What's that name of that classic fairytale about that boy that struggles with build automation?

...

Hansel and Gradle

Only one kind of professional should operate on production environments: surgeons.

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First meeting of new project. My management partner:

"First of all, we sell it"

🙄

Don't mind me, just writing maintainable, legible, commented and documented code. What's that, an email validation? Let me just
/^(([^<>()\[\]\.,;:\s@\"]+(\.[^<>()\[\]\.,;:\s@\"]+)*)|(\".+\"))@(([^<>()[\]\.,;:\s@\"]+\.)+[^<>()[\]\.,;:\s@\"]{2,})$/i

Thank you for being honest 😧

Guess which diagram was drawn by me and which by my business partner :)

Kiss for fucks sake! What the fuck of an ORM is Sequelize? How the fuck do I have to write a 50 line query json to get a query for a single object going, which doesn't work then because that shit peace of software has a bug that breaks findOne and forces you to use findAll and use the first and only hit?!

Well yes, I looked in your garbage SEO docs for that issue, but whenever I look for something specific I just end up on your optimized as hell querying for noobs doc page. FUCK YOU!

Seriously, you guys working with Sequelize saved me many hours. But fuck your fuckups! And ajfjekidjjskrhbdkaowbdjdkwobdnfie

Down with Helvetica code blocks in devRant!

When you write something inside `these quotes` in Telegram, it gets rendered in a monospace font.

When I had to implement fibunacci recursively at university, wrote an iterative algorithm instead and impressed everyone with my insane performance.

Well, a customer is flying in tomorrow from 350km away because of a Bug in my system. Whoops

Just wanted to say cheers to all those coders among you who make sure their login is encrypted, their passwords are hashed and salted, their codes are tested and their forms are code injection safe.

No client will understand what you did, so take my props for it! After all, its our responsibility to make sure software is secure. That's all :)

The biggest lesson I learned in Frontend Dev is: listen to users, not clients.

There are so many rants about stupid ass clients on here, and when you let clients treat you like that, it's kind of your own fault. Look at how people use your interfaces and you will immediately see what's bullshit about them. When you have user behavior as an argument basis, clients will listen to you.

Guess who's fixing their parents neighbours iPad tomorrow 😒

Chrome with Dev Tools, IDE, Database, Server logs, terminal - what windows do you guys keep open at all times?

When you're at the end of a sprint, implemented a cool new feature and only the garbage issues are left over -.-

Business idea: panties with HTTP status codes printed on them.

451 for our underaged customers - unavailable for legal reasons

411 to crush a man's self esteem - Length required

429 for girls with stalkers - too many requests

402 for our professional customers - payment required

And, of course, 202 - Accepted

What genius had the idea of adding Chromecast support to pornhub? 📺

"Hey, let's make sure horny teenagers can easily or by accident present their interests on the Chromecast enabled family TV!"

And I didn't find my emails for days...

Just watched episode 3-6 of silicon valley, where Richard loses his girl over tabs vs spaces. Made me kind of mad.

How the fuck is tabs vs spaces still a struggle? Unless you're using fucking Notepad++ to code, your IDE will FUCKIN REPLACE TABS WITH SPACES! IF YOU INDENT WITH SOMETIMES THREE, SOMETIMES FOUR SPACES, THEN BURN IN HELL! JUST USE YOUR IDE WITH YOUR TAB KEY AND END THE WAR!