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Happened a while ago but I still find it funny.
*phone rings*
Me: good morning sir, how can I help you?
Client: MY WEBSITE IS OFFLINE, FIX IT RIGHT NOW.
M: I'm going to take a look, what's the domain?
C: *gives domain*
M: I see, that domain expired already, it was cancelled through our customer portal by the client, you maybe or someone you know?
C: WHAT?! MY INTERNATIONAL BUSINESS DEPENDS ON THAT DOMAIN, I'D NEVER CANCEL IT, THIS IS BULLSHIT! I'F THE SITE GOES OFFLINE FOR A MONTH I'LL FUCKING GO BANKRUPT, YOU'RE GOING TO FIX THIS RIGHT NOW.
M: if I may ask, how is your business doing right now?
C: HOW IS THAT QUESTION RELEVANT RIGHT NOW?!
M: well, you said that if the site would go offline for a month, you'd go bankrupt. The domain registration ended about half a year ago so that's why I aske......
*beeeeep beeeeep beeeeep*
Well, okay then.16 -
"Chrome 66 arrives with autoplaying content blocked by default"
Fuck yeah! Fuck you CNET, Mashables and all the other retard companies that did that.13 -
Oh.. So the deadline is tomorrow? How about we schedule a fucking FOUR HOUR meeting to speed things up?
Yeah, fuck you too...15 -
Just watched a video where someone (in relation to the new mass surveillance law in the netherlands) asked people on the street if they had something to hide.
Everyone said no.
"Could you get your phone and show me around?"
Everyone said yes.
"May I take a look at your messages/pictures/browsing history?"
Suddenly 80 percent said no.
"But you said you had nothing to hide!"
"I'm going to take that back."45 -
Windows: Copying 2,513 items from <here> to <here>.
Me: OK.
Windows: 84% complete.
Me: OK.
Windows: Shit.
Me: What?!
Windows: "Copying" dialog box is not responding.
Me: Fuck you.
Windows: Well, yeah, sorry.
Me: Fuck you.
Windows: Do something else until it unfreezes.
Me: OK.
.
.
.
Me: Fuck you. Everything's stuck. Can't click anywhere.
Windows: You can still use your mouse, though.
Me: Yeah, I guess. Wait a second, it's also stuck. The whole thing is frozen as ice.
Windows: What about keyboard?
Me: I said, THE WHOLE FUCKING THING!
Windows: Well, sorry?
Me: FUCK YOU!!19 -
So this guy passed large objects as function arguments directly instead of referencing. What a jackass. So the program was slow as fuck AND taking up too much memory.
So yeah, I'm basically ranting about myself.2 -
Brain: hey kiddo, want to stay home and work on your side project today? I'm feeling good.
Me: fuck yeah finally!
*call in sick.
*open laptop. Tabs and editors already waiting.
*play music, no sound.
*system is all laggy.
*fuck, restart.
*
*Installing windows updates...
*leaves for work.18 -
>Building advertising platform
>Life is good
>Fire up the dev server and open in browser
>No assets
>What the fuck
>Check code and config for like an hour it's all good
>What the fuck
>Try incognito browser, it works.
>What the fuck
>Oh yeah. Adblock. Fuck.4 -
I FUCKING MADE IT GUYS! I JUST PASSED THE HARDEST COURSE AT UNIVERSITY WHICH IS ABOUT DATA STRUCTURES AND ALGORITHMS! I DRAGGED THIS WITH ME A WHOLE YEAR AND I JUST GOT THE NOTIFICATION THAT I MADE IT. I'M SO FUCKING HAPPY GUYS I CANT BELIEVE IT!!!!!!26
-
Website: We care about your privacy and don't sell your information to third parties.
*inspects Privacy Badger*
*notices a truckload of Google/facebook trackers/ad thingies*
Yeah why don't you go fuck yourself.14 -
Postman: We will stop supporting our Chrome app. Please download our "Native" app for better performance.
No motherfuckers.. Go die, alone, while your fucking family watch you bleed to death helplessly.
Electron is not native, don't mix true native development with lazy ass electron. Fuck you. A native postman would've been around 15MB in size but your "native" installer is 68MB so shut the fuck up and don't call it native or I will stick my native dick in your fucking throats.
I develop native apps So yeah, I'm pissed when web devs are starting to call electron and JS as native desktop apps... They are not... Now fuck off you smelly cunts.43 -
*opens camera*
*permission popup asking for contacts/telephone permissions*
*installs Open Camera*
Really, fucking phone/contact permissions to take pictures?!
Yeah fuck right off.28 -
I'm signing up for steam for playing a specific game.
Entered a freaking difficult/long password: "Choose a less commonly used password"
Yeah right, what in the actual fuck.26 -
FUCK HELL YEAH! I'm done with my FUCKING THESIS! I just handed it in - that filthy time eating piece of blood sucking papershit! God yes! I'm proud and relieved as fuck!
Got really sick as well! Fuck the stress! Fuck everything. I'm just gonna play Witcher 3 all day long with some nice cup of tea !
28 -
Client: so how could we test this 😬
Me: you know what, send me an email at linuxxx@companyname.com and I can look if I can properly reply! Keep in mind though that this is for one time only, no further questions through that email address!
Client: Yes of course! *sends email*
Me: *tests* - *works fine* - *messages client back through the ticket system*
Client: *proceeds to send two follow up questions to my fucking work email address*
Me: *selects emails* - *marks emails as spam and deletes them*
Fucking seriously?! Cunt.18 -
Today my manager told me she would get us phpstorm amongst other things If I requested them.
Sometimes I really want to hug this woman.
Awww yii phpstorm rules22 -
My parents recently got divorced and sold their house, so I had to go through all my old stuff and found this beauty! A pair of new bateries and it still work! Fuck Yeah!
14 -
So, this coworker of mine just said I'll never be a good programmer because I was looking for an answer on Stackoverflow, instead of figuring it out by myself.
Yeah, Satan. I'm sorry if I wasn't born knowing everything about a language I started learning a month ago.
Fuck off.19 -
Bob?
Yeah?
Bob, could you hand me that paperclip?
Sure mate!
Thanks.
Oh... Bob?
Uhhh... yeah?
Could you also hand me that paperclip?
Right... sure, of course.
Thanks.
Bob?
What?
Could you also hand me the next paperclip?
Fuck off, why don't I just give you the whole fucking box!
Yeah Bob, please, throw the whole fucking box.
Wait, is that a printed screenshot of my code you're attaching the paperclips to?
It sure is, Bob.
16 -
Vacation for two weeks, fuck yeah, two weeks of not having to give a single fuck about customers and their problems.
🍺🍿17 -
This actually happend in my secondary school class. A new guy came to our class. The whole family moved from another city.
*new guy want to start conversation with me*
new guy: "So you into computers and stuff like that?"
me: "Yes" *seems like a cool guy , want to develop the conversation further* "what about you man? do you like computers? do yo program or smth?"
*new guy wants to look cool in front of me*
new guy: " Yeah dude, actually I am hacker"
*me saying to myself, oh fuck not again this shit*
he continues with: " Once I got into the NASA system"
*switches mode to making fun of him*
me: "what the fuck man? really? that´s freaking cool, how you manage to do that? "
new guy: " you know the thing when you press F10 when starting a comupter? "
me: "You mean BIOS?"
new guy : "yeah yeah man through that shit"
* I am done, laughing my ass off and walks away*1 -
Fuck yeah this will be my greatest answer on Stack Overflow thus far!
Massive loads of examples, references to code, discussions and articles and now finally busy on the final conclusion...
wait... WHAT!!!!?>? !@@#$#SH$['\'
4 -
My wife took the kids to the mall.
I work from home.
me: fuck yeah, I'll be able to work now, since I focus a lot more when there's a lot of silence in the house, looking forward to this coding session
me: *takes the fattest 2 hour nap*
I guess I was tired...9 -
My transparent display is working just need to edit the system of it yayyy.
You can see trough fuck yeah !!!!
24 -
I hate this attitude of my study (when i studied):
"it might be a good idea to teach the students how to program securely by default?"
"oh no but we just want to teach them the basics"
"so why not the secure basics by default?!"
"nah we just want them to get started and understand it, that's all. We'll get to the secure way later on"
Well, fuck you.17 -
The Dutch referendum about the new mass surveillance law is a go, fuck yeah!
Also, due to a some stuff, a delay is postponing the start of the mass surveillance to May next year.
A little more time to setup secure stuffs :312 -
Fuck yeah!
6 monitors are success-fucking-fully running on my setup.
Fun detail is that WITH the official AMD driver, one screen wasn't turning on and one had a weird resolution but WITHOUT it, it works completely fine!
Yes, it runs completely fine on Linux (Kubuntu).
Finally have my dream setup.42 -
Me (to friend): So all your information these days is stored in the cloud.
Friend: Yeah I know that's crazy, huh!?
Me: Yeah!
Friend: I wonder if there's any disruption of the data when planes fly through.
Me: What do you mean?
Friend: Like when a cloud breaks when a plane move through it since we store our data in the precipitation layer. Nikola Tesla would be so proud.
Me: Uh... The fuck?
Me (thinking to myself): maybe he's just joking...5 -
"Ugh... what a day, so exhausted from sitting at the computer all day. Can't wait to get home from work and
INSTALL ARCH LINUX FUCK YEAH!!"6 -
Suddenly my KDE neon installation didn't want to start anymore. (emergency recovery shell)
Immediately searching for solutions, praying for the best...
Saw a suggestion about removing any custom /etc/fstab entries. Removed an entry i added earlier today.
Boots again right away, fuck yeah, Linux, I fucking love you ❤︎6 -
Javascript developer interview
One of the RH interviewers started asking about myself, personal information, etc..
He : well, let me introduce you our tech lead, he will make you some question about JS
Me : alright
Tech Lead : ummm, do you know javascript?
Me : yes..?
Tech Lead : ok, cool. We will call you.
I got the job..11 -
Fuck the politics
Fuck cunt licking managers
Fuck net neutrality
Fuck those fonts
Fuck birthdays
Fuck your emotions
Fuck Instagram
Fuck your servers
Fuck television
Fuck the monsoons
Fuck the code
Fuck your crush
Fuck corporates
Fuck vacations
Fuck religion
Fuck Facebook
Fuck vintage cars
Fuck new smartphones
Fuck the world
That guy running tea stall on weekends, yeah! Fuck him too.
FUCK EVERYTHING!!!!!!36 -
00:00: Yeah I'll change that now, it'll only take 5 minutes.
00:05: well that's done, better do this too though before I forget.
02:20: well that escalated quickly.. Better grab 3 hours sleep while I can.
04:00: Fuck.4 -
Fuck yeah.
