At university we had lessons in C++.
First lesson: Make a calculator
Second lesson: Make an application that uses sockets to connect to an FTP-server and downloads a file. No FTP-libraries allowed.

I am Computer Science Student
Yesterday I asked question to my classmates, what is Linux,

here's some(non-forgettable) replays:

3- An App
2- A Soap
1- Game character

and most (suggest me..a word) :

0- Linux Crackers(Food)

and that guy sent me this..

Interviewer asked "Write SOMETHING on the board"

I wrote "Something"

WHAT THE FUCK

Clearly not...

My classmate accidentally deleted Recycle bin shortcut from her PC, i was starring at her, she grab my pendrive, ran to libraries Computer, copied recycle bin, and pasted it in her desktop,

And last but not least... She got Job in Oracle.

That's a lot of contributors

Just boring time at Market, oh wait..!!

Literally Crushed her with candy...

We're not a family of devs. So the situation may seem weird to them.

My sister saw me doing the rubber duck debugging and venting my programming frustration with an innocent little duck. Eye-to-eye. And now, she thinks i'm in need of serious help.

Who Is Who

➡ A Project Manager is the one who thinks 9 women🙍 can deliver a baby in 1 month.👶

➡ An Onsite Coordinator is the one who thinks 1 woman can deliver 9 babies in 1 month.👶

➡ A Developer is the one who thinks it will take 18 months to deliver 1 baby.🙇

➡ A Marketing Manager is the one who thinks he can deliver a baby even if no man and women are available.👷

➡ A Client is the one who doesn’t know why he wants a baby.👶

➡ A Tester is the one who always tells his wife that this is not the right baby. 🚶

Don't be shy.. Comment which 'who' are you..😂

How do i learn coding in single night? - someone asked me.

I gently replied : Pack your Laptop, and travel to North Pole in beginning of winter, you'll have 6 month of night to learn coding.

Once there - really just Google it there are tons of Excellent tutorials on web.

Thank you 6.00 times

Here's my piece of advice for new devs out there:

1 - Pick one language to learn first and stick with it, untill you grasp some solid fundamentals. (Variables, functions, classes, namespaces, scope, at least)

2 - Pick an IDE, and stick with it for now. Don't worry about tools yet. Comment everything you're coding. The important thing is to comment why you wrote it, and not what it does. Research git and start using version control, even when coding by yourself alone.

3 - Practice, pratice and pratice. If you got stuck, try reading the language docs first and see if you can figure it out yourself. If all else fails, then go to google and stackoverflow. Avoid copying the solution, type it all and try to understand it.

4 - After you feel you need to go to the next level, research best practices first, and start to apply them to your code. Try to make it modular as it grows. Then learn about tools, preprocessors and frameworks.

5 - Always keep studying. Never give up. We all feel that we have no idea of what we are doing sometimes. That's normal. You will understand eventually. ALWAYS KEEP STUDYING.

This SINGLE space just broke my entire project. Good luck debugging that one...

Web devs are like autocorrect:
- You're needed but never told you are
- You're great at your job, but everyone complains about your few faults
- You learn more as you work with the client
- You improve little by little every day
- Your buttons are pushed a lot
- You use new technologies when you can

When the internet breaks down, us web devs don't know what to do. 😂 Yay for early lunch!

*during my final job interview*

*holding the folder that contains my cv*
interviewer: Wait, before I open this I would like to guess which position you're applying to.
me: Hmm okay sir? Which position?
interviewer: I see you're applying as a back-end developer?
me: Yes sir, I am.
interviewer: Aha! That's because you have a long hair? Like it is a requirement for every devs to grow their hair?
me: *laughs* i think so?
interviewer: Well our devs here also has long hair. You'll meet 'em soon.
...

That sets the mood of my interviewing process that leads me the job offer. LOL.

So, my boss just overwrote an entire disk with a dd command. Now no of the virtual machines are accessible.

This is going to be a great day.........

Pretty useful error message

When trying to add comment on a rant.

I am bloody sick of being on my own.

I was the sole dev at the last few jobs I've held, with the exception of API Guy -- who didn't really help much, and who got fired / quit six months after I started. Every other job I've either been the only dev, or the only web dev. (Exception:My boss at my previous job was a Rails dev, but he has zero time to code, and was significantly less experiened so he could only rarely help anyway.)

But now I'm in a company with a bunch of other devs, and they're all ostensibly senior devs, so you'd think I should be able to ask questions, right? And get answers? that actually help? like "Hey, you built this; how does it work?" No bloody way.

So far every time I've asked someone for help, they've been incompetent. I asked about what a few flags did, and got an answer that basically said "you just gotta know. oh, and the labels aren't up to date, so don't trust what they say." I asked the head of the "product team" about a ticket that he wrote, and he changed what it meant four times within two days. I asked about another, and he said "oh, that isn't reproduceable." Thanks. I asked about mailers, and got two very different, very incompete walkthroughs from the more senior devs (9+ years on this codebase) that didn't help. I asked two people about how users and roles work, and still have no idea what kind of user (there are like twelve?) is what, what roles even exist, or how to check for permissions. `@current_user` is a thing, but idfk what it holds since that can change considerably, and there's an impersonation feature that changes how it works, too. I ask the product guy again about where to link something, and he has no idea. I ask said product guy about what this feature needs to do, and he doesn't know. I ask what the legal team needs, and i get nothing. I ask the designer where the goddamn CSS lives, and he doesn't know; he apparently just puts it wherever he feels like, even if it's a completely unrelated stylesheet. As long as it works, right?

