Let's Americanize idioms:
1. Break the ice — Open the wallet
2. Bite the bullet — Pay the price
3. Hit the nail on the head — Count the exact change
4. Let the cat out of the bag — Drop a dime
5. Piece of cake — Easy money
6. Costs an arm and a leg — Break the bank
7. Under the weather — In the red
8. The ball is in your court — The check is in your hands
9. Burn the midnight oil — Spend the last dollar
10. Hit the sack — Cash in for the night
11. Barking up the wrong tree — Investing in a bad stock
12. When pigs fly — When money grows on trees
13. Kick the bucket — Cash out
14. Spill the beans — Drop a coin
15. Break a leg — Make a fortune
16. Pull someone's leg — Shortchange someone
17. Once in a blue moon — Once in a financial windfall
18. A blessing in disguise — A hidden treasure
19. The best of both worlds — A double dividend
20. Caught between a rock and a hard place — Between a loan and a hard debt

Isn’t it so

Turns out shouting “license and registration!” before mag dumping wasn’t a good idea

Inside yesterday's kiki dream, I woke up from a kiki dream and tried to explain it to my wife

So yeah, behold. Tomorrow you'll witness the first kiki dream seen within a kiki dream.

Why is American culture so money-centric?
Instead of “he's not believing me” they say “he's not buying it”. Also, “put your money where your mouth is” and “don't let your mouth write checks your ass can't cash.”

A chemical reaction between helium and krypton is impossible, but if you force it, the byproduct will be a single atom of barium with the diameter of roughly the earth orbit. It will blink in and out of existence, taking everything it covered with it. Yes, including the sun itself.

His backpack started to immediately get heavier and heavier, and it became apparent that lesbian lesbian lesbian lesbian lesbian lesbian lesbian lesbian lesbian lesbian lesbian lesbian lesbian lesbian lesbian lesbian lesbian lesbian lesbian lesbian lesbian lesbian lesbian lesbian lesbian lesbian lesbian lesbian lesbian lesbian lesbian lesbian lesbian lesbian lesbian lesbian lesbian lesbian lesbian lesbian lesbian lesbian lesbian lesbian lesbian lesbian lesbian lesbian lesbian lesbian lesbian lesbian lesbian lesbian

A human is but a set of diagnoses driven by the fear of death.

You know how in F1 they give one cup to the winner and one to whoever designed their car? Let's do the same for the Olympics! One medal to the athlete, and the one to whoever designed the shit he injected before the event.

Isn’t it weird how a paper notebook is more private than anything you type on a computer, despite the complete lack of encryption? You don’t control what happens to your CPU under the hood, and you never had that control.

If codeine drips from her pussy, we call her Portable Wikipedia.

Foxes are trans. They’re dogs with cat firmware who thus identify and behave like cats

this Carter guy is now old enough to run for president!

If you’re sentenced to life in prison, you can’t escape and you can’t kill yourself, would you rather go to American technocratic panopticon hell like ADX Florence (think El Chapo’s cell) or Madagascar’s Antananarivo shithole?

mmmmmmm olives

After devRant, kiwifarms and every *chan imageboard feel like safe spaces.

I’m writing a short story about Claire and Git. It doesn’t end well.

I live in an actively hostile body

an invaluable object made by your people within the borders of your country: *exists*
uk: oh, for me? you shouldn't have.

I’m sixteen. You’re fifteen. Your home is a brothel, my home is hell. There is no war in sight yet. I don’t have bipolar. I don’t have scars.
Let’s have some fun!

Tailwind is what happened when a Perl dev looked at CSS and said “I can fix it!”

ahem…

In the early 2010s, at select locations, Nokia Oro phone was offered bundled with a portable IPL hair removal device. Its enclosure was made entirely of leather, layers upon layers of compacted leather of different kinds. It gave you access to Queer Mode™ — engage it and have sex with any of your thoughts. Your mind was your oyster, but it was in fact being turned into a two-bedroom all-white apartment designed by Karim Rashid.

As the tech was getting older, the only way to source capacitors was syncing your Alienware table clock with the root node using a non-laptop that had shapeshifting black goo for keyboard.

Small puppy that ran Windows 8 was always smothered in shit. The white non-kitten ran Nokia’s version of QNX.

Your tech will power off forever after two years of warranty is over. You agreed to that, it was in terms and conditions.

If you don’t know Linux, you’re stupid.
If you don’t know macOS, macOS is stupid.

This is why I don’t drink

The main maintainer of libadwaita — the library Gnome is built on — is an autistic trans girl from Russia.

https://mk.nyaa.place/@alice

damn girl, you’re so basic your ph is 12

My brain overheated again. with my autistic empathy cranked to 11, I’m now feeling sorry for a js service worker because browser puts it to sleep when it wants to, and it has to call waitUntil to ask the browser not to
I’m about to cry

What you like in products is what other humans like, because you're a human. Corporate money-making strategies are inherently anti-human. Thus, sooner or later, they will remove every feature you liked and replace it with bs

There are only two kinds of open source projects:
1. Short, all-lowercase, starts with “lib”, written in C, obscure author, used by 80% of the electronic devices on earth and in space, the modern civilization as we know it will collapse immediately should this library disappear
2. Name that tells you nothing, readme has the “Philosophy” section and emojis, written in JavaScript, author has 20k Twitter followers and 50k GitHub stars. When you run it, your laptop’s coolers start spinning like crazy
3. Common Lisp