COVID-19
Why it sounds like a JIRA ticket?

Jira ticket

My company went remote since the outbreak, surprisingly, more work was getting done, so we are completely remote.

to production

So i got a message on a job platform today from a recruiter. So far nothing unusual. But what he wrote was really disgusting. It was basically something like this:

"Since many engineers now lose their jobs in the covid-19 crises, rest assured that we are still hiring! I work for a large company blablablabla..."

So he tries to play with your fear of losing your job in the coming depression. It's also quite possible, that he will also try to negotiate a shit salary for you. Since at least you have safe job now, right?

Fucking disgusting pig.

"During this crisis, we all need to stand together. We're contributing by providing 50% off domain registrations"

"Important COVID-19 update: Social distancing is a must. Free shipping on all dildos and vibrators"

Pandemic-themed marketing emails... 😩

If I get corona virus I am getting COVID-20. COVID-19 is just sooooo last year...

Quarantine

When the 14th largest school district in the country sends a text message to all parents with link about their new COVID-19 policies, you'd think they'd scale up their web server count before pressing send. I guess I'll just read it tonight.

I hate remote working

True story

Non tech coworkers before COVID-19: you don't need home office, it's only a way to avoid job responsibilities

Non tech coworkers today: yeah home office is a great idea, why we didn't think about it before

Call me when covid-19 gets this bad:
From April 12, 2009 to April 10, 2010, CDC estimated there were 60.8 million cases (range: 43.3-89.3 million), 274,304 hospitalizations (range: 195,086-402,719), and 12,469 deaths (range: 8868-18,306) in the United States due to the (H1N1)pdm09 virus. Yet almost no media coverage. The "woke" people were in charge then.

Until then media outlets, STFU...
When all is said and done the media will be guilty of wielding weapons of misdirection. The disgustingness of people willing to use this outbreak as a way for political gain is abominable.

At my work?:
People have not been able to travel so that has been annoying.

Lockdown extented to 21 days. I will be spending my time looking at this view.

Any Covid-19 virus stories to share on how it affected your dev work live?

Covid-19 quarantine checklist:
> isolate yourself ✓
> wash hands ✓ // duuuuh
> work from home ✓
> buy normal quantities of TP ✓
> get attacked by a bat (from Wuhan?! O.o) ✓
> buy some favourite bar soap
> ...

W8 wut?!
Yeah...I saw a bat fly by the balcony.. I thought: oh, how nice, they never fly so close.. Wait...a bat?! Aren't bats supposed to start all this shiiii...O.O
Thoughts interrupted by a bat flap tap (sound it makes when it hits something) behind my back..
Quickly pull hoodie over the hair..and jacket hood to, just in case.. friend once got a bat tangled in her curly hair.. I didn't wanna test if straight but longer hair also make problems for them.. Some more flapping & scratchy noises (I think it fell on the umbrella) then nothing.. OMG did it die on my balcony?! How the fuck am I gonna explain a dead bat to the authorities who remove dead wildlife?! >Yeah, a funny thing happened the other day, I got a message from Wuhan and the messenger dropped dead on my balcony..< Yeah, this would totally work.. o.0 Anyhow, once the noises stopped, I turned around to check on it..but couldn't find it.. so I just hope it managed to fly away and I won't find it after 3 days in the middle of my apartment... o.0

I really don't understand how developers from Facebook, WhatsApp and other messaging platforms still didn't figure out that ever since they introduced message previews on push notifications that those "seen" check-marks became utterly useless in most of cases..

This COVID-19 quarantine just confirms it, since nobody is doing anything else except being on phones and computers whole day but somehow it still takes them several hours to "read" the message..

ouuchh this is harah 😂😂🤣🤣

Just my luck.

I was supposed to sign a new contract last week and get paid 2x more than now + get a lot of benefits. The day before, obviously, they just HAD to stop signing contracts with new people because of COVID.

Also my engineers exam is postponed indefinitely. They are thinking about making it online, which would be awesome, but again - it was supposed to be last week. A lot of stress and time wasted.

I know, those problems are really miniscule when compared to other, but it still is annoying as fuck.

Thank for listening to my Ted talk.

Before covid 19 I was already working from home. But now I feel that the media makes it sound as if we have 40hours a day. Get more hobbies, practice them all, at the same time! Pfff

Get ready for a awesome conspiracy theory/ WhatsApp forward :D i like how people are coming with new stuff every minute of their boredom . Makes you ponder:

====================================

🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

How to dominate the world quickly?

THE GREAT CHINESE STAGE

1. Create a virus and the antidote.

2. Spread the virus.

3. A demonstration of efficiency, building hospitals in a few days. After all, you were already prepared, with the projects, ordering the equipment, hiring the labor, the water and sewage network, the prefabricated building materials and stocked in an impressive volume.