I ask very simple and straighforward questions, and it takes them forever to get back to me saying what amounts to "idk, ask someone else."

This feels like the same crap all over again, except now there are a bunch of devs I can ask that give me basically the same answers as the sales people always did. Always "idk" or a confusing mess of an 'answer' that skips most/all of the important bits. At least these people don't [usually] contradict themselves.

So, @Root is all alone, again.
And currounded by incompetence.
Again.

For fuck's sake.
Can't I catch a break?

My ISP advertises themselves as IT-nerds. I once contacted the support, not tech support, just the usual support. I wanted to use my own router instead of theirs, and the supporter actually knew how I should configure my vlan and a lot of other technical stuff.

Why aren’t all ISP’s like mine?

I broke up with my Girlfriend at restaurant and She started crying, everyone thought i had proposed so they started Clapping. 😂🤣😎

When system smells that you're in hurry...

You know shit just got serious when you go to page 2 on Google

Wierd Domains Game

Like: pornhub + StackOverflow
PornOverflow.Com

Add your entry in comment.

Winner will be get 1 domain + 1 year hosting

Devs: We need access to PROD DB in order to provide support you're asking us for.

Mgmt: No, we cannot trust you with PROD DB accesses. That DB contains live data and is too sensitive for you to fuck things up

Mgmt: We'll only grant PROD DB access to DBAs and app support guys

Mgmt: <hire newbies to app support>

App_supp: `update USER set invoice_directory = 54376; commit;`

----------------
I have nothing left to say....

Today my boss asked me if I wanted to travel to another country to setup a new server for a customer.
Pretty good for a student worker I think 😁. Today was a great day

True Af😂

Fuck the incompetent and "pretentious psuedo devs" !!

I have been developing a web portal for a student club for this really big company (as intern) and then they assign this fuckin group of these 4 stupid intern devs to work with me !

The fuckin tweked my code and redirected the CONTACT FORM to the fuckin LOGIN CONTROLLER !!

Then these sons of Einstein inserted dummy users without a username and password into the fuckin production site !!

Now each fukin time someone submits contact form is redirected into some random user account !!

Who the fuck needs Hackers when we have these legendary coders -_-

Dedicated to All Programmers Who hate Testers

Everyone should start with C rather than java/C#/python (or alike). Much easier to move from C to java than the opposite

Not ++’ing a rant because double tapping / dragging the finger all the way to the side of the screen to the ++ button required too much effort.

How to hide your important files from people without making Hidden folders

1. Go to Desktop and create anew folder

2. Name the folder Internet Explorer

3. Change the folder icon to Internet Explorer

4. Keep it in a corner of the desktop

Now, no one will open internet explorer :D

Comment your ideas...

Senior devs out there, please be supportive to juniors. Don't treat them bad just because they don't know as much as you do. Guide them and help them learn and grow as devs. That'll make your company (and/or the community) a better place to work at, because everyone will be a better dev, and you might learn and grow in the process as well.

Late night coding

My friend just send me this...and i think you guys must watch this two movies.. Comment. Who will win??

I just noticed this...

The amount of rants on here I see of 'Devs' complaining that other non-tech people aren't knowledgable/ can't understand 'simple' explanations / etc and are mean, or even cruel to those non-techy people is alarming.

Just because you've spent a lot of time on something youre interested in, doesn't mean:
A. Everyone else is interested in it.
B. Everyone knows everything about it.

These 'Devs' are the reason most Universities require mandatory social classes so they can make sure you can talk to people in a nice manner and get your point across.

Majority of the time I need to explain a concept I find simple or I know to someone, I try to find an analogy about something both parties know. I know that pulling the documentation information and giving to them will just result in more questions and they won't understand.

You just gotta know how to talk to people without getting angry at them for being who they are, human.

String TLDR = "Don't be a dick because someone doesn't know something you do"

Well thanks, that shit is so fucking helpful

Why are devs so fixated on other devs' IDE, OS, programming style and chair choices??

Imagine if every sports player would comment on the way the other walks, bats, the colour of their shoes!

Devs are a bit picky don't you think?

After Hours of Coding.. I'm finally get in bed, but my mind can't overcome from fucking code and i can't sleep.
I don't know how to take proper and quick sleep after programming without taking any pills. Another side effect is after started programming 18 hr /day I'm losing my memory power, and can't remember some things properly.

And yes this image is Worth something to me... It describes my current situation.

Just one word

HELP !

The BUTT analogy
HTML - plain simple butt
CSS - sprinkle some hairs on it
JS - farting butt

Don’t forget to clean up unused docker volumes once in a while...

When you show DEMO to Clients and it Crashes..

DEMOCRACY....

Some devs want to see the world burn

I just recently started my first job as a full stack programmer (still studying at university). I got assigned one month to code a complete front end to our api. Now, 4 days before release day the owner of the company makes breaking changes to the api.

Just. Beautiful.

Have guys ever thought that all te devs are vampires...
reason 1: Loves Darkness (dark theme)
reason 2: Most active during the night
reason 3: If the dev finds a capable victim then they can make them fellow dev.

When you are given a task or bugs to fix and your boss will tell you everytime that, "this is so easy this will be done in just 3 seconds".

WTF! Then don't hire devs and do it yourself! And start fixing all the damn bugs in just 3 seconds yourself! There are 28800 seconds in whole fucking 8 hours, I guess if we divided it by 3 you can finish a task or fix a bug at approximately 9600! (Applause) Now we are silently calling him "The 3 seconds man'.

Worst part of being a dev: Oracle

!rant

Let's take a moment to appreciate interested and enthousiastic non-developers who really want to learn a programming language.

