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I was explaining git and Github to one of my friends during our boring maths class when he asked : "What is the difference between git and Github?". Just then another friend of mine sitting in front turns out and said : "It's like the difference between porn and Pornhub".14
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I know porn is disapproved of on devRant...
And I don't care if this gets me banned but..
Look at that sexy ass thing 😍
105 -
What a stupid configuration of firewall at my work:
devrant -> blocked because of entertainment category.
xvideos -> no problem at all.
Conclusion: sysadmin likes watching porn.15 -
Ranted about that porn work prank.
Forgot a joke the senior linux engineer pulled with me.
I came back from the toilet and sat down. Logged in. Cursor was on the left screen. Looked away and then back. Cursor was on the right screen.
*wait what? hmm must be my memory.*
*looks away and turns back*
*wait did that cursor just move.....?*
*damn what's up with me...?!?*
*turns around and looks back VERY quickly*
*cursor moves all over the screen*
*looks at front usb inputs*
*notices a wireless receiver*
*laughing from the corner where the senior linux engineer is sitting*
MOTHERFUCKER.26 -
A super creepy webcrawler I built with a friend in Haskell. It uses social media, various reverse image searches from images and strategically picked video/gif frames, image EXIF data, user names, location data, etc to cross reference everything there is to know about someone. It builds weighted graphs in a database over time, trying to verify information through multiple pathways — although most searches are completed in seconds.
I originally built it for two reasons: Manager walks into the office for a meeting, and during the meeting I could ask him how his ski holiday with his wife and kids was, or casually mention how much I would like to learn his favorite hobby.
The other reason was porn of course.
I put further development in the freezer because it's already too creepy. I'd run it on some porn gif, and after a long search it had built a graph pointing to a residence in rural Russia with pictures of a local volleyball club.
To imagine that intelligence agencies probably have much better gathering tools is so insane to think about.58 -
So I learned something today. Always disable guest sessions in your Linux machine in a work environment.
Walked away from my pc to talk to a fellow Linux engineer.
Came back to a screen with pornhub and porn playing.
"wait how the hell? I locked my pc...?!?"
"ever heard of guest sessions mate? 😆"
😓
*silently disables guest sessions*
Well okay learned that one the hard way 😅31 -
Browsing to a porn site while still being in the corporate VPN.
Got a proxy page which said this type of content isn't allowed at work. Nearly had a heart attack ;D15 -
This happened at my previous job where I worked for a dating app. It was at a time where the CEO was trying to turn the dating app into “more than a dating app” by adding tons of social features. We always had “interests” which allowed users to see what interests they had in common with another person, but he wanted to take the social component even further.
So with that, he decided we needed an “activity feed.” The activity feed would show what various Facebook connected users were liking on Facebook, posting on Facebook, etc. On a dating app. Where the majority of the audience was > 50 years old. The idea was absolutely ridiculous and everyone but the CEO knew it was destined for failure before we started building it.
But that’s not the best part. The best part was when we launched the activity feed component. We launched it late on day and went home shortly after. The next morning, we came in, and checked on the activity feed to see what was doing. It was literally all spammers liking porn/sex related stuff on Facebook. It was a complete disaster. All garbage but not just boring garbage - completely obscene garbage.
And just like that, the activity feature came and went in the course of a few days.18 -
A client wanted me to make a website that compared the users face to that of a wrestler. We had done a lot of work, but now he wants to switch it...
to pornstars.
So, I guess the next week of my work is gonna be scraping porn websites. NSFW, for work.23 -
I lost a friend today😭.
He wanted to checkout my MacBook Pro, because he was thinking about buying one.
So I pulled mine out of my backpack, and turned it on.. Then windows 10 popped up!
I looked at him in shock like I just got caught watching porn. I tried to explain to him “it’s not what you think! I had to install it to use Microsoft Project!
He just looked at me in disgust, shaking his head, and walked away....35 -
Learnt Murphy's law the hard way,
Don't use your office laptop to create a personal auto porn downloading project specially when your boss suddenly wants to use your laptop to do a product demo to client.
Now looking for a new job, let me know if anyone need a smart developer who loves solving problems like the one mentioned above.26 -
Had a conversation with someone a little while ago. I opened my email app (TutaNota) and he asked what the hell that email thingy was. Explained the encrypted/privacy reasons.
"Why would you encrypt everything?"
Because I have stuff to hide. Do you?
"Nahh I just use outlook, I have nothing to hide".
Told him to email me all his usernames/passwords, bank statements, porn preferences, emails, messages etc etc.
"But that's private data!".
Exactly.
"But I thought you meant like crime/illegal stuffs etc"
Nope. I just asked if you had anything to hide, you interpreted that as having anything non-lawfully to hide. I never even asked anything in relation to non-lawful stuff.
Because, having something to hide doesn't mean it's criminal/illegal, it means you'd like to keep that stuff private.29 -
If you accidentally send out a porn link, your best line of defense is to send 10 more, then blame it in a virus.
In fact just make a virus at this point.15 -
Guy left his computer unlocked. Boss came over looking for him, sat down at his computer and opened lots of porn and left saying 'that will teach him'.14
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What's the downside of having a "high tech" classroom with Bose speakers and a mid tier PC you say?
Hackers
So back in highschool we used to have these fancy "corporate" classrooms with speakers, PC and projector setup (plus really comfy chairs). Classrooms were organized in triads next to each other so we usually knew when classes where taking place next to us.
One day I decided to fuck around with teachers, I waited until he/she started class and I remotely blasted music or porn sounds on the third empty classroom and waited until the angry teacher rushed to the classroom then...silence...nothing but an empty classroom.
One day one of the teachers was so pissed because I orchestrated a Vivaldi concert with the 3 classrooms he rushed into ours and took a friend of mine who he had a personal grudge against, I kinda felt bad but not so much after my mate told me that was genius and that we should do it again.
13 -
I somehow want to make an ai that analyses porn videos and learns to distinguish the parts when he cums on her face. I would call it facial recognition.
Sorry.20 -
How do you tell your family that you are currently developing a PornSite for a Client?
*Asking for a friend*
Note: I don't have friends43 -
This is Why I give IT support so much respect.
Friend: my computer stopped working can you help?
Me: (porn...again) fine I'll help.
Friend: come over when your ready
Me: Be there tomorrow bro
Next day.....
Me: where is your desktop
Friend: upstairs, I tried everything man
Me: look at the monitor... look at the hp piece of shit.. see green light on... look back at the monitor...no light... look at my friend.
Friend: 😕
Me:😪
Friend:😳
Me: look behind the desk...
Friend: 😰
Me: 😪your monitor is unplugged
Friend: 😅
Me: fuck you lose my number5 -
What genius had the idea of adding Chromecast support to pornhub? 📺
"Hey, let's make sure horny teenagers can easily or by accident present their interests on the Chromecast enabled family TV!"18 -
Movie idea: a plane in mid air catches the wannacrypt virus and refuses manual control. The plane flies straight forward but they only have 2h until they're out of fuel and crash. The only way to pay the ransom is to get enough bitcoins but a recent price-fluctuation made the amount of bitcoins to pay way too high. The only way to resolve this is to create a tumoil on social media causing the bitcoin price to go down.
Visit your local cinema this summer to see 200 passengers and a group of devrant-guest-starrings use nothing but their brains, geniuety and arsenal of devices. Will they find the guy that blocks the wifi by watching 4k porn? Will alice and alexdelarge have to resort to building a fuel-powered mining-rig? Or will linux and linuxxx compile an open-source cockpit program before they run out of time? If so, will they even be able to decide on a linux distro to install on the cockpit?
Coming out in <% new Date().getFullYear() + 1 %>22 -
Douche: So your a programmer ?
