Hey, i want to make a game and i need some help, so I'm looking for a team.

What i need is:
2 programmers
3 graphics artists
2 level designers
1 music composer
2 dialog writers
1 web designer for page and forums
5 testers

What i will do, you ask? Well, I've got some really good ideas. I think the game should be like Final Fantasy, but bigger and better. I worked with RPG Maker for two months, but I'm best with ideas. I think my ideas would make some incred...

GO SHOVE YOUR IDEAS INTO YOUR ASS! The idea means nothing. I got an idea for the best game ever, right this morning while i was taking a SHIT!

Hobby teams need people who create content. And people who can do stuff will more likely work with someone who does stuff as well and has proven that he is able to get things done.

Getting married to a female dev sounds cool, until she starts setting up a trello board for house tasks.🙅

When you don't pay your full stack developers

I am Computer Science Student
Yesterday I asked question to my classmates, what is Linux,

here's some(non-forgettable) replays:

3- An App
2- A Soap
1- Game character

and most (suggest me..a word) :

0- Linux Crackers(Food)

and that guy sent me this..

WHAT THE FUCK

Interviewer asked "Write SOMETHING on the board"

I wrote "Something"

My classmate accidentally deleted Recycle bin shortcut from her PC, i was starring at her, she grab my pendrive, ran to libraries Computer, copied recycle bin, and pasted it in her desktop,

And last but not least... She got Job in Oracle.

Just boring time at Market, oh wait..!!

Literally Crushed her with candy...

We're not a family of devs. So the situation may seem weird to them.

My sister saw me doing the rubber duck debugging and venting my programming frustration with an innocent little duck. Eye-to-eye. And now, she thinks i'm in need of serious help.

Who Is Who

➡ A Project Manager is the one who thinks 9 women🙍 can deliver a baby in 1 month.👶

➡ An Onsite Coordinator is the one who thinks 1 woman can deliver 9 babies in 1 month.👶

➡ A Developer is the one who thinks it will take 18 months to deliver 1 baby.🙇

➡ A Marketing Manager is the one who thinks he can deliver a baby even if no man and women are available.👷

➡ A Client is the one who doesn’t know why he wants a baby.👶

➡ A Tester is the one who always tells his wife that this is not the right baby. 🚶

Don't be shy.. Comment which 'who' are you..😂

How do i learn coding in single night? - someone asked me.

I gently replied : Pack your Laptop, and travel to North Pole in beginning of winter, you'll have 6 month of night to learn coding.

Once there - really just Google it there are tons of Excellent tutorials on web.

Here's my piece of advice for new devs out there:

1 - Pick one language to learn first and stick with it, untill you grasp some solid fundamentals. (Variables, functions, classes, namespaces, scope, at least)

2 - Pick an IDE, and stick with it for now. Don't worry about tools yet. Comment everything you're coding. The important thing is to comment why you wrote it, and not what it does. Research git and start using version control, even when coding by yourself alone.

3 - Practice, pratice and pratice. If you got stuck, try reading the language docs first and see if you can figure it out yourself. If all else fails, then go to google and stackoverflow. Avoid copying the solution, type it all and try to understand it.

4 - After you feel you need to go to the next level, research best practices first, and start to apply them to your code. Try to make it modular as it grows. Then learn about tools, preprocessors and frameworks.

5 - Always keep studying. Never give up. We all feel that we have no idea of what we are doing sometimes. That's normal. You will understand eventually. ALWAYS KEEP STUDYING.

Web devs are like autocorrect:
- You're needed but never told you are
- You're great at your job, but everyone complains about your few faults
- You learn more as you work with the client
- You improve little by little every day
- Your buttons are pushed a lot
- You use new technologies when you can

I like you if you're not a dev.

I like you if you're a dev.

I don't like you if you're not a dev but you try to act one.

*during my final job interview*

*holding the folder that contains my cv*
interviewer: Wait, before I open this I would like to guess which position you're applying to.
me: Hmm okay sir? Which position?
interviewer: I see you're applying as a back-end developer?
me: Yes sir, I am.
interviewer: Aha! That's because you have a long hair? Like it is a requirement for every devs to grow their hair?
me: *laughs* i think so?
interviewer: Well our devs here also has long hair. You'll meet 'em soon.
...

That sets the mood of my interviewing process that leads me the job offer. LOL.

When the internet breaks down, us web devs don't know what to do. 😂 Yay for early lunch!

Pretty useful error message

When trying to add comment on a rant.

Latest facebook for iOS update is 219 mega-fucking-bytes. Yet, no real changelog to tell me what da fuck changed!!!!!! Fuck that developer for real!!!

I broke up with my Girlfriend at restaurant and She started crying, everyone thought i had proposed so they started Clapping. 😂🤣😎

😥 Also their rep system is so mucked up

I: "Do you have the right version for your architecture?"
He: "What"
I: "Did you download the 64 bit or the 32 bit version?"
He: "I'm not sure but I think it was sth. between 40 and 50!"

When system smells that you're in hurry...

Applies to a lot of people..