I am studying Medical IT at my college and most of my classmates aren't coming from an IT background.
We're currently working with Java, PHP, JavaScript and some require Node for their semester projects.

Some of my classmates approach me when they're stuck while coding and I try to teach them as much as possible so they understand what they are doing wrong and how to fix it.
I also show them how they can optimise their code step by step and they love it!

As a classmate told me yesterday:
"It's always so much fun working with you. I come up with a small problem, but I end up learning so much more about programming when solving a problem with you. I appreciate that."

It's a mindset I've learned when I was doing my developer apprenticeship back in the day. One of my colleagues told me: "if they want your help because they need a quick fix, tell them to kiss your ass. If you know they've already tried everything they could and ask you specifically because they want to understand what they are doing wrong, they are future developers with great potential, so go teach them."

May the force be with you, my enthousiastic little non-devs ❤️

I just got hired as a systems administrator at a company that develops web forms. NO ONE in the company has heard of git. They don't use any kind of version control.
I'm a little worried...

✔️ Every time you build a to-do list app, a puppy 🐕 dies 😢

alias apt-get=“sudo apt-get”

Reinstalling the server 3 or 4 times, and then suddenly it works...

I just bought some software that I have had a cracked version of for a few years. That feels so good

Thanks to all the sys admins and devs keeping the internet up and running through the holidays. It's a crazy time of year and I'm sure it only means more work for a lot of you at an already stressful time. So thanks again for being the glue holding it all together; we really appreciate your work 🍻

I’ve begun to notice a distinct pattern with devs. I realise it has probably always been there but Im just thinking out loud as Ive started to actively notice it.

*Dev has literally one problem with a library/framework/environment*

“Holy crap <NAME> is the worst thing ever!! its actually worse than an STD. whoever made it needs to quit making software and become a goat farmer” (paraphrasing of course)

What is it with us that the second we have difficulty with a library or framework we immediately brand it as a cancerous polyp on the anus of humanity?

At a meeting:

"We don't know why <past developer, they all know who this motherfucker is> did it this way but we have to..."

Me: *slams table* no, stop. I am tired of this. Y'all must've really liked this guy. But he did it this way because he was a fucking idiot.
A
Fucking
Idiot
There is no other reason for this amount of fuckery that I have to be bothered to fix and mess with on A DAILY BASIS so I am gonna go ahead and call it as it is. The dude was a damn moron and no one here stopped him. I know he was a janitor here that got his cute lil associates and y'all wanted some good will hunting shit to happen, but <said dumbass developer is no matt damon"

Them: "YOU CaNt JusT UsE ThaT lanGUAGE"

"Am i gonna fix this shit?"

"Well......no one else kno...."

Me: "exactly"

Legit man i am sick and tired of this shit. I did not earn a B.S in comp sci. Graduated in the top percentage of my class, am suffering through my MCS to fix php like a fucking moron all day.The rest of my web devs backed me up.

Aaaand btw..no, it is not my job. I am a fucking analyst, i provide data reports, i program said reports, i am tasked with this shit because i used to work for then as a web tech.....got a different position cuz i was tired of it...fuck me right?

Quitting in the hopes of finding a better paying company... I did

Inception.
Today I needed to check something in a remote server: this was the easiest way:
1: teamviewer to my home pc from university
2: started a vm on that machine with vpn connection to my work office
3: rdp to a windows server vm
4: ssh to a vm on our hosting cluster
5: from there, ssh to the server that I needed access to

"Macs can't get viruses, right?"

Don't you hate it when coffee makes you go to the bathroom instead of giving you energy?

devRant Devs, if you're reading this, thank you for enabling the existence of this community.

No grandpa, I don't scam people online. I am a web developer - I earn my living online, building web apps, plugins, etc. (and stuff that you won't really grasp). And again, stop telling people that I'm lazy - I don't watch movies on my computer from 8AM-5PM. Lovely grandma, please don't believe him.

I worked as a sysadmin. I was taking over a position from another, who’d stop 2 weeks after I started, so he introduced me to everything in those days.

In the company we were 2 people (3 the first 2 weeks) managing servers. When rebooting windows servers and windows asked for a reason for rebooting, he told me that he always wrote -.- while the other guy wrote .-. so they could recognize who rebooted the server

Wicked!

Just thinking about the world without stack overflow. 🤔

Next Level.

Stupid javascript.
Stupid hoisting-oblivious "frontend devs."
Stupid browser-specific javascript behavior.
Stupid thrown-together javascript minifier that literally only strips out whitespace and comments.
Stupid poorly-written javascript spamming my api.

Time to rewrite it. Grumble grumble. Soo not how I wanted to spend my morning-turn-afternoon.

Leading to the last but not least:
Stupid me forgetting javascript's quirks.

All Devs must have

My code is not working, why?

Same here, kid. Same here.

Avoiding bad companies starts at the job interview. Remember that the job interview is not only for them to evaluate you, but also the other way around. Make sure to ask a lot of questions. What are they doing, how are they working, what help is there if you get stuck, are they doing code reviews, what will you be doing etc.

The job interview is the opportunity for you to get an inside view of the company. Don’t just accept any job because you are desperate. Luckily qualifies devs are much needed in companies.

Also, make sure to go to multiple job interviews so you can see the differences. I think it can be difficult to avoid in the beginning, but as you get more experience, you can sort of tell whether it’s a good or bad company at the job interview.

Though sometimes you are just unlucky. In that situation: leave. It is so good damn easy to get a job in this field.