Me: Yes
Douche: Excellent, I have an idea.....
Me: No
Douche: cmon bro, week be rich, this screensaver so will make us tons of money
Me: I have a question.
Douche: corz man waddup
Me: do you use a screensaver?
Douche: no, why?
Me: *walks away angrily10 -
Just noticed YouTube got inspired by porn video sites and now they are showing very short preview of video on thumbnail hover.
Nice but not that useful feature for non porn video site.5 -
Story.
Did you know logging into chrome will auto sync all your fucking bookmarks to that other person's account??
I DIDN'T!!
(I use Firefox mainly and chromium for testing.)
I use chrome only for porn. Got shit tons of bookmarks. I login to my friend's sister Gmail on my chrome(for remote desktop - to help fix her computer. Somehow,remote desktop doesn't work on chromium)
Was browsing her pc via remote session and suddenly all of my porn bookmarks appear at the top bar.)
Had to manually select each bookmark in the bookmark manager and delete since CTRL+A won't work during the remote session. Don't know why.
FML.28 -
Client: Glad to have you on the team, you come highly recommended for your experience in Microsoft technology, specifically asp.net
Me: I was contacted for a php, mariadb project
Client: well they're all the same
Me: actually sir no.... No they're not.
Client: then why was I told to contact you
Me: you tell me, your hiring manager contacted me for a php project not asp or. Net
Client: well I guess I know who to blame for your, sorry for taking your time. Can I contact you if we have a project made with that thing you mentioned?
Me: php?, Sure
Client: nice...... Take care
Me: you too
That went better than I expected3 -
When you want to be a godly programmer but all you do on your free time is watch movies and porn. :(14
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FUCK YOU WORDPRESS!
YOU'RE NO MORE THAN A BLOG SYSTEM GONE WRONG, YOU FUCKING PIECE OF UTTER SHIT!
THE FACT THAT YOU AND YOUR FUGLY ARCHITECTURE EVEN MANAGED TO TAKE OVER THE WEB IS ONLY COMPARABLE TO INTERNET EXPLORER BEING AS WIDESPREAD AS IT IS, AND FOR THE SAME REASON - BEING THE DEFAULT FUCKING OPTION.
I HOPE YOUR DEVS DIE ALONG WITH YOU, AND I LONG FOR THE DAY WHEN ALL WORDPRESS-BASED WEBSITES GET HACKED, DEFACED AND ABUSED, AND GET FILLED WITH SCAT PORN ALONG WITH STILL PHOTOS OF "2 GIRLS 1 CUP - BEHIND THE SCENES".
FUCK YOU WORDPRESS, FUCK YOU TO THE END OF DAYS.27 -
When a newb asks you 'what's the difference between git and github?' rhetorically ask them 'What's the difference between porn and pornhub?'8
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When I was in high school, the IT had the bright idea to use the same username/password for each machine in our site, and there was this jerk who knowing this, would occasionally SSH into the computers of the other classmates and wget porn mp4s to their home directory to embarrass them, as some sort of weird-ass prank.
So, in order to give him a lesson, I one day had logged in and set a rule on the class' router to forward all port 22 traffic back to his own IP address, and had SSHed into his machine, aliasing wget with a full-screen kiosk mode chrome, followed by a force disable of the USB HID devices.
It might have been less awkward and he might have seen less scared, if it wasn't for the fact that I had also remotely set his machine to maximum volume, and the teacher wasn't in the middle of a lecture. 😏
To this date, his expression is the most precious reaction I have ever seen.8 -
Awesome teacher number two: another Linux teacher!
Didn't have many classes from him but damn he could interact with the students!
He was very open (it just autocorrected that to porn O.o) minded, very passionate about Linux and new shitloads about security. You'd expect him to be like 50 as for his knowledge amounts but he was around 27 I think.
He could go into discussions with students on the windows vs Linux subject, made it look like they were winning and then completely burn them in just a few sentences.
I think he liked me a lot because we would talk all kinds of Linux stuff.
He'd also help people with windows sometimes but windows servers where a very fucking no-go for him.
Man, I miss that guy 😞11 -
Clint want custom CMS with php,
*makes custom CMS with php
Client thinks it's not php coz it looks pretty.
*shows php code
client still not convinced it's php8 -
Ever been scared to open your laptop in public because you can't remember if you closed the porn you were watching the prior night?22
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one of my cousin ask me to help him for uploading his ex's private pics and videos on porn websites.
Because her parents are not allowing their marriage and she is not ready to go against family (he is not working anywhere, Jobless)
I simply take screenshots of our chat and send to his ex and her parents.
Hope they will punish him.16 -
Last weekend I witnessed the most infected computer I have ever seen in my life...
I went on a private party. A girl had her laptop plugged to the speakers to play some music. This thing was literally 99% cancer. The first thing I noticed, when I looked at her opened browser, was that nearly half the screen was taken by toolbars. Also any popular website you could visit had additional ads INJECTED into it. The fist 10 YouTube search results: always porn. No idea how that didn't make her suspicious.
Precisely every 10th click (anywhere not only in the browser) would open up a window with either more ads or an aggressively blinking message saying: "A virus has been detected on your machine. Click here to download our antivirus programm. You have 60 seconds left before your firewall breaks!!!".
Also physically this device was on the edge of completely broken. The power supply had to be taped to the socket because it was so loose. Every little jiggle would immediatly shut the system down and Windows had to be completely reinstalled (which of course didn't solved any of the "software issues").
First I wanted to use that laptop to show some friends a new web project of mine but this thing probably would have DDoSed the shit out of my recently finished work or something.
I couldn't decide if I should laugh or cry...11 -
"I want to create a Linux distribution from scratch but i don't know how to code, I'll pay you $300 but i get to have the rights to it"8
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I'm starting to think customers know when I'm busy and take that moment to break their products.
I JUST WANT TO LET MY LEG SOAK IN EPSOM WATER... your users are going to bed soon, it's a freaking Saturday, and you need to go get laid because you have too much time on your hands. I'm in pain and cannot help you restore service if you don't stay on the line. So please... don't. Fucking. Call me. Unless you're going to stay on the line to test. You're pushing my limits, and if my voice gets any quieter, it means I'm about to find your porn accounts and register you as an amateur, uploading cows fucking to get you banned from all the services. Congratulations sir, you've pissed me off so bad, I'm using my "I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed" voice I learned from my mother. I hope you're happy. I'm so mad I'm not even swearing anymore. I always swear.
Edit: if my voice ever sounds sweet and demure over the phone, someone is about to get fucked with a red hot fireplace poker. This fucker getting close.1 -
Well one time, it was very awkaward.
My colleague went to lunch, and he was working on some website for international client.
So he left his mac unlocked, and as soon as I saw that I thought i would be cool to add click listener on body of page, and on click it opens up 100 tabs of porn. And I did that.
Before he returned from lunch, client called my boss, with wtf is happeneing with his site, and that it is constantly opening up porn.
What i didnt realize that before colleague went to lunch he contacted client to see some progress. And suprisingly I didnt know that his editor atom was automatically set up to upload website on save to dev server that client is currently looking.
We ofcourse told client it was the hackers :)
But boss wasnt that stupid.
Instant karma.5 -
Jjust got a notification from google drive that I'm out of space. Which is weird because I only have some documentation on there.
So I go looking around and find a folder of "Earth Porn". Apparently I had forgotten to stop a script I made about a year ago that saves all the /r/earthporn top posts.
Atleast I got screensavers for a life time though.12 -
If you let me use your WiFi, I feel bad for you son.
I can see your 99 problems, and porn is definitely one!
😉😂😂😂😂7 -
Me and a junior coder are working on a project. However, he likes to think he's funny and say "Ok google" to stop me from using my phone.