Last year our government voted out new mass surveillance law through like it was nothing AND with a huge amount of votes in favor and hardly any against. (remember that the government is *supposed* to represent the people of the country)
A few students made a referendum happen, 48 percent of our people came to vote for this.
The first exit poll results are about 50/50!
I'm happy as fuck, damn!
Sorry for this slightly political posts and if this entirely violates all terms, I'll remove it. I thought this fits, though, because of what this new law.15 -
I googled "fuck apple" and ended up here... so yeah fuck this piece of shit company with shitty overpriced cancer inducing products. Xcode is the worse garbage I've ever seen in my life. For a company that masturbates to their superior design well they can eat a fat dick cause its horrible. Everything this fucking company does makes me waste my time. Add a fucking notch to their displays, retarded app store process, makes you workaround to install latest OS on older machines, hide options in convoluted interface, everything, make you feel like your 12 again and living with your parents. fuck them. fuck apple fan boys. fuck tim cook. fuck kids that jack off to iphones fuck you if you own a macbook and drink at starbucks . this is the last fucking ios app I ever make. bye23
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That moment when the resident IT guy/teacher at your school comes to you at lunch and you look sad.
Me: Hello.
Teacher: What happened?
Me: Batteries almsot dead :(
Teacher: Well, I've got good news for you. I was talking to the school director about you.
Me: Um ... shit
Teacher: We're looking to get you an intership at the company that does networking shit for us (Netcom, anybody?)
Me: FUCK YEAH ... thanks!
*Day brightened by angelic light*8 -
It's sooo awesome when a challenging project starts giving results. The confidence levels go straight to - THROW ANYTHING AT ME BITCH! I CAN DO IT!2
-
!rant
*in slack*
Me: Team's gonna watch IT. Wanna come?
Friend from other team: Yeah, sure!
*in cinema*
Friend: WTF! Why is this I.T? This is scary as fuck!
Me: I-T? It's "it". HAHAHAHA It's a remake of the It 1990 movie.
Friend: I don't know anything about that. I'm scared as hell! I thought this would be some tech stuff and crying in the server room or something!7 -
Software company director: we build Java applications right?
Devs: nah, javascript.
Director: it's the same, right?
Devs: no
Director: fuck, I pitched a Java application.
A few hours later...
Director on the phone: Yeah, we are building it in Java...10 -
Ever been at a company that makes you feel worthless and useless? To add to that, have a director who has physically assaulted you? Company refuses to train, but demands that certain set of skills. Won't give a raise but has literally millions in funds for advertising. Yeah. Fuck that.13
-
I really need to get my lazy ass up and get the fuck to work on the privacy site.
Yeah let's fucking do that. I've got a nice special beer as motivation as well!19 -
This is a fucking mess!!!
Refactor?!?!?!?!
Fuck it...
File > New Project
Yeah, fuck it. It'd be easier to just start over.9 -
I did it! I am now part of a web company as an intern, entirely self-taught. This is so cool, when they looked at my code they were surprised about my skills and how clean my code was. Fuck yeah, I'm happy8
-
Gooooood morning devRant! Fucking friday, fuck yeah.
Hereby a rant which @dfox asked to make to test if a possible bug is fixed.
Have a great day everybody and thanks to dfox for keeping me in the loop on this!17 -
Friend: So what's the plan for Christmas
Me: Nothing much just coding
Friend: No apart from work
Me: Yeah coding
Friend: That means, you not getting drunk or laid this Christmas
Me: No, because I can't C Sharp when coding
Friend: Fuck developers2 -
So I'm doing my thing... Suddenly all open windows start closing one by one and computer starts a shut down.. and i realize the windows update is coming..
But like.. can you at least give me a 2 minutes heads up? How the fuck such a process gets approved in microsoft?
"Yeah just close everything and force restart.. it's fine"
10 -
A sweet girl of my class asked me yesterday, if i can help her to refresh her IT skills. I said "yes ofc im glad to help" . Today she repeated it, while whole class was listening. Other classmates said" yeah good idea we want to join"
Well, fuck it..39 -
Taking online privacy to the next level?
Not entirely sure but I've gotta say that it feels awesome to run an instance of searx.me on my own server and kind of use my own server for searching stuff online now!
Fuck yeah.71 -
You retarded cunt. Yeah, you. No, don’t stare at me like you did nothing.
I fucking wrote 3/4 of your stupid script because you put batch in PowerShell and don’t know what a fucking anonymous object is, and you take credits without acknowledging I helped the shit out of you. Do it one more time and I’ll bomb your hard drive with a fucking hammer.
Useless fuck19 -
Website on sign off.
Client: yeah I just updated all the content on the old site but that's ok you can just copy and paste it, right?
Currently trying to formulate a reply that doesn't start with the words "For fuck sake..."8 -
I thought this launch (security/privacy blog) would go smooth:
- analytics fell, except for one thing, apart for yet unknown reasons
- MySQL came with a very weird error which took me like half an hour of research before I hacked my way past it.
- the firewall started to fuck around for no reason, works now though.
Nginx worked without issues though, as well as NetData 😅
Yeah, didn't go as planned :P10 -
One day with a lot of hours trying later:
Got an OpenVPN server running from scratch and can (still have to write the actual authentication code) accept or refuse clients through a php script ran from a bash script with a username and password.
Fuck yeah!15 -
Having to argue with team members inside my head.
I have a one-man startup, so I have all these imaginary team members who specialise in different things so that I can concentrate on whatever I am doing for that day.
But it seems my developer side of me hates the manager and UX designer these days for making changes half way through the project.
Oh yeah, and my accountant side thinks I'm spending too much. Fuck you, I needed that money.4 -
Fuck yeah!! The power supply that I've been working on since last week is all cleaned up and back in action 😁😁😁
14 -
I'm supposed to be a techie and prefer all the digital stuff, but this is by far the best Christmas present I'll be getting this year
5 -
Tutanota (encrypted mail service) is releasing a new android app soon which won’t be using GCM anymore so that the app won’t be the reason a phone connects to anything google anymore and it’ll be on F-Droid soon!
Fuck yeah, Turanota, I fucking love you ❤️12 -
So yesterday was a regular old day where I came into the office and began my work. My office mate that sits next to me happens to be having an issue with her batch script. It wasn't running correctly so she had decided to call in IT and have them take a look at it. What she was trying to do was process some images through a dedicated super-computer located on site.
So as you can imagine with both of them standing right next to me it was hard not to listen in on their conversation. The IT guy decided to go through a barrage of different troubleshooting methods to figure out what was happening with her script. And soon enough they discovered what was wrong. It happened to be an issue with how Windows decides to deal with new line characters. FYI it looks like this shit "\n \r"
The fucking \r looked like a directory to Linux. So it would squeal to a halt every single time she tried to run.
How this happened was due to her using notepad to edit her batch file.
At this point, I made a comment about her use of Notepad.
"Oh, you're using notepad? I've had similar issues like this in the past when I've used notepad. I really hate notepad." I said with a slight chuckle.
And that was pretty much the end of our encounters. However, at the end of the day, she decided to speak up about this.
"I don't appreciate you making comments about my use of Notepad. That was a form of microaggression towards me, and I don't want you to do it again."
Completely taken aback I replied.
"I'm sorry you took it that way, it was a joke and wasn't meant to be taken personally."
"Well, your intent does not change impact. And by the way, I take pride in my code and scripting. I don't need your commentary about my code nor your micro-aggressions." She said in a huff.
"Well again, I'm sorry you feel that way," I replied back
*I'd like to say that this situation is loosely paraphrased, but the essence of what happened is still there.
At this point, this is what I have to say about this situation. Why the FUCKING FUCK are you using notepad to program anything. There ARE A SHIT TON of differing programs that are available for your use and you decide to use fucking notepad?!?! $%&*@#$^
You could use notepad++, you could use Sublime, you could use every-fucking-thing except Notepad!!! If anything I think I had every right to make a comment about your stupid use of notepad. And darling, your script not working was well deserved, I hope you run into more errors like this because you deserve nothing less for your arrogance. So you can take your opinions and shove them up your fat-ass because at the end of the day I don't give a FUCK about your opinions on my micro-aggressions that you're spouting off about.
I suggest the next time you feel attacked about your code perhaps you should take a cold hard look at yourself before thinking that I'm the one that is the FUCKING problem.17 -
Fuck you and you and everyone!!
It's midnight and I'm in a village on the top of a FUCKIN MOUNTAIN!!!
Wind is so fast that it's literally blowing whistles while passing by my ears.
And it's fukin cold as fuck.
> Hey dude, are you coding on the top of a mountain??
> HELL YEAH!!!
15 -
Guuuyyyssss
In my recent rant I told that I will go to an programming challange (or so) in Bonn, Germany.
Today my boss told me I can go if I present the competition to all other bosses in our department + I will be a participant in the "innovation section" of our department. YESS FUCKING YESSSSSSS
I could get fucking promoted jeeeeeeeeeeeee7 -
school takes the creativity out of programming.
you want to try something new?
sorry, can't have that. functionality = priority.
school takes the choice out of programming.
- you're gonna use x language
- with x api
- in x environment
- and make it in x way
- because if you don't, your gonna fail x assignments
- because programming is about getting the job done, with no creativity
yeah fuck you too
school takes the cleverness out of programming
you get a turn left function. it turns a 'turtle' left any amount of degrees that you pass it, you have to make a turn right function to turn right 90 degrees. well, if you thought turning left -90 degrees was a good idea to make a turn right function, then fuck you. you have to turn left three timeswith the default 90 degrees instead because it's more practical/logical.
fuck that.
anyone else hate the movements to get programming into schools?14 -
I got my first job!
A real, full-time job that doesn't pay me shit!
I haven't even graduated Uni yet!
FUCK YEAH! 🍻11 -
!dev
Me: walks into a coffee shop and orders a latte
Barista-1: can you cover for me tomorrow.
Barista-2: I am busy with family. Do you have plans?
B-1: no.
B-2: are you sick?
B-1: yeah! My throat hurts soooo much and I can hardly breath!
B-2: ahhhhh. That’s too sad.
B-1: commences to make my latte while breaking heavily into it.
Me: Walks the fuck away.
Fuck. That. Shit.
The $6 it costs for that latte isn’t worth missing a week of paying work with the flu!
I got no time for that type of shit. Stay the fuck home for fuck sakes.10 -
!rant
I just started to use Fira Code as my main font because another awesome user recommended it and I must say, this shit is beautiful. This is what I love about this community. I learn more and get to know more cool shit because of what users say in here than the 5 years I spent at uni. You ninjas rock!7 -
Fuck yeah!!! After five days of fiddeling round in assembly without any sort of tutorial finally, im there :)
16 -
This years~
It’s a class that introduce an introduction to programming.