When your daily average user numbers are just a little too good to be true.

Top 5 World’s Most Hated Programming Languages

1. Perl

2. Delphi

3. VBA

4. Objective-C

5. PHP

Which one do you hate most?

Back in the day, I joined a little agency in Cape Town, small team small office with big projects, projects they weren’t really supposed to take on but hey when the owner of a tech business is not a tech person they do weird things.
A month had passed and it was all good, then came a project from Europe, Poland to be specific. The manager introduced me to the project, it was a big brand - a segment of Lego, built on Umbraco (they should change the name to slowbraco or uhmmm..braco somewhere there) the manager was like so this one is gonna be quite a challenge and I remember you said you are keen on that, I was like hell yeah bring it on (genuinely I got excited) now the challenge was not even about complexity of the problem or code or algorithms etc you get my point… the challenge was that the fucking site was in polish - face palm 1 - so I am like okay code is code, its just content, and I already speak/familiar with 13 human languages so I can’t fail here ill get around it somehow. So I spin up IIS, do the things and boom dev environment is ready for some kick ass McCoding. I start to run through the project to dig into the previous dev’s soul. I could not relate, I could not understand. I could not read, I could not, I could not. - face palm 2 - This dude straight up coded this project in polish variable names in polish, class names in polish, comments in freaking polish. Look, I have no beef with the initial guy, its his language so why not right? sure. But not hey this is my life and now I should learn polish, so screw it, new tab - google translate, new notes, I create a dictionary of variables and class etc 
3 days go by and I am fucking polish bro. Come at me. I get to read the previous devs soul through his comments, what a cool dude, his code wasn’t shit either - huge relief. So I rock on and make the required changes and further functionality. 

The project manager is like really, you did it? I am like yeah dude, there it is. Then I realise I wasn’t the first on this, this dude done tried others and it didn’t go down well, they refused. - face palm 3 -

Anyway, now I am a rock star in the office, and to project managers this win means okay throw him in the deep - they move me to huge project that is already late of course and apparently since I am able to use google translate, I can now defeat time, let the travelling begin. - face palm 4 - I start on the project and they love me on it as they can see major progress however poland was knocking on the door again, they need a whole chunk of work done. I can’t leave the bigger project, so it was decided that the new guy on Monday will start his polish lessons - he has no idea, probably excited to start a new job, meanwhile a shit storm is being prepared for him.

Monday comes, hello x - meet the team, team meets x

Manager - please join our meeting.

I join the meeting, the manager tells me to assist the new dev to get set up.

Me: Sure, did you tell him about he site?

Manager: Yes, I told him you knocked it out the park and now we just need to keep going

Me: in my head (hmm… that’s not what I was asking but cool I guess he will see soon enough -internal face palm 5 - )

New dev is setup, he looks at the project, I am ask him if he is good after like an hour he is like yeah all good. But his face is pink so I figured, no brother man is not okay. But I let him be and give him space.

Lunch time comes, he heads out for lunch. 

1hr 15mins later, project manager is like, is the new dude still at lunch.

We are all like yeah probably. 

2hrs pass 

3hrs pass

Now we are like okay maybe something happened to him, hit by a car? Emergency? Something… 

So I am legit worried now, I ask the manager to maybe give him a ring. 

Manager tries to call. NOTHING, no response. nada.

Next day, 8am, 9am, 10am no sign of the dude. 

I go to the manager, ask him what’s up. 

Manager: he is okay. However he said he is not coming back. 


!rant
I damn love devs. The humor, the devs easter eggs...

Have you ever wondered what 'git' stands for?
try 'man git' ;)

I think the massive collaboration projects like VS Code are awesome.

A free product that is customizable beyond imagination and constantly being updated and improved by those who use it daily.

The capability of thousands of devs making something together is sweet!!

My interview,

Introduction round.
Basic information round.
General Aptitude test.

Technical round 1
Technical round 2

Telephonic round
Telephonic technical round

And now i asked them for the results of my interview.
They told me to arrange another FUCKING TECHNICAL ROUND.

WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON.
IT'S BEEN FUCKING 2 MONTHS SINCE I'M GIVING INTERVIEWS..

I'm literally exhausted. And it looks like they are completing their project for free.

When You Write approx 1000 lines of code without save, and then kernal panic... I'm exhausted 😑

Finally my Dragon laid Egg...

My coworker used to write code but never bothered with indents and nests. He got fired for not following the rules of the company. I know this sounds boring but w/e

Been a while but I'm back with fresh rants.

If you look in my history you will see support wanted us devs to start paying for writing bugs. Now the release presentation has passed but we're still in crunch time because we can't put clients onto the new version yet. And in the meantime our coffee machine broke. So support has started to manually pour coffee, which was actual real nice of them.

Now yesterday I'm in a hurry and the coffee is out so I decide to pour a quick cup for myself with the leftover grounds. When I'm back at my desk I get a call asking if I just made coffee. I'm like yeah something wrong? Proceed to get chewed out for being selfish and that they see how it is with me, then get hung up on before I can even explain.

So yeah not only is my company too cheap to get a new machine, the lack of one causes drama.

Today however our network guy, who was present when my colleagues asked what was with the weird phone call, brought in his own machine and let me have coffee from it. Meanwhile suport can keep their crappy manual pouring. And I don't need to go into their office anymore.

It would be great if there's a feature that you'll see the rants of other devs around your area. Must be exciting, ain't it?

P (H | E)

IS NOT

P (E | H)

THANKS BAYES!

!rant

Love this community, the idea of the app, developers, etc. Thanks everyone for making a home for devs.