He said "Ok google, search midget porn" when I was calling my mom so naturally I need to get back at him, so when he's in the rec room, I backed up all his code on my flash drive, and copied it to the clipboard, and removed all project files from his computer.
He came back while I was in the bathroom, and when I reentered the room and was balling his eyes out, that his project was gone. I said to him, don't ok google me again and I handed him the flash drive back. He has never done anything bad again.12 -
Although I'm a Linux fan, I have to admit a few things:
1. BSD has the best mascot BY FAR.
2. Windows XP had the best sounds. Almost orgasmic...
3. Apple has the best fanboys. You see all those retards camping out of an Apple store waiting for a new gadget, it makes you feel good about yourself...
4. I would also say something about Google and Android, but they know what kind of porn I watch, so I think it's wise to skip that one...7 -
A while ago the company I'm working for had this independent designer on contract so I was assigned to set up his workstation. Brand new pc dual monitor Photoshop license gaming keyboard and mouse cause "the lights kept him focused". We're talking about a 2000€+ machine and tools. I don't know exactly what that wanted him to do as I didn't ask. Who cares. The best part is below.
So I set up his things and all and make him a shortcut to the file server on his desktop. I then proceed to explain to him that this server has the files of every dpt in the company and told him where he could find his.
His only response was when he asked "how about my internet access?"
Me: everything except some "very certain sites"
He: Eeeehh well I kinda need those. Just give me access, I won't tell anyone.
Me: Sorry sir, I cannot do that company policy.
He: I'm telling you I need the access, I'm not kidding.
Me: Ok sir, if you really need it, open a ticket to the admin and if you explain your reasons I'm sure you will come to an agreement.
He: That's bullshit kid, if you won't do it I'm gonna report you for denial of service and do it myself.
Me just nodding and walking away: You do that sir.
So ofc I went and informed the admin that this guy might pull something.
Soon enough, a few weeks later the admin calls me over to his desk and points at the screen trying not to burst in laughter.
The guy (designer) brought an HDD and filled his folder on the server with porn. We're talking about 200gb or something.
When confronted he said something about severe anxiety and that porn was his way of calming down. Some guys told me my name came up in the VPs office but after the "evidence" nothing really happened except his contract getting terminated.
I think we learned something that day. Don't jerk off in the office guys :)10 -
Happy 0x7E2!
Fun fact:
2018 = 2 x 1009 (both prime)
8102 = 2 x 4051 (both prime)
Let we all finiah at least one side project this year!11 -
I was called as an IT technician at law firm to install a program in a lawyer's pc. Found a porn video saved in bookmarks...why? 🙄14
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Yesterday I was downloading illegal movie from the Internet and found this movie under comedy section and thought to download. After downloading I found out that it was a girl-to-girl porn.
Dear Developers and Content editors
Do your fucken job right and link the correct files.
Thank you.
PS: I enjoyed the porn13 -
Finished setting up my little war machine at the new desk. Posting picture as proof that this table was indeed tidy at some point in time.
15 -
I have a theory, it's that the internet is split into a couple of "worlds":
1) Shitnet, designed for FUCKING MORONS WHO CAN BARELY BREATH!
2) Porn, Porn, Porn. This is obvious.
3) Mother Russia, extremely helpful Russian websites. Full of piracy and obscure software.
4) And then there is the smallest one, the one I and we devs like the most, the good tech sites. Not tech news, but useful websites about HW/SW.
Do you agree, do you have any other categories to add?
WHY THE FUCK IS THE 4th CATEGORY SO FUCKING SMALL, IF WE AS DEVS MAKE EVRYTHING ON THE INTERNET?.32 -
When you laugh at a devRant post and the non-tech 50 year-old woman next to you finds out your good with computers. And then she asks you to delete her porn history... Awkward2
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When you look at your browser history and realise you watched porn on a browser linked to your work Google account6
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Free High Quality Porn bitches. I am sure you won't regret.
https://reddit.com/r/...
This might make you feel inferior though.
Hardcore NFSW 😎30 -
"I'll stop using Windows, Google, Youtube, Facebook, etc and move to a fucking hipster unsupported linux distro, so that they can't spy me in my top secret activities such as watching porn and browsing /r/me_irl"
sigh...40 -
Tumblr looks like a burning ruins right now.
They won’t actually delete porn, but they won’t allow to post porn since today either. So, petabytes of porn are here, untouched.
They haven’t defeated porn on tumblr, but they got rid of almost all of the creators who’d driven their crappy website, they’re gone to reddit and Twitter. So, that’s what I call “defeat”.
It’s funny how they posted a gif containing what they consider a permitted content and their own bot flagged it just minutes after
51 -
you guys complaining about doing PHP and WP because you needed money sounds like confessing about doing porn in college
"Sorry mom, but I really needed the money ..."1 -
Why even bother with article sites now? Try to search for a quick answer to a question and the only resource is some article and the user is met with:
- "Hi, here's where all your data goes. Please unsubscribe from our 937 partners and continue."
- "DO YOU KNOW WE USE COOKIES?" (Covers 60% of the page).
- "It looks like you're using adblocker. Mind whitelisting us for the 2 minutes we're in your life for? "
- "Before we show you the single sentence answer you're looking for let us promote our shitty content that you'll never click on because we hired the guy who makes shady porn links on every z-list site possible."
- "This article is in multiple parts to spread ad revenue. Click next to continue."
There's probably an extension that stops most of this but christ, it shouldn't be this bad.10 -
Really, I hate this composer / bower / npm shitholes!
Why the hell is my app 300MBs?!? Because that shitty pudding composer decided to download the ENTIRE git including README.md, examples, 5 hours of assembly-giraffe porn, my granny's pajamas and two wraps of kebabs!
How hard is it to define the folder that contains the REQUIRED library so that our project might stay at 5MBs instead of 300?17 -
1. Put headphones
2. Put videogame OST (Chrono Trigger is the best)
3. Start Atom
4. Sacrifice a male virgin to my Code Muse to replenish her mana stock
5. Jerk off seeing a fat granny midget porn
6. Clorophorm and put my coworker to sleep so he doesn't interrupt me to show the FailArm best fails of 2016
7. Atom is still loading, so I curse all the GitHub fuckers
8. Give up and start my emulator to play Chrono Trigger
9. Receive a pull request and realise I need to work and be a productive member of society
10. Goto 110 -
Dear Luis,
If you are an anonymous hacker, please do not include your name in the mail.
Sincerely,
cursemeslowly a.k.a the person who has visited a porn site and supposedly being hacked by an Anonymous Hacker named Luis
32 -
I just noticed this in silicon valley season 2, during the porn transfer. Clever reference to 2g1c. 🤣
3 -
Anyone here who also got super bored while on a porn site and ended up pentesting that porn site..?15
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Just saw this, people competing who's gonna put coolest shit inside 140 characters
https://www.dwitter.net/top
Some serious (js)dev porn inside9 -
You guys know the concept of devs giving a time estimation to their project manager, so that he can give a time estimation + pricing to the client, so the PM would leave them alone until the deadline is about to arrive, right?
Well, my PM doesn't.
Today is Tuesday. You friggin' gave the client an estimation of 5 days about this new project, and we started working on the project on Sunday, 2 days ago.
WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU ASKING ME ABOUT WHEN WE THINK WE'LL BE DONE SINCE YESTERDAY THEN?! IT'S NOT LIKE I'M JERKING OFF TO PORN OVER HERE FFS.7 -
Finally YouTube implemented something from the porn websites. I'm talking about quick video review on thumbnails.6
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Hardcore loli porn.
