What’s your “completely break KDE Plasma beyond repair while never leaving their GUI settings panel” speedrun record? Mine is 8 minutes. That’s four times as long as my usual sex!

Everything is a fucking text.

BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR BLUR

S/HE IS HER/E

At the end of the avenue, lived its creator. Well, used to leave. The weird half-house is hoarded, and his skeleton is there somewhere.

When flying above, I noticed a small enclave with fancy but small buildings. I put on my cloak and landed.
“What is it? It’s easier to answer what it is not”.
The hatch opened. I went in, about 30 meters. The hatch closed behind me. The tube-powered holographic screen lit up. “I think the secrets of the universe is more important than knowing today's weather”, she said, smiling.

I put on a blueprint of their superbug. Incurable, it had molecular ammo on it.
“Thanks”, I said, leaving. “Forgive my autistic antics. As for my cat, well, they copy their owners’ behavior, don’t they?”
And I took off.

I finally got some tattoos. I don’t know why, but all of them were about menstruation.
“I don’t want to let _him_ into our tattoo life club!”, my cousin said.
I then connected our M1A1 Abrams to a military tablet I stole from the avenue creator. “What’s that?”, my uncle said. “It’s the fourth time already that I get us new fiber optic cable. Think about my father! He’s dying!”
I hug my cousin. She was already dead.

This is why I’m stuck here. In the middle of nowhere, in a rusted trailer, naked, eating uncooked human meat from a dog bowl.

Every religion's idea of heII paIes in comparison to what one man can do to another man. “If there is a God, He will have to beg for my forgiveness.” This is a quote etched on the wall, inside one of the Mauthausen concentration camp cells.

Programmers are freaks with three limbs and square heads. During your fiery conference speech, as the crowd laughs, one filth, who is your manager, tells another filth, who is someone else’s manager: “Look, this is my mule. Can code many hours. Don’t has to pay many moneys. My mule is more good than your mule. In Bangalore, they ask very many moneys for this mule.”
And you know damn well that when in Bangalore they ask less, you’re gone in a flick of a pen. Your company sent you to give this talk. Meetup? No, just a freak show for mules. Is it a dick measuring contest for investors? No, not at all. As you speak, this filth is fucking his secretary in Aruba while his wife is dying of cancer in Miami. And the supreme filth, the one that has no eyes and no mouth? It grins. Go mule, spaces versus tabs. Vim versus Emacs. Linux versus macOS. Divide and conquer.

All brand new tech products are a scam. They lose half of their value when you open the box.

Buy used. It’s better for both your wallet and the environment. After a month of use, your brand new thing would’ve looked similar anyway. Yes, you lose the unboxing experience when you buy used, but it’s nothing but a consumption addiction reinforcement.

If it doesn't work, it doesn't matter how fast it doesn't work.

If you ever decide to become a manager, I hope every time you sit down, your chair makes a farting sound, but just once, so you can’t repeat it to demonstrate that it was in fact your chair and not yourself.

Have legal troubles in the UK? Scammed someone? Messed with the wrong person? Facing charges and a lengthy jail time? No problem! Go and touch some children. UK protects pedos at all costs, so you’ll immediately be pardoned. Maybe they’ll even give you a medal.

Kiki’s meme of the day

Kiki’s meme of the day

Lmao u don’t say
Pwned

It’s true and you know it

Alright fellow sweaty programmers, mama Kiki is here to teach you the basics of hygiene.

TEETH
- If you have a toothpaste prescription, use it.
- Every single whitening toothpaste is a scam. Don’t use them.
- Every single over-the-counter toothpaste that decreases sensitivity does work. If your teeth are sensitive, use it.
- Otherwise, buy the cheapest name-brand toothpaste.
- Use dental floss. As long as it’s flat and waxed, the cheapest one will do.
- When flossing, never move the floss back and forth as if you try to saw through your gums. Just put the floss in, then out. Repeat if necessary.
- Don’t put your toothpaste on your toothbrush. Put a small amount of it directly in your mouth with a bit of water. Close your mouth and spread toothpaste all over your teeth using a rinsing motion, as if it was mouthwash. Now your teeth are completely covered.
- When brushing teeth, don’t use -90°/0°/90° angles. Use -35°/35°. This way you will spend less time while getting better cleansing. Bristle ends should touch where your teeth meet your gums.
- Get yourself a tongue scrubber. Scrub your tongue until what comes off of it is clean. Dirty tongue is why your breath smells bad, not dirty teeth.
- After you’re done, don’t rinse! Spit the toothpaste out, but let its residue stay there. The remineralization process is now started. If you follow the routine, you don’t need mouthwash at all.
- Drinking/eating sugary things, not washing your teeth and going straight to bed is the best way to get cavities ASAP. In your mouth, sugar quickly turns into the kind of acid that we use for soldering. It can strip the oxide layer off of copper. Do you know how after you drink Coke, your teeth become almost squeaky clean? That’s this. If you like sugary drinks, carefully drink them using a straw. Rinse immediately after you’re done drinking & eating.

