Being a programmer is basically like seeing all the cool tech that you always wanted to work with slip right out of your fucking hands and being replaced by an old system that bad programmers have managed to fuck up completely beyond saving. It’s like watching a bunch of monkeys trying to create a human out of decaying flesh, but when you question them, they look at you weird. It’s like wanting to create all these crazy cool animations and innovative experiences, but you end up spending most of your time trying to get a fucking image to line up correctly in marketing emails. My pride has been stripped from me.

This is true tbh

While I was working with my Android project that is written on Kotlin. One of my on non-tech colleague came and saw my screen and

said "Why are you overriding fun"

I replied him that we just not override fun we also have private fun and public fun.

Is it not funny translating code to real English 😂😂😂

Nose picking manager.
I mean this fucker picks his nose even when he’s talking face to face,
And am not talking about just cleaning it,am talking about putting the finger in all the way and probably trying to dial a number...

My boss asked me if he could smoke one before starting the interview. So I went down with him and lighted one up as well. Then we started to talk as if we were friends since years after I told him I like to drink alcohol from time to time (he asked :D) . Afterwards he just asked me if I know Java and stuff and I was like "sure ez pz". We still have drinking competitions on every company event. Best boss ever

And the award for the most fitting ad placement goes to...

FUCK HELL YEAH! I'm done with my FUCKING THESIS! I just handed it in - that filthy time eating piece of blood sucking papershit! God yes! I'm proud and relieved as fuck!

Got really sick as well! Fuck the stress! Fuck everything. I'm just gonna play Witcher 3 all day long with some nice cup of tea !

Declare variables not wars,
Build packages not walls,
Execute programs not people,
Throw exceptions not stones.

I played a lot of Command & Conquer when I was younger, and I remember going through the files for C&C: Red Alert. I found one that had all the units names and properties, and wondered what happened if I changed a value. So I changed grenadiers attack speed to something ridiculously fast, and found that it actually changed it in the game!

The light bulb went off in my head, and I then created new units:
- Albert Einstein that shot electricity
- Attack dogs that launched missiles

Granted the animations didn't exist for these so it defaulted to playing their death animations when attacking, which was amusing.

That was the ah-ha moment for me that lead me to pursue programming. It was just so much fun!

Started programming in BASIC when I was 11 (back in 1979) on a Tandy TRS-80, then onto Sinclair's machines (ZX81, Spectrum), then BBC Micro, Commodore Amiga, PCs, onto Macs and here we are! 😂

Started at the age of 6 by doing simple calculator on zx-spectrum. Tho that's just a joke, not a professional experience. Somewhat serious project was started with PHP, without even knowing the language/theory/databases.... After that years have passed and now I can call myself: professional self-taught programmer.

Hello my fellow devs.

I just joined devRant.