Just kiddig. Video games and math study. I believe that the most elegant solutions come in the form of math and the challenge they impose as well as the satisfaction of getting the correct result (or the estimate for it) are comparable to running a succesfull application.15 -
If some yampy bloke ask me bout the origin of my username again imma shove a can of ice cold monster™ energy drink up em ass (: Is it hard to look it up?? (Dont look it up tho, it porn)
So it a funky ass breakbeat/chiptune kinda album. Sod off.
20 -
Someone posted a picture of a porn actress(like a *new* actress) that looks exactly like my manager.....bruh this is killing me she looks exactly like my manager to the point that it is freaking me out thinking that she has a gig on the side or something
I can't get over this.
This is what happens when your manager is insanely attractive.
Internet wtf.
No i am not posting pictures.54 -
1. Ability to freeze time... (except for internet & computer speed). Too many ideas, not enough hours in a day. Sleep should be declared optional as well.
2. Ability to not eat/drink at all, or eat/drink in copious quantities without negative effects. I enjoy a cognac, pizza & chocolate binge more than nausea, upwards BMI creep and hangovers.
3. True Virtual Reality. None of this headset crap, but immersiveness rivaling reality itself, with voice-controlled AI-assisted interfaces to "program" anything by simply describing it, iterating over details to add increasing complexities. Not even for porn reasons... my head just overflows with creative ideas for "holonovels" and interactive worldbuilding, but I don't have the patience nor artistic skills for game development.4 -
One time I did that "show all windows" gesture while my MacBook was connected to a beamer in front of about eight people when suddenly a text editor containing tons of porn site accounts appeared from the background.2
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At that point, fuck jobs. I'm going to a tropical island to sip fruity rum drinks with little umbrellas in them while watching downloaded internet porn.7
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What the hell is wrong with you guys taking screenshots with your goddamn phone?! Ever heard of that small magical programm called "snipping tool"? It's like fucking screenshot porn! And yes, there is a screenshot programm on Linux too. Goddammit. Are you devs or fucking newbie users?16
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Forget porn detection and chatbots. What the big companies SHOULD be using AI for is detecting missing semicolons in code.15
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Parental Advisory Explicit Content
TL;DR: I am surrounded by ass licking low thinkers who just care of what society thinks about them.
As you all know, my workplace is a mess. Full of parliamentary political shit.
The incompetent co-workers spend their time on https://web.whatsapp.com trading their neighbours porn all day.
All this ass sucking leeches care about is what society thinks of them. Constant focus on their looks trying to act like Tom Cruise.
Why don't you just go and shove that deo in your ass and press the nozzle to enjoy the cold spary????
They can bully you, they can curse you, back bitch you and involve you in politics. Joke with the motherfucker once and he is pissed off for more than month because his ego was hurt.
The old chap is a sadistic professional ass licker who is shit scared to disagree with anybody fearing his societal image.
You know what bro? FUCK YOU AND FUCK OFF.
BLOODY TWO FACED FOUL MOUTHED TURD.
I FUCKING HATE SUCH PEOPLE WHO HAVE ZERO DIGNITY AND SELF RESPECT. LET ALONE HAVING SOME BELIEFS AND LIVING LIFE BY CERTAIN VALUES.
THEY CAN GO DOWN TO ANY LEVEL TO PLEASE PEOPLE. THEY BUY RESPECT AND NOT EARN IT.
GOD SAVE ME FROM THESE POLITICIANS.4 -
I wonder if flappy bird dev is in this community. Anyway, I want to ask you guys - What would have you done if you were in his situation?
I hear he removed the game after he saw people are wasting too much time on it.
People waste too much time on porn, Facebook, YouTube and what not. I don't understand his reasoning behind removing the game.
Anyway, what would have you done?
27 -
Help!!!!
Finally with help of @fuck2code and some Googling I managed to configure my hosts file to block most of ad trackers, porn and everything around.
We also got single file to toggle the hosts file when required.
Now I am trying to do the same on my WiFi router but not sure how to do it.
Google does not have relevant results.
Any network or sysadmins here who can help me?
I am using Netgear Genie.38 -
Hurricane's fixing to hit.
What does that mean?
Downloading porn and movies for the power outage that's imminent. Priorities are aligned lol6 -
Two prisoners built two computer from recycled parts, hacked into the security system and also gained access to the Internet. They got caught because they probably downloaded too much porn.
http://gizmodo.co.uk/2017/04/...5 -
A neural network backed video search engine which would let me look up porn with the pornstar from the video that i'm watching right now :D10
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Can ppl stop bitching out about their ides not running smoothly with 8gb+ ram? I mean 8gb ram wise is enough, unless you have 20+ browser tabs open, watching some casual porn, downloading some more porn in the background and maybe running some benchmarks just for the sake of not letting your dollars go to waste...15
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Like u know how CPUs rely on basics of subatomic physics? So right now, in 2018, the biggest use of quantum mechanics is porn. Just think about that.2
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I can't get the wifi generation. I love cables (except when they are in front of the tv), their performance, their plug-n-play without conflicts, that high level of nerdy childish porn of 80's in all the magnificence. It's just me? *snowflake feelings*9
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Never worked before so I'll talk about one of the former staff at my school.
This guy worked as IT and did some teaching in the high school. Early last year, he suddenly disappears for no reason.
Now, I'm going to go in order of what we (the students) found out, not, chronological order.
Firstly, turns out that in class he would make comments about female students. Nothing explicit, just kinda strange. I forget the examples I heard but think like the overly friendly old guy. Those types of comments from a 40-something IT guy. (Some female students knew about this for a long while but I only heard about it after the investigation)
Next, rumor got out that they found some stuff on his computer. I don't know how, but it turned out to be accurate, and we were accurate at the follow-up assumption that it was porn.
After that, the school made an announcement that we had been arrested. Up until then, we just assumed he had been sacked. He was weird sure, but we didn't think criminal.
Some other students looked into the police records, and it turns out this guy had been arrested for possession and distribution of child pornography.
Pretty sick right? Its worth pointing out now that our school has Pre-K through 12th grade students.
I gained a new level of respect for my female classmates after that. I didn't even know that was going on, really wish I could have helped out.3 -
PRIVATE - This is private, nothing here. seriously, there is nothing here. Do not click; I'm not kidding. Definitely no... [read more]3
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I have a confession to make. When i started programming it was done in my room all alone for around 6 months. I started watching porn while programming. And eventually only watched porn while coding to a point where I got turned on by programming.
I'm not sure if this further stimulated my love for programming or dimmed it. But sex and coding are now linked in my brain.7 -
I should never have had porn while monitoring servers. I've just pasted a xvideos link into terminal 😶
Damn, I just hope there is a command to clear the terminal history13 -
People who are cribbing about privacy e-mail bombardment because of GDPR, why did you sign up on so many porn sites?4
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https://iknowwhatyoudownload.com/
if private tracker then no problem, but on public IP, everything gets listed down.
Problem here is i didn't download any of it, and i also got tagged as "likes porn" (what kind of shit is that ??)
how did this list was generated in the first place ?
19 -
I read this in stackoverflow today:
Welcome to every C/C++ programmers bestest friend: Undefined Behavior.
There is a lot that is not specified by the language standard, for a variety of reasons. This is one of them.
In general, whenever you encounter undefined behavior, anything might happen. The application may crash, it may freeze, it may eject your CD-ROM drive or make demons come out of your nose. It may format your harddrive or email all your porn to your grandmother.
source:
http://stackoverflow.com/questions/...1 -
Well, if consuming of anime media without any interaction with other anime geeks counts as geek activity...
On the other hand I do find creative porn entertaining 🤔13 -
Devrant: the only place where people don't post links to porn unless it is not actually related to the porn.3
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You know you have a good job when your manager gives you permission to watch porn on a hololens while on camera5
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Some days ago a friend told me about this good site to by the new .app domains, bigdaddy.com.