First weeks of the class.
T: “For those who already know this basic stuff , You can take a final test. If you pass, you get an ‘A’ and dont have to attend to this class for the rest of this term.”
Me: “Fuck yeah~ Let’s do this”
—9 -
You know when you click an image to see a larger version and a light box loads a smaller image. Who the fuck tested this shit and thought "Yeah that looks alright."?1
-
I really hate it when people immediately say "Yeah I don't get this stuff" even before taking a moment to even try to understand it. Mostly when talking about computers and coding
This even happens with the most simple thing I show. I sent someone a picture of a registration page I made, and I said: "This is where you create an account". He replies: "Yeah I don't get this stuff". I thought to myself: fuck, what is going on with this world if they dont even understand what a registration page is?
Another time I told my mom that data on databases is stored in tables just because I thought she was interested, and she said: "Yeah I don't get this stuff". COME ON EVERYBODY KNOWS WHAT A TABLE IS.
Just stop saying you don't get it before I finished, just because its about code and programming, its fucking annoying and it makes me lose faith in humanity9 -
Yeah sure, you can have your site files and database. Host it yourself. Get your cousin to maintain it. Go ahead. Yeah, sure, you're gonna do ~really~ well. Bye bye, ya micro-managing fuck nugget :D3
-
Ever had one of those moments when sites run by cunts (fuck you CNET) autoplays videos at 200% volume?
Use the extension called "Silent Site Sound Blocker" to make sure only whitelisted websites can play sounds.
Fuck yeah!8 -
Congratulations on a great year of continuous stress and being successful. As a reward here's a 50 bucks increase to your salary.
Yeah... great.. fuck you!1 -
Fuck you idiots at medium.com for your sheer impudence. Not only that you track me, which I havn't agreed to, you think it's a good idea to nag around and gather even more data!
You stinking farts label your stalking as "let's make things official"! Who shit in your head?
I've seen other places way more often, and guess what, no coffee bar has ever had the idea to ask for my ID card just because I bought my second or third coffee there.
But just because it's the internet you think it's OK to be intrusive wankers, yeah?! Fuck off.
4 -
"WTF IS THIS?"
Exclaimed the developer that had never bothered to learn proper architectural patterns such as MVC in his web development are, failing to grasp the folder structure that was open in front of him, gasping at those strange php files that contained not only namespace declarations....but requires, uses and GASP! CLASSES!!
"That is Laravel my dude, built that in Laravel some time ago. Been running without an issue ever since." I mentioned as I reminded him that i had provided documentation had he ever needed to update or work with the application(currently it just needed a static page, which is why he had the app open in his editor)
See children. This is why you don't just learn a tool and never bother to learn something else.
Y'all should have seen how confused this dude was.
Das what yo dumbass gets.
OAN I am getting placed into more hardcore Business Intelligence roles.
The ammount of statistics and overall math required is....
Damn near 0. Data Scientists are full of shit. Anyone in an analyst role is full of shit.
I would know.
I IS one.14 -
Me, going on a vacation
"Fuck yeah, finally a break, beach, grill, nice. Im not bringing my laptop, theres no way im touching any code."
Me, 10 minutes after i got on the bus
"Oh, i figured out whys that one thing not working, let me just get my lapt...shit"6 -
There was this dude in my class named Mohammed and he always wrote this code that worked well but removing one teeny tiny thing would fuck up everything. My teacher then introduced the word "Mogramming" and whenever someone wrote code in the way Mo did the teacher would go like 'hey, stop mogramming and start programming!". Yeah, that was funny :).
-
Yesterday I stayed at home sick. Had a bad case of the EXPLOSIVE DIARRHEA FROM HELL. Was feeling ok but could not walk away from me throne.
Went in today cuz the lead was not gonna be there and shit always breaks on Freyja's day as we all know.
1 and a half hours before we clock out and go home someone calls saying that students are trying to drop from classes at the last minute and our app ain't doing it.
I "fixed" the app last week and ran a small login test. It work so I thought it was fine. Stupid me for making unprofessional and retarded assumptions.
Manager freaks out. The entire school freaks out. Coworker lols cuz he ain't got to work on it. I start mind debugging the entire bitcheridoo.
45 minutes later...and I was able to successfully go through almost 15k lines of code of php/html/js code and fucking FIXED it with tests and all for real.
Went at it hard. Babe ass manager was like 0.0 and then (͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Called head office and told them everything was undr control.
Dropped the phone like a mic. Mic drop.
Then I looked at manager and coworker and said "ya I fucked up, but I am still the king"
Both nodded in agreement.
Everyone got wet with my sheer awesome troubleshooting php master skills.
Got home thinking about how boss I am.
Fucking Texas af b. Can't touch this heat. The rangers still suck and so do the cowboys. The astros and the texans don't exist because there is only room for one. Go spurs.
Still have diarrhea.
Fuck yeah.9 -
!rant
Amazon is giving ML tutorials for free for those of us interested in the field :)
I think its pretty cool that they are providing the training for free, not that they need the money dem greedy basterds!
Here is the link
"BuT aL! AmAZon iZ eViL!!" Yeah fuck it whatever. This is not for you then. Grab a dick and carry on(free dicks for everyone regarding of Amazon and AWS feelings)
https://aws.amazon.com/training/...5 -
That "fuck yeah!" feeling you get when you finally fix that bug that has been bugging you for the last hour...
..only to find another one hidden around the corner. -
Insomnia: yeah, nice cors header
Postman: neat cors header mate
Fetch in browser: where the FUCK is the cors header you retard7 -
Woohoo we asked for a prioritized list of changes , we got 2 power points instead.
Yeah, fuck you too.4 -
Apple flips the bird to devs again...
So I go to release a new version of my app (critical updates and bug fixes from mgmt) and I had just updated my phone. Yeah, that was a fucking mistake.
“This version of Xcode is not compatible with the new version of iOS.”
Ok... update Xcode...
“The new version of Xcode is not compatible with your version of OSX”
WTF?! This version isn’t that old? Fine... update OSX. 5 hours later...
“Hey, just wanted to let you know that we decided to break every one of your web development tool setting and basically nothing works on your computer now, oh yeah, and we’re Apple so FUCK YOU.”11 -
Fuck yeah I love Thursdays! Deployments went well in the office, freelance clients are satisfied as well and I am drunk with my wife... what more can a dev(ranter) ask for?!2
-
Okay so
Client asks for a bunch of data what can be easily calculated with excel. I think to myself, yeah, ill not fuck around adding numbers 1by1, ill just use excel.
Client wants a program, says he likes having a program do stuff. Mind you, this isnt an universal program at all, it just has to work for this specific input file.
Me: packages the original excel file into a jar and makes it unpackage when run.
Client: is happy
Me: ???1 -
!rant
Today I bring happy news. First company I interviewed at clicked so well, both personally and technically, and they expressed an eagerness to hire me on the spot. I figured we might as well talk salary to compare them against other interviews. The offer they made me was so good I decided to sign there and then. They said they participate in a fair wage program but for me this is absolutely the dream. I get lots of nice perks to boot. And they've already mailed me some tech documentation to go over so I can prepare, as I'll be working with the latest front end stuff and of course my trusty .NET (and yes I asked it'll be C#, haha).
I can't even begin to express how great this is. The last decade I've been unemployed for several years in total, and vastly underpayed when I was employed. I've worked in some toxic environments, been falling behind on tech and wrote a lot of rubbish code as a result of that. But it seems that somehow all the hard work I did put in paid off by taking a chance when it presented itself and go in accepting I might fail horribly. And I did bomb the tech questions actually. But they let me explain myself and come to answers together and saw beyond the black and white.
In short I feel like I've won the work lottery and will start 2018 in style. Part of me is still scared though, that there will be a mistake or a catch or even somehow I'll ruin everything. But that is the risk in life and I'm just going to have to deal. What I can control and will do is my very best, because I want to keep succeeding and have a great future career. And I hope I can inspire others in the same boat with my actions too.2 -
Le me: "my code is awesome! The way I did XY and Z is insanely cool, efficient, and maintainable."
Le Boss: "yeah so let's schedule a code review next week."
Le me : "... fuck, Fuck, FUUUUCK!"
Internal Screaming3 -
"BlueStacks 4, 6 times faster than every phone on Earth!!!"
*wank wank*
Meanwhile, it can't even do window compositing (y u no use the fucking compositor of the fucking OS?!) or keyboard input (sends Return twice apparently). But yeah, faster than every phone on Earth. MY FUCKING ASS IS FASTER, FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT!!!
So much for a Sunday where my servers can go straight to hell for a day, and I'll just play some fucking games.. so much for that.
FUCK!!!6 -
On my linkedin profile it is clearly mentioned that I am a Java developer.
Recruiter: Hey, I want to offer you a super cool PHP job position.
Me: But I haven’t mentioned anywhere that I am familiar with PHP.
Recruiter: Yeah, I know, but I thought you may want to switch to PHP for a while.
Me: o_O. Fuck you, miss. I do not switch programming languages like I change my socks. Who the fuck teaches you these approaches?12 -
Who the fuck doesn't use responsive design. Oh yeah my Job. Thank God I quit Friday. Fuck this old ass dirt company4
-
GUYS I DID IT
AND I ONLY HAD TO LOOK AT THE ARCHWIKI FOR GRUB INSTALLATION
AM I COOL NOW
(going to install to my computer a little later, don't worry i'm not done here)
8 -
Teacher: The next 3 months we're going to learn web dev
Me thinking: fuck yeah, finally, I love web dev.
Teacher 1 week later: shows us how to build with wix-like builder...12 -
How intellij handles syntax errors while reformating code vs eclipse:
Intellij: I'm not sure what you want to do there, so I'll just make slight adjustments.
Eclipse: Yeah, I don't understand this so fuck your whole file. -
I love my notebook but still...
Fuck you to the person at Lenovo who thought that it would be a great idea to support 16gb of ram and then put 4gb internal ram into it.
I can add an 8gb stick to it, totalling at 12gb. There are no 12gb sticks (as far I am aware of) so yeah, fuck 16gb "supported" by the mainboard, 12 is the maximum.6 -
Fuck yeah!!! After over a month of being stuck without a phone, the funds have finally been released to buy a new one. It'll be the OnePlus 6T. Kernel source available on launch, wicked specs that rival PC's - 8GB of LPDDR4 RAM, a quarter TB of storage... Fuck yeah!!!! Never settle indeed!!! :D5
-
Yeah yeah, good ol' DropBox.
Which fucking piss-wanker has made the decision to NOT SUPPORT encrypted ext4 starting in november???
