going home

stackoverflow these days

Dear Santa,

Next year I'd like less morons who do overtime for free.

dev1: have you finished the task?

dev2: yep

dev1: why don't you open a PR?

dev2: I'll open one at 17:59. I want to sleep this night

- Two months ago I joined this company and did literally nothing ever since. For that I would like to thank my line manager and his entire branch for being an amazingly incompetent colleagues, and for mumbling "that's how the client works" every time I raised the same damn problem. Also, let's not forget my HR manager and interviewer, who apparently have no connection whatsoever with real situation of company's projects. And last but not least this remarkably hierarchical workplace where you can't throw a rock without hitting a cocksure higher-up.
Y'all fucks deserve some serious brain readjustment.

- Guys, today the security auditors are coming, don't forget to remove your sticky notes with passwords. And for God's sake wear the badges for a least a day!

thanks a lot!

me: I don't have access to X project

PM: you don't have access to X project?

me: no, I don't have access to X project

PM: don't worry I'll take care of that

2 min. later

PM: so, you were saying ... ?

me: that I don't have access to X project

1 month later

me: I don't have access to X project

PM: you don't have access to X project?

so today at supermarket I was asked if my credit card has wifi ... apparently she meant if it's contactless

this is Brian
Brian is a Java architect
be like Brian

when there are no task left in sprint

PM: what are you working on?
me: my stackoverflow reputation

ducker start rhea1
focker start rhea1

I guess it's time to go home ...

when I already deployed the feature, but QA and product owner just started to talk about acceptance criteria

sure, let's make a release just for System.out.println because we don't know about loggers

if you feel lonely now you can play games with Google assistant :/

my retarded landlord upon finding out that I have neither Viber nor Skype started doubting that I'm working in IT

lol.

that was quick

Our Support Team is currently processing your inquiry. We'll contact you within 1 business day.

23 hours later:
Is it still not working, or the problem was fixed by itself?

No fucking internet and someone mixed everybody's chair.

This company is on fire!!!

How can I get Edge on Ubuntu?

fixing problems on ISS

QA: As a admin, when I select 'ALL' in currency drop down, then all currencies should be available for users

Dev: I believe ALL stands for Albanian lek

I think I'm very fucking far from ok

Bought a new android phone and spent an hour:
* uninstalling apps
* disabling automatic updates
* disabling recommendations
* disabling sending anonymous usage data
* disabling notifications

It's like playing hide and seek but without fun

The Pirate Bay: Database maintenance, please check back in 10 minutes. 13

Me: [F5]

The Pirate Bay: Ok

How to solve problems in Java: change the language

Sometimes I just go on autopilot:

every morning I buy bananas and then eat them during the day

one day I forgot to buy, but still ate bananas

searched my avatar on google images

Cortana! What the hell are you doing in Skype for Linux?!