So I wanted to look for a domain and ooops, thats gay porn 😮
I confused names with godaddy.com. Maybe a lecture at uni is not the best place to open this site 😅 -
I was really surprised how much hardcore work there is on freelancer.com. At first I asked myself what hardcore coding would look like. Then I realized... 😥 Only females wanted.7
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I don't know if anyone else here uses kik but there's something that's been bugging me for a while
Occasionally (frequently) bots start a conversation with you (the typical "come visit my porn website etc etc), right? Now, this has happened to me at least 20 times now, and EVERY single time, the bot's profile picture has loads of translucent yellow stars edited in, and I have no idea why
I can't think of a possible explanation for this, and I've put a lot of thought into it
Attached is a cropped version of what I mean
22 -
Okay so I’m swiping through tinder for my fellow coding mate and I’m either looking at a porn star or an lg.
Sooooo figures I might as well throw this out here:
Any females? Melbourne Australia??
I’m tired of swiping and I don’t want him to be lonely 😢20 -
Can we please stop asking endusers dumbed down questions if they ask for something different than the actual issue?
We are the ones responsible for chainmails about pseudo messenger "viruses" and people thinking your computer blews up just from visiting a porn site.
We are the ones who ask questions like "did you watch porn on this device?" instead of "did you download shady files?", so now everyone thinks simply watching a webvideo destroys your computer beyond repair.4 -
I was working on my OOD class project (code analyzer) while my gf was trying to watch greys anatomy...for some reason Netflix and watch series wasn't working and she asked me what do I do...
My spontaneous reply: have u tried github...😕
Her reply: what is that is it like a porn site4 -
When a ping with less than 10ms eqauls ping porn, shouldn't pinging yourself be considered masturbating?2
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Just woke up from a really weird dream about coding in PHP, watching Porn, some guy getting is dick cut off...
I wonder if all those things are somewhat related...6 -
I've just added the possibility to connect to an external game server to my app and immediately regret it. People started sending me emails saying that it doesn't work. What they entered in the URL bar? "hi", "cunt" and a porn website...9
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Damn, this delicate 15.6" piece of plastic I call my laptop is the reason I have to tolerate stupid curious college-mates. Whenever I open it, everyone is like woah dude, you are a coder! does it have porn ? or games ?
yeah mann fuck you . its 2018 , I don't play pc games and I can watch porn online . can you fucktards just leave me alone and let me work ?
Why don't we have cheap laptops with good specs but smaller screens? like 7" or 9"
fucking CSE college pervs acting like babies :/8 -
So ... I'm just watching an anime (Musaigen no Phantom World) ... and this scene isn't related to the main plot. This is the intro of the third episode - the intros of the first two episodes were about the "phantoms", "illusions" ... :)
It starts with a blue screen and the little fairy (it's a phantom btw) said: "When the PC goes crazy, you panic quickly."
In the screenshot he says: "It is important to back up your data somewhere in case of an emergency."
A second screenshot is added in the comments.
14 -
I don't think it's a coincidence that my internet disconnects for a few seconds when i click link to porn sites.
Happy everytime time :/10 -
I am mad!
So.. my school board made everyone email accounts.. without our permission. Then we are forced to do all our work and everything on that account.
Ok.. so what?
That's not the bad part..
I have been trying to get away with using my personal account because the school one has various plugins and apps that I don't want and can't uninstall.
I was asking a teacher about this and some where in the conversation, they mentioned that they automatically install an app on to our computers that let's them view our search history and logins. I hate this! I don't want them looking through my history. There isn't any porn but having a bunch of searches for penatration testing and stuff like that would bring up red flags.
Anyways.. my question is, what can I do to stop this? Or at Least make it harder for them to mess with / read my stuff?
All of this happens on my Chromebook (developer mode enabled.) (Linux based)
Suggestions and your own stories would be appreciated.17 -
So... Lots of rants about hacking.
Let me yell you a story...
Two decades ago I was asked to fix the school library computers and block then from using mIRC.
I cleaned all the machines, reinstalled the pirate copy of windows I was provided, blocked installing programs, blocked running of programs except the ones required (office, Netscape) and vnc in every computer, that I could access in a off-site computer.
Next day all the computers had mIRC... Just to show how kids are smart... Someone changed the MIRC.exe to iexplore.exe and that way could execute any program he wanted...
Invisible hard drive? Just use command line (so he could copy mIRC to a hidden folder)
Still, scared lots of kids, wen watching porn and a message would pop up , asking to not watch porn in school, but never couth the guy -
Client: "documentation, oh you mean those grey texts the previous code guy wrote on the code files"
Me: I kinda need more than "grey texts on the code files" if you want me to actually fix the system and implement the new specs.
Client: oh you mean the Microsoft asp books
Me: It's a Laravel system sir, it's php not asp.net
Client: what are those?
Me:.................2 -
seeing all these real life computer setups and desktops makes me drool. @dfox and @trogus , mind if i suggest creating a tab or place to share this exquisite computer porn ?7
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Bought a new motherboard and a new PSU. It's the best feeling ever when everything is plugged in, you turn on the computer and you hear how the fans are spinning, you see the post screen and then a beep, indicating that everything is okay.3
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You know it's been a good day's work, when you look at the code you've written and part of u just feels like touching yourself.5
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I'm having a cold and going through Kleenexes faster than a porn addict with Duracell stamina.
So, the question is what therapy exercise to engage in, that fits a brain that's semi dysfunctional due to fever. Last time, I made a Sudoku solver. This turned out to be very useful, because every time someone says "You should try Sudoku!", I can just end the persuasion attempt by replying "I've already solved the general case".
Might do a Rubik's cube solver this time.9 -
I was asked to check something today that was handed over on a USB stick. "Could you check that the file structure is correct". Of course I said. Then I prepared my camera, changed the insides of the stick to my rubber ducky, wrote a little script and uploaded it. Oh yea and corrected the structure.
The face of the colleague was priceless when I brought back the stick and he sticked it right into his computer.
The script was roughly:
- open browser
- open history
- search "porn"
- select second row
- enter
=D office pranks <32 -
Ranting about the guy on DevRant.
Business Guy asks me what app I'm using.
Open Midget Porn instead.
If he found out, I'm fucked.4 -
Non-techie friend: Does Blu-ray Compact disc will be blue in color or contains blue films ( In India we use blue films to refer porn movies ) ?
Me: :/6 -
I was thinking about masters in computational neuroscience, so I revisited the lecture notes I took as an undergraduate during intro courses. This shit fucks you so hard it deserves its own porn category somewhere between fisting and DP.3
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Somebody asked me if I could make a little windows program that can download and save streams from a camgirl (porn) site (he would pay me for it in Bitcoin)...
This is by far one of the weirdest client requests I've gotten so far...13 -
Saw @Linuxxx sad cuz his name was not among @BroCow porn tags.
So I figured I'd rant to include his name with triple xxx in rant.
Oh on a side node..
How's things going, @Ashkin?
Bad Trifecta still got ye down? :/..24 -
If I didn't find the information I need from your web page on the first few seconds, I close. And no, I don't want to get a notification from you.3
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mini story/contest for ++:
today right before my first lesson some of my classmates were talking bout viruses/antiviruses AND THEY WERE JUST TRYING TO SEEM LIKE THEY ARE GENIOUSES!!!
sooo, one girl said that his friend created a virus and it took 8h(if i remmeber correctly) to find it - it litrely says nothing possitive about any1, nor virus creator, nor those that searcehed for it... all i could think of is negative stuff, tho more info needed to know who sucks the most....
som1 said that it is the best to install several antiviruses.... ye....<no comment>
quoute of one autist "the best antivirus is the one with robot icon" (i think he ment eset nod32) - ye...<no comment ether>
and acctualy same guy said that he "keeps getting viruses" and got SERIOUSLY offended once i told him "why dont u stop visiting porn sites?"
