We are not ready, I won't sign on this shit I said!

Release on Friday, what could go wrong? All unit tests passed they said!

It's Tuesday and shit is still broken!

FML

Boss come all excited... I want this project done right! I want it on time and I want this client uber happy!

Me: Dude ... pick two.

Friend of mine who is not a Dev and loves to go out sees me few days ago with a couple of Dev friends...

Dude what's going on? Dude dude let me tell you about this chick... 1 hour later story ends. We gave him respect as one Dev should to a non dev and started talking about IDEs and how the new VS Code is pretty awesome.

He interrupts and goes ... that chick Venesa Code, is she hot? Would you?

Silence ... We would, we all would.

Product already sold.

Me after reading the requirements and confirming the deadline ...

Logging into Windows at the age of 1 and a half ... Challenge accepted!

Client ask for "quick fix". Done.
Client asks for the invoice. Freaks out. "WTF you are charging thousands of dollars for 15 minutes of work!"

Reply: "It took me 15 years to fix it for you in 15 mins!"

Picasso FTW!

Client tests the app and provides feedback ... This sucks! Full of bugs, hard to navigate, nothing works!

1 week later after version 2 client provides new feedback: This rocks! Love it. Easy to use and rock solid!

Changes made: background set to light blue.

In my university years I had a computer engineering professor who had an ascent and it sounded like an "S" being added to each word. I went for the first lecture and not knowing if I was at the right room I left after hearing:

"Togethers we wills do projects with some chips"

I was like ... thanks I just had breakfast!