTP.

(and yes, I know I should leave this job already, but social anxiety of starting at a new company is a big obstacle for me)

Subconscious doing it's thing?

git sobmodule update --init

OMG I have a proper rant from last night.
It involves an unwanted rebase and lost uncommitted code from weeks.
Tune up after my shift.

The production file edited in March was way more advanced than the development file edited in July... what happened here?

I want to implement Git on this one so bad. :( I wish I found the way and the time already (it's a very complicated situation).

I'm bored.

Waiting on people to answer and on software to finish running ... again.
What do?
I've started viewing CMake tutorials on YT, played that interactive git 'game', read some SO topics and archWiki entries.
Just struggling with concentration and getting myself to wanting to concentrate.
Oh and I'm almost finished with XKCD

Any tips how to spend waiting time useful but interesting/catching?

It has been a few years since I havn't touched any code, IDE, git or anything else.

And now, I'm trying to create a new personnal project for Warhammer with Laravel, Node, Tailwind and trying to understand all the webpacking thing ...

Dude, it's hard af to get back in business with all the new things ...

Any advice on how to get back ?

little typo making my day now, and let to this little "improvment":
$ git config --global alias.vomit commit

I decided to use Docker Compose on a tiny project that essentially consists of an API and a Caddy server that serves static files and proxies to the API, all of this running on an EC2 t1-nano. I made this admittedly odd choice because I wanted to learn Compose and simultaneously forego figuring out why the node-gyp bindings for sqlite3 refuse to build on EC2 even though it builds just fine on my machine.

I am storing secrets in .env which is committed into the private GH repo. Just now I came across a rant that described the same security practice and it sounded pretty bad from an outside perspective so I decided to research alternatives.

Apparently professional methods for storing secrets generally have higher system requirements than a t1-nano. I'm not looking for a complex service orchestration system, I'm not trying to run an enterprise on this poor little cloud-based raspberry pi. I just want to move my secrets out of the Git repo,

Any tips?

I work in a small team. As the senior dev I tens to focus on important tasks that shape the core of the product but some times I can’t divide my self when there are multiple tasks at hand, so I pass some tasks to the an other mid level dev.

So the task was to create an automation in order to CD (continuously deliver) an order from WHMCS of the (git versioned) product to customers UAT, PROD envs.

To get a background this is an old guy with “constricted” experience in PHP/jQuery/Joomla/Wordpress.

So when we were breaking up the tasks he told me he would like to implement this so i gave him the task as i was busy with core features.

I was like what could go wrong? I know he doesn’t know much about CI/CD but he can read right? He will google right? He will search for CI/CD solutions that do this out of the box right? He will design on paper or what ever and do small POCs right? He will design the flow first before starting the implementation right? RIGHT?

So fast forward to today I had a call with him this morning about some DB staff. And he wanted to show me his progress…

His solution is:
(parentheses is my brain)
1. Customer completes WHMCS order (perfect)
2. Web Hook 🪝 action (YES)
3. cpanel gets source and “automatic!” Init, all using pure PHP code ignoring the usage of the current framework (ok… something is missing)
4. cpanel web hooks(?) WHMCS to send email to customer with the envs initial setup page(?)
5. Customer opens link and adds setup info (ok fuck, fuck, fuck)

(Ok stay cool composed, lets ask some questions maybe he thought it all in a cool way I can’t get my mind around)

Me: So how are you gonna get the correct version from the repo to the env and init the correct schema?

Dev: I haven’t thought about it yet.

Me: Are we gonna save each version to a file system then your code is going to fetch them?

Dev: I haven’t really thought about it we will see. But look on customer init user setup I implemented a password strength validation and it also checks if the password is the same.

So after this Pokémon encounter I politely closed teams. Stood up drank some (a lot) coffee ☕️. Put out the washed laundry while reflecting on life’s good things, while listening to classical music 🎼 .

Then I sat on my office chair drank some more coffee, put some linking park starting with in that order:
“Numb” then “What I’ve Done” and ended with “In the end, it does really fucking matter”

Force pushing a better version in a different language to the repo of a program that I wrote 2 years ago. It was sort of a memory, but I mainly looked at it to feel better about my current coding style.

I don't want to take comfort in knowing that I'm getting better. I know that, and it feels like false affirmation. If anything, I want to know that I'm good compared to others, not compared to a previous, dumber version of me. I'll never get to beat him anyway.

I used `git commit --allow-empty` today, and I almost teared up. It reminded me of my life.

Oooh yeeaah
just pushed a new branch
waiting for code review and merge

Guys, GitLab or Github? which is the best in your opinion with least overhead

Had a branch that I was ready to push to a remote and open a PR tp this big open source project.