Also, I really want to dual boot Manjaro, but every time something gets messed up :/

And beware to go close to cell during internet outrage..
They become restless and violent.

I was registering for a website, and on a whim, I used this as my username:
null'); PRINT('Hello');--

And sure enough, the login system went down. The next day it was still down, so I went to Twitter to tell the people running the site that this was why, but to my surprise, I see them saying they had been hacked.
Based on the timing, I'm pretty sure they're referring to this, but they are saying user info was stolen. *facepalm*
They later said they stored passwords salted with a fixed salt and hashed with fucking md5, at which point I was glad not to have done any more business with them.

How incompetent can these fucking people be?!

Fuck the incompetent and "pretentious psuedo devs" !!

I have been developing a web portal for a student club for this really big company (as intern) and then they assign this fuckin group of these 4 stupid intern devs to work with me !

The fuckin tweked my code and redirected the CONTACT FORM to the fuckin LOGIN CONTROLLER !!

Then these sons of Einstein inserted dummy users without a username and password into the fuckin production site !!

Now each fukin time someone submits contact form is redirected into some random user account !!

Who the fuck needs Hackers when we have these legendary coders -_-

Wierd Domains Game

Like: pornhub + StackOverflow
PornOverflow.Com

Add your entry in comment.

Winner will be get 1 domain + 1 year hosting

True Af😂

!rant, Congratulations

yeah, sometimes I'm like that too...

I'll probably die sleeping!!

Dedicated to All Programmers Who hate Testers

Just wrote little poem. for my girlfriend

How to hide your important files from people without making Hidden folders

1. Go to Desktop and create anew folder

2. Name the folder Internet Explorer

3. Change the folder icon to Internet Explorer

4. Keep it in a corner of the desktop

Now, no one will open internet explorer :D

Comment your ideas...

Senior devs out there, please be supportive to juniors. Don't treat them bad just because they don't know as much as you do. Guide them and help them learn and grow as devs. That'll make your company (and/or the community) a better place to work at, because everyone will be a better dev, and you might learn and grow in the process as well.

- so you're still a programmer?
- uhm yeah?
- ok listen I need to make a video where there are two pictures that moves in different directions bla bla bla bla ...

First time I've seen an app which willingly, intelligently, and sensibly turns off its own daily notifications after I never used their app for many many weeks.

Props to the devs for taking into account people like me,who are just too lazy to disable an app's notifications. Also Enki is absolutely incredible for devs so go check it out :D

My friend just send me this...and i think you guys must watch this two movies.. Comment. Who will win??

The amount of rants on here I see of 'Devs' complaining that other non-tech people aren't knowledgable/ can't understand 'simple' explanations / etc and are mean, or even cruel to those non-techy people is alarming.

Just because you've spent a lot of time on something youre interested in, doesn't mean:
A. Everyone else is interested in it.
B. Everyone knows everything about it.

These 'Devs' are the reason most Universities require mandatory social classes so they can make sure you can talk to people in a nice manner and get your point across.

Majority of the time I need to explain a concept I find simple or I know to someone, I try to find an analogy about something both parties know. I know that pulling the documentation information and giving to them will just result in more questions and they won't understand.

You just gotta know how to talk to people without getting angry at them for being who they are, human.

String TLDR = "Don't be a dick because someone doesn't know something you do"

We are your humble servants

Hhhmmmmmmm a useless piece of shit like always it is then

After Hours of Coding.. I'm finally get in bed, but my mind can't overcome from fucking code and i can't sleep.
I don't know how to take proper and quick sleep after programming without taking any pills. Another side effect is after started programming 18 hr /day I'm losing my memory power, and can't remember some things properly.

And yes this image is Worth something to me... It describes my current situation.

Just one word

HELP !

The BUTT analogy
HTML - plain simple butt
CSS - sprinkle some hairs on it
JS - farting butt

Why are devs so fixated on other devs' IDE, OS, programming style and chair choices??

Imagine if every sports player would comment on the way the other walks, bats, the colour of their shoes!

Devs are a bit picky don't you think?

Have guys ever thought that all te devs are vampires...
reason 1: Loves Darkness (dark theme)
reason 2: Most active during the night
reason 3: If the dev finds a capable victim then they can make them fellow dev.

And let's change that IDE theme to something brighter while we're at it...

that moment when you are in bed with your smartphone and it smashes on your face, then you know: it's time to sleep

When you show DEMO to Clients and it Crashes..

DEMOCRACY....

Some devs want to see the world burn

<meta-rant>

Am I the only dev who gets bugged when I see the common "a semi-colon just cost me 45 minutes!" joke, or similar?

Any modern IDE or text editor will show you syntax errors immediately, and even if they didn't you can usually resolve them in under a minute.

rubber ducking your hobby...

When you are given a task or bugs to fix and your boss will tell you everytime that, "this is so easy this will be done in just 3 seconds".

WTF! Then don't hire devs and do it yourself! And start fixing all the damn bugs in just 3 seconds yourself! There are 28800 seconds in whole fucking 8 hours, I guess if we divided it by 3 you can finish a task or fix a bug at approximately 9600! (Applause) Now we are silently calling him "The 3 seconds man'.