4. Cause chaos in the world, starting with Europe.

5. Quickly plaster the economy of dozens of countries.

6. Stop production lines in factories in other countries.

7. Cause stock markets to fall and buy companies at a bargain price.

8. Quickly control the epidemic in your country. After all, you were already prepared.

9. Lower the price of commodities, including the price of oil you buy on a large scale.

10. Get back to producing quickly while the world is at a standstill. Buy what you negotiated cheaply in the crisis and sell more expensive what is lacking in countries that have paralyzed their industries.

After all, you read more Confucius than Karl Marx.

PS: Before laughing, read the book by Chinese colonels Qiao Liang and Wang Xiangsui, from 1999, “Unrestricted Warfare: China’s master plan to destroy America”, on Amazon, then we talk. It's all there.

🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

Worth pondering..
Just Think about this...

How come Russia & North Korea are totally free of Covid- 19? Because they are staunch ally of China. Not a single case reported from this 2 countries. On the other hand South Korea / United Kingdom / Italy / Spain and Asia are severely hit. How come Wuhan is suddenly free from the deadly virus?

China will say that their drastic initial measures they took was very stern and Wuhan was locked down to contain the spread to other areas. I am sure they are using the Anti dode of the virus.

Why Beijing was not hit? Why only Wuhan? Kind of interesting to ponder upon.. right? Well ..Wuhan is open for business now. America and all the above mentioned countries are devastated financially. Soon American economy will collapse as planned by China. China knows it CANNOT defeat America militarily as USA is at present

THE MOST POWERFUL country in the world. So use the virus...to cripple the economy and paralyse the nation and its Defense capabilities. I'm sure Nancy Pelosi got a part in this. . to topple Trump. Lately President Trump was always telling of how GREAT American economy was improving in all fronts. The only way to destroy his vision of making AMERICA GREAT AGAIN is to create an economic havoc. Nancy Pelosi was unable to bring down Trump thru impeachment. ....so work along with China to destroy Trump by releasing a virus. Wuhan,s epidemic was a showcase. At the peak of the virus epidemic. ..

China's President Xi Jinping...just wore a simple RM1 facemask to visit those effected areas. As President he should be covered from head to toe.....but it was not the case. He was already injected to resist any harm from the virus....that means a cure was already in place before the virus was released.

Some may ask....Bill Gates already predicted the outbreak in 2015...so the chinese agenda cannot be true. The answer is. ..YES...Bill Gates did predict. .but that prediction is based on a genuine virus outbreak. Now China is also telling that the virus was predicted well in advance. ....so that its agenda would play along well to match that prediction. China,s vision is to control the World economy by buying up stocks now from countries facing the brink of severe ECONOMIC COLLAPSE. Later China will announce that their Medical Researchers have found a cure to destroy the virus. Now China have other countries stocks in their arsenal and these countries will soon be slave to their master...CHINA.

Just Think about it ...
The Doctor Who declared this virus was also Silenced by the Chinese Authorities...

Big job cuts on Monday and Tuesday.
We’ll see who will survive until next month.

Get a "Covid-19" email from an online service I last used 4 years ago. The email boils down to 2 sentences of "we are working remotely as we have always done, there is no impact".

3 paragraphs of "here are the services we offer you should check out".

Fuck off

Bought something from the UK for just under €1000 about 2 weeks ago. Had to return it the same day because it was faulty when it arrived.

Finally got my refund today, LESS €120 EUROS thanks to fucking Coronavirus and the sinking sack of shit the Pound Sterling is!

FUCK YOU QUEEN LIZZY!

I literally had this thing in my possession for not even THREE hours before I sent it back in priority post. I got a refund the same day it got delivered (today). Difference in pound when I got it (0.8411) vs. now (0.9521).

Holy fuck at this point I'd rather be sick! It's like wiping your ass with €100 and some change! Pissed away! Plus the worst thing is the seller doesn't feel a thing, he gets the exact same amount of money back. The only way he'd lose is if he uses that money to buy foreign currency (or an item in foreign currency). If he spends it at the local Costco he ain't lost shit.

Since when the fuck does FIAT currency float and sink as quickly as fucking Bitcoin!? FUUUCK!!! Fuck this shit, I buy everything now in Euros! No other country gets my money!

Hold up. Let me just run down to my money farm and grab some extra money off the money tree like they're doing in wallstreet right now!

The moment when a job application process that usually takes 3 weeks, is ongoing for months thanks to COVID

!dev
My school is closing for the next three weeks and the two weeks after that after holidays. That means that I have no school for the next five weeks. And yes it's because of Covid-19.

"The one who stayed away saved all the rest "

We can relate this to recent Covid-19 development.