So, why didint I told them the truth? well, the thing is that i dont acctualy want to explane them how antiviruses work nor i know it well enough (i just know general idea)
oh, and u guys have no idea how cringy that whole converstion was for me.. i was bearly holding myself
FUN PART: ill ++ every single one who is going to explane anything that includes stuff that i said above7 -
My best prank: A year ago I was at my friends flat, which he finally rented with his new girlfriend. He is a kind of person, which has like constantly opened 110 tabs in chrome, three or four instances of chrome running, torrenting at full speed and in the meanwhile a few films having opened to "watch" later. He is very very secure about his computer and NEVER leaves me or anyone else alone with his computer. That day we were just talking in the same room, and he goes for some food. I was like yeah thats my chance to prank him. So I opened a new tab and came with an idea - what If I change his desktop background to some random chick, to prank both him and his gf. I knew she will not be mad but his reaction would be priceless (it was his first gf). So I started googling, found a three pretty naked chicks. This was like soft porn, they were still "dressed" but not much. I did not wanted to use a porn for this.
So I was about to download image - right click - save as - little window opened and..
...what the hell, that guy had literally like terabytes of porn in download folder, all totally in one chaos, thousands of images, millions of downloaded videos, all categories just everything from gangbang to milfs or old/ young, what the fuck that computer was like cursed station of porn.
In that point I was like fuck that. This prank has no sense then. So I just closed that little window and did nothing. Prank failed.
Nowdays, He still does not know what I know about his "hobbies". And I will never say him lol. About a months after he broke with his gf and moved to different house. He has now three monitors attached to his computer and 4tb of space. He is still complaining about "lack of space" and "too big downloaded movies" but we all know what is going on lol. We call his "working deck" a sacred porn station.1 -
For the love of the almighty, merciful God, fuck IBM until their company is brought down in ruins! May the earth they worked at be salted, and may they be struck from all records! May the families who speak of sons or daughters who work there be stripped of their status in life, begging in the streets!
May nobody be allowed to list them on resumes! May nobody be allowed to work for them! May they be a blight, hidden like the dirtiest porn magazines!
May mother's weep when children apply to them! May father's disown!
May managers avoid them! May they be scoffed at like the fools of old!
Oh how the mighty have fallen! The scholars brought low! May they repent before the day of judgement! May the change their ways! May they weep with sackcloth before the world, begging to be spared!
Fuck them! If you can't tell, I am pissed off!3 -
First exposure to computer?
Back in 2005, I think. Windows PC, I think. The rest is very blur.
All I can remember is it was white and monitor was big like a television. First ever computer of our family. No internet. No game except solatire and craps. Mainly just used it for porn-purpose. Did some programming assignments. Did some poems writing and then printed them out with all-in-1 printer and tried to sell the booklet to girls in public. (Obviously sold zero).2 -
HELP ME OUT BRUTHA AND SISTUR..
I've finally finished my website - now's the time to do the tedious thing and get a decent hosting for as little money as possible.
Does anyone know a hosting that has:
- High privacy ethics (not that I'm gonna store porn there, just my screenshots posted via ShareX)
- VPS-based hosting I can put a nice Linux on.
- Unlimited or 'really high' bandwidth.
- Located in Europe (UK included lol).
I would be most thankful :P25 -
All my friends make fun of me because of a rumor I watch porn… I'm only on private for the dark theme…4
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Ads on youtube,
Pop up Ads on games,
Ads on torrent sites,
Pop up Ads on porn pages,
There are people who are happy that they get money out of them,
And, there are People who think it is unfair to have so much ads.
Which person are you?15 -
my farther, it took me three hours to teach him how to use a mouse, and complains about not being able to find the free WiFi (he expects it to be something physical he can walk up to and take).
but whe he finds out the Internet has porn he (by himself without instructions) hacks the senior community center's router to bypass the porn filter.3 -
I have a new personal project that I hope I'll share with you guys one day. It just came to me. A fog simulation for a window manager such that it has fog behind the transparent console while you code and the fog goes in front when the terminal is locked. How about it?2
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Soooo this Canadian mother fuck, own the domain I want, and isn’t using it, and doesn’t wanna sell it.. tells me he is using it for his business.. after a bit of research the domain went inactive after 2007. Hours after sending an email.. a wix site pops up. And then then tells me his buisness has been using it for 25 years.. really??! Per public record your buisness went defunct years ago.
Won’t sell me the domain... fine, I’ll buy all the domains with your name in it variants of your buisness name, and point them to gay porn.. FUCK YOU.. fire with fire BITCH!27 -
Thank god there are (web) proxies.
The Turkish government is blocking access to many porn sites (which I find kind of ok - to make a barrier for the kids), but then again also German Streaming websites.
They are not blocking most German websites tho. Just the websites in the "illegal to non ethical" category (which I also find kind of OK), but it annoys me.5 -
Really? You want me to install you an old windows release because "you don't understand the new one"?
What don't you understand? Fucking square buttons? Basic color palletes? Big fat icons with a description below?
What do you miss in a ten years old shitty OS? The need of three antiviruses? The satanic settings layout? Lack of any drivers?
You have a family, you're making them too experience all the security breaches, all the compatibility problems with thing are a "must have" today, and all the slow performance.
Fuck you. Please, please, please, go fuck yourself with your trashy laptop's burnt battery. Pretty please. I already hated you, but now it's out of the charts.
PS: Actually, fuck myself with your crappy laptop's batteries, because my girlfriend told me to help you, and I can't say no, so see you in two weeks, when porn ads are invading your desktop and you're ready to blame me.6 -
TIL Wikipedia was funded by revenue from a porn site.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/...
Porn is everywhere!
It's so obvious porn is the one thing that can bring popularity to VR and AR technology.
pic: Wikipedia founder with some porn stars
9 -
Design patterns are to programming what cum swapping is to porn: The further it is carried, the nastier it gets, and at the end an innocent victim has to clean up the whole mess.4
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1st strike :
My university installed a new infra for internet access. Regular PEAP without certs. And there is another fortiguard firewall busting our ass. Even when I try to access my website it says unrated and kicks me. Same is the case for numerous other websites like torrent cache websites, porn sites, and STEAM. When the shit happened, I just changed the url from http to https. Works fine.
2nd strike :
So the dumbass sysadmin installed mitm. It started blocking us again. In our infra we have a high performance redhat xeon e7 server for student's use with a link connection of 1G/s. I just made an ssh tunnel and tried browsing those websites... It worked. The sysadmin dumbass forgot to route the server traffic through the fortiguard. What a moron!!
Waiting for strike 3...4 -
About 5 years ago I worked at a small company developing websites and .NET applications.
They haven't changed any passwords which means, I still have access to ALL of their customers DNS setups.
Of course I wouldn't do anything.
But just the thought, that I could make an infinite loop, by redirecting the domains, is amazing.
Or redirecting them to a porn site.3 -
Was going through tech training and using tight VNC to access remote machine. A colleague was also accessing the same machine.
When instructor walked around to view my progress, my colleague closed my tab and opened sites like 'church of satan' and porn sites.
😐 -
I applied for a dev job, ofc _without_ looking at their references before sending my candidature.
Turns out 80% of their references are porn sites...
Most of them are quite big as far as I can tell, but I don't really wanna work for a company like them. I'm still young, I don't really think it would make a good impression later on if I'd had a company who makes 80% porn sites in their portfolio in my CV when posting for more serious stuff.