!rant

Let's take a moment to appreciate interested and enthousiastic non-developers who really want to learn a programming language.

I am studying Medical IT at my college and most of my classmates aren't coming from an IT background.
We're currently working with Java, PHP, JavaScript and some require Node for their semester projects.

Some of my classmates approach me when they're stuck while coding and I try to teach them as much as possible so they understand what they are doing wrong and how to fix it.
I also show them how they can optimise their code step by step and they love it!

As a classmate told me yesterday:
"It's always so much fun working with you. I come up with a small problem, but I end up learning so much more about programming when solving a problem with you. I appreciate that."

It's a mindset I've learned when I was doing my developer apprenticeship back in the day. One of my colleagues told me: "if they want your help because they need a quick fix, tell them to kiss your ass. If you know they've already tried everything they could and ask you specifically because they want to understand what they are doing wrong, they are future developers with great potential, so go teach them."

May the force be with you, my enthousiastic little non-devs ❤️

I’ve begun to notice a distinct pattern with devs. I realise it has probably always been there but Im just thinking out loud as Ive started to actively notice it.

*Dev has literally one problem with a library/framework/environment*

“Holy crap <NAME> is the worst thing ever!! its actually worse than an STD. whoever made it needs to quit making software and become a goat farmer” (paraphrasing of course)

What is it with us that the second we have difficulty with a library or framework we immediately brand it as a cancerous polyp on the anus of humanity?

✔️ Every time you build a to-do list app, a puppy 🐕 dies 😢

I work in an unrelated field, and code in my spare time as I'm just starting out. Have to pay tbe bills somehow, amirite?

So my boss has installed cameras "for security", and uses them to monitor staff on a regular basis. A couple months ago he pulled me aside with a piece of paper. My "second written warning" (next step prior to dismissal) however I haven't received any other disciplinary action.

The warning contained 10 points, all of which made reference to observances over the damn cameras.

Please keep in mind -- I have been an overachieving empleyee for over 5 years, and friends with the bosses the whole time. My boss was in my wedding party.

Nice one

Turn up to interview the customary 15 minutes early.

Get sent to small room under stairs by building reception enter small room to discover about 30 Devs sat practically on each others laps. One notices me and guides me back to building reception then goes to get interviewer.

20 mins past appointment interviewer finally appears and walks me to his personal office (bigger than the room for all the Devs)

Interviewer: so what do you know about the company.

Me: recite company website and trading history, size, turnover etc from official submitted company docs

Interviewer: no your wrong

Me: so what do you do then because the links to your website came from your recruiter.

Interviewer: verbatim all the details I've just told him.
Then shows me the door with the words ' I won't interview someone who doesn't know the company'.

Thanks to all the sys admins and devs keeping the internet up and running through the holidays. It's a crazy time of year and I'm sure it only means more work for a lot of you at an already stressful time. So thanks again for being the glue holding it all together; we really appreciate your work 🍻

FUCK DEVS WHO DO NOT ACTUALLY LIKE CODING AND JUST DO IT FOR THE MONEY. YOU IDIOTS(or at least 17 of you) ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR THE UTTER GARBAGE SPAGHETTI I'M DEALING WITH!

GO DIE IN HELL YOU MOTHERFUCKERS, CODE FROM PASSION NOT JUST FOR MONEY OR YOU'LL GET DUCKTAPED FLAMING PILES OF JENGA GARBAGE YOU CALL APIs!
COME TO ME RIGHT NOW, WHERE YOU'LL SUCK MY DICK, BEFORE I'LL KILL YOU WITH A CACTUS AND BLEACH.
OH, AND DON'T BEG FOR ANYONE FOR MERCY, YOU'LL GET NOTHING!

I've decided that whenever a non technical person be it a client or a non technical PM tells me it's easy or tells me it'll take only x hours, I'm going to tell them to either do it themselves, or let me do my estimate calculation. You don't fucking understand one line of what I do yet you can magically calculate the amount of time I'll take on the task? No fucking thank you sir.

Lets check out the dev in you.

Problem: Print "Hello World" in C in such a way that you cannot use any semicolon anywhere in the program.

Try this without using internet.

Hint: You only need to know basics of C.

Wicked!

devRant Devs, if you're reading this, thank you for enabling the existence of this community.

No grandpa, I don't scam people online. I am a web developer - I earn my living online, building web apps, plugins, etc. (and stuff that you won't really grasp). And again, stop telling people that I'm lazy - I don't watch movies on my computer from 8AM-5PM. Lovely grandma, please don't believe him.

Don't you hate it when coffee makes you go to the bathroom instead of giving you energy?

All Devs must have

My code is not working, why?

Pet peeve #149:
Use Fibonacci sequence to indent your code.

Just thinking about the world without stack overflow. 🤔

Next Level.

Indian software/hardware devs have a horrible reputation, at least here in europe.
My, my father and every dev I know have had horrible experiences with Indian dev work(both as colleagues of my father and contractors); horrible Spaghetti code that perfoms like shit, crappy pcb layouts prone to failure and much more. All made by people with shiny diplomas.