You think I'm going to reformat my SSD just for you, you little stinky cunt, huh?
CrapBox has hearned itself a place in /dev/null
Go fuck yourself, you hobo-raped STD host!10 -
Did not expect this from Google. Seems like you're hiring real linguistic pros.
Now this is not the only thing I didn't like, they're very disorganized & the interviewer got sick & two of three interviewers were so cocky.. bad bad vibes
On the other side, a small local company is giving warm & good vibes, seems more accommodating even with lower pay.. their website sucks & the tech director was honest & smiling.
So yeah, Fuck You Google
..|.
5 -
New position at work. Lots of power in regards to tech stacks of my choice.
I feel like Neo.
First project was finished in a week using Clojure. A basic application that would automate the process of adding our students into a particular active directory system in which many other things happen at the same time including updates to pins and other shit as well as networking and wifi permissions. Works fast as fuuuuuuuuuck, the alternative existed(somewhat) in php and while there was nothing wrong other than speed I wanted to show the head of my department what i could do.
It was anticlimactic as fuck. I thought it was gonna take me longer. It fucking didn't and i am glad as shit. It is now working like an absolute powerhouse in its own environment and being monitored by the sys admins, they loved how easy it was to deploy and how well behaved it is.
The head of the department is impressed as fuck and the board of directors got a hold of it. Reason being that I am being displayed as some sort of wizard that used ancient alien tech in the 21st century.
Fuck yes, major win.
I also get to add Clojure to my resumee. Hod even said that if needed be they will rethink my salary to add the fact that i get to use this tech where no one else can.11 -
13 fucking USD in shipping for a 9 USD rubber duck? Fuck no.
Spend $2 a month and most likely forget I am now subscribing to devRant++? Yeah, sure. Why not, right?
Seriously though, thank God for this platform, I'm luckily not the only one with struggles..5 -
Just opened my laptop to see if I can upgrade my ram, and yes I can
And I've got space for a 2.5 drive as well!
Fuck yeah!
All I need is a 1080 inside of this :P
But I've just got a shitty built-in gpu...
16 -
Mate - whatcha doing ...
Me - oh just hacking nasa
Mate - seriously!? 😯😨
Me - OOOOh yeah I do it all the time see (shows similar photo)
Mate - don't hack me 😭
Me (in head) - you poor dumb fuck...
Me irl - I won't if you don't piss me off 😏
9 -
Today is my birthday and all I checked in was a blank space with the commit message: "fuck yeah, last year in my twenties"!7
-
My progression of learning git rebase:
Year 1: WTF just happened?! Where is my code?! *deletes and re-clones repo*
Year 2: Ok if I do it suuuper carefully I can get the other dev's one-line change into my branch...shit...shit...wait...fuck...oh lol it worked.
Year 3: Oh yeah let me organize my commits real quick. *drop pick pick squash reword pick fixup drop pick* *git push -f* 😎7 -
I think Matlab was only invented to fuck with people. Yeah, let's start indices with 1. Oh, and set copy and paste on Ctrl+W and and Alt+Y.
You didn't save your code? Too bad, the network went down and I lost the license.3 -
Im learning python(it's my first real programming language) and I finally understood for loops.... yeeeey6
-
Aye so i got a new job, and its android. I thought "yeah sure, ive been a java dev my whole life, it will be easy".
And it is easy.
But its like a fleshed out java, with a trillion built in classes and xml (seroiusly, fuck xml), and also the studio eats away my ram.5 -
"iOS Development is easier"
Yeah, right? There's no dropdown, no checkbox, no radio button, no placeholder for multiline textfields, ...
Motherfck!
You have to manually do everything yourself and lay things out in their messy slow Xcode. Apple doesn't include important things only because they have randomly decided not to include them! Fuck this job.8 -
Oh yeah that shouldn't take too long right? I mean it's just the front end.
No shut your fucking dumb ass mouth up. It will take long. The front end is very complicated, and your stupid fucking ass who couldn't learn to code is in no position to estimate how long it will take. Do us all a favor and stick to the "business" side. Fucking incompetent idiot.
If you're not a programmer, when it comes to estimating how long a task will take. Just shut the fuck up. Just cause you work in this industry does not qualify you to estimate a task. Just shut the fuck up.1 -
When you are watching IIHF while programming and trying to create an algorithm for app when you see how players move and realized that you need to move the array as they move Fuck yeah it's working now
Fan of Slovakia.1 -
Today i touched bash scripting. and i must sya its actually not as hard as everybody says it is. Friend said it was hard as fuck but i did loops, if, while and etc and it isnt that hard so far. Yeah sure hard stuff gonna be hard what the fuck do you expect ? I might actually continue on this little script.
Oh and yeah the script is for my school. We have a pretty good router in here it costs about 500$ and i played with it today. Created network scanner for my teacher to simplify the work.6 -
GO AND FUCK YOURSELVES. MANY PEOPLE RANT ABOUT JOB HUBTING AND INSANE REQUIREMENTS. SO HERE IN SPAIN I'M SURE THE SITUATION IS WORSE. NO FUCKING JOBS. WHEN YOU FIND AN OFFER THAT DOESN'T MENTION PHP, JAVA OR COBOL OHH. YOU NEED TO BE A FUCKING WP, FULL STACK, ANDROID AND IOS DEVELOPER, A FUCKING SYSADMIN AND HAVE 99 YEARS OF EXPERIENCE. SO YOU CAN SAY: hey search a junior offer! YEAH SURE ONE SECOND. 4-15 FUCKING YEARS OF FUCKING EXPERIENCE. GO AND FUCK YOURSELVES AAAAH
8 -
Today I tried medication (concerta 36mg) for my ADD for the first time in my life (im 26 years old).
Result is fuck yeah! I feel like a human being whos able to focus on shit. Im so jealous of normal people having a decent attention span and decent working memory.25 -
Ya boi got a new vehicle. Its an SUV(cuz i got kids) a nissan murano 2017, maaaan this one is a good vehicle.
When I leave the truck on and I take the keys with me it makes this little beeping sound. And because I am weird I like to say: "ah, sentry mode"
I spent 10 years driving a Honda Civic. Not gon a lie, it was a really good car and it never gave me any issues. But it was starting to show its wear and tear and I didn't trust it for a long trip sort of deal.
Is this dev related? Fuck no, I was just fixing to be random and te y'all I got a new vehicle.
Texas14 -
Got official announcement that power will be cut off and given in schedule. For many weeks.
Fuck, we are all just adult toodlers pretending to run businesses as a game. Right? So yeah, just fuck us.8 -
Hey winter do you know what ?
Winter: Heyyyy Im back!
Me: Yeah that sucks also fuck your fucking snow.
If anybody dont get it I FUCKING HATE SNOW.11 -
When every ubuntu based distro fails, from kubuntu to xubuntu, lubunto, mint etc.
You will always have Linux Lite. How the fuck this thing manages to keep 2 vs code editors opened as well as firefox and chrome at the sime time while at 3.55g mem(according to htop) without fucking up?
Good engineering, das how. Kudos to my ninjas at the Linux Lite team. This is why I recommend this distro to anyone wanting to go Linux. Good for the beginner and the working professional alike(I use it for work)4 -
Shit Project Managers say.. to my coworker when I'm not there :
"Hey do you think she's working hard enough ?..I don't know, she has only made 2 commits in the past week so.. "
Fortunately my coworker defended me and told me after but yeah.. As if you could measure efforts and work in development by counting lines of code, fuck-tard.5 -
ffmpeg...
I FUCKING LOVE YOU!!
I CAN JUST STACK THOSE FILTERS WITH NO RESTRICTIONS OVER AND OVER WITH DIFFERENT INPUTS AND OUTPUTS!!
Also: it fucking works with still images, AND IT’S FUCKING FAST!!
It’s around FOUR (4, DO YOU REALISE THE IMPROVEMENT) times faster to GAUSSIAN blur an image and then composite an image over it with ffmpeg, than to composite the image with imagemagick (no blurring)!!3 -
Im thinking...
Overclock the laptop screen to 120hz or just buy a new screen thats 120hz and then overclock to 144hz or just go all in and buy 144hz screen.
HMMMM hard decision but i think you know what i will choose since im Haxk20.
Ouuu fuck yeah lets try overclocking it ffs !!!!!!!21 -
FUCK YOU MS SQL!
DO YOU REALLY THINK THAT MAKING ME WRITE 60 FUCKING COLUMN NAMES BY HAND WILL STOP ME FROM COPYING AN ID?
Yeah it actually will but fuck you. I want to merge data and you make this work a pain in the ass.
Bunch of cunts.8 -
!rant
Had a meeting with the head of my department concerning the status of many of our current projects. Them projects are huge and it is 2 dedicated devs(me and the lead) working on them whilst training our CMS admin in development to help out(dude is talented af and really digs programming) and my manager was so worried about what he was gonna say.
The thing is, she doesn't know how to take a break, she never pushes us, but she does push herself and it pains the team to see her take so much heat. She really is a bomb manager, and we want her to be more at ease.
Well a couple of days ago the vips of the board decided to bombard her with shit since out dptmnt head was on sick leave. The stress they put on her was some military grade bs and even then she never...EVER took it out on anyone.
The head of our department walked in to talk to us about it. Dude is a tall older gentleman, suits up every day(Texas style meaning cowboy boots and everything) and is quite imposing. Has a stern look man, one of them 1000 mile stares and a huge mustache that more than surpasses mine(which mind you, my mustache is fucking outstanding)
Our boss walked into the meeting room, sat down and heard what she had to say, she was not excusing herself. As bomb as this gorgeous woman is she was all about telling him what we were going to show the board on next week's meeting.
He sat there quietly listening to her as well as the presentation that me and my boys had to do.
What happened next blew me the fuck out of this world.
He said that he was sorry that so much stress had come down to her and us whilst he was gone and that he was happy with the leadership showcased by her and the initiative that the team took to put forward a presentation for him and the board. He also said that he was going to make said presentation for us since the vips had no business stressing us out, he asked for our assistance for any of the technical stats since even though he was a programmer he is not aware of all the inner details of our apps. He said that it is commendable that such a small team can hold 2 campus(college level) and that he was aware of the technical proficiency of me and the lead and that he knows that our shit is not something that gets done overnight.
He then said that at any given time that we get antagonized by matters such as timeframes or shit like that that we can direct everyone to him, regardless of what.
.He was also really amazed at the progress we showed him on the current projects(most are on their respective testing phases).
He then reiterated on how proud he is of all of us before biding us a good weekend and leaving to his office
As i sat there watching how the world was lifted from my manager and happy that he enjoyed the progress of my work I could not help but feel a deep sense of admiration and respect for this mysterious man.