And they asked me for a phone interview. Should I accept it?5 -
I LOST FAITH IN HUMANITY!
searched vim on ddg, found porn. Fuck me.
Looks like there’s no exception to the “3 letters rule”5 -
I don't think there's a better porn search engine than Bing videos. It even suggests some of the most hilarious and outlandish search tags when you look for porn.
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What are you guys doing against brute force attacks on your login webpages? I don't want anybody to access my porn ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). But I don't want to block the useraccount because that would be annoying because you could simple lock a user out of his account :/ any suggestions? What are you doing on your sites?12
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Please share the weirdest business logic you had to implement!
I remember having to filter certain categories and specific movies based on ID that were.. Well.. German porn.. Hardcoded Ids, not proud2 -
Browsing Reddit for weird porn back stories and you stumble upon the efficiency regarding loops
P.S. - the comments has more
9 -
I just realized something, they put a lot of ads and viruses on porn sites because they were so horny, they didn't even think of the consequences opening the sites
*Mind Blown*
Yes Im a bit slow on this...6 -
My previous boss. He is a very cool guy. He treat us lunch and dinner sometimes. We always have a conversation topic like existentialism and being in a subconscious state of mind, because most people I met is just very basic. He also owns an office where we are all working in. we watch porn together at night, gossip about hot girls nearby the office area and curse a lot. I love laid back person like him. Also he's humble as fuck.5
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How did pornhub pitch their idea to investors?
"...making the world a better place by enabling people watch porn faster and reliably" -
I moved to another ISP today. Now my download speed is 40Mbps and upload 20Mbps. I can browse devRant faster and download porn much faster via IDM.13
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I live in a country where Dollars are of very high value, I got a job fteelancing and made some money, after that a friend's brother approched me with some fantastic ideas (I guess he thought of them because 'Hey, he made money, I can too') like building an online game, I told him that i wasn't either a designer or a game developer and he told me that I could go and learn... Yeah like if I can learn game development in a week or be a designer in the same amount of time. When I said no he told me if I didn't want to build a porn site, I kindly rejected again and told him that I like to build tools that are useful for other people then he said that he just wants to make people spend money on internet like if money was going to rain quickly. I didn't even ask but I'm sure he wasn't going to pay me for development. I'm sure that when I see him he's going to tell me more "Fantastic ideas"2
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This network is like a combination of twitter, Microsoft, programmers and porn, so it is exciting to see relevant topics for me.5
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Had to use the pfsense's url in my Default Gateway which is 172.0.1.1 from our school.
Before was:
Youtube-blocked
Facebook-blocked
#anime tags -blocked
#porn tags - blocked
up to 100kbps download speed
After:
All uncensored Websites!
1Mbps download speed
Unfortunately the Network Admin found my IP and slowed down my download speed. I can search R-18 links but I don't want to be caught in his SquidProxy log. so I'm still lucky to browse my animu website.4 -
Does your PC still have a hunk of spinning rust inside it?
Crucial MX300 - 750GB - £105. 99. https://amazon.co.uk/dp/B01DUNLMUU/...
YOU'RE WELCOME.4 -
When I rented my server I uploaded my webpage (including resources like videos, images etc) which is about 150GB as .tar and extracted and setup all that stuff and deleted the backup from my PC. The uploading process took me about 4 days. I opened the site of my server provider and reloaded it.. Aaaaannddd whoops. All data gone.
On my server hosters webpage when you click the reinstall button for installing a Linux image you get returned to the main page of that server after it finished installing. If you then reload that page which basically only shows some monitoring diagrams and shit the server gets reset again.
Damn. I lost so much good porn on that day... -
If in emergency you have to hide porn..
Just put all in one folder and then compress
it with zip/rar and change the extension which none of your computer program can understand or just change it to .class or .cpp!5 -
VR porn sucks... So does Daydream...
Overheating even on OP6... which is why I was watching it at 6am... Ok now I'm off to work...5 -
On the Clients dial in number, in the waiting room:
Such a Porn Groove playing
Pretty apt i suppose
most the time I'm either Fucked or about to get Fucked on these calls1 -
Adventues with Teachers: Story I
This is a story about an English Teacher that happened to our school in front of 7 year olds.
She doesn't really teach, she just plays movies for them.
So a typical lesson of her goes like this. Turn on the projector, Open the Movie via this streaming site. Most of the times ad's open mostly about betting and stuff but this time when suddenly a Porn Ad opened in front of 7 year olds. Instead of unplugging the Projector like a Normal Person she stands in front of it, jumping moving with her arms to hide it...
Not only that some kids started crying, because they couldn't see what she was hiding. So she spent the entire lesson hiding and trying to cheer children up...
What a great lesson that was...
Why could have that happened. Idk maybe next time either Torrent your Movies or install a fucking ad blocker so you don't have to deal with any kind of ads, especially those!3 -
definitely designing and building an affiliate platform including ad tracking , member sign-up, and content delivery for a porn company
-
What big set of fucken steel balls does one need to just clap your notebook without closing your porn?
-
A VR/AR OS, with gesture recognition and virtual tools, to substitute workstations.
Imagine painting a picture in a AR canvas, for example.
Or using photoshop in VR for a distraction free enviroment. For coding, I would want to use a real keyboard, of course, but I would use virtual screens for everything.
The possibilities are endless, but people would probably use it mostly for porn, obviously. -
Just got reminded by a friend about a mIRC script I wrote when I was about 15 (almost 15 years ago).
It was a script that fetched porn site passwords by querying it with a site name 😂😂😂
Good times! -
Using your VPS as a SOCKS proxy to bypass a region block by a cammer on a camming website.
I really walk the extra mile when it comes to my porn(ish) consuming habits.3 -
That emberassing moment when you watch youtube on tv and you mom walks in as the FIFA ad starts to bawl loudly outta your tv.
Worse than getting stepped in on watching porn imo. -
!! WORST CUSTOMER SERVICE!!
So my Xbox one broke down and I want it to be replaced, since it is out of warranty , I don’t mind paying for a replacement(I heard somewhere they have an offer where you pay a small amount for a new one)
But those fuckers aren’t human, not metaphorically, I mean literally , you can’t call/chat with a human , the only time you can contact a human is after 7:30 fucking PM.
Royal fuck in the nuts witha hammer, you’re Microsoft , not some porn company which is only in one country ,please have a “working” customer service, recommend you guys, before going to buy a Microsoft product , just try to connect to microsoft , you’ll probably end up buying something else
P.S. the image below shows how the only time I can connect to a human is after 7:30PM - 7:00 AM, and no emails too don’t work
5 -
The best tip I got is scheduling. Try to focus on work for 1-2 hours and then take a break. On the break you can check Facebook, news or maybe porn if that's your thing.
-
Do you all sometimes have this strange feeling, that.. actually humanity would not lose anything, if we killed all that useless tech we earn our money with?
Yeah, we get all that propaganda how technical prowess is empowering and sure we all know it's a nice feeling if you can apply the right clicks and bit flips to make the machine do as you want so you feel like the apprentice's sorcerer.
BUT even if you believe your user story adds some business value to some abstract package - what do these devices mostly do? Distract, diffuse your focus, envy other eye-porn provider, endless aberration of clips.
Fuck social media!
(Yes, I know I am on one, but this is because I haven't given up hope on this one.)6 -
I know many of us perhaps don't get too involved with hardware and especially not with professional network installs, but I wanted to share this YouTube channel.
https://youtube.com/user/...
I've watched a couple of videos and have picked up some tips. Even if you're not interested in networking, this guy's problem solving ability is top quality.1 -
Sorry but whats the connection between rubber duck and programming?