Ok going to rant about other developers this time.

Can you please stop doing just the minimal amount of work on your games/apps?!

I understand you may not have the time to go through with a fine tooth comb but just delay it, delay it and finish the product to a state that doesn't feel half assed and broken right at the get go.

A small note that the thing that triggered me with this is Android Devs at the moment, with Google requiring you support the adaptive icons and a newer SDK, so many Devs are just scraping by and putting in no effort to bring things up to date (also put more effort into adaptive icons rather than just putting your old square Icon on a white background)

This shit is just leading to everything being 'early access' or in a constant 'beta' stage with the promise of polish later.

Don't be that guy, put the extra few days of polish in... Just please...

PSA to /[devs who things it's a good idea|management who thinks it's a good idea to force your devs]+/g:

There currently exists 1543 (and counting) top level domains. My email addresses follow the pattern: /^[a-z]+@panduro\.guru$/ and I die a little inside whenever I get told my email addresses aren't valid because you thought it was a good idea (to force your devs) to hardcode "valid" top level domains. There is a reason why the filter for input type email does not include top level domains.

And you can't even begin to comprehend how mildly annoyed I get when I message their support and tell them what the problem is (because I'm nice enough to do that) they instead of telling me "thanks for informing us we'll look into it" they tell me "well just get a gmail or something". I should not have to order social status reducing items with my school mail (especially not since I'll loose that email ¾ pairs of years)

New country, new company, new team, new projects.
I'm supposed to be the TL of a team working on a React project.

A guy in his late 40s celebrates himself as "the senior", he basically just finished watching a youtube thing, React 101 crash course or similar. The other two juniors who did only Wordpress so far venerate him like a god.

The code, of course, is one on the finest pieces of crap I ever had the pleasure to deal with in my life: naturally a bunch of JQuery plugins for everything, no tests, no state management, side effects everywhere, shared state and globals like hell, everything written in ES3/ES5 style, no types, no docs, build and deploy totally manual, deep props drilling at every level... and not to mention the console.log() shipped in prod.

First day, already headache.
Full rewrite start tomorrow.
Hiring real devs as well.

WTF MICROSOFT.

I was Compiling app on windows 10, just gone for few mins to grab a coffee and then i saw blue screen with
Updating Windows.

Nobody ask you to do it. You piece of shit.

And that's not all, it even restarted without my permission.

Seriously Fuck you Microsoft

I always hear devs talking about the many ideas they have in their minds to start projects. Am I the only one that can't imagine a project that is really usefull/profitable?

New year, new bugs

This is what I love about fellow devs - they know what's best, you don't need to ask something like "please keep adding xyz to your post so we can see if it...". We just do it. :3

Hoo boy, this is a (very) long one, so read at your own risk,

I'd say, don't judge/generalize people biased by the minority that represent the larger group,

But on the other hand, it's very difficult to do so, especially when working in a group consisting of several dozens of people (devs, tech leads, testers, designers, etc), in separate sub groups

Well first, the devs aren't working with the expected atentiveness to quality & detail, I am not in any way the best developer in terms of knowledge, in fact I might be just a mediocre developer compared to the other tech leads or the other fellow developer, but one thing is that I always tried to learn and try my best to do it in the best way I can,

Quite frequently (and from several specific persons only) I had the honor to experience these farce,

Some people just don't want to admit that they are wrong, clear as day, this specific part here is not doing what it's supposed to do due to someone's negligence, and I was trying to find out how it actually works and how can we fix this, that's right, "we", I'm not even pushing anyone to clean up his mistakes alone, I'm also taking part on it because that became my responsibility when I touched that part of the code, and it's my duty to make sure the job is done, and what did they do? Long story short, somehow the guy was getting angry for an unknown reason, then speaking in high tone implying that it's not his problem anymore, passing the responsibility to someone else, and ultimately everyone said I should figure it out by myself, yeah fuck you all, in the end I was very relieved to be moved back to my original squad and not having too much interaction with their group,

Some (probably) less worse occurences are the devs who rush ahead before they code, literally, it's not the usual "code first, think later", it's way more advanced version of it, let's say some tester found a bug, then it's assigned to a developer, the developer doesn't even bother to check the ticket description, only read the vague title, and doesn't even bother to check the actual behavior on the app, suddenly, there's a Pull Request waiting to be merged, it's mind blowing to see how his PR doesn't actually solve anything, in the end, it confuses several reviewers until they actually run it on their local machine and found out that the bug is either has been fixed or not recurring anymore or the fix doesn't do shit, fucking waste of time

And what about the testers? Sure let's not forget the stereotype about devs vs testers and vice versa, but the ones I'm working with is a real piece of work,

I have no problem with the testers who put a lot of bug tickets, or the ones that is very critical in their bugfinding process, at least that means they are doing their job properly, the ones that dotheir job improperly are the ones that ends up wasting everyone's time, just like above

One time, a tester was reporting a certain UI bug, a certain text was overflowing, it's an edge case and was assigned to me since I works mostly on UI,

A day went by with no avail at my attempt to replicate the bug, turns out he was testing it with his personal phone, which was not included in the device requirement for the project nor described in the bug ticket, but since the screen resolution checks out, the bug is considered valid,

Second day went by with no avail of replicating, my time spent trying all kinds of devices, simulators, emulators, until, the 3rd day a very lucky occurence happened with one other testing device, and another tester reported duplicate bug, obviously I borrowed the phone, and inspected every inch of possibilities, until I noticed something, "the font's kinda bigger on this phone" I thought, then I checked the settings, and lo and behold, the bug is caused by the device's font settings, fuck it, and fuck you