I would damn skippy take a bullet for him....just in case my draw gets sloppy that is, ain't no one taking aim at the boss.4 -
Just browsing job postings for fun, see a junior developer posting I thought I would read.
Requirment:
Previous experience as a Web Developer (18 months +)
Who would this role suit:
Graduate Web Developer
Yeah fuck off...3 -
Me,: we devs need silence to be able to focus properly, and to develop good quality software.
Marketing guy: we need to hang a frame on the wall.
Other marketing guy: yeah, let's grab the drill and make several holes, fuck those devs.4 -
1) Heck yeah, great idea
2) Sit like 60 minutes there thinking about a name for the project
3) Build the basics
4) ..meh fuck it3 -
Other dev: fuck you, your code can't handle null as input
Me: yeah, because it's kotlin. It's like I added @NotNull, so?...
Other dev: fuck kotlin
Me: fuck you and your nullpointers. Don't pass my precious constructor that crap!3 -
Hey guys and gals, so todayyyyy i feel really good, i just turned a fail into a credit! And that means im in my second last sem!! Fuck yeah! Anyways, since things are going so awesome I thought I’d just do a face reveal, im quite confident in myself so i dont mind :-)
Hope everyone has an amazing week ahead of them!
-Milo ❤️🤓
9 -
So yeah today lappy was supposed to come back from repair. Yeah didn't happen as I'm writing this.
Service told me that laptop has been shipped to the shop last Tuesday. That's week ago and the shop still doesn't fucking have it !
When looking at service status it says it has been shipped indeed. Shop says its still in service. Well I trust the service cause the shop oh well. So I will call to the shop today and make a mess there I guess since 1 week is too long for courier transfer.
So a good reminder from this is: go to service and get it repaired there and fuck the shop since it takes loooooooong time.1 -
I'm migrating data from an old software to a new one I wrote.
Old database it's in Access (yeah, fuck). When I opened one table, the VM hung up and I opened the task manager on MADE
What.The.Fuck.Are.You.Doing?
8 -
-six months ago-
"Yo! Let's learn a web framework and build some sick apps!"
"Fuck yeah!"
-yesterday-
"Yo! Should we start doing that thing we talked about?"
"Fuck yeah!" -
You know those days you have at work where you just want to shout “Fuck it” as loud as you can and just walk out ..... yeah it was that kinda day 😡
-
"I won't use javascript for this webapp where we don't use anything server-side, because I've been using php for everything"
Yeah fuck you12 -
Just been hired as a mid level developer for an IoT company. With considerable benefits and pay increase!
YES!!1 -
FUCK YOU PHP, WHY THE FUCK DO YOU GIVE ME DECEMBER 1ST WHEN I DO
strtotime('-1 month', '12/31/2015)
USING DateTime PRODUCES THE SAME FUCKING RESULT. ARE YOU FUCKING RETARDED OR WHAT?
YEAH I KNOW NOVEMBER DOESN'T HAVE 31ST BUT YOU COULD AT LEAST RETURN 30TH OR EVEN RAISE A WARNING, YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT.10 -
Fucking hell i was wondering why my laptop is sometimes slow.
I mean low FPS in some games etc.
Acer was thinking that putting Single channel 2400Mhz CL22 RAM is a good idea.
FUCK YOU
This ram is a litteral piece of shit !!!!!!
Going to get CL14 RAM in dual channel and 16Gb
Oh yeah.
From what i read this is a huge fucking jump in FPS.
Like 30 fps jump
Im not even wondering about it since CL22 is just complete garbage.8 -
Just got my first internship using Angular 1 today. Oh yeah, I’ve never in my life touched Angular. Fuck (:
4 -
Everyone come and brutally fuck and kill me for today I have sinned.
My SO asked me to buy a durian cake and I did. I am saving myself from taking a cab since the locations are a bit far off. So yeah 😥
I'm that guy on a public commute with a fuck load of smell package. 😭
I wish I can apologize to everyone on bus 😓22 -
Raining outside, the office all to myself. The entire building is empty and here I am jamming to Volbeat while I finish some stuff for monday.
It sounds as If i am complaining, but I am not, i love this me time that I get at the end of every Friday (we leave at 12 but I stay about 3 hours extra to fuck around)
I love this shit. Boss got us pizza yesterday and there is still some left.
And i got some tobacco with me . This is some good shit my dudes. Good shit2 -
DOOM for 7€ ? Ouuu yeah. Downloading and well fuck i run over the 100GB limit ISP set. Then i realized its sunday and limit will reset on monday but i want to play now fuuuuuckkkkkkkk. I really need better ISP cause this shit really sucks. 100GB is nothing for me. Thats 2 android sources with shallow. But i cant switch because of 2 years of license with them. This is fucked up.14
-
You know what, let me jump in on the "I hate PHP" bandwagon.
A couple months ago I upgraded my mail servers unattended. Roundcube got fucked for a couple of months, and I figured.. fuck it, I can still use Dovecot for authenticating with desktop mail clients like K-9.
Recently I unfucked it, turns out that it was an issue with the sock file in php-fpm. That's also when I noticed that PHP apparently hardcodes in its current version in the bloody socket file. Because why the fuck wouldn't you? It makes upgrades so much fucking easier!!! Said no fucking sysadmin ever!!!
And today I upgraded one of my mail servers to Ubuntu Server 18.04, finally, after a lot of hesitation. Bad decision, because now PHP got fucked YET AGAIN.
Again an issue with socket files? I have no fucking idea. systemctl shows no failed services (because you know PHP, why would you fail your service with an error message instead of throwing a meaningless 502 Bad Gateway, right?!!) and looking at the config files, well the socket file got its new php-fpm 7.2 file (still got the fucking version number hardcoded in) and thus I changed that socket file location in /etc/php/7.0...
devRant may just have been my rubber duck.
WHY THE FUCK DO YOU STINKING FUCKING PILE OF SHIT CALLED FUCKING PHP KEEP THE FUCKING 7.0 DIRECTORY OUT THERE WHEN YOU'VE UPGRADED, WITHOUT EVEN HAVING THE FUCKING BALLS TO RENAME THE MOTHERFUCKING DIRECTORY TO 7.2, IF YOU'RE GOING TO HARDCODE IN YOUR VERSION NUMBERS ANYWAY?!!!!!
Bloody fucking pile of fucking junk!!!!18 -
So this dubass left our company but convinced my boss to migrate our new stuff stack to react+firebase...
Already distributing my resume...2 -
So ... We have this century old , "respectable" government postal service that delivers and is the standard postal service on the country...
You buy something online and they send with it... 2 weeks...
You buy something online and they use private service... 1 day...
Yeah, fuck you too.11 -
Just finished setting up PiHole on my RaspberryPi.... no more adblock extensions with shitty performance... no more custom hosts files... and network level adblocking for all devices...
FUCK YEAH
oh, and I added so many lists that it now blocks about 350k domains (ads and malware)
Today was a good day.. time to hibernate...5 -
I just applied for a an programming job for the first time. Yeah i know huge fucking suprise Haxk20 never worked as real programmer just home stuff.
I didnt want to send the resume yet but well i clicked the button and oh well it send it so well fuck it.
I would be kind of OK if they dont even call me but well if they do i will be fucking happy.14 -
Fuck-a-doodle-do Fuck Fuck Fuck what a fucking dipshit. Scared the god damn shit out of me.
So I am deep in code, listening to my music pounding out some code and Drupal configurations and I feel a shadowy draft over my right side like someone is watching me.
I work with a guy that will not for the fucking life of me use Slack to send me a message when I have my headphones on or at all for that matter.
He gets up and walks to my cubicle and just stares with a goofy fucking grin on his face. You know the one. LIke a retarded fucking dog eating shit out of a wire brush. Yeah that's the grin. Silently derping with his fucking derp ass Derp McDerpington face waiting on you to turn around an notice him there instead of knocking on the cubicle wall or waving to get your attention.
The FUCK dude? CreepyPasta
2 -
Just another day at the office:
Boss: you need to leave early today because I am upgrading and reconfiguring the servers.
Me: ok, what happens if you fuck it up?
Boss: we lose all of our work
Me: but it's backed up right?
Boss: yeah, I think so
Me: ...ok, see ya tomorrow
1hr later
Text from boss: oops...6 -
I am making an LDAP user manager and porting application for my workplace.
The thing is, i made the first version of it in PHP already. Shit works fine and it without an issue.
But
I had an itch to redesign it using another tech stack that would be speedier, more tested and using a more established platform.
Enter Clojure, a Lisp dialect for the JVM. In a single day I managed to get 80% of the application done. We have about 80k users inside of our ldap system(maybe more) and I tested it with 150 accounts, so far so good.
If this works I will be the first person to deploy a Clojure application, not only for my organization, but for the city as a whole while simultaneously being able to say that I got a Lisp app deployed and working :D
I am loving this. Really wanna have a Lisp app out there and add it to my resume.
The head of my department, an old timer and really ancient dev smiled heavily when I showed him the codebase. Not only is it minimal, it is concise and elegant :D
I love Clojure
And Texas17 -
!rant
The AH-MAZ-ING feeling you get when you write 200 lines of code without compiling and everything just works as planned!!!
YAY! -
every fucking time I use Javascript.
(yes, I'm no expert, but I can pick up ANY LANGUAGE and do this task in FIVE FUCKING MINUTES, NOT AN HOUR!!! FUCK!)
"Gee, I think this button should probably list the total recipients of the mailing, looks like I have to get the total of a column in an object, no problem, hell, i'll do it frontside just for the fuck of it'
yeah, seemed like a good idea.. AN HOUR AGO
ARRRGGGH
fucking javascript scope can take a flying leap off of a tall building, and then NOT FALL to the fucking ground because it will fucking tell me that OOPS gravity doesn't exist for javascript!
UNCAUGHT REFERENCE ERROR
right?
FUCK YOU
die from gravity like you deserve motherfucker16 -
So like... did every social media app meet up and go
"yo!
Ordering notifications and timelines chronologically in a way that makes sense?
Yeah mate, fuck it!"?2 -
So my time saver automation can not be used because automation is not reliable.
Yeah sure make me extract data manually from 800 urls by hand and see if there is no human error.
Fuck my life.5 -
WooHoo, lets miss this deadline, fuck yeah!!!
Has 20 tasks last week monday, had 50 Wednesday and 51 Friday, as of today we have finished 1.5 and deadline is in 6 day, and shit is STILL changing. Fuck YEAH!!! -
Ouuuuuu fuck yeah.
Its time for latest fucking gnome.
Boy it feels smooth now.
Still not there fully yet but its getting there.