I'd like to know why this is the case, especially becauseany devRanters are Indians.

Now everybody on devrant has an angry face.

Haha ❤

folks....do you agree with this ?

Same here, kid. Same here.

When your daily average user numbers are just a little too good to be true.

Top 5 World’s Most Hated Programming Languages

1. Perl

2. Delphi

3. VBA

4. Objective-C

5. PHP

Which one do you hate most?

!rant
I damn love devs. The humor, the devs easter eggs...

Have you ever wondered what 'git' stands for?
try 'man git' ;)

logical operated beer - welcome to the engineering office!

When You Write approx 1000 lines of code without save, and then kernal panic... I'm exhausted 😑

Finally my Dragon laid Egg...

Finished Graduation 2 Months ago

Bachelor's in Computer Science,

Still Jobless..

I was once using an app, made by my friend which could be used as a handy reference for programming topics. It crashed every time i clicked the last entry of the list. I told him that the app has a bug, probably some position mistake and he denied, saying that he doesn't need feedback from a guy who didn't code applications. I learned to code java and started android that night and knew I needed to give him a reply, a good one.

My interview,

Introduction round.
Basic information round.
General Aptitude test.

Technical round 1
Technical round 2

Telephonic round
Telephonic technical round

And now i asked them for the results of my interview.
They told me to arrange another FUCKING TECHNICAL ROUND.

WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON.
IT'S BEEN FUCKING 2 MONTHS SINCE I'M GIVING INTERVIEWS..

I'm literally exhausted. And it looks like they are completing their project for free.

Am I the only one who keeps adding articles to pocket and seldom checks it

Procrastination..

I mean literally.

this is just stupid

I think the massive collaboration projects like VS Code are awesome.

A free product that is customizable beyond imagination and constantly being updated and improved by those who use it daily.

The capability of thousands of devs making something together is sweet!!

got given the job of removing a menu link on a site my company hadn't built today.

biggest pile of dung ever! the site had folders for 5 different back end languages all full of random files not in use.

I dug around and found it was using a big framework that produces a massive single variable and outputs it as the page.

Eventually I realised this wasn't in use either but was still being loaded in the site! in fact the site even has a database and an admin login but the stupid original dev hard coded all the content in and runs includes to files in the admin folder directly from config!

such a confusing, pointless, shit site! Its like building a car and driving it like Fred from the Flintstones....

Been a while but I'm back with fresh rants.

If you look in my history you will see support wanted us devs to start paying for writing bugs. Now the release presentation has passed but we're still in crunch time because we can't put clients onto the new version yet. And in the meantime our coffee machine broke. So support has started to manually pour coffee, which was actual real nice of them.

Now yesterday I'm in a hurry and the coffee is out so I decide to pour a quick cup for myself with the leftover grounds. When I'm back at my desk I get a call asking if I just made coffee. I'm like yeah something wrong? Proceed to get chewed out for being selfish and that they see how it is with me, then get hung up on before I can even explain.

So yeah not only is my company too cheap to get a new machine, the lack of one causes drama.

Today however our network guy, who was present when my colleagues asked what was with the weird phone call, brought in his own machine and let me have coffee from it. Meanwhile suport can keep their crappy manual pouring. And I don't need to go into their office anymore.

Found this little ascii art for developers on flickr, pretty neat.

My coworker used to write code but never bothered with indents and nests. He got fired for not following the rules of the company. I know this sounds boring but w/e

recently people have been worried about what people were going to say I.e "no hate" , don't hold back!

In devrant we only mean light hearted banter if we are pissed we don't want to hurt you we are pissed at a thing and not directly at you. Not that I speak for dfox or trogus but I'm sure that's what they are going for, and it's what ive seen!

We are nice here... This isn't YouTube , it's a credit to devs we are nice people. Hell it isn't stack overflow!

Also I'm brutally honest at times but I love you really.

What is the laziest that you have done?
I had to transfer some photos from my phone to PC but the USB cable was in the other room, so I uploaded it on my Google drive from my phone and then downloaded it on my PC
:P

PSA to /[devs who things it's a good idea|management who thinks it's a good idea to force your devs]+/g:

There currently exists 1543 (and counting) top level domains. My email addresses follow the pattern: /^[a-z]+@panduro\.guru$/ and I die a little inside whenever I get told my email addresses aren't valid because you thought it was a good idea (to force your devs) to hardcode "valid" top level domains. There is a reason why the filter for input type email does not include top level domains.

And you can't even begin to comprehend how mildly annoyed I get when I message their support and tell them what the problem is (because I'm nice enough to do that) they instead of telling me "thanks for informing us we'll look into it" they tell me "well just get a gmail or something". I should not have to order social status reducing items with my school mail (especially not since I'll loose that email ¾ pairs of years)

Ok going to rant about other developers this time.

Can you please stop doing just the minimal amount of work on your games/apps?!

I understand you may not have the time to go through with a fine tooth comb but just delay it, delay it and finish the product to a state that doesn't feel half assed and broken right at the get go.