Another time was when I'm not sure whether the testers was being lazy or just acting preoccupied with something, when we create a PR, the specific branch must be tested by tester to ensure nothing broke because of the changes, then only when the tester OK'd it, the PR will be merged,

This thing frequently happens, especially when working cross teams, it's as if that the other team's tester is not responsible for my work, eh, here's two middle finger for you, I'll include my toes also, YOU ARE THE ONE REPORTED THE BUG FOR FUCK'S SAKE, and now you act like it's none of your business?, what's so hard about testing one single branch for a single teeny weenie feature and say ok on it, it won't even take 15 minutes, because I can do it in just 10 minutes, but only the testers had the authority to say that a certain PR is good to merge, fuck it

Last, the point above, "only the testers had the authority to say that a certain PR is good to be merged", and they seem to be flaunting it and act like an important person, fuck you

That doesn't cover half of the antics I saw, but whew, it sure is refreshing to finally speak it out

TIP:

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I switched to faster DNS,
And believe it or not, it improved my internet speed.

Just add this DNS and you're gonna experience faster browsing

DNS1: 1.1.1.1
DNS2: 1.0.0.1

comment below if you experience it.

I used to work on a production management team, whose job was, among other things, safeguarding access to production. Dev teams would send us requests all the time to, "run a quick SQL script."

Invariably, the SQL would include, "SELECT * FROM db_config."

We would push the tickets back, and the devs would call us, enraged. I learned pretty quickly that they didn't have any real interest in dev, test, or staging environments, and just wanted to do everything in prod, and see if it works.

But they would give up their protests pretty fast when I offered to let them speak to a manager when they were upset I wouldn't run their SQL.

Philosophical question: If you develop an application but no one uses it.. does it even exists?

Docker is so fucking infuriating when it doesn’t work, but amazing when it does

Hello my fellow devs.

I just joined devRant.

when you see devs with age <= 16 who look experienced than you and you say to yourself

"Where the fuck have I spent my early life"

You know what kind of devs I hate?
- The "Oh I never worked with it so its shit"
- The "I dont wanna learn something new"
- The "You can use JavaScript for this and everything else"
- The Pro ++ Ultra Dev who never heard of modulization and layering
- The hard coded values guy

If devs had a version of cards against humanity I'd imagine that it would look like this😂

Idk why but i rarely see devs who lift. All i see is 2 different types of devs;
- who runs
- who doesn't run which either leaves him to be very skinny or somewhat fat which both cases are unhealthy af.

Layoffs happen all the time. But when you survive it and come back the next day and see the empty cubicles occupied by very senior devs who were really close to you and mentored you.

Had to go through this twice, 2014 and 2016. Thankfully we still meet up at Hooters every Friday and rant, and that's our version of a 'weekly'

You can always tell if someone is a programmer by asking them:

Is zero equal to zero or equal to 1?

Non devs say 0, devs say 1

I feel like almost all suggestions to wk92 here on devRant have already been fixed at my university...

One if our users set their username as their password and publicly admitted it; he didn't understand why his password were displayed on the projector

The worst thing I've seen a developer do would be becoming a university teacher while not being able to understand simple OOP or good programming practices.

I can't think of a most harmful one, just mediocrity cultivating unknowingly mediocre devs.

The worst dev I’ve interviewed is the only dev I’ve interviewed.. Which is probably one of the best colleagues I’ve ever worked with, and a really good dev.

Well played Samsung....👏🏻

It’s so fucking ridiculous that business people that knows jack shit about programming are the ones that promise features within a specific impossible deadlines to the customers

Me: so how are you doing backups?
Client: Well, I make a snapshot twice a week, that should be fine, right?

...

I absolutely love the dev community but one thing I just can't stand is the snobbery that permeates it. I don't understand why some devs expect non devs to know or understand the intricacies of computer programming or even computers in general when it's really not their job to do so.

"Ahhhhh!! How DARE this non dev PEASANT ask me about hacking Facebook accounts!! Does he NOT understand the basics of DNS spoofing and social engineering!!1!!1! bahh"

Who are devranters?

I know many devs and very few of them run Linux as their primary OS. And I've never met a single one using Arch.

Also, hardly any use Vim as their primary IDE...or even editor.

Yet, if DevRant was my first introduction to devs I'd be down Best Buy looking for a laptop (why so many laptops here?) running Arch and Vim as my word processor.

Don't misunderstand me---I have nothing against Arch and Vim. I don't give a rat's arse about the OS on my machine as I'm mostly in apps. I'm sure Arch would be fine. And whatever floats anyone's boat is fine by me.

But where are all the devs maintaining VB6 apps using XP? Is the community inclusive enough to welcome them?

Where are the "dark matter" devs? Lurking? Speak up!

Now, it may be that, say, China and India run on Arch Linux and Vim and I have a limited perspective. If so, Wow! My eyes are opened.

Oh how I like devrant everyday more and more- can you imagine if every job kind would have something like .this? (e.g waiter.Rant) this is so inspiring how everyone is opening up and speaking about motivation, inspiration, fails, mistakes. We are not perfect and we should learn from each other, so the message the devrant unconditionally says is 'be opened ' speak up . P.s this is like coffee for thinking, stimulates to not just sit and work but think and inspire Do something bigger and share , Move your thoughts thank you devs especially founders

How many devs does it take to change a light bulb?

None, it's a hardware problem.

REAL Programmers Don't //COMMENT their </CODE>.