16 -
BAT0 (Charging - 100% remaining time 00:00:00), health 100.0%: 8.318V 0.592A 4.92426W
Fuck yeah!! No more "Charging - 186%", no more "health 54%". I feel alive again!!!!2 -
Microsoft pls fix.
My company chose to use Microsoft Teams and uses various linux desktops.
Let's try Microsoft Teams.
A desktop app? Hell yeah. Let's try it.
Oh wait...
Microsoft delivers a Windows executable for linux users... Fuck
7 -
Fuck this piece of shit that calls itself a Macbook Pro. Bought myself a Mac in 2011 because I wanted something durable. Spent 2k € on it. Now its more annoying thany any Windows machine I ever had because I have this fucking GPU glitch that Keeps. Crashing. My. Machine. I cant work that way.
Yeah, already had it repaired. Didn't work. Use gfxCardStatus to keep it on integrated. Doesnt work. Well, I coud just buy a new one, couldn't I? Fuck Apple, fuck you.6 -
We got degrees celcius below 0, even a bit of snow laying around and the train is NOT half an hour late.
Can this be?
Is this the real world?
Normally they go "oh, could be snowing today, let's fuck that shit up"
I would say, today there is even a small chance that I get where I want to go SOMEWHAT IN TIME, yeah!😅7 -
Yeah these fucking assholes lost a 300 pound gaming chair at my local depot for 3 weeks where I eventually got a refund from Amazon. I ordered a USB desk fan for the heat off ebay, yeah these fucking cunts delivered it to my workplace at 9pm.
Guess who is building my companies new ecommerce platform, where I am currently integrating the shipping options. Fuck off Yodel.7 -
(most of the) Medium authors all suck fucking dick. Those fuckers are the reason the internet needs an IQ lock.
Stats about React vs Angular vs Vue.
Yeah of course let's compare search count of React vs Vue vs Angular but Vue must be searched with ".js" appended. NOT A SINGLE FUCK ADDS .JS WHEN SEARCHING FOR VUE.
Left: stats from article
Right: stats, if you use google trends correctly
7 -
So it seems rc builds arent bleeding edge enough. Well how about linux-next now ?
Ouuuuuuu yeah. 4.20 is kind of broken for me and i hope that 5.0 will fix it.
Using linux for over 5 years now and i didnt even know what linux-next is and it was unknown to me . Sure i heard about it but now im doing with it something. Exciting as fuck. All the totally latest fucking stuff.2 -
15 minutes delayed because whatever...
+30 minutes waiting for the next train, because my train stopped early because there was no AC and it were 38 degrees Celsius
+30 minutes, train I was changed to was delayed
Train I was changed to only had snacks to offer because they haven’t got water
+60 minutes on this train because, well why not
„We wish you had a pleasant journey“: notification pops while I’m still 2 hours in...
Yeah fuck off...1 -
Last night: Wow, I just finished that massive feature and I still get some time left! Why not play something?!
Oh crap, this game is so cool but my video card drivers needs an update (AMD Radeon on a Fedora system).
The proprietary drivers don't run on this version of Xorg server... Fine, let's search for some solutions online and... Hey! Found it! Let's see: downgrade Xorg, download the driver, patch it for your kernel version...
Did I just fucked my display? Oh yeah... Let's try to fix it........
Fuck...
5am: Finally got it all working perfectly again... Fuck this game, I hate it!3 -
A few months ago I got recommended a Flutter and Dart course on Udemy, thought yeah fuck it lets get it, fast forward to 5 minutes ago...
"Ok I'm bored, feel like coding and doing something different, lets do some of this course..."
*Opens udemy, clicks on course*
"Hm, must have changed the thumbnail..."
*Clicks first lecture and is greeted with "Hello friends!"*
Yep, got the wrong fucking course didn't I ;-;
Here hoping Udemy may offer a refund seeing as I hadn't started the course till now... Fuck1 -
Lab needs a crawler to download some assets, none of my business though
But why not
Haven't touched crawler for two years
Google for latest state of art
Found scrapy
I have to define a class for a crawling script?
Got scared
Went back to beautifulsoup and request
Got the job done in 20 mins
Fuck yeah6 -
!dev
Saturday... Weekend... Let me get back my sleep from weekdays...
Zzz..zzzz...**phone call**
Yeah, phone woke me, didnt even read who called. Oh, great. My bosss needs quick help and will come nearby my home in an hour.
Yaaaaay... Fuck.11 -
Ugggg!
I am about fed up with Windows.
I leave app/programs open at night because I have a bad memory, and they were important to what I was doing.
I wake up: Windows Login Screen. Apparentally windows decided to restart my computer during the night.
Ohh what joy.~
Now I have to rememeber what the fuck I had open - and it was mostly work related.
I would have left for Linux ages ago, but I'm a gamer.. And most of my games are for windows.. Some are even Windows Store Apps..
Windows.. Why don't you give a shit about us..
And before you ask..
I have Auto Updates Disabled (Not that that really fucking matters with windows..)
I have all sleep and power saver settings disabled.14 -
I finished a bunch of coursework yesterday and turned them in so that I could have some time to work on my side projects or self study for a few days before focusing on class again.
Today was gonna be my first day to enjoy this.
I recieve an email with the second batch of coursework thats due in a week. 7 quizzes, two exams, and 7 project labs.
Yeah, fuck you, too.2 -
fuck..fuck..FUCK..FUCK YOU MANTIS!!!
fuck you and your fucking invalid security token... fucking cunt...
yeah i love extracting my notes from POST data via the browser dev console cause you fucking delete it when hitting the back button...
THANKS FOR NOTHING -
Yeah so my computer is fucked again. Spent 7.5 hours last night and almost 3 hours today trying to 'save time' reinstalling Antergos. Grub specifically, as everything I have tried hasn't fixed the black screen / immediate reboot I get when trying to start up. Fuck4
-
qa: so yesterday we found some bug, not really related to you but <boss> told me to put it on you
me: yeah, when he doesn't, this dick didn't work since I came
*later this day at ~15:00*
boss: so I'm going home, you **must** deal with this bug today, your algo doesn't work.
me: it did 2 days ago didn't it? did you even check the bug?
boss: yeah
me: did you check for regression or just said to put it on me?
boss: nope
me: did you check the changes of the new guy?
boss: nope
me : so why the fuck blame my code?!
*17:10 I'm going home no regression, new guys code deadlocks, not a single fuck thrown* -
me after watching snowden(2016) yesterday : "Holy shit, government is going to fuck our privacy!!"
me after watching the circle today: "Holy shit big private companies are going to fuck our privacy!!"
My office senior watching me "Holy yeah boss is going to fuck your privacy"6 -
Everybody: migrating to gitlab.
Meantime me: Setting up my own local git server.
And using github until its fucked up. But also preparing gitlab just to be on the safe side4 -
me: fuck yeah i love java
java: JFormattedTextField tf = ((JSpinner.DefaultEditor) columns.getEditor).getTextField();
me: ...
me: punish me more mommy3 -
*lunch break at work*
okay, let's play some dota...
*playing dota*
see crush eating, talking, flirting and having fun w/ someone... aaah shit heee weee go again 🤪 or not, whatever, I don't care, yeah, she's not my gf, I'm fine, everything is fine...
*a few minutes later*
client: hey, need this change right now
me: ok 👌
*keyboard sound*
ok, done, let's create a PR
*PR created*
me to myself: yeah, told ya
*PR merged*
me to myself again (I'm a sane person don't worry 😈): that was some badass code you wrote. see? I don't care about crush
*a few minutes later*
client: why the fuck did you ask to merge into master? (I created 33 PRs before and all were merged into the correct branch so they didn't check anymore)
me: *looking at crush 🙄*1 -
I fucking told them that yes, i can do frontend but im in no way expert, so dont expect much.
"Yeah, cool, use angular"
I was full of questions and tried to reason with them that angular is literally just an unnecessary load and would slow the development down (its a really simple site).
"No, use angular"
Ok fine whatever. So i built the site, it was ugly as fuck, half the functionality was hacked in with jquery because i have no idea how these fucked up frameworks work (or apparently dont work) when i realized that i get jackshit from the backend.
Turns out most of the json responses were totally disregarding the json standard, like {1: tag0},{2: tag1}, where a json arrat should have been used. The other half was xml. Yeah. Also of course they used spring so the backend took like 3 months where it could have been done in like 2 weeks.4 -
Trying to install Fedora to use some Linux stuff
- have to try booting up 3 times to boot into the live env successfully
- keyboard doesn't work, try booting up again
- installer crashes
Yeah fuck this back to Windows it is.13 -
Finally managed to fix my paypal (fuck yeah!)... After six months, I must add.
Now I'm wondering, why did it give in and stopped asking me for phone verification? 🤔
Now let's wait a good 2 months to make sure the 1 Euro earrings, which were my first purchase, are gonna get here safe! 😃😃2 -
Hmmmm. Android emulator supports full treble. Amazing. Now i can test treble builds without flashing on phone.
Ahhhh fuck it. Everybody knows im gonna test it on real phone anyway. since emulators always say yeah GPU is working. Flashed on real phone and MALI: Failed to intialize GPU. Ohhhhh fuck youuuuuuuuuu. -
Fuck yeah!
Had my first job interview ever today!
Not gonna say it was very good but it definitely wasn't the worst!
Let's see if I get a happy reply!2 -
How to fuck a web developer:
1- Introduce a shiny new shitty web component that is nearly impossible to figure out how to change it’s fucking background color, yeah.
Welcome everyone to 2019 why even it was so easy to change and customize your own shit, let’s just introduce thaaa faaacking web components and fuck everyone else. Let everyone learn again how to do the simplest shit ever.
Yes fuck everyone that is used to change and customize in an easy way.
“yUo wAnT uS nOt tO UsE SoC anD cLEan koOde?”
No no no. We will fuck you instead.2 -
I spent about 45 mins this morning going through memes and gaming videos till my workstation finished doing updates.
On one side: fuck updates, what in the holy fuck.
On the other side: fuck yeah, down time to do bs.
I ain't even gonna bitch about Microsoft. It is what it is. Legit no complaints.
Just wish the process was maybe a lil bit similar to Debian updates maybe. Just maybe.11 -
Ok...
FUCK ASUS
...
FUCK THEM...
PREBUILD PC? YEAH... BROKE AFTER A FUCKING YEAR... AN ASSFUCKED YEAR! HOW COULD SOMEONE BUILD SUCH A SHIT OF A MACHINE...
Oh well... saved the grafics card, HDD and SSD... time to get new Parts and build a custom one myself...
FUCK YEAH!
Warranty you say? No i tell you...11 -
Okay I lied, I'm having a bunch of bottles of Guiness now.