A small note that the thing that triggered me with this is Android Devs at the moment, with Google requiring you support the adaptive icons and a newer SDK, so many Devs are just scraping by and putting in no effort to bring things up to date (also put more effort into adaptive icons rather than just putting your old square Icon on a white background)

This shit is just leading to everything being 'early access' or in a constant 'beta' stage with the promise of polish later.

Don't be that guy, put the extra few days of polish in... Just please...

It would be great if there's a feature that you'll see the rants of other devs around your area. Must be exciting, ain't it?

!rant

Love this community, the idea of the app, developers, etc. Thanks everyone for making a home for devs.

P (H | E)

IS NOT

P (E | H)

THANKS BAYES!

My SO got a promotion, and with it he's going to be out of town about every other week.

I told him I'm excited for him, that even though I'll miss him it's a sacrifice I'm happy and willing to make because it's so good for his career, and our future. I don't want him to distracted during his work trips about worries about my unhappiness.

But I miss him and this is so hard actually 😔

WTF MICROSOFT.

I was Compiling app on windows 10, just gone for few mins to grab a coffee and then i saw blue screen with
Updating Windows.

Nobody ask you to do it. You piece of shit.

And that's not all, it even restarted without my permission.

Seriously Fuck you Microsoft

Dev 1: Hey, so people's computers seem to crash when someone tries to use a great deal of CPU power or RAM with a single large process, since we are still severely limited by the state of software/hardware interaction in the 1990s.

Dev 2: Why not set the max clock speed at 60% and then double the price? Nobody will know.

David Attenborough: And at this moment, the modern Macintosh Computer was born.

New year, new bugs

I always hear devs talking about the many ideas they have in their minds to start projects. Am I the only one that can't imagine a project that is really usefull/profitable?

Being 25 and just now getting employable dev etc skills is really quite daunting when you learn of the old geniuses like Bill Joy, Linus, Wozniak and then hear daily stories of 16 year olds doing amazing things.
Inexperience in a field where everyone demands experience is scary. Still excited to see where I Can l can get though.

when you see devs with age <= 16 who look experienced than you and you say to yourself

"Where the fuck have I spent my early life"

I used to work on a production management team, whose job was, among other things, safeguarding access to production. Dev teams would send us requests all the time to, "run a quick SQL script."

Invariably, the SQL would include, "SELECT * FROM db_config."

We would push the tickets back, and the devs would call us, enraged. I learned pretty quickly that they didn't have any real interest in dev, test, or staging environments, and just wanted to do everything in prod, and see if it works.

But they would give up their protests pretty fast when I offered to let them speak to a manager when they were upset I wouldn't run their SQL.

Status: Too less sleep.

One of the most hated things by me in my entire Internet using experience is guys who comment on blogs and forums saying "Pls send me help/full code for this: my email is X and my number is Y"

Grow up guys. The admin is not your slave to send you personal help on an email.

It's so damn embarrassing I'm starting to hate my nationality.

Hello my fellow devs.

I just joined devRant.

Hoo boy, this is a (very) long one, so read at your own risk,

I'd say, don't judge/generalize people biased by the minority that represent the larger group,

But on the other hand, it's very difficult to do so, especially when working in a group consisting of several dozens of people (devs, tech leads, testers, designers, etc), in separate sub groups

Well first, the devs aren't working with the expected atentiveness to quality & detail, I am not in any way the best developer in terms of knowledge, in fact I might be just a mediocre developer compared to the other tech leads or the other fellow developer, but one thing is that I always tried to learn and try my best to do it in the best way I can,

Quite frequently (and from several specific persons only) I had the honor to experience these farce,

Some people just don't want to admit that they are wrong, clear as day, this specific part here is not doing what it's supposed to do due to someone's negligence, and I was trying to find out how it actually works and how can we fix this, that's right, "we", I'm not even pushing anyone to clean up his mistakes alone, I'm also taking part on it because that became my responsibility when I touched that part of the code, and it's my duty to make sure the job is done, and what did they do? Long story short, somehow the guy was getting angry for an unknown reason, then speaking in high tone implying that it's not his problem anymore, passing the responsibility to someone else, and ultimately everyone said I should figure it out by myself, yeah fuck you all, in the end I was very relieved to be moved back to my original squad and not having too much interaction with their group,

Some (probably) less worse occurences are the devs who rush ahead before they code, literally, it's not the usual "code first, think later", it's way more advanced version of it, let's say some tester found a bug, then it's assigned to a developer, the developer doesn't even bother to check the ticket description, only read the vague title, and doesn't even bother to check the actual behavior on the app, suddenly, there's a Pull Request waiting to be merged, it's mind blowing to see how his PR doesn't actually solve anything, in the end, it confuses several reviewers until they actually run it on their local machine and found out that the bug is either has been fixed or not recurring anymore or the fix doesn't do shit, fucking waste of time

And what about the testers? Sure let's not forget the stereotype about devs vs testers and vice versa, but the ones I'm working with is a real piece of work,

