That I'm too focused on it. And that I'll never be as good as I want to be.

I'm aware these concerns conflict with each other a bit.

My first concern comes from not devoting more time to other hobbies that just let me do things away from my computer, tech related or not. And the second comes from feeling like I've hit a wall and I don't know how to produce better projects beyond that wall ATM and when I do put time into other hobbies/skills even if it is tech related I feel as if I'm not progressing. It's frustrating.

These are both things I've been working on lately. Cutting social media has helped a little bit.

Leave or live with it

Reject original specs. Do the bare minimum MVP that works and solves problems people actually have, and not problems you think people have.
Improve it if needed.

In my experience, software projects don’t live long enough to outgrow the MVP. If they do, it happens way down the road. At that point, business will change, and the original spec will become irrelevant.

It’s a paradox: 90% of the spec was discarded, but the business is happier than if we followed the spec word by word.

Also, static typing and unit testing solve nothing. I’m sorry.

The world is a shitty place, everything depends on your rng, two could be working the same job but one ends up making 10x more because they were born in the right country.

I know what you're going to tell me, quit being a crybaby and acting like a victim, always easier for the fortunate to spew out that bs.

apple vision pro

All is well until one of the interviewers starts dropping questions like:
- Where do you see yourself in x years
- What gets you out of bed every day
etc.

that give you some nice mid interview existential dread.

I think the one of the more common reason for imposter syndrome is that a lot of smart people constantly get told as children the "you're so smart/capable, you can do everything!" too much, and when you hear it enough times, it gets to you, so you think everything is just easy. And then when they start hitting roadblocks, instead of helping or explaining that it's normal for things to be hard and it's normal to fail, usually parents and teachers and whatnot tell them "Oh it's okay, don't worry about it, you're smart, you'll get it" and so they at first it works, maybe it just takes more time but they manage, but as things get harder and they still put little effort because "don't worry, you're so smart, you learn so fast/easy" and as they find out more and more things they don't umderstand or don't know they start to feel a dissonance, which builds anxiety.
And this is where I thinks it actually starts: at some points there comes a situation where they either share this anxiety with someone or someone notices their worry, and(at least from what I've seen from others) usually the response they get is something along the lines of: "Nah, you're just worrying too much, you're smarter than you think, don't be so down on yourself, you need to worry less", which, maybe I'm wrong, but I'm not sure telling someone that thinks he has a problem that he doesn't have a problem, helps their worrying.
And on one hand the amount if things they don't get/know/understand or fail at grows(cuz you can't just be good at EVERYTHING, so the more things you know about, the more things you don't understand) while mentally still being in that "Wait a minute, you're smarter than this, you should be getting this!" mindset that's been drilled into them, and so at some point the illusion shatters, and they start to think "Maybe I'm not so smart after all", and because they think they were wrong about their level, they feel like they have "oversold" themselves in the past and that makes any past accomplishments feel like lucky accidents instead: "If I'm not actually smart, the things I did manage to achieve must've been just accidental", which makes them feel like they've lied to themselves and everyone else when they "took credit for an accidents" and that their life is just a snowball of pretending.

Now, is that actually a cause or is it another one of my crazy 1AM ramblings? I don't know xD
I'm not an expert in any of this and I don't really know any psychology so hell if I know if that's how any of this works but that's just my theory of one of the reasons why. *shrug*. I've had this theory for years, but I don't know.
It at least makes sense to me, but not everything that makes sense is true soooo.

Anyways, wall of text is over.

Oh, and for anyone struggling with imposter syndrome: I just want you to know, it's okay to fail, and it's okay to not know shit, especially in the dev industry where every "insignificant" detail can have an entire rabbit hole of expertise behind it, nobody can expect to know every part of it. And it doesn't make you any less smart no matter how much you fail. Tnis shit is hard, so I hope you stay strong and I hope you succeed in whatever it is you're struggling with.
*Massive virtual hug* <3

Hits hard when you learn fast, and within 9 months jump from not knowing how to code to developing a whole integrated management systems webapp.

two unread emails:
- from HR: please fill out our anonymous survey
- from Boss: don't forget about the survey, HR said you are the last one from our team

You ever just get pissed at everything?

I find myself wanting to pick a fight about everything today. Little stupid things just setting me off. Just rage...

My head also a feels a bit fuzzy. Also tinnitus is fucking loud today.

Fuck off world!

Sudden call/meeting to do debugging or live coding of projects I already forgot how it works 😅

1) Never be afraid to ask questions.

There are so many instances of situations where assumptions have been made that shouldn’t have been made, resulting in an oversight that could have been rectified earlier in a process and wasn’t.

Just because no one’s asking a question doesn’t mean you’re the only person who has it.

That being said, it’s really important to figure out how to ask questions. Provide enough context so that the audience for your question understands what you’re really asking. If you’re trying to troubleshoot a problem, list out the steps you’ve already tested and what those outcomes were.

2) When you’ve learned something, try to write about it. Try to break it down as though you were explaining it to a child. It’s through breaking down a concept into its most simple terms that you really know that you understand it.

3) Don’t feel like you have to code *all of the time*. Just because this is what you’re doing for a living doesn’t mean that you have to make it your life. Burnout is real, and it happens a lot faster if it’s all you do.

4) Find hobbies outside of tech!

5) Network. There are a number of great communities. I volunteer for and am a member of Virtual Coffee, and can vouch for that community being particularly friendly and approachable.

6) Don’t let a company pay you less than industry standard and convince you that they’re doing you the favor of employing you.

7) Negotiate salary. Always.

8) If you’re a career transitioner, don’t be afraid to talk about your previous work and how it gave you experience that you can use in programming. There’s a whole lot of jobs that require time management, multi-tasking, critical thinking, etc. Those skills are relevant no matter where you got them.

9) If it takes a while for you to get a gig, it’s not necessarily a reflection on you or your abilities.

10) Despite what some people would say, coding’s not for everyone. Don’t feel like you have to continue down a road just because you started walking down it. Life’s not a straight path.

ghost colleagues. they don't answer texts, you don't even know if they're alive

could'nt build my react app, didn't understand the error Module not found: Error: Can't resolve '.... app.css'

worked on my macbook, didn't on my ubuntu server, took me 3 days until I realised the css file is named App.css and not app.css

wtf apple, wtf me

A colleague blocked a full big refactoring to go live just because there were missing marker interface which they wanted to be implemented by any other interface which was actually part of the core functionality. A marker interface...a marker interface...

P.S. we can't merge stuff on main branch if a team member vetos

Is it normal to have to sit in hours upon hours of handover sessions for a spaghetti software solution?

There's no documentation, we have to create it, hence the hours upon hours of handover sessions.

I'm so fucking burned out from the past two weeks' meetings.