Finally the sweet release from the pain 😋 -
Sometimes we woulg get a request which involves adding something or changing something to a rather large and poorly made codebase which me and my lead have not had the time to change.
This b how shit goes:
* the lead gets a call after an email was sent with apparently only 5 secs of response time( inpatient fucks)
* lead calls me in next to his station to listen to the call
* i b listening and shit, not even taking notes and shit, looking all secret weapon and shit.
Texas as fuck.
* lead puts shit on hold and looks at me
Lead: "Allright. You know the codebase as well as I do, what you think?"
Me: pffft gimme 30 mins and Ill whip out yo solution
Lead: we positive on the estimate?
Me: as positive as the Texas Rangers sucking ass but we still love em, fuck the Astros
Lead: there is only room for one team
Me: only one
**fist bump
* goes back to the call:
Lead: yeah its gonna take 2 days at most.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand we do finish them in 30 mins. The trick is in doing it extra fast so we have enough time to fuck around or do some other shit and to make it seem like we do some hard shit. After maybe 6 hours we tell them that we managed to fix it before time.
Texas....as....fuck
Btw me and the lead tall about whatever while we code the stuff, most of the time I do it since my boy has heavy eye problems and I want him to relax. He has been training me a lot in regards to knowing the codebase, before I got here it was only him for two fucking campuses and the man did an outstanding job. My boy got my ass and I got his.
Teamwork, the southern gentleman's way.
Texas.
P.d while coding it he said the one of the file sizes was too big to handle, i said "das what she said" and our female manager said "i heard that".......i could have sworn that she gave me a lil wink. Well damn.8 -
These slides are going to be available to you after the presentation...
Yeah... right ..... fuck you2 -
FUCK YEAH! FUCKING HELL FUCK YEAH! IT FUCKING WORKED! THE FUCKING CODE FINALLY COMPILED PROPERLY!
What happened:
I was trying to use the Adafruit Feather HUZZA esp8266 with the AdafruitHTTPClient Library... and it didnt work... then I downgraded THE FUCKING FIRMWARE FROM 2.5.0 TO 2.4.2 AND THE BLOODY THING COMPILED!4 -
Whoever created the Angela Merkel Altcoin, YOU ARE MY FUCKING HERO! YOURE JUST SUCH AN AWESOME DEV!5
-
Week 3:
Lead developer has not noticed his Favio Lanzoni and My Little Pony wallpapers.
Git gus scrub1 -
Development of Mesa 19.0 started few minutes ago and branch for 18.3 was created.
OK some EGL stuff few meson commits and oh fuck Wayland is broken. Xorg still works so its OK.
But yeah i possibly know which commit made it and its probably due to missing few commits hat are still beign reviewed. -
Boss: "Drop everything and help us test this application, right now!"
Me: "The environment isn't even configured properly.."
Boss: "yeah, we'll get to it"
Fuck you, Monday.1 -
Error reporting was flooded with failed database connection connections with me being baffled what was causing it.
Yeah, fucking network operator didn't tell us anything about maintenance work. Fuck you, too. -
!rant; story(well, kinda)
I made it! Hell fucking fuck yeah! I made it, I made it, I made it! I passed all exams! See you in Prague, at ČVUT!(those who happen to study/live there or nearby)
life.setStatus("Winning!");3 -
Went out, got hammered, came home and decided in my infinite wisdom that I'd stuff my face with cold pizza (fuck yeah left over pizza) and get some code written before bed.
The code was great, worked absolutely fine, but the commit messages were completely ineligible. Decided to quickly reword those the next morn-... Afternoon. -
Real story:
Started fixing one file in one repo, build, doesn't build, go into other repo fix just one file there, but first I need to make myself a toolchain, making of toolchain fails because it depends on some dirty fix in the file I was fixing, refactor and clean that to a proper state, fuck yeah toolchain builds, source toolchain run make now, breaks with undefined reference, no time to debug plus fuck this automake, remove it, make a makefile, builds fuck yeah, shit now unittest are failing because why not, refactored that makefile as well, everything compiles, automate the test fully so that they are ran on the target out of make just because I'm a nice guy, fuck yeah everything works, commit this repo, commit other repo, review time, one of the guys gave up, the other one did it properly, found some shit there, fix that, done, merge, triggers CI fucking pass
All of this was done in 3h, Talk about efficiency -
me: [fiddling with ideas for practicing HTML forms]
college: you wanna practice development, huh?
me: ...yeah?
college: fuck you. i have shit for you to look at which overrides what you want to do. LOOK AT ME!1 -
Hell yeah !!!
They leave shitty code unfinished module for me to get done!
I better write from zero for the entire module!
Fuck off!!!1 -
Fuck that piece of shit typescript!!!
Ever since I picked it up I have more problems with it, than it actually solves...
1. So you want to use that 3rd party library? No problem, just use typescript special import syntax.
- yeah, I do, it doesn’t work that way, but works with es6 import even if you fucking show me that damn error.
2. Want to use map? No problem, we have an interface for it and you treat it as an object.
- oh yeah? And how about fucking more user friendly approach: {key: value}? Why the fuck do I need to create a fucking instance and then use a fucking set method for each value?
3. Want to access value from native dom element? Sorry, but you need to define type yourself.
- fuck you7 -
Hey, uh, fuck reviving legacy projects. Intern here looking at the shit I have to do and pretty much everything's deprecated by now so yeah fuck that I guess.5
-
When you have to work with functions clearly no one gives a fuck about... because who needs documentation... like... 2 decades later!? Oh yeah sure it might change tomorrow...
2 -
https://docs.microsoft.com/en-us/...
Cause who the fuck wouldn't expect a TriState to have FIVE goddamn values of which only TWO are supported.
Yeah, makes perfect sense.1 -
The moment when your code is like,
Yeah I'm working, not throwing errors, but not doing anything closely related to the things I should do.
Fuck this construct, I'll recode the whole thing and stop using any two-year old legacy code, for this project -
Outlook protection is shit!
Microsoft is blocking our company mail server AND even my private one for a couple of days now for no reason.
Every other mailing black list has nothing to complain but Microsoft: "You want to send a very important mail to your customer? Nope!"
And
"Yeah, now you tried to use your private server to fool me. Haha, nope! You didn't think I would block IPs randomly, did you?"
Fuck Microsoft! Fuck Outlook protection! Fuck hotmail!1 -
I am working on a SPA which also should work offline. So I add service worker, works perfect on chrome, then I take iphone and try it offline on safari, ofc it doest work. For fucking 3 hours looking where’s the issue, every article I read says its supported on safari, then I find out that its only in beta version. Yeah fuck you apple...
-
Communicated 50% more time than I actually estimate for a new feature because the management usually thinks it can be done faster than estimated.
Actually got that 150% approved so I have enough time to write some bad ass beautiful code with unit tests and documentation 😳
Seems like good things actually happen..1 -
Why haven't I learned about js fetch before now. I've even used socket.io!
Fetch is amazing and I just built a function for using fetch with WordPress AJAX hooks. Yes I know it's WordPress and there's jQuery but all of my custom plugins use vanilla js as a little fuck you.
Oh yeah but ie doesn't support it at all2 -
7th approved pull request in a few months as an intern :) I'm not sure if that's actually good but it feels good so fuck yeah
-
That SATISFACTION u get after finally fixing a bug which has been irritating the shit outta u for 2 fucking hours!! Just had to figure out a correct timeline for my stupid android chain animations so that the views do not screw up each other's animations!
-
Soo.. what do you do as a software developer, rank senior, when you turn 35 and programming kinda becomes repetitive. Data source this, controller that, factory f-yeah. Well, you sign up for math studies. And then you realize you forgot everything down to multiplication tables... fuck3
-
**18 fuckin hours with full concentration on this Friday starting from 9:30 AM**
I'd developed a big feature for this release and it was being tested by QA guys.
There was this fuckin QA who raised a bug on Friday morning saying that one of the work flow is not working as expected. I debugged it in various scenarios including the one suggested by that dick head but I couldn't reproduce it.
On stating that, QA got pissed and told me that I've not developed it correctly. *Yeah fuck head now you are telling me*
My lead asked me to make some changes in the flow and then check. Did that but no luck.
Finally at 3AM on Saturday, this fuckin nut job QA mails me saying that he was giving in WRONG Inputs 😡
Yeah. It was that bad! -
Spent the last few days trying to solve a weird issue with our CI/CD pipeline for a project. Yesterday i finally gave up and told my coworker that i need a fresh set of eyes to look at this.
I leave for lunch, an hour later I'm back and brought fire and fury to the mix.. Then, 2 hours later i raised my hands and my mouth uttered the glorious words of victory: Fuck yeah, it works.
Mood was still shit though... 1 bug down, 99 life problems remain 😢 -
Just because I didn't get the logic of your labyrinth testing script doesn't mean I'm a bad programmer! Why the fuck do you choose which programmers to get with a Shit labyrinth JS script. I got all the programming right and now I probably won't get the job because of this.
Oh yeah and I did apply for a php job btw. -
I FIGURED IT OUT! PAYPAL EXPRESS CHECKOUT NOW RESIDES UNDER BY REIGN. HAIL ME I'M A FUCKING GENIUS FUCK YE I LOVE PAYPAL HELL THE FUCK YEAH! fuck carrots though
-
For a moment, hold your php-hate in..
..FOR FUCKS SAKE they turned off warnings and errors on the server for customer applications. What the fuck. I mirrored one of those to fiddle around at home to find all generated files stuffed with "warning: we have no idea what we are doing at every line".
FML.
And yeah, the solution for my end is kind of simple, turn them off, too, but how about coding it the right way?:I -
new Promise(function (resolve, reject) {
self.getPaid(function (err, money) {
if(err) {
reject(err);
console.log("fml");
} else {
resolve(money);
console.log("fuck yeah!") ;
});
})
.then(resolve)
.catch(reject); -
The only thing I coded while drunk was a girls name and her phone number,
I write "leyla" and it then turned out her name was actually "irem"
Yeah I'm not going to open the pandoras box with drunk commits when I can fuck up a name 😐3 -
Fuck this fucking shit...
Be me, plan a trip to a festival with friends, vacation approved, get up at 3am to drive 9 hours from Germany to Italy, find a nice spot for our tent and yeah...
I was unloading stuff of my car and standing in range of the tailgate and get the shit smashed onto my head...
Yeah I'm a volunteer firefighter, so good at paramedics, so I applied a pressure bandage myself, because shit was bleeding all out of my head...
Then I got a ride with the ambulance to the hospital and now about a hour in the waiting room...
Please cross your fingers, that the X-ray that I'm waiting for shows no damages and that i can continue my festival...