So here it's time to save world again. From 2 things now.
1. USA government trying to ruin encryption on internet once again.
2. COVID-19

First point is for USA people. Please look into it and call your senators and make people aware of the fucking issue. Internet privacy and safety is on the fucking line.

Second point for everyone.
Another virus I hear. Sure but this one is much more dangerous.
What can you do against it ?
Firstly wash your hands and all that safety stuff.
Now to the fun part of it.
Do you have spare PC at home or just PC ? Yes you lost likely do.
Great.
Then if you want you can join Folding at Home project.
This is where your PC is used to fold viruses and try to find a cure for it.
Sounds cool right ? It is.
And it is very easy to set up.
I'm not going to explain it here but download. Run. Configure and fold. Easy as that.

To all the westerners ranting on social media from the discomfort of their toilet bowls, crying out for toilet paper in a covid-19 world,

Ever got the hint that maybe, just maybe, this is a sign from the Universe that it's time y'all disgusting folks embrace the bidet shower and start washing your shitty assholes South Asian style after every 💩 like you should have started doing since the Hellenistic Era.

And while you're at Amazon placing that order, consider getting a sexy squat commode like this one as that is the scientifically correct way to take a dump.

Question:

How many ventilators do you need per 1,000 of population ?

Where I am, we have one per 4,700 people..

So, how many more do we need..

I would ask elsewhere, but it appears every medical forum I ask such questions in, is infected with assholes who are just abusive and refuse to answer the question, even though they are highly medically qualified and experienced.

It's almost as if, they don't want us to know how shit the situation really is !

Being how here is full of logical, intelligent folk, who are good at looking at the numbers, what answers might you give for this ?

Those two really needs some gloves.

Here's to the last time I'll see the office for a month.

I guess I'm on the WFH bandwagon now 🍻

I’m a homebody anyway and never want to leave the house. Now I have a valid excuse for not leaving the house. Feeding toxic and unhealthy behaviors? Yes. Is right now the time to care? Probably not. Queue bingeing 12 hours a day of Udemy courses.

Public transport is slowly getting quieter and quieter. One side of my enjoys the silence and space, but the other side wishes I had the option to not take it either.

Everyone WFH, I envy you...

Did some math about corona development in germany...
even if we immediately lockdown, the health system will be far overstressed.

we're literally fucked.

but dont believe me, dont believe the rki, go run the numbers yourself and keep in mind, that theres a 2 week incubation period

Due to Covid-19 my university got closed for 2 weeks, and at work we have to work remotely until further notice.

Hey all,

I guess most of us are working from home due to COVID-19 outbreak. So I am just curious how it is going for you.

For me hell lot of work .. Like in office I can be free at time and have help too.. But now at home hardly have time for lunch, tea breaks etc. I know Work From Home feels good . but I am not feeling it good for too long :(..

!dev

Ok, it must be said, as I see that even here, developers, who are supposed to be smart people, actually believe that corona virus is harmless, and believe that governments and media are overreacting.

So to the point, yes, covid-19 is harmless at this point, but it’s a fucking virus and viruses do mutate as they spread. If it was ignored as a lot of smartass ignorant people suggest, that would allow virus to mutate freely until it would reach the state that it becomes a threat to human race survival.

There’s actually a good damn example from the past (1918) - Spanish flu. It started as a regular flu (just like corona now), well it was ww1, so everyone ignored it, and believed it will go away by itself + media is forbidden to write about it in most countries, because it may affect the war. So virus spreads and reaches stage 2 - it’s able to kill healthy young grown up person in 24 hours. Over 2 years, 50 million people are dead because of virus, and keep in mind that world population back then was somewhere about 2 billions.

Now I agree, that some people are totally overreacting, but come on, we’re talking about the same people who were doing tide pods challenge a few years back... #stupidpeopledoingstupidthings

Someone should really close the COVID-19 ticket. Or at least make it ready for technical/PO review.

I'm loving it!

The best thing about it is that it's less of everything.

I save 2h of commute.
I can listen to music on my speakers with subwoofers to hear that bass.
I can take the pauses I want without anyone staring at me negatively, as long as I'm productive of course.
Less chances of getting the virus (the only risk is my mother who is a nurse).
I can be less apart from my family.
Less distractions.
Less money on gasoline.
Less everything.

I think this virus outbreak is going to fundamentally change the way we do a lot of things.
Things like work (remote work), shopping online, digital money, and even the educational system (finally).

I hope everyone is well and stays well.

Just got sad news this week, we could work less and earn less or after a few days some of us might even lose their job, the economy is not stable because of covid 19. I have mixed feelings about what is going on.