If it was HARD to WRITE
It Should be HARD to UNDERSTAND

Comment if you "Agreed"

Firebase is pure fucking assrape!
How can these spoiled cunts of Google "develop" such a stinking pile of rotten placenta?
No, one fucking Promise is not enough... you have to return Promises for every single smegma function!
I want to just blow up this ugly afterbirth!!

It seems that Google devs are just spoiled MacCunt Pro brats who copy-paste code around until something "kind of works".

Get pi-hole...

A lot of larger companies seem to be a happy about forcing employees to change their password every three months or so. They do it for security measures so that it is more difficult to break through the system, however most people end up making the worst passwords.
Instead of forcing a very good password on them every year or two maybe, they all end up having passwords like: "Summer16", "Qwer1234", "London15".
I used to work for our national police, and this was the case there as well...

Man, that's so hard to leave a team full of devs as crazy as you ...

Today I attended a teamviewer meeting. The host were using a Mac, running VirtualBox with Windows 7 which was connected to a Windows 8 machine through Remote Desktop (rdp) with a putty session to the server we were configuring.

Lazy fucking google programmer spotted...

A story from around 2005:

Customer laying out specifications: “We expect this software to need to last 25 years or so, and it will need to keep historical file processing data by dates for at least that long, assume storage is no issue.”

Devs at the time: “look best I can do is support that start with 200 or 201, anything else is really too much to ask. Also understanding how to work with dates at all and not just string manipulation is waaaaayyy hard yo.”

Fuck you lazy motherfuckers. This is why people thought Y2K would be a problem.

Work Until You Don't Need Resumé for Job

- Jaydev Shiroya

Do devRant devs rant?

In devRant?

A group of ten top software engineers is sent to a class for aspiring managers.

The teacher walks in and asks this question:"You work for a software company which develops avionics (software that controls the instruments of an airplane).

One day you are taking a business trip. As you get on the plane you see a plaque that says this plane is using a beta of the software your team developed. Who would get off?"Nine developers raised their hands.

The teacher looked at the tenth and asked, "Why would you stay on?

"The tenth said, "if my team wrote the software, the plane would not get off the ground

Alright devs let's see those faces #devfacefriday what's your specialties? (Me === red flannel,front-end. Bff === cream flannel, back-end.)

Being a dev has a lot of benefits like not showering as often :)

!rant
I just found out that I can get 1000/1000 mbit fiber for approximately $50 a month where I live........ Time for an upgrade!

How y'all react to this?

Polymorphism (Object Oriented) explained better :

1) Father : Son, go and get Red Label.

Son : Full or Half? ..

2) Mother : Son, go and get Red Label.

Son : 100g or 250g? ..

Why do non developers always think we devs don't have a life outside of work?

We have a life people. We do other things as well

Introducing Google Tasks

Default Tasks:
1. Reduce body
2. Reduce fat
3. Remove fucking image

How to waste money as a dev company, 101:

Give people ton of budget for their education to do whatever they want with it with no oversight at all:
1) Devs go to some shitty confs in places across the world that teaches them nothing (new) so they can visit interesting places on company's money
2) Go to a conf where you learn ton of stuff that can be implemented right away

...Then you come back, no time to do stuff properly, just "make it work" (or make it seem like it works), because of deadlines, poor prioritization, new features, bad planning, vague roadmap and poor client management. And the worst of them all, LGTM code reviews.

Few months later, who the fuck wrote this shit? Oh, dude that left? What about this mess? Oh, he's a goner too. What the fuck should this random undocumented chunk of code do?!

Do that a few times and you've got bunch of pissed off clients with a ton of bug reports nobody can solve without wasting 20x the amount of time it would originally take.. LGTM

RIP project.

Can anyone tell me How DEVS study for exams ?

Seriously Getting fucked up having xams back to back 25 days .

When I had started learning web development on my own😂

Here is My BTC wallet address:

3NbickfbfxNUphgnxgE81sYF5PxxEDcwhm

not sure if i should share thi...

My non-dev friends on Facebook are spamming with "Merry Christmas and Happy New Year". I didn't respond to them, I know am being rude but it's worth it.

Well done IKEA

To the devs at inc.com
Fuck you.
Just resign.
Do me a favour. Don't touch any computer for life.
After reading 2 articles I need to login.
Okay fine.
Facebook login fucking doesn't work.
Twitter login worked.
But but fucking take me to some idiotic article. Hello? That was not what I logged for.
Now go back. And fuck fuck fuck
Article still says login to read this.
And click on login. Nope. Nadda. Nothing happens.
How how how. How are you even getting paid?
Fuck you.
Fuck you.
Fuck you.

Copy and pasting from internet.

Without fully understanding the code.

Roses are red

Violets are blue

This is just another rant

You know what to do...

I found this question on EmguCV's forum that matches my exact issue.

First answer: Never mind - all. I answered it myself.

Welp. Thanks for nothing. How fucking difficult can it be to post your solution to the issue?

Database is being slow AF again. Team lead is investigating. This is happening more often lately and affects both production and dev because everything is just in one gigantic database. So clients are calling support being angry about the speed they get and us devs get to twiddle our thumbs while waiting for our own data to load.

The PicsArt devs poking some fun at a big fix release on the Play Store

As 2019 is nearing it's end, I wanted to share these 7 Questions for Growth with you. Enjoy! :-)

If everything I’ve done up to now is just the beginning, what’s next?

What new habit would I like to create for myself over the next 70 days?

If I had 25 years to do something great, what would it be?

What are the ten achievements I’m proudest of over the past year? What could I do as a next step to build on each one of them?

What is no longer acceptable in my life?