I have no problem with the testers who put a lot of bug tickets, or the ones that is very critical in their bugfinding process, at least that means they are doing their job properly, the ones that dotheir job improperly are the ones that ends up wasting everyone's time, just like above

One time, a tester was reporting a certain UI bug, a certain text was overflowing, it's an edge case and was assigned to me since I works mostly on UI,

A day went by with no avail at my attempt to replicate the bug, turns out he was testing it with his personal phone, which was not included in the device requirement for the project nor described in the bug ticket, but since the screen resolution checks out, the bug is considered valid,

Second day went by with no avail of replicating, my time spent trying all kinds of devices, simulators, emulators, until, the 3rd day a very lucky occurence happened with one other testing device, and another tester reported duplicate bug, obviously I borrowed the phone, and inspected every inch of possibilities, until I noticed something, "the font's kinda bigger on this phone" I thought, then I checked the settings, and lo and behold, the bug is caused by the device's font settings, fuck it, and fuck you

Another time was when I'm not sure whether the testers was being lazy or just acting preoccupied with something, when we create a PR, the specific branch must be tested by tester to ensure nothing broke because of the changes, then only when the tester OK'd it, the PR will be merged,

This thing frequently happens, especially when working cross teams, it's as if that the other team's tester is not responsible for my work, eh, here's two middle finger for you, I'll include my toes also, YOU ARE THE ONE REPORTED THE BUG FOR FUCK'S SAKE, and now you act like it's none of your business?, what's so hard about testing one single branch for a single teeny weenie feature and say ok on it, it won't even take 15 minutes, because I can do it in just 10 minutes, but only the testers had the authority to say that a certain PR is good to merge, fuck it

Last, the point above, "only the testers had the authority to say that a certain PR is good to be merged", and they seem to be flaunting it and act like an important person, fuck you

That doesn't cover half of the antics I saw, but whew, it sure is refreshing to finally speak it out

!rant

So here I am, still fresh and new, full of the hope of the infinite world of programming. But I need advice from the senior Devs among you.

How do you divide your time? How do you manage the desire to learn as much as possible with everything else? With life?

I want to be healthy and sociable but I really want to just stay in and programme. I want to be one the best I can possibly be and I don't quite know how to balance it.

Any tips or advice?

*Unrelated image

Someone else likes me the time the whole of Linux.😉 To much love... To much

TIP:

1.1.1.1: the fastest, privacy-first consumer DNS service

I switched to faster DNS,
And believe it or not, it improved my internet speed.

Just add this DNS and you're gonna experience faster browsing

DNS1: 1.1.1.1
DNS2: 1.0.0.1

comment below if you experience it.

[Background]
My father works as a hardware developer in a medium-large company.

We(dad+me) also design and build test equipment to be used at said company.
Usually, these are Arduino controlled pieces of harware. I write the code for these projects.

[END BACKGROUND]

One of these projects had a simple communication system over serial(human readable commands).
I wrote a simple WinForms application (which loads a config XML and has a GUI to send these commands), because appearantly it's too hard for SOFTWARE DEVELOPERS(who are writing code for the device, which the test equipment is for) to use hyperterm(or some other serial monitor) to control it, when given a step by step maunal.

I get complaints, that this application(img) is 'not working' or 'too hard to use'. I works perfectly.
All you have to do is:
1. select com port(to wich the device is connected)
2. press connect; wat until it says "connected" After that, the option to "load config file" unlocks.
3. now, select the file(press '...' for openFileDialog) and press load.
4. Now the deafult settings are send immediatly. You can then, select the options from the list on the left, and change them with the radio buttons. The changes are automatically sent.

All these morons seem to be able to do is:
1. check the "expert mode" checkbox(opens up more options(unnecessary for their use case))
2. mess it up
3. complain

My father often complains, how bad the software devs(at that office) are.
They are (almost all, some exeptions) incompetent pieces of shit from India, who take age to do anything.
I had to look at some CVs and Resumés of them(both SW and HW). ( My father is the team leader and head HW dev and had to hire an HW dev They were full of bullshit and spelling errors, bad language and more.

Tl;Dr; Wrote software for use in my dad's company, software devs to stupid to use it.

You know what kind of devs I hate?
- The "Oh I never worked with it so its shit"
- The "I dont wanna learn something new"
- The "You can use JavaScript for this and everything else"
- The Pro ++ Ultra Dev who never heard of modulization and layering
- The hard coded values guy

Because "Roboto" is my fav 😅

Philosophical question: If you develop an application but no one uses it.. does it even exists?

If devs had a version of cards against humanity I'd imagine that it would look like this😂

Not exactly a co-worker, but one of the devs from the client's team spent a few months working in our office next to us. He would always take a nap at lunch time and snore loudly, and eat an apple afterwards and it seemed to be impossible for him to chew with his mouth closed.

Whenever he had a cold and his nose got blocked he would still force himself to breathe through his nose, so it sounded something like a mix of darth vader and someone drowning.

He also lacked any notion of personal space, and would always sneak behind us to ask questions and then put his laptop right on top of our keyboards or in front of our screens and start talking while we still had headphones on.