Now, instead of having to schedule a single rest day during my college's spring break (I normally have to schedule one day instead of getting the entire week due to being online... hooray), I get an entire 2 weeks off where the school is on lockdown and literally no one but like 150 cops will be there. Why? Not due to COVID-19, but due to threats against the school. A hooligan found out that if a school's main campus burns down or is otherwise destroyed entirely, everyone instantly gets their Bachelor degree (why this is a thing, I dunno...)

Protected Person (Me) {

Me.location = "127.0.0.1";
Me.takenMask = true;
Me.durationHome = 30;

Commit();
}

My company just pulled the trigger on wfh. They just sent out an email saying tomorrow's the last day any of the offices in the region are open. Come in and get your shit. See you on teams.

Most of us have been working from home for a while anyway but there's been a few holdouts wondering why no one's coming in. It'll be interesting to see their reaction. On teams.

I always hated handshakes, being an in crowed and public places where a lot of people wandering around so no problem for people like me but i see people are idiots.

BTW i am staying home today. I called in sick (I am not sick actually, just taking care of myself)

Shaking hands, kissing, working together and private offices staying open.

and some company owners including mine are like :

We Introverts are going to look back to these days, Don't forget to make some memories...

... No one is asking to go out, Employers are offering work from home, to many of us it's the same old same old, in the mean time I wish y'all the best time...
to do amazing things, complete your pending projects, gist some funny/important stuff, read/write a little, organize you machine/room/life, take on some DIV projects, code better and automate the boring stuff (basically everything and anything)

I am planning to make my own version of our beloved Jarvis (just in case If I get my hands onto mind stone :p)

sudo yum -y remove covid-19

Just heard South Africa is going into national shutdown and only essential businesses will be operational. (Hospitals, food, water, etc.) We currently only have 402 cases.

What's interesting is that our systems are internal (not connected to internet almost at all) so I need to setup our git repositories to be accessible from internet so I can work from home.

I am honestly done with COVID-19

I haven't coded for a week which is the longest I've gone without a commit in about 4 years. People are bitching worldwide about deaths and total economy collapse and I'd probably give a shit if forced isolation hadn't completely fucked up a routine that took years for me to perfect.

My productivity before COVID-19 was showing me six figures and I had a perfect work:life balance. Now my coworkers are just ranting back-and-forth, sharing memes, hypothesising about how much this is going to fuck the planet and what it will mean for our jobs when we finally go back. A few of my coworkers have returned but my department is changing projects so I've got to wait at least another week.

If it wasn't for my partner starting her first day at a kickass new job tomorrow, my mates and the hobby projects I've got, I don't even know...

I'm glad my country is taking isolation so seriously and I don't care if I'm not making money for a while. I just wish I could help some of my friends who have lost fucking everything, seemingly all because some people want to drink bat piss and think there won't be any consequences.

Hey guys is there anything we as devs could do regarding this covid-19 situation in terms of our technical skills? Like any project or something for making awareness at global or local level, or some status update regarding various things/items that are affected by this pandemic?

I am looking for ideas or currently ongoing projects that i could contribute to. Currently my tech stack is limited to java, python , android and a little bit of basic data analysis, but i am fluid enough to learn and contribute.

How mush longer do I have to sign into every app I use with 2FA? Not being on the company network is annoying...

THERE'S SO MANY TEXT MESSAGES!!!

The place I currently work at doesn't allow homeworking for consultants. RIP

Kind of thinking of making one of those COVID-19 infection simulators. Might be interesting to use a particle swarm type of algorithm for it.

So i guess Zoom and other video conferencing applications are feeling the pressure! I am currently taking an online class for my bootcamp, and the audio and video are both so glitchy!

Damnnnn!!!!

Thank you mom 🤷🏻🤦🏻

(Translation :
Mom: make a list of all the stuff and let me know what to store for you
Me :?
M : everyone is storing stuff at home
M : like groceries , medicines etc
M : due to corona
M : i will also start storing stuff from tomorrow
M : They say Maharashtra is about to get lock down
Me : internet
M : make a list for everyone ,till tomorrow

Except COVID-19, Airport security is also scanning preflight requests and incoming traffic for CORS with its dated test kit (found this unused gem in an old PHP codebase):

So, who's been laid off so far due to covid-19?

Well with this lock down and isolation I should come out a full stack dev once it's all over!

Salute to doctors to fighting to corona
Salute to army and police to maintaining security
but also
Salute to IT to maintaining balance in economy!!

Well, will see where the future brings my company. Many of our customers had to close down.
They told us that we might have to work much less.

I’m worried, as I’m sure many of you are about covid 19 and work drying up. I can work from home but who’s gonna want to get a new site or app done now with so much uncertainty!

Nobody where are authorized to do remote working

Covid-19 : everybody look how its fun to do remote working ....

Ya 🖕 please

All students building are close to stop the propagation of the virus. But you web developer are an essential services you need to be there for two week to make an remote course system in 2 week 😆🤭