What a happy first festival day...5 -
!dev && !rant
Anyone here from San Antonio Tx? I am in town for 2 days. It would be nice if we can meet up(if I get the time that is)
Little family vacation, lil leisure time.3 -
Currently writing a long-ass new issue to the Docker/CLI repository, to tell them that their online documentation for the manifests is absolute garbage. I mean, a documentation is supposed to tell you how to run commands, not something like "Yeah you try it and maybe it'll work. No it's not the good format, you dumb fuck. Nice, bro, but if you check what changed... That's right, nothing changed. At all. For no reason. Keep trying, it's fun!"
-
"uhhh, whenever I want to install something on windows, it works unlike x"
MAN GO FUCK YOURSELF.
WINDOWS STOPS WORKING RANDOMLY. SOME APPLICATIONS ARE JUST PEW GONE.
YESTERDAY, I COULD PLAY LOL. TODAY, I NEED TO SPEND HOURS TRYING TO FIX IT.
"JUST REINSTALL"
YOU STUPID SACK OF SHIT, DO YOU KNOW HOW OFTEN I REINSTALLED WINDOWS?
DOTA IS BETTER
yeah, maybe. 2hard for me tho3 -
Fuck yeah ... I have uploaded my major computation file to S3 and create Lambdas from those files(includes numpy and pandas also) and now I have only routes and invoke strategies in my EC3 .. looking for cost reduction....
-
For web devs here, do we really still need to support browsers of the evil (yeah I'm talking about MS browsers, Edge included) ?
I mean, building a css ui library here in 2017, without the benefits of custom properties, grid and so many other cool things, is so fucking frustrating.
A practical example : color theming with custom properties = Fuck Yeah / color theming without custom properties = so verbose and painfull, sucks.
The library is mostly for private usage at the moment so... I'm about to drop IE and Edge in the deepest shithole of the darkest cavern of my memory, and move on coding my lib with modern CSS, with almost no regret for the ghosts of the past who are still using these shitware today.
Should I ? Or should I... maintain compatibility as we traditionnally do ?
What's you guys opinion about this ? Can we finally kickban these browsers from our lives ?3 -
Status meetings. Jesus, some people don’t understand the concept of “take your discussion offline”
Yeah, we get it. You have questions... we are not all wasting our time to fix your issues in one meeting.
“Take it the fuck offline” -
Yeah, I have some friends, but none of them appreciates Yeoman like I do.
Fuck, they don't even know what it is. 😡😡😡1 -
Fuck yeah!!! Finally found Mate! 😎
Well, not exactly dev related... Meh, whoami kidding, coding without Mate is nigh impossible 😁
5 -
!Rant
Guys guys guys!!!!!!! And girls!!!
Not only did I recently obtain 2 certifications the past two or three weeks, but a company called me back to see if I was still interested in an internship that I applied for a month ago!! I sent her an updated resume and she's sending it to the IS (information systems) guy (only one for the branch in my city) and if he likes what he'll see they'll call me back 😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄.
I'm so stoked because I started this bullshit job at Dave and Buster's and it's not even really technical. I started like two weeks ago but I don't give a fuck, if I can find a better opportunity elsewhere, I'm taking it. Even if it's an internship.
Only thing is, if they want me to start as soon as possible then I'll want to, but wouldn't it be best to do a two week notice for D&D?2 -
Ryan Dahl working on Deno is one of the current interesting projects that I have been following.
Initially, the dude was trying to use Golang and is currently migrating to cpp and rust since Golang is a gc language. Nothing wrong with that really. I am just excited to see what this man comes up, and Typescript as the main language? Fuck yeah.
This shit js gonna be bomb af. Happy to see him talk to openly about his flaws when building Node, which was still a massive success and a true game changer for a lot of people(me included) and I believe that Deno will repeat this. It already has 24k stars on Github and tracking the repo has become very interesting! I just wish i had the cpp/rust knowledge needed to help out with it.3 -
*me writing my sweet code like nothing bad could happend*
Xcode: bum! Compiling error
Me: what the...
*compile again
Xcode: yeah right. Bam! Error
*clean, etc. compile again
Xcode: yeah, try your luck looser
Me: ok, let's google it. First stack overflow answer: just change the simulator and should work correctly.
And of course it worked. And that's how it works all day.
Fuck you Xcode! Fuck you Apple!
-
My co-worker X and I worked late nights for a project every single day including weekends, and our fucking senior manager invites X to his party and not me. Seriously.. does he even know I'm in the same fucking team?.
I mean yeah X did a great job working hard and shit.. but so did I.
I really hate my manager.
Fuck Him..6 -
Why the *fuck* does everyone think every single paragraph should be centered? Yeah, sure, components, icons, things that are presentation, sure most of the time you want that centered. But not *every* time. And, especially, never when the content is body copy text. That shit is hard to read, dammit! And yet I swear every single non-technical person and marketer I've known wants everything to be centered.
WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY -
public Geopoint(double latitude, double longitude)
{
Latitude = latitude;
Longitude = Longitude;
}
Me: "why is the longitude always 0"
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
Good job that didn't make it onto Nuget... oh, wait, yeah it did.6 -
I just fucking rage quit SSMS...
Was trying to call a long named stored procedure and started typing the name when suddenly, autocomplete pops up with the name of the procedure.
I'm like hell yeah, I press tab to complete it, it appends the name to what I already wrote...
I delete it, start writing again, pops up again, I press down to select it and press enter, it appends it again.
*Ragequit*
Who the fuck QA'd that?1 -
So yeah I just had Ubuntu show me two errors directly after startup, then claiming that there is a programming error in aptdaemon and then IntelliJ crashing because of a read-only FS.
After rebooting my VM im faced with a BusyBox prompt saying my disk is corrupted. Fuck VMWare. This is not the first time the disk in my VM got corrupted. -
Okay, I'm learning XSD (I wish i didn't, but yeah)
Why the fuck does it require so much code to use the simplest regex?
<xsd:simpleType>
<xsd:restriction base="xsd:integer">
<xsd:pattern value="([0-9])*" />
</xsd:restriction>
</xsd:simpleType>1 -
Oh yeah Google why don't you just change the parameter order of functions, remove entire functions between minor versions, and not put a single example on your API docs? And force devs to add 30 lines of boilerplate and start an http server so I can run the debugger? Fuck tensor flow, I'm moving to pytorch.2
-
Fuck yeah !
I have a challenge for once I can't wait 😎
I'm going deeper into the numbers then I ever have before 😎
I do need to calm down I'm visibly shaking ... I did have to much caffeine -
I had a pretty good day.
I had my first pay raise as a dev;) not huge but i wasnt expecting one for another 4months ;)
And i was working on a security scrip for after effect plugins. The thing is called Extendscript and is built on top of ecma3. Yeah javascript version from 1999. Hashing stuff gave me different results. Took me about a week to realise that the string buffer were different and i had to parse in latin something to have the same matching buffers. What a hassle man. Let alone trying to make it work with Windows terminal which after starting with Linux then mac， windows seems sooo sucky.
But yeah its my first security scripts so 2 main achievements for me today! Ive waited 4 years to reach a level where i now feel like a real professional dev. ;) sry not a rant ;) -
Fellow social skeptics, I need to vent. Flew back into RI for the family, not the various holidays. Fuck christmas. Fuck the societal norm that's been programmed into me and all of us. "Merry Christmas", "Happy holidays".
Yeah that doesn't play so well for my family after your brother dies the night of the 24th.
Even my best friends slip up with it, and even I'm regurgitating the phrases when I'm in public and need to be socially fucking acceptable. It's fascinating to me just how muscle-memory it is. Does that make it hollow in the first place? Is the well wishing the point and the sounds and message secondary?
Whatever it is, I've never felt comfortable in these social situations anyway. If I didn't have to travel to see my family, this would just be another day. So here's a big fuck-that to social obligations and gatherings. I just need a good intellectual conversation or a project to dive into. -
Just spend two fucking days debugging a few methods in our program. I used unit tests to call those methods (don't want to navigate through the complete program workflow)...
Yeah, guess what: the test cleanup includes a fucking rollback transaction function. So NONE NADA ZERO FUCKING CHANGES WILL BE PERSISTED. Fuck me3 -
Today it's finally snowing again in my city, for the first time after years. Fuck yeah!
As I'm waiting for the bus, a car splashes my legs with freezing cold, dirty water. Dammit. Then a second car splashes me the same way. Fucking dammit. Then as the bus arrives, I close my umbrella and that little shit breaks. Motherfucking Dammit.3 -
A friend of mine offered me a Job as a Senior Software engineer in Damascus "on the peace site" Whhhhaaatt the fuck.
Yeah no Thanks... Maybe next time. -
Fuck that useless sparkpost service... On July 23rd they dropped support for TLS 1.0, well we use TLS 1.2 so no problem. Turns out there is a fucking problem, because we can’t send any tls encrypted email anymore. And now angry client is asking to restore all lost emails...
Well, for now we moved to sendgrid, it works well, so yeah, fuck you sparkpost, I hope you lost much more clients because of this.1 -
But yeah.... IPMI is fancy.
IF PEOPLE USED IT PROPERLY
FUCK IBM
More like... FUCK <COMPANY>
USING 10 YEAR OLD SERVERS
HOW THE FUCK DO WE SUPPORT THIS
SWITCHES ARE OUT OF DATE BY AGES
WE NEED TO UPDATE EVERYTHING
Software at least anyway.3 -
Left everything & had a good sleep after a exhausting day will makes think to a problem with different approach.
FUCK YEAH ! SLEEP !1 -
Yeah, I chickened out a little bit when someone had asked me about my project. Yeah, you covered a little bit for me and I'm thankful for that.
But for heaven's sake you broken vinyl disc I don't have to listen to your accusations for a whole day. Your hypocritical behavior put me in that stressful situation in the very first place.
There's a perfectly fine reason why the teacher occasionally tells you to simply shut the fuck up and I guess you already know that.
Nobody. Wants. To. Fucking. Hear. It.
And I sure as hell hope I won't ever have to -
!rant
Debugged the shit of a customer issue.
I feel great, it has been a while since I had fun/frustration with code. -
Fuck you sophos. Fuck you hard. I moved a server to a new datacenter and it worked like a charm. Thank you windows and hyper-v. BUT! BUUUUUUT my fucking sophos worked like shit. Blocking everything by default? Yeah fuck you. Reconfigured everything. Still blocked and why? Forward “all“ doesnt mean forward all. Had to apply rules from port tcp 1 - 65335 and udp 1-65335. Nice you piece of fuck.2
-
My school:
Oh yeah starting 5th year of CS!
"You have to take this year 1 course"
"WHY?!"
"Because fuck you, that's why!"
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