SHAVING
- Get yourself an old-school safety T-razor, the one that takes suicide blades. It will last a lifetime. Mühle and Merkur are good manufacturers (not affiliated). Once you have it, for the rest of your life, you will only buy blades. This is the most environmentally friendly way to get a clean, close shave. Electric razors save water, but they often contain batteries.
- Because of how violently electric razor’s blades hit hair while cutting it, they chip your hair. This leads to your freshly grown hair being sharp, rough and unpleasant to the touch. The manual razor, on the other hand, produce clean edges. When your hair grows back, it will be softer than what you get with an electric razor.
- Feather brand blades (not affiliated) are the sharpest in the world. The sharper the blade, the less traumatic it is. Watch T-razor tutorials on YouTube. There are different shaving techniques that will get you a killer shave.
- T-razor blades last considerably longer than their modern soyboy single-use counterparts.
- Because of a single blade construction, T-razor almost never leaves irritation.
- Basically, modern single-use plastic blades are horrible for the environment, and they’re almost a scam for how much you get for your money. They’re only rivaled by printer ink. Use them only for intimate shaving, as they’re considerably handier down there.
- Always shave after hot shower.
- Before shaving, dry the skin surface. Apply shaving foam on dry skin only, as it contains chemicals that make your hair softer. When diluted, they’re not as effective, and shaving unsoftened hair is almost always unpleasant and dangerous.
- After applying the foam, wait about a minute for the foam to work. If the skin gets irritated, don’t wait for as long, or perhaps try a different foam brand.
- Before shaving, thoroughly clean your razor with hand sanitizer or ethanol. Ideally, it should be sterile. Using boiling hot water is also a good option, just be careful with it.
- After shaving, rinse off foam, immediately dry your skin with a clean towel, then apply aftershave. After applying it, don’t touch your skin until it completely dries. If you follow this routine, your skin won’t get any pimples, guaranteed.
- Scrubs won’t help you. Don’t use them.

More in the comments!

If your language requires semicolons, I’m not using it
Sorrii 😘

Kidnapping and torture are the worst crimes one can commit. If it was up to me, both would amount to life in prison without parole, no exceptions.

Kiki’s meme of the day

under your rights stood girls who threw bricks at cops
Iearn

How fast is Google Docs and how slow is Notion highlights the difference between real six figures engineers who know their shit and wannabe JavaScript hipsters.

Celebrities were randomly offered a drug that, when ingested, teleported you to a Dark Souls-style fighting ring. Out-of-bounds 5-meter-tall abominations, one of which was Stretch Armstrong named Arnold (based on Arnold Schwarzenegger), were pounding on you really hard. If you survived, you would wake up as if nothing had happened. If you died, your reality was altered to be exactly the same, except one thing: a $100 bill now featured an actor that looked like a child of Nicolas Cage, Tupac Shakur and the guy from the PhilipSoloTV YouTube channel. His name was Dubius Building. He always wore a suit that was a bit too large for him, and had his signature half-smile. Everyone used to love him in the early 00s.

Little did they knew, the competition was rigged from the start. Abominations were invincible all along.

Fucking search bars. It seems like no one is interested in making search on their website actually work. It always gives me some random shit all while missing relevant results I can find myself by scrolling through menus. It’ll miss stuff even while searching the exact subtext. Every. Single. Time.
If it’s not an open source library’s docs with Algolia, you can forget about their search bar.

Kiki's meme of the day

DREAM DREAM DREAM DREAM DREAM DREAM DREAM DREAM DREAM DREAM DREAM DREAM DREAM DREAM DREAM DREAM DREAM DREAM DREAM DREAM DREAM DREAM DREAM DREAM DREAM DREAM DREAM DREAM DREAM DREAM DREAM DREAM DREAM DREAM DREAM DREAM DREAM DREAM DREAM DREAM DREAM DREAM DREAM DREAM DREAM DREAM DREAM DREAM DREAM DREAM DREAM DREAM DREAM DREAM DREAM DREAM DREAM DREAM DREAM DREAM DREAM DREAM DREAM DREAM DREAM DREAM DREAM DREAM DREAM DREAM DREAM DREAM DREAM DREAM DREAM DREAM DREAM DREAM DREAM DREAM DREAM DREAM DREAM DREAM DREAM DREAM DREAM DREAM DREAM DREAM

Any HHKB users here?

Bitwarden’s brand new native iOS and Android apps now available in beta:
https://bitwarden.com/blog/...
Dig the UX so far.

Pre-Soviet poster:
“Young negro's first misfortune”
— Why are you crying, little boy?
— Well, my parents caught a tourist, cooked him and promised to give me his brain. But now they're telling me he had no brain — he was pro-October revolution!

Kiki's meme of the day

I used to be a digital minimalist, and now my iPhone has every single app I know of. Minimalism is all fun and games until you're travelling somewhere out of your gated community where minimalism works, and suddenly you HAVE to have some popular filthy app, but you don't have it. You try to download it, and of fucking course your internet connection sucks ass, it's getting late, people are waiting for you, your phone starts to overheat and lag, all while you try to sign in to damn app. Its predatory algorithms detect an uNuSuAl LoGiN aTtEmPt and shadowban you, so confirmation emails/SMS won't come.

Just because of how sudden those things are, and because of how stressful it is to my autistic brain, I downloaded and signed in to everything I can think of.

…except TikTok. There are things I just won't do no matter what.

Kiki’s meme of the day