I Remember what my senior told me once:

"You know you're in the wrong job when you see source code filled with comments written by ur senior dev scolding other devs for code fuckups"

Get pi-hole...

Well played Samsung....👏🏻

Firebase is pure fucking assrape!
How can these spoiled cunts of Google "develop" such a stinking pile of rotten placenta?
No, one fucking Promise is not enough... you have to return Promises for every single smegma function!
I want to just blow up this ugly afterbirth!!

It seems that Google devs are just spoiled MacCunt Pro brats who copy-paste code around until something "kind of works".

REAL Programmers Don't //COMMENT their </CODE>.

If it was HARD to WRITE
It Should be HARD to UNDERSTAND

Comment if you "Agreed"

Developers, we ARE the definition of insanity. Doing the same things over and over again, expecting things to change.

Wonder how many of you follow 'No Shave November'?

The worst thing I've seen a developer do would be becoming a university teacher while not being able to understand simple OOP or good programming practices.

I can't think of a most harmful one, just mediocrity cultivating unknowingly mediocre devs.

Layoffs happen all the time. But when you survive it and come back the next day and see the empty cubicles occupied by very senior devs who were really close to you and mentored you.

Had to go through this twice, 2014 and 2016. Thankfully we still meet up at Hooters every Friday and rant, and that's our version of a 'weekly'

How many devs does it take to change a light bulb?

None, it's a hardware problem.

You can always tell if someone is a programmer by asking them:

Is zero equal to zero or equal to 1?

Non devs say 0, devs say 1

Who are devranters?

I know many devs and very few of them run Linux as their primary OS. And I've never met a single one using Arch.

Also, hardly any use Vim as their primary IDE...or even editor.

Yet, if DevRant was my first introduction to devs I'd be down Best Buy looking for a laptop (why so many laptops here?) running Arch and Vim as my word processor.

Don't misunderstand me---I have nothing against Arch and Vim. I don't give a rat's arse about the OS on my machine as I'm mostly in apps. I'm sure Arch would be fine. And whatever floats anyone's boat is fine by me.

But where are all the devs maintaining VB6 apps using XP? Is the community inclusive enough to welcome them?

Where are the "dark matter" devs? Lurking? Speak up!

Now, it may be that, say, China and India run on Arch Linux and Vim and I have a limited perspective. If so, Wow! My eyes are opened.

I absolutely love the dev community but one thing I just can't stand is the snobbery that permeates it. I don't understand why some devs expect non devs to know or understand the intricacies of computer programming or even computers in general when it's really not their job to do so.

"Ahhhhh!! How DARE this non dev PEASANT ask me about hacking Facebook accounts!! Does he NOT understand the basics of DNS spoofing and social engineering!!1!!1! bahh"

Oh how I like devrant everyday more and more- can you imagine if every job kind would have something like .this? (e.g waiter.Rant) this is so inspiring how everyone is opening up and speaking about motivation, inspiration, fails, mistakes. We are not perfect and we should learn from each other, so the message the devrant unconditionally says is 'be opened ' speak up . P.s this is like coffee for thinking, stimulates to not just sit and work but think and inspire Do something bigger and share , Move your thoughts thank you devs especially founders

!rant

Ok dev's, im proposing a small movement for windows 10 mobile, if you have used windows 10 mobile personally, you will know it is actually a fantastic operating system that is super snappy and easy to develop for (No i'm not a microsoft fan boy, far from actually).

The only downfall of the OS is the app support, so im proposing devs come together and create quality apps and games for win 10 mobile.

Hopefully this can sort of persuade others into a revolution of sorts (And hopefully change microsofts mind of abandoning it), I personally will support windows 10 mobile for every game I create, within reason.

Lazy fucking google programmer spotted...

A group of ten top software engineers is sent to a class for aspiring managers.

The teacher walks in and asks this question:"You work for a software company which develops avionics (software that controls the instruments of an airplane).

One day you are taking a business trip. As you get on the plane you see a plaque that says this plane is using a beta of the software your team developed. Who would get off?"Nine developers raised their hands.

The teacher looked at the tenth and asked, "Why would you stay on?

"The tenth said, "if my team wrote the software, the plane would not get off the ground

Some unrequited advice to senior developers: don't let junior developers struggle too much, help them out. Some people are afraid to ask for help because they feel that they might be judged for 'not knowing something so simple'. You've probably been there, so if you're seeing the signs, just ask them what's wrong. Even just asking them that might help juniors find a solution.

Working on Ruby on Rails for first time..
Blogs mention it's more human readable..
I guess I feel like semicolons, args and braces to be more readable...

Alright devs let's see those faces #devfacefriday what's your specialties? (Me === red flannel,front-end. Bff === cream flannel, back-end.)

Can anyone tell me How DEVS study for exams ?

Seriously Getting fucked up having xams back to back 25 days .

Man, that's so hard to leave a team full of devs as crazy as you ...