What do I want to do more of in life? What do I want to do less of?

How far can I go?

(From "Laws of Lifetime Growth" by Dan Sullivan and Catherine Nomura)

When you finally began to trust Google Maps and suddenly GPS losts...

give mediocre server capacity... put multiple webapps and db on that.....exepct to run properly all the time......awesome expectations

how do you devs deal with computer/screen headaches?

I’m a CS student, and last year at my software internship i had a pounding headache literally every day at work (worked 40 hours a week). I started drinking like 6 bottles of water a day and popping advil like candy, but i want to avoid them this summer.

any of you l33t vet devs have any secret tricks for these?

thx thx

How many hours of actual productive work do you devs average a day? Honestly, I think I average about 2 hours of honest, good work in my 8 hour day. Between random meaningless meetings that could be emailed out or just daily distractions (coworkers chatting, my phone, etc). Am I alone in this?

A.I EXAM STARTING IN AN HOUR,

CAN'T REMEMBER SINGLE SENTENCE

TOTALLY FREAKED OUT...

I feel like a lot of devs, last years self included.

Need to realize, a great Dev is not necessarily one that Ace in code.

But rather one that can convey and understand the problems they're to solve and more importantly the perspective of the end user.

It has fucking stayed at 100% for about 15 minutes now!! Wtf

I'm so sick and tired of people feeling threatened when improving upon their shitty code! I'm here to do a job and I enjoy my profession.

Don't take that away from me by wasting my time making me say every fucking time that I come from a good place and that I just want to provide a better solution AND not create fucking mess that will have to be rewritten when some ninja bugs occur because of completely unmaintainable crap nobody can understand. Holy shit!

I couldn't care less if you're 10 years in the company. I see that all the good devs left after dealing with your shit every God damn day.

I'm not here to deal with your insecurities and couldn't care less about pointing fingers! I just wanna do better and not write same level of quality over and over again!

You're not getting bonus points from me by sitting on your ass all day and half-assing everything you do with some lame ass excuse.

So no LGTM from me when it's utter error prone shit!

So if you don't wanna help, just get the fuck outta my way and don't waste my time! Jeeez

Man why is it that the languages that I like get shit on by like 90% of developers. Whiney little cunts that get mad at css because they think "oh I can just inline style and it'll be fine" No wonder your X looks like fucking roadkill. And I fucking love python. Maybe if the Oracle overlord didn't have a goddamn chokehold on ever major hardware manufacturer python would be more prominent.

I just had to do this :( Can't wait for C# 8 and .NET Core 3

Docker with nginx-proxy and nginx-proxy-le (Lets Encrypt) is fucking awesome!

I only have to specify environment variables with email and host name when starting new containers with web servers, and the proxy containers will automatically make a proxy to the new container, and generate lets encrypt ssl certificates. I don’t have to lift a fucking finger, it is so ducking genius

Pro tip: always make sure your methods return the correct variable.

I’m currently working with deep neural networks using tensorflow. I needed to generate some test data and wrote a program to create it. I had two text files which each consisted of approximately 5000 lines of text.

I wrote a method that should sort out some words, and make my final data shorter. When I executed the program first time on our server, it spent about 25 minutes, then crashed due to MemoryError (which in Python means that the server didn’t have enough ram). That seemed quite weird since I only had about 10k lines of text, and I even sorted out a bunch of it, and the server has 128gb ram, and nothing’s using it.

Apparently I returned the wrong variable. That meant that my program tried to save 750 quadrillion lines of text rather than just a few thousand.

Always make sure to return the correct variables!

Docker daemon: size not found

I don't get why the most devs are so into defending they're favorite programming language. I mean choose the language that gets the job done and not what's your favorite if language b sucks at doing a then I chose another one. So simple but most people don't get it. It's like the pc VS console discussion. Just play both period

2 am. Time really goes fast when coding a whole Saturday

I just spent 2 hours trying to solve my bug. Turned out I named a variable "descrbtion"...

I just cleared my trash/recycle bin (or whatever it’s called on your system). It cleared up 65 gb........ just about time to clear that shit I guess

Just what the fuck is up with the senior devs in my team? Just because it's my first job as a developer doesn't mean I can't be right at times. Why can't they fucking digest that they could be wrong at times and me trying to tell them what could be improved is just for the product and has nothing to do with their egoistic selves.

I know A.I can produce child in some way (ai can make another ai) But without f**k, the only job left for me is to become PornStar();

People seem to only want rants in here. I, in contrary, would rather like it to become Twitter for devs. You?

I discovered that you could make the computer talk using VB, and then I knew I had to learn all this.

Will you Sniff on your kids? 😆

Comment your answers..

First Privacy policy, now this..

WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON??

Like if you are Programmer.... Make your Computer Beep Boop ....Beep...Boop....

Happy fucking new year my fellow devs!

I use to work with a lot of people from all around the world, so i can say from the very first meeting if you are a good dev or not, and darn ! i hate the self confident devs who think they are the best, especially when they are junior !
I want to tell them : WAKE UP ! YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY ONE IN THE WORLD !!

Today I finally solved a docker problem I was stuck with for 2 days.
For some reason it didnt want to download the needed images although colleagues could download the same images. Every time I tried it resulted in a Python IO error.
Today I had enough of it so asked if I could join another project. I had to download the exact same image for that project and it worked... Setting up the first project worked as well since I had these images already.

I still dont know why it didnt and later did work, but that is the life of devs.

What the actual fuck, Cisco!? You have to buy a fucking license to use all the ports in a Cisco ASA router?