I was making a git pull from their master in order to not have merge conflicts on remote... and then I see that their master branch already had the feature that I was trying to implement, merged 10 days ago.

A lot of work... for nothing.

Because I had to wait on some old ass company policy process bs on open source software to give me permission to push to a codebase we're using in their internal product.

Well in today's meeting I made a reference to this... they still insisted on intellecxual preperty bs. Im questioning their ability to think.

Im pushing fixes and enhancements to that without permission, idgaf

Okay, I have a desktop and a laptop. I don't think that's surprising.

I do sync the contents of both via git. Also not surprising.

But I thought, hmm, I hate having to do temporary git commits. Stuff like

git add .
git commit -m temp
git push

Just so I can remove it alter via

git reset HEAD^

I hate it because it forces me to force push. So, how do I sync stuff I do not want to commit yet?

Well, I just set up an instance of owncloud. Was easy. 20 minutes and everything is running. Can recommend. But...

For some reason it doesn't work. It syncs stuff just fine... But it also syncs my .git directory... I thought it wouldn't be a problem.

Saves me a pull. Don't have to pull what's synced, right? Also setting up new projects should be terribly simple. Just add it normally. So, git just versions and does pipelines. And I copy everything inside the git directory over.

Also allows me to have more private .git/info/exclude files and hooks...

But for some reason... everything is synced. Dot-files are being synced as well. Everything works... But running git status on one side tells me everything is commited... Doing it on the other side it tells me there are new files.

How is that possible??? I kind of expected that even a branch checkout would be synced... Was curious if that would lead to issues, but I didn't expect it just not recognizing changes. Git doesn't hold projects in memory, does it? Nah, that doesn't make any sense. So, why does git status disagree? Git log is identical... Git status is not...

It makes no bloody sense.

I need some help. I have a 1 months old MR in gitlab with 5 commits of a feature that I have to revert.

I have hard time understanding how to solve git revert conflicts and frankly this three windows GUI on intellij idea is very confusing to me. I am like afraid that I will accept a bad change or miss something.

Is there any other way to make this merge conflict solving easier? I was thinking maybe I could just rebase to head where I added my commits, revert them without conflicts and then rebase that branch on latest develop?

In that case I would be solving merge conflict by adding stuff instead of removing old stuff and being afraid that I will mess up something. Goal is to create a revert feature MR.

After working in this godforsaken clusterfuck for half a decade, where no one knows what the fuck git is, and they just use a single git branch like SVN…

Ive oddly come to like resolving merge conflicts. It’s strangely calming, almost like playing games.

Do let me know how fucked in the head I am, my emotional compass is probably buried 4 feet deep under a pile of retarded commits.

learning golang. so they have optional feature called `vendor`. so basically they reinvent the `node_modules`.

the weird thing is that it supposed to work by committing dependencies to git. but unlike node_modules, vendor directory wouldn't be massive since they come with assumption that the community wouldn't fuck up the libraries ecosystem.

huh?

Been picking up Go recently and am really liking the idea of using git repos as library urls, just makes so much sense to me.

Also in general go is just kinda cool and makes me like lower level programming a lot - although I had to learn the hard way with Mutexes and locking.

Sometimes, using git feels like performing a particle experiment in physics.

When I have some added lines staged for a commit, then remove those lines and stage it too, the changes annihilate into no changes at all.

Lines add and lines remove is like particle and antiparticle.
The energy that is released upon annihilation is equivalent to the joy of having a clean commit with few changes.

The project needs to make bigger changes to a module. A guy starts doing the changes. It turns out that the task is bigger than we though originally. Team lead has a brilliant idea: you need help. So he'll assign couple of more guys to do the same change.

What's the catch? The catch is that we are now all changing the same files. The code is a mess and tweaks and hacks are needed all over the place. So basically one guy changes the files and others just watch YouTube and wait for him to commit. The it's your turn to change the files and the first guy watches PornHub.

You could all just try to edit the same files at the same time, but we all know how GIT feels about that. You change random lines, he changes random lines, someone else changes random lines, all merges go to shit, nothing works and we spend 2x more time on just trying to get it compiling again.

me: <checking diff of code, types "diff">
comp: error in command provide filenames
me: wtf...
me: oh, "git diff"
me: What's the diff?

Could a diff diff if a diff did not diff code? What?

I hate git submodules.

What’s the best way to manage third party libraries in C++ especially when you’re not just dealing with software but several hardware?

I usually just store each library in its own sub module that gets rebuilt each update/pull, but this is started to get crazy as my project gets larger that it is not scaling.