Being a dev has a lot of benefits like not showering as often :)

Introducing Google Tasks

Default Tasks:
1. Reduce body
2. Reduce fat
3. Remove fucking image

Polymorphism (Object Oriented) explained better :

1) Father : Son, go and get Red Label.

Son : Full or Half? ..

2) Mother : Son, go and get Red Label.

Son : 100g or 250g? ..

How y'all react to this?

Work Until You Don't Need Resumé for Job

- Jaydev Shiroya

Sick and tired of this country. Is it a fucking crime to try to be a good dev in here? I mean, nobody gives a shit about quality and the learning process, it's all about the money, 'making it work', and salaries. Don't the guys have any honor?

When I had started learning web development on my own😂

Database is being slow AF again. Team lead is investigating. This is happening more often lately and affects both production and dev because everything is just in one gigantic database. So clients are calling support being angry about the speed they get and us devs get to twiddle our thumbs while waiting for our own data to load.

Why do non developers always think we devs don't have a life outside of work?

We have a life people. We do other things as well

My non-dev friends on Facebook are spamming with "Merry Christmas and Happy New Year". I didn't respond to them, I know am being rude but it's worth it.

Okay, so there's this thing I've noticed. Whenever I find another job the old job suffers very hard very soon. So far there were these cases:
- goes bancrupt wthn a month after I left
- the department gets closed due to reorganisation next week after I left
- a sinkhole opens up right under the 14 stores building I left 2 months ago
- and today... 10 minutes before I go to a job interview on my lunch break prod db pulls a failed-hdd-and-all-data-is-now-lost stunt...

Every single workplace I've left suffered a lot. Is this some kind of a superpower? Can I fight evil with it? Should I put it on my cv? Should I let my manager know...? Or ask for a raise? :D

Here is My BTC wallet address:

3NbickfbfxNUphgnxgE81sYF5PxxEDcwhm

not sure if i should share thi...

I feel like a lot of devs, last years self included.

Need to realize, a great Dev is not necessarily one that Ace in code.

But rather one that can convey and understand the problems they're to solve and more importantly the perspective of the end user.

Roses are red

Violets are blue

This is just another rant

You know what to do...

To the devs at inc.com
Fuck you.
Just resign.
Do me a favour. Don't touch any computer for life.
After reading 2 articles I need to login.
Okay fine.
Facebook login fucking doesn't work.
Twitter login worked.
But but fucking take me to some idiotic article. Hello? That was not what I logged for.
Now go back. And fuck fuck fuck
Article still says login to read this.
And click on login. Nope. Nadda. Nothing happens.
How how how. How are you even getting paid?
Fuck you.
Fuck you.
Fuck you.

Copy and pasting from internet.

Without fully understanding the code.

The PicsArt devs poking some fun at a big fix release on the Play Store

give mediocre server capacity... put multiple webapps and db on that.....exepct to run properly all the time......awesome expectations

Programmer BF before we were dating: I love my job. My job is the best thing ever. I will never love anything as much as I love coding.

Me: K

*A few months later*

Me: Ugh, your alarm is going off. Wake up.

PBF: I don't wanna go to work 😭

Me: Oh really? 😏

I think somewhere i read a quote from Gary Kasparov on his view on Chess.
He said that after certain point of mastering it, it becomes too much mental pain.
I think the same can be said about programming.
Devs really enjoy it, but sometimes, damn that Null pointer exception.

My email is just as valid if there is a whitespace at the end of it as if there wasn't.. ffs, just add a trim!

Once a PM, always a PM.

A.I EXAM STARTING IN AN HOUR,

CAN'T REMEMBER SINGLE SENTENCE

TOTALLY FREAKED OUT...

!rant

Just an observation.
According to Stackoverflow's survey, it suggests that developers with more experience are less competitive. I still can't understand this. How can developers loose their interest over time?

When you finally began to trust Google Maps and suddenly GPS losts...

how do you devs deal with computer/screen headaches?

I’m a CS student, and last year at my software internship i had a pounding headache literally every day at work (worked 40 hours a week). I started drinking like 6 bottles of water a day and popping advil like candy, but i want to avoid them this summer.

any of you l33t vet devs have any secret tricks for these?

thx thx

Man why is it that the languages that I like get shit on by like 90% of developers. Whiney little cunts that get mad at css because they think "oh I can just inline style and it'll be fine" No wonder your X looks like fucking roadkill. And I fucking love python. Maybe if the Oracle overlord didn't have a goddamn chokehold on ever major hardware manufacturer python would be more prominent.

I don't get why the most devs are so into defending they're favorite programming language. I mean choose the language that gets the job done and not what's your favorite if language b sucks at doing a then I chose another one. So simple but most people don't get it. It's like the pc VS console discussion. Just play both period

Happy fucking new year my fellow devs!

Every time I see a set of stickers arrive in a far off country (just saw Kenya!? What!?) it makes me really happy. Spread the angry developer nerd rage. Let it flow through you.

RIP the sanity of iOS 12 augmented reality devs in one year from now when Apple ships a boatload of unannounced breaking API changes, and says no backward compatibility for iOS 12 apps on iOS 13 due to "experience optimizations."