Is it like java and javascript
Or porn and pornhub?2 -
"Oh computer, your real name should be porn funnel. I love my family more than you, but only collectively. on a case by case basis I love you more than any individual family member. "
-Nerd 'robot chicken' -
Python is my wife, Elixir is my sexy girlfriend. While I love my life, the gf presents me what my wife cant. ReactJs/Rxjs is a lovely classic porn. The question is: what the fuck devRant is here???6
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https://techcrunch.com/2017/11/...
*LookAtCalendar* 1st april already done this year...
I would suggest to use the function to set a "mentally challenged"-flag on the user profile.
Let's hope the developers behind that idea are still lying under their desks laughing their asses off.3 -
20 fucking seconds for a fucking un-muttable ad.
What if I was trying to slyly watch porn while my brother is half asleep three feet away from me, huh? Fuckin shopping music blaring out my screen.
Holy fuck.
4 -
On a business trip. I brought my work laptop and my personal laptop with me. Because I am smart. But a lot of my coworkers only bring their work laptops. So I guess I am basically wondering how much porn has tainted the work laptops. Especially since they will auction them off around once a year. To be clear I am not wondering about the software taint.2
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One time, i would put a random stacktrace / error log containing fake server credentials/ card info etc on a page/ action letting those "hackers" waste their time digging into it.. only to found out that the server is just a repo of (i would like to say porn butthats still a win situation) useless things1
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When my parents come into my rooms I usually open hackertyper.com and start typing. They think I am a genius of informatics, while I just use pc for gaming and porn.
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Fuck, got one of my Twitter bots permanently suspended. Twitter won't even tell me why.
It was called "gifb0t" and simply searched for "favourite gif" every hour and Retweeted 5 of the search results.
It turned up some killer gifs.
But it also sometimes (unintentionally) found porn gifs... Maybe someone complained?
Frustrating as I have other bots that are allowed to keep running.
Farewell and thanks, gifb0t!
And fuck you, Twitter.2 -
I use Google, stackoverflow, tech documentations to unstuck myself and I'm not afraid to admit it coz ham1
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Working on my new WebSite/Shop while discovering an Error....
I got a "Download" button as <input> that triggers an JS-Script that makes a POST-Request to a target=_blank, that downloads the file via a header (so that people won't know where the content is located, but I blocked the source with .htaccess, too)
So the error: While testing in Mozilla everything worked fine, but as soon as I switched to Chrome THAT FUCKING STUPID DOWNLOAD PAGE WON'T FUCKING OPEN! I HAD TO CHANGE IT FROM AN INPUT TO AN DIV AND TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT IT COSTED ME FUCKING 1 HOUR! FUCK YOU CHROME! FUCK YOU! YES YOU FUCK YOU! YOU RUIN EVERYTHING! MOZILLA IS FASTER WHY THE FUCK DO I STILL USE YOU BESIDES OF PORN! OH WAIT I DON'T EVEN WATCH PORN BETTER UNINSTALL YOU NOW! FUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU6 -
tl;dr Which new laptop + Linux distro combo should I get when seeking for minimal configuration and maintenance hassle?
Hey devRant gang!
I'm looking for a new laptop: which one is supported out-of-the-box by Ubuntu based Linux distros like Elementary OS?
Why Elementary OS you ask? Well, I want to move away from macOS and/but keep the minimal (and pretty) design/interface!
But: I don't want to waste time configuring stuff after install or a kernel update. I don't have time for that: I need to get shit done.
As much as I dislike closed source/evil corporate stuff the fact of the matter is that my MacBook Pro Just Works (and lets me get shit done).3 -
Well... after seeing all of the data that my services have collected on me, I am growing worried about my privacy. No, I am not a bloody tinfoil hat conspiracy theorist. I just got really creeped out by all of the data (even bleeding porn data!) collected by Google and Facebook corp (Note: I never used Facebook, but have used Instagram.
Well... I had the idea of slowly disconnecting from these services. I already made up my mind to quite Instagram by my graduation. But there's a problem with Google.
I have made my Google account in 2010. And that is a problem. I have 8 years worth of emails and accounts registered onto my G-mail. If I were to switch to DuckDuckGo, my use of it would probably be nullified by my use of G-mail and YouTube. But... what can I do? How can I minimize my "Google footprint" enough to make a difference?2 -
If you guys hadn't heard yet, CNN broadcasted porn last night by accident
Who is getting fired?
http://thenextweb.com/shareables/...5 -
I've talked to people, psychiatrists and tried religion just so I can stop watching porn.
I have a beautiful wife, MSc degree in engineering and well-payed job.
But for some reason, whenever I'm alone my mind bursts images of porn, and before I know it, I'm watching porn.
Despite the things I've achieved, it feels like my true potential is hold back.
This influences my mood, development work and so on.
Mindfulness doesn't work, plugins to block it doesn't work and talking to someone doesn't work. Everything is tried.14 -
Speaking about porn blocking on linux, how can I make a service unstoppable without losing my root privilege? :/4
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So I have this habit of googling weird things, obvious things and random things. Over time, I've stuck to using incognito all the time because Google suggestions and targetted ads annoy me (almost) like nothing else. It's a really nice thing to know that some algorithm out there is not judging you.
On the downside, you'll have to constantly explain to people around you that you're not a porn addict. :/3 -
Have you guys seen that guy bought 80's Mac and found a hidden porn game on it? Then here is this https://goo.gl/7qEH8J
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When I was a student, I'd have non tech studying friends ask me for help with their computers assuming I knew what was wrong with their hardware / how to get rid of their viruses without wiping everything out. I'd have to reject everyone like " it could be this or this, but go to X shop they should know how to fix it, this isn't my job or what my education is in". One time someone asked me about a Mac and it literally sounded they they got a virus from porn.. directed them to the Mac Guys. Friend keeps asking me more questions rather than just reaching out to the Mac Guys. like what search has you worried dude? lol
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don't you just love it when you have to fix a system that consists on unnecessary junk code, horrible/lack of indentation, no documentation and the clients says "I don't know what happened fix it and I'll post you good"
I mean, I live for this shit man! -
Solitaire on windows 98 then got windows millenium toshiba laptop, installed diablo 2 and my dad gone nuts because of 8gb hard drive so he havent got any more space for porn xD, then i installed some dialer malware and got fcked up for about 400 bucks meh
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I do some freelancing on the site, make a bit of cash and it's a bit different to the day job.
It can itself be pretty dull or boring, but at least I can drop the client when the project's over and try to find something interesting.
Anyways, I'm logged into a client Google account to do some domain admin on a GSuite account. Logged into Incognito so that it doesn't interrupt my usual session.
Get a bit distracted and sidetracked, end up searching for porn... in Incognito... in the client's session! 💀
Quickly clear search history and hope that does it!
Tell me someone else has done this too??4 -
Do you ever read and re-read the description of some up coming training sessions and it reads like porn to you?
And you're like, yeah, I picked the right profession. -
Google just fucked Apple so hard by extending Assistant to iOS! Now let's see wether Siri visits Android 😝! I think it was more arousing than porn, "pun intended" 😂 ...
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So I have a MEAN app that is super simple just basic CRUD operations.
Everything works fine. Decide to extend it by bringing values over into fields on an Edit page. More work than I thought it would be but got it working, just passed values through an array in the URL. Pretty simple. So then I click save and it's broken. _id is apparently now undefined. Oh I posted it on the Javascript chat on SO and got nothing, instead everyone is talking about porn folders, a tweet, a random picture that looks like either a woman doing oral to a guy or a guy reading a book, and now Obamacare. FFS just answer my damn question >.< So I post it on SO itself and still crickets there. Worst part is I know its something simple I just don't know what it is because I'm still new to programming in general only been a few months in a bootcamp just learning the basics of MEAN stack (which I do like a lot tbh)
Man SO